Read it on Tumblr: post/624944602957414400/shes-not-my-girlfriend

Read it on AO3: /works/25584184

Warnings: One swear word, right at the end.

Silence.

That was the only thing evident in the office of Andre Bourgeois, Mayor of Paris, as he, Chat Noir, resident male superhero of Paris, and Roger Raincomprix, Captain of the Parisian Police Department, huddled around the official phone, which all three men were eyeing like how a cat would eye a mouse. Or how a mouse would eye the last piece of cheese.

Ladybug, resident female superhero and the second half of the duo that protected Paris from resident supervillain Hawkmoth, was nowhere to be seen, which would have been worrisome, had there not been more pressing matters.

Nadja Chamack, TVi news reporter, shifted uneasily, her suit jacket too tight for her – her usual one had to be sent to the drycleaners after her daughter, Manon, had spilled her cup of hot chocolate on it – and the tension-filled air too stifling.

"How much longer?" she called out hesitantly, her microphone clasped in between her sweaty hands.

"Not much," Captain Raincomprix called out, not looking away from the phone. "They said they'd connect with us in half-in-hour. And that was half-an-hour ago. We should be expecting a call any minute now."

Nadja sighed, looking at her cameraman. "Is it working?"

He nodded his confirmation.

Nadja turned back to the scene in front of her, and asked out, "Chat Noir, do you have any words to speak about the matter at the moment?"

The Cat hero glanced at her and smiled. "There's no need to worry. We'll get the hostage to safety in no time."

Even though the two miraculous heroes had originally emerged to solely combat Akumas, they had eventually begun to help out in robberies and hostage situations and had even used their magical abilities to aid the Parisian police department in catching criminals, so Chat Noir's involvement in this matter wasn't a surprise. However…

"Chat Noir, do you know where Ladybug is?"

The ears of Chat Noir's suit twitched slightly, giving away the nervousness that he wasn't showing in his calm façade. "M'lady is currently unavailable, it seems. Where ever she is though, I have no doubt that she is safe and well."

Nadja nodded, not entirely convinced. "But, wouldn't it make sense for her to be here? Her lucky charm could just be the thing we need to find out where the hideout of the thieves is."

The hideout of the four thieves that had scaled an attack on the biggest Parisian mall open, right in the middle of a Sunday, robbing almost every single jewel store, as well as taking a hostage to ensure that the police wouldn't out-right shoot at them and risk the life of a civilian.

The group, who had introduced themselves as the 'Four Clovers', had announced that they would release the hostage safely if their requirements were met by the city of Paris and that they would give a call to the mayor to let him know of these requirements.

Half-an-hour had passed since then, which was also the time they said that they'd make the call, and it was evident that all the people in the room were getting antsy.

Mayor Bourgeois, Chat Noir, and Captain Raincomprix hadn't left the side of the phone since the announcement had been made. Chloe Bourgeois and Sabrina Raincomprix sat at the far end of the office, failing at looking as if they were completely unbothered by and absolutely not curious about the situation at hand. Ladybug was MIA. Manon would be calling any minute, demanding her mother's attention, and Nadja was slowly drowning in her sweat, as the air conditioning didn't seem to be working. How Chat Noir hadn't already died from heatstroke whilst sitting in his skin-tight, black leather suit, she didn't know. Probably because of the magic.

Definitely because of the magic.

Wearing a magic suit must have its perks.

The quiet, tense calm of the office was pierced by an almighty shrill, which was almost immediately cut off as Chat Noir practically slammed the speakerphone button on the dial-pad. "Hello?!"

Every single occupant in the room tensed, gazes fixed on the telephone.

The only thing that could be heard was a heavy panting, before—

"We have your girlfriend."

Chat Noir blinked. Nadja had the impression that he was wracking his head for an answer.

"I-I don't have a girlfriend? Wha—"

"That girl you're always with."

Chat Noir leaned back, realization dawning over his face.

The Cat hero, despite looking no older than eighteen, was quite popular amongst the young population of Paris. With fangirls, fanboys, fan-whatevers, and borderline stalker-ish fans, it wouldn't have been hard to have mistaken one of them as his significant other.

"Look, sir, you must be mistaken. I don't have a girlfriend, or a boyfriend for the matter, so you probably have accidentally just kidnapped a completely innocent civilian—"

"She made us re-evaluate our life choices," the thief sobbed, and everybody froze at the sound. "And now we feel really bad."

Chat Noir stared at the phone, stunned, as if it had just told him that catnip had never existed. "I, uh—"

Whatever he was going to say was drowned out by the ringing of Nadja's phone. The reporter turned a bright red, realizing that she had forgotten to silence it earlier, and hurridly grasped it from her pocket, accidentally pressing the speaker button.

"Manon, I'm in an interview right now, can you please—"

"Nadja," interrupted the frantic voice of Sabine Cheng. "Have you seen Marinette?! She was in the mall at the time of the attack and now I can't reach her cellphone—"

Chat Noir glanced her way at the noise, and his face went deathly pale as if he had heard that cheese would no longer be available in the market. As if Mayor Andre had banned puns from Paris.

"Oh my god," he whispered, horrified, his ears and tail absolutely erect, his eyes wide. "They have Marinette."

"Please, come pick her up," the thief cried, his voice thick with emotion. "Please."

After an hour of more uncontrollable sobbing, and having to call a therapist to calm down the thief, a group of police officers came out of the building that the Four Clovers had been using as their hide-out, half of them restraining the thieves, all of whom supported red-eyes, and half of them shielding Marinette Dupain-Cheng with a shock blanket.

"Really, I'm alright," the young girl insisted. "I don't need a blanket."

The police officer frowned at her. "Are you sure?"

"They didn't hurt me at all! In fact, they were really nice. They gave me candy." She waved a toffee in the air as proof. "They even had my favorite flavor!"

The look the officer gave her let her know that he didn't believe her, but he relented nonetheless. Marinette turned away, heaving a sigh of release, only to be crushed in a tight hug by her parents.

"Are you okay?!" Sabine cried, clutching Marinette by the arms. "We were so worried!"

Marinette winced at the sight of tears on both her parent's faces. "Maman, Papa, I'm okay. They didn't hurt me."

Tom Dupain didn't reply, choosing to instead give his daughter another bone-crunching hug.

Gently disentangling herself from her parent's tight grips, she glanced at the Cat hero who was standing at the corner of the street, half-hidden by the shadows. "Let's go home. I'm tired."

That night, after re-assuring her parents multiple times that yes, she would be fine sleeping alone and no, she would not get nightmares, Marinette popped open the latch of the door that led to her balcony and transformed, leaping across the rooftops to where she knew her partner was waiting for her.

She glanced around their usual meeting spot, finding it empty, and turned around to check their second meeting spot, only to be crushed in another hug.

"You scared me," Adrien Agreste's voice came, muffled against her neck. "Why didn't you just fight your way out? You could have gotten away from the thieves.

Marinette gently patted his head, dropping her transformation and wrapping her arms around him. "I couldn't do that, Chatton. They had me surrounded at all times. And I'm sorry I worried you."

Adrien looked at her, green eyes practically glowing in the night. "Please don't get caught in another situation like this. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."

"You're never gonna lose me, Adrikins," she giggled, using the nickname that Chloe had given him that she knew he hated. "Best friends don't leave each other. And even if I did die, you bet your ass I'd haunt you for the rest of your life."

Ignoring Adrien's grumbles, Marinette hugged her best friend tighter.

She was never going to leave him. Not if she could help it.