A/N: so...yeah, i'm back! Now, i know what you may be asking: "brave, what are you doing! You already have one fanfic to update but you decide to work on this monstrosity!? What is wrong with you?"

And to answer that i have a big and resounding: "i have no fucking clue!".

So there.

This idea popped in my head one day due to writer's block and because my thoughts are about 70 percent spiderman, so i really should not be surprised. Now don't get me wrong, i AM going to update my other fic, it is just that, as i said before, i am having quite the MASSIVE writer's block on it. So I ask you guys to have a little patience with me while I work things out on it. But while i decided to give myself a break from it , I also decided to work on something else. Something that is equally taxing and arguably more difficult to write.

I don't claim to be a particularly clever man but here we are.

I don't know how well i can work this but we are already here so what the hell.

Ladies and gentlemen! I give you Webbed up hell. A hazbin hotel/helluva boss and spider man crossover. It is weird, it is messy, it is dark and it makes no fucking sense. So naturally I had to write it down. If you guys didn't guess by now, this is an AU in which Peter Parker, our friendly neighborhood spiderman, ends up in hell. The hazbin version of it. How did he end up in hell? How is the blending of worlds going to mess up the story? Well stick around and you may find out!

Side note, the cover art for this fanfic as well as the general look of peter in this fanfic does not belong to me. It actually belongs to plarspaz down on tumblr. Well, this particular picture was actually made by jaypriestly-artwork also on tumblr but they based this picture on the art of polarspaz, so i guess credit goes for both of them. I could not, for the life of me, figure out how Peter would look as a demon but as luck would have it, I didn't have to. Rule number one of the writing club: always steal from the best and that is exactly what i did. But credit where credit is due. The artwork belongs to them. I own nothing. That also goes for spiderman and hazbin hotel and helluva boss. All i own is this fic.

Without any further interruptions i give you chapter one:

Wake up.

The green blades of grass beneath him were turning red with his blood and the rain could not wash it away. If he were any kind of lucid right now he would have thought how much of a mess he was making in his uncle's grave and how much of a disrespect to his memory that was. But the blood loss was taking care of much of his bodily functions right now. He could feel his lungs filling with blood, making every breath a messy and violent cough and the tips of his fingers becoming numb and cold. Not that cold and numbness was an issue here in the graveyard in the middle of such a downpour.

His costume, or the remnants of it anyway, was sticking to his skin uncomfortably, working as makeshift bandages for the multitude of cuts, bruises and puncture wounds that covered almost every inch of his beaten body, spilling precious life onto the grave and the dirt, making the soil drink it like a blood starved vampire. Morbid and depressing, that was his death.

This was death. He was dying and he knew it. There was no getting out of this one. No daring escape, no last minute powerup, no miracle cure, no cosmic intervention, no magical mcguffin to save his life at the last second, no reinforcements and no allies to pull him out of the fire; he was completely and utterly alone.

And he was fine with that.

Except he was not fine with that.

But he really had no one else to blame but himself. He made this bed. Now he was going to sleep in it. No matter how uncomfortable and downright depressing it might be.

Who would have thought that the amazing spider man, a hero of new york, would end up becoming...this.

A criminal.

A murderer.

A monster.

Wake up.

I deserve this, he thinks as he goes blind in one eye due to the blood dripping into it. The rain can't wash it away. Self Loathing has always been one of his most defining traits but now it is tuned up to eleven. And with good reason. Dying really gives one perspective on all one has done in life. The good.

And the bad.

And dear god there is so much bad. Peter Parker is a bad boy.

Wait, that does not sound like his thoughts.

Wake up.

He can see him. Standing in all his hellish glory, right in front of him, the rain going through him as if he was nothing more than an after image. His yellow eyes glowing like twin flames. Flames from hell. His red cape swishing to the wind, though he suspected that it would anyway even with no wind to support it. He was dramatic like that.

Mephisto, the demon lord of hell, was smiling at him.

It sent a chill down his spine, even though he was plenty cold already.

It was the kind of smile you see on a father that has witnessed his son score the point that won the team the game. Or the kind of smile a father gives his son when he brings a hot date home.

The kind of smile uncle Ben gave him.

It made him sick to his stomach. How dare him look at me like that, he thinks but does not say it. It doesn't matter anymore. He failed.

And he won.

He fell. He fell so hard. And now he is ruined. His name. His reputation. His honor. His identity. All of him is ruined. One last good deed wont change that. He knows it. Mephisto knows it, otherwise he wouldn't be here on his last moments on this earth. To remind him exactly of where he is going. Of where he sent himself over.

Wake up.

He can see his lips moving. He is talking to him but he can't hear him. All he can hear is a loud ringing and the sound of rain. He supposes it is a blessing, not having to hear him going on and on on how he had finally beaten him, how he is nothing compared to him, how he is going to take over the world eventually or some shit like that. Villains and their monologues. They really love the sound of their own voice.

And there goes his legs. He can't feel them anymore. It is getting harder and harder to breathe by the second. It won't be long now.

Wake up.

Mephisto is laughing now. He must think he is so fucking funny. Well, he was spider-man. Nothing was more funny than his life. So he had him better in that area. Though he is not in any qiuping mood right now. Haven't been for a long time now. He is going away now. There is a small explosion of sulfur and red smoke and Peter is alone again. Always for the dramatics. Not that he was one to talk.

The rain is going away now but the clouds remain. It seems he won't live long enough to see the dawn. The thought makes him feel terrible and the reality of the situation begins to kick in again.

He really is going to die. It's almost unthinkable.

After everything he has gone through, all the crooks, kingpins, superpowered criminals and cosmic threats, and this is how he is going to go down?

He is ok with that.

He is not ok with that.

Wake up.

His vision, or what remains of it, is tunneling. It is just a manner of seconds. There is no pain anymore. No discomfort or trouble breathing, even though he can still kind of feel blood dripping from his mouth. It was almost peaceful for him, alone with his thoughts, in the grave of the only father he has ever known. The father that led to his death. Just another name in his ledger. Another one he has let down and disappointed. Peter is almost glad he won't go to heaven. He does not want to see the look on his uncle's face when he meets him.

That would just destroy him.

This is it.

Wake up.

Wake up.

Wake up.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Everything goes dark.

Nothingness.

But then there is a dark laughter filling the void and his heart with dread.

But then he is falling.

Falling and falling, towards that black spot in the distance. It looks like a building.

Hell is his lot. More than he deserves.

The spot is getting closer and closer, the wind in his face a familiar sensation.

It is right on his face…

WAKE UP YOU FUCKING FREAK!

Kaine's eyes snap open and his body shakes in shock, effectively knocking him off his web-made hammock and onto the dirty floor of the alleyway, face first.

So that is what the ground tastes like. Not a fan.

Looking up he is greeted by the end of a shotgun barrel and the sigh of a particuraly obese boar demon in a white tank top. He even had the iconic grease stain on the center of his belly, which spilled out comically from his pants as if it were melting play-doh. His tusks were overgrown, angular and an ugly yellow, with disgusting stains on the tip of them. His beady little eyes were bloodshot red and his black fur was thick and dirty with grease and god knows what else.

He is an one ugly motherfucker, is what he thinks.

"What? you think this is some kind of hotel, punk? This is my fucking alleway, where i dump my fucking trash, so you better scram right fucking now before i fill your ugly mug full of lead!"

His voice is like every thug ever. Kain thinks he might have encountered him before back when he was alive. He certainly looks familiar, but here in hell, everyone kind of mashes together in vague recognition, even when they are ugly or outlandish as all fuck.

Still, he does not like his tone one bit. And he doesn't like to be interrupted from what little sleep he can get on this shithole.

"I'm sorry, help me out here, but just how are you going to 'fill my ugly mug with lead'? Kaine asks uninterested while looking straight down the barrel of the gun. It might as well be just another monday for him with the way he talks, which just serves to piss out the demon more.

"What? Are you ugly and blind? Can't you see the shotgun right at your-"

TWIP!

He is cut short when a white strand of webbing shoots from kain's hand like a bullet, right onto the barrel of the gun, covering the tip completely. Caught off guard and surprised at the sudden development, his grip on the gun slacks, making it even easier on kaine's part to tug it out of his hands with a slight move of his wrist. The gun flies out of the reach of the boar demon, only to end up on the awaiting claws of our fallen hero. Once in his hands, kain wastes no time with the gun, tugging away the strand of web covering the barrel and taking aim right at the crotch area of this asshole.

BANG!

"Ah, Fuck! Arghhhh!"

Is all what the boar manages to screech as there was now a gaping, bleeding hole where his penis used to be, spurting streams of blood everywhere on the floor each slight movement he made. He collapsed on the floor trying and failing to stop the bleeding. Groaning and moaning in pain, just as Kain began to stand up from the dirty floor, dusting himself off with his left hand while the right hand clutched hard at the shotgun till it snapped like a twig.

"What shotgun?" kaine asks condescendingly as he watched the worm squirm on the ground. His eyes held no pity for the demon that tried to kill him so why should he? He would not have stayed dead but from what he has seen, death and reemergence in hell was not a painless process and he was in no hurry to have his cherry popped in that regard.

"Maybe next time you will learn to be a little more generous with strangers. You never know when one is going to turn you into a stain on the floor" Kaine all but growls at the boar while he turns his way out of the alleyway and into the noisy and chaotic streets of pentagram city, all while ignoring the shouts and threats from the boar, all promising him a world of pain after he healed and blah-de-blah-de-blah.

"Sure, whatever you say buddy. Good luck with growing your penis back. Three centimeters can't be that hard to grow back can it?" he really can't help it to twist the wound even more and he knows he got him when the next thing he yells in an incomprehensible boar like screech of anger.

Ahh, the sound of a thug screaming in anger while knowing there was nothing he could do about it. He really missed that sound. It brought back good memories. All in all, this was not a complete disaster of an introduction to this city. Having arrived just as the latest extermination finished up, most would consider themselves lucky having avoided such a metaphorical bullet.

Most were not Kaine, who could bench press 20 tons like they were just 20 pounds. Then again, most demons in hell were not former superheroes turned violent vigilantes. That, kaine could say with certainty, was not a common sight here on hell.

And what a sight that was. Despite being here for the better part of 10 whole years-which was actually a very long time. Time in here flowing differently than time upstairs and all- , hell never ceases to surprise him in the most unpredictable of ways. It was definitely not what he was expecting, nor what mephisto promised for him.

Not that it completely rocked him to the core. Once he began to actually "live" down here, the demon once known as Peter Parker began to realize that this place was very much a punishment, despite the lack of constant turture and fire and brimstone that he had expected.

Those things are still here, somewhere in some other region of hell, wonderworld being his first exposure and a good example to the horrors of hell. Nevertheless, the real punishment in hell is the constant chaos. Never a moment of peace, or rest, sinners in hell have to live forever with this discord, never truly growing accustomed to it or ever truly loving it. Rather than constant torture or everlasting pain, hell was all about death by a thousand cuts, where the little and big things pilled over you constantly, never giving you peace of mind.

Truly, Kaine thinks bitterly as he walked through the streets of his new home, that it is more effective in the long run when you plan out such a massive punishment for such a large crowd. dont want any masochists popping up with constant over the top torture.

No to mention that thing that happens to us sinners every once in a while…

Kaine shudders and shivers at the reminder. The less said about that the better.

The point was that chaos was the main source of pain for the majority of the demons trapped in hell.

And what better example of said chaos bringing pain and despair to the inhabitants of hell than the yearly exterminations done by heaven to "control the population problem in hell".

Which was total bullshit in his mind, but it didn't make the situation any less depressing.

As kaine looked around the city he could see the aftermath of such exterminations: corpses everywhere, all impaled and pierced by the heavenly weapons of the exterminators. Blood and gore covering the buildings and walls, debris and destruction wherever some demon pulled out a fight towards the commanding force of the heavenly host, and most of all many of the looks on the surrounding demons' faces just screamed despair, rage, and resignation.

He would feel bad for them if he didn't remember where exactly he was. Each and every soul here, twisted in appearance and personality, ended up here in hell because of what they did in life. Everyone around him deserves to be here.

Kaine included.

The sound and booming sensation of fireworks going off in the sky reminded him of such a fact. There were demons in hell that enjoyed such carnage and violence. That celebrated tragedy like some sort of festival. Those who saw opportunity in the death and misery of others, as he sees several other demons already fighting and killing each other for some scrap of exterminator metal or just new territory if the booms and bangs in the distance are any indication.

Kaine stops his walk right in front of some form of tv store as he takes in his surroundings. Despite being the "big apple" of hell, Pentagram City at its core, is no more different than Imp city or Cannibal Colony (the only two other cities he has interacted with ever since his own arrival): Some semblance of civilization in the middle of the chaos of hell, with the overlords and the hellbourne at the top toying with the sinners at the bottom, who drown themselves in debauchery, violence, drugs and insanity.

The difference being the scale of how all of that is done. If what they told him was correct, pentagram city is like the new york of hell. The capitol, where the biggest and the baddest sinners and overlords gather naturally like moths to a flame. The place the king of hell calls home, Lucifer Magne.

When he first arrived he expected Mephisto. Instead here comes here and realize that hell is ruled by many, MANY, overlords besides just him. Some sinners who have been here for quite a long while, some hellbourne demons that have been here since the very beginning of hell. Some more powerful than others, constantly changing ranks and status, some killing others, some overthrowing others. It is a madhaus but with one constant that honestly surprised him. Lucifer is the top dog.

The ruler of all.

Guess Mephisto was not the big shot he made himself look. That thought honestly made him a little happy.

Kaine sighed loudly as more and more demons around him returned to some semblance of normality. He could see some a pair of female demons looting a corpse from the exterminator spears plucked deep into its body near some local across the street called Franklin and Rosie's emporium.

Or maybe he should say Franklin and Rosie's Emporium, as the well dressed demoness atop the roof of such a local crossed out the franklin part of the title, smiling proudly as a small horde of red demons began to pounce on the previously looted corpse as if it was the last coke of the desert.

Cannibals, Kaine thought with disgust and anger, letting a small growl escape his mandibles. Sometimes he wonders if he is the only demon in hell stubborn enough to try and keep some semblance of that humanity he used to have, intact all the way down here.

How easily some demons throw away their humanity, treating themselves and others as if they had no worth beyond what they could gain. It burned him to the core with anger.

And with sadness by realizing how alone he truly is here.

Greed, lust, wrath, pride, gluttony, sloth, envy.

Everything around him is beaming with the seven deadly sins of man, and then some, reflected not only in actions but in their looks as well. Monstrosities pass him by down the street as demons of all shapes, sizes and aspects become more hectic and active. There are winged demons, goat demons, clown demons, eldritch demons, skeleton demons, horned demons, cyclops, draconic demons, bird like demons, furry like demons, hellhounds, imps, ghost-like demons, gargoyles, scarecrows, harlequin like demons and more monsters than he can count.

Each cursed with an appearance fitting the state of their soul. A reflection of their true self, that is what sinner demons are.

Kaine is not the exception.

As he stands rooted there in the middle of the sidewalk and as demons pass him by without even a glance, Kaine looks at his own reflection, multiplied by the many tv sets beyond the glass.

He was taller now, as before in life he remembered being 5.10 feet tall, now he was a whole feet taller, closer to 6.5 feet tall. His muscles also grew to compensate for his height, allowing him to look athletic and fit rather than slim or morbid which showed well through his dark blue hoodie, black jeans and sneakers. Unfortunately, that was not where the changes ended. Dark brown fur covered every inch of his body now, save for the area of his face, forearms, feet and chest and lower abdomen which were covered with a more clear shade of brown fur, almost resembling skin tone. That fur was a strange mix of wolf fur and spider hairs,setules, making his fur very sensitive to the changes in the wind, temperature and pressure while also allowing him to stick to any and all surfaces. His fingers were claws now, razor sharp claws that cut through steel as if it was paper. His feet were transformed. Rather than the familiar five fingers, he now only had two, reminding Kaine of his former x-men ally nightcrawler. But the most drastic changes were on his face, if it could even be called that at this point. His facial structure was somewhat human and relatively the same to how it looked back on earth. Except he now had 8 eyes instead of two. Eight black eyes with a white iris and pupil capable of seeing in the dark and through great distances. Two of his eyes were the bigger ones and what he considered his "main" eyes. The other six were way more smaller and spread over his face with four on his forehead above the brows and the remaining two just below the lower eyelids and slightly above the cheekbones. He no longer had ears but instead at the sides of his head, where his ears were supposed to be, pincers sprouted and reached down to the sides of his mouth. Pincers that injected painful poison from the tips and into any unfortunate victims. His mouth, which was filled to the brim with blade like fangs, had a long vertical line growing down from his lower lip all the way down to the tip of his chin. His nose remained mostly intact but the air holes were more akin to slits than actual holes. His sense of smell however was increased to the point of painful annoyance. He could smell even the subtlest of smells which made his first days in hell...hell for his nose as he suffered from sensory overload. The same could be said for his hearing, despite not having actual ears.

This must be what it was like to be daredevil.

It took him a while to realize that he was some kind of wolf spider demon. One of the most human looking demons out there but still monstrous all the same. Kaine hated it. He hated all the fur that just made everything more uncomfortable due to its sensitivity. He hated how he sheds his fur at the most uncalled times, getting it everywhere. He hated how his sense of smell made every little thing almost unbearable. He hated how the mop of brown fur in his head was untamable. He hated how ugly he looked.

He hated himself.

That just about sums it all out. He hated himself. Not that it was something new but still.

He turned his head to the side as a scowl crawled its way to his face, making his pearly white fangs come out in full display. He is constantly pissed or annoyed it seems. He has not been happy for a while now, not ever since moving out of Imp city.

It was for the best, he had thought. Pentagram city is big and a familiar sight to new york. It could be home. So far, it has not been a good first impression.

Then again, he thought bitterly, this is hell. There is no such thing as a good first impression. Only slightly bad ones.

He snorts in annoyance. This was hell. His lot and home till the end of days and judgement day. Truly, he was damned. Nothing to be done.

He made to walk again to his unknown destination but the sound of the tv sets coming to life stopped him in his tracks. His curiosity getting the better of him, he directed his gaze to the screens beyond the glass once again as 666 news began it's start up. The most popular news station in all of hell, broadcasting the latest scandals and gossip all over the afterlife.

Might as well see how Pentagram city displays the aftermath of the extermination.

The jingle introducing the news ends and the picture changes to the news set with two demons as the presenters.

A white, blond thin bug demoness and a gas mask wearing demon male. He has seen them before, in ads and billboards.

The demoness speaks introducing them both:

"Good afternoon! I'm Katie Killjoy." she makes a small pause-

"And I'm Tom Trench." followed up immediately by her partner introducing himself.

Katie Killjoy and Tom Trench. Could their names be any more news like? How cliche, Kaine thinks amused.

"Chaos at a pentagram city today as a turf war is raging on the west side between notable king Sir Pentious and self-proclaimed spunky powerhouse Cherri Bomb" as he speaks, in that muffled gas mask voice, pictures appear at the introduction of the previously mentioned demons. When King Sir Pentious (punny name) was mentioned a picture of a cobra demon appeared on screen. He was black and yellow with multiple eyes of various shapes and sizes. His hood behaved like makeshift straight hair, which also had eyes on it. He was wearing what could only be described as a "hipster skateboard" attire, complete with skateboard and peace sign. It was quite the cringy picture but Kaine couldn't help but find it hilarious. Hard to think that this guy was any sort of menace. He looked more like an old man trying desperately to look "hip and modern" like the popular, younger kids. It was hilarious.

The next picture was of Cherri Bomb and Kaine was not ashamed of admitting that she was quite the hottie. A pink eyed cyclops demon where instead of a normal pupil she had a white "x", the raw drawing-picture of her was of posing with her middle finger on full display, her blonde hair, with pink and white accents, was as wild as a hair in a ponytail could be. The picture made evident a large amount of mascara, while she gave the camera a mixture of a scowl and a fang filled smile. She was wearing quite the skimpy outfit: grey, fingerless satin glove on her left arm and a tattoo sleeve on her right arm. She also wears a red off-shoulder crop top, a black bra, a reddish, torn-up miniskirt with two buttons on the front and black, ripped leggings underneath, complete with a single red boot on her left foot and a white and red sock on the right.

Punkish but very much stylish and hot, Kaine can't help out but whistle in appreciation to the image. Despite the grotesque appearances demons tended to take it was also common for there to be quite the handsome and beautiful demons going around. Not really surprising when he thought about it but still… It is the little things that make the hell experience somewhat bearable.

"That's right Tom! After the recent extermination, many areas are now up for grabs! Demons all over Hell are already duking it out to gain new territory!" the surprisingly annoying voice of Katie pulled Kaine out of his totally innocent thoughts. Her words were accompanied this time with a video of the action. The two demons he just saw a picture of were currently ducking it out in video form. Live feed gave Kaine, and the small crowd gathered around him, a first row seat to the action. Cherri and Sri Pentious, going all out, throwing bombs, shooting bullets, all while collateral damage expanded in their horizon. If he focused now, with his enhanced hearing, he could hear said explosions and destruction, all the way on the west side. It is the real deal.

"Those two seem to really be going at it, huh?"

"Looks like they're fighting tooth and nail for that hot spot!" says Katie while pulling out a nail and a tooth from her coffee cup, which she then proceeded to pop into her mouth as if they were a couple of candies.

Gross.

"And I'd sure like to nail her hot spot!" Tom chuckles while gesturing at a good shot of cherri smiling maniacally after dodging an egg minion going mach 3 at her face.

Classy.

Katie giggles maliciously at Tom's remark. "You are a limp dick jackass, Tom."

Ohhh, something is about to happen.

"Or should I say-

She then begins to pour hot, steaming coffee right at poor Tom`s crotch.

No dick"

Tom then begins to bend over in pain, clutching his crotch area tightly while his mask-like face contorted in deep agony while whimpering "Not again" in a slight pitch.

That's gotta smart.

Also deja-vu.

Kaine guesses he is the second demon today who is not having such a good time with their dick today. But he definitely got off easy, as he at least has his dick mostly intact. Not like boar face in the alleyway right now.

The news goes on, even with the whimpering sounds of Tom in the background. The crowd around kaine is larger now but he ignores it.

"Coming up next, we have an exclusive interview with the daughter of Hell's own head honcho, who's here to discuss her brand-new passion project!"

Wait, what.

A picture pops up right next to Katie.

Kaine forgets how to breathe.

"All that and more, after the break!" If Kaine had paid attention to the screen he would have seen how Katie breaks down the cup she had in her hand into many little fragments and appreciated the pun. He may have even chuckled at how right before the commercials, Katie directed a heated and disgusted glare at Tom who was still very much in pain all while spitting a

"Suck it up you little bi- aaaand commercial break.

But Kaine is having a difficult time right now, trying to regain his breath after watching that picture. The picture of the princess of hell, Charlotte Magne, daughter of Lucifer and Lilith magne, heir to the throne of hell. While not at first, after he eventually settled into his new home afterlife, Kaine discovered that Hell had a princess. And honest to god princess. It was hard to believe such concepts still had sway in hell, but he knows better now.

He bets that every soul and hellbourne demon here knows that name. They simply didn't care. Politics has little or actual sway here in the underworld. Even the lower class demons don't give a shit who rules what or who controls who. All they only care or even respect is power, the defining trait that separates lower class demons from overlords and rulers. It makes sense and is actually quite useful for him, as he has even more power in spades now that he is a demon.

And while being the daughter of Lucifer himself does give her certain advantages, taking a spot on the famous 666 new could have not been easy at all, nobody really cares or respects the fact that she is the princess of hell. As far as they are concerned, that is nothing but a meaningless title. Nothing more.

Even Kaine didn't care but that was because the whole hell system disgusted him. Rulers that cared not for their subjects were no rulers at all and he had yet to see any overlord or hell ruler do anything to actually aid their subjects. Then again their subjects were evil sinners that willingly threw themselves to unforgivable sins, so Kaine was caught in a loop of perpetual nihilism because of that.

The core of the matter was that he didn't expect the princess of hell to be any different. And then he saw her face. It was funny. Despite knowing her by name, he hadn't seen an actual picture of her in all his years in hell. He just assumed she was a private person/demoness and that was that.

But now he has, and he feels as if a thousand memories wash over him like a tsunami.

Charlotte Magne was a very human looking hellbourne. White, snow white skin hidden under a red form fitting tuxedo that did nothing to compromise her figure. Blond curly hair going beyond her shoulders and into her back like beautiful, thin, golden locks. Black pearls for eyes in a slightly yellow sclera, wide and full of cheer that seemed to look in naive wonder at everything around her. But the one thing about her that stood out the most was her smile; a wide and absolutely stunning smile in her puffy but somewhat thin black lips that revealed a perfect set of pearly white teeth, reaching all the way to the twin red orbs she had for cheeks. The picture showed such a cheerful and innocent image that Kaine had to actually remind himself that she was a demon hundred of times older than himself, probably even the entire human/mutant race.

But that was not what left him breathless, though it may have been enough in any other situation. No, what left him in dire need of oxygen was the uncanny resemblance this princess of hell had with another certain blonde. A blonde he had known so long ago and though he had left behind in the darkest reaches of his mind. THE blond that was the love of his life before she was snatched away from him by a mad man in a goblin suit and taken from the world of the living forever. Because of him. Because of who he was.

He felt like hyperventilating but controlled himself at the last second, finally exhaling a name he thought would never again grace his lips.

"Gwen?"

Of course it was not Gwen and he knew it. She would never, EVER, end up down here. Never in a million years. But the image of Charlotte was frighteningly similar to that of his dead lover. Almost as if she was her reincarnation here in hell. Suddenly the memory of her takes him back. He was no longer a sinner demon or a bloodthirsty vigilante or a grief stricken superhero. No, suddenly he was back to being a 8 year old boy who loved to play with the girl next door, who also liked science and geek stuff like DnD and sci-fi. The girl who would protect him in school from the bullies. The girl who stuck with him through high school. The girl he told his secret to. The girl who loved him for who he was. The girl he gave himself to, mind, body and soul. The love of his life.

His second biggest mistake.

For once in his ten long lasting years in hell, he does not feel like the bitter ball of angst and self loathing he has felt like ever since his arrival. He no longer feels like Kaine the demon wolf spider. He feels like Peter Parker. Nerdy boy turned radioactive spider-superhero. A boy in love, a boy that made mistakes. A man that rose above his mistakes to become a better version of himself. A man Gwen and Uncle Ben would be proud of.

He is shaken back into reality when a stinging pain comes from his hands. He looks down to see them closed into fists, his claws digging past his fur, into his flesh almost all the way through the bone, crimson blood dripping into the dirty path.

He releases a breath he did not know he was holding and closely unclutches his hands. He watches with heavy eyes how the wounds begin to heal in seconds, sucking the blood right back into his body.

He is back to being Kaine. He hates it.

The jingle of the news snaps him out of his brooding, making his eyes snap open towards the screen, his full attention in expectation of what is to come. Before it was just curiosity. Now it is morbid attention. He has to see more of the princess of hell. He NEEDS to.

He has to go back to being Peter Parker, if only for a few more seconds.

The jingle on the tv ends and the news are back revealing...an empty seat. But only for half a millisecond as Katie Killjoy whiplashes her way into her seat, literally breaking her neck in the process.

"Welcome back!" she yells as she sets her neck back into place. The frame widens and there she is. Seated right next to Katie in a somewhat shy and closed up posture. Next to Katie she looks so small and harmless, like a scared little puppy that does not know where to look. He feels a sudden urge to protect her and comfort her. Something he has not felt in a long time now.

Off to a good start.

"So, Charlotte," Katie starts.

"It's Charlie" she all but squeaks. God, even their voices are somewhat similar. Melodious and captivating but determined and stubborn, though from how she is speaking right now you would not guess that.

"Whatever" Katie cuts as she then begins to escalate in her speech.

"Tell us about this new passion project you've been insistently pestering our news station about!"

She is not even trying to hide her anger now. It would be funny to him if Kaine hadn't been so focused on the unsure look on Charlotte...Charlie's face. Another thing she shared with Gwen. she was even biting her lip the same way, really?! What the fuck!

"Well…" Charlie looks beyond the camera with rising nervousness as the camera focuses slightly on her. Her gaze moves from left to right, most likely scanning the crowd in the studio behind the camera crew. Her eyes settle, however, on something or someone and then she takes a small breath, in and out, and then begins to speak.

"As most of you know, I was born here in Hell, and growing up, I always tried to see the good in everything around me.

Hell is my home"- a sudden streak of some red liquid, he assumes is blood, splashes right on Charlie's face making her, and Kaine, flinch in reaction. The frame widens to see Katie Killjoy mercilessly killing some worm thing with her pen and a psychotic smile.

It does little to deter Charlie, who is on a roll now, as she simply cleans the smear on her face with her hand and continues with her speech.

And you are my people."

Her words strike deep in Kaine's mind. He can feel the sincerity in them. And while he can't be 100% certain, he can see the honesty in her eyes. She means what she says.

She continues nervously.

"We- we just went through another extermination." her eyes scan the beyond once again, her eyes settling to the source of her confidence within the crowd. There is definitely someone there who gives Charlie confidence. Kaine wonders just who could that be. Who could possibly inspire a demon such as her, hundreds of years old and daughter to the most powerful demon on hell?

She is looking at the camera now, a newfound strength in her gaze. That look did things to Kaine. It was THE LOOK. The look Gwen used to have whenever she made her mind about something.

He can't help the smirk on his face. The nostalgia made him feel better already.

"We lost so many souls, and it breaks my heart to see my people being slaughtered every year. No one is even given a chance!" The confidence in her voice began to escalate along her body movement as she finished her sentence while half-rising from her seat and slamming her fist on the table, awakening a previously sleepy Katie. If he weren't so focused on Charlie, he would have been downright pissed at that red eyed bitch.

But his eyes are fixed on Charlie. All eight of them.

"I can't stand idly by while the place I live is subjected to such violence!" As she says this, she has progressed from just sitting down, to standing up, to approaching the camera, and supposedly the crowd behind it. Her movements were strong and decisive. The camera follows her and he can see her among a multicolored crowd of demons of all shapes and sizes, kind of like him right now on the street, watching her in the studio.

"So, I've been thinking. Isn't there a more humane way to hinder overpopulation here in Hell?"

She speaks and moves. Weaving through the crowd confidently and almost relaxed. Fluid like water.

"Perhaps we can create an alternative way to change souls through… redemption?"

What?

"Well I think yes. So that's what this project aims to achieve!" she moves away from the crowd and makes her way, marching really, back to Katie the camera following all the way.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm opening the first of its kind! A hotel that rehabilitates sinners!"

WHAT.

His brain is pulled from the nostalgic haze it was in, the moment those words escaped her lips and rached his non-existent ears. It pulled him back to reality, making him extra aware of the small crowd around him and how there was an unsettling presence right next to him, a wide breadth of space given by the crowd who dared not approach the tall figure at his side. His spider sense came to life, blaring in his head like a car alarm. Not loud enough so that he is in immediate trouble but present enough to tell him 'hey buddy, watch out. Something bad is near you'.

In any other situation, he would have listened to his spidey sense. Rarely does it lead him astray. But as of right now he can't tear away his eyes from the screen, still processing the words he has heard.

Redemption?

Rehabilitation for sinners?

Such alien words to him. Not once has he heard those words from anybody while here in hell. Those words are almost taboo because despite the general chaos of this shithole, everyone is painfully aware of the fact this place is it. Their punishment. They all know exactly why they are here and while they might argue and bitch saying that "they don't deserve to be here" they eventually cómo face to face with the fact that there is no escaping this. At least, sinners know this. Hellbourne demons get more leeway on that as, if they have the means, they can even enter the human world to fuck shit up. His previous experiences with the supernatural as spider-man and the whole drama that was I.M.P taught him that much. But sinners really have no say in the matter. Once here, they are stuck here. Nothing, on this end of the afterlife, can save them from damnation, be they ordinary demon sinners or even overlords.

There was no escape to the righteous judgement for their sins.

He knows this. He made peace with this.

But here comes this girl, this princess, saying all the wrong things for the right reasons, saying insane things like redemption as if it was the easiest thing in the fucking world.

It made him angry. It made him furious. But surprisingly not at her. At this point, he wonders if he is being brainwashed because of how much leeway she is giving this one girl. He is not this forgiving anymore!

But if there is someone who might know better than him, than all of them, about the machinations of the afterlifes and the transfiguration of the damned soul, it would be the daughter of the oldest being in the cosmos, right? The daughter of a fallen angel. Surely she would know better than him about these things, right? Surely she has a plan of action for this hotel of hers?

The supernatural was never his strong suit. He didn't even believe in the devil, hell or afterlifes before even meeting Mephisto or Jhonny Blaze.

So what would he know?

He now realizes something. Everything is unusually quiet. He pulls back from his thoughts and realizes that Charlie is also aware of this, as the confidence she once displayed slowly deflates like a punctured balloon, filling again with shyness and embarrassment in reaction to the awkward silence surrounding her.

This was not the reaction she expected it seems.

"Y'know? 'Cause hotels are for people passing through… temporarily...Yay" she is back to a nervous wreck. Squeaking weakly her words out like a tiny mouse.

The silence prevails but to Kaine and his enhanced hearing, there is never a quiet moment. He can hear somewhere in the distance, among music and silence the booming laughter of a gruff voice, in disbelief to the words of the princess, saying that "she's nuts".

More voices begin to join in around him with that remark but he pushes them aside. That was the reaction he expected.

But there is more to hear from the tv. He doubted others could hear it, but Kaine could hear a remark from the camera man, scoffing a "stupid bitch" right at Charlie.

Which was immediately followed by the sound of something hard hitting flesh and a yelp of pain. Someone didn't take too kindly to that insult either. It made the most sense to assume that it must be the someone that accompanied Charlie to her interview. The one who gives her confidence.

He likes them already.

Charlie sighs sadly. "Look, every single one of you has something good deep down inside. I know you do."

I doubt it, Kaine thinks with a hint of sadness.

Charlie leaned into her hand with eyes lidded with sadness. But suddenly they spring right open in sudden realization, followed right up by a confident and self assured smirk.

"Maybe I'm not getting through to you."

Kaine swears he hears a "oh no" from another voice coming from the tv. A femenine voice. It confuses you, what could she be worried about.

Charlie snaps her fingers and the screen goes black, startling him for a second. The light returns and Charlie is posing, a top of a piano that came out of nowhere, throwing glitter and confetti in the air, while two small goat demons come together for her, one manning the piano and the other bello it, awaiting instructions.

Oh.

Oh no.

She is going to sing, isn't it?

Say what you will about hell, but one thing Kaine never expected out of the place of eternal damnation was musical numbers. The most eccentric of demons loved to do them, loved to force others to hear them.

A certain quirky and eccentric imp and a tall, owl king come to his mind.

And he has to say, he is not a fan. Mainly because most of the time he is forced to listen or, even worse, forced to participate in them.

So he can't really help the wince that comes into his face.

Ignoring completely his spider sense and the tall figure beside him and the way his face, and shadow, twitch and twist in curiosity regarding that very same image.

Charlie then begins to sing. Her voice is just what he expected it to sound in song. Beautiful and enamoring. But the lyrics caught his attention even more.

A dream of a hotel, for a specific clientele.

The music begins slow with the initial verses, but as she rises her voice, the music builds up.

And then the real shit is fast, the music is strong, her voice begins to hold cheer and excitement, just like the tone of the piano, singing about demons and rainbows and how murdering serial killers are actually cupcake loving children deep inside them.

The music became loud enough to cause slight discomfort to his senses but he pushed on. The music was catchy and fun. He could actually feel his foot tapping to the rhythm, that traitor.

She went on and on about her cause, her goal: the Happy Hotel.

A very cheesy and childish name.

Her lyrics become more fast paced. Going through all of her targeted clientele. A very big list, going from Creepers, didn't know that one, to fuck-ups,what does that even mean, from crooks to zeroes, ok what?, whatever that meant.

She even said something about downfallen superhéroes that made his heart leap to his mouth in shock, but then dismissed it immediately after when he realized how inconsistent the lyrics of her song were. She probably only added that to make the rhyme work. Besides himself, he has yet to see any other fallen former superhero like himself. He had heard that punisher finally bit the dust sometime before he did. He never cared then and he didn't care now, even with the possibility of encountering him here. But he was anything but a downfallen superhero. He was a straight up maniac killer.

Which was ironic considering his last actions as spider man were very similar to his earlier work. But Kaine had standards. Better than his at least.

Charlie continues her little musical number, pulling out impossible acts as the camera follows her and the music becomes more and more lively. He supposes she really is a powerful demon. Nothing short of slight reality manipulation can explain how each shot of her is in a new area, with a new sinner in tow describing in tone with her lyrics, the kind of sinner she wants to rehabilitate.

And all of this is live.

Cretins, sluts, losers, sexual deviants, boozers, prescription drug abusers; are those actually here in hell? He has seen those here, sure, but he just suspected one turned out that way after coming to hell. With time and exposure, every soul here could turn out that way.

Those where definitely bad deeds, but he thought hell was reserved for only the worse and horrible shit like murder, torture, abuse, betrayal, you know? The actual shit that got someone in hell. As far as sins are concerned, he thought those were pretty minor to be actually considered sins. Sexual deviant might make the list though, fuck those guys.

The images move fast, but with his senses he can see one that catches his eyes. One of Charlie jamming a gigantic needle from a syringe into what he can only assume is a patient in her makeshift hotel. A syringe filled with what he can only describe as "goodness juice". The demon's eyes fill with the liquid as he squirms in pain. Then he gives the biggest most wide smile, while also crying.

Jesus.

Just what did this redemption process entail? Is she forcing it on her is fucked up if that is the case.

There was also a scene in which he peeked behind the picture of the princess. It was fast, he almost missed it, when she said "Right here in Hell, at the Happy Hotel!". Her form changed for a millisecond. Gone was the sweet, beautiful princess. In her place there was a red eyed, horned, razor sharp smile, fire controlling demoness.

It was honest to god horrifying.

His spider sense flared loudly and he was miles away.

She was more dangerous than she let on.

The music was slowing down now, and so were the lyrics. She sang about no more fires and no more screams, which was good, and about dog kisses, and cotton candy dreams and "puffy-wuffy" clouds, which was...also good?

She then sang about the vices and how they would "end right here". She pulled no punches, and in any other context it would have been savage burns. cartoon porn addictions, vegan rants,psychic predictions, even ancient Roman crucifixions. He had yet to see that last one. Small blessing he supposed.

And then she goes on about how all the monsters, thieves, crazies, cannibals, crying babies, frothing mouthers full of rabies (?) should fill with cheer!

Honestly, she has to be making this shit as she goes along, which is not only slightly annoying but also impressive on it's own right. That shit is hard!

The music it's reaching its end now, and Kaine can't say if he is disappointed or relieved. He is going with relief for now. The music ends and the princess of hell couldn't look happier. She really enjoyed that huh? The insanity of that entire musical left him with plenty to think, but at the very least he could appreciate the happiness of her expression

Charlie is panting but still has that killer smile on her face. But there is only silence.

"Wow! That was shit!"

And with that the city exploded with laughter. Kaine actually recoiled as he felt his hearing overload as demons everywhere, from the tv or just around him in general, began to crackle in laughter, making him wince in pain. By his side, the tall figure is also laughing, and static fizzles in with each HA, mockingly but also genuinely entertained.

That went about as well as he expected. That song was both nonsense and rubbish.

But kaine can't help but feel terrible at the look on Charlie's face. It was as if all the hopes and dreams of hers were crushed on the spot, which they kind of were. It made his stomach churl in discomfort. There she goes again, reminding him of Gwen at every turn. It was almost unfair.

Katie Killjoy, who had remained mostly ignored by him all this time, was the main source of the laughter. It was crazed and maddengly annoying, like a when someone claws through a board creating a screeching noise.

His hearing can't handle her right now.

"What in the nine circles makes you think a single denizen of Hell would give two shits about becoming a better person?

You have no proof that this little experiment even works!

You want people to be good just… because?"

The laughter continues as Katie continues to make holes into Charlie's plan who, for her part, has closed herself off bitterly from all the mocking and insulting.

But as much as he hates to admit it right now, he can not deny that every single one of Katies points made actual sense. This whole redemption process was kind of shady to begin with, but these are totally fair and good questions. Just how does Charlie plan to change something so fundamentally evil? Can she redeem demons like Katie, who take disgusting joy in the misery of others?

Again all fair questions he would like answered.

But Charlie did not remain quiet. A fire was in her eyes, one born out of anger and outrage. She was not going to let things end this way.

"Well, we have a patron already who believes in our cause, and he's shown incredible progress!"

Real shit? Wow. he honestly did not expect that. His eight eyes widened in surprise at this. Was there an actual soul in hell that not only believed in redemption, but also believed themselves worthy of it? Now this, he had to know. Who was this patron?

"Oh? And who might that be?"

"Oh, just someone named… Angel Dust." Charlie says, looking smug and proud.

The porn star?!

"The porn star?" Tom asks with clear interest for the first time since the beginning of the interview.

Also, jinx.

"You fucking would, Tom." Katie growls as she scratches the table to look at him with that disgusting smile of hers. Her partner can only look away in awkwardness.

But seriously, Angel Dust? Out of everyone in hell, it was Angel Dust the one that wanted to be redeemed?

His experience with said porn star was actually quite the funny experience. Just not for him. Kaine would have never guessed that the very feminine and slender spider demon was actually a man, and it took him a while to figure that out which made all the previous watching of him all the more embarrassing.

Not once, during his life as peter parker and spider man did he ever doubt his sexuality. Angel Dust nearly changed that first month in hell.

An experience he would rather forget.

While he has his inner monologue, Katie continues her barrage.

"In any case, that's not even an accomplishment. I'm sure you can get that hooker to do anything with enough booger sugar and lube."

"Oh, I beg to differ" Charlie retorts immediately, not losing her beat. "He's been behaved, clean, and out of trouble for 2 weeks now."

Real shit?

Breaking news!

Maybe not.

Katie taps the earpiece on her right ear, listens in and then sprouts such an ugly smile he can't help but worry for charlie. His worries are immediately founded when Kaite shoves Charlie out of the focus of the camera, rather roughly.

"We are receiving word that a new player has entered the ongoing turf war! Let's go to the live feed!"

And that they did, and would you look at that. None other than Mr Angel Dust himself, partaking in all the destruction and mayhem like it was his drug. He was enjoying himself, that much was clear to him. Not exactly the image of someone who wanted to redeem themselves. A pit of disappointment fell down his body.

He should have known better.

And so should Charlie, as she looks at the live feed with an almost heartbroken expression. Muttering a small but still very much audible, "Oh shit".

And we all know Katie went all over that shit with a sadistic glee.

"Oh shit indeed! It looks like the one who just joined the battle is none other than-[insert dramatic gasp] porn actor Angel Dust!

What a juicy coincidence!

You must feel really stupid right now."

Katie and Tom laugh together condescendingly while singing in an over the top voice: "RATINGS!"

Charlie is panicking now. She is trying desperately to cover up the live feed but she goes right through it. She can't stop the mocking laughs, she can't stop the feed, she can't stop this mess of an interview; she is utterly and completely, helpless.

Kaine can't help but empathize with her. Because if there is someone who could have a mayor on desperation and hopelessness, is Peter Parker Right here. Not that he could do something about that now, but at least he is not one of the assholes berating her and insulting her dream, regardless of how silly he actually thinks it is.

And, as usual by now, Katie Killjoy lives up to her name by twisting and salting the wound even further.

"Well, it sure looks like your little project is dead on arrival. Tell us, how does it feel to be such a total failure?" she says as her glowing red eyes glance towards the cowering princess in a mocking manner

And then come the laughs again, which makes him wince, AGAIN. Enhanced senses are such a pain in the ass, he does not know how Matt dealt with them.

But even through the laughs, the mockery, the insults, Charlie is still not done. He can see it in her eyes and he has to actually hold himself back from running his hand through the glass as if he was some love stricken teen. That look was that of absolute determination. Anger too.

"Yeah? Well- how does it feel that I got your pen, huh?

Bitch?!"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

That's, right! What are you going to do about it you cum covered, bug eyed bitch?!

Now he wishes he was there. He is very glad he came to pentagram city. No way he could not, NOT meet this princess in person. He just had to now.

The laughter ends as Katie looked like he just received a slap to the face. Tom does not even try to hide his own panic and he simply runs away like a little bitch.

Katie on the other hand, didt take her words quietly. Kaine watched as the form and shape of Katie Killjoy shifted and morphed into a bigger, uglier and more deadly version of herself. Her true demon form. Every demon in hell had that form, where everything was more deadly and powerful.

Waiting no time, Katie leapd at Charlie who could only respond by leaping back.

That is where the chaos really began. The studio became a battlefield. Fireballs and pincers flying at each other in reckless abandon. Other demons joined in in the chaos, attacking each other as if all logic had jumped out the metaphorical window. And not just at the station, for Kaine could hear the action and violence escalating all the way on the west side, where the three demons Angel Dust, Cherri Bomb and Mr Steve Buscemi reached a whole new level of turf war, the explosions and impacts of their battle being audible even to ordinary demons, making it even a bigger pain for his hearing.

It was all too much.

The yelling, fighting and cursing. It was overloading his senses. He had to clutch both of his hands to the side of his head tightly just to drown it down, making the demons around him give him odd looks.

"Stop" Kaine whispered in pain, as everything began to escalate. The yelling became lauder as Tom Trench was on fire, charlie was on some form of tug war against Katie, both yelling to the top of their lungs, just as Angel, Cherri and Snake boy charged at each other at full speed, also yelling to the top of their lungs.

It was at this moment that Kaine lost it. Red lighting began to emanate from the palm of his right hand as his body began to shake in anger and pain.

That is it!

"Shut up...shut up!...SHUT UP!" not taking it anymore, Kaine threw his lighting infused fist right towards the glass containing all of the tvs, all which had a close up to the screaming faces of all the previously mentioned demons.

What happened next was too fast for the demons to register in their minds.

First, his clawed fist made contact with the glass.

And then the entire building fucking exploded, a shockwave sending most of the demons near him back flying and stumbling through the sidewalk and into the road. Glass was also flying everywhere and what was once a tv display became nothing more than a pile of debris as the entire 4 story building came crashing down on it.

Stray red electricity still emanated from what remained as smoke began to rise into the crimson sky. Kaine was panting in anger while his hand, still electrified, began to clench and release repeatedly.

A few calming breaths later and Kaine began to look around to see the fruits of his frustration. The yelling hat stopped but instead he was now surrounded by a pile of pebbles that used to be an entire building and a small crowd of demons, lying unconscious on the floor of the road.

"Fuck" he whispers at seeing his work, his hand finally relaxing, the lighting disappearing from sight. He really should control himself better. Or get a better hang of his senses.

If Daredevil could do it then you can bet your bottom dollar that Spider-Man can do it too.

SPIDER SENSE!

All his hairs stood up as he felt himself rooted on the spot. His spider sense hasn't been this loud for quite a long time now, and kaine regretted not listening to it during Charlie's disaster of an interview. There was someone or something behind him that could seriously mess him up. The silence got filled with the sound of static as footsteps became closer and closer to himself.

His spider sense got louder by the second. Whoever this was, they were big time shit. He lowered himself without turning around, this time, with both his hands channeling the crimson lightning in anticipation.

"Well that is one fine how-do-you-do!" an announcer-static like voice broke through the tension like a knife, making his spider sense die out like it was never even there.

"How about you drop the little hand show over there and come say hi! It is the polite thing to do, when someone is trying to introduce themselves, you know?" the voice was cheerful, unnaturally so. Even though his words ended in a questioning tone, Kaine knew it was not a request. Things will go badly if he does not follow along, and having just arrived here he is in no mood to get into a real fight so quickly.

So he did as he was told, albeit with extreme caution and attention to his spider sense for any developments, ready to spring into action the moment, the second, he needed to. Slowly, but not too slowly as to be annoying, kaine came face to face with a tall figure.

Almost 7 feet tall, the demon in front of him seemed to bend the very fabric of space with his presence alone, as the area surrounding his figure was slightly bent and twisted with a slight red aura. He is quite slim, morbidly so actually, making him look quite creepy when combined with his height. Ha has stoney grey skin, and sharp yellow teeth exposed due to the smile that seemed too wide for Kaine's liking. He sports a short red angled bob cut with black cowlicks extending from the top of his head, resembling deer ears, and two small black antlers which pass for horns.

His eyes have red scleras, bright red irises, black pupils, all of which seemed to glow and lighting up his face a crimson red, aall while wearing a black oval-shaped monocle over his right eye.

He wears a dark red pinstripe coat which is slightly ragged along the bottom, a bright red dress shirt with a black cross on the chest underneath and long burgundy dress pants with matching bright red cuffs. To top it all off he also wears a red-knotted bow tie, burgundy gloves, and black pointed-toe boots. To complete the whole picture, the man had a thin cane on his right hand resembling a microphone at the top.

Such an over the top apparel, with such a sinister aura. This could only be an overlord, Kaine thought, cursing under his breath

And not just any overlord, he thinks with clenched fists, i just had to be the lucky bastard to encounter the fucking radio demon on my very first day on this city. Typical parker luck! Fucking me over even in hell!

Unaware of his own thoughts, the radio demon, Alastor as he had heard his name was, smiled even wider at his reaction, making a chill go down his spine and his palms to sweat. He didn't know if he could take him on. He could try, but he was not itching to test his shitty luck.

"By your reaction, I can tell no introductions are needed on my part. Good! This will make our little walk short."

"Walk?" kaine asks in disbelief.

"More of a walk and talk. There is a place i just HAVE to be right now, but i just can't squander the chance to talk to you!"

"And why would you want to talk to a complete stranger, a nobody for all you know, when you have somewhere more important to be right now? Does seem awfully strange, even for the infamous radio demon." Kaine says while crossing his arms in a skeptical fashion. All of this smells funny to him. Not to mention the actual, subtle smells of blood emanating from the radio demon.

He had always heard the rumors, but he actually wanted to sleep somewhat peacefully during the nights, so he mostly ignored them.

At his words, Alastor narrows his eyes at him, his smile ever present, never changing. His spider sense is still silent, but kaine does not feel reassured.

"Come now my dear boy. Don't insult my intelligence. You are the farthest thing in hell from a nobody. I dare say, you are more of a somebody than most of the entire population of this god-forsaken city! Demons don't hold a candle next to you, and what you are…" his voice dropped an octave at those last words, making him feel even more like a deer in the headlights.

"And what exactly am I then" Kaine almost whispers, his hands clutching nervously at the side of his arms, not liking where the conversation was heading.

"Why, you are the Angel Slayer, aren't you?"

The look on his face was all the proof alastor needed.

"OH what a perfect day this is! First that quality picture show and now this! Oh, I am so glad I came for a walk today! Surely, Lady luck is looking down on me with a smile, wouldn't you say?"

Alastor laughed some more, making his distorted laugh the only sound he could focus on.

He knew who he was.

What else did he know?

Did he know about his previous life?

Did he know about Mephisto?

This was not good. The last thing he needed was the sights of ANOTHER overlord on him.

"So, Slayer…

He was walking towards him now, putting Kaine on the defensive, his arms at his side, ready for any kind of funny business this monster might pull out of his ass.

Alastor stops, right into his personal bubble, looking down on him with that Joker smile and his glowing red eyes, that now looked more like a mixture of slits and radio dials. Strange symbols began to sprout all around him and the static was now louder than ever.

His spider sense was silent.

why don't we go for a walk?" His very demonic and distorted voice made him shiver and Kaine knew that it was not a request.

So...fight or flight? What is it going to be?

…

"Fuck".

And that is it for now. Sorry for the cliffhanger, but if i don't stop now, this chapter could easily be almost 70 pages long, and as much fun as i am having with this, i have to give myself a break. For the entire week up to today I have been working on this chapter, just so that I could post it today and as soon as possible.

Which reminds me, updates to my stories from now on will come every friday or every sunday. I think it is for the best now since my life is in a somewhat relative order and my writer's block is not as bad as it has been for a while.

Anyway, depending on how well this is received I might leave it with just this chapter for now, but in my spare time and every day I will work on this, and on my other story, so that every friday you guys can have at least one new chapter from either my other two fics.

Anyway, tell me what you guys think of this insane crossover! Do you love it? Hate it? Have some constructive criticism? Anything you guys ask, I will try my best to answer, though I can't promise I will respond back to all comments. I am only human after all. Anyway, you guys stay safe, follow the standard quarantine protocols, wash your hands, wear the face masks,

And most of all,

Stay frosty!