You've done it. You've done what other men (and several women) could only dream of. You've managed to escape hell with your ensemble of demon girls (plus one curious angel).

To be completely honest with yourself, you really should have seen this coming. Who could have possibly foreseen that taking on a harem of demon girls (plus one curious angel) under your roof would drain you mentally, physically, and financially?

Seems like Anime glossed over how feeding thirteen mouths puts a strain on your wallet.

With the rest of the demon girls (plus one curious angel) asleep upstairs, you're given a brief moment of respite. You decide that the best use of your limited time is to watch some television. With the queen of pestilence beside you.

"…"

Clearly, to find all this normal, your parents must have raised you in a questionable matter.

"You mortals are quite perplexing."

Beelzebub drags you out of your thoughts. "I don't understand. Is this really what passes for 'education' in the eyes of your young?"

"It's a children's show." You reply patiently. "This isn't meant to 'educate'. It's supposed to capture and ensnare their attention."

And as such, the television is blaring softly in the middle of the night. Sounds of cartoon cruelty ring out.

"Oh, such savagery! No, wait! I've heard of this before! This is conditioning, is it not? This must be to train your young to be familiarised in the ways of cruelty and torture!" She exclaims from the portal.

She sighs and shakes her head. "Shame that it isn't an accurate depiction. I've tried bending spines that far, and believe me, they break long, long, long before than what I'm seeing here."

You fight to keep your face straight. "It's just to entertain them. We humans rather enjoy our peace."

She turns to give you a flat look.

"You say that, and yet you mortals seem all too willing to wage wars with one other."

You shrug in response. "We just like making others learn our peaceful ways; by force if necessary."

She harrumphs in response. "Still, I'm not convinced this isn't just preparing the young for a life of violence."

You blink. "You're not wrong, but no, this isn't conditioning either."

"Then what could it possibly be for?" She huffs out.

"Well, when the children are busy, what do you think the parents do?"

She opens her mouth to respond. She raises a finger, then slooowwly lowers it again after some thought.

"Ingenious."

"Mm-hmm." You absently nod. "Also, you might want to leave now."

She sniffs. "Why? Have you grown tired of my magnificent presence? Has my beauty finally pushed you to your limits? Is that it?"

"No, it's just that I can hear Lucifer coming down the stairs."

"-eep!"

And with a hiss of flames, the portal closes in on itself.

You chuckle and adjust the volume.

As Lucifer makes her way down stairs, she gives you a questioning glare.

"What are you doing?"

"Watching the telly."

"Alone?"

You make a noise that encompasses your entire being.

She gives a narrowed glance at the space where the portal was just a minute ago. Shrugging, she turns back to you.

Peering from behind, she blinks in surprise.

"Oh, is this torture porn? I admit, it's quite unrealistic to have ones' body contort like that, but I can see how you would want to simplify it for the children sake-"

You sigh.

-0-

I own nothing. All charcter are property of Łukasz Piskorz. Just to let you know, it is Tom and Jerry. It's quite violent if you think about it.