Hello! I really wanted to take a break from writing but this story has been gnawing at my insides. It is a smutfic. Easy, breezy, simple smutfic. Will there be plot? I think so, but I am 3.5 chapters into writing and I am yet to properly establish it. Will there be lots of sex? For sure. Is it time for warnings? Okay. Sex. There you go, that's your warning. Also language, obviously. Also, when I say "sex" I don't mean sweet, lovely, vanilla sex. If that's what you're looking for, this may not be the story for you. Also, if you're under 18, I can't stop you from reading this, but if your parents find this and give you a lecture about porn, that's not on me.

I promise to try and give you some delicious, toe-curling, bed-breaking smut, and I will weave a plot into this, not to worry.

Also, this chapter opens in the exact same way as possibly a 100 other fics I've read. I apologise for the cliche. Hope you love it!

(Quickly before I forget, I do not own Fairy Tail yada yada yada Laxus would never wear a shirt if I did)

xXx

"Guys, I have something to tell you," Levy hiccuped slightly, her face flushed from the copious amounts of alcohol they'd been drinking.

"Wait! I want to be there to hear this! Shut up!" Cana shouted from Lucy's kitchen, hurriedly mixing another pitcher of a fruity cocktail. She ran back to the bedroom, refilling everyone's glass.

Earlier that afternoon, Lucy had invited Erza, Levy, and Cana to her house for a little bit of a girl's night. Cana offered to bartend, and Levy promised several bags of chips. Erza, of course, brought multiple boxes of strawberries. Now, the four wizards were lounging on Lucy's bedroom floor in tank tops and their underwear.

"We are the poster for every teenage boy's wet dream," Erza huffed, but when Cana made her choose between long, stuffy pants in the balmy summer air, or her soft, airy underwear, the redhead saw reason.

The girls were already multiple glasses of vodka crans in when Levy had made her announcement. Cana rapidly sat down, turning to face the script mage.

"Okay, you can start," she nodded.

"So…" Levy violently hiccuped, spilling some of her drink, "Sorry, Luce- Yeah, um… Gajeel and I slept together last night." Her face burned a bright red, and it certainly wasn't a result of the alcohol.

The room erupted in shocked gasps.

"Fuck! Get it, Levy!" Cana cheered.

"So how was it?" a drunk Erza wagged her eyebrows suggestively. "How many times did he.. You know… make you…" she trailed off with a giggle.

"And more importantly, how big was he?" Lucy had just about finished picking her jaw up off the floor.

Levy hid her face in her palms. "Seven," she mumbled.

"Uh, what was that, honey? We didn't quite hear you," Cana teased.

Levy threw her head back in frustration. "Gajeel made me cum seven times and it was amazing and I still can't feel parts of my vagina," she groaned. Before the others could react to what she said, she tacked on "And he's really big. I thought he'd split me in half," she smiled bashfully.

The room was deathly silent. And then Cana whispered, "holy fuck."

Lucy mock fainted, leaning back against her bed for support, while Erza violently fanned herself with her hand.

"Guys, stop!" Levy pleaded. "It's not a big deal!"

Lucy stared at her in bafflement. "You've had a crush on this guy for how long now? And you finally screw him. That's a huge deal, Levy!" Lucy threw her arms around her friend before settling back and taking a long sip of her drink.

As if Levy wasn't embarrassed enough, Cana decided to add insult to injury. "Speaking of huge…" she crawled forward, bending so that her face was level with Levy's crotch, "How are you doing after the huge event, little Levy?" she spoke towards Levy's groin. The script mage smacked Cana's head as she squeezed her legs shut.

"Quit talking to my vagina!" she complained.

"Erza, you've been awfully quiet," Lucy noted.

Erza was also blushing furiously. She fiddled with her hands, before grabbing her drink, downing it in one gulp.

"Uh, Erza… That was a pretty stiff drink. Maybe downing it wasn't the best idea?" Cana asked, a little shocked.

"It matters not. It has been done," Erza took in a deep breath. "I have to tell you guys something too. Jellal." She stopped there.

"What about Jellal?" Levy probed.

"Well, I have feelings for him. Of the romantic kind. And I recently discovered he has feelings for me too." Erza was staunchly making eye contact with the door.

"Did he tell you?" Lucy asked.

"He kissed me," Erza confessed.

"You kissed Jellal?! That's amazing, Erza!" Lucy beamed.

"No, there's more. He also… He went down…" Erza couldn't bring herself to say it, so Cana stepped in.

"He ate you out?! He went to town on the taco?! He muffmunched?!" Cana's voice got progressively more shrill.

"Please stop with the euphemisms, Cana," Erza pleaded embarrassedly. "But yes, I suppose he… muffmunched," she cringed as the word left her lips.

"And? We need more details, girl!" Lucy was seconds away from physically shaking the information out of Erza.

"It was really good," the redhead admitted. "I was so uncomfortable at first, because, you know… no one has ever done that before. But he was kind, and gentle, and he reassured me. And the pleasure… it was like none other," she finished dreamily.

"Damn, well, Cana looks like you and I are the only ones not getting laid," Lucy shrugged.

"Babe, I've been banging Bickslow for over three months." The card mage looked at Lucy with bemusement.

"What?!" Lucy yelled. "How is this the first I'm hearing about it?"

Erza and Levy, both equally confused, echoed Lucy's question.

"It's not like it's a secret, or anything. We're just not into PDA, and neither of us wanted to do some big announcement or anything. It's been pretty low-key," Cana said before registering the hurt looks on her friends faces. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier! I wasn't trying to hide it from you, I swear! To make up for it, I can tell you all the nasty details if you want!" she tried desperately to appease her friends.

"For some reason, I don't think I want to know just how kinky you and Bix get. No offence," Lucy held her hands up with a nervous smile.

"None taken," Cana waved her hand. "Our sex does get pretty extreme," she smirked seductively.

"That's just fucking great," Lucy sulked.

"...That I have wild sex?" Cana was confused.

"No, no. I'm the only one not having sex. Besides possibly Juvia. Though with my luck, who knows? Gray might be pounding her brains out as we speak," the blonde moped. "I miss sex!" she cried into her hands.

"Lucy, I thought you were a virgin…?" Levy asked hesitantly.

"Remember those two dates I went on with Hibiki? Before I decided it wasn't going to work? Yeah, the second date ended with me in his bed," Lucy mumbled, ashamed.

"Hey, Hibiki is a babe. At least you lost it to a sexy guy," Cana consoled.

"Why did you end it with him? Was he not able to pleasure you?" Erza enquired.

"After the novelty of his good looks faded, I realised he was kinda boring," Lucy admitted. "Plus, yes Erza, he sucked in bed. I was a virgin and even I could tell he was terrible! He had a pretty dick, but with no idea how to use it. I didn't cum even once," Lucy sighed, remembering her wasted night.

"You need to get laid, Luce," Levy giggled.

"Yes, by a man. Who knows how to properly take care of a woman," Erza added.

"Hey, you can totally fuck my dad," Cana offered, which was met with a unanimous "Huh?!"

"Yeah, why not? Sure, he's older, but given how much of a whore he is, he'll at least know what he's doing," Cana shrugged.

"Cana, I-" Lucy began.

"No pressure, Lucy. I'm not going to try and set you guys up. But I just wanted you to know, if you were to fuck him, I wouldn't have an issue with it. Hell, I'd rather it be you than some rando freak," she said reassuringly.

"Gildarts is an attractive man," Erza noted. While Lucy was a little shocked at the out-of-character confession from her otherwise reserved friend, she didn't doubt that the several glasses of vodka cran were currently working their magic.

"Yeah, he's so sexy. With his broad shoulders and yummy chest," Levy hiccuped once more before giggling.

Cana threw her hands over her ears. "Ew! Shut up! That's my dad! Bang him, I don't care, but don't sexualise him when I'm around!" she cried.

The other three burst out in laughter at her discomfort.

The next morning, the girls ate a leisurely breakfast as they nursed their hangovers, except for Cana who seemed immune to the splitting headaches. Planning to meet back in the guild for lunch, Lucy's three guests staggered out. Lucy padded her way to her bathroom, stripping off her clothes as she ran a bath. When the water was nice and warm, Lucy slipped in, thinking about last night's conversation. She really did need to get laid. She leaned her head back, closing her eyes, as her hands drifted to her breasts. She played with her nipples, tweaking them and tugging at them, before she let one hand drift lower, over her toned stomach, and past the neatly trimmed coarse blonde hair. She trailed her finger along her outer lips before circling her clit. Small shocks of pleasure began sparking within her, and she played with her clit in earnest. She brought her other hand to her entrance, dipping two fingers inside. She pumped her fingers in and out of her while circling her clit, but those small shocks never intensified. She groaned in desperation, urging her body to climax, but her fingers were simply unable to draw that sweet release out of her.

After several futile minutes, Lucy gave up with a huff. She hated how bored she'd become with masturbation, and she wanted her orgasm back.

"I just want to cum! Is that too much to ask, damn it?" Lucy grumbled, smacking the water in irritation. She finished her bath quickly, and forcefully pulled clothes out of her cupboard. She yanked them on, and stood in front of the mirror to observe herself. Mini skirt, crop top, thigh highs. Her usual.

"Not today," she growled, stripping once more. She eyed her cupboard. Spotting something hidden in the back, her face broke out into a smile.

She pulled the dress on, adjusting it, before giving herself a once over in the mirror. The virginal white fabric was in stark contrast to how ridiculously slutty this dress was. Lucy had bought it on a whim, and then decided it was not appropriate for the public eye. Until today.

The dress barely covered her round butt, and if she bent over even slightly, it would expose her matching white lace thong. The front of the dress plunged down to her belly button, exposing most of her breasts. It tied into a halter, leaving the majority of her back bare. In reality, the dress covered very little, and one small wrong move could leave her naked in public. The thought sent a perverse thrill through her. She slipped on a pair of white flats, and swiped some red lipstick across her lips. She looked at herself appreciatively.

"Lucy Heartfilia, you're gonna get laid," she spoke to her reflection, pointing a finger at herself.

She left her house, exuding confidence. She could feel every passerby gazing at her, but she decided that today, she didn't care. She was painfully aware of how mortified she'd feel later that night, but for now, she felt sexy.

As she walked into the guildhall, she saw several people do a double take. Gray's jaw audibly unhinged when she waved at him. Lucy spotted Cana at the bar, staring at her. Lucy skipped up to the card mage, sitting down next to her.

"Um, don't take this the wrong way, but what the fuck, Luce?"

The blonde's face fell momentarily. Cana quickly added to her previous question.
"No, I mean, you look hot as shit," Cana reassured, before continuing, "and if I was even the slightest bit bicurious, I'd have you over the bartop and rubbing my clit on yours in the next second, but what the fuck?" Lucy's cheeks burned at Cana's extremely sexual declaration, and Freed, who had overheard it, fainted from the shock.

"I just wanted to feel sexy, " Lucy said coquettishly.

"It's working, Luce," Cana took a swig of her beer. Just then Gray walked up to them.

"Uh, Lucy? Lucy Heartfilia?" he asked, rapping his knuckles gently against her forehead.

"Shut up, Gray," Lucy swatted his hand away.

"I don't know what you've done with my baby doll friend, but damn, Luce. What's the occasion?" He took a seat next to her.

"That's my cue, folks," Cana declared, hopping off the stool.

"I was feeling sexy," Lucy admitted shyly.

"Good on you, Luce," Gray said warmly. "You look amazing. Honestly. And if anyone even tries coming near you today, I will punch their teeth out," he solemnly vowed.

"Please don't, Gray! That's kind of the point…" Lucy mumbled the last bit.

"Huh? What point?" asked the confused ice mage.

Lucy looked around surreptitiously before bringing her lips close to his ear. "I need to get laid, okay?" she whispered hurriedly.

Gray sat back, a perplexed look crossing his face. "Why did you go through this effort? Couldn't you have just asked Natsu or I?"

Lucy cocked an eyebrow. "You're telling me you'll have sex with me if I ask? Okay. Gray, do you want to come back to my house and fuck me?"

Gray blanched. "I kind of want to say yes, because you look so ridiculously hot right now, and I am a little turned on, but also it would be very weird and I don't think I'd be able to go through with it. I'm sorry," his eyes were wide with terror.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. I can't bang you or Natsu. It would be way too incestous," Lucy stuck her tongue out in disgust.

Just then, Juvia appeared out of nowhere. "Did I just hear you proposition my darling, Gray, you harlot?" she glared menacingly at Lucy.

"Juvia! Don't be rude to Luce," Gray chastised.

"Gray, my love, don't fall for this temptress! Come with Juvia! Juvia will dress like a seductive kitty for you!" she squealed, dragging Gray away.

Gray looked over his shoulder. "Good luck, Lucy! And remember, say the word, and I'll punch some teeth out," he winked. Lucy waved half-heartedly as she saw her friend being pulled away.

Her eyes scanned the main floor, hoping to spot Cana or Erza. When her search came up empty, she turned back to the bar. Mira walked over to her.

"You look gorgeous, Lucy," Mira complimented. "Any reason?"

"Was in the mood," Lucy said offhandedly.

"Well, it's a good look! What can I get you?" she asked.

"Just a coffee for now, thank you!" Lucy knew she'd soon be moving on to something stronger if the questions about her appearance kept coming.

She sipped on the beverage, eyes fixed on a bottle behind the bar, when she felt a hand rest against her hip and a warm breath tickle her ear.

"Heard you're looking to get fucked," a deep, rich voice whispered in her ear.

She turned her head to see Laxus looming over her, a cocky smirk plastered across his face.

His stunning, gorgeous, sexy face, Lucy licked her lips unconsciously. She swallowed deeply, before fully registering what he said.

"Who told you that?" she hissed, swiveling her chair around to face him.

"You did, Blondie. When you were talking to Frosty."

Lucy must have looked confused, so Laxus elaborated. "Guild's quiet today. Not much sound to drown things out. On a day like today, I can hear even the softest whisper," Laxus breathed the last two words into her ear. Lucy felt her panties grow damp, and if she could feel it, then the Dragon Slayer sure as hell could smell it.

Rightly enough, Laxus inhaled deeply through his nose, his eyes darkening with lust.

"So, Blondie? What say? I don't like games, and you're the hottest thing I've laid my eyes on in ages, so if you want someone to fuck your brains out, meet me outside in one minute." Laxus turned on his heel and strode out through the guild doors.

Lucy felt her brain begin to overthink and she quickly shut it down. Before she gave herself a reason to chicken out, she hopped off the stool and marched determinedly towards the guild doors. Stepping outside, she saw Laxus leaning against the wall, a smug grin painting his features.

"That wasn't even 30 seconds, Blondie," he said, walking up to her. "Guess it would be rude to keep such an eager little vixen waiting any longer." He grabbed her around the waist, and Lucy felt a surge of magical energy swirl around her. Her skin sparked with electricity as Laxus teleported them to his house.

A/N: Yes, okay there wasn't really any smut in this chapter, but she's coming (wink wink nudge nudge).