Rise of chan clan, rise of Atauski

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

ANNOUNCEMENT!

I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!

SUMMARY:
On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!

The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.

...responses...

...III...

YOU INCOMPETENT FOOLS!

Valmont, leader of the Dark Hand syndicate simply stood by and watched as his men were berated by the demon statue...and lightly roasted...

Twice, his men has gone out to retrieve the Rooster talisman and TWICE they'd been foiled by Jackie Chan. And now they couldn't go for a third as the talisman was most likely safely hidden away in section 13!

"Well, you seem to be in quite the pickle. Aren't you?"

Suddenly the entire Dark Hand turned around to see a very normal looking businessman being shadowed by two men wearing long black robes and Japanese Kasa hats.

"Who are you? How did you get in here?"

"Why I'm the guy with the answer to your problem. As for how I got here...Trade secret, I'm afraid."

Shendu snorted, "Valmont remove these interlopers! We don't have time for this nonsense!"

"Well, do you have time for a magic trick?" Asked the man as the three enforcers rushed up to throw them out. "Watch me make these thugs disappear!"

Suddenly, the robed guy on the right whacked Finn out the window with a...tail!? At the same time the guy on the left slaps Ratso and Chow-

BOOM!

-immediately causing the two to explode into soupy, bloody chunks...

"Ta-dah! There gone!" Shouts the man in the middle enthusiastically.

Only then dose Valmont get a good look at the two large, hooded men...one was blonde and had...FANGED MOUTHS IN HIS HANDS!?

"Art is a blast!" Exclaimed Deidra.

"How will anyone ever appreciate your art if it doesn't last long enough for others to see it?" Snarked the the other 'man'(Who Valmont now saw was more like a giant wooden scorpion 'pretending' to be a man then anything else...) named Sasori.

Valmont blinked, but then regained his composure. "Who...who are you?"

"Among other things- I am an agent representing the organization known as Atauski...but even more importantly- holds up a device that's blinking -I'm the guy who put a tracker on the talisman and now knows where section 13 is..."

Valmont...again stunned...but quickly regains his composure once more. "I...I think we can do business." Said Valmont with a smile...

...

"In conclusion; although there were some issues. We successfully obtained the talisman and kept it from the dark hand's clutches. More importantly, thanks to an 'outside expert' we now know this talisman is one of a set of twelve and are most likely the dark hands next target."

Said Captain Black to the teleconference of his superiors as he reported the current situation. For obvious reasons he kept out Jackie's Uncle's talk of 'magic'...Black was a little confused why his usually very grounded friend seemed to be going along with it...but Black just assumed he was simply trying to be respectful to his elder...

"So if there's no further business-

BOOM!

The room shook violently and screams were heard outside. His superiors frantically asked for answers but Black simply ran out to see what was happening...

Meanwhile, Jackie and Jade were just getting settled in when they to were alerted by the screams and explosions. Jackie was about to order Jade to stay put while he went to check what was happening- Followed quickly by Jade disobeying of course...

When Suddenly the intercom began to spark and static...and begun to play music?

By the power of Akatuski!...
Black...White...Konan...Preta...
Kakuzu...Kisame...Sasori...Deidara...
Hidan...Naraka...Daibutsu...Kyusuke...
Yahiko...Deva...
Zetsu...Human...Kie...Itatchi...
Orochimaru...Nagato...
Akatuski...Black...White...Preta...
Kie...Itatchi...Hidan...Naraka...
Zetsu...Daibutsu...Sasori...Kyusuke...
Orochimaru...Nagato...Kakuzu...Kisame...Pein!...

Suddenly, the two found themselves in the dark...before a spotlight appeard on a man with no face...

So you think you've got strength in these high places
With the power to put us on the run

Asked Slenderman as he molded magic to shift back and forth from the form of a demonic smog monster...

Well, forgive us these smiles on our faces

Said the Eldritch abomination as he morphed into a giant theater mask webbed in shadow...

You'll know what power is when we are done
Son...

He said mockingly as they briefly appeared behind the startled Chans; only to vanish again

You're playing with the big boys now
Playing with the big boys now

"Oh, that's pretty." He Mocked with a chuckle.

Ev'ry spell and gesture
Tells you who's the best here,

You're Playing with the big boys now!

You're playing with the big boys now
You're playing with the big boys now
Stop this foolish mission!

He mocks as he causes a hovering picture of the talismans to burst into flames with a finger snap-

Watch a true magician!

He laughed as he played cards ironically-

Give an exhibition how!
Pick up your silly twig, boy

He said dismissively to bambo sword chan had picked up...only for it to burst into flames...

You're playing with the big boys now!

Akatsuki acolytes crawl from the wood work to add to the chorus

By the power of Akatsuki!

He grabs two staffs of power by the acolytes who then swing them around dramatically

Black, White, Konan, Preta
Sasori, Deidara, Hidan, Naraka
Yahiko, Deva
Kie, Itatchi, Human, Nagato...

He cracks them together in an amazing explosion!

You're playing with the big boys now!

The dust clears revealing him now holding writhing, eldritch beasts!

You're playing with the big boys now
By the might of force
You will kneel before us
Kneel to our splendorous power...

He throw the beasts at them, who quickly dodges-

You put up a front

He mocking pretends to box

You put up a fight

He mocks as he pretends to do Kung-fu

And just to show we feel no spite
You can be our acolyte!

But first, boy, it's time to bow
(Bow down!)

Suddenly; an irresistible force bears down on the Chan's making them fall to their knees-

Or it's your own grave you'll dig, boy

He sings while circling Dipper menacingly; their eyes alight with demonic fire-

You're playing with the big boys now
Playing with the big boys
Now!

(BOOM)

Deidra claps enthusiastically from the background as Slenderman bows dramatically...while the cans just sit on the ground stunned...

Sasori rolls his eyes, "Okay...THAT happened...look, we have the talisman AND we've trashed the place...can we PLEASE go now?"

Slenderman nods and vanishes in a puff of smoke...followed by the two shinobi vanishing as well...

In the remains of the once powerful military conclave...silence reigned...

Until...

"What the FRACK just happened?!" Swore Jade in terror!

Poor Jackie was too stunned to scold her...

...IIIā€¦...

TO BE CONTINUED?

AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!

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