A/N: Hello! So this is my first ATLA fiction and I just had to make it a Zutara story. I have been wanting to write a story of them for a while now and decided now was probably the best time (considering the whole in quarantine and nothing else to do situation). Anyways, I hope you enjoy it!
Katara grabbed her clothes and shoved them inside the bag. She has never been more thankful for her fast ability to pack. She guessed a year of living on the run has had its perks.
It had been a mistake. Why did she have to accept the invitation from the Fire Lord? To come back, even if it was for something as innocent as the Spirit's festival, felt like a sin to her. Regret and guilt gnawed their way inside of her. And when she was sitting with her friends, catching up on their after-the-war activities, she couldn't hold it anymore.
She thought she could take it, but the glances, touches, and smiles seemed to burn her. Her heart twisted in pain and hurt at the sight of the man she yearned for whispering secrets in the ear of someone else. Secrets that if once upon a time she would've been honest they would've been for her ears only.
The water bender excused herself from the room with the feeble excuse that she had an early morning. She knew that most of her friends could see right through her, and so she avoided eye contact with all of them as she made her way to her guest room.
Katara smushed the last piece of cloth inside the bag and made a double-check of the room to confirm she wasn't leaving anything behind. Her gaze landed on the soft pillow where a Water Tribe scroll laid.
She had been planing on denying Gran Gran's offer at first, and explain that she was not ready to take such a major responsibility. Truth was, she had a few expectations for how things might turn out, but, after watching the exchange of the happy couple, those expectations vanished. Maybe accepting the offer is what she was should've done all along.
"You know, I'm a having a strong case of dejá vù." Katara was startled by the soft voice behind her. Suki stood by the open door, a knowing look in her eyes.
"Do you really want to do this? Again?" Suki asked, her brows drawn together in worry. She couldn't blame her, she worried about her own life decisions all the time. She didn't want to do it again but she did. It was a strange feeling she couldn't quite put a finger down on.
"I have to. Sokka took another role -a more important role- so now the responsibility falls to me." Katara hung the bag across her back and reached for the scroll.
"That is not what I am talking about and you know that." Suki waited for her to say something back, but what was there to be said? Did she want to do it again?
"This is just like last time!" The warrior snapped, not being able to control her irritation, "Things get too emotionally personal for you and you hide. You run off and hide behind your 'responsibilities' without explaining yourself to anyone."
"You don't get it-"
"You're right, I don't get it. Why do you do this, Katara? Last time was to teach waterbending at the South pole, but this… this is bigger, and there will be no turning back from it," Suki's voice was gentle again, which made her feel worse. She deserved to be scolded, especially now that she was going to repeat her actions. Hadn't she learned? But, again, this was different, it was a more significant compromise. She couldn't be selfish with this, it fell in a whole different category. It wasn't about her fear of getting attached, it was about her Tribe, her people.
"There are other people who can take the offer. You can't make this life-changing decision based on your hurt right now-"
"This is not about that. If I don't do this… It can't be my biggest what-if."
"It won't. I can think of a bigger what-if. One that started before the end of the war." A memory of golden eyes flashed in her mind. Those golden eyes that saw her with respect, admiration, and love. The ones she agreed to when they asked her to stay with him. The same golden eyes that were in her mind when she left not more than an hour later without saying goodbye. She had been too scared for such a compromise, her feelings for the fire bender had grown so much in a matter of days that it scared her. It scared her to become so emotionally attached to someone else and she left without an explanation.
Now, two years later, he was looking at someone else with those golden eyes. "It's too late."
Suki stepped towards the water bender and grabbed her hands, she gave her a warm smile, "They are not together."
The bender's blood went cold as she felt like her whole world had shifted. But the looks, and the touches, and the smiles. What about the secrets whispered between them like lovers?
"He was going to ask her during the festivities, but you showed up and it confused him. But if you chose to leave now, he will have his answer. Trust me, you don't want this to be your biggest what-if." Suki gave her hands a soft squeeze and turned to leave as if she had not just spoken the words that changed everything. Katara saw the door close behind her, frozen in her place. They were not together. He was confused. He still cared about her and was waiting for her to make a move.
Suddenly the bag on her back felt a thousand times heavier, and the scroll in her hands felt like ice against her skin. Could she leave again? If she left Zuko would not go after her. He would have his answer stated clearly and would move on to build a future with Mai. She would give up the chance of having a happy life, of making a family with the person she loved. Cause that's what she felt towards the Fire Lord: love. If she took the ship to the South pole that night, she would be choosing a life she did not want but has somehow been bestowed on her.
It was a sick game the spirits had made. Zuko still felt something for her, whether it was still love or not she was not sure, but he had invited her here, back to his life. The South Pole was in need of a Chief in case the worst happened to her dad, her brother was a councilor of Republic City, so now, they asked her to take her place in the Tribe and prepare herself to be chief. They had all made their move, now it was her turn. Run from her responsibilities, or run from the love of her life.
A/N: So... yeah. I was planning on leaving it as a one-shot, but I kinda want to write more about it. I was thinking maybe write a whole story on this plotline but make it a different fiction. I don't know yet. If you want a full story please tell me in the comments. Thank you for reading!