Hi, friend! I'm so glad you're back to voluntarily endure pain with me. Let me tell you, this one is wild. To give you a little insight, I was raised on country music, because who isn't obsessed with poetry written to the sound of a catchy tune, and this is based off one of my favorite songs. If you haven't already heard it, and you want to add a little oomph to this one-shot, the song is 'Burning House' by Cam. It's beautiful, and raw, and truly a timeless piece.

This is set in the time frame of the season 6 finale, so it's obviously full of agony and sadness, but then again, what Dawsey fanfic isn't?

Dedicated to Erin because I told her I would find a way to get her back. Erin, are you still laughing? [insert evil chuckle here]

Without further ado, happy reading!

I've been sleepwalking too close to the fire, but it's the only place I can hold you tight.

The orange flames billowed around him as he walked down the unfamiliar hallway, the moments of where it all went wrong between them playing like a movie against the bubbling paint, the temperature rising with each second passing.

He couldn't tell you what woke him. Maybe it was the shrieking of the alarm, or the smoke clothing his lungs, or her blood-curdling screams as she cried out his name.

All he knew was that he had to get to her, wherever she was.

"Matt!"

Her voice sounded so far away, and it echoed incessantly as if they were inside a dripping cavern, the spikes of her sobs ripping through him with a painful force. He opened his mouth to speak, to call out for her, but all that came was a harsh cough as he choked on the black smog invading his chest.

"Matt, help me!"

He wanted to tell her that he was coming, that he was going to save her, and take her away from the blistering heat, but he couldn't move any faster. His feet grew heavier with every step as the scorched walls began to close in on him, his heart clenching at the sound of her wails turning into whispers.

"Please, Matt. Don't let me die."

He tried to blink away the darkness, but with every flicker of his eyelashes, her words got heavier.

"It hurts, Matt."

Tears slipped down his cheeks from the brims of his wide crystal orbs, the emotion in his throat far much thicker than the cloudy haze burning his eyes as the weight on his shoulders holding him sent him crashing to the floor.

"Help me, Matt."

He felt the singed wood beneath his hands and knees as he crawled through the blaze, everything blurring around him, the only thing keeping him from succumbing was his desperate need to pull her out of the inferno.

The crackle of the heat roared like a hungry lion, ready to consume the flesh of its newest victim, no ounce of pity in sight for their beating hearts.

"Make it stop, Matt. Make the pain stop."

Her breath purred against his neck, but he couldn't see her. He couldn't see anything.

"Why aren't you saving me, Matt?"

He clawed at the floorboards as he dragged his limp body down the never-ending path, the fire licking at his skin. His body begged for sleep, begged for an ease of the pain coursing through him, begged for silence, but he couldn't stop. He had to save her.

Her whispers weren't hushed anymore. They were deafening, thunderous, clamorous howls, his name falling from her tongue in a desperate plea.

His chin hit the floor as his heart pounded ferociously against the hardwood, the flames parting like the Red Sea as his eyes met the ones he'd been in love with for as long as he could remember.

"I don't want to go, Matt."

Her skin began to shrivel, and whisk away from her bones like sand in a gust of summer wind, as she sunk to the ground, her hand reaching out to touch the tips of his fingers.

"Why did you let me go, Matt?"

He watched her last breath trickle from her lips as a sob fell from his, the emptiness in her eyes piercing through his soul like a thousand needles.

"I'm sorry, baby." He finally choked out the only words he could grasp onto, dragging himself towards her with the last bit of strength he had and he wrapped his arms around her, his body withering away just as hers had, the two of them going up in smoke as the fire devoured its prey.

"Don't let me go, Matt."

The thunder crackled violently through the apartment, thrusting him into consciousness as his lungs heaved in the fresh air, his wide eyes darting to every corner of the living room, only to find it clothed in darkness and empty beer bottles.

He willed his rampant heart to slow, but it was no use, the gruesome images playing on a loop in his head as he let a whimper ripple from his jaw, his cheeks dampening at her words echoing through his ears.

He didn't want to let her go.

He didn't want to let her walk out the door.

He didn't want to, but he did.

He wanted her to stay, and tell him things would be okay, just as she had done many times before. He wanted to take away her suffering and heartache, and he wanted to hold her, and be with her.

He never imagined all those years ago, showing up on her doorstep and confessing his love with a silent kiss, that he would have to watch her pack her bags and seal them with a one-way plane ticket, leaving him to pick up the few pieces that were left of the life they shared.

He didn't want to let her go.

Before he knew what was happening, his legs were moving, throwing him from the couch and carrying him out the front door into the frosty Chicago night, a chill shooting through his spine as his bare feet hit the pavement and the rain soaked his skin.

His mind was so heavy and he couldn't process what his body was doing or how to stop it, his subconscious taking charge as it set out on its newest mission.

Everything was a blur, the flicker of the street lights, the rustling of the engines from the passing cars, everything. The only clarity he had was her smile, and her laugh, and the way she blushes every time she catches him looking at her, even though he'd been doing that long before she ever started to notice, and the way she keeps her fingers buried in his hair while she sleeps, and the way she sings at the top of her lungs to *NSYNC, and the way she loves him with every breath, though he would never be deserving of it.

Through the joy and the agony and the numbness, she was there. She gave him everything he never knew he wanted, and he let it all go.

He watched her walk away and as hard as he tried to get his feet to chase after her, he stood planted to the kitchen floor as he listened to the slamming door mask her sobs.

He didn't fight for her then, but he wouldn't make that mistake again.

"Matt, what are you doing here?"

He blinked a few times, the words drawing him from his state of confusion, his brother-in-law's features coming into focus.

"I—I need to see Gabby." He sputtered as drops of rain trickled down his pale face, the temperature of his body slowly decreasing.

Antonio sighed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, "I don't think that's a good idea. You can say goodbye at the airport tomorrow."

"Please," He implored in a stifled whisper, a heavy sob catching in his throat, "I just need to see her. I won't wake her up if she's sleeping, but I just need to see her."

"I swear to god, if you wake her, you're a dead man."

Antonio opened the door wider, ushering him out of the pouring rain and into the warmth of the townhome as he trudged down the hallway in search of his wife.

Her quiet snores danced through his ears as he inched closer to the guest room, the glare from the night light bouncing off the dried tear tracks on her rosy cheeks. He did his best to be as quiet as possible, the tips of his fingers pushing open the door further for him to enter.

She stirred within her restless sleep as the door creaked, halting his movements, only to nuzzle deeper into the duvet tucked under her chin. He sunk quietly to his knees onto the floor next to her, his chin wobbling as he watched the soft rise and fall of her chest, resting his forehead against the edge of the bed as an overwhelming sense of relief settled in the place of the anguish he carried just moments before.

"Matt?"

Her voice startled him, his head shooting up to meet her red-rimmed eyes that were identical to his, "Matt, what are you doing here? And why are you soaking wet?"

"I needed to see you," He mumbled, wiping his face on the sleeve of his damp pajama shirt, "I wanted to make sure you were okay."

She remained silent, looking over every inch of him, knowing there was a hidden meaning behind his words, "Tell me what's wrong."

They had shed more tears in the past 48 hours, together and apart, than they ever thought possible, so the dam that burst forth from him shocked her, vicious sobs rippling through his chest as he wrapped his arms around her midsection, burying himself deeply into her.

"Please don't go."

She had to strain herself to hear him, the emotion thick in her throat as he soaked the fabric of her t-shirt, her fingers intertwined with his tousled hair, placing a soft kiss to the crown of his head, "Shh, it's okay."

"I'm sorry, Gabby. Please don't go."

"Baby, look at me," She spoke quietly, waving away Antonio, who leaned against the door frame with his arms over his chest, with a reassuring smile, a silent I'm okay slipping from her lips.

"Please, Gabby. Don't leave."

"Matthew, look at me," She commanded, the sternness in her voice gentle as she lifted him from her stomach, his whimpers slicing through the patches she attempted to repair her heart with, "I can't help you if I can't understand you, so take some breaths and calm down."

She pulled his hands from around her and onto her chest, inhaling and exhaling deeply as he mimicked her actions, sniffles being the only sound in the room as she kept her fingers coursing through his hair, knowing full well it was the one thing that always calmed his anxiety the quickest.

There were invisible walls that he'd spent his entire life building, sealing them with indestructible armor, keeping his soul clothed in a pit of nothingness.

At least, until Gabriela Dawson walked into his life and pulled them apart brick by brick.

She was the best thing to ever happen to him, and the one he was meant to spend the rest of his existence with, and the one he would use his dying breath to protect, and love, and hold. He'd made so many mistakes, some beyond forgiveness, yet she looked past every single one of them and held him above the water he was on the verge of drowning in.

He didn't deserve her, and he knew that, and maybe it was selfish to beg her to hold onto him any longer, but it was his only chance to give her the love she was more than worthy of, something he should've been doing the past six years.

"Matt, baby," Her subtle endearment drew him out of his swirling thoughts, her thumbs brushing over his flushed skin, "Talk to me."

He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came. He didn't know how to explain that he just watched her turn to dust in a nightmare that shook the foundation of his sanity, or how the desperate pleading in her voice as the fire boiled her alive would haunt him until his last day, or how the sight of her sparkling eyes fading to an abyss of darkness would be engraved in the forefront of his mind.

"It's okay," She assured him, the cloudy haze crossing over his features giving her a slight hint as to why he was so upset, "Did you have a nightmare?"

"I couldn't get to you."

She furrowed her brows, confusion settling over her voice, "Where couldn't you get to me?"

"You were stuck and I couldn't get to you," He gritted his teeth as he ripped his trembling hands from her chest, though she knew his anger wasn't directed at her, "You were screaming and I couldn't get to you."

He stood abruptly and she followed not too far behind, her arms reaching out for him as he began to pace the room, "Matt, honey, I'm here now. I'm right here, okay?"

"No, no, no!" Matt bellowed, sobs creeping back into his throat, "The house was on fire and I saw you burning. You were burning and you kept calling for me to save you and I tried so hard, but my feet wouldn't move fast enough."

"Baby, you gotta calm down," She insisted with a force to her tone, "I'm not stuck in a fire and I'm safe, here with you. You were just dreaming, it was just a dream, Matt."

"Don't let me go, Matt." He repeated her words that echoed over and over, Gabby seeing just how traumatizing his nightmare was, "Why'd you let me go, Matt?"

His legs quivering under him finally gave way, sending him into a heap on the floor, loud howls expelling from his lips as he released the bottled emotions, the petrifying silhouettes of her limp body numbing every inch of him as they flashed through his head.

A heavy feeling settled in her gut as she watched the strongest rock that held her together most of the time crumble to pieces before her, the grief of the past two days getting the best of him. She drew in a shaky breath as she dropped beside her husband, Gabby swallowing the lump that formed in her throat, trying her best to gather her thoughts.

She did the only thing she could get her limbs to do and tugged him into her lap, guiding them to the same position they were in minutes before, as she let the tears building in her eyes fall onto his back, a thick sob heaving from her gut.

She didn't want to let him go.

She didn't want to walk out the door.

She didn't want to, but she did.

And it would forever be the most excruciating decision she ever made.

She knew she needed to take a breather, but she didn't know how she ended up at the CFD Headquarters, assuring Chief Hatcher she would be on the earliest one-way flight to Puerto Rico as she tried to ignore the voice in her head screeching at her to turn back around and go home to her husband.

She wanted to rewind time, and stop the moment where it all went wrong from ever arriving, but she did what she did best: she ran. She ran from him, the person who knew her inside and out, the person who sought out to love her more than she would ever deserve, and right into the waiting arms of her sorrow.

She wanted to stay, and tell him things would be okay, just as she had done all those times before. She wanted to surrender her suffering and heartache to him, and let him hold her, and be with him.

She didn't want to let him go.

"Please, Gabby. Please don't leave me."

She shushed him as she did what she could to control the pounding of her racing heart, pulling him further into her as she embraced him tighter, "I'm not leaving you. I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

She wasn't sure where they would go from here, or what was next for them, or how this chapter in their lives would play out, but there was one thing she did know.

Matthew Casey lit her heart on fire, and she would endure the flames forever.

I'll stay here with you, until this dream is gone.