WARNING! This story does contain coverage of attempted suicide. If this might trigger you, cause you to have a relapse, etc please do NOT read this story!

I have no friends but that's okay

I don't need them anyway

I do my best, all on my own

And I'd just rather be alone

Rather be alone

Lucy looked around the school that she had recently transferred too. Okay not recently, it had been a couple of months, but she told herself it was recent because she had yet to make any friends. In fact she had been teased mercilessly every day by one group or another, it was almost like they took turns on who got to pick on her.

Looking around, Lucy let out another sigh, pulling the hood of her sweatshirt up and over her head, tucking herself in to make herself as small as possible. But she drilled it into her head as she did so that she was better off alone, no one really wanted her. Not the kids at school and not her widowed dad at home.

A shadow fell across her half empty plate and a girl named Flare leaned into her personal space. "Hey Blonde, I thought I told you to give me your lunch today." Lucy didn't respond, it wouldn't matter if she did and she refused to give her tormentors the satisfaction of realizing they had gotten to her. So she picked up her fork, speared a piece of broccoli and purposely opened her mouth wide and shoved it in.

This enraged Flare and she backhanded Lucy, the slap gathering the attention of those at a nearby table. Lucy had to sit somewhere different the normal because her usual table had been taken over by the cheerleaders so they could be closer to the football players. Little did Lucy know, that move would be the best thing for her to do.

"Hey!" came a voice from the other table, "Leave her alone!" Lucy took this moment to take her stuff and bolt as Flare turned to address whoever it was that interrupted her fun. "What's it to you Dragneel? I don't recall the Blonde being in your group of friends." Natsu glared at Flare and said "She isn't yet, but you listen and you listen good, and be sure to tell your friends too. She is under our protection now."

Flare glared at him, Lucy was the newbie, the fun new toy for all the bullies to pick on. Finally she sighed and said "Whatever." Before heading off to join her friends. Natsu looked for the new girl but didn't see her anymore, Levy speaking up that the girl had ran for it while he was confronting Flare.

XXX

Lucy noticed that after that day in the cafeteria, the bullies left her alone. Her normal table had been available again, so she had returned to sitting there, so her rescuer was having no luck finding her. Now that she didn't even have the interaction with the bullies, Lucy found herself feeling more alone and isolated than ever. Not that she enjoyed the bullying, but at least that meant someone saw her.

"Maybe, maybe I should end it. I could be with Mom that way." Lucy whispered, as she shuffled her food from one side of the tray to the other. Then she nodded, deciding that's just what she was gonna do.

XXX

When she got home that night, she planned to go through with her suicide, but than her father announced that he was leaving on a trip for a week and she would be all alone during that time. Lucy didn't want her body to sit for that long, why the thought bothered her when she wouldn't be there to really witness it, she didn't know. So she decided to take the pills with her to school the next day.

Hold on, I still want you

Come back, I still need you

Let me take your hand, I'll make it right

I swear to love you all my life

Hold on, I still need you

Lucy entered the bustling halls of her school the next day, trying to decide where she wanted to do it. Not the bathrooms, while logical in that she wouldn't be found until it was too late most likely, the thought of laying on the floor in there creeped her out a bit. Perhaps the janitor closet? No, it was kept locked. Lucy decided to look at what classroom would be left unoccupied long enough for her to take the pills and for them to take effect.

The music room. No classes would take place there until after lunch. So Lucy headed to homeroom, the only one where they bothered to take attendance and decided she would make a break for it right after they were let loose from there.

XXX

Right after homeroom, Lucy headed swiftly towards the music room. Nobody noticed her, why would they? She was practically invisible. Lucy looked around before yanking the door open and slipping in. She made her way to a dark corner, that way if someone came in too soon they wouldn't see her, hopefully.

Passing a harp, she gently touched it strings. A small, almost smile touched her lips, the harp reminded her of her mother and happier times. She decided to do it as close to the harp as possible. Lucy took her bag of her back and opened it up. Taking a baggie of miscellaneous pills, she stared at them for a long minute, her mind asking her if she really wanted to do it.

She nodded and had just poured some into her hand, when the door swung open. Trying to hide herself, she shrunk up against the side of the harp, hoping whoever had come in would just get whatever they had come in for and leave.

No such luck, she was actually even startled when she heard a voice ask softly "Lucy, are you in here?" She recognized the voice, it was the same one that had rescued her from Flare that day in the lunch room. "Come on Lucy, I know I saw you come in here. What are you doing, skipping school?" the pink-haired guy asked.

Lucy kept still and she thought she was home free when he turned his head back to the door, but she must have made some noise, a sigh of relief perhaps, because suddenly he turned his head again and this time he was looking directly at her. He smiled and said "There you are! I was looking all over for you, what are you doing back there?"

Lucy panicked and decided that she better try her suicide now, otherwise she would never get another chance. Natsu watched in horror as he saw Lucy raise her hand to her mouth, a single pill falling free to show her intention. Natsu lunged across the room, not caring what if anything he knocked over in his haste to get to her side.

"Woah, Lucy, no don't do it! Come on, spit them out! It can't be that bad." Natsu tried coaxing her as he reached for her. Lucy shook her head, pulling away but finding herself unable to swallow as there were too many in her mouth at the moment for her to do so. "Please Lucy, don't do this. Think of those who love you!" He watched as a single tear slipped from her eye and he realized she either felt like no one did or there really was no one in her life who loved her.

Changing tactics, Natsu said "Lucy, I want to be your friend. I have been trying to find you since that day in the cafeteria. Please Lucy, give me a chance. If you spit out the pills now, I won't tell anyone about this. Come on Lucy, I still want you, I want your friendship." Seeing the hesitation in her eyes, he took his hand and dragged a finger over his heart a couple of times as he said "Cross my heart Lucy, I won't tell, I'll even pinky promise."

He held out the bag he had picked up off the floor to her and Lucy, hesitating only a moment longer, spat them out into it, collapsing against him as she sobbed. Natsu sighed with relief, that had been too close. He held her as she sobbed, not moving or pulling away, but rather waiting for her to calm down and do so herself.

When she did, she whispered "I'm sorry." "For what? By the way, I'm Natsu." Natsu introduced himself. Lucy smiled a small smile at his introduction, before her face fell once again. "For being a bother, for making you miss class, that you had to witness that, take your pick." Lucy said softly. Natsu shook his head and said "You're not a bother Lucy and as for missing class, eh I was due to play hooky at some point this year."

Taking her chin gently in his hand, he brought her face up and said "And as for witnessing that. I'm glad I did and that I was able to stop it. I will keep my promise Lucy, but you also got to tell me if you ever feel that way again." Lucy nodded, tears of happiness stemming from his kindness filling her eyes. Natsu gave her his signature grin and said "How about we really play hooky, I know this place where the old man that runs it won't tell on us."

Lucy wiped the tears from her eyes and gave her first real smiles in months as she said "Okay, sounds good." Helping Lucy to her feet, Natsu continued to hold her hands all the way not only through to the school, but the hang out that Natsu mentioned called Fairy Tail.

Home

A place where I can go

To take this off my shoulders

Someone take me home

It was graduation day, three years after Lucy had come to Magnolia High School. The ceremony had just finished and Lucy and her group of friends were all making plans to meet up at Fairy Tail as soon as they could. Lucy grinned as her boyfriend, Natsu, took her hand, leading her to his blue truck that he called Happy.

They had been officially dating for two years and Natsu had kept his word to her. Nobody besides himself knew of that moment where Lucy had tried to commit suicide in the music room. That's not to say Lucy never felt that way again, but this time she had Natsu to turn to and help her through it, so she never came as close to taking that final step again.

Once they had reached his truck, Natsu grinned and said "Well Lucy, we're both over eighteen now and have officially graduated from high school! Can you believe it?" Lucy laughed and said "No I can't." Natsu reached a hand over to take hers and squeeze, he knew the deeper meaning behind her words.

Soon they arrived at Fairy Tail, were hugs and congratulations were shared among all of their friends. Makarov had special drinks on the menu, all of them virgin types since everyone was underage, although Lucy could have sworn she saw Cana putting something in her own drink, though she couldn't say for sure. There was dancing and other fun activities for the youth to do and even special prizes to be one by the graduates.

During one of the slow dances, Natsu whispered into Lucy's ear "You know I love you, right?" Lucy whispered back "As much as I love you." Natsu smiled and said "I was hoping you would say that." Suddenly he paused in the dancing and to Lucy's surprise, he went down on one knee. "Natsu." She whispered as he reached into his pocket, looking for something.

Seeming to have found it he said "Lucy Heartfilia, ever since you came into my life I knew there was something special about you. Two years ago, when you agreed to put up with me by agreeing to become my girlfriend, I knew that we would always be together. After all, everything is better when we're together. Now I hope you still agree with me and will do me the honor, of becoming my wife. Lucy, will you marry me?"

Lucy's eyes filled with tears as she said "Of course I will Natsu." As he stood, placing the ring on her finger as he did so, their friends let out a cheer. Who knew that all those years ago, when she had to change seats in the cafeteria for one day, that it would lead to all of this? Friends, the love of her life, her home.

Songs used are No Friends by Cadmium, Hold On by Chord Overstreet and Home by Machine Gun Kelly, X Ambassadors + Bebe Rexha.

Please, if you are thinking about suicide, know that no matter how alone you feel you are, someone will miss you. If talking to a counselor seems too daunting at the moment, talk to a friend or someone you trust. You don't have to mention your thoughts of suicide to the your friend/person you trust, just tell them about what is making you contemplate it. Whether it's bullying or depression or any other feeling or a combination of any of those feelings, just reach out.

I've almost given into the thoughts of suicide myself, most recently was around Christmas of last year, in fact I had chosen the day after Christmas as my day to die. Pills were going to be my weapon of choice, so to speak, so I guess thats why I throw it into a fanfic like this. Honestly, I wasn't feeling very Christmasy last year, like I never got into that woohoo Christmas feeling. I was feeling very alone and it didn't help that no one in my family was in that special Christmas spirit. I picked the day after Christmas for my death date because I didn't want to ruin Christmas permanently for my family and it was torture waiting for it to come. As you can tell, I'm still here, I didn't go through with it. It was the people here in my online world that kept me alive, though none of yah knew it, so thank you. A kind review here, a chat or message there that brightened my day and put a smile on my face. I didn't reach out that time, didn't want to bother anyone with it being Christmas time and all, but now that I'm currently in a better place, I know that there were a couple of people who I could have reached out to and they wouldn't have felt it was a bother at all. It's 'funny' how dark depression can make your view.

I'm going to copy/paste what I put at the end of couple of other of my Fairy Tail stories, Sticks and Stones + Hang On A Little Longer, because it's a message I want to be loud and clear to all those battling depression. Please, if you are suffering from depression or even think you are just in the starting stages, please don't keep it to yourself like I did. It's stolen years of my life, don't let it steal yours too! Talk to someone, even if it's just an online friend if talking to someone you know in real life is too daunting at first. Please, talk to someone who can help you through these feelings. Don't let it win.