Crow's Feet

Response to a challenge.

Set after Crow's Feet episode (5.4)

Catherine Sara Friendship and Soft Femme Slash

Sara POV (italics are flashbacks/memories)

XXX

A few years ago, perhaps even a few months ago, that would have been me.

Drowning in a bottle, to mask my emotions, and allowing my thoughts and feelings to be numbed.

Gathering courage with liquid amber and shot after shot.

As much as it helped, it destroyed too.

I learnt the hard way to say no, but I'm glad I did, before it got out of control.

Her hand is so soft, gentle. Confusing.

It was probably one of the best decisions I've ever made, especially in recent years.

Stretching a little, the sheet slips down my body a little.

She's giggling now, eyes alight with a drunken energy, her hand resting on my leg

Turning slightly I feel a mix of emotions, thoughts, feelings.

I'm not alone in this bed.

Xxx

Walking into the locker room, on time for once, I see Catherine sat on the bench in front of her locker, her gaze half vacant, half staring in to the mirror.

'Seriously Catherine, don't let him get to you, like I said before, you don't need it ok?' Nick says, putting on his jacket. Placing his hand on Catherine's shoulder, he briefly greets me before walking out of the room.

Whether Catherine even heard him, I don't know, she barely seems to acknowledge him.

Stepping further into the room, I call out to her 'Cat? You ok?'

It takes Catherine a moment or two to respond 'Yeah… Yeah…' she sounds despondent and not at all convincing.

'Wanna fill me in? Tell me what Nick just meant?' I ask her whilst rummaging through my locker

'Not really…'

'Oh… ok. Well, if you change your mind…' I shrug, closing my locker and make my way out of the room.

'Sara…' Catherine calls me back just in time

'Yeah?'

'Wanna grab a drink, have a beer or two?'

Xxx

That could have been the beginning of the end for me. A few people have, wrongly, assumed I'm an alcoholic. It has never been true, but I did use to binge. It was a way of coping.

A bad way, but a way none the less.

Xxx

I close my eyes, take a breath, and slowly nod 'Alright, I'll drive, meet you at the car, I'm just gonna head to the bathroom before we go' I smile, and see Catherine smiling back.

I'm a little nervous to say the least.

Not because I'm going for a drink with Catherine, believe it or not, we have gone out together on several occasions in the past, and lately I've been a lot more social than when I first arrived in Vegas.

The thing I'm nervous about, is this is the first time anyone from the team has asked me out to a bar since I quit drinking, cold turkey, after my near DUI almost 7 weeks ago.

After that incident Grissom made me use some of my holiday time, and I ended up away from the lab for almost 3 weeks.

Since I've been back there's been a few team breakfasts, but this will be the first time I've stepped into a bar.

After using the toilet, and washing my hands, I splash cold water on my face, steadying myself, and then join Catherine at the car.

Xxx

I didn't touch a drop, and after being in the bar for less than a minute, any temptation evaporated. In part it was because I really took my time to look at the patrons already there, already drunk or on their way to getting there, and in part because I just really didn't feel the need.

Yet still, I ended up in someone else's bed.

Xxx

Catherine has been kinda quiet so far, we've only been here half an hour, she's nursing her nearly empty wine glass, and I'm slowly sipping on a club soda. When I ordered the drinks, Catherine looked at me, almost questioning my choice, I just shrugged it off 'Designated driver' I explained, and we left it at that.

As social as I try to be, my conversational skills outside of work still need a lot of work, and are second only to Grissom, and perhaps Hodges. In the past I guess alcohol helped fuel my tongue.

Between us the atmosphere is kinda dull.

The bar is quiet, until a merry patron walks up to the jukebox, and music begins to fill the room.

A wide smile crosses over Catherine's face, and her mood seems to almost lift.

'You know…' she states, draining the last of her wine, before gesturing to the bar tender for a refill 'I lost my virginity to this'

My jaw drops a little 'You lost your virginity whilst listening to 'Car Wash'?' I nearly choke

'Yeah… it was number one in the charts and…'

'Excuse me?' I almost shout

'I Said…'

'I know what you said Catherine, but if it was number one that means you lost your virginity when you were 13!'

'Yes, I'm well aware of how old I was thank you very much' Catherine snaps, barely thanking the waitress for the drink, she nearly downs half of it in one go, which for wine, is even impressive too me.

I blink a few times, trying to formulate a sentence, a million thoughts racing through my head

'It was completely consensual, if that's what you were wondering' Catherine offers quietly, placing her glass back down.

'That's good… that's good to know'

'How about you?' she questions, twirling the glass in her fingers

'How about me what?' I ask, a knot forming in my stomach

'When did you lose yours?'

'Oh…' I look away for a moment 'I…' stalling I avoid her gaze '16, I guess' which is a half-truth that I hope she doesn't question. Taking a sip of my drink, I look around the bar 'Hey, I have some quarters, wanna have a couple more drinks and play some pool?'

'Sure, why not, beats going home'

'Great' Standing up from the bar, I set up the table, and then another song plays over the jukebox, this time 'One way or another' by Blondie starts to play, and Catherine is grinning like an idiot, by the box.

Xxx

Feeling a movement beside me, I turn a little more, my hand reaching up almost of its own accord, to tuck long blonde hairs behind my companions ear.

Xxx

Now that we've relaxed a little, it's turning into a nice evening… well, for most it would be morning, but seeming as we work nights, our days are a little backwards. Whatever had put Catherine in a strange and quiet mood earlier, seems to be being forgotten.

We've talked about everything and nothing, from random memories of our youth, to bizarre cases we worked before we knew each other. Lindsey has been mentioned a few times, but for the most part it seems to be a pleasant trip down memory lane for us both.

I don't remember the last time I talked so freely about myself, or about my past, and have had someone actively, wanting, to listen.

It's almost giving me the same buzz I used to get after a few drinks, but I'm completely sober.

Catherine, on the other hand, is on her 5th glass of wine, and starting to get a little wobbly on her feet, and is losing her edge and ability to play pool.

I think, after this game we should call it a day.

It doesn't take me long to clear the rest of the table, again, I've won 2 out of 3 of our games.

'Let's sit down for a bit… I think someone else wants the table anyway…' I gesture to the two men who are watching us.

Catherine glances up 'Their not looking for the table, their looking at you Sara'

'Sure…' I drawl out sarcastically

'Don't argue with me, and don't be so dismissive, you're pretty Sara' Catherine smiles, tucking some hair behind her ear, before placing her que down, and sauntering towards the bar once more.

Shaking my head I follow, glancing over my shoulder at the men as I pass.

'We should think about heading home soon…' As much as I'm having a good time, I am getting a little tired, and I don't think it's a good idea for Catherine to drink anymore.

'Let's talk a little more…' Catherine beams at me, her hand reaching out to rub against my arm.

'Just a little… we have to work later, we need to sleep at some point'

'Urg…' Catherine drops her head a little 'Why did you have to mention that word?'

'What word?' I question, taking a seat next to her

'Work'

'Ummm…'

'Work made me feel really old today…'

'Oh…' I'm a little confused, I have no idea what case she's been working on.

'I think I need Botox…' Catherine gestured to the bartender, and asked for two shots of vodka

'Don't be stupid Catherine' I place my arm on her shoulder 'Why would you say something like that?'

Catherine just shrugs me off, and passes me one of the shots

'No, thanks…' I pass it back, and before I know it, she's downed both of them.

Suddenly, Catherine turns, giggling at god only knows what 'I lost my virginity to this song' she states for the second time today.

Well, now I'm really confused.

When she said it the first time, Car wash by Rose Royce was playing, now Lady by Kenny Rogers was playing on the jukebox

Catherine senses my confusion 'When I was 13, I lost it to a boy, he was a bit older, it was a few days before his 15th birthday. Tucker Johnson. When I was 17, I lost it to Blake Johnson. His twin sister. You know…' I suddenly find Catherine's hand playing in my hair 'I've always liked Brunettes'

I smile, but shrug it off, leaning away from her touch.

She doesn't seem to get the hint though. Her hand slides down my bare arm, her fingers gentle and soft on my skin.

'Catherine…' she pulls her hand away.

'I like seeing this side of you, away from work… when you relax, your beauty shines through even more'

Ok, I know she's drunk and had a hard day, but I have no idea how to take these words, and if she'll even remember them after she's sobered up.

'You know…' Catherine starts giggling again, and her hand finds its way to my leg, resting there 'I've always been a little jealous of you… you have the prettiest eyes I have ever seen… they're so expressive!'

Before I can even formulate a response, she's leant in closer.

Xxx

'Hey…' I whisper, when I see sleepy blue eyes blinking up at me

Xxx

Pulling back, I stand up 'I just need to head to the ladies…' I gesture vaguely behind me, before walking away, trying to understand everything that has just happened.

When I return, Catherine is slumped a little more in her chair, and there are two more shot glasses in front of her, I get the bartenders attention, and gesture to him that he should cut her off, nodding his agreement, he moves on to serve somebody else.

'Your back!' Catherine almost screams, straightening up and throwing her arms around me in an awkward embrace 'Missed you!' she slurs

'Yeah… missed you too' I say, trying to placate her

'You did?'' Catherine's voice, though slurred, is full of excitement too 'Mmmm… You smell good…' Once again I have to distance myself from her

'Think we should head home? Get some sleep?'

'Nah, no way, I wanna stay here where there's no one else!' again, I'm confused, the bar seems to be getting busier everytime I look around.

'Besides' Catherine speaks up again 'You're here, why would I want to leave someone so beautiful in a dirty old bar like this'

Once again Catherine leans into me 'You never answered my question Sara'

'Wh…What question?'

'Do I need Botox…' her hand reaches up, cupping my face 'Here.. or here…' her fingers graze the corner of my eye, and then my forehead.

I shake my head no, but can't seem to find the words I need.

'Your kind, a liar, but kind… I wish I had your complexion Sara… your youth. You have the most wonderful smile, the most expressive eyes, legs to die for, a great body… and you don't even realise how truly beautiful you are. I have to work hard to look good… you can get out of a trash can and still look good. Do you know how many different creams I use?'

'Catherine… where is all of this coming from? Did someone say something to you?'

Catherine shakes her head no, her hand still cupping my face, her thumb now caressing my cheek

Xxx

'You stayed' came the sleepy response

'Yeah…' I smile down at the face before me 'How's the head?' I ask gently, my hand lingering on the side of the blondes face.

'Sore as hell'

'Well, you did drink a lot…'

'Yeah…'

'Do you remember what happened?' I ask, my eyes focused on the face before me.

'Yes' Catherine whispered, her own hand reaching up to my face.

Xxx

'It's not what someone said to me, it's what I should have said to you… You are really beautiful Sara' Catherine started giggling again 'You've got the cutest freckles'

'Cat…'

'I'm drunk, I'm not blind Sara'

'Look, you need sleep ok…'

'No, I don't need sleep, I need you to realise… you'd make a paper bag look sexy as hell…' Catherine leant in closer again, causing me to slip of my chair.

She looked a little surprised for a moment, but then burst into laughter.

'Come on…' I straightened myself up, and practically had to drag her off the chair and out of the bar too the car. I'm so glad I'm sober right now.

Xxx

Catherine's eyes dart from mine to my lips and back 'I'm sorry…'

'It's ok, you were drunk…'

'Yeah… but I remember everything… sometimes it's a blessing, sometimes it's a curse. I never forget a single thing I've said whilst under the influence… sure, I might say stupid things, or do something daft, but I always, always, remember…' Catherine smiled weakly, moving her hand away, and tucking it under her body, almost as if she trapped them she couldn't use them.

Xxx

It's taken a few attempts, but I've finally gotten a very giggly, and flirty, Catherine into my car.

'If you're gonna puke, tell me, I'll pullover'

'Nah, don't worry, last time I puked was during labour… jeez… I guess 9 years ago… I'm older than I realise…'

'Age is just a number Catherine'

'Easy for you to say, with your perfect face, and wonderful body…' Catherine sighs, her eyes closing.

'Can't we just agree to disagree on that one?'

'No. We can't. Learn to take a compliment Sara… your drop dead gorgeous, and any guy would be lucky to have you. You're going to look young forever. I really like your eyes, did I say that already?'

'Yeah… a few times' I chuckle, trying to concentrate on driving.

'I don't like it when your eyes get sad. You don't carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, you carry it in your eyes… I don't even know if that makes sense… but when you're happy, it shows, when you're hurting it shows… I want to see more happiness in your eyes, more sparkle… I bet you have the most amazing sex eyes' Catherine babbles, looking out of the window.

I swallow, did she really just say that?

Xxx

I smile a little 'Catherine…'

'Don't Sara, you don't need to say anything. I know what happened last night. I don't forget, remember?'

Xxx

Catherine's very slowly sobering up, but it's going to take a while, several large glasses of wine, and vodka shots… she's going to be sore and feel like death warmed up in the morning. I've managed to get her into her bed, shoes off, but nothing else. It's around 11.30, on a school day, and I have no idea what time Lindsey will be back, or how she'll get home. I want to ask, but Catherine is already half asleep, the amount of alcohol in her system helping.

I move to cover her with a blanket, and then leave her in peace, but her hand darts out, and grabs mine

'Stay…' she mumbles, her grip surprisingly tight for someone so intoxicated.

I try to pull away, but find I can't 'Ok… just… let me get more comfortable?'

'Promise you'll come back…' Catherine mumbles into the pillow

'Promise' I finally extract my hand, and step out of the room. I think staying would be a terrible idea right now, but I also want to keep an eye on Catherine, just in case. Just because she hasn't been sick since Lindsey was born, doesn't mean she won't be sick now.

Once I'm finished in the bathroom, I slip back into my room, remove my shoes, pants, and bra, and quietly slip into the bed next to Catherine wearing just my top and underwear.

Catherine rolls over in her sleep, and I try to make myself comfortable.

About an hour later, Catherine starts fidgeting in her sleep, struggling with the button on her trousers.

'Ummm…' I gently shake her shoulder to wake her up 'Why don't you go to the bathroom, get undressed, and then come back to bed?'

'Urg… too much effort…' Catherine half sits up in the bed, eyes still closed, pulling her top, and bra off, before shimmying out of her trousers.

Oh dear God, now not only am I in bed with an inebriated Catherine, I'm in bed with her half naked… scrap that, completely naked. She's now taken off her thong too.

Great.

Xxx

'Look, I… I…'

'Sara, please don't. It happened ok, now we move on' Catherine shifts in the bed, the sheet falling away from her naked body, her smooth pale skin. I close my eyes when I see the scratch marks on her back.

Xxx

I don't know when, but we both must have drifted off the sleep again, but now I'm slowly coming back to my senses. I feel soft hands caressing my side, teasing at the edge of my shirt, playing against my hip bone. Instinctively I shuffle closer into the touch. I can't remember the last time a dream felt so real.

Dream me wants more, so I roll over slowly, and my hands start their own exploration.

Xxx

'What if… What if I don't want to?' I whisper, just as Catherine is about to leave the room. I'm still confused, still trying to process, but I just know I can't let her walk out the door.

Xxx

The touch on my side gets more intense, and whoever this is, in my dream, I pull them closer, peppering kisses on to the skin before me. The smell of vanilla fills my senses, a new sensation. I've never been able to perceive smell in my dreams before. I open my eyes wide.

I'm not dreaming.

This is real.

This is very real.

I've just been kissing Catherine's body.

Embarrassed, I try to pull away 'Don't…' Catherine whispers, her hand now moving under my top 'Please don't stop Sara…' she moves, and places a kiss on my collarbone.

I don't know if I have a moment of clarity, or a moment of stupidity, but my lips once more find her skin.

I don't know why I'm doing this, but right now, everything is so sensual, and just feels so right. I know Catherine's drunk right now, but I also know she is aware of her actions.

I just hope in equal measures, that she both forgets and remembers this night.

Our lips are yet to meet, but our hands start to explore one another, my lips savouring her naked skin, as she tries to pull my top off

Xxx

Catherine turns around, sheet wrapped tightly around her body 'I said don't Sara. I don't need you to tell me it shouldn't have happened, or pretend otherwise ok… I was drunk ok, I took advantage of you… we took advantage of each other. Just forget it' she turns around once more, and I know I have to speak up now, or not at all

'I lost my virginity last night'

She turns around once again

'Excuse me?'

'You said, last night, you lost your virginity twice, once to a boy, once to a girl… If that's true, I've lost mine 3 times. I don't think I want to, or ever could, forget last night Catherine. You never forget your first, right?'

'Right…' Catherine steps back towards the bed, and perches on the edge 'Sara… unless there's a sex I don't know about…'

I close my eyes, shielding myself a little 'I was 11. It wasn't consensual. I was 16, it was consensual, but I hated it afterwards. I'm 34, and I don't want to forget…perhaps, I… we, should have never done it, perhaps we shouldn't have done it like we did, but, like you said… it happened. I stayed for a reason Catherine… I… I thought you liked me… what you said… what you were saying last night… I'm sorry I misread the situation, and took your drunken words to literally… I'll get my stuff and go, if you want…' I'm fiddling with the blanket now, looking down into my lap.

'Oh sweetheart…'

Xxx

'Cath…oh… god…oh….' I'm trying to talk, but my mind has gone blank.

We've yet to kiss, still, but that no longer seems to matter too much. My arms grip tighter around her body, my fingers scratching a little as Catherine move inside of me. I don't really know what she's doing, but I don't really care. I just don't want her to stop.

I never knew it could be like this.

I never knew sex could be so sensual

Xxx

Catherine edges closer to me, her one hand once more cups my face, the other moves to my side, she leans in, her forehead resting against mine, before moving a little.

Our lips meet, and a new sensation washes over my body, and my eyes close involuntarily.

I feel Catherine pull back slightly 'Open your eyes, I want to see them shinning' Catherine whispers, before leaning into kiss me once more.

Smiling into the kiss, I open my eyes, my hand reaching up to tangle in Catherine's soft golden hair, I lie back in the bed, pulling her down with me.

Xxx

A/n Hope you've enjoyed my little story! The challenge was 'Catherine drunken rambling to Sara that they think their attractive – essentially drunkenly giggling and confessing their feelings without it being a big confession.

I hope I've done the challenge justice! Thanks once more to Jamie – itbloomedforyourlittlegirl – for setting the challenge.

More always welcome, let me know!

Review if you can!

Thanks for reading, Emz.