We Are Phantom Thieves (Demon Slayer)

Phantom Thieves Slayers.

A group of highly successful thieves who steals priceless, expensive, and sometimes very valuable item, or even a highly important secret files.

Their identity is very much recognizable, with each member have a unique mask and carrying a weapon. Sword. Katana to be exact. With only one known member carrying a gun.

Their heist is known to be mystical and magical. Performing miracle as such creating elements out of their show, one hundred percent escapes unscathed. And whatever they stole... shall never be seen again. They were known to giving troubles and headaches to the police forces all across Japan.

Sometimes they would crash onto auction bazaar or museum, or even black market. Sometimes they ignore it.

They have no set pattern or clear aims.

No one knows what they aimed at.

~X~

Karamasu Auction, Hall C

It was a big auction, attended by wealthy millionaires and billionaires across Japan. The theme was Masquerade Party, and so, everyone wears stunning dresses and suits with their face covered in masks Include the magnificent MC and his lovely assistant.

It was hard to stay true to the auctioned item, when the MC and lady assistant is just as stunning if not more, despite their rather young stature.

"Finally, our main star attraction." The MC speaks with a husky voice. For someone so young, he sure damn has a voice that could make women and men swoon. "Let's give applause... to the goddess."

The floor opens and a statue rising. Everyone goes "Ooooooohhh" and "Aaaahhhh" at the beautiful statue of utterly, completely, a totally gorgeous lady made out of white marble. The Goddess was clothed in beautiful Kimono. Black and red and gold, layers upon layers. Her expression was full of serenity and invitation even with eyes blindfolded. She is emanating sweet, fragrant scent.

The rumor said the Goddess shall elevate whoever owns her into higher beings.

Everyone wants to see her. Everyone wants to see the miracle. Everyone wants to uncover the mystery and rumor of the goddess. Everyone wants to be elevated.

Their intention is clear to read.

"Ahhh... yes." The MC whispered. "The Fabled legendary Goddess. The one who brings her fortunate Master to a higher being and promising long preposterous life. Or so the legend says."

"The Auction started at—"

And the lights decided to give up at that moment.

Riot happens.

"What happened?!"

"Augh! My feet!"

"Who pushed me!"

"Hey! Watch where your hands going!"

"Where's the technician! What the fuck happened?!"

It doesn't last long. The lights come a few moments later, and the people want to fill complains about the bad reception. After the auction of course. The Goddess is so much important.

And said Goddess was gone.

With the MC and the Lady Assistant decide a change of costume is in order.

The MC was wearing a burgundy gakuran-style shirt underneath the black-and-green checkered form-fitting vest, black coat reaching all way to his thighs, and matching black pants tucked into black boots with red accent on it. The coat pinned together with red sun pins at the collar, connected by the golden tassel. One of his gloved hands resting on a sword hanging from his side. A pair of earrings in the shape of black hanafuda with the red sun hanging from his ears.

The Lady was wearing a black gakuran-style shirt underneath white vest with pale pink outlines, pink-tinted black wrap-around miniskirt in the shape of flower petals, black leggings tucked into white boots with red laces. Her rather bountiful breasts were partially covered by the white coat that gradually turned pink at the end, pinned at left collarbone with a rose pin. Like her male counterpart, she too, resting her gloved hand upon sword on her side. Her butterfly earring glinted under the light.

People recognized them right away.

"AAAAHHHHH! IT'S THE PHANTOM THIEVES!"

The male tilted his head. It's hard to his expression, though, as he was wearing a white fox mask with red sun markings on the forehead. "It seems this is our cue to leave, right, Hana-chan?"

"Right back at you, Taiyo-kun." Hana inclined her head. She too, was wearing a mask. A face-shaped mask with pink flower design around the eyes down to the cheeks.

The security comes in with gun blazing, but both thieves already move.

DOR! DOR! DOR! DOR!

Everyone was treated into a spectacle of the thieves unsheathe their sword and move to block and slices the bullet. Some could swear fire like sunlight coming out from Taiyo's sword, and flowers bloom from Hana's stroke.

Once the security exhausted their bullet, the thief went to escape. They were so fast!

Blink. They were halfway across the room. Blink, both already on the ceiling, kicking the glass and make their way to the roof.

Auction Hall C located on the tenth floor of the tenth-stories building. They were right at the rooftop.

The police surround the building. They could hear the sound of a helicopter approaching.

"YOU WERE SURROUNDED!" One of them bellowed through speakers. "THERE'S NO WAY TO ESCAPE! SURRENDER YOURSELF!"

But neither thieves do so.

They instead look at each other.

"Ready?"

"Born ready."

Holding hands, they run to the edge of rooftop... and jumps.

Screams could be heard as both thieves descending down at high speed. Taiyo and Hana holding hands and pull each other closer, till they embrace each other. Taiyo's hands wrapped around Hana's slim waist and Hana's hands buried on Taiyo's straight back.

The screams get louder when they suddenly burst. Into fire and flowers.

And then...

They were gone. With only a small card with the picture a red fox holding flower in its mouth and two words scribbled in English.

Mission Success

~X~

Ahh... Reincarnation. A very curious and interesting theme. The thought of being reborn sometimes in the future. There are so many theories and myths regarding reincarnations.

Some people said you might remember your past life.

They very much believe it. Tanjiro, Nezuko, Zenitsu, Inosuke, Kanao, and Genya. Why? Because it's what happens to them.

Perhaps fate had a plan for them. Perhaps it was the fact all of them meet in the same place, at the exact same time. Perhaps it was the shock and terror seeing a Demon attacked them.

The night started normally.

Tanjiro coming home from Kendo practice and picking Nezuko from cram school.

Zenitsu just wants to escape his older brother for a moment.

Inosuke does what he pleased.

Kanao has to buy something from supermarket.

His mother is sick, and Sanemi-nii was doing a project at a friend's house, so Genya went and buy medicine.

It was a complete and utter accident, that they all meet at the crossroad near the park. They stopped dead and stares at each other with eyes wide open and thought, I know them.

They would start asking each other, "who are you?" "Have we meet before?" "Where did I see you?" and so on.

Except they never did.

Something jumped out from the shadow. A humanlike creature but not human. Not with corpse ashen pale skin, with bulging blue veins can be seen underneath it, pure blank black eye, mouth full of fangs, and nails elongated into claws.

That jostled something buried deeply in their soul.

Genya throws himself at the Demon, wrestles him with all his might, holding it by arms and legs. This leaves the Demon vulnerable to Inosuke's Pig Assault, followed by Nezuko's Deadly Kick.

They break the Demon's ribs and horn, respectively.

Genya twisted the Demon's limb one last time before flip themselves over, now above him, before letting him go.

Before the Demon could stand up, Kanao kicked it as hard as she could, enhanced by Breathing Style. Which means, it's dozens times stronger than it should be. The kick was enough to send the Demon flying towards Tanjiro.

Tanjiro grabbed it by the shoulder, perform a Breath, and headbutt it. Hard. A cracking sound echoes.

Just information, even in this life, he has a very hard skull, which means the cracked skull was not his, but the Demon's.

He let the dizzy Demon go.

"Thunder Breathing First Form: Thunderclap and Flash."

Only for Zenitsu to deliver the finishing blow with Tanjiro's bokken.

Normally a bokken—a wooden sword—is not sharp enough to cut anything, much less a Demon's neck. It was not made for that. Except Thunder Breathing relies on lower body and speed. And Zenitsu can be very fast. The speed resulting in the whiplash, which augmented with Thunder Breathing, resulting in a thunderous roar and slicing cut.

The Demon's neck sliced neatly.

It was not Nichirin Sword, sadly, and thus despite the neck was sliced neatly, the Demon is very much alive.

No problem though. The location conveniently located next to the park with blooming wisteria. Kanao simply plucked some and waiting until the right moment to shove it down the Demon's mouth. To make sure, she crushed some wisteria and spread it on the severed body.

The Demon dies with an agony-filled scream.

"That's amazing." Someone said. "Nobody would think you just meet."

The way they attacked was choreographed perfectly well. There's no need to talk or signal, it was as if they can read each other's thoughts.

They turned to the source and found a young man with seafoam green hair cradling a calico cat.

"Yushiro-san!" Tanjiro exclaimed.

Yushiro smiled. "When do you have time? We have so much to talk about."

~X~

"Uwaa..." The figure with electric yellow Songbird Mask whistled. "Taiyo and Hana's escape is so flashy."

His intercom buzz to life.

"HA! I CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT! JUST WAIT TILL MY TURN!" A boastful voice said.

"You better NOT, Ino." Another male, more cultured yet no less pissed, remarked. "Or I'll postpone your next heist for a year."

"DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE."

"Try. Me."

"I'm in agreement."

"Hn."

A grumble.

"Now, now, guys." A female voice said. "...hey. I think I detect Demon Activity. Ah! Kage! Fifty meters your south, past an alleyway near construct site! Ino, twenty seven to your east. Coming from the old, abandoned hotel! Kaminari, yours is three blocks over!"

"Uwee... mission at a time like this? Aren't we gonna celebrate the successful heist?" Whines Kaminari. "I haven't got my dinner fixed."

There are sounds of keyboard tapping and hissing sound.

"Well... you can ignore the demon... if you want your dearly Uzui-san ended up dead."

"WHY YOU DIDN'T START WITH THAT?!"

"...don't you have Special Hearing? We thought you know."

Kaminari swears he's gonna switch the coffee into decaff, damn the consequences.

~X~

"To simply things, humans are stupid creatures. Full stop."

"OI!"

"What? Do you think you were the only one encountered Demons? Hell. No. Do you think all humans view the demon as a monster? No. There's some idiot who envying Demon's regenerative and inhumane strength, and through some means draw some Demon's blood and trying to decipher it. Around 1970, a group of deranged scientist successfully create the, let's call it Demon Drugs. They tested it and it miraculously works. However, as there's no Muzan or any semblance of Hive King, the demons were running rampant without anything to hold them down. The drugs created weak Demons... but as you know, the more human they ate, the stronger the Demon become. The downside of that..."

Yushiro pulled something out of his pocket. A small jar contained red powder. He opens the lid, and Tanjiro immediately backpedaled. Pinching his nose and gagged.

"Gweehh! What is that?!" The redhaired boy gagged. "It stinks! It stinks to high heaven! And I thought Muzan's smell is bad!"

The others crinkled their nose. The smell... it was so strong, and they don't have an enhanced nose!

"It's one of the more potent Demon Drugs." Yushiro sealed the lid airtight once again. "See? It has a potent scent. Inhales it in prolonged time would result in demonification. Swallow it and you will become Demon. Very easy to get infected, right?" His smile was dry and hollow.

"To make things worse, they hid the Demon Drugs into several pieces of noteworthy objects, such as accessories, statues, incense, and other things. A lot of those ended up in the black market, and some were circulated in the Auction House. I'm doing my best here, but all I can do was prevent the circulation from reaching out of Japan. And I'm not a fighter, even if I have century worth of experience."

"So?" Inosuka rubbed his nose. "What do you want us to do?"

"Simple." Yushiro gave him a smirk. "I'll be the head and intelligence, scouting up the location and possible obstacles. You will destroy the Drug and kill the Demons before they can cause ruckus. In short, it will be similar to Kisatsutai, except your main objective is to destroy the drug. If your choice is Drug or Demon, you choose Drug, because even if you kill the Demon, if the Drugs remains, it will just create new Demons."

That was a sound plan, Inosuke had to admit. Come in, destroy the rubbish, get the fuck out. No need to think. Simple and straightforward, just like how he is.

"But you said it ends in Auction House or Black Market," Zenitsu interject, hysterics. "How are we suppose to enters?!"

The table fell silent again.

That, was a good question. HOW?!

Yushiro may have contacts, but he can't always secure them invitations. And there's something called CCTV. If their face were caught... they were done for. Blood Arts? There's only so much it can cover, and relying on it was dangerous.

So... how?

"...perhaps..." Nezuko raises her voice. "I have an idea..."

She opens her phone and searching for something through the internet. After she found what she's searching for, she shows them.

Phantom Thieves.

"The Phantom Thief is a special class of criminal." Kanao read it out loud. "An elusive and fantastic thief who can be long gone before the victim even knows what hit them. Just as likely to be an antihero as a villain. There is no single set model of the Phantom Thief, but they usually have some of the following characteristics:

Steals items that are not merely every expensive but often priceless, fine art, unique gems, or historical artifacts. Leaves a calling card for the intended victims. Is a Master of Disguise. Uses trickery and illusion to escape undetected. Has a rival in the form of a Great Detective or a stubborn police inspector. Has a strict code of honor. Ranging from refusing to commit murder to outright announcing heist in advance. Steals for reasons other than personal gains, such as personal challenge, being a Troll, or vigilante justice."

"Point one and seven are basically our mission," Nezuko explained. "Point two, five, and six are useless, but points three and four are essential!"

Yushiro read it over, before nodded. "Sounds good enough for me."

"Yay! We're going to be Phantom Thieves!"

"Yahooo! I'M GONNA BE THE GREATEST THIEF!"

Genya laughed hysterically.

"Nemi is going to murder me. One of his dreams is to become a police officer!"

"...what is his other dream?"

"Teacher."

A pregnant pause, before Yushiro spoke, "I'll make sure he becomes a teacher at any cost. The last thing we need is a reincarnate in Police division."

~X~

It was a beautiful night of the full moon.

The streets were empty save for a few unfortunate souls who had to go home late.

Perfect time to hunt.

~X~

Shinazugawa Sanemi stretched his body. Ugh, who knows grading paper can be this tiring. Sometimes he thinks he should have become a police officer instead. You know, justice, capturing the bad guy, things like that. Not dealing with snot-nosed brats who don't understand the importance of mathematic in life.

Speaking of brat, Genya once again sleeping over at friend's house.

It feels good when his little brother has friends. Suuuureee... his taste is weird, but not like Sanemi can cast rock. His own friend is weird too. Well, not Kanae. She's sane, but the rest? Insane.

Oh right. While we're talking of insanity...

"GET THE FUCK OUT! I KNOW YOU WERE THERE!" He yelled to the dark night.

There was only silence, but Sanemi swears something was watching him.

And then, it cames out.

Bulging, pile of muscle, with ugly skin, with a disproportionate body. Like someone trying to make a real-life replica of the hulk but failing badly. It has three eyes, with black replaces white, and a mouth full of insect mandibles.

Sanemi's mind went blue screen. WTF?! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS HE SEEING? ESCAPING LAB EXPERIMENT?! WHO THE FUCK CREATES THIS MONSTER?!

The monster roared and raised its hammer-like arms. Sanemi's instinct, the one he honed through street-fighting back when he was still in High School, screamed at him to get the fuck out!

He jumped back, tripped, and almost sprained his ankle. But avoiding get smashed to smithereens. Barely.

There's a decent-size crater in the place where he stood.

This... is not going to be easy.

~X~

Kocho Shinobu just coming home from the library. She was so into her research she forgets the time! Ah, Kanae-nee is so going to worried. So too Kanao, had she doesn't sleepover in her friend's house. Umu.

If she was at Kamado's, Shinobu is going to tease her little sister tomorrow.

Kanao and Tanjiro were so lovey-dovey, they're like a newly married couple! Yet when asked about it, both would turn red so fast, all way to the ears! Shinobu even swear she saw steams coming out from their ears! It was soooo~ adorable.

Kanao deserves sweet, loving guy, and so far Tanjiro-kun fits the bill.

But if he brokes her heart... he will learn exactly why some local gangster was afraid of Shinobu.

"Ara, please get out, stalker-san." She stopped walking and turned to the abandoned building that used to be a hotel decades ago. "To think you would eyeing a walking-by girl from such place... have you ever heard something called 'Shame'?"

There was only silence, and then,

"KyahAHaHAhahahAHahahaha!" A cacophony of voice laughed.

Shinobu was startled when something jumping out from the abandoned building, flying in the night sky.

It was a monster. A bird monster.

It has a face of human, but his hands were replaced with sings and his feet with bird claws. Long, drool-covered tongue rolling out from its open wide mouth.

The thing swoops down at her.

~X~

Uzui Tengen hummed as he chewed bubblegum and twirling some pebble he found at the roadside. It was his habit when he's annoyed.

Ugh. So what if he has an athletic body? He's not gonna be an athlete, ok? Sure, he loves the thrill of running through obstacles, the way wind blew past his ears, and the need to be fast, faster. But that doesn't mean he wants to be an athlete. He loves his privacy. He doesn't want to train day in and day out. He doesn't think he wants to shoulder the burden carrying a good name on his back. He does it because it was family traditions and he just loves it.

After all, parkour is more than enough.

Ahh, geez, he should have brought his headphones with him. Music always made him feel better—hm?

"What... is that?"

His ears picked up a strange sound. Curious, he followed it and found a girl huddles in a dead-end alley. Her face was buried between her knees, as her long hair fell to the ground in a tangled mess.

"...are you alright?" He asked. Something about her unsettles him. He then saw dried blood in her white sundress. "You're injured! I'll take you to the hospital! Hang in there, ok?" He reaches out to the girl—

"!"

Only for a clawed hand digging into his hand.

The girl raised her head. Showing her wide open mouth filled with fangs and completely red eyes without pupil.

~X~

Shinobu dodges it. She was too slow. The claw grazed on her cheeks and drawing some blood. The bird monster turned around. Shinobu's eyes widened. Too close! She can't dodge this one—!

SAAAA!

A bluish-gray blur zapped and blocked the bird monster. Shinobu can only watch with wide eyes as a figure wearing a boar mask blocked the monster's claw with dual serrated katana.

The monster realizing he can't get any further, began to retreat back to the sky.

"Oh No! YOU AIN'T GONNA RUN AWAY!" Her... savior?... shouted in deranged delight.

With speed and agility that should not possible for a human to have, he laughed and rushed to the abandoned building, running vertically on the wall and jumped. Brandishing the swords.

Shinobu can hear him saying, "Rip 'n Tear"

He swung his swords in X movement, beheading the monster in one go. Blood burst from the decapitated head.

The boar-masked boy landed in front of her. Paying no mind of the bloody body fell to the ground with loud SQUELCHH! and splattering blood everywhere. He just snorted (and did the mask's nose just move?) and sheathed back his sword.

Shinobu can make his sculpted muscled body, only covered in a sleeveless black bodysuit, with a fur-collared cape hanging from his shoulders, and black form-fitted pants with furred waist cape tucked into black boots with fur decoration. Based on the matching color and texture... boar fur?

"Oi!" The boar-masked... man? Boy?... said. "You're alright?"

~X~

Tengen tried to pull his arm free from she-demon. But it digs too deep. All he does was aggravating his injury.

His only warning was a thunderous rumble nearby, before a yellow blur passed right in front of him, slicing the demoness' arm nearly without harming him. The sudden attack, and freedom to move, startled Tengen he takes steps back and nearly landed flat on his ass.

In front of him, between him and the demoness, stood a young boy... a man? His sound was so confusing. It was both young and so old. The man turned his head slightly, and Tengen's breath hitched when he recognizes that uniform.

Black gakuran-style top underneath the orange vest, black coattail with orange-with-white-triangle cuffs, and black pants tucked into black boots with white lining. The songbird shaped mask with yellow thunder on the cheeks both conceals the identity and shouting it at the top of his lungs.

The young man inclined his head as if reassuring him, before turned back at the demoness. Brandishing thunder-patterned sword.

Then, Tengen vowed to never laugh at magic and supernatural anymore, because he swears he saw thunder crackling around the songbird-masked man before he vanished and reappeared in a blink. The demoness fell with her head severed from her body.

Like a Ninja.

The man sheathed his sword and turned to Tengen. His sound is soft gentle flute, with a touch of piano and violin. Concern.

"Let me see your wounds."

~X~

Sanemi cursed up a blue streak.

Whatever and whoever the sick fuck created this monster, he hoped they ROT IN THE HELL! The thing is butt-ugly and has thick skin! Sanemi had running to the construction site using the hole this creature caused, and pick up a metal pole as a means of defense.

It bends the second it hit the creature's skin.

Good thing he doesn't try kicking or punching it or he would have broken limb by now!

Sanemi spews some more profanities before throwing the useless thing to the monster's head to buy himself some more time, before grabbing whatever he can get his hand on.

A wooden plaque, several metal poles, bricks, ven bags of sand found themselves thrown to the monster. Sanemi sincerely wished he found something sharp. That would stick and caused more damage than blunt weapons.

He also mentally promises himself that if he gets out of this alive, he will hit gyms. And perhaps taking up Kendo. No. He definitely taking up kendo and find a way to carry disguised Katana around!

He saw something from the corner of his eye, and dodge. Narrowly avoiding the fist. He rolled on the ground and evade the hands that intend to crush him.

But the monster cornered him on a dead corner and the wall is too tall for Sanemi to try to jump over. The white-haired man cursed and looking around for escape as the monster drawing closer and...

BANG!

A single shot pierced the night.

The Monster roared in pain and stumbled back. Blood pouring from his left eye.

Sanemi can only gape as a tall figure landed down between him and the monster. Black cape fluttered.

Brandishing his gun, the man attacked the demon.

BANG! It hit the Monster in the shoulder. He dashed forward and reaching the Monster. BANG! He shot the monster on the chest. Dodging the outstretched hand, twisting his body in a very advance acrobatic move, and landed on the monster's shoulder. Gun pointed at the back of its head.

"Die and rot in the hell."

BANG!

He jumped off as the monster screaming and roaring in pain as it rotted inside out and turned into black ashes, scattered in the wind.

Sanemi should find repulsive, but all he can think is good riddance.

Without the monster around, he can take a good look at his savior. Black gakuran under a dark purple vest, purple-tinted black form-fitting pants tucked into black boots with purple line at the side, and black coattail with a fang-shaped pin. A black mask with red markings around the eyes and the cheeks.

"...are you alright?"

~X~

"Why?"

Kaminari tilted his head. "Why what?"

~X~

"What the fuck?"

Kage just laughed.

~X~

"May I ask a question?"

Ino helped her to stands up. "Ehh, sure."

~X~

In three parts of the town, from three different people, one question is asked.

"Why are you doing this?"

~X~

"HAHAHAHA! Why not?!"

~X~

"After all it's our duty...

~X~

"...as Phantom Thieves Slayers."

~X~X~XXX~X~X~

A/N:

AAAAAAAAAAAAA! Crazy plotbunny!

I was scrolling the Youtube and found this gem where Tanjiro-Zenitsu-Inosuke were Demon Slayer / Vigilante in Kimetsu Gakuen AU. They were saving Rengoku, Uzui, and Giyuu from demons. YES! They save the HASHIRA from Demons, with the Hashira were dumbfounded with 'WTF just happens' look in their face. It was just AAAAAAAAAAAAA! LOVE IT!

I just can't help but want to write one-shot about that video!

And then my brain throws in Phantom Thieves Idea and HEIST! And Kanao, Nezuko, Genya, and Yushiro join the main cast!

Why Brain, WHY?!

This is what happens when you can't write crack and still trying to! AAAAAAAARRRGHHHH!

Anyway, this may be one-shot, or a series if I found the inspirations to continue.

Thank you for reading!