Kevin could still remember how people used to look at him. The asocial Asian-heritage genius who would, no doubt, earn that damn scholarship. He never minded fitting into the typical stereotype. If his family couldn't afford all of the university expenses, he would earn enough to cover for them. He was left out of parties, weekends, and valuable self-reflection time, but it had never occurred to him he was missing anything. His grades could not take a hit.

Some people would have said he was working himself to death and should focus more on enjoying the time he had while he was still relatively free of responsibilities. Perhaps, while he sat in the silent bunker with all but one lamp turned off and a pile of ramen bowls heaped to one side, you expected Kevin to come to the same conclusion. He didn't. The grades had been important to him, as they should've been, because they'd shape the rest of his life. How people viewed him. What kinds of jobs he could get. If he was sent back in time to a reality where he never became a prophet, he would have continued pursuing his previous path.

Maybe there was another reason for it, but he would never admit it, not even to himself. It had entered his thoughts as an idea one day and been cast aside the next minute. Just because Channing had respected him for it and bonded with him over it didn't mean anything. Besides, they could have gotten along great anyways. She was awesome like that.

Had been awesome like that.

Sometimes Kevin found himself in the back of the Impala, glancing through the windows to try and catch a glimpse at what Crowley was doing. The warm midnight breeze would sweep some of his hair to the side when he rolled down the window, doing nothing to stop the uncontrollable shivers from racking his body. He knew what would happen every single time and yet, by the logic of dreams, he always managed to forget. He ran off while Crowley and another demon howled and burned from the holy water trap. Kevin didn't look back until Dean had the Impala's tires racing to catch up with one another. And when he finally turned around, it was always too late.

Every morning following that dream would be filled with excuses. She had obviously been possessed, he had every reason to think she was already dead, now she didn't have to live in constant fear of the supernatural. When Dean told him the likelihood of her being dead, he had instantly come up with a plan and pretended to fall for Crowley's tricks in order to get him doused with holy water.

That was the third time he trusted the Winchesters.

OOOO

On the fourth time, he couldn't do it any longer. His girlfriend was dead, and his mom was out there, unknowing of the world's hidden terrors. He wanted to check on her. He needed to be among the familiar again.

Coincidentally enough, he couldn't win by trusting OR distrusting the Winchesters. They'd been managing just fine until his mother thought it would be wise to contact a witch. He couldn't really blame her for it, but… he wished he could. Because at that point staying with Sam and Dean seemed more appealing. They might be a beacon for trouble, but at least they knew how to deal with it and avoided it as best they could.

At the end of the day, Kevin had sent his mom away and tried his best not to seem too inviting for Sam, Dean, or Castiel. He was better off eating quickly prepared, extremely high in preservatives food and having as little sleep as possible. Work went by much quicker when he wasn't constantly tricking demons or searching for a safe spot. And the quicker work went, the less he'd have to worry about demons overall. Dean and Sam might be able to close the Gates of Hell forever and he could still have a chance at grabbing a good education, or at least enjoying life. There wasn't anything to relish while thousands of demons dreamt of tearing his head from his shoulders. As it was, he'd been prohibited from really doing what he wanted and his mother bursts into tears every time he gets into a call with her.

OOOO

Kevin might not have been around the Winchesters, and he certainly didn't think he trusted them with his own wellbeing, but he had been trusting them with one thing in particular. He found out about this seed of trust when met with crushing disappointment.

The grade-A student had always assumed it would be over when he finished translating enough of the demon tablet. In hindsight, it was a naive notion. But they truly had come extremely close to locking all demons away, forever. If Sam and Dean had managed to do it, the world would have been much better off. He could have returned to a fairly normal life. There wouldn't be any more demons making deals. He'd trusted them to save the world like they had before, but this time, the angels fell.

They left him in the bunker, alone and without extra supplies while it went into full lockdown. They left him in the bunker, alone with Crowley. They left him in the bunker, alone to do their dirty work.

Sure, at times he felt a bit used and abused after everything that had happened, during what felt like such a long time. But overall he knew that Sam, Dean, other hunters like Garth… they had all been truer friends and allies than anyone he'd known at high school. He was part of the family now, as crazy as it could get.

So he trusted them once more.