Saturday April 4th, 1987

I've looked at this empty book now for nearly a week. Having met something beyond human on this year's Spring Equinox, or did I meet it some time near the end of 1997? Well it fixed me enough to know how broken I was. I initially thought to write the journal of my new second life. However, I know I must face my demons of what happened in 1997 if I have any chance of ensuring that nightmare is not repeated here. There are times I curse Daphne, for starting the healing of my broken mind, and other times I feel lucky for giving me this second chance. I warn myself that the initial chapters of the end of my old life are horrific.

I feel though I must record my ending of my old life. Try to address it as I believe I felt it then, with a rapidly broken mind. I do this to serve as a warning lest I ever forget, grow complacent, or don't think of all the others like me destroyed in that other time and place. The warning stands and should be shouted out loud and clear, never forget the evil that has at any time rose up unchecked. Never forget the price. Never forget the pain. Never, never, never forget!

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Monday September 1st, 1997 - Another place and time entirely

Chapter One

As I am sitting in a safe place in spring of this year a decade earlier, I'm cursing myself for having written the vile day above as the day I must write about. I could have written about the fun times during the summer holidays. I could have started with my first trip on this train on September 1st, 1994. But, no I chose this dire day as the starting point. The point I have to go to and relive how I felt the fall of that year. How I had clung to life desperately since this day of that year, but there I hadn't made it even into the following New Year.

I'd been shocked at the meeting at Hogsmead station, where I'd exited the Hogwarts Express to start my fourth year at Hogwarts. How stupid, and uncaring I'd been. The stories in the Daily Prophet had flipped over the summer before, and through my third year of school. Flipped from headlines of 'Potter is a Delusional Liar…' to ones stating 'Minister Cornelius Fudge Esquire retires from his post as Minister of Magic….'.

My big sister, Sophie was starting her seventh year, and she'd explained that as long as we were at Hogwarts and kept our heads down we'd be safe. She'd told me my first year, when Potter's name came out of the goblet, that this was the same as her prior three years in Hufflepuff. Potter would chase glory. Cause issues, and problems at school and we just needed to keep our heads down and study as only those who challenged or got too close to Potter ended up getting hurt. Potter was never hurt as he was now apparently 'The-chosen-one'. The prophet had even finally published this new hyphenated title over the summer holidays for the boy-who-lived.

Some probably sit back and say my sister and I reaped what we sowed by not helping Potter, but hindsight is twenty-twenty and considering I saw Potter return with Cedric's corpse at the end of my first year, I think I was justified in thinking Potter would take care of the problem and I'd be safe if I just kept my head down and stayed as far away from Potter as I could. Also what could I, with three years of magic knowledge beneath my belt, do against you-know-who? Finally, if we actually got to Hogwarts maybe something would have protected us. My sister and I, along with a couple of other muggleborn girls, and even one muggleborn boy, were taken though from Hogsmead station. We were given as prizes to Death Eaters that were being rewarded.

I was still trying to work out what was happening when the huge man holding my big sister twisted on his heel and with a crack that ripped through my heart, they both vanished into smoke. I stared as the smoke broke up and dispersed into the air. What the hell, had just happened to my sister? In less than one day I'd wish that my initial worried belief that the wizard had miscast and killed my sister and himself with a spell, was actually what had happened.

The fear in her eyes as she flung her hands toward me, as I cried her name, is the last vision of my sister alive that I have. Unfortunately, it is not the last vision I have of my sister. No the man who took me with what I later learned was side along apparition, Anders Jorn Travers, son of Torquil, some important ministry pureblood idiot, threw me into the room where my sister was laying, dead and broken on the room's bed the next morning after I'd been cowering, crying and breaking down upon realizing there was no escape from the unlit-unfurnished-dank-dungeon cell, I'd been locked up alone in last night.

Last night I'd collapsed in the corner of the stone walled and flagstone cell and wept. I have no idea if I slept, but all too soon the clanging of key in metal locks and I was grabbed and forced out of the cellar and into the house where the sun informed me it was the next morning. Grabbed by neck, hair, arm and yanked and pushed up two flights of stairs, and as I'm awaking to the horror of my sister's death I was let know that if I didn't make him happy he'd give me to Walden Macnair, the Death Eater that killed my sister. Macnair liked his toys to scream and none lasted long. Travers gloated how my sister didn't even last a night under Macnair's tender care.

I'd felt sorry for myself last night. Yelled, ranted, raged and worried what would happen to me being alone without my big sister, who should be there for me. She should be there to protect me. How selfish I was. Considering my last night was heaven compared to what my sister, Sophie Louise Roper, had been given.

In my fevered nightmares that were my respite from my daily horrors, my sister is there a broken bloody corpse yelling at me for not helping, for allowing this to happen to her just because I was the younger sister and thought she should protect me. Or Potter is there screaming at me for wearing a 'Potter Stinks' badge in my first year, for not stopping Umbridge in my second, or Malfoy and Snape in my third. As I allowed him to be tortured and hurt, isolated, and I never helped him. I only got what I deserved. As a mudblood I was lucky to be alive and I quickly worshiped Master Travers and begged for punishment. I pled to be hurt for not being better in pleasing him. How I was completely unworthy of his attention and hoped he got the Greengrass pureblood princesses, he, a Travers was owed.

Looking back on myself and how quickly I debased myself, and was convinced that the sun shone from Anders Jorn Travers arse, is sickening. How quickly my acting was replaced with the belief of being unworthy of his attention, advances, assaults punishments and beatings. I try to see where my acting changed to belief of reaping what I didn't even deserve, and I'm ashamed to say, I fear it was far too soon.

If the hat had sorted me Gryffindor maybe I'd have fought back. Ravenclaw and I might have bid my time and found a way to escape. Slytherin and I could have found away to capture his heart instead of giving my body to him and agreeing it was just a dirty mudblood's. That I agreed he should use and abuse it however he likes, but the hat didn't think I was worth much. It placed me in the house of the leftovers and obviously it wasn't due to me being loyal as what loyalty did I show Potter?

The worst days were those where Travers entertained. I'd convinced myself that he was the best wizard in the world and I was lucky for his attention, so I could handle him. It was harder to justify being given to others. Thankfully he didn't entertain too often.

The days had bled in to each other and I no longer cared what the date was. It was like awaking when his angered ranting demanded me to pay attention to what he needed me to do when I discovered it was already late November.

It was only his anger at my inability to listen to him that the fogged daymare and nightmare receded and thought sluggishly returned. Being struck across the room one too many times while simpering and begging to be used and told what he desired, forced me to actually engage thought as obviously my usual offering wasn't pleasing to him.

He was ranting again about the Greengrass family. I recalled how he needed to be the one to end the family. There was a witch that was important. What was her name again? She was a Travers, but of course she was a Travers, always the best witches and wizards were Travers, one of the sacred twenty eight. No they were the epitome of the sacred twenty eight that will be twenty seven when the vile disgusting barely better than mudblood Greengrass family finally collapsed to Anneke Kellen Travers best ever created, malediction blood curse.

"You useless mudblood I will give you to Macnair and let him use you as he did your hideous sister. Do you want that mudblood? To have your finger and toenails torn off, and then each digit individually crushed? Hear them as they're ground tarsal by tarsal, one after another? Your limbs torn from their sockets…

"Master I want to help you complete the curse of Anneke Kellen Travers…

I was struck across the room. "Mudblood you dare to think you are worthy of speaking my ancestor's name? Of thinking you can help?"

Knowing there was no way to answer without being hit. I tried to deflect instead. Sometimes it worked. "Master what can I do for you?" I begged groveling on my knees as I crawled with head bowed back to where he stood. He shouldn't have to waste his time having to walk to me if I was deserving or more punishment. Thankfully he was ranting again so hopefully I wouldn't be hit for a while. My right arm had hit the aga and been twisted around the unmoving stove. I was glad he didn't notice I wasn't putting any weight on it, as he always broke the opposite limb if he saw me limp. He didn't like unbalanced and ungraceful ugly things. Luckily, he did heal me, when he thought I had learnt my lesson.

"I wasn't invited on the Greengrass raid, and now only the two daughters are left but the Dark Lord didn't think me worthy of them. He thinks I should be happy with the gift he already gave me. Do you think I'm only worth you?"

"No master I'm only a useless mudblood and the Dark Lord should gift you with both of the pureblood Greengrass's…

I was knocked into the floor hard. "You dare to question the Dark Lord!" with spittle flying he began ranting how a mudblood couldn't think to dare question the Dark Lord. At least I was hit to the left as I think my right arm couldn't have survived being knocked into the tiled kitchen floor. Carefully getting off my left side without letting him notice my right arm's injury I began internally begging he would get to the point and tell me what he needed me to do while kneeling and quietly looking with lowered eyes and closed mouth.

"In our entire history there are only two curses that have exceeded the thirteen year arithmetic limit. The Anneke Kellen Travers malediction curse designed and cast on Rychard Jaimes Greengrass in 1637 for marrying Izabel Katherine Guant in 1632 after breaking the marriage contract between the Greengrass and Travers family, and the Dark Lord's curse of the defense against the dark arts class. The Dark Lord's was only cast forty-four years ago so the Travers curse is the longest lasting curse and I told the Dark Lord the secret to break the arithmetic limit.

There was fervor in the eyes of Travers as he gloated. "I told how the one cursed renews the curse open themselves. The Travers family ensured a Travers was born within a few years of every male Greengrass born. Any older Travers was reminded to avoid the Greengrass heir while the younger one was tasked to verbally only, bait and annoy their target from their first visit on." Travers began giggling and chanting a rhyme.

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"Wands and staffs, a curse may re-cast,

but taunts don't justify a bully's attack.

Spells and drafts may hurt 'till healed,

but allow the curse on a bully t' be sealed.

Sticks and stones may break my bones,

but its words that'll end, an ancient House."

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Was he mad, I wondered? Then immediately started to think how I could get my master to punish me for such an evil thought. I waited and calmed my breathing as my master giggled over some joke I didn't understand.

"You will get the elder Greengrass sister for me next week. We will have to wait for next summer for the last, as the Malfoys will be too busy during the Yule break, and they usually encourage staying at school in the Ostara break on OWL and NEWT years." He glares at me and I nod slowly. Thankfully that seems acceptable as he carries on. "Why the Malfoys are allowing her to stay at Hogwarts and take her OWLs? At least Selwyn has pulled the elder. Though why his work with the snatchers, most of whom are mere half-bloods, is worth more than mine keeping the European Ministries from rallying and finding wizards on the continent willing to join the Dark Lord…

My master took a deep breath and I knew yet another emotion was finally driving my Lord's thoughts. Seeing his leer at me I at last knew what was expected and could give it too. Quickly I pulled my arms out of the sleeves of my torn peasant blouse and freed my breasts for him to ogle and use. With the blouse loosely bunched up around my waist, and as he opened his cloak I licked my lips to moisten them and bowed my head opening my mouth as he thrust my head into his groin. Releasing one hand, but not the pressure from the back of my head from his second hand, his first twisted, pinched and roughly pulled on his two toys causing me to gasp in pain while chocking around my over stuffed throat and mouth.

He released me to breathe and explained what he needed. "I will have Selwyn visit next week mudblood and you must catch his interest. You must be sweet and enticing enough that he desires to take you home with him for the evening." I nodded my head while swirling my teasing stuck-out tongue around him. "I will be giving you a fake tooth with a space expansion charm. It will have a bracelet and a dirk inside. If you cut yourself removing or replacing the dirk inside it and leave blood at the scene I will give you to Macnair. I will be disappointed if any trace of Selwyn's death comes back to me." My master relished in getting hold of what he felt was already owed him and forced me back down. I felt the increased swelling that was the only warning to be prepared to swallow.

After Master straightened his cloak I put the blouse back on properly, covering the new purple bruises that masked the older yellow ones. "In his house you will entertain Selwyn 'till he is exhausted and falls asleep. Remove the dirk from the tooth and slit his throat. Return the dirk to your rear tooth and remove the bracelet. You must then attach the bracelet around my Greengrass's right wrist. Make sure it is the right." I nod and he is happy after getting me to repeat back all of his commands. "Having attached the bracelet to her right wrist, you will hold the bracelet and say 'vengance'." I nodded wondering how he would add the space expansion charm to one of my teeth.

He stood up and crossed the room to the table where he picked up a metal instrument that had lain there. It looked like a narrow pair of plain, all metal pliers. It wasn't there yesterday, and I had wondered what it was when I'd seen it earlier. Then of course realized it was unimportant unless my master said it was, and promptly ignored it for the rest of the day. "Mudblood, beg me to pull out one of your teeth.

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