Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin or any of the characters.

Gingeraffealene: Well, I do see people following this, so at least I think people do read it.

Taz: Imagine being one of the kids. Would your parents believe you?

Blue Jean: I was thinking like the alcohol just doesn't stay in your bloodstream. Then again, I don't know much about drinking alcohol.

I feel like there's an increase in quality this chapter. Let me know if you agree. Also, the Mergana has been cranked up to eleven.

Merlin picked up a fork and tried to stab his sausage when his plate moved. "Very funny, Morgana."

"That never gets old." Morgana tried to drink from a cup when the water splashed her in the face.

"Fair enough," Morgana said. "But I can make your face wet too. In a way you can't refuse."

"How?" Merlin asked.

"If my face touches it."

"You're right. I can't refuse that."

"So that's an idle game. And the idea is that you do nothing while your resources accumulate," Morgana said.

"Yup," Michael replied.

"You people these days are too bored. Go conquer a kingdom or something."

"There's the bell. As you know, tomorrow is the test, and sadly we will be done with Camelot. I read some of those temperatures you handed me. I'm quite sure nobody in here actually wants the temperature to be one thousand degrees or negative one hundred degrees Fahrenheit, so I threw some of them out. Well, you'll find out what it is tomorrow. Shall we begin?"

"I think in this class I just learned to believe everything I read about Camelot," Daniel said. "I should go read more about it."

"Now you're going to read literally everything instead of almost everything," Sylvia replied.

"Hold on. Not everything!" Morgana said.

Merlin and Morgana were taking a stroll through a village when they heard a man shouting at two children.

"Don't wander out too far or Morgana will get you."

What's the meaning of that? Morgana thought at Merlin.

"Hey!" Merlin shouted. "Who's Morgana?"

"You don't know who Morgana is? She's an evil witch who kidnaps children and feeds them to her dragon!"

Merlin began laughing hysterically.

Stop it or I'll feed you to Aithusa!

You know I can command her not to eat me, right?

"Stop laughing! Morgana is real, you know."

"I know."

"Are you not afraid of her?"

You were afraid of me! Oh no! Emrys! My destiny and my doom!

Shut up, Merlin! Destiny I could see, but the doom part I was having trouble figuring out until just now!

"Such a fine lady as you should be careful, she might get you too."

Merlin bent over laughing. "Hear that? Morgana might get you! Watch out, she's very mean and scary and will feed you to her dragon."

"She does indeed feel like being very mean and very scary right now. The children don't need to worry, though. She just feels like casting some very nasty spells on her husband."

The man was confused. "She's married? How? Oh, I feel for the poor soul she is married to."

Merlin put a hand on his chest. "I know! My deepest sympathy goes out to him."

"Mine too. He is a very dead man."

"I'm kidding! I'm sure Morgana isn't that bad."

"How are you sure?"

"Ask her! She knows a lot about Morgana." Merlin gestured with both arms towards Morgana.

"I do. I, um, happen to be very close to Morgana."

"Very close to Morgana?"

"Me too! She's quite nice once you get to know her. She probably doesn't feel like doing terrible things to her husband."

"She will think about it."

"Is she really planning to take over Camelot?"

"She was, but she decided she's rather fond of her brother."

"How do you know this?"

"We'll, let's just say I see her face in the mirror often."

"See her face in the mirror… you mean…"

"Mhmm."

"Well, um, she's not mad at me, is she?"

"No! She would just like to know where you get your information."

"Lot has been sending messengers across the border and that's what they've been telling us."

"Thank you for the information." Morgana's eyes narrowed dangerously and her lips twisted upward. "She will come back and reward you with the ring on Lot's finger."

"Something tells me she means the ring and the finger," Merlin said.

"We can't finish without hearing more about the dragon Aithusa. You barely talked about her," Sylvia complained.

"Yeah. We only got to hear about the grumpy one," Daniel added.

"Aithusa, thank you for saving Morgana. What I don't understand is why you did it," Merlin said.

"A dragon's allegiance is to the Dragonlord. I couldn't let the Dragonlord's future wife die, now could I? Oh, Morgana, the rants I listened to from you about how you wanted Merlin's head when I knew you would end up with it."

Morgana smiled. "I ended up with the whole Merlin. Much better. If it were just the head, it wouldn't kiss me back, now would it?"

"Wait, you knew?" Merlin said.

"I did. She would go on and on about all the horrible things she wanted to do to you. Kill Arthur, take over his kingdom, torture Merlin, blah blah blah. It's really funny how obsessed you were with Merlin. You were talking about cutting off his hands, then when I fell asleep I had a vision of you holding hands. You were talking about lighting him on fire, then I had a vision of the two of you cuddling next to a fire."

"Why didn't you tell me? I could have at least mentally prepared myself for the fact that my most trusted friend won't protect me from her any longer!" Arthur exclaimed.

"I have no allegiance to the king. That's Kilgharrah's thing. Also, I foresaw Morgana having lots of fun with you."

"You are spending far too much time around Morgana."

"Come on, Aithusa, we can go find another kingdom without magic!"

"This is not an activity your king approves of! Don't do it!"

"Drat." Morgana hung her head. "Now we'll have to wait for Arthur not to be here before we do it."

"Disobeying your king? That's treason!"

"I've committed treason so many times, what's one more?"

"Merlin, I'm just worried about what will happen if another kingdom's first impression of Camelot is Morgana."

"Right, that might be a problem."

"Merlin! Are you saying I give a bad impression?"

Merlin and Morgana were riding Aithusa.

"Did Arthur send you to babysit me?"

"He sent me to make sure she doesn't sully the fine reputation of Camelot. What if she lights the whole kingdom on fire?" Merlin switched to an Arthur voice.

"She would never do that," Merlin said in a Merlin voice.

"She causes chaos everywhere she goes!" they said together in an Arthur voice before falling over in laughter.

"Aithusa, you've been awfully quiet. Got anything to say?" Merlin said.

"I didn't want to spoil the moment, but since you asked so nicely, I'll tell you about Morgana when she still hated you! One day she was ranting about how she wanted to slowly drop you into lava, but she didn't pay attention to where she was going."

"Aithusa…"

"She tripped over a log and fell face first into a pile of my poop."

"Aithusa!"

Merlin and Morgana landed. "Hi! I'm from Camelot and I'm here to show you some magic."

"Magic is banned! You'll die if any patrols see it!"

"Oh, Merlin, it looks like I have another kingdom to conquer."

"Or maybe we can do some nice things for them and then have a chat with their king about legalizing magic?"

"And if that doesn't go well, then I conquer the kingdom?"

"Mhmm."

"Marriage is all about compromise, I guess. I'm not used to it," Morgana said.

"Morgana? Not used to compromise? I can't believe it."

"I bet that kingdom got conquered. I bet a lot of kingdoms got conquered, actually," Adrielle said.

"That is true."

"There. I do believe we're ready to head over for peace negotiations. Morgana? Oh no, where is she?"

"Oh, Morgana said she was heading over to start the negotiations."

"What? Morgana is? Merlin! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Umm, I forgot."

"Forgot? How could you forget such a thing?"

"Well, I was going to tell you, and then Morgana kissed me."

"She did that on purpose! You can't fall for it!"

"I can't wait for the next time so I can fall for it again."

"You need a better memory!"

"I do! Then she'll have to kiss me multiple times before I forget."

"Merlin!"

"I'm here to negotiate, representing Camelot," Morgana said.

"Interesting," the king said. "I would have thought there would be more of you."

"Arthur always says 'There's only one Morgana and that's already more than enough.'"

"Then let's begin."

"Don't we need a table?"

"Hmph. Camelot isn't worth a table."

Morgana crossed her arms. "Well, I was going to be fine with not changing the borders. But you're very rude, you know!"

"Not changing the borders? Of course, you're a woman, so you don't know anything about negotiations. The most important factor is army sizes. Our army is four times the size of yours. I expect many concessions, then I might just not invade Camelot."

"Very well." Morgana flew down and shrunk the army. "Now our army should be bigger."

"What did you do to my army?"

"They're about six inches tall now. Now that we have the bigger army, we get concessions from you, right?"

"That's not how this works!"

"Well, I didn't know that! I'm a woman! I don't know anything about negotiations! I didn't know you could change the rules whenever you feel like it! Does the smaller army win now?"

The king shouted at his guards. "Kill her!"

Morgana froze them. "Hold on. I didn't know killing the negotiating party was allowed!" She levitated the king and held him out the window.

"Help!" The king decided he really did not like the smirk on Morgana's face.

"Let's talk about the borders, shall we?"

Morgana appeared in front of Arthur. "Soooo… I've got good news and bad news."

"What's the good news?"

"Camelot is bigger now!"

"And the bad news?"

"I may have pissed off another king."

"Morgana!"

"He started it!"

"How much bigger is Camelot?"

Morgana fetched a map. "This big."

"Morgana! You might as well have conquered the kingdom!"

"All right, I guess I'll go back then."

"Wait! I don't actually want you to do it!" Arthur facepalmed. "She's gone."

"Yes, Sally?"

"I just want to hear about romantic Merlin so I can get ideas about what to do with Jeremy."

Merlin and Morgana stood in a forest.

"Oh, Merlin, this is such a beautiful spot."

"I take note of these things when I follow you out of the castle to see what evil plot you're scheming with Morgause."

"Oh, Merlin, you should've just told me the reason you poisoned me. Then we could have been together sooner."

"Let me make sure there isn't any poison left." He pulled her in for a kiss.

Two bandits barged through the trees. "We'll be taking the lady's jewelry."

Morgana scowled. "Do you mind?" she asked, creating a circle of fire.

"Uh, never mind, we'll be on our way."

"Oh, no. You wanted my jewelry! I insist you take it."

One bandit screamed as a ring twisted itself painfully onto his finger and watched in horror as it began rotting. Another felt a necklace strangle him and fought desperately to take it off.

"Does it suit your tastes?"

"Please! No more!"

Some more men arrived.

"This is where our scouts went."

"You idiots! Don't you know who this is?"

Morgana returned the items to herself. "Do you want my jewelry too?"

"Definitely not!"

"If I catch you stealing jewelry again, I will give you mine, do you understand? Now leave."

"Where were we? Ah! I was going to check your lips for poison."

A group of men crashed through the bushes.

"Oh, come on!"

"We're on patrol! Hey! Merlin! You want to hear about the guy we found who wanted to prove he could find his way home from the tavern drunk and blindfolded?"

"Sounds very interesting," Merlin said.

"Oh! Are we interrupting something?"

"Yes. You. Are," Morgana said pointedly.

"Well, uh, we'll tell you later, Merlin, we'll be on our way before we get any spells thrown at us, right, men?"

"So, we were going to continue," Morgana said.

They kissed.

"Tomorrow is the test on my brother. I can use exactly the same test the textbook gives. But I'll be looking for very different answers, of course. See you tomorrow!"