Many say I do not possess emotions, according to them, I'm just like a robot: cold, unfeeling, inhuman. On the contrary, to popular belief, I care too much about unimportant situations. I made it my mission to steal the journals of others to know their interests. Mello, he wrote about L, and without a doubt, he didn't forget to rant about me. I'm honored.

In the beginning, an alias was chosen for me: Near.

The most ironic part of it is I usually seem so far away from everyone, enveloped within my world of toys and information crammed within my being.

Why do I care?

Good question.

It may be because, somehow, I still crave human interaction. In some way...I dislike being on my own and knowing nobody likes me. People hate me all because I am different because I can solve things faster than them and with no mistakes or errors. This gave me the responsibility to succeed L and, though this gives me a purpose, it also gives me a great curse. I will never be able to interact with the other children at whammy's due jealousy from their side. I want to be part of them, I want to have friends, I crave to have relationships, I wish to help with each trouble they have and understand what emotions are.

I understand A much more than I did before. She wrote something and hid it under the floorboards. It was a treasure I still hide under my mattress.

Now, this recount might not be as important or as interesting as Mello's diaries about L's past cases (I read them Mello. I am not amused by your mocking and insulting me before starting the actual plot). I decided to write something more personal in these humble, insignificant, white pages that might as well entertain you for a few moments.

After all, this was made because Roger forced us to make these little journals with stories and experiences. I believe Mello chose (as always) to write about some of the many cases L solved, while Matt made it about Blue.

Though, dear reader, this was made to vent my emotions and experiences that I, as surprising as it sounds, have had at some point in this neutral life of mine. I do hope that if this is found you are discreet about what you read in here for I shall not make myself responsible for what might happen.

Now I do believe it is time to give my name: Nate River, please do call me Near, I prefer it that way.

I shall be the narrator and guide to this journey in memory lane.

I will tell you a bit about my history before my story came to be. I believe it is another thing I need to get out of my chest.

If I recall correctly, I was at least four years old when I first entered Whammy's House, the orphanage created in order to keep children such as myself in check. On the outside of the snowy neveranding background, stood a relatively normal structure. At the time, I was nothing but a frightened infant who had just been taken from his family after watching their murders. That day, I swore i would never to show the true emotions within me, I would not let people gain the privilege of looking into my weaknesses.

Whammy's House was a fascinating place filled with my favorite things: Toys and books. Puzzles were the thing they lacked. This made me frustrated to no end after I solved all the 123 puzzles there were in the playroom. Each one in record time, from the simplest of 4 to the more complex 5000 pieces puzzles.

Every class I studied hard to exceed and deserve my place in the orphanage. Occasionally I would feel the stares of the children muttering about me, and as I grew I got a growing obsession with the blond boy who glanced at me most of the time. At first, it looked like he wished to kill me, murder me in the same spot I stood. But then he started to sit outside my door talking about relatively normal things, he would never open it though.

We would spend hours at night just letting everything out. I would listen to every word of his troubled speeches until he had to run before his roommate got suspicious. It was our little secret...something nobody could know...

It was as if the nighttime turned him into a kinder person. We call him Mello...The second to succeed L and one of the people who has confused me the most in my entire life.

I shall leave this chapter here, for there is not much to say about my boring life. I apologize for not being able to provide some of the details most were interested in...Like the death of my progenitors. But this has been all I have been able to recall...then again I am not sure anyone shall ever read this.