Warnings: Crude humor, immaturity, and language. Many events are based on in-game lore, others based on the shenanigans of Ink and Song. Alwynn, Flabbyfart, and Jasynn belong to Song. Irideon, Eliza, and Tophis belong to Ink. All other characters and the world belong to NCSOFT.
It was after a bad batch of potions turned half of the Sanctum Expeditionary Forces into purple amphibians that the notice board first appeared. Nobody was sure who put it there, but it was widely understood that what rules written on it must be followed as its unspoken authority descended upon Elysea.
This notice board became known among the Elyos as "The List". Musings abounded about who the seemingly omnipotent author of The List was. Some suspected that Governor Fasimedes was behind it all. Others thought Lady Ariel herself was the mastermind. As the List became more established, multiple people began posting, and it became quite confusing. It remained a source of discussion in taverns and inns across Atreia.
The List has since been archived and documented. Without further ado:
Things that are not allowed in Elysea
1. The spiritmaster known as Irideon is not allowed to practice witchcraft.
1a. No, that's not alchemy, it's WITCHCRAFT.
2. All humans and daevas suffering from "ribbitification" are to report to the Lyceum immediately for transformation reversal and aether cleansing.
2a. Inggison Illusion Fortress is not an acceptable alternative.
3. Intentionally crashing the trade broker is a crime, not a recreational activity. Shugos can and will press charges against perpetrators.
4. Kaisinel, your enthusiasm is appreciated, but Gelkmaros does not need a makeover.
5. Likewise, troops are limited to one educational field trip per century to an approved destination. The Expeditionary Forces are soldiers, not schoolchildren, and we all know what happened LAST time they were taken out to "expand their knowledge".
6. Under no circumstances is the cleric Alwynn to come into contact with the Empyrean Lord Vaizel.
7. The political cult "LEPHAR IS RAPHEL" has been deemed heretical and is to be disbanded immediately or face military interference from Sanctum.
8. There is no such thing as "organized underwear raids" and there never will be.
8a. This applies to raids conducted both for and in underwear.
9. In light of the ribbitification epidemic, witchcraft is now illegal.
10. Under no circumstance is the cleric Alwynn to come into contact (visual or otherwise) with Empyrean Lords, period.
11. The Daeva so called Flabbyfart is forbidden to host any public event of any kind inside or in proximity of Sanctum.
12. Despite the fur, Asmodians are not to be kept as pets.
12a. "It followed me home" is not a valid excuse. It was trying to kill you.
13. Due to an unexpectedly high body count, the Poisonous Bubblegut is now considered an extreme hazard. If you have been physically or emotionally harmed due to a quest involving the Bubblegut, you may be eligible for financial compensation.
14. Flabbyfart may not start his own religious sect.
15. The annual Festival of Brax will not be held in Sanctum ever again.
16. NOTICE: "Brax Queen" "Hunk of Sexy" "Kaisinel's No.1 Fangirl" and "His Supreme Royal Highness the Archduke of Flatulence" have all been denied status as official titles.
17. The chanter Eliza is not to come within a two hundred metres radius of the aethertech Jasynn.
18. For the safety of the public, Irideon is to have his spell books confiscated until further notice.
19. All members of the Fleetfoot Messenger Corps. are to enroll in a basic geography class and provide proof of participation by the fall.
20. Irideon may not write his own spell books until article 18 is lifted.
21. All flyers advertising Flabbalicious Moustache Grow N' Groom Seminars are to be taken down and disposed of in a timely manner. All meetings scheduled to be held in the Lyceum every other Thursday have been cancelled.
22. The sale of shugo-shaped training dummies is to cease immediately.
22a. No, it doesn't matter if they overcharge. IT IS TO CEASE.
23. Whoever's grand idea it was to hold a breastplate grabbing contest will be responsible for both paying for the collateral damage and rebuilding process and reimbursing the five hundred injured daevas for soul healing costs.
23a. Don't even bother hiding because the housing officer knows where you live.
24. It is not appropriate for unranked daevas to make lewd remarks about Lady Yustiel.
24a. Or Lady Ariel.
24b. Or Lord Nezekan.
24c. Or Lord Kaisinel.
24d. Have you no sense of self preservation?!
25. There is no height requirement to ride the wind streams. Stop teasing.
26. All soul-eating porguses are to be kept on a leash at all times.
27. Clodworms are outlawed as pets due to a recent and unnatural increase in wild population.
28. Due to repeat extensive damages, the Seraphim Lord Kaisinel is barred from all taverns in Sanctum.
28a. There will be no amendments made to this law under any circumstances ~Lady Ariel
29. NOTICE: After extensive debate, Sanctum has determined that the gunslinger class is not affiliated with the Lepharist Revolutionaries.
30. Dating Asmodians is never advised. There are plenty of beautiful Elyos men and women to choose from.
30a. The Seraphim Lords are under vows of chastity and therefore not on the menu.
30b. This applies to the daevas Ekboros, Paris, Alwynn, and Tophis especially.
31. The List of Rules does not apply to Lord Vaizel.
32. Rule 31 does not exist.
33. If Lord Kaisinel is not allowed to beautify Gelkmaros, then Lady Yustiel is not allowed to travel to Morheim to "help repopulate the mosbears", whatever THAT means.
33a. Well if Lady Yustiel can't help the mosbears, then Lord Nezekan should be made to cease his frequent trips to Beluslan to "check for holes in the Asmodian defenses." We all know what security he's REALLY trying to breach, don't we?
33b. Yustiel doesn't know what she's talking about. And who was gallivanting around with an armorsmith before he dumped her, hm? Not the Lady of Life, surely.
33c. And all those butterflies infesting Silentera have to go.
33d. To the victor goes the spoils. The butterflies stay.
33e. As the Seraphim Lord of Freedom, Lord Vaizel is free to do whatever he wants. All rules stating otherwise are invalid.
33f. VAIZEL, NO!
34. Due to excessive complaints, all Grow N' Groom Seminar live advertising is to be held outside of major travel hubs.
is responsible for the five hundred and fourteen ribbits in the Protector's Hall needs to remove them immediately.
35a. All of them, not just half.
35b. How did you even get them all on the elevator anyway?
35c. Nevermind, I don't want to know. I just want them gone. -Fasimedes
36. A general notice to all those preparing for the Harvest Revel: Due to the high-strung nature of a number of war veterans, it is ill-advised for humans or daevas to dress up as Asmodians.
37. NOTICE: Due to the bizarre disappearance of an entire shipment of clothing, daevas are limited to one pair of Guardian Leggings per purchase until restocking.
38. Public nudity is indecent. We didn't think we'd have to say this, but it seems some people didn't get the message.
39. The refusal of a merchant to sell explosive blast powder to a certain individual is not cause for a violent uprising.
39a. Please keep in mind all merchants have the right to refuse service to any individual unless based upon race/gender discrimination. Cases may be filed in the Hall of Prosperity.
39b. The Daeva Flabbyfart has been banned from making such cases as the official court of Sanctum had reviewed five concerning the denied sales of forty eight pounds of Lime Green hair dye per month and found the merchants actions to be justifiable and within reason. The merchant does not want to prevent Flabbyfart from "winning the Sanctum's Most Fabulous award" because Flabbyfart's hair "is too fabulous and he is jealous!" No one needs that much hair dye and we all know he just uses it for his Groom'N'Grow seminars.
39c. Which are now held in the Verteron citadel every Sunday from 6-8pm!
39d. VAIZEL! This is not an advertisement pamphlet!
39e. What, I found his seminars most educational! Just wanted to spread the word ;)
40. To remedy the leggings shortage, all tailors are to craft five pairs of pants each and deliver them to Brigade General Versetti immediately.
41. Rule 40 is nullified. Versetti can make them himself.
42. NOTICE: The official Soul Healer uniform is changing. Sanctum has decided the old theme of "monastery chic" got boring and will be replaced with the newer, juicier "sexy nurse" style. All soul healers are to pick up your new clothing from the Verteron Citadel as soon as possible.
42a. This is required.
42b. THIS IS NOT REQUIRED. ALL UNIFORMS WILL REMAIN UNCHANGED.
42c. All uniforms are changed. Sexy nurse is required.
42d. Sexy nurse uniform is not up to regulation standards and will not be worn when on-duty.
42e. Can I wear it off-duty?
42f. VAIZEL I AM GOING TO BANISH YOU.
43. The spiritmaster Irideon is prohibited from the consumption of alcohol.
43a. No, it doesn't matter if he is of age now, he wasn't when he ascended and that's all that we care about.
43b. Tophis! NO! Irideon, that is NOT FRUIT JUICE. DO NOT DRINK IT.
43c. ALWYNN STOP ENCOURAGING HER!
44. The Daeva known as Flabbyfart is not to coerce the event staff into distributing costumes of himself for the Harvest Revel. If he wishes to "spread the Flabulous", he must do so on his own time.
45. Throwing orbs at fellow Elyos is not a conductive way of expressing displeasure. They ARE weapons, and they DO hurt.
46. Kaisinel, I don't know why in Atreia you would feel the need to stockpile over five thousand pairs of leggings, but it's going to have to stop.
46a. Don't argue with me on this. We have solid evidence proving that you were the mastermind behind the lost shipments and raided warehouses. The Merchant's Union has threatened to press charges if your strange and illegal behavior continues.
47. It is ill advised to eat fish that has been previously used as weaponry.
48. One cannot become a daeva by simply walking up to a Seraphim Lord and demanding it.
48a. Vaizel is lying. There has been no evidence showing that it is sexually transmitted.
49. It is ill advised to eat with a fork that was previously used as weaponry.
50. No, Irideon. That's the wrong faerie queen. For the safety of us all, PLEASE put the Lord of Illusions back where you found him.
51. Lady Yustiel has requested that people not dress as the deceased for the harvest revel. Whether this extends to Anubite costumes or not is still awaiting clarification.
52. NOTICE: The "OP GUNNERFORM!*!*!*!*!" candies being sold by suspicious shugos are fakes. Daevas are strongly advised against purchase, as the true effects of the candies are hazardous to the well-being of the consumer and all those near it.
53. Irideon, you were ordered to return Lord Kaisinel to his home. Why did you bring him back here?
53a. Fasimedes, I hate to inform you...but THAT IS NOT KAISINEL.
(The list is obscured by a hastily posted notice, scorched and messily written)
URGENT NOTICE: ALL HUMANS AND DAEVAS ARE TO EVACUATE SANCTUM IMMEDIATELY. PLEASE HEAD TOWARDS THE NEAREST TELEPORTER OR AIRSHIP DOCK IN AN ORDERLY FASHION.
(Sometime later, after the partial reconstruction of Sanctum, the List appeared once again, reprinted and tacked to a shiny new bulletin board. There is a new addition to the original 53 suggestions, as well as space and additional parchment to write more.)
54. World bosses are not allowed in Sanctum.
54a. This includes, and has always included the WITCH QUEEN MODOR.
54b. Irideon is no longer permitted to attempt to rescue ANYTHING and is barred from participation in any requests pertaining to the Nightmare Circus.
55. Shugos will not be paid overtime for hours not worked, and no amount of insistence or coercion from any union will change this.
56. Shugos will now receive a ten percent wage bonus and the equivalent of two hours' pay in addition to normal wages.
57. Whoever managed to erect the fifty-foot-tall Flabbyfart statue in the middle of Pandaemonium is to receive an immediate promotion.
57a. Somehow unsurprisingly, the daeva "Flabbyfart" has been promoted to Elyos Soldier Rank One.
58. Seeing if the Durable Yamnetes lives up to its name is perfectly acceptable. Seeing if the Daeva of Water can be liquified is treason.
59. All novels written by "Hot4uCutie" are works of fiction and to be regarded merely as heretical stains on Elysean literature, not fact.
59a. Thei r totes troo! My soarses r verie relailble!
60. Nobody needed to see Flabbyfart like that.
61. Though it was a nice thought, leggings are not traditional trick-or-treat material. Due to the havoc it wreaked on the tailoring industry, Sanctum asks that all treats be confined to candies and food items.
61a. Kaisinel this especially applies to you. Why couldn't you just hand out drakie candies like everybody else?
61b. Vaizel, don't get any ideas.
62. Daevas are not to ingest dimensional fragments. The effects of this are not yet known, and it may permanently alter the consumer's existence within the dimensional plane.
62a. But if you have done so please do tell what happened. I would be most intrigued to hear about it. -Kaisinel
63. Empyrean Lords are not to encourage dangerous or destructive behavior among their followers. We don't need any more casualties.
64. Holding shugos for ransom does not work. Please refrain from doing so, as we need to keep on good relations with the Black Cloud Traders.
65. The sale of "shugo-fur coats" is to stop immediately, nyerk! Is very disrespectful to shugo, even if only faux. But authentic shulack-fur coats are on sale from the Wind Breeze merchants, akakakakakakak! Cheap! Better deal than from Black Cloud, nyerk! Buy fast or lose kinah!
66. The List is not an advertising board. Only approved individuals may post on it.
67. (There is a large patch of black scribble, obviously inking something out. Faint traces of a crude drawing can be made out around the edges)
67a. The List is also not a site for posting your erotic art. Be eternally glad Yustiel and Nezekan never saw that.
68. NOTICE: Uncensored doujins of the following works, "The Niimf in the Leevz", "The Windz Callign", "The Wite Lotis", and "A Dimond Luv" are available for purchase and signing at New Heiron Gate. Get your copies today! Also keep a look out for the newest series by Hot4uCutie, "12 Way Luv". Each installment will focus on a single Empyrean Lord and their steamy scandals and krall pink love scenes and stuff! The first book, unveiled at the book signings, will be called "Leder an Liyfe", starring Lady Yustiel! 3 3 3 See u soon!
69. THIS. IS. NOT. FOR. ADVERTISING!
70. We humbly demand that Irideon send the demon-spawning abomination he refers to as "Noodles" back to the twisted dimension he got it from.
-okay :(
-Rid
-UPDATE: Noodles says no.
-UPDATE TWO: We had a talk,and Noodles says maybe. What's a virgin, and where might I find three of them?
-UPDATE THREE: Noodles did NOT want extra-virgin ulmus oil.
-UPDATE FOUR: She liked the brommeltini much more, even though I don't think it fit the
criteria...
-UPDATE FIVE: Noodles has laid eggs.
-UPDATE VI:
-UPDATE VII:
-UPDATE EIGHT: hEL p
-UPDATE IX:
-NOTICE-
LOST: ONE LARGE BIRD. HAS MANY ARMS. SAYS IT ENJOYS EATING "VIRGIN". MAY HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM. IF EITHER HEAD IS SPOTTED, PLEASE MAIL IRIDEON AT NO. 1^28 ROCKROOF STUDIOS ASAP. Thank you!
70a. Nobody help him.
71. Tentacles do NOT make everything better.
72. Aether jelly is for eating, not wearing. I know it looks like a little hat, but at least make an effort to save your bizarre behavior for your studio.
73. That drakie from Dark Poeta is cute, but you may not under any circumstances keep it as a pet. It will grow.
74. If a monster is dangerous enough for the other Balaur to lock it up and throw away the key, you are not seek it out and unleash it upon the world in the name of archaeology ever again.
74a. "We just wanted to know what it was" is not a valid reason. At all. Stormwing could have destroyed Balaurea.
75. Breeding klaw with the intention to raise an army is not allowed. All monsters will be surrendered to the Kaisinel Academy by nightfall.
75a. Yes, they will be used for target practice. Now stop whining and hand them over.
76. All disputes between the Daevas of Life, the Wisplight Legionaries, and the Sanctum Expeditionary Force will be handled in a polite and civilized manner. Lord Kaisinel and myself will conduct our arguments and sort out the situation in private. -Empyrean Lady Yustiel
76a. My legionaries do not answer to you, Yustiel. Regardless of who you take your orders from, rest assured that your subordinates will stop interfering with mine, one way or another. -Kaisinel, Empyrean Lord of Illusions
76b. Was that a threat, Kass? -Lady Yustiel
76c. Merely some friendly advice. -Kaisinel
77. This is a reminder that attacking fellow Elyos outside of dueling is treasonous conduct. This applies to EVERYONE.
78. NOTICE: Following the Noodles Incident, Irideon is hereby removed from active duty and placed under supervised house arrest until we can figure out exactly what he did and how we can make sure that it never happens again.
76d. KAISINEL WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!
76e. Having problems, Yustiel?
76f. We are not finished with this.
76g. How very disappointing.
79. Irideon is to be allowed to use the Sanctum alchemy lab for the purpose of creating an antidote to combat Inggison's terrible food poisoning epidemic. And for that purpose only. Under strict supervision by someone not affiliated in any way with the Empyrean Lord Kaisinel.
80. MISSING: ANTHONY
Anthony is a medium sized white unicorn. He wanted to follow the call of the wild and ran away. He thinks he will be okay but he is picky and cannot survive on his own. A sizeable reward is offered for his safe return home. -Rid
80a. Due to several cases of moderate to severe injury inflicted by Anthony the unicorn, Sanctum has determined the animal to be hostile and great care should be taken when trying to apprehend him.
81. Unicorns are nice. Teaching them to stab people is not. In light of this, unicorns will be temporarily removed from the vending machines. Appeals may be registered with the Outer Port Authority.
82. Empyrean Lord Vaizel and Empyrean Lord Nezekan are not to fight in public. You should have learned by now that we cannot pay to repair this kind of damage.
83. NOTICE: THIS BOARD IS NOW AVAILABLE FOR ADVERTISING USE
84. Greater courage scrolls for sale in bulk in front of the Sanctum mailbox. Hurry before they're gone!
85. $$BUYGOLDNOW$$BUYGOLDNOW$$BUYGOLDNOW$$ATREIA KINAH LOADS IN STOCK$$SPECIAL$$$BUYGOLDNOW$$BUYGOLDNOW$$BUYGOLDNOW$$$
86. Flabbyfart's Flabbalicious Moustache Grow N'Groom seminars are now in Theobomos! Register today with your closest representative for a chance to win a Deluxe Flabulous Styling Kit* The stylish needs YOU. Flabbyfart approves this message.
87. The next story in the Empyrean saga, 12 Way Luv, has been released! Beat the crowds and pick up your copy of "Free Passhun" today, starring Lord Vaizel and with a cameo from Belbua! Also look out for the upcoming "Buturflies Bownd", debuting next month!
Reviews for "Free Passhun"
-I picked up my copy of "Free Passhun" last weekend and loved it!
-Don't read with your kids around! ;)
-A very satisfying read. Scandalous in all the right ways. 10/10
-You'll never look at romance the same way again!
88.$$BUYGOLDNOW$$BUYGOLDNOW$$BUYGOLDNOW$$ATREIA KINAH LOADS IN STOCK$$SPECIAL$$$BUYGOLDNOW$$BUYGOLDNOW$$BUYGOLDNOW$$$
89. Uno from Poeta has won the Sanctum Cooking Contest for the 13th year in a row!
90. Ever wanted a place to call home, safe from balaur attacks and those pesky krall invasions? Get a free studio in Oriel! We have everything you need to set up your hideaway and get the peace and comfort you deserve. Terms and conditions may apply.
91. Flabbyfart is proud to announce the opening of a new fashion line: Flab&Fab!, by Flabbyfart. Featuring brand new collections like Going Green, Moustache Mania and Flauntulence! for your purchase and enjoyment! Rock it on and keep it Flabby!
92. Like, hoevr is hatign on my storees, I men srsly? Stop? That's liek, totaly not kool. Dont like, dont read 3 I do rekuists but I dont have eny reezon 2 rite 4 buliz. U dont need 2 ruin wat othur ppl liek jus bcz u dont. I hop we kin get ulong betur in te fuchur- luv Hot4uCutie 3 xoxoxo
93. HAVE YOU SEEN ME?
My name is Anthony. I am a pure white medium sized unicorn. I do not know much dark magic. I really like peppermint and pretending to be a trico near Lake Asteria. My daeva would come looking for me but he is under house arrest. A reward of two hats, a stack of scrolls, seven million kinah, and a mookie party with refreshments is being offered for my safe return home. It is a dangerous world for a unicorn like me!
94. Are you sick and tired of getting stabbed in the gut? Your old leather jerkin just not cutting it anymore? Well good news! The Caps & Straps has everything you need and more! Upgrade your equipment with some of our hot new stock so you can live with a little less death in your life! Located in Sanctum, near the Library of Sages and a few doors down from the Angelic Frippery. Stop by this season for a 10% discount on all caravan items***
95. VAAAAAIZEEELLLLL!
95a. Why do you always think it was me? I've been in Balaurea spying on Kass this whole time. But great idea anyway, whoever IS responsible!
95b. What
96. This board is NOT FOR ADVERTISING! Any more offenders will have their rights to write on the board fully revoked with no chance of reinstatement.
96a. Additionally Lord Vaizel is to look up the definition of the term "confidential orders" in the Library of Sages.
96b. What
96c. Additionally, Empyrean Lord Kaisinel is not to attack Empyrean Lord Vaizel.
96d. Or ignore direct summons from Empyrean Lady Ariel.
96e. Or cut off all communications with Sanctum.
96f. Empyrean Lord Vaizel is not allowed to do this either.
96g. Lord Kaisinel?
96h. Vaizel?
96i. Either of you?
96j. Hello?
97. The Seraphim Lords are to be reminded that they serve as examples for all of Elysea and as such should not behave like unschooled children.
98. Anthony the unicorn has been located in good health near Morheim Fortress. Less healthy are the thirty eight stab victims currently undergoing soul healing. Since twenty-one of them were Asmodians, half of the attacks can be excused, but all Elyos are again advised to approach the unicorn with extreme caution and to be prepared for violent retaliation if an attempt is made to capture him.
99. This is a reminder that all daevas under house arrest could face severe repercussions for violating the strict limitations placed upon them, with punishment of a minimum ten million kinah fine and five hundred hours of unpaid service to Elysea.
100. The list has reached one hundred items! In celebration, Sanctum will be holding its first 100 Festival Event! Each daeva who brings any kind of monster into any town or city shall be rewarded with one hundred "List points". List points can be exchanged for prizes at the end of the season. Good luck!
101. WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS?!
102. This is a reminder that as a Seraphim Lord, Empyrean Lord Vaizel has the freedom and authority to approve of and hold events of his choosing.
103. Has anyone actually SEEN Lord Vaizel?
104. Low ranked daevas and humans are not permitted to make illegal peace treaties and or alliances with the Asmodians.
104a. No, it is not "kind of our thing". It's treason.
104b. Still not our thing.
105. The spiritmaster Irideon is forbidden from participating in the 100 Festival Event for obvious reasons.
105a. Irideon objects to this rule on the grounds of it being unfairly discriminatory.
105b. Please keep in mind all merchants, including event staff and rewards distributors, have the right to refuse service to any individual unless based upon race/gender discrimination. Cases may be filed in the Hall of Prosperity.
106. Rule 105 has been found to be justifiable and within reason. The ban will be upheld in the interest of public safety due to past incidents.
107. Lord Vaizel will be responsible for covering all 100 Festival Event cleanup, repairs, and costs of bystander medical treatment and follow up therapy.
108. Lady Yustiel is asked to immediately reverse transformation curse that has turned the Outpost Wisplights into ribbits again. -Outremus, Wisplight General.
108a. Please.
108b. I thought we were done with this.
109. Daevas are not allowed to stand on campfires to see if they can out-heal being slowly burned alive. We have had several inexperienced daevas- and several not-inexperienced- already die from this activity, and ever since Arbolu's Haven almost burnt down the Voice of Arbolu won't shut up about it. Brigade General Perento doesn't have time to deal with this nonsense and unless you the offending party wishes to personally deal with the Elim's lectures and the screeching of that insufferable gnarl, this behavior will cease. Any more violators will be indefinitely transferred to a new post as the Voice of Arbolu's personal servant. - Posted by Brigade General Telemachus, on the behalf of Brigade General Perento.
110. Frustrated cooking students are not allowed to throw fish at the governor. I have the right to be picky, and if the fish you have prepared is not satisfactory, I also have the right to not pass you. And if you throw burned seafood in my face, I have the right to ban you from the Artisan's Hall. Do I make myself clear?
110a. Yes, governor :( - Irideon
110b. Irideon, that was rhetorical. You don't even cook. (Thank Aion...)
111. Speaking of Irideon, why is his name now on my list of Daevas of Life? - Empyrean Lady Yustiel
11a. Killios and Outremus said I'm gonna learn about trees! - Rid :)
112. The spiritmaster Irideon is not a weapon to set loose on fellow Elyos.
112. If he wishes to become a Daeva of Life for a short time, let him do as he pleases. Signed Brigade General Outremus
113. Elyos daevas are not to grab Reians' wings. Yes, they are fascinating and yes, they are different from yours. No, you cannot inspect them without asking or shove them into a windstream to see if they can glide or not. This rule is to be taken EXTREMELY seriously. Offenders will be suspended from duty for an indefinite amount of time and subjected to a fine of Kahrun's choice.
113a. Word from the wise- don't piss off Kahrun. Damage control is not fun when it comes to Reians.
114. Candies distributed by Black Cloud merchants are no longer allowed to be eaten in Kamar. Both the Asmodians and the Elyos in the city are using them, and while the language differs, everyone looks the same. It gets confusing fast.
114a. Organized performance troupes are an exception, but must have performances declared beforehand.
115. Bollvig's legendary Elyos-Asmodian romance ended in tragedy. So will yours. Stop searching for soulmates in Kamar.
115a. "Kahrun said the city was neutral and we couldn't fight so me and the Asmodian got drunk together instead" is a very bad way to start any excuse. I will pretend I didn't hear it this once, but that is considered treasonous conduct. I do not want it brought up again.
116. Geysers are not to be used as launchpads for jettisoning objects into the air. What goes up must come down, and your fun little pastime could end up killing someone.
117. Notice: Due to the 100 Festival Event, extra guards will be posted around the entrances to all participating cities. Competent daevas looking for a little extra kinah are encouraged to apply for a temporary position. Applications can be found at the job supplies merchants in Sanctum.
118. Young daevas attempting to clear the abyss fragments in Verteron are reminded to be extra vigilant regarding their flight endurance. Fatigue can hit strongly and suddenly if you don't know the warning signs! Check out the pamphlet, "Should I Land? Ten Quick and Easy Ways to Tell" if you need extra assistance. Fly safely!
119. Similarly, seizing fledgling daevas, carrying them up the cliffs of Verteron, and then shoving them off the top while shouting, "Fly or die!" is not a good way to teach them how to use their wings.
120. Also similarly, just as with flying, daevas are reminded to take extra care when using geysers as vertical transport. Several deaths have been reported in the Theobomos and Inggison areas as a result of unwary Elyos being struck by falling allies.
121. Indoor campfires are no longer allowed in Rockroof Studios.
122. The controversial series, "12 Way Luv" by Hot4uCutie has been placed under the Sanctum Obscenity Tribunal's watchlist.
123. It is both unsightly and inappropriate to wear a necklace made from the intestines of your foes. Anyone who does so will be transferred to a remote location and referred to a mandatory mental health counselor.
124. All rules, even those addressed to daevas, apply to all Elyos unless otherwise stated.
125. Be civilized, don't bite strangers. We aren't Asmodians.
126. The sale of fraudulent stigmas is illegal, as is the unauthorized trade of controlled substances. Violators will be jailed and will face additional fines.
127. NOTICE: Due to popular demand, the List has been extended and now has boards in the following areas: New Heiron Gate, Eltnen Fortress, Verteron Citadel, Teminon Landing, Inggison Illusion Fortress, and Oriel. Contested territories in Balaurea may use the Inggison Frontier board for posting. All posts onto the new boards will be synced with the main board, and must be accompanied by a regional signature.
128. (Frontier) Senior daevas are not to tell new recruits to hug the denku.
129. (Frontier) Empyrean Lord Kaisinel and the Wisplight Legion are not to radically alter the Inggison landscape and ecosystem for the purpose of confusing the Daevas of Life.
130. (Frontier) 129 is null and void. It's our magic, not yours.
131. (Frontier) Just because all the Wisplight legionaries are skilled with a needle and thread does not mean you can interrupt them from their duties so they can sew your poorly-maintained armor back together. Find a suitable tailor.
132. (Frontier) Due to drastic drops in the native population, hunting laupedes for gold is illegal and will now be considered poaching.
133. (Heiron) Daevas are not to make a game out of luring Gojira to the city. One Hundred Festival Event will not award extra points.
133a. Actually, One Hundred Festival Event will award LOTS of extra points! Bring Takkie too if you can!
134. NOTICE: REPAIRS ARE EXPENSIVE. Do not cause any more structural damage than is absolutely necessary.
135. In Sanctum, all large scale duels and duels between high-powered daevas are to be conducted in the Coliseum or in one of the Kaisinel Academy arenas. We have them for a reason.
136. Your dagger is not a musical instrument. Stop hounding the musicians about tuning it, you can do that yourself.
137. Selling cheap items to freshly ascended daevas for extortionate prices because they don't know any better is not encouraged. Stop being a flerp**.
138. Dance troupes and music groups are not to block the travel paths without prior permission.
139. Stealing pets, like stealing all things, is a punishable crime.
139a. No, it's not liberating. It's stealing. Someone paid for and fed that animal.
140. Recruiting of any kind for the Lepharist Revolutionaries is and has been outlawed for some time.
141. Do not commandeer the Elyos Defense Cannons so you can fill your sylphen culling quota. That's not what we built them for, and it's an enormous waste of ammo.
142. (Frontier) Do not under any circumstances attempt to cut the Empyrean Lord's hair to keep as a souvenir unless you wish to die a horrible, painful, and likely permanent death. You have been duly warned. I don't know why I have to tell you this. -Brigade General Outremus
143. Works by Nantucos, Daeva of Tasteless Poetry, are not to be read in public. Or anywhere.
144. There is no such thing as mookie suffrage, and there likely never will be. We are many things, including a theocracy, a monarchy and a theocratic oligarchy, but we are not a democracy. Nobody has suffrage. The first time we tried it, the world got blown up. Stop.
145. Whoever is passing around flyers and propaganda calling for a hostile shugo takeover is spreading unnecessary unrest and is asked to stop or be faced with treason and conspiring against the state.
146. If you have received an unusual love letter or any sort of romantic gift claiming to have been from Lord Israphel, Lady Ariel, Lord Kaisinel, Lord Zikel, Lord Azphel, Lady Lumiel, Brigade General Perento, Governor Fasimedes, or Bollvig, you may have been a victim of a prank. Please do not take these gestures seriously, as it has been confirmed that none of the aforementioned have sent any romantic letters or gifts within the past month.
147. Dropping out of the branches of the Eltnen Jungle onto unsuspecting passerby is terrifying both civilians and new recruits. They are most likely not Asmodian spies, and in the case that they are, that is definitely not the way to attack them, unless you like being gutted to death.
148. Daevas are not permitted to murder someone on the grounds that they "looked evil".
149. Please take care when trying to score points by bringing monsters and other wildlife onto the Eltnen Fortress hoverstone. They aren't easy to remove when they get stuck on the way up and not fun to clean when they fall off and splatter all over the forest floor.
149a. Before you even try- and I know someone will try- the Andre will not fit on the hoverstone.
150. Advanced Embroidery is not a skill needed to serve in standard Elyos defense forces. That is for Wisplight legionaries only. We apologize for any confusion this may have caused.
151. We will not be making a cavalry out of vicious, oversized forest animals. Or anything that wants to kill us, for the matter.
151a. Yes, I'm talking about Gojira. You lunatics are obsessed with the thing.
152. Healers reserve the right to refuse service. If you can't get that it's a bad idea to run through an exposed minefield, in a war zone, into the thick of the enemy army, guns blazing, during a stealth operation, with some cock-eyed plan to kill the commander after the first four failures, you don't deserve healing, you deserve to be tarred, feathered, and repurposed as cannon ammunition.
153. (Frontier) Anybody who calls Outremus and Versetti "Pretty Boy" and "Old Man" will be reassigned to the Inggison Outpost as exterminators. If you recall, we still have klaw climbing around the walls as creepy, crawly reminders of that one breeding project that we don't like to speak of.
154. ANNOUNCEMENT: The One Hundred Festival Event is now over. Please collect your rewards from the event staff. This is a reminder from Sanctum that this event will not be repeated under any circumstances. Any spoils you gain now may not be available again in the future. Official and superfluous awards will be announced by the end of the week. Titles earned will be bestowed by Daevas of the Zephyr.
155. ANNOUNCEMENT: To wrap up the One Hundred Festival Event, the loss of which we will mourn dearly, we will attempt to lure Omega, the hideous Ragnarok, the Great Padmarashka, and the Invincible Sematariux to Silentera Canyon for a fight of the ages!
155a. Who is "we"?
155b. NOTICE: Due to projected damages and casualties, this will not take place by the overruling decree of Sanctum. Find something else.
156. Temporary shrines to Yu-Yu, Kassie, and Nezzie-poo have been erected in Theobomos. Pilgrimages to the shrines are encouraged, as well as offerings of artwork, fanfiction, and plushies depicting the Seraphim Lords.
157. Lord Vaizel is not to give the other Seraphim Lords undignifying nicknames.
157a. UPDATE TO 156: Temporary shrines to Lady Witch Unholy, Lord Bitter Friendless Sociopath, and Casanova Hypocritus Killjoy have been erected in Theobomos. Pilgrimages to the shrines are encouraged, as well as offerings of artwork, fanfiction, and plushies depicting the aforementioned Seraphim Lords getting their asses handed to them by the Balaur and or getting rescued by Lord Vaizel. This will not be considered treasonous or unpatriotic conduct.
158. [FRONTIER] Don't mess with Lord of Illusion's cat. Not if you want to live.
158a. Rumor has it that he enchanted it, and it now has a secondary form not unlike Agent Veille. I repeat, do NOT mess with the cat.
159. The next person to crack a short joke about Brigade General Telemachus will be sent to hunt the Andre. Alone. With a wooden stick. In Asmodian pajamas.
160. There will be no more line dancing in Sanctum. It blocks the way.
161. Daevas, humans, shugos, shulacks, or otherwise are not allowed to try to incite a civil war between Hushblade General Yulia and Wisplight General Versetti.
161a. What do you mean, they're "armed and ready"?!
161b. We already have ongoing problems between Lady Yustiel and Lord Kaisinel. We do not need an encore.
162. Lord Kaisinel demands that the twenty metre tall chocolate Heart's Day sprigg candy and acccompanying obstructive gift mound be removed from the Cloister of Kaisinel. The Empyrean Lord prefers white chocolate.
162a. Rike! What part of discreet was beyond your comprehension?!
163. Whoever stole the Fatebound Legion's dolly mascot needs to return it, before it triggers an Asmodian invasion. Sanctum is very serious about this. This is not a joke, and they will come for it if you don't give it back.
164. You cannot claim the Abyssal Splinter as "yours", just because you like it. If you refuse to return to your post, an extraction team will be sent in.
165. Yes, it is quick, and yes, you may think it is convenient, but Sanctum very strongly advises against using death as a mode of transportation.
166. REMINDER: Asmodae is hostile, freezing, dark, freezing, miserable, freezing, and also freezing. Your Elyos shorts will leave you so blue you will blend in with the natives. Pack wisely, or you will regret it.
167. NOTICE: The Wisplight Legion is looking for cannon fodd- I mean volunteers! Gullible daevas who need a fresh start, who have been rejected by other legions, or are of questionable sanity and have a burning desire to be treated like mud on the Empyrean Lord's shoe need only apply! Poor judgement, a taste for zany experimentation, and a cheerfully optimistic disregard for human life, safety, and wellbeing is a plus. Come and be subjected to food so bad it sends you straight to the obelisk! Learn what it feels like to be turned to stone and back again! (or not). Endless opportunities for a grisly death under the guidance of an unsympathetic lunatic await! Join us on the Inggison frontier today!
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