It had been three months since Artemis and I were forced to hunt together, and well, after three months of nonstop hunting, monsters become a little scarce. There were still some monsters roaming around, but almost all of them were in cities or in some sort of civilization, aka forbidden place for the God of Tides. Due to this development in the divine world of hunting, Artemis and I were only hunting animals at the moment. The worst part of all was that hunting animals was even more boring than hunting monsters and not doing anything. You see, at least monsters look ugly so your instincts act up. These animals were cute, and I felt really bad watching them being killed.

To ease my boredom, I decided to annoy Artemis to every extent possible. I mean, after the Council decided that neither of us could harm the other physically, I figured out that there could be no harm in annoying Artemis. She couldn't hurt me or else she would lose the hunt, and I figured that she wouldn't try to find a loophole in the whole ordeal when the risk is so high. As much as she hated me, Artemis loved the Hunt much more.

My annoying adventure began by simply talking a lot. Then I started to ask questions about where we were, or if we where at our destination yet. After a while, I began to walk really slow, making Artemis slow down because of the whole 100ft limit. In simple words, I was doing the exact definition of the mortal phrase "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade". I was given a lot of restrictions, but I used them in ways to annoy Artemis and make myself feel better.

But my final act of annoyingness came in the form of singing. Yes, singing. There is nothing more annoying than a person who sings all the time. It doesn't matter if the person sings good or not, after five minutes of singing one would gladly shove that person's head on boiling lava. But Artemis couldn't do that, because that would be physical violence.

Honestly, this whole 'no harming the other' thing sounded like a curse at first, but I realized that it was a blessing in disguise.

"Where are those happy days, they seem so hard to find" I began to sing one of my favorite songs from the band ABBA. Between Apollo's son and my granddaughter, those kids did some pretty good songs, and a great musical! I heard there's a movie that could come up in the future, hopefully I'll be out of my predicament by then, so I can see the masterpiece that it will be.

"Can you shut up?!" Artemis yelled at me for the third time that day.

"I try to reach for you but you have closed your mind"

Artemis slapped her forehead.

"Whatever happened to our love. I wish I understood. It used to be so nice, it used to be so good." I continued on singing

"Why are you this way? Were you dropped as a baby or something?"

"So when you're near me, darling can't you hear me SOS. The love you gave me nothing else can save me SOS. When you're gone, how can I even try to go on? When you're gone, though I try how can I carry on?"

Artemis continued to walk, focusing all her energy into not blasting me to oblivion.

"Calm down Artemis. He's just messing with you. You're better than him, so don't let all of this bother you. Be the bigger person." She muttered to herself.

It seemed as if she was not reacting as I had initially hoped, so I decided to tempt her even more. I ran to her side and put my arm around her shoulders.

"You seem so far away, though you are standing near. You made me feel alive, but something died I fear." I continued to sing, pulling her towards myself.

"Perseus..." Artemis said in a growl. I could feel her stiffen by my movements, which was just what I was looking for.

"I really tried to make it out. I wish I understood. What happened to our love, it used to be so good." I sang, continuing to ignore her

"Perseus, I'm asking you nicely, please stop messing around." Artemis told me

"So when you're near me, darling can't you hear me SOS. The love you gave me nothing else can save me SOS. When you're gone, how can I even try to g-"

Artemis put her hand on my mouth to stop me from singing. Then, she put her arm around my neck, lowering me to her level, and using her other hand put a cloth on my mouth. I raised my hands to remove the cloth, but as much as I tried to remove it, it was stuck to my mouth. It seemed as if Artemis had put some kind of spell on the cloth.

"There, no more talking. Don't know how I didn't think of this before." Artemis told with a grin. Her hands were on her hips and she looked at me as if I was her masterpiece.

"You bitch, come here and take this off. You'll regret this." I tried to say. Of course, because of the cloth, what actually came out was "Uhph phh, coph hgh ahgh phgh hgh hihgh"

"What was that? You like that cloth and want to keep it forever?" Artemis asked

"No you asswipe, take this off of me right now!" I tried to yell, but then again, the cloth prevented my message from getting across.

"I'm glad you like it. Now come on, we need to track our dinner." Artemis began to walk before halting and tunring around to face me. "Oh, and if you need a break or anything, don't hesitate to speak up."

I watched as Artemis walked away laughing at her cruelty. She may have won that battle, but the war was far from over. Oh yes, I would find a way to humiliate her in front of all Olympus. It was just a matter of how.

Following closely behind Artemis, I could notice how she wasn't standing as proud as she did before. Her shoulders were slightly slumped and her steps were a little more heavy than usual. She looked around, trying to find an elk or some animal to eat for dinner. Sure, we could've eaten ambrosia (which is tastier and easier to acquire), but the feminazi insisted on hunting.

Sometimes I wished that I could've been born as a Reality TV star instead of a god. Although I would not have been inmortal, my life would've been so interesting and I could've manipulated other people to such a large scale. Just to be on a reality tv show and have people laugh because of my witty comments, oh that's the dream.

I realized at that moment what my perfect revenge would be. If I could just get Hephaestus to make a reality tv show about my journey with Artemis, then maybe this punishment wouldn't be so bad. This reality show would have my fights with Artemis, a special segment for my interviews, and even more fights! It's going to become the most popular show up on Olympus, all without Artemis knowing! I am truly amazed with my intellect.

A few hours later, I sat on the bed inside my tent with a half-empty stomach. Artemis had hunted a very lanky deer, so there wasn't much meat to eat. But to add insult to the injury, she ate all the good meat, leaving me with only the pieces with lots of fat. They tasted disgusting by the way, which made me even more mad than I was.

Thankfully, I was able to get the cloth off of my mouth in order to eat, and Artemis seemingly forgot to put it back on. In other words, I could have a proper conversation with Hephaestus in the privacy of my tent.

I waited a couple of minutes for Artemis to fall asleep so I could make my call. After around fifteen minutes, I made a rainbow and threw a golden drachma into it.

"Iris, could you contact me with Hephaestus? Thanks"

The image of Hephaestus leaning on a sofa appeared on the rainbow. He was wearing a simple grey t-shirt and his beard was as messy as ever. The god of blacksmiths jumped in surprise when he saw me, but then smiled gently.

"Percy, how are you holding up?"

"Well you know, could be worse. Then again, it could be a lot better."

"It sure could." Hephaestus laughed. "So, why are you contacting me at this hour? I was just about to go to sleep."

"I know it's late, but this idea can't wait a second longer. Hephy, have you ever dreamed about airing the perfect tv show on Hephaestus TV?"

"Well of course. At Hephaestus TV we always strive to bring quality entertainment."

I grinned. "Then I think I can help you out. My dear friend Hephaestus, what your channel needs is the best reality tv show."

"I don't know Percy. We already have way too many reality shows." Hephaestus replied

"But none of them could even compare to the masterpiece I have in mind. What better entertainment than having two enemies being forced to be together 24/7? Me, the friendly and social god who everyone would tune in to watch, and the Gremlin, the maiden who wants to make my life miserable. Hercules' show can't even compare to the hit this is going to be."

Hephaestus rubbed his beard. "It sounds interesting. But how can you guys fight if you are forbidden from physically harming each other?"

"Oh trust me I've got that covered. I was also thinking about having different gods visit us and mess with us. But here's the catch, she can't find out about it. That way it'll be 100% real and it will be quality programming."

"That makes sense. I already have a couple of gods in mind who would be happy to make an appearance. Do you have any ideas for the name?"

I thought for a second. "How about Ultimate Survivor: Bows and Swords. Or maybe Bachaiden"

"How about simply Survivor?"

"Yeah that works too." I said a little sad that Hephaestus hadn't considered my names.

My fellow Olympian smiled at the prospect of a new TV show. "I really like your idea Percy. I'll make some hidden cameras that will follow you around all the time. The private interviews must be inside your tent. And I'll talk with a couple of gods so that it gets even more views."

"Perfect! Thank you Hephaestus. And remember, not a word to the virgin."

"She will not find out, don't you worry."

"Great. Again, thank you."

"No problem." Hephaestus swiped his hand on the rainbow, cutting off the connection. My thoughts went directly towards Artemis and how mad she would be when she found out about this whole ordeal. Did I feel a little bit bad about allowing her to humiliate herself in front of all of Olympus just for the sake of amusement? Maybe a little. But that's the price she must pay for gagging me. Seriously, I'm a dom, I gag people, I don't get gagged.

That night I slept like a vegetable. I didn't move, didn't wake up in the middle of the night because of thirst, and didn't even dream. Just dropped unconscious on the bed and woke up refreshed on a new day.

When I woke up the next day, a couple of screams could be heard from outside of my tent. Long gone was my peaceful time and in went the chaotic side of life. But then I remembered my conversation with Hephaestus yesterday. If all went as planned, today would be the start of our new hit reality show.

I decided to exit the tent and check out what was all the commotion about. As soon as I stepped outside, I knew I had walked right into a trap. Artemis was looking at me with an evil glint on her eye and Hermes, who was standing besides her, had the biggest grin imaginable. With suspicion, I took a second step towards them.

'Click' a sound from below me was heard. Before I knew it, a loud explosion was heard and the ground below me shot up. Some weird red substance enveloped me, covering every inch of my body.

It had a metallic smell and taste, which reminded me of mortal blood. But surely Artemis wouldn't go as far as killing innocent mortals to prank me. No, she would do something much worse.

My skin began to itch uncontrollably. As I swiped some of the blood off my arm, I could see that I had the biggest rash imaginable on my skin. I looked up to see Artemis and Hermes laughing their asses off.

"Did the Great Perseus just get covered by centaur blood outside of battle?" Artemis asked

I glared at her. "You're going to pay for this."

She shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe, but at least it'll take you a full week to recover from that."

"Why does it itch so much though?" I asked her, scratching every part of my body I could

"Oh yeah, I might've laced the centaur blood with one of Hecate's poisons" Hermes laughed

"Hermes! You're supposed to be on my side!"

"Umm no, Hermes is my brother. And you know what they say, blood is thicker than water, but I guess you already know that." Artemis grinned

My face flushed with anger. "You don't even have blood! You have ichor!"

"Same thing. Now go and clean yourself up, you smell like Ares."

"Fine, but you have to come to the river with me. Remember, 100ft?"

"I'll go with you don't worry. Let's head out."

"Imma stay here if you don't mind. As much of a perfect specimen of male beauty as he is, Percy is still my bro, and I don't really want to look at him naked. I mean, that would be homo." Hermes said

"You're bi!" I yelled

"So?"

I groaned and began to walk towards the nearest body of water. On our way to what sounded like a river, I let Artemis reach up to me as she was trailing behind. Once she was about seven feet from me, I came to a full stop and quickly turned around. Then, I launched at her and hugged Artemis. I wrapped one of my arms on her neck and the other one on her back. I then grabbed her head and pushed it against the crook of my neck, so that her face was on it. Finally, I rubbed my arms on her back so I had touched every inch of it.

Under normal circumstances I would've never done that, but at the moment I was covered in centaur blood, very itchy centaur blood. By hugging Lady Farquad, I was simply rubbing some of that blood on her.

What a wonderful sight was Artemis face when she realized what I had done. She quickly pushed me away and began to scratch herself.

"And the messer becomes the messie" I laughed

"I fucking hate-look! It's your mother!" Artemis pointed behind me.

I turned my head, "My mom?!"

To no ones surprise, there was nobody standing behind me. It was a decoy for Artemis to be able to run away and reach the river first. Sure, it may have been an extremely cliché trick and being the god of wit should've prepared me for it...but my mom is scary. She has made some pretty horrible things, like with Medusa and Arachne, and being a horrible monster wasn't in my top 10 list to do during this lifetime.

I quickly made my way to the river while trying my best to not scratch my whole skin off. It took me a lot longer than I hoped to get to the river, and when I got there, I was met with the most unbelievable sight.

Artemis, the equivalent to Ursula from the Little Mermaid, was taking off her clothes and getting inside the river.

"Oh no you don't!" I screamed as I took my clothes off and ran even faster towards the water. The virgin turned around to glare at me, but once she saw my naked body turned back around and got inside the water to cover herself.

"I was here first, so get out before I kill you." Artemis said not even looking at me

"Don't flatter yourself. I'm only here because you decided it would be a good idea to cover me in centaur blood!"

"It still doesn't change the fact that I was here first and you're violating my personal space."

I swam towards her. "Does being this close to me make you uncomfortable? The same water that touched my dick passing through your virgin walls, tainting them with my manliness."

She glared at me, but her face began to conjure a little blush. "You are...the most insuferable male EVER! How can you sleep at night knowing who you are?!"

"During the 70's and 80's I slept on a waterbed, but nowadays I sleep in a memory foam mattress. You should try it sometime, it's much better for your posture than that old thing you use."

"Aaaaaahhhh!" Artemis screamed in rage, which actually made me shut up. She looked really scary and genuinely angry. "Why do you have to make my life so miserable?! Since the first day I met you you have been out to screw me over! You deceive me, lie to me, hurt me, and annoy me to no end! Why?!"

"Sometimes it's fun to mess with people. Plus, you're really vulnerable. You act all strong and mighty, but inside you're just a woman that cannot get anybody to fulfil her needs. You ache for the touch of a man, for someone to hold you and make sure you're out of harm, but your personality just makes it imposible for anyone to love you. Secretly you want me to annoy you, because you know that it's the most attention a male will ever give you."

Artemis eyes filled with tears, and for a moment I thought that I had stepped a step too far.

"What would you know about me? All I see is an overgrown buffoon who believes that he is the wisest man out of all but can barely manage to keep the demigods at bay. You are simply a man who cannot hold on to the women he loves and then their daughters all end up with mommy and daddy issues, so they join the hunt and hate you forever. You think that the reasons your daughters join the hunt is because I trick them? No, the only one who is to blame for that is you." Artemis walked towards me, pointing and stabbing her index finger at my chest.

My fists clenched. "You're just mad because I'm the only person who you have allowed to see the real Artemis. The Artemis who did not think about her vow every waking moment, the woman who could be able to hold a conversation without going all Feminazi mode."

"If it weren't for you then that Artemis would still be here." Artemis said slowly with melancholy reaching her words.

At that moment I realized how close we actually were. The centaur blood had already washed off our body, only a couple of drops marking our faces. Her wet hair fell straight to her back, leaving her face free of any distractions. Her silver eyes glared at my sea-green eyes, but hers held sadness in them.

Slowly, I brought my hand up and wiped a little bit of blood off her cheek. Her eyes widened and she froze, completely surprised by my actions. I was also surprised, but I just followed my instincts.

Little by little, I bent down a little and began to close the distance between us. Artemis was still frozen in shock, but I could feel her gasp a little. As my lips closed in on hers, my eyes began to close.

In just an instant, my lips had landed on her pink lips. I moved my hand to the back of her head and pushed her towards me, kissing her more profoundly.

It took around five seconds for Artemis to realize what was happening. I had hoped that when she realized she would kiss me back, forgiving me for what I had done millennia ago. To just continue living happily as if nothing had happened. But life is not a fairy tale, and Greek stories are probably the complete opposite of it.

Artemis pushed me away and wiped her mouth as if she was trying to get rid of any evidence of the kiss.

"Artemis I-"

"Don't." she said before turning away and getting out of the river. Out of respect, I turned around. I had just kissed her and she had pushed me away, it was no time to watch her naked form. No matter how enticing it sounded.

My heart felt heavy and my lips felt like tv static/sparkling water. I had no idea why I had done that. I certainly didn't feel any attraction to Artemis. Yes, I had to admit that she was a beautiful woman, even more now that she was hunting in her nineteen year old form, and yes I had to admit that sometimes I replayed the memories of us together before I went to sleep, but I didn't like her. She was my enemy and I was hers.

But then why did my heart feel this way? If I had done that completely out of lust then the problem would've been over by now, but I still felt weird about the whole encounter. Something about Artemis pushing me away left a wound in me. Like a reminder of my error, a reminder of the reality.

Deciding not to ponder more about the topic, I swam towards the shore and dried myself. Then, I put on my clothes and sighed a heavy breath.

Artemis was standing as far away as she could considering our 100ft limitation, but she was completely facing the other way. I looked down to my feet and began to walk towards the campsite, ignoring the aching feeling in my heart.