Disclaimer: I do not own DC

A/N: Errors ahead. This is just a break from my mystery fanfic because it's harder than I thought. Haha

...

You don't know what you've got until it's gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just never thought you'd lose it. I always read or heard that a lot somewhere. Before, I could care less because I never thought I would be able to feel it but now as I read it again- I could feel as if I'll lose my heart too.

I'm Kudo Shinichi and this is my story

...

Being with Ran means everything to me. She's my childhood friend. She's my first love. Going on a date with her at Tropical Land was a day I could not forget and fun fact- it was the best thing that happened to me.

It wasn't about being with Ran but it was about being shrunk with a drug called APTX- 4869. The struggles, dangers and adventures upon being Edogawa Conan is what makes me who I am today. It was because of that day that I met her- Haibara Ai.

She was a member of the Black Organization- the maker of that powerful drug that shrunk me. I hated her the moment I saw her. If it wasn't for Hakase holding me back, I could've hit her. She was the main reason why I am in this situation. She was the main reason why Ran kept on crying.

I told her to continue being an elementary student because of one selfish reason- she was the maker of the drug and she can make me an antidote in no time. But curse my unlucky nature, the data of the drug is hard to get and destroying the Organization is even harder.

She's intelligent and I have to admit that having her on a crime scene was convenient enough. She can understand me. She knew a lot. I became friends with her to a point where she was my own confidante. She's my partner.

We have been in a lot of near death experiences and scenarios that on one point, she wasn't scared anymore. That she felt like she's just waiting for the time they caught her, they caught us. There are times when I myself felt like giving up but seeing Ran's suffering- I had to continue fighting. I had to be with her.

Haibara Ai became a true friend to me. She was there during my rants about my messed up love life. She was there when I thought of giving up. She was there during the times I doubted myself. She was there in everything that I do that I got used to her presence behind my back supporting me at all times.

There are times that I used the word 'protection' as a way to get a temporary antidote for a date with Ran. I always nagged her about protecting her all the time and an antidote as a payment wont hurt her but I was wrong, I was hurting her without even noticing it. I' am taking her for granted.

She slept late at nights just to make me one. She skipped meals just to test one. She risked her own chance of being her self again by administrating herself dozes of antidote to tests because she was afraid that if I take a lot I could become immune myself. She was sacrificing herself more than once just for me to be happy. On a fuckin' regular date at that.

I remember the time when she lost her Higo phone strap, she was devastated. The kids and I helped in getting it back but with a different agenda; the kids want her to be happy while I helped because of an antidote. Every time I looked back at that time, I felt guilty and ashamed that once again I've taken her for granted.

A few days prior to the fall down of the Black Organization, she gave me an antidote. It was the permanent cure. It was my way of getting back to Ran. I went straight to take it after I thanked her. I went straight to Ran without even asking if she made one herself.

During our fight with the Black Organization, she was in her Haibara Ai form. I asked her for the first time why she didn't take her own antidote and then right there in front of the burning hideout she told me she cant. She cant take one because she was immune. She's never going back to Miyano Shiho. I shouted at her and demanded her for reasons on why she was the one to be immune since she rarely took them.

"I am my own guinea pig. I took them for testing. Every temporary antidote I made, I took them all in order to perfect the one permanent antidote needed for you to be Kudo Shinichi again" she told me and for once I am left speechless.

I promised her that I will always protect her and she promised me that she'll make me an antidote but it looks like she was the only one who manage to give her part of the bargain. I was with her the whole time we fought the Organization. We managed to capture them except one- Gin. The FBI promised us that they will make sure to put him behind bars after they caught him. It's been a month since the fight so I let my guard down.

We went back to normal- I went back to school with Ran and Haibara Ai went back to school with the detective boys. I rarely see her except for when I needed to talk to someone about my relationship with Ran. My feelings for Ran changed as time passes by. It was becoming more of an obligation than of love and with that I' am slowly falling in love with someone else without even knowing it.

Even though I felt as if being with Ran is exhausting, I still held on the fact that we are childhood sweethearts. That she's the only one for me. One day, I went on a double date with Hattori and Toyama in Osaka because I promised it to Ran but the very same day Haibara asked me to accompany her for a supermarket trip. I said no to Haibara since I knew that supermarket trips with her will be a disaster and exhausting. When I went home that night I saw Hakase with worried expression and as he told me what happened, I couldn't help but cry.

"Ai- kun was shot in the head. Thankfully it wasn't fatal but she's still unconscious. Gin shot her during her trip to the supermarket." Hakase whispered between sobs. I stood there in front of Hakase's house, I cant believe I couldn't protect her, that I couldn't save her.

It's been 2 months since she was shot and the doctor told us to be ready if the time comes to let her go. She is still in coma. I couldn't let her go. Not now when I finally realized that I need her, that I love her.

Hakase came in to me and asked me one night if we should let her go. There wasn't any response coming from her. The machine is the only one keeping her with us but I couldn't. I promised to protect her and I will, even if I lose all money I have for her hospital bills. I will never let her go.

I broke up with Ran and focused my attention on Haibara. She's very peaceful looking. I kept on talking to her- telling her my everyday events, my new cases and those things that she finds interesting.

"It's hard to talk to someone very unresponsive. Don't be rude Haibara" I told her one day, my hand holding her hand. The doctors kept on saying that they couldn't save this 7 year old kid's life anymore but I kept on holding on because I believe in her.

"Hey. Uhm. Can you at least open your eyes? I want to see your eyes. Look at me Haibara. Glare at me. Talk to me. Hold my hand. Dammit. I love you and sorry for taking you for granted" I whispered to her. I closed my eyes as tears ran down my cheeks. "Let me make it up to you. Give me a sign that you'll be back"

For a minute I just looked at her and I now realized that what they say about 'only realizing the worth after you lose it' is true. She was here with me all the time and yet I never even took a glance at her.

"I guess you made up your mind now. I guess I should let you go. I love you Ai" I said to her one last time while kissing her forehead. I walked towards the door to get the doctor because this time I already made up my mind. I need to let her go and if only I could turn turn back time I would have told her how much she means to me.

I saw Hakase sitting outside her hospital room. I approached the old man and smiled. He smiled back.

"Hakase, I'm ready to let go"

...

Inside the dark hospital room, the girl lying at the center of the bed suddenly moved her fingers. After a while, she slowly opened her eyes.

'Where am I?' She thought