Suzuki Iruma, age 14. He is currently being forced to work as a janitor at the Union Aerospace Corporation's research facility on Phobos: his parents refuse to work, and so he must work instead.

Today will be the UAC's first attempt at teleportation without using a vacuum-sealed and radiation-proofed chamber. It will be the first time for most UAC staff to see the device in action.

"Hey, Iruma, they're going to start in a couple of minutes. Can you cover my shift?"

"Sure!" Iruma can never refuse a request. He is, as it were, a total pushover. Even he admits it.

In five minutes or so, Iruma is startled from his work by the blaring of an alarm, and the flashing of a red light. "TOTAL FACILITY LOCKDOWN IN EFFECT. EVACUATE WITHIN FIVE MINUTES. REPEAT. TOTAL FACILITY LOCKDOWN…"

Iruma immediately drops his mop and bucket, and begins running towards the facility's shuttle bay at full speed.

As he enters the waste processing area, Iruma encounters a being he has never seen before: a floating head with a single glowing orange eye, with a mouth framed by multiple small clawed arms. Two horns protrude from its head, and a fire blazes in its mouth.

The being smiles. "YeS, fInaLLy. I wAS geTTinG BOred," it rasps, in a voice that makes nails on a chalkboard seem pleasing to the ears in comparison.

"Um, h-hello?" Iruma asks, but before he can say anything more, a ball of something that is not quite fire materializes in the being's hands. It throws the projectile at Iruma's legs, but Iruma easily jumps away. "S-sorry! W-what do you want me to do?!"

"eNTertAin mE."

For the next thirty seconds, the being makes several attempts to incinerate, disembowel, decapitate, or otherwise painfully kill Iruma. None are successful, and Iruma dodges out of the way of each attack. Iruma, after fourteen years of various unpleasant experiences, has become extremely proficient at avoiding things. If one were to give this a name, it would be called Overwhelming Crisis Evasion Capability.

During a break in the combat, as the being detaches a pipe from the wall to bludgeon Iruma with, Iruma finds the time and breath to ask "Do you.. want me to… sing for you or something?"

"sInG fOR Me thEN. BEfORe yOU DIE!"

"Um- um-"

Iruma suddenly remembers a song from a manga he was an assistant for: Kyosuke-san comes to the Land of the Oni!. Somehow, the situation reminded him of it.

"Humans only exist to be our food~! Suck them dry, blood, soul, flesh, and all~!..."

Once he finishes, he asks: "H-how was that?"

"eXCEllEnT. nOW, DiE fOr ME."

The alarm blares again. "TOTAL FACILITY LOCKDOWN. EVACUATE IN TWO MINUTES. PLEASE REMAIN CALM AND BOARD THE SHUTTLES IN AN ORDERLY MANNER."

"I-I'm sorry, I need to go to the shuttle bay. M-maybe I can sing for you again s-some other time. Bye!"

Iruma bolts for the shuttle bay, weaving around the being and avoiding its claws, apologizing all the while. It takes him one minute to reach it, but even then, there is only a single evacuation shuttle left, and only one seat in it is empty.

Iruma's boss enters the shuttle bay around the same time. He is covered in blood, and his right hand is missing two fingers.

"Iruma… could you help me get to that shuttle, please?"

Iruma is especially weak to the words "help" and "please".

"Sure!" he answers, and leads his injured boss to the last seat in the shuttle.

"Alright, we're full. Let's get out of this hellhole."

The shuttle departs, leaving Iruma alone in the shuttle bay.