Hi, friend! Thanks for coming back to see what else I've hidden in the pockets of my mind.

I was inspired by a friend dear to my heart, and once the seed was planted in my head, there was no stopping my typing. I'm not going to give too much away in this introduction because the words and characters speak for themselves, but I'm excited for all of you to join me on this journey.

This will be multiple chapters, though I'm not sure how many, and due to my also being in school and working, there is no set schedule to when the chapters will be posted, although that may change, so please bear with me.

This is dedicated to Erin, who inspires me every day to become a better creator and person, and basically asked me to attack her with my words.

I hope you all enjoy this story as much as I know I will. Any good thoughts or reviews is very much appreciated, and anything you might want to see in later chapters.

Without further ado, happy reading!

She braced herself against the counter, her knuckles white from her tight grip on the granite as tears threatened to fall from her eyelashes. She thought it would've gotten easier after what she assumed was the millionth time, but that stupid frowning emoticon was an all too familiar sight, and she knew it would never be any less painful.

They did everything they were supposed to do. They bought the house with a big backyard and a white picket fence, they put their blood, sweat, and tears into earning every penny that went into their bank account, they loved each other with every ounce of their being, they had genuine hearts and devoted their lives to saving others, they did everything right.

It just didn't seem to be enough.

There was no diagnosis, no explanation, no reason why. Her body just couldn't do it.

Those words hurt more than if the doctors would've cut her heart from her chest and crushed it between their fingers.

She sighed, throwing the plastic tests into the bottom of the trash bin, covering it with wadded-up paper towels and the empty Chinese takeout cartons from hours before. A wet nose against her leg drew her from her invading thoughts, an instantaneous swell to her heart as the canine always knew when she needed comforting.

"Hey, buddy," she spoke quietly as she slid to the chilled tile floor of the kitchen, the dog moving to sit in her lap and snuggling his head into the crook of her neck, his paw resting on her shoulder, "Your hugs always make mama feel better, don't they?"

The tears that had been waiting to drip from her eyes finally broke through the dam, crashing into the soft blonde fur that tickled her chest as uproarious, desolate sobs wracked her body. She held onto him for dear life, the occasional lick from his tongue wiping the wetness from her cheeks, her grief of losing something that was never there getting the best of her.

They sat for a while as her wails faded to sniffling before she wiped her face on the sleeve of her sweater and rose to her feet, the retriever following suit, but staying close to her, "No sense in wasting the rest of the day away crying, right Coop?"

A tilt of his head is all she received in reply, eliciting a giggle from her lips, "And here I thought you understood every word I said."

She bent to her knees, her hands petting the sides of his face as his brown eyes stared back at her, "You're a good boy, aren't you? You're the only baby I need."

"Let's get dinner started, shall we? Daddy should be home soon."

She trudged over to the fridge, her eyes avoiding the birth announcements and pictures of the younger members of their extended family littering the metal, swinging the door open. She was met with a dozen tupperware dishes, a case of beer, a bottle of orange juice, and a half-empty carton of milk, making a mental note to take a trip to the grocery store on her next day off.

"Pizza it is, then."

The clicking of the lock on the front door evoked a bark from Cooper, the dog flying through the kitchen into the entryway, eager to greet his other favorite human being.

"Hey, big guy! Oh yes, thank you for the kisses. Yes, I missed you, too."

She closed the refrigerator, the goosebumps on her skin from the cold temperature deflating, and followed Cooper's path, seeing her husband crouched down and on the receiving end of slobbery smooches, a grin stretching across his jaw at the sight of her.

"Hey, baby," he stood from the floor, throwing his keys and phone onto the mud bench, "How was your day?"

She shrugged with a smile, wrapping her arms around his waist as he circled her shoulders, "It was fine. Coop and I went for a run and then had a nap before I regrettably watched the episode of This Is Us where Jack dies. Talk about traumatizing."

Pressing a gentle kiss into her hair with a chuckle, he pulled her face away from his chest examining her tired eyes as his features contorted into a frown, noticing the specks of mascara lining her cheeks, "Why didn't you wait for me to take another test?"

Her eyes closed in defeat, a soft tremble to her chin, as she pulled from his grasp and walked back into the kitchen, tugging open the door to the pantry, searching for some type of comfort food, "Because there was no use in you rushing home from your job only to be disappointed again."

"I would rather be disappointed with you than you being upset and alone."

Settling on a bag of animal cookies, dropping some to the floor for the dog, she threw herself onto the couch, tucking her feet under her, "I wasn't alone. I had Cooper."

"Don't deflect."

"What do you want me to say, Matt?" She snarled with a huff, "I'm sorry I took another test without you, even though I already knew it was gonna be negative, but next time I do it, I'll call you so I can crush your spirit."

"Yes, that is exactly what I want you to say," he replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes, "Dammit, Gabby. I'm tired of having this same argument over and over again."

"Then stop starting this same argument over and over again!" She miffed, throwing the bag of cookies onto the coffee table, "There is no point for you to leave a construction job and have to add an extra day to your workload to make up for it just because your wife can't get pregnant."

Rubbing his forehead in an attempt to alleviate the headache that was rearing its ugly head, Matt sauntered over to her, but she held her hands against his chest, pushing him away, "I'm sorry that I didn't call you, but there was no sense in it. You wouldn't have made it home in the five minutes it takes to do the test, anyway."

She ran a hand through her hair as she turned away from him, blinking away the tears that had formed, "I'm going over to Shay and Kelly's for movie night. I wasn't sure if you wanted to come or not since I know you've had a long day."

"Ah, I have a lot of paperwork to finish for the remodeling I did at the Hanson property, so I'll have to pass tonight. Hopefully, next week."

She stifled a sigh as she leaned against the wall, slipping her feet into the boots by the backdoor, "I'm not sure how long I'll be, but I will let you know when I'm on my way back."

"Gabs," he reached for her hand, drawing her into his warm chest once more, "I'm sorry. I guess it doesn't really make sense for me to rush home and then have to be away from you an extra day doing the work I didn't get finished."

Her thumbs grazed over the slight stubble on his chin as she held his face in her hands, pulling his forehead to hers, both of them closing their eyes, the silence between them more comforting than they realized.

"I love you," he whispered as he pressed a kiss to her nose.

"I love you, too, so much. I promise next time, I will call you on one condition."

He lifted an eyebrow, a tenuous smirk on his lips, "Oh, yeah? And what would that be."

"You bring me two pints of Ben & Jerry's strawberry cheesecake ice cream."

"Deal." He spoke with a laugh, a sound that made her shiver from head to toe, "I'll let you rent Bridesmaids on the TV, too, even though you've seen it a dozen times."

"Mmm, talk dirty to me."

She twirled out of his arms as he popped her butt with his hand, "Get out of here, ya goof. Text me when you're on your way home so I know you're safe."

"I will," she nodded as she called out for Cooper, the dog strolling out of the bedroom with his leash held tightly in his mouth, "You wanna go for a ride, Coop? Let's go."

Kissing her husband once more, Gabby threw on her jacket and grabbed her bag, closing the front door behind her and opening the back door for Cooper to jump in before she slid into the driver's seat and started the engine.

She gripped the steering wheel, willing away her bubbling emotions that threatened to burst from her throat, pulling the gear into reverse and backing out of the driveway, driving off in search of a distraction from her all too harsh reality.

"He tries to hide it, but I know it's weighing on him." Gabby muttered as she swallowed another sip of her wine, careful not to wake the snoring little boy tucked into her side, her fingers sifting through his blonde curls as the ending credits to Iron Man rolled on the flat screen.

"He seems to forget that you know him like the back of your hand," her best friend, Shay, scoffed, "He couldn't hide anything from you if his life depended on it."

"Sometimes, I wish I didn't know him so well. It would make not being able to give him what he wants a little easier to deal with."

Shay gripped her shoulder soothingly, taking a long swig of her beer, "You know all that boy wants is Gabriella Dawson slash Casey, and since I can't have you in my bed, I'll just have to let you settle for the next best choice."

Gabby sent her a playful glare, "Oh, you wish you could have this. You wouldn't even know what to do with yourself."

"Let's find out," Shay responded with a wiggle of her eyebrows, "I'd be a legend in the city of Chicago if people knew I got into Gabby Dawson's pants."

A soft thumping on the spiral staircase halted their conversation, a disheveled Kelly making his appearance as he crept over to the couch, dropping a peck onto both of their heads before gesturing to the toddler that was drooling on Gabby's shirt, "You want me to take him?"

Glancing down at the tiny boy, she shook her head, "No, we're good. I was just about to go lay him down."

Handing him her glass to set on the table, she slid her hands under the boy's arms and carefully settled him against her shoulder, ambling off down the hallway into the nursery. A soft whine from his lips danced into her ear as she sat down in the rocking chair next to his bed, shushing him back into a dreamful sleep.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine," she hummed, pushing her foot against the carpet, the chair matching her motions, "You make me happy when skies are gray."

She purred the same words her mother sang until her dying breath to the little boy who held a place in her heart no one else would ever have, "You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away."

Hugging him to her chest a little longer than usual, she inhaled his faint scent of lavender body wash, the boy unconsciously snuggling himself further into her, the bond they shared manifesting in the darkened room.

Rising out of the chair slowly, she kissed his rosy cheek and laid him in his crib, keeping her hand on his chest for a moment to ensure he stayed asleep, before she turned on the firetruck nightlight by his dresser, and closed the bedroom door behind her.

She stepped back into the living room, holding a laugh behind her fist at the sight in front of her, Shay sprawled across Kelly's lap with a trail of drool falling down her cheek as one leg looped over the back of the couch and the other hanging off the cushions while the man tried to figure out a maneuver that wouldn't wake her.

"This is your fault, you know?" He hissed, "Every time you sing that song, she's dead to the world in a matter of seconds."

She ruffled his hair as she slung her purse on her shoulder, "You know she's the tired drunk. You can't blame me for that."

She knelt in front of the couch, rubbing the sleeping woman's arm, jolting her from the dream she was clearly enjoying, "Hey, it's okay. It's just me. I wanted to tell you bye before I left, and to warn you that Kelly's about ten seconds away from throwing you into the floor."

He groaned as Shay swatted at his stomach and pulled Gabby in for a hug, "The last time he did that, I ended up with a dislocated shoulder and he got a kick to the nuts, so I suggest he doesn't try it again."

The two best friends held onto each other, both of them needing the comfort as Gabby spoke into Shay's neck, "Thank you for tonight. You guys always seem to know exactly how to get me out of the funk I'm in."

"Always, my sweets. Gotta take care of the ones we love, right?"

Shay squeezed her for a moment before letting the woman go, reaching for her hand, "You know this is your home just as much as it's ours. Day or night, you drag your hot ass over here and we'll down as many bottles of wine as you want, or have a dance party and wake up Mr. Robinson downstairs with our stomping."

"Oh man, you say things like that and I may just let you jump my bones."

"Kelly, add 'Offer the woman alcohol and music' to my list on how to win Gabby Dawson's heart."

Gabby rolled her eyes, patting her hand against her leg, "C'mon, Coop. Let's go home."

They led her to the door, both giving her and Cooper one last goodbye as she trudged out to her car, stopping in her tracks as Shay called out for her, the woman jogging to meet her halfway, "I know that things are difficult right now, and they have been for a long time, but I believe that it's all leading you both to something good. I've seen the way you are with Beckett, and that boy loves you more than anyone in this world, us included. You are going to be the best mother someday and my gut is telling me that day is coming soon."

Gabby's eyes watered at her words, the woman blinking a few times to brush away the stinging, "You think so?"

"I know so. Just hold on a little longer, okay? You both deserve a universe full of happiness and when you are finally able to hold your baby in your arms, you'll know what I'm talking about."

"Thank you, Shay. You always have a way with words, don't you?" She chuckled, pulling the woman in for one last hug, the chill of the night separating them shortly after as they bid a farewell, Gabby peeling out into the night, in desperate need of a certain man's comfort.

The house was quiet as she hung up her bag and the dog leash, Cooper immediately trotting into the bedroom with her following behind. Matt laid buried underneath the covers, his head huddled into her pillow, the soft lighting of the closet peeking out from the cracked door illuminating the room.

She slid out of her clothes and into one of his t-shirts, letting her hair loose from its ponytail as she pulled back the comforter and nestled herself into his side, the man awakening at the slight dip in the bed.

"Hey, baby. Did you have a good time?"

She nodded into his chest, "Yeah, we watched Iron Man for the thousandth time in a row at Beckett's request, which he fell asleep right in the middle of, by the way."

"Sounds like someone else I know."

She poked his side gently, his body curling away before shrinking back into her, "It's not my fault you insist we wait until after dinner to watch a movie. You should know by now that I'm an old woman at heart and have a strict eight p.m. bedtime."

"Yeah, I guess."

They laid together in silence, spending the last few minutes of the evening enjoying the feel of the other's skin on theirs. Their days were busy, and so were most of their nights, so they cherished the quiet moments like these, where they listened to their heartbeats and the soft lulling of their breathing.

"I'm sorry about earlier. I should've waited for you to get home before taking another test. It should've been something we did together."

He grazed his fingers back and forth on her arm, a soft hush falling from his lips, "You don't have to be sorry. I just wish you didn't try to take on all of this by yourself."

"I want it so much, Matt."

"And we'll have it, Gabby," he assured her, "There's a reason we're still waiting for the last piece of our puzzle, but I know that when our time comes, we're gonna give every ounce of ourselves into being the best parents we can be."

"I just hate that I can't give you the one thing you've wanted your entire life. That's my job as a wife and I'm failing you."

"I don't know how many times you need to hear it, but you are the most incredible wife any guy has been lucky to have. I don't need children to know that. Your heart is so good and I am honored to get to see that every single day."

He felt a drop of water hit his chest, his arms embracing her tighter against him, "It's just not our time yet, my girl."

He held her as she sobbed herself into a fitful sleep, the man waiting for her soft snores to let his own tears fall, wishing he could take her suffering away and praying for their time to come soon before his body finally succumbed to his exhaustion.