Hey, Roxy Goth here. I feel I need to explain this one a bit. I was watching James and the Giant Peach [Roald Dahl] and I thought: 'These characters look a little like toons.' I mean – if you didn't know how they were made you may easily make the mistake, I though. [I don't know if that's true or not] So I came up with this little story.

Initially I wanted Dr Scratchensniff to help Elmer out, but I couldn't type his speech pattern so I gave up and switched it to Porky instead.

I do not own Looney Tunes in any way, shape or form.

Porky Pig was used to getting visitors at all hours. Whether it was morning, noon or night it didn't matter. If a toon had an issue 9 times out of ten, they would bring it to him. It came with the territory of being one of the oldest toons and thus the 'wisest'. Not to mention that somehow, he'd been created with the ability to read and write which automatically made him a genius in the eyes of most toons. Most of the time he was very pleased with his reputation and took great lengths to uphold it-

Knock, knock, knock

Occasionally though he just wanted to knock whoever was bothering him out with a mallet. Like now for instance.

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK

He groaned and flicked an eye over at his alarm clock. 10 o clock at night! Granted that may not sound late, but he had filming tomorrow and everyone knew that –

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK – BBBBRRRRIIIIIINNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG-

"ALRIGHT I'M C-CO-COM – ON MY WAY!" Porky yelled.

Two seconds later he'd dragged himself to his front door and flung it open. "WHAT!?"

Elmer Fudd stood there, looking suitably embarrassed clutching a letter. "…Is this a bad time?" He asked.

Porky's eye twitched.

Seeing this Elmer backed away a little. "I'ww come back tomowwow…" He decided and went to go.

Porky's arm reached out and grabbed the back of Elmer's shirt. "O-oh no you're n-not!" He yanked Elmer inside, slammed the door shut and glared at him. "Y-you can t-tell me why you're-you're carrying that l-le-let – piece of communication!"

"…I want you to wead it over fow me." Elmer said, wide-eyed. "Make sure it makes sense befowe I send it off to the boss."

Porky paused, thought it over and massaged his fore-head. He felt a headache coming on. "W-why me?" He asked, after a couple of seconds. "A-after all the lot of you can r-r-read and write now. Y-you could ask anyone. Daffy's good at co-co-co - protesting to Warner Brothers – ask him!"

Fudd went to speak and the closed his mouth slowly. He looked down at the letter and then back up at Porky with big doe eyes. "B-but I'm not suwe if I've got it wight." He tried to explain. "I feew I might be missing something, but I'm not sure. And – if I send it to Wawnew Bwothews and get it wrong then they might laugh at me. And Daffy definitewy WIWW laugh at me. Same fow Bugs…you'we the only one who'ww be patient and nice! So…" He pushed the letter towards the pig's face. "…hewp me? Pwease?"

Well what was he meant to say to that!?

"…F-fine, go sit down…"

"Oh goody!" Elmer clapped his hands and scurried into the living room.

Porky sighed and rubbed his eyes before looking at the clock. 10:17. So much for an early night…

"A-alright, what's this letter?" The pig asked tiredly, sitting down in his armchair.

Silently Fudd handed it over, then sat back in the couch and waited.

Porky, meanwhile, read:

Deaw Mw Directow of Wawnew Bwothews.

It has come to my attention that thewe may be some toons over in Engwand that work for a company cawwed Aardman Animations.

They are cwearwy new types of toons because they look diffewent to us ink and paint toons. However, I am awawe that there is new technowogy being made aww the time and these toons may be a resuwt of this new technowogy.

I think it wouwd be in the spiwit of being an Amewican that we at weast invite these toons over to America to wive with the west of us here in Toon Town. After all – it's not wike space is ever going to be an issue for us, is it? And it must be vewy wonely ovew thewe. It seems thewe's only about 100 of them and considering there's way more humans than that in Engwand they must get very wonely. If necessawy I could show them awound and get them up to speed with the west of us? Or maybe the Goofy Gophers wouwd be bettew seeing as they'we 'Engwish?'

Whatevew you decide – know I'm happy to hewp.

Youws sincewely, Ewmew J Fudd.

Well. This was interesting.

"What do you think?" Elmer asked, anxiously. "Does it make sense? It doesn't come acwoss as to pushy does it? Powky? Powky!"

Porky shook himself back to reality. "Er…no! No…it's – it's er good. Yes good. J-just one t-thing though…" He trailed off and looked down at the letter. This was not going to be easy to explain…

"…Weww?"

"YouareawareAardmandoesn'tmaketoonsaren'tyou?" Porky said all in on breath.

Elmer blinked. "Wouwd you mind saying that again, pwease?"

"You are aware Aardman doesn't make toons, aren't you?" The pig repeated.

Elmer blinked again. Then went to open his mouth before closing it again slowly. His face took on a look of complete puzzlement.

Clearly not then, Porky thought.

"They don't make toons?" Elmer repeated, slowly.

Porky nodded.

A small pause then a passionate: "But they'we not made with computews! The textuwes aww wrong!"

"Y-you're wight – I mean r-right!" The elder of the two took a breath. It was so easy to pick up Elmer's speech pattern…

"But then…"

"One m-m-moment…" Porky got up and pulled down a whiteboard. "A-aardman make characters like Shaun the Sheep, Ginger and Rocky ext, ext right?" He asked, drawing said characters on the board.

Elmer nodded.

"They m-make them out of c-c-clay and plasticine and in order to make them m-m-move basically take p-pictures of them in different po-po-po – actions and then link the frames together…you know kinda like when we make comics? We a-act, the animators r-r-remember our m-moves and draw them onto pa-pa-pa – dead tress - and the whole thing works like c-c-clockwork, got it?"

Elmer nodded.

"So t-t-that means that the - the c-c-characters aren't t-toons because they are made out of pla-plas-plasti - NOT either ink and paint or computers. Besides – I d-don't think anyone outside of A-a-a- this great country - knows HOW to make toons." Porky looked over at the younger toon who had a look of complete bewilderment on his face. "I-is this making any s-se-sen – are you understanding me!?"

The hunter jumped and sat straight up in his chair. "Yes sir!" There was a pause and then Elmer sighed. "I suppose I bettew scwap the idea of sending the boss that lewwer then, huh?"

Porky sighed and handed it back to him. "Y-yes I suppose you'd b-b-better."

Elmer nodded and slipped it back under his hat. "Thanks Powky. You'we a life-savew."

Porky laughed modestly. "W-well, I think that's going a bit f-f-far…" By this point he'd manged to edge the hunter towards the door who thankfully took the hint and opened it before pausing.

"Oh, Powky…"

"D-d-don't worry. It doesn't go any f-fu-fur – anywhere else."

Elmer smiled, tipped his hat and left.