The Surprise

This is a very short one shot that came about as I was writing for a blog entry on Austen Authors. While researching the topic of pets in the regency era, I found that a surprising number of the English upper class had exotic animals as pets. Soldiers, sailors, businessmen and diplomats traveled the world on behalf of the English empire and when they returned home, they often brought exotic animals with them. There are records of tigers, bears, orangutans, macaws, marmosets and more as pets in wealthy households. Queen Charlotte often gave zebras or kangaroos to her friends. Some upper class gentry had flamingos in their ponds, and monkeys were not uncommon. It seems the more exotic the animal, the more it was desired by the wealthiest of the wealthy.

The poor animals, of course, generally did not benefit from this arrangement. If they survived being imported from their native land they might well end up in a tiny enclosure, kept under conditions we would consider barbaric today. Luckier animals might live in someone's private collection, cared for but still cut off from any kind of natural life.

This inspired my imagination to come up with the following little tale. Imagine, if you will, that the married Darcy and Elizabeth suddenly find themselves in possession of one of these exotic animals. What would they do? How would they react? Is there any way such a creature could fit into their life? Here's my lighthearted answer. I hope you enjoy it!

One afternoon Elizabeth unexpectedly came upon her husband in the menagerie, in close consultation with his head game keeper. With them stood an animal she had never seen in person before, passively chewing on a long stem of grass. It stood about as tall as Elizabeth and had short, stubby arms and long slender ears. The animal regarded Elizabeth with mild curiosity.

"My dear," she began, not quite able to believe her eyes, "when exactly did we acquire a kangaroo?"

Darcy looked as perplexed as Elizabeth had even seen him. "My uncle the earl of Matlock sent it. He received him as a gift from the queen two years ago but thinks that the animal might do better out in the country than in town."

There were no words to describe Elizabeth's amazement. "So he sent it to us? What are we supposed to do with it?"

"Keep it, I suppose. I have no desire to offend my uncle. But I never saw a more useless creature to have on an estate, even it did originally come from the royal family! Perhaps we can pay some family in the village to take it."

Elizabeth looked at the animal again, wondering what sort of life it had led until now. "Does it have a name?"

Darcy looked again at the note that had come along with the delivery. "My uncle says his name is Hammer."

"Hammer!"

"Short for Thor's Hammer. I suppose it is a joke of some kind."

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow at the unexpected moniker. She cautiously reached out to pet him on the head and Hammer leaned into the caress, looking at her gratefully. He certainly seemed tame enough. "I think perhaps I would like to keep him."

"My dear, a kangaroo at Pemberley? What good could he possibly serve? How could we ever -"

Darcy's words were cut off by the entrance of the butler, Jenkins, who was trailed closely by the last person Darcy ever wanted to see at Pemberley.

"My apologies, sir, he would not wait to be announced," Jenkins sputtered indignantly.

"Wickham!" Darcy fairly exploded.

"Brother! How good to see you!" Wickham had a faint odor of drink about him. He stopped to stare at the kangaroo, who was looking back at him with wide, curious eyes. "What is that?"

"Never mind. How dare you come to Pemberley! And uninvited, too!"

Wickham put on his most charming smile. "Now, Darcy, you must not be so peevish. We are family, you know."

"Not by choice."

"Nevertheless, we are related, and as my relative you have a duty to give me a hand when needed. I am in desperate straits."

Darcy stared at him, unblinking. "How much this time?"

"Nothing much, at least for you. Fifty pounds or so should do the trick. Lydia and I are in rather desperate circumstances and must needs leave our latest establishment."

"Your financial worries are not my responsibility."

"You may not wish to claim me as your brother, but I know you cannot turn away your own sister."

"If Lydia wishes, she can write to Elizabeth and ask for money. But you will get nothing from me."

"I am already here. Why make me wait when you know you will eventually give me what I want?"

Darcy felt his temper rising. "Do not overestimate the tie that binds us. You shall leave Pemberley at once and never come back."

"I certainly shall not, not until you give me what I came for." Wickham sneered and crossed his arms. The scent of drink was stronger than ever.

Darcy glanced at Elizabeth, who was watching the scene with fearful fascination. "Do not make me call my servants to have you physically removed."

Wickham uncrossed his arms and raised his chin defiantly, taking a sudden step towards Darcy. "I should like to see them try it!"

Without warning a large brown fist sailed through the air and connected with Wickham's chin. For a moment Wickham stood stunned. Then his eyes rolled up in his head and his legs collapsed from under him. He fell backwards, his head hitting the soft ground with a satisfying dull thud.

"Good lord!" Elizabeth stared down at Wickham, then back at the animal still standing next to her. "I believe I could become very fond of this animal, Fitzwilliam. Do you still wish to send him into the village?"

"No indeed! Jenkins, see to it that this pathetic creature," he nodded at Wickham, "is taken to the village and sees a doctor. Then send him away on the first coach. But first take Thor's Hammer to the stable and give him the best stall there is. I think perhaps he may have a place at Pemberley after all."

There it is, just a silly little one shot. Perhaps one day I will follow this up with a tale of a parrot, a parson, and a very pretentious lady. 😊 Until then, happy reading! -Elaine