A few days later.
Walking down the hallways of her primary school, Li-Fen made her way to Mr. Diedrich's classroom on her lonesome. The hallways were mostly empty, save for a few students in the process of leaving themselves, whom she purposefully avoided.
Li-Fen felt stressed, even more so then she felt most days. Aside from the typical worries she carried when going through the day, she had an assignment coming up, one she was undeniably worried about. She had taken her medication in the morning as was instructed and took some time to preform some breathing exercises that she had been taught to keep her worries at bay, but today, nothing seemed to work. What's worse, she had forgotten the stuffed panda Ms. Chun-Li had gotten her at home. Holding onto it helped her calm down throughout the day, even if she had to do it in private.
Throughout the process, Li-Fen eyes instinctively wandered and she found herself looking over her shoulder to make sure no-one was following her. This sense of hyper-vigilance had followed her ever since those unfortunate events that transpired several months ago; her and her parents being held captive at the hands of that…horrible organization and being forced to help them in furthering their schemes. It all seemed so long ago now, but that didn't change anything. Her parents were still dead, she still carried the guilt of playing any part-unwilling or otherwise- in their plans and she still remembered the times she was forced to spend alone, hiding from them in their claustrophobic and metallic facility.
That facility…
Li-Fen suddenly heard someone coughing, causing her to freeze in her tracks. First, a feeling of dread gripped her, as her mind instantly and almost involuntarily made a conclusion as to who had made that all to familiar sound. And it horrified her.
The next time Li-Fen blinked, it was if she wasn't in the same place anymore. It looked different, smelled different and the only thing that she could hear now was coughing…horrible, choking coughing that made her feel sick to the stomach just hearing it.
She found herself frozen in place; her heart racing; every part of her body and soul completely overtaken by shock. She didn't want to believe what was unfolding in front of her was real; her parents, both desperately gasping for air as the poison gradually shut down their bodies. All it had taken was a scratch across the face, and already it had taken a deadly effect.
And then, she heard that whinging, high-pitched laugh.
"Ah-ha-ha-ha. Do you see now what happens to those who betray Lord Bison?! Or do I need to prove my point even further?"
Every fibre of her being burned with hatred upon hearing that monster's voice. He had held them captive for years, forcing her parents to work in furtherance of his plan. And there he was, prancing around her dying mother and father, the poison he had used on them dripping from his palms and flying in small droplets with every movement of his arms.
By now, Li-Fen had sunk to her knees, looking on helplessly as her parents slipped closer towards death's door.
Li-Fen cried out. "Help them! I'll tell you everything! I'll do anything, please…just help them! Make it stop!" She begged despite knowing it was no use. He wanted them dead…needed them dead.
The man sharply turned his head towards her and Li-Fen froze in petrified fear. She didn't make a sound, holding her breath as the man in purple slowly waltzed toward her, stopping just by her barely breathing father.
"Hmm, he does look like he's in a lot of pain, doesn't he?" He said in a mocking tone while kneeling down just beside him. "Yes. I believe he's learned his lesson." He jammed his poison-tipped hand straight into her father's chest.
"NO!" Li-Fen cried out. Almost immediately, her father stopped breathing almost immediately after and his body began to dissolve into a nauseating pile of purple liquid.
She firmly shut her eyes and started weakly sobbing. Her heart was racing; her body was trembling; she was struggling to breathe as it felt like her throat was blocked. But despite all that, Li-Fen felt almost numb. She had never felt more helpless, more useless then she did at that moment. They used her as leverage; they were only dead now because they used her to make them cooperate.
And she couldn't hear them anymore. All she heard were footsteps making their way towards her.
"Oh, do not weep for them, child. They made a grave mistake, well aware of the risks it presented." Li-Fen's grief gave way to anger. Anger towards the man currently mocking her and towards herself for being unable to do anything to stop him. Alas, it was anger she couldn't express: she couldn't scream and she couldn't lash out. For she was completely at his mercy.
"Now, unless you want to join them sooner rather then later, you'll tell me who else is on this scheme they've concocted behind Lord Bison's back." His voice was dangerously close to her now. "You can hear me, can't you, Li-Fen? Li-Fen? Li-Fen, it's okay. I'm not going to hurt you, I promise." Much to Li-Fen's surprise, the voice of her captor was gradually replaced with a softer, more comforting one.
Li-Fen's eyes remained shut. Still breathing heavily, she noticed that she wasn't breathing the suffocating air of Shadaloo's metallic facility, but rather that of an entirely different location. The air around her was still relatively humid, but it felt natural.
"That's it, Li-Fen. Breathe. Slow, steady breaths." The familiar voice said. She slowed down her breathing, which helped calm her racing heart somewhat and lessened her fear. "I know you're scared, Li-Fen. I know you're scared, but you're safe here. You're safe." The voice continued to reassure her.
Eventually, she managed to get to the point where it felt like both her feet were firmly in the present moment. And without even opening her eyes, she now understood that she wasn't at the base after all. Cautiously opening them and looking from side to side, she found that-sure enough-she was in the middle of her school's hallway.
"Hey there, Li-Fen." She looked to the side to find Mr. Diedrich crouching just beside her, softly smiling at her. Despite this, Li-Fen could tell that he was concerned.
"I think we think we should get you out of here. Would you like to go into my classroom?" She didn't say anything.
"Mm-hmm" She quietly uttered as an answer.
"Alright. Come on." He said as he carefully helped her to her feet. It was only a short walk to his classroom and Li-Fen kept her head low the entire way there, not saying a word to her accompanying teacher even as they entered the classroom.
Despite its relatively small size, it felt less restrictive then just about anywhere else Li-Fen had been, besides her new home. A dehumidifier was running in the background and the room was almost free of dust, which he had organized to help keep his own condition under control.
"Would you like to sit down?" He gently asked after they had entered. After she didn't answer and simply stood in silence, Mr. Diedrich walked past her and knelt down so he was at her level. "I don't want to come off as demanding…it's just best that we get you comfortable. Can I get you something, Li-Fen; some water, maybe?"
Despite it supposedly being over, the things she had seen were still fresh in her mind. And she was still scared, just as she had been that day. And one of the things she had been afraid off most was thinking that she'd be stuck there for the rest of her life…what little remained of it, considering they had all but destroyed it.
Without saying a word, she walked a few steps forward until her head was on Mr. Diedrich's shoulder and just like that, she started crying again. But it wasn't the guttural sobbing she had done earlier. This time it was quieter and marred in shame. Shame knowing that she had gotten a second chance at life that her parents did not.
"Hey, hey. You're okay, Li-Fen." He said as he placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. He had clearly not been expecting the gesture, but that didn't deter her; she just wanted to be sure she wasn't alone again.
"It was horrible…I saw….he…." She began to utter, her fear and confusion now replaced with a feeling of guilt.
"I understand. Take all the time you need." He said before she even finished.
Li-Fen held onto him until she heard footsteps coming from outside in the hall, causing her to look behind her and find that a girl around her age entering the room. She instinctively tightened her hold on her teacher.
"Easy, easy…she's not going to hurt you." He gently assured her. "Hello, Mei-Lien. Couldn't find Mrs. Fèng?" He inquired.
"No, sorry. I checked her office and asked around where I could, but they told me she's already left." The girl-who Li-Fen found strangely familiar- explained.
"Hmm…that's unfortunate." He turned to look at her. "You think you're better now, Li-Fen?" He calmly asked, to which she nodded.
"Yeah…yeah, I'm better." She said.
"Now, are you sure you wouldn't like me to get you anything; a glass of water perhaps?" Her teacher politely asked.
"Sure. I'd like that." She said, only just now realizing how dry her throat felt in the aftermath.
"Alright. Have a seat in the meantime." He led her over to the nearest chair. "If you're willing, Mei-Lien, can I ask that you to stay with her for a little bit while I go fetch some water for her?" The girl was mildly surprised by the request, but it didn't take long for her to answer.
"Of course." She answered and Li-Fen was about to protest, but decided against it. She just didn't have the energy.
"Thank you." He waited for her to sit down. "Now, I'm going to go fetch you some water. Mei-Lien here will stay with you until I come back. Try to rest a little until then, okay?" Her teacher told her once she was settled in.
"Okay." She agreed, after which he turned to leave the classroom, leaving her alone with the other girl.
A silence fell over the classroom, with Mei-Lien remaining standing just by Mr. Diedrich's desk. Li-Fen started to sniffle and wiped her nose with her sleeve, which prompted the girl to bring over a box of tissues. Li-Fen looked up at her to find she was smiling at her, making a silent insistent gesture for her to take the tissues.
"Thank you…" She managed to say before accepting the offering and blowing her nose. While she did this, Mei-Lan sat down opposite her.
"So, uh… are you feeling better?" Li-Fen looked up at her, finding herself at odds about what to say.
"I guess." She said before looking down again.
"Your name's Li-Fen, right?" She nodded. "Do you maybe want to talk? About whatever…caused that." She took on a relatively comforting tone, but Li-Fen didn't feel much like talking.
"Not really." She answered, hoping to keep the memories at bay. She didn't want it starting up again.
"Okay, well…maybe another time?" Throughout this entire awkward exchange, Li-Fen had yet to meet the other girl's eyes.
"Maybe." She replied, embarrassed to be admitting this at all.
"Right." The girl acknowledged. Suddenly, a smile found its way onto her face.
"Hmm, I know." Li-Fen watched as the other girl reached into her knapsack and took out some sort of yellow object. Upon closer inspection, she could see that it was made out of paper. "Here. For you." Mei-Lien said as she presented the object to her. Li-Fen observed it with a confused look before taking it from her.
"What is it?" Li-Fen asked after she had inspected it for a little bit.
"Oh, you've never seen one of these? It's supposed to be a type of gold ingot that used to be used in China; a sycee, they're called. I know it isn't much, but… they're used to represent upcoming fortune… and yellow is supposed to be a lucky color." After Mei-Lien finished her explanation, Li-Fen took another look down at the craft in her hands.
"Oh, well…thank you." She set the paper sycee down on her desk and as she did, a small question crossed her mind. "Do you…carry a bunch of these around with you?" She asked in genuine curiosity and thankfully, Mei-Lien reacted with a small laugh.
"Of course not. I made that one just a little while ago. I was just seeing Mr. Diedrich so I could make a final decision on what I'll be doing for Friday." This caught Li-Fen's attention.
"What're you supposed to do Friday?" She asked.
"A presentation. We're supposed to pick out something we enjoy and create a sort of "tutorial" for the class to go through. It's sort of silly, but it sounds like it will be pretty fun. Better then reading Shakespeare or Wilde passages, if you ask me." Mei-Lien explained.
"Yeah, I guess." After a little while, Li-Fen got an idea to confirm her suspicion. "Say…you wouldn't happen to also have a small journal…" She reached into her knapsack and pulled out a small book that Mr. Diedrich had given his students on the first day of school "…like this one?" Mei-Lien's expression suddenly lit up in what appeared to be realization. She reached into her own knapsack and pulled out an identical looking book.
"So, we are in the same class, then. I knew there was a reason you seemed so familiar." Li-Fen forced herself to smile.
"Yeah, I remember now. You sit a few seats behind me, left-side row. And come to think of it, I don't think I've ever heard you speak before." Li-Fen experienced a sudden surge of embarrassment and didn't say anything in response, all while hoping she wasn't blushing. And all the while, she was wondering where on earth Mr. Diedrich was.
"You alright there?" Mei-Lien asked, taking notice of her silence.
"Yeah, just…can I ask you to do something…uh…" She drew a blank, briefly forgetting the other girl's name.
"Mei-Lien." She finished for her.
"Right. Sorry." She continued. "Anyway, Mei-Lien …how much did you see?"
"You mean off your…episode?" The other girl said, seemingly unsure of what it was she saw. "I just heard someone screaming, which turned out to be you. I didn't see much of what happened after-Mr. Diedrich sent me to go get the school nurse- but…I could see you were crying." She explained.
"And I haven't seen anyone crying like that, since…" She started to say, but appeared to reconsider mid-sentence. "Well, never mind that. But I could tell it was serious." Li-Fen sat quietly twiddling her thumbs for a little while before making a simple request.
"Please don't tell anyone." Li-Fen repeated her request, and judging from the look on Mei-Lien's face, she understood why she was asking.
"Sure thing. I'll keep my mouth shut. You won't hear a word being spoken about it unless you want to share it at the lunch table or something…" Li-Fen briefly laughed.
"Fat chance…" She said. Just as it seemed that Mei-Lan was going to say something else, Mr. Diedrich returned, a glass of water in hand.
"Alright, here you are." He said as he handed her the glass.
"Thank you." She expressed as she accepted it. Taking a sip of the water, Li-Fen almost immediately felt a sense of relief from the stress brought about by the sudden outburst.
"You're free to go now, Mei-Lien. I know our meeting ended rather suddenly and well…eventfully, but I think you're on the right track with what you want to do." Mr. Diedrich said to the other girl.
"Alright, sir." She picked up her knapsack and stood up. But before she moved to leave, she took one more look at Li-Fen and smiled. "I guess I'll see you later, Li-Fen. I hope you get better." Li-Fen weakly smiled back.
"Yeah. See you later." Mei-Lien exited the classroom, leaving her alone with Mr. Diedrich.
"How you keeping?" Her teacher asked as he took a seat opposite her.
"Okay. Better, at least." After taking another minute to build up her courage, she took a deep breath and started talking again.
"Mr. Diedrich, I'm…I'm so sorry that this happened." She earnestly tried to apologize for wasting his time as he sat opposite her on a chair.
"You don't need to apologize, Li-Fen. These sorts of things happen to people with your condition. It's nothing to be ashamed off." He said, no doubt in an attempt to reassure her.
"I know, but…all I was here to do was ask for help. And all I ended up doing was wasting your time. That's all I am; a waste of everyone's time." As she said this to him, Li-Fen's voice was low and downcast.
"Come now, don't say that. You know that isn't true." He said without so much as raising his voice. His expression hadn't shifted from concerned, yet comforting one he wore throughout the whole process.
"Why do I have to be like this, Mr. Diedrich? I want to be normal. Really, I do. But instead I'm weak and pathetic and need to be coddled all the time. All because of him…because he…" She stopped herself, not wanting to give them any more thought.
"Anyhow, I remember you saying you were meaning to come in for help. What about?" He said after a brief interlude of silence.
"My presentation, sir. I wanted to rehearse a rough-draft I made over the weekend." She explained.
"That so?" Mr. Diedrich said.
"Yeah. And I admit, I've been very nervous about it and well…everything for the last few days. More so then usual." She admitted, keeping her eyes low.
"Forgive me for asking, Li-Fen, but can you say for certain what it was that triggered your flashback?" She looked up nervously. "Knowing that will help us prevent something similar from happening in the future." He explained to encourage her to answer, but it was a little while before she caved.
"I heard someone coughing…sir." She nervously twiddled her thumbs upon giving him this answer.
"Coughing, you say? Hmm…" He stroked his chin with his hand. "I didn't know that could trigger it." He stated.
"Me neither, sir." She admitted. It was to be expected; from what she had heard, even things that she didn't subconsciously remember could set off her PTSD.
"I see." Mr. Diedrich appeared to be at a loss for what to say. "Well…that's something your mother would surely like to know. We'll figure out what exactly this entails for you later." He said, which brought about a certain sense of uncertainty to Li-Fen. Instead of saying anything more, she simply nodded.
"I'm not kicking you out of my class right this moment, if that's what you're afraid off. We'll see what your mother has to say and work from there." He said, almost as if he was reading her mind.
"Now, would you like me to call your mother to come pick you up?" She nodded, knowing that it wouldn't take long for her to arrive. She had agreed to wait not far from the school while she went in for help. "Alright. I'll only be a moment." He said before walking off to do just that.
Li-Fen heard only traces of the ensuing call. Mr. Diedrich informed Ms. Chun-Li about what happened, told her she was safe and asked that she come over to get her. There were instances where she heard him saying a few reassuring words, no doubt to make sure she remained calm, which made her smile only if just a little. She tended to get rather worried about her.
"She said she's on her way. Now all that's left is for us to wait a bit until she gets here." He announced after the call had ended and he moved to sit back down opposite her.
"Sir. A couple of weeks ago, when Ms. Chun-Li came to see you, did she at any point… offer you something?" His reaction appeared somewhat puzzled.
"Well, there was a whole heap she could've offered me, but no, she did not." Li-Fen briefly wondered what those other offerings could've been, but decided to ignore it. "Why do you ask?"
Li-Fen had prepared a little something she wanted to say before she handed him the envelope; she had it in her knapsack right that moment, but something stopped her. After thinking about it, she no longer felt satisfied with what she had written in it and wanted to start from scratch in order to better reflect how she felt.
Besides, the time just didn't seem right.
"It's nothing. Nothing…" She eventually said, dismissing the subject.
"If you say so." Mr. Diedrich said, the faintest trace of disappointment in his voice. "May I see your journal?" Li-Fen looked up in mild confusion.
"What?" She asked.
"Your journal. May I see it?" He repeated himself. She handed over the small book to him, but for whatever reason, he didn't open it. Instead he simply held in his hands.
"You know…I had one of these when I was a kid." He said while holding it up on display. "It was from a suggestion my doctor made, that I should keep a journal to document the symptoms of my asthma…whether it was getting better or worse, that kind of thing. And I had enough to say about it that I was writing in it almost every day." Li-Fen noticed that the smile on his face while he was talking was only half-baked.
"Was it bad?" He nodded.
"Pretty bad. I spent a whole lot of time in bed sick and I'd always have it on hand. Except, at some point, I started not only writing about the asthma itself, but also more about how it made me feel inside. I was-angry that I couldn't do the things other kids could do without collapsing in a heap; I was sad because I could hardly go outside or do anything fun; I was scared never knowing when or whether the next attack would come and if I would die because of it." He looked up before continuing.
"I was ashamed of myself. Ashamed…for something that I had no control over. And it was all I seemed to think about. Thinking about pathetic I was; how I'd never amount to anything because of it. I thought that for a very long time and that journal of mine…" He opened up Li-Fen's journal and flipped through the first few pages, showing them to her.
"The first few pages of that would be the most depressing thing you'd ever get the displeasure of reading." He stopped a certain page, not saying anything as she looked at her latest entry.
"And what happened next?" She asked.
"Well, I kept writing in it. But as time went on, it became less about my asthma and more about the things that happened in my life. How I went swimming for the first time; me thinking up potential names for the new parakeet my family got; wondering how the funny man on the T.V knew about so many different types of cheeses and other things young me was intrigued by. And the more pages I went through, the less my asthma started to pop up in my writing." His tone was much more upbeat now that he was talking about this.
"But…it never fully disappeared neither. Every now and again, it would come back to take up space on the pages, but it would soon be swept up by a wave of things I've been doing and things I was going to do. Still, asthma was an important part of that little story I wrote in that journal…but it became less and less important as it went on." As he finished up, he handed the journal back to Li-Fen, who looked at it with a sense of new understanding.
"That there, Li-Fen…that's your own little story." He said while pointing at the journal. "This thing you're going through right now, it'll take up it's fair share of pages, but it won't be the whole book. And I hope by the time you write the last word, it'll be a story with a happy ending." He leaned forward in his seat, meeting her eyes with an understanding smile.
"And don't forget, there are people who want you to get there… and will do anything they can to help you get there."
The next few moments were spent in silence as Li-Fen mulled over her teacher's words, which was only interrupted when he heaved a heavy sigh and leaned back in his seat.
"So…any questions?" He asked in a more light-hearted fashion.
"No, I understand. At least, I think I do…" He chuckled and shook his head.
"Ah, see. I knew there was a reason I got this job." Li-Fen smiled and shifted her hands.
Most of her thoughts were focused on the things Mr. Diedrich had said to her. It was true that she sometimes felt that the things that had happened to her under Shadaloo were the only things that mattered about her and that she'd never really outgrow them, which may very well be true. Still, that didn't mean she didn't have her entire life ahead of her or that she wouldn't eventually overcome it.
"You know? I think I've spoken more then enough. How would you feel about a little music?" He said while getting up from his seat and walking over to his desk.
"Music?" Li-Fen asked, her mind immediately jumping to a certain recent memory.
By the time she asked this, Mr. Diedrich was standing behind his desk, smiling as he leaned over it. Reaching below his desk and lifted up the casing where he kept his fiddle, setting it out on display on his desk as Li-Fen's expression lit up with delight.
"So? You up for it?"
….
After pulling into the parkway of Li-Fen's primary school, Chun-Li stepped out off the discrete Ford Mondeo model vehicle provided to her by the department and moved to enter the building. Receiving that call had been the last thing she wanted to experience today; at first, she thought that Li-Fen has simply finished earlier then expected, but seeing Mr. Diedrich's work number on her screen immediately told her something had gone wrong.
She had a flashback. It had been one of her major worries when she had started going to school, the ever-present possibility of something bringing the memories of her imprisonment flooding back and having nobody there to properly help her through it. They still didn't know for certain what set her off, but the specialist they had seen said that these triggers could be just about anything, even something the patient remembered only subconsciously.
Despite her incessant worry, Mr. Diedrich has assured her she was alright. She remembered him telling her about how his grandad had the condition as well and she was sure he knew what he was doing, but it was probably best that she get to her as quickly as she could. Heaven only knew how Li-Fen must be feeling right now.
As she approached his classroom, she heard a sort of faint, melodic sound coming from it. Stopping just a few paces away from the door, Chun-Li could now distinctly make out the sound of an instrument being played, as well as an accompanying clapping. She shook her head in amused disbelief, suppressing a laugh as she remembered the story Li-Fen had told her at the dinner table a few nights ago.
She looked inside and sure enough, she found that Mr. Diedrich was playing away at the fiddle like a mad man, with Li-Fen steadily clapping along to the song. He took notice of her presence, prompting her to motion for him to keep going. Leaning against the door frame, she looked on with a wide smile on her face.
Chun-Li hadn't properly seen him since their conference a few weeks ago, but he surely left an impression on her. For one, he was a good head taller than her, which wasn't as obvious now that he was seated. He was also on the lean side as far as appearances go; it was clear he took care of himself, but not to the extreme as many men she'd run into over the years, not that she was complaining. Overexposure was a very real thing.
All that aside, what really caught her eye then was how natural what he was doing at that moment felt. His goal had clearly been to cheer Li-Fen up a little, which seemed to be working, but he also seemed so at home when he did it. It had been easy enough to assume he enjoyed working with children, but it was clear as day this was his comfort zone.
Making kids smile.
He continued to play the simple, yet uplifting tune for a good half-minute longer and once he finished, Li-Fen gave him a round of applause, laughing all the while. Sensing it was an appropriate time, she herself began to clap, something which Li-Fen heard and turned to look in her direction.
"Feeling better, Li-Fen?" She asked soon after her presence was made known.
"Ye-yes ma'am." She said, heat rushing to her cheeks in embarrassment. "How long have you been there?" Li-Fen asked.
"Oh, not too long. Just long enough to hear some of the show our friend here put on for you." She said gesturing in Mr. Diedrich's direction. "And bravo to you, sir." She complimented.
"Thank you, Mrs. Xiang." He responded with an acknowledging nod. "Well, Li-Fen, I guess it's about time we call it a day. Sorry things had to turn out the way they did." He said to her, setting his instrument to the side.
"Yeah. Still, thanks for staying with me, sir. Really, it means a lot." She said as the two of them stood up.
"My pleasure. Now, go on home and get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow." Li-Fen nodded before going over to grab her things and walking over to her awaiting mother. Her eyes were still a bit red from crying and her hair was a mess, but otherwise, it seemed like the effects of the flashback had mostly worn off. At least, the one's she could see.
"Hey. You sure you're alright now?" Chun-Li said as she knelt down to give her a hug.
"Uh-huh. Tired though…" She admitted, which made her smile.
"Bad day, huh?" Chun-Li softly asked as she continued to hold Li-Fen.
"Yeah. But…not all bad, though. I met somebody today, another girl. She was nice." Li-Fen revealed, which caught her a bit by surprise.
"Really?" She said.
"Yep. She gave me this." Li-Fen revealed a small yellow paper craft, that Chun-Li recognized almost instantly.
"A sycee? Yeah, that's pretty nice. It means she wishes prosperity onto you." She briefly explained.
"Do you think I'll get it, Ms. Chun-Li?" Li-Fen asked.
"I sure hope so, Li-Fen." She said, dispelling the doubtful thoughts running through her mind.
"Come on then, let's get out of here." She heard Mr. Diedrich say. "I reckon by now we're the only lot still in the building." He walked past her towards the door, carrying his instrument case in one hand and slinging his brown leather bag over his other shoulder. He stopped to wait for them just by the door.
Looking back at Li-Fen, she opened her arms and arched her brow as an offer to carry her. Li-Fen stood in silent contemplation for just a moment, before she sighed in resignation.
"Alright, fine…" She agreed as she took a step forward to let Chun-Li carefully pick her up.
"Good girl." Chun-Li said as she secured her in her arms.
Chun-Li promptly carried Li-Fen out of the classroom and stopped just besides her teacher, who locked the door behind him. After he was done, he straightened himself out and looked at them, appearing somewhat surprised they were still with him.
"I'm not under arrest, am I?" He said as he raised his hands in mock surrender. She couldn't stop an amused sigh from escaping her lips.
"No…but I would still like to escort you out of the building. And, well…say thank you for what you did." Mr. Diedrich briefly laughed, before reaching down to pick up his instrument case.
"No need for thanks, Ms. Xiang. Any sensible person would've done the same, no doubt." He said as the three of them began walking down the hall. "I, uh…should however fill you in on something. From what we've gathered, my blasted coughing was what triggered it." Chun-Li looked over to him in surprise.
"Is that true, Li-Fen?" She asked her daughter.
"Yes, it is." She answered somewhat hesitantly. They had already compiled a fairly extensive list of triggers for her condition, with the most obvious being anything related to skulls and the color purple. Still, she knew that the nature of PTSD would mean a new one would eventually spring up.
"Does this…change anything?" She asked Mr. Diedrich.
"Not unless you want it too. Me and Li-Fen talked about it for a bit, and she didn't seem fond of the idea but…that's something I'll leave for the two of you to decide together. I'm obviously not asking for an answer right here and now, but give it some thought." After he explained his proposition, Chun-Li pondered his words for a moment.
"Alright. We'll do just that." She agreed, though Li-Fen appeared somewhat irked at the prospect.
"In that case, let me know as soon as you can." She nodded and the trio walked down the stairs in relative silence.
"So…do you also teach music or…what?" Chun-Li inquired, to which Mr. Diedrich's immediate response was an amused chuckle.
"Nah. It's more of a… prized hobby, if you will. Been doing it since I was six or seven years old." He revealed while slightly lifting his instrument up.
"That long?" She said, more then a little impressed.
"Yes, ma'am." He responded rather proudly.
"Who taught you how to play, Mr. Diedrich?" Li-Fen suddenly asked. Owen didn't respond straight away.
"My granddad…he taught me how to play. He…he was very good with it." Him saying this caused a noticeable shift in his tone from a humorous to slightly more somber. Chun-Li suddenly remembered how he mentioned his grandfather in their last meeting.
"So I see. He must be a great teacher, too." She chose her words more carefully this time, not wanting to cast a downer on things.
"Yeah. The best…" He said in agreement, his voice noticeably lower. Soon afterwards, he strengthened himself out. "Well, what would we be without our family?" He said soon after.
"Indeed." She said.
By now, they were close to the front doors. Mr. Diedrich went ahead and opened one of them, courteously holding it open for her and Li-Fen to pass through it. For whatever reason, Chun-Li briefly paused before continuing forward, a smirk on her face.
"Why, thank you, sir." She said out of courtesy.
"Of course. Well, it looks like it's about time we went our separate ways. You be sure to rest up nice and well, okay Li-Fen?" He said as the three of them approached her car.
"I will, Mr. Diedrich. What about my presentation?" Li-Fen asked.
"Depends on how you feel tomorrow. You come to me sometime before the end of the day and we'll have a chat about it, figure out if we need to move it back or anything of that sort. Though-if I were to give any advice, I think you should try coming at lunch this time." They stopped just in front of the car, with the two of them facing her teacher.
"But when are you going to eat?" Li-Fen asked in a slightly more confident tone.
"Don't worry about it, eh? My lunches are usually light, anyhow." He said while raising a finger in the air. Li-Fen briefly looked at her, no doubt looking for support, but the expression she made must've told her she had to comply.
"Okay. I'll be there." She eventually agreed.
"Very good, Li-Fen. Now…" He opened the back door of Chun-Li's car. "You go on home. I'll see you tomorrow." He said with a small smile.
"I'll try. Bye, Mr. Diedrich!" Li-Fen said as Chun-Li carefully put her in the back seat of the car. After she closed the door, she turned to him.
"I don't suppose you want a ride home, do you?" She asked with her arms crossed across her chest.
"Thank you, but my place isn't far enough to warrant that. You just get her home. Still…" He extended his free hand. "It was good to see you again, Ms. Xiang. Even if the circumstances weren't exactly ideal." Chun-Li shook his hand with both of hers.
"Yeah. Thank you so very much for helping her. It really means a lot to me." She said in earnest.
"Don't mention it." She let go of his hand then. "I'd best be on my way. You both take care now."
"Yeah, you too. And I'll be sure to get in touch with you when we figure this thing out…hopefully sooner rather then later." Chun-Li said as she walked around her car to get to the driver's seat, stopping once she got to it.
"Of course. Bye now." Mr. Diedrich gestured his goodbye before turning around and walking off in the opposite direction. She watched him leaving for a few more seconds before putting their vehicle in gear and driving away. Looking into the rear-view mirror, she saw Li-Fen glancing in her direction, a silly smile on her face.
"What?" She questioned in an amused tone.
"Nothing." Li-Fen said without wiping the smile from her face. "I just think it's very nice what he did." She followed up by saying.
"Yes, I guess it is. Say, how'd you feel about maybe stopping by and grabbing something on the way back? It'll be my treat." She suggested.
"I think we should just go home…we can do that another time. Don't forget that you promised we would practice today." She pointed a finger at her while speaking in a surprisingly upbeat tone.
"Don't worry, I haven't. And I didn't say we needed to have it right away…we can save it for after." To this, Li-Fen responded with a giggle.
"Assuming you'll leave any for me, that is." Chun-Li let out a mock exclamation of shock.
"What are you accusing me off, young lady?" She demanded in much the same joking tone as her.
"You know what." She responded, causing her to shake her head and briefly laugh. Li-Fen tended to tease her like this at opportune moments, something she figured only ever happened when the two of them together.
"In all seriousness, Li-Fen, I'm really sorry I can't be with you as much as I used to be. I know the past few months have been very hard for you." She said, changing her tone to a much more professional one.
"That's alright. I knew they would be…and not just for me."
"What do you mean?" She asked her.
"That I know you're worried about me…and constantly wondering if you're doing right by me. And I guess…I guess I'm worried that you're worried, if that makes any sense."
Chun-Li didn't say anything in response for the next little bit, instead taking some time to digest what Li-Fen had just said to her. It was true that she had been dealing with a constant nagging feeling that she wasn't giving Li-Fen the attention she deserved and that she was failing her somehow, which was part of the reason she had gone to Mr. Diedrich for help.
Providing for the two of them had become another worry, leading to her taking longer hours at the department, which in turn made her worry that she was ignoring her and so on until an entire crazy quilt of doubts had formed in her mind. She'd lost sleep on many nights because of it.
"Li-Fen, that's very sweet, but I promise you that I'm fine. I just…" Seeing as they found themselves at a spotlight when she started to say this, Chun-Li turned her head to look at her properly. "I want you to be happy. After everything that's happened to you, you deserve nothing less." She turned back to the road.
"I want you to be happy too, Ms. Chun-Li. You know that." Li-Fen said to her.
"Then I guess we have a shared reason to try a little harder, don't you think?" Li-Fen's eyes travelled to the floor, but her soft smile didn't fade.
"Yeah." Was all she responded with. The two of them were quiet for the next little while, with the only noise being heard was the bustle of the city outside.
"I love you." Chun-Li broke her focus from the road and looked back at Li-Fen, flashing her a warm smile.
"I love you, too, Li-Fen."
…..
Later that day.
An opened journal lay on a recently cleared dinner table, save for a glass of water, a plate of scones and a rather generic vase of flowers in the middle. Having finished eating, Owen set about recording his thoughts on the day gone by, just as he had done almost every day for the past two decades. It was like an intimate friend you could always tell how you're feeling and recently, he had become much more appreciative off it.
He didn't quite know what it was, but he felt overwhelmed in a way he hadn't felt even on his hardest teaching days in Halifax. Everything still felt so new to him, even after a month and a half of living here. The expectations set for him - by students, parents and his superiors alike - seemed far higher then they've ever been; he learned quickly that competition was something that was very prevalent here.
Owen was interrupted from writing his journal entry by the sound of his electric kettle going off, prompting him to put down the pen and go over to turn it off before pouring the boiling water into a cup. Having just finished making and eating his dinner, he was ready to settle in for his nightly serving of licorice tea, which he had every night before bed. His asthma constantly threatened to act up when he tried to sleep, so any precaution he could take to prevent it was necessary.
Leaving the tea to settle for a few minutes, he moved away from his kitchen and into the relatively spacious living room of his serviced apartment. Finding adequate lodgings for his stay here had been among the most stressful parts of his contract, but his contractors had set him up with a fairly well-respected real estate company, which netted him a well-furnished, one-bedroom apartment in Fortress Hill for a reasonable price.
Owen set a reminder that he owed his agent, Lee, a hearty thanks before his contract was up. Hong Kong real estate was a hell of an ocean to wade into.
With a heavy sigh, he walked over to his bedroom to pick up the book he was in the middle of reading. After picking it up from the nightstand by his bed, he returned to the living room and went to retrieve his tea, taking both items to a reading chair at the far end of the room. Taking a sip of the relieving drink before setting it down on a coaster on a left side table, which also had a reading lamp on it, Owen took a seat on the chair. However, his attention was first drawn to the table in front of him and the contents on it.
Before he left on this assignment, each member of his family had pitched in to give him a small reminder of home to take with him.
His retired grandfather gave him a collection of beautiful photographs he had taken off Kejimkujik National Park, their family's favorite camping spot.
His older sister and her husband both pitched in to get him a new pair of reading glasses, which he always kept on hand.
His young niece gave him a drawing off the two of them ice-skating, a common pastime of theirs when he babysat her. It was signed "Have fun in Hong Kong, Uncle Owen. I'll miss you!"
His mother gave him a cookbook filled with a bunch of family recipes, which he kept in the kitchen.
His surviving grandmother gave him a framed collection of the feathers his family's trio of budgerigars- Morgan, Liam and Sammy- had lost during moulting, each with their own reserved space for their unique blend of colors.
His father gave him an album of songs by Stan Rogers, his favorite musician. He could very easily find it online, but this particular one he gave him was particularly special; Owen and his dad would oftentimes sing his songs together.
And as a final, collective gift, he was given a framed portrait of his entire extended family, which was taken just a few years before he started college. His sister and her husband sat on ground, with their barely two-year-old daughter between them, his mom and dad stood on either side of him and at the centre were his two grandfathers, sitting beside each other in chairs with their respective wives by their sides.
Looking at the photo always made Owen smile, not just because these were the people he had shared a home with his entire life, but because of what it represented. His two grandfathers had been best friends before their respective children fell in love and decided to get married; Owen's dad stood on the side of his own father, a veteran of the Royal Canadian Navy and his mother on the side of her Irish father, whose only reminder of his service was the prosthetic leg he wore in place of his missing left one.
Owen looked up from the photo and around his apartment, letting out a heavy sigh as he did. He knew he was well past the age where he had to start making a living for himself, but that didn't stop him from missing his family terribly. He hadn't expected to take living by himself as hard as he did; spending almost two and a half decades surrounded by his family members, there came several times where they got on his nerves and left him longing for the simplicity of privacy. Now that he had it, he found himself longing for the reverse.
But out of all the people in that photo, he missed his wounded grandfather the most, because he would be the only one he wouldn't see again come Christmas. The long-term, largely untreated PTSD he suffered both his long-term service and from the event that cost him his leg eventually contributed to his development of atherosclerosis; he passed away from a heart attack the year Owen had started college.
It still hurt knowing he was gone. Because both his father and his father's father were navy men, they would be away from home for long bouts of time, leaving Owen mostly in the care of the women of the house as he grew up; a sharp divide in who held teaching position in primary schools meant he was taught mostly by women as well. This left his late grandfather as his only consistent male care-giver, so Owen naturally latched on to him.
Owen loved his mother. He loved his sister and his grandmothers, and he held many of his early teachers in high regard, but he adored his grandfather.
He had a level of energy that outmatched just about any other person he knew, even with his missing limb. He inspired in Owen a love of the outdoors with the trips he'd take him on and actively encouraged him to pursue activities he doubted he could do because of his asthma, leading to him discovering his love for swimming and ice-skating. He played an active part in teaching him to read, helped by his penchant for story-telling and knowledge of his native Ireland's literary traditions.
Yet his grandfather teaching him how to play the fiddle he had brought over with him from his home remained Owen's fondest memory from his childhood, and, in hindsight, it was the catalyst for what lead to him becoming a teacher, and really, the person he was today. It had been the first time he had felt like he was capable of accomplishing something great, asthma be damned.
As he grew up, he developed a desire to be a role-model for children in the same way his grandfather was for him; a source of positivity and someone who encouraged them to realize their full potential. The man was and continued to be his hero.
Owen took another sip of his tea and finally turned his attention back to his book, but after he had been reading for only a few minutes, his phone suddenly went off. He had made a point to tell his student's parents that they could reach him via phone after school hours, but only before 8:30 PM and only for matters concerning academics. Picking up his phone, he saw a familiar number on his screen and answered the call.
"Hello. Owen Diedrich speaking." He said after he put the phone to his ear.
"Yes, hello. It's…Li-Fen's mother. Is this a bad time?" A familiar voice said on the other end of the line, which immediately caused him to feel just a little nervous.
"Not at all, Ms. Xiang. Good evening to you." He said in reply. "How is she?" He asked to start them off.
"She's fine…for now, at least. Just needs. Still, something tells me this isn't going to be the last time she goes through something like this." Ms. Xiang answered with an obvious worry.
"It's an unfortunately persistent disorder, Ms. Xiang, so I'm afraid you might be right." He spoke based on experience. "On that note, have you two talked about what you're going to do?" He said.
"Yeah, that why I called. We talked about it over dinner and she made it very clear, very quickly that she didn't want to transfer out of your class. She said something about how she didn't want to keep letting her condition interfere with her life and that she just had to be more careful and…*sigh*. Well, I'm sure you get the gist of it by now." Owen slightly smiled upon hearing this.
"And what did you think?" He asked, needing to hear both sides off the debate.
"I agreed with her. For slightly different reasons, maybe, but I agreed." Owen arched his brow curiously.
"That so?" He asked.
"Yeah. Ever since she started school, I've been worried about that…lingering possibility that her condition would flare up again and something really bad would happen to her. Day in, day out, I'd think about it. It's just…nice having someone on the other side who she, and I, can count on, you know?" Her words sounded sincere.
"Hmm, sure. Though it is still possible for me to serve that role without necessarily being her teacher, isn't it?" He said to present an alternative view on things.
"Maybe." She agreed. "But listen. Between you and me, I think keeping you as a teacher will be good for her. Because from what I've heard and seen, you seem like a fun guy to be around." Owen was briefly to surprised to respond. That certainly wasn't a compliment he expected to hear today.
"Well, uh…thank you, I suppose. But if she stays, are there any changes I should make to better accommodate her?" He asked.
"Not unless you can wave a magic wand and make your asthma go away…which unfortunately isn't in the cards. Besides, we've gone this long without incident, so I guess you know how to control it well enough." She said, making a pretty good point in doing so.
"Yes, it turns out having her in my early morning class was the best possible time. I take medication every morning and if it flares up, it tends to happen close to the end of the day." He paused briefly to cough into his sleeve.
"So I see." Ms. Xiang said as he refocused himself.
"Oh, it's the goddamn dust mites. Can't get away from them. Excuse me." He said in mild frustration before taking a quick sip of his tea, which helped soothe his throat. "
"You still with me?" Owen shook his head as sense returned to him.
"Yeah…I am." He quickly said. Another brief silence followed.
"Listen, Owen…can I call you Owen?" Somewhat surprised by the question, he took just a moment to consider it.
"I…suppose. Why?" He heard her sigh.
"Well, you see, the main reason I called is to find out whether you want to keep Li-Fen in your class." Again, he was caught off guard by her question.
"How do you mean?" He asked, keeping his tone the same.
"Don't take this the wrong way, but having a student like her, a student with her condition is already stressful enough. Add that onto everything else that's expected of you and it becomes…I'm not sure about the right word for it, but it's difficult." Owen let her words sink in for a moment. "So, I guess what I'm asking is "do you think you'd be okay with all that?" I don't want you to go through any unnecessary headaches for something that's ultimately my responsibility."
Owen was speechless. It wasn't often that a parent would contact him to ask for his own desires in an arrangement; usually, they just expected him to go along with whatever it was they concocted. Really, the fact she was reaching out like this at all was… strangely touching.
But one thing he hated more then anything was walking away from a commitment.
"Ms. Xiang, I'm…I'm thankful for your consideration, but I'm not ready to give up on your daughter just yet." He said after a hefty pause.
"Are you sure?" She said in response.
"I'm sure. The moment a student walks through my classroom doors on the first day, they're my responsibility. And I don't walk away from them if I can help it." Owen waited for Ms. Xiang to respond.
"I see. So, should I tell her she's not going anywhere?" He smiled and nodded.
"Yeah. You do that." He said happily. "Is there anything else?" He said afterwards.
"Hmm…" She stayed quiet for long enough that Owen started to wonder whether she had hung up without him knowing. "How're you doing?" She asked in a more casual tone.
"Ughh...seriously?" He asked with an amused tone, slouching back in his seat.
"Hey, I'm just trying to break the ice. Is that so wrong?" She said.
"I'm…alright, I suppose. A little homesick, maybe, but other then that, I'm alright." He admitted after a moment of contemplation. "And you?" He asked.
"Fine. Still adjusting to this whole…parenting thing, I guess. It wasn't something I pictured myself doing and then it just sort off happened, you know?" Owen smiled, knowing full well what she meant.
"Yeah, I hear you." He said in agreement. "Still, you know what they say; experience is the best teacher." He followed up by saying.
"So I've heard." She said before pausing for a bit. "How do you deal with them though…kids, I mean?"
"Well…I don't know what to tell you. Every student has their own way of learning, and every teacher has their own way of teaching. And as someone who's been both, I can tell you…I'm still as much a fool now as I was when I started." He heard Ms. Xiang laugh a little over the phone, which caused whatever it was he wanted to say next to catch in his throat. There was something oddly…gratifying about hearing it.
"Very amusing, but you didn't quite answer my question." She said somewhat sarcastically.
"That's just it. There is no one answer. To be a teacher, you need to learn what your student is capable off, so they can then do the same. And after that, all that's left is to give them a little nudge out the door, but also being sure to leave it open when you do."
"Hmm, interesting. I'll keep that in mind." Ms. Xiang said after a brief pause.
"Yeah, you do that." He said in response.
"You know something? Li-Fen is lucky to have a teacher like you. You're a good man, Owen." For whatever reason, having her say this caused a sort of elating feeling to sweep over him.
"Ah, Ms. Xiang. You're making me blush." He intended it as a joke, though there may've been some truth to it.
"I'm sure. Oh, and Owen…?" She began to say.
"What?" He asked curiously.
"Call me Chun-Li." She said soon after, letting silence hang for a little while. "You have yourself a good night now." She eventually said.
"Thank you…Chun-Li. You as well." With that, the call was ended and Owen was left to take in the relative silence of his apartment, with the only noise being the dehumidifier working overtime at the other end of the room.
Owen sharply exhaled through his nose and slightly shook his head while slightly covering his face with a hand, smiling broadly. That had been perhaps the most gracious conversation he'd had with a parent, well…ever. Sometimes, he forgot just how much of an effect words like that could have.
Soon after the call had ended, he looked down at his half-written journal entry. After looking down at it for a little while, Owen set about erasing the writing he had put down so he could start anew.
October 15th, 2016
Today was an eventful day, but maybe not for the best of reasons.
For one, a student by the name of Li-Fen Xiang had a PTSD flashback just outside my classroom, which she said happened because she heard somebody coughing, which in this case was me. I asked her and her mother to consider whether she should be transitioned to another class due to the risk this presents her, but it seems neither of them are keen on that idea.
Ms. Xiang actually offered me a way out when she called to tell me the results. She took the words right out of my mouth when she said that looking after a child like Li-Fen is difficult; I've already lost my fair share of sleep worrying if I'm doing right by the students who don't have any major obstacles to their learning, but then you add something like this to the mix and the pressure mounts up even more.
Then again, I didn't take this job because I thought it would be easy. I used to be one of those kids, who needed more help then most were willing to give. And you know what? I still pulled through and I know she can too. That's why I turned her down and not because she bruised my honor or anything silly like that. It's hard even for me to remember sometimes that I'm still a human at the end of the day and that teaching is just that- a job. So having someone recognize that is…well, it's nice. Nice to feel valued, even if just a little. She's a good woman, that Chun-Li, I can tell; Li-Fen's lucky to have someone like her looking after her.
This has already gone on a little too long, so I should probably close this entry by saying "Hang in there… for however long, hang in there."
...
Author's Note:
Okay, so just like last time, I jinxed myself and took far longer then expected in getting this chapter published. Most of what you see ended up being thought up and written after I had already published my first chapter, when I decided I wanted to extend the story to get more insight into the characters. A lot of my writing time was spent trying to portray Li-Fen's PTSD in a way that both made sense from a story-telling perspective and didn't come off as insensitive, as well as getting the dialogue in the best form I could.
Still, I'm going to see this story through to the end, whenever that will be. Stay tuned.
