"I'm sorry, What?!" Yelled a red-faced Edward, mission outline in hand. He sat in the chair in front of Colonel Mustang's desk, with Roy sitting in his chair and Hawkeye stood beside him.

"It's an undercover mission, Fullmetal. We'll be posing as a family, myself and Hawkeye being your parents, and you being our son." Roy sighed. Edward sat in silence as he gaped at them. Suddenly, he broke out into gut-wrenching laughter, whole-hearted and full, echoing off of the walls and worsening Roy's growing headache. He wiped a few stray tears from his eyes as he began to calm down.

"You're telling me, that you and I. Have to live in a house. Together. And you have to pretend to be my father?" He questioned, grin still plastered on his face. Roy rubbed his temples.

"Yes, Fullmetal. That is what I'm telling you." He breathed, voice filled with dread. Ed doubled over with laughter again, and even the ever-stoic Hawkeye managed a small grin.

"I-I'm sorry," He panted. "That's just the funniest thing I've ever heard." Roy grimaced.

"Funny or not, Fullmetal. It's our job and we've got to do it." Ed still giggled under his breath as he read through the file. A mischievous smirk began to grow on his face.

"Does that mean I get to call you daddy?"

Roy turned beet red and buried his head in his hands. Ed chuckled uncontrollably. "What's the matter, daddy?" He taunted.

"Fullmetal, I swear to God, I will torch you." He spat, hands poised to snap. Ed just beamed at him.

"Relax, dad. I'm just getting into character." He protested. Roy groaned and rubbed his face in exasperation.

"Anyways," He started, bringing the conversation back on track and away from the idea of him being a father. "You'll be infiltrating the local school posing as an eighth grade student. The serial killer we're after is notorious for going after school children, so naturally, you'll be finding out whatever information possible from the inside." Ed's smile fell and his eyes narrowed.

"Bullshit. You're using me as bait." Roy smirked.

"You do have a habit of attracting negative attention, Fullmetal. But that's hardly my fault." Ed sneered at him.

"I can't believe you're sending me back to school. I haven't been to school since fourth grade, and when I did, it was in a tiny rural town with a whole bunch of random kids tossed into the same room!" Ed threw his arms up in protest.

"Regardless, Fullmetal. You're a precious resource in this mission. Having you in the school is our best bet on catching the killer. You wouldn't want anyone else to die, now would you?" Ed gave him a look, but stayed silent. Roy smirked triumphantly. "That's what I thought." Ed rolled his eyes.

"The killer has struck 5 times so far," Roy continued, handing a manila folder to Ed. "Murdered 2 boys and 3 girls all between the ages of 10 and 15, and all attending the same school. Kinsley Academy. That's where you come in." He added. Ed nodded absentmindedly as he flipped through the mission outline. "Havoc and Fuery have already assumed positions in the school, Havoc as a janitor, and Fuery as an office assistant. Should you find yourself in any danger, you will report to one of them immediately." Ed nodded again.

"All this is good and well, but what does this have to do with us? I mean, this seems like police business." He questioned, brow raised. Roy grinned.

"I knew you'd ask, Fullmetal. The police have handed it over to us upon discovering the killer may be using alchemy to commit his crimes." Ed's eyes widened.

"What kinda psycho uses alchemy to commit murder?" Roy just shrugged.

"That's what we're going to find out." Ed nodded and slammed the folder shut between his hands.

"Okay, well, I guess I'll send Al to stay with Winry and Pinako while I'm gone. I bet he'll like that." Ed scratched the back of his head in thought. "When do we leave?"

"First thing tomorrow. Better get packing." Ed's jaw dropped.

"What?! Thanks for the warning!" He scowled. Roy smirked and shrugged.

"The train to Kinsley leaves at 0800 hours. I expect you to be there 15 minutes early ready to go." Ed was already on his way to the door.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. No promises." He drawled, waving his hand in the air.

"8 o'clock, Fullmetal!" Ed slammed the door behind him.

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Edward stretched out the knots in his muscles after the long train ride. He stood at the Kinsley station, taking in the rolling hills and green meadows. The smell of cedar and pine filled the air and brought him back to his life in Resembool, if only just for a moment.

"Well, here we are." Roy exclaimed, setting each of his two suitcases down with a thud. "Ready for our new life here, Edward?" Ed rolled his eyes and knelt down next to Black Hayate's kennel. He gave the dog a few pats and clipped the leash to his collar. Riza stood alongside Roy, pulling her suitcase behind her while shouldering a large bag. Ed found it hard not to chuckle as he saw the two looking obnoxiously normal. Roy, in a navy blue button-up tee shirt and khaki shorts, and Riza, in a white blouse and black tights, sunglasses perched atop her head. Ed bit his lip as they walked down the road towards their temporary home. Soon after, they stood in front of a quaint two story red brick house. The lawn appeared well taken care of, with shrubs and bushes leaning against the front of the house. The shutters were a clean white, along with the door. It was as standard and normal as you could get, exactly what they were aiming for.

"Welcome home, everyone!" Roy declared, arms gesturing widely to the house. "Let's get settled in, shall we?" Ed and Riza then filed into the house after Roy. Ed took a good look around the fully furnished house. There was a fireplace in the corner, made out of the same brick as the house itself, surrounded by two brown armchairs and a loveseat. The floor was a deep mahogany hardwood, covered by a large rug in the middle of the room. It looked cozy. Edward kicked off his boots and let Hayate off of his leash to let him look around.

"Alright, Edward. Your room is upstairs, along with ours, want to take a look?" Asked Riza. Edward nodded with a shrug. He picked up his suitcase and followed Roy and Riza up the stairs. Edward's room was settled on the far end of the hallway, with a white door and black handle. Inside, there was a single bed with white bedding and a metal frame. The floor matched the rest of the house, and Ed was pleased to see the walls painted a fiery red. The room was sparse at best, with two matching white dressers and a bookcase in the corner, (which Ed intended to fill) a white desk and chair, and no decor in the bland room, which Ed didn't really mind. Ed dropped his suitcase onto the bed and plopped down alongside it. It felt good to feel something cushioned beneath him after spending so many hours on those train seat abominations.

"Alright, Edward. Why don't you get unpacked? Our rooms just down the hall, we'll be unpacking ourselves if you need anything." Ed smiled and nodded to Riza in the doorway, before she disappeared down the hall. Ed swiveled around and gazed out the window above his bed. It was very green around here, much like the grassy hills of his home. Ed smiled at the memory before he threw open his suitcase and began sorting through his things. He placed his many alchemy books in neat lines on the shelves, leaving out the one he was in the middle of, and instead laying it down on the desk. He put his small black book in a desk drawer along with his research notes, and then turned his attention to the few pieces of clothing he owned. Ed wore the same outfit every day, since he could easily clean them with alchemy, he had no reason to own many clothes. Aside from his signature look, he only owned one pair of pajamas, a red sweatshirt, and a pair of grey sweatpants; and although Ed didn't know much about school dress code, he figured people may begin to notice if he wore the same sweater and pants every day. Ed had finished packing away his clothing, which all fit into one drawer with room to spare. He scratched the back of his head nervously. He may have to go shopping.