Zenitsu was eight when he first met Tanjirou.

Maybe 'meet' wasn't the right word. Zenitsu will firmly and forever stand by his point that the entire memory was awkward to high hell. There were no greetings, no rush of excitement at seeing a new face, just a chocolate-stained piece of paper folded in half in his tiny hands. He'd picked it out from the pile by chance. With each child lining up by order of age, the preteens just shy of being transferred to a different orphanage had first dibs on who would become their (and he would never say this embarrassing phrase to Tanjirou) forever friend.

Don't blame him for such a childish term! That's just what Miss Sakura had called it. At least, back then, she was the only one who gave Zenitsu the time of day so he trusted her. She was an older lady and one of the caretakers at the orphanage. With a smile crinkling her face upward, she held the basket to Zenitsu like she was handing out cookies. The gesture was enough for the brunet to shoot out tiny hands in hopes that there really were confectionaries wrapped within the letters, aiming for the page stained with the scent of chocolate. He's had a sweet-tooth since he was born and would cling to this trait of his until his death.

Before he could open it, a large hand landed on his hair, startling his nerves. He had an over-active imagination. He knew that, so he must've imagined the way her red nails scrapped against his scalp almost painfully. "Don't read it too fast, Zenitsu-kun. Take your time before replying. You wouldn't want what happened with Sakamoto-san to happen to your forever friend."

Zenitsu flinched, already feeling tears well up in his eyes.

Sakamoto-san had arrived to finalize his adoption not even days ago. The woman was strict, clothes high-end in a way that indicated that she was from exorbitant amounts of wealth. Yet despite the way the caretakers at their orphanage simpered and complimented her, there was still a tut with every breath she took and a pinch in her brow. She was never satisfied around Zenitsu. It was hell, okay! He didn't even know why he caught her eye. He didn't know until his music instructor made him sit in front of the entire building, piano before him and forced him to play every single note on the page for hours on end. The only reprieve was when her hard glance would morph into a bored hum.

Despite her clear interest in Zenitsu's prowess with the instrument, in the end, the adoption fell through. He could play effortlessly half the time but he'd break down into tears whenever he was having a bad day. They were random and came without warning so without any clear signs of fixing him, Sakamoto resigned. It made sense. That's what the nurses would whisper behind his back without knowledge that he could hear every word. He's Zenitsu, after all.

Every curl of his stomach and in his gut begged to escape in the form of a wail. To sob again in a way that the other kids his age should've already grown out of. He breathed in, snot forming in his nose and body shaking. He could hear the sound of annoyance buzzing around him (hear? You can't hear that kind of shit! What a creep), some from his roommates, the others from the adults in the back eyeing him warily.

The crashing tunes made the knot worsen, but Zenitsu held it back if only for the reassurance that there was a tiny sweet waiting for him in the letter. Yet all of that went out the window when the boy behind him, sick of waiting for his turn, shoved him to the ground.

Just like that, Zenitsu snapped. He sobbed, screamed like a mess in the middle of the dining hall. The sounds got worse, louder, as the silence of everyone staring at him transformed into a buzz of whispers.

"See...? This is why we can't get rid of him."

"So many missed opportunities. Imagine how much money we would've gotten from the Sakamoto family for him if he just learned to keep his mouth shut."

"Why didn't Sakamoto notice me?! She would've bought me so many new toys."

"I knew it. At this rate, his only chance is to marry some girl desperate enough for a husband."

He clung to Miss Sakura's leg. He was bad enough as a teenager but as a small child, his bawls left his throat in ugly rivets and uncontrollable bouts of panic. She cooed in comfort, even as her sound turned black with hatred.

It was only later, curled up in a worn down blanket in his bed, that Zenitsu calmed down enough to remember the crumpled letter that was stuffed into his pocket. He huffed into his dirty pillow. Frayed black hair stuck to his forehead from all the dried tears. His heart still ran a mile a minute, the sting in his eyes prominent and the pain in his head from all the noise around him barely faded. He hated being born with these ears. They made him different and anxious in a way that wasn't cool.

He still wanted his chocolate. So he unfolded the paper, careful not to rip it apart in his anxious haze. There was no chocolate. Instead, the scattered words from a handwriting that he didn't recognize stared back at his honey eyes.

Hello,

I'm Tanjirou Kamado! I'm seven years old. My feverit favourite colour is green. When I grow up, I want to be a baker just like mom! I also like singing. I wach Sailor Moon with my little sister every satu Saturday. I'm sorry. I know my writing isn't very good. Okaa-san helped me write a lot of this! I want my new friend to like me. It would be sad if you did not. Our teacher said that you wud be sad bekus because you were from a place called aN _ orphanage. That is why I need to be nice in this letter! We just learned that word today. That's not good! When we meet, you can join my familie. So don't b sad.

My familie is thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis big! They alredi already love you. Okaa-san bakes cakes every day and sells them at our bakery. She told me to say hi 4 her. Otou-san is sick a lot. I got him some cake but he only ate half! Hanako fished the rest. It dropped on the paper. I'm sorry!

Nezuko is my yunger younger sister. She's so pretty. She has problems talking bekus of a de-form-it-y on her mouth but she's still very pretty! Ignore Takeo. He said a mean thing just now when I ask him to say hi to you. Hanako is just a baby. But she smiled when I showed her this paper! She likes you.

I hope you say hi too!

From Tanjirou

Tiny eight-year old Zenitsu remembers his head spinning. What. What did it all mean?! He needed answers and these words that were nicer than anything anyone has ever said to him in his life weren't helping!

The strangest thing was that it wasn't unpleasant. The ache behind his eyes subdued the slightest. It was like he could imagine the voice of the one behind the words chirping out excitedly with every word. This Tanjirou person had such a big family, such a big heart. He could tell already from reading his words that he had a lot of love to give. Already, Zenitsu can't help but to be sucked in, intrigued by what Tanjirou meant about Nezuko having a deformity, by whether he got along with Takeo all right, by the details of his sick father and why he couldn't finish the cake.

But, and here the spark of excitement in his chest burned out, would that still be true when they found out it was Zenitsu they were talking to? He was the one who chose Tanjirou, not the other way around. Just like all of the other friends he made in the orphanage, he could already imagine the change in tone behind the letters as Tanjirou slowly began to find out more about Zenitsu. They'd start out piqued, curious at the prospect of a new person with weirdly coloured eyes. Slowly, that interest would wane into a dulling disappointment.

He didn't like playing with blocks or wrestling in the mud. He screamed and cried a lot, unable to handle the contempt he heard in everyone's heartbeats. He couldn't sleep, bothered by the sounds of clicking more than two houses away. Zenitsu thought it best if Tanjirou was disappointed right away rather than try to drag it out. That way, the other could at least switch forever friends and Zenitsu could escape as unscathed as possible.

Still, he procrastinated. That was another part of him that he hated. Everyone at the orphanage was required to hand in their response letter by the end of the week. Yet Zenitsu stayed in the back, breaths quick in between classes as words swam in his head on what to say back.

Kaigaku, his seatmate and a kid only two years his senior, grew exasperated at the whimpers. "Just write it already!"

"B-But I can't...!" Zenitsu nearly threw himself to the first person who was kind enough to talk to him that week, but the other boy's glare kept him glued to his seat. He knew better than to touch him anyway. Kaigaku was well known in their class as the trouble child. Barely ten yet he had already started over twenty fights with the older kids.

"Most pen pals don't even reply back ever again! Only the first letter is mandatory. It's just a stupid assignment."

"I just can't. There's no way. I can't do it."

The taller boy let out a frustrated noise then went back to his work. Just like that, their minimal interaction was over. Still, some part of Zenitsu took the other's nagging to heart. He was right. He should just get it over with. He'd already looked over the sample letters provided to them by the teachers about two dozen times. Just as well, the night before they were to hand in their responses, Zenitsu sat on his bed, crinkling the corner of the page between his fingers.

Right. His goal was to scare this Tanjirou person off. If Tanjirou were the one to request a partner change or the one to stop writing back, Zenitsu couldn't be blamed for running away again. From his experience, the best way to do that was to just be himself. Yet at the same time, since Tanjirou divulged so much about himself, it only felt like common courtesy to disclose an equal amount back.

Dear Tanjirou,

Hi

I'm eight years old. My favourite colour is yellow.

I have never seen Sailor Moon. Why does your sister like it so much? I also think she is very pretty. It sounds like her mouth is a little bit like my ears. I have weird ears. Writing letters is good because I can't use my ears on you. Maybe you can have Takeo watch Sailor Moon with you and Nezuko-chan next time. Don't worry if he's mean to me. I want you and him to get along.

That's a nice dream. If I had a dream, it would be to get married one day. That's what Miss Sakura keeps saying I should do if I want a big family. I want a big family. You said I can join your family. Is that what you're asking, Tanjirou? Everyone else is really mean when I ask them to marry me. I... like to play the piano. I want to keep playing the piano forever.

We bake raisin bread every Tuesday afternoon. It's gross. I feel like dying every time I eat it. What kind of raisin bread does your Okaa-san make? Your Otou-san should not stay inside eating raisin bread all day. No wonder he's sick. He should go out into the sunlight more.

Hanako-chan is very pretty too!

From Zenitsu

By the time he looked back at the clock, several hours had passed. Eraser shavings and marks littered the paper yet Zenitsu couldn't bring himself to fix it any further. He had done it. He'd written out a response to Tanjirou. He couldn't find anything wrong with it but surely, this was enough to cut off their connection forever. He was sure of it.

That why when Zenitsu was called aside by the counselor and slipped a second strawberry-scented package merely three days later, he nearly had a heart attack. It seemed the rest of his peers thought the same. No one else had gotten a return letter yet. It was contradictory to think that he'd be the first. Once again, Zenitsu found himself the center of contempt. He felt stares at the back of his neck up until he was curled back in his blankets, roommates asleep and sniffling into his pillow once more.

It wasn't even just a letter this time. It was an entire box. What kind of crazy person was his forever friend?! Maybe it was a bomb. That's it! It had to be a bomb. Tanjirou was so disgusted by Zenitsu's letter that he felt it obligatory to do the world a favour and kill him on the spot.

Zenitsu carefully unfolded it from beneath his covers, wary. Instead, his eyes widened at what he found inside. It was a cylinder about the size of his palm. Soft, sweet, and pretty to behold, he'd never seen anything like it. Was this the cake that Tanjirou was talking about? It was tiny enough to be finished in three bites but undoubtedly beautiful and decorated with strawberries.

He munched it down in almost one breath, tears welling up but for the opposite reason than the usual. It was delicious...! Oh god, if he could die and this was the last thing that he ate beforehand, he'd be happy! Each inche was filled with a care that Zenitsu didn't know anyone was capable of putting into a confectionary.

Zenitsu,

Your writing is so good! You r amazing! Okaa-san explen explained to me what being married meant. I like it! I did not know that my familie can get biggER. Zenitsu is teaching me a lot of new things. Let's get married! Oh. Otou-san said I shud not ask so soon. I want to listen to he bekus Otou-san is the best. I asked he how long I had to wait. He said after _335 letters. Let's get married after _335 letters! I will start counting now. This is letter number 3!

Zenitsu choked. He didn't know what it was on but it was some very dangerous combination of air and his own spit. It's not like he could've helped it. Tanjirou's words were so kind that he wanted to cry.

To sellebrat celebrate, I made a Strawberry cake with Okaa-san and Nezuko. We were sad when you said you only tryed raisin bread. I hope that you like it! We can make more after we marry. I can also make blueberry, banananananana, and chocolate. You can show me how you play the piano too. I have friends who play the piano and it sounds so pretty. I bet you sond sound pretty too.

I have a weird nose. No one else agrees that Nezuko is pretty. But Zenitsu knows! Is it bekus we both have weird body parts? Maybe. But I think Zenitsu is very nice so dat must be why. Takeo said something mean again but he thinks you are nice too. He wached Sailor Moon with us yesterday. His faverit favourite scout is Mercury. I can tell by the way he smells.

Love (LOVE 3) Tanjirou

The only appropriate response Zenitsu could think of was to bury his head in his pillow and scream.

Of course, he ended up waking the entire room with him, but what did it matter? Someone wanted to talk to him. Someone like Tanjirou, a normal kid who had a loving family, who wasn't abandoned, wanted to talk to him. Zenitsu always looked towards the outside as if it was some world out of his reach—a world filled with parents who held their children every night and woke them up for school in the morning. He didn't know what it meant to cross to the other side. He was stuck here, stuck with the other children who probably did horrible things to make their parents not love them. Zenitsu wondered what he did to make his parents abandon him. It must've been really bad. He could only hope that Tanjirou wouldn't soon as well.

T-T-T-T-T

His fears were unfounded. The next four years passed with the two exchanging letters in a similar fashion. Zenitsu's life went from weekly porridge (ew) and having his face shoved down a toilet—those boys were really trying to kill him- and being ganged up on during sports days to vibrant tales about customers at a bakery, about a large family that soon grew larger with Shigeru's birth, about a vibrant boy named Tanjirou Kamado who became his forever friend.

Nearly every day after sending off his own letter, Zenitsu found himself pacing in front of the counselor office in hopes that there was a new post addressed to him in the basket. Today was one of those days. It was lunch. With everyone else in the mess hall, it left him some quiet time to quiet freak the heck out. Zenitsu let out a squeal when he found the familiar sweet-scented letter sitting atop the pile with his name on it. So engrossed with rushing back to his shared room to open it, he didn't notice when a leg stuck out from behind the hallway until he found himself face first on the floor.

He sprung up, clutching his bleeding nose. "K-Kaigaku...?!"

Sure enough, the older boy was leaning on the corridor, sneering down at him. "For fuck's sake, be quiet! Your gross giggling is ruining everyone's appetite."

Like always, Zenitsu opted to avoid eye contact. "Y-Yes..."

Somehow the response only seemed to infuriate the other further. Zenitsu let out a pathetic squeak when Kaigaku lifted him up by the collar. Black eyes seared into his own golden ones like a scorpion. "Listen here, brat. Just because you can play the piano and are a little bit better than the rest of us at writing and vocabulary, enough to fool that little boycrush of yours, that doesn't mean jack shit, all right? You're still a worthless good-for-nothing. Sakamoto abandoned you when she realized. He'll leave you too when he finds out."

That, that stung something painful in Zenitsu's chest. He nodded shakily. But feeling those familiar babyish tears forming behind his eyelids once again, Zenitsu felt gross. He was gross. He had to be if everyone kept saying it. He hated this part of himself that couldn't stop crying. Knowing what was coming next, Kaigaku dropped him there and walked away before he had to deal with his wailing. Everyone who witnessed the scene eyed him warily but to their surprise, Zenitsu didn't do much as let out a peep. He gathered his letter from where it lay, footprint dirtying its cover from where Kaigaku had stepped on it. Quick as lightning, he bolted out of the scene before anyone could tattle to the caretakers.

It wasn't until an hour later, sitting under the autumn leaves in the garden, that Zenitsu felt calmed enough to open Tanjirou's letter. Or... he was about as calm as he normally was. He tried, okay?! But something felt eerily off. Maybe Tanjirou had been spoiling Zenitsu too much the past four dozen months by sending him little trinkets and long-winded paragraphs but this time, there was nothing but a single small scrap piece of paper awaiting him. Before his doubts could flood his mind, he ripped it open to view its contents with sweat gathering in his brow.

Zenitsu,

Call me?

From Tanjirou

Sure enough, enclosed in the letter was a phone number.

Zenitsu always had good ears. Just from being in the vicinity of someone, he could tell by the beat of their heart and the rush of their blood whether they were lying and how they were feeling. Frequently if the boy listened long and hard enough, he could even read their thoughts if given enough context (what the hell...? Creepy...). It was what drove a lot of people away. But at this moment, staring at the two words on the paper, that part of him that could hear the desperation in Tanjirou's words had him dashing for the nearest phone before he could even fully process what he was doing.

So quick in his rush, he bumps face first into the back of a stout old man. It takes exactly half a second for him to receive a firm but gentle whack on the head. "Watch where you're going, boy...!"

"I-I'm sorry...!" If it wasn't for the scar marring the old man's face, Zenitsu wouldn't have given him a second glance. He lets out a squeak, rushing past him his haste to escape so much so that he doesn't notice the interested stare glued to the back of his head.

Gone were his insecurities about switching from speaking on paper to speaking on the phone. Sure once Tanjirou heard his nasally voice and had to deal with his unlikable personality in real time, it could shift their entire dynamic. He never risked it. What they had already was enough. That's why he never asked in the three yeasr that they've been exchanging (way too) amiable words.

But this time...? He didn't have time for that, not when there was uncertainty pounding in his heart. Hence when the phone rang twice, for once, that tiny voice in his head didn't beg the other to simply not pick up. After he heard the quiet 'hello' on the other side, Zenitsu let out a sigh of relief.

"How can I help you?" What a polite eleven-year old. His voice was still high from youth but there was a soothing tone of maturity behind it that tickled Zenitsu's ears like a cloud. How could someone sound so kind from just five words?

Zenitsu gulped. Maybe this was a horrible, horrible idea...! "Tanjirou...?"

There was a gasp. How the other boy recognized him so easily, Zenitsu would never know. "Zenitsu...? Y-You called...! You really called."

"O-Of course I did!" Uh oh, that part of Zenitsu that came out when he felt frustration was taking control again. However, he couldn't help it. With worry clouding his judgement, he couldn't hold back no matter how hard he tried to pretend to be someone else. "What did you expect me to do after you left such a cryptic message? You're unbelievable. But more importantly, are you okay?"

Feeling whiplash from the drastic changes of emotion in Zenitsu's voice, Tanjirou sounded winded when he finally replied. "I'm... fine. I'm more than fine! I just wrote that without thinking. Sorry for worrying you..."

Zenitsu rolled his eyes. What a stubborn guy...! "Yeah, I'm sure you're fine. That's why you sound like you're on the cusp of breaking down. Don't deny it!" He snaps when he hears the smallest intake of breath meaning that the other was about to object. "That's why you resorted to using a letter to confide in me... me! It was from how fine you're feeling."

"I-" Here, Zenitsu was about to give him an even bigger piece of his mind when Tanjirou suddenly let out a puff of laughter.

Was Tanjirou laughing at him? Some deep-rooted and nasty part of him resorted to that thinking. But, no. Tanjirou wasn't that kind of person. There was no way he'd waste four years on him for something as silly as a prank. Still, Zenitsu couldn't help but cringe, flinching the slightest bit away. "What's so funny?"

As if a switch was flipped, Tanjirou cut off his giggles. He gasped once more. "Oh, no! I wasn't laughing at you, Zenitsu. I'm so sorry. I'm just... I'm really happy to finally talk to you."

Just like that, Zenitsu's feelings did a one-eighty. Feeling his cheeks flush, he was this close to slapping himself for being so happy and clingy from something as simple as someone being happy to talk to him. Ugh, he hated that he was like this. Most kids weren't like this. Tanjirou deserved better. Instead of responding, he changes the topic. "Tanjirou, what happened?"

Of course when it came to teasing Zenitsu or laughing at him in their letters and now on the phone, Tanjirou had breaths of garbled words to spare. However, and Zenitsu was discovering this side of him at a rapid and frustrating pace, getting the other to actually talk about what was bothering him was like pulling teeth. "It's nothing."

"It's not nothing."

"...I don't want to trouble you, Zenitsu."

"You're not."

"No, really." There was a clinking sound. It took him a moment to realize that it was from the younger boy shaking his head. Was he wearing some kind of jewelry? "I think it's best that we forget this happened. I shouldn't have written such a weird letter to you. I'm the eldest son. I can handle it. I wasn't being a very good friend."

"Tanjirou," Zenitsu sighed. If he was ever so sure of one thing before in his life, it would be that he's never met anyone as selfless as Tanjirou. "That's just it. We're friends. We've talked about this before. You're not the eldest brother around me, you're just Tanjirou."

There was another long silence. If it wasn't for Zenitsu's sharp hearing that could pick up the quiet hum of the heater in the background, he would've been absolutely and utterly convinced that Tanjirou had hung up on him. Finally and achingly, a ruffle of clothes cut through the quiet. He recognized it as the boy getting out of a mess of blankets.

"Otou-san is in the hospital. His disease worsened. It turns out it was hereditary. Nezuko is there too."

Zenitsu's ears buzzed. A deep pang sounded in his heart. He couldn't relate. He wasn't as kind as Tanjirou, couldn't say with absolute truth that he understood how he felt. He's never had an important person before. Hence, he's never had to deal with possibly losing that important person before. Yet, despite that, his chest burned. "I'm sorry."

"...It's not your fault."

There was an awkward silence. It tapered off in a way that Zenitsu likened to when someone was distancing themselves from him. So, he panicked a little. He couldn't let the call end here. "I-Is there anything else they told you? That can't be it."

"And what if it is?!" He jumped a little, shocked at the volume of which Tanjirou's voice came in through the speaker. "What if that's just it, Zenitsu?! I can't do anything to help them. What if they're just gone?!"

Tanjirou did the unthinkable then, he cried. Zenitsu was left speechless, listening to his friend sob into the phone until it slipped from his fingers. The anguish in his choked breaths was too much for Zenitsu to bear yet he never hung up. He kept the speaker pressed firmly to his ear all the way until Tanjirou composed himself enough to shakily lift the device back into his lap. When he spoke, his voice was raspy. "Hello...?"

Tears, those were tears in Zenitsu's eyes. There he was being a cry baby again, close to hysterics himself as some part deep within himself cried for his friend too. Other children weren't like this. He hated this side of himself. "Tanjirou..."

Hearing the wetness behind Zenitsu's voice seemed to be the trigger to bring Tanjirou back down. He backtracked. "I'm really sorry about that. I don't know what came over me. I yelled at you too-"

"Tanjirou, it's okay. I'm...I don't know why but I'm glad you did."

"No, it was really selfish of me. Otou-san and Nezuko are the ones suffering, but I'm here making a mess of everything with you."

"Tanjirou," he repeated his name for the third time, firmly enough to have the other shutting up. "I already said I'm glad that you did. You're allowed to be sad."

"I..." He gulped. "Thank you, Zenitsu. You really are a great person."

"A-...A great person...?!" His voice managed out an entire octave higher than normal. Cheeks red, Zenitsu felt the ecstasy of being complimented for the first time in his life. His face was a mess then. Tears still ran down his face even as the giddiness lifted his spirits. "Y-You don't mean that...! Did you think that would make me happy, you moron? Huehue..."

Tanjirou chuckled into the phone, the sound as clear as a blue sky despite the static of their connection. It only made Zenitsu's giggles worsen in volume until they were both left laughing like idiots into the speaker. It was embarrassing. It was too much for Zenitsu's poor heart. Yet it remained one of his most prized memories. When the duo finally simmered down enough to form coherent sentences, Zenitsu pinpointed the sounds of Tanjirou getting up from his bed and opening a door.

"Where are you going?"

"Ah...sorry. I just realized I haven't eaten since yesterday."

"Yesterday...?!" The exclamation has a few passing kids turning to stare at Zenitsu. He ignores them. "What the heck?! Tanjirou-!"

"I-I know! I'm sorry." There's the noise of a fridge opening. Tanjirou rummages for a moment before producing an apple from a shelf just big enough to fit in the palm of his hand. Almost effortlessly and with the phone wedged against his shoulder, he slices it into bite-sized pieces. "I just wasn't hungry until now. It didn't feel right for me to prepare any food if it wasn't for Otou-san or Nezuko anymore."

Zenitsu recognized the tone in Tanjirou's voice. It was the same one that he heard countless times from the new children who were shipped off to their orphanage. They all started in denial, hopeful that they'd awaken the next day and what happened was all a dream. It sometimes took days or even weeks before reality sunk in. Then acceptance followed, the acceptance that they were alone in this world—

"You're not alone, idiot."

"I know-"

"No, you don't! There are so many people still waiting for you. Did you want your father or Nezuko-chan to come back to a half-dead Tanjirou? A half-dead Tanjirou is no good. He can't protect his family properly so he needs to take care of himself!"

Tanjirou let out a breathless laugh. Setting aside the knife, his next words are spoken with an awe laced in fondness and some other emotion that Zenitsu couldn't fully read. "Do you want me to protect you too? I'd like that."

"Stop changing the topic...!"

When the other boy gives some form of long-suffering sigh, Zenitsu feels himself boil. Hey, he's the one who's exasperated here! Before he has a chance to say anything though, Tanjirou interrupts him with a particularly loud bite of the apple.

"Ew, hey...! Don't do that next to my ear." Despite protests, Zenitsu is laughing.

"Sowwie, Zephitsu-" Tanjirou makes a point of chewing louder and speaking with his mouth full. "I can't hear wou past phe sound of ywour density."

"W-What's that supposed to mean? Since when did your vocabulary and grammar get so advanced anyway? I miss the old Tanjirou who couldn't spell half the things he said!"

Tanjirou finally swallows. This time, his eldest brother instincts win out and he opts to eat more polity. He neatly piles the rest of the slices on the plate so to make room and wash the knife. "You've taught me too well."

"Clearly..." Despite the eternal salt he felt, Zenitsu was proud of Tanjirou. For some reason, he seemed to pick things up from Zenitsu so much quicker than he did from anyone else. Throughout their letters, the other's sentences became more comprehensible. His words lengthened. Soon, Tanjirou was writing paragraphs about his day without his mother's help and it came to him as naturally as speaking.

"There's a heart surgery." So caught up in his thoughts, Zenitsu nearly had whiplash from the sudden admission. By then, Tanjirou had eaten three more slices and was now seated on a couch away from the prying but relieved eyes of Kie Kamado. "It's expensive. We can't afford it."

A money problem, Zenitsu knew about those all too well. "H-How much...?"

"Okaa-san won't tell me the exact numbers. Even if none of us eat or bathe for an entire year, the profit from our bakery still wouldn't be enough. The most we can do is keep paying their life support." Zenitsu wracked his brain. He tried, but it sounded like a very adult problem that couldn't be solved by something as simple as selling lemonade on the sidewalk. "I... I want to help."

Of course you do, you're Tanjirou. Zenitsu feels that bit of fondness colour his soul warm. He had to think a bit harder. He would if it was for Tanjirou. Leafing through his memories, his brain finally landed on one statement that stood out in Tanjirou's very first letter. "Tanjirou, you said that you liked to sing, didn't you?"

"I do." He could picture the other boy tilting his head, he was that transparent. "Why?"

"I've done these before. Sometimes the orphanage takes me out to the streets to perform on the violin or piano in order to get donations. When people hear about what the money is being used for and see how my talent is being nurtured, they tend to donate more." Zenitsu never had the glory of seeing just how much was collected in that locked black box but he knew it was enough to put food on the table every day. "You could do that."

"Oh." Tanjirou didn't sound as delighted as Zenitsu felt. Be happy, dammit...! Zenitsu spent a lot of energy thinking of this brilliant plan! He sounds sheepish when he speaks next. "I'm not a very good singer."

"Let's hear it! I think I can be the judge of that."

And oh, did Zenitsu never regret something so hard in his life. To be the judge of Tanjirou's singing would be the equivalent of becoming the guard of Satan's underworld dungeon where prisoners were tortured daily. He had no idea how a person with such a loving voice that reminded him of wind chimes on the summer breeze could come out so hellish as soon as it veered out of the realm of talking. It was honestly such a waste!

"Is it that bad?"

Zenitsu made a pathetic squeak. Oh shoot. Did he say all of that out loud? He made to recover, feeling his ears bleed and grabbing his soul before it descended. "Y-Yes, BUT...! Like I said, your actual voice is really charming and so is your personality! If we work on it and get your singing to a decent level, you'd be great."

At hearing this, Tanjirou choked on his apple.

"T-Tanjirou...? Hey, don't die on me here!"

"I-I didn't do it on purpose." Tanjirou's sounded flustered for whatever reason. "Do you really think that I'm charming?"

"Wha...? That's what you focus on?! I can't believe you."

"Thank you, Zenitsu! I also think you're really charming. I'm grateful that you called me today too. I promise that I won't waste this opportunity with you!"

Zenitsu knew that Tanjirou was just talking about singing. What else could he be talking about? Yet the sudden quickening of the brunet's heartbeat coloured his cheeks bright red. He really needed to stop misinterpreting Tanjirou's feelings like this. Sure, they had promised to marry four years ago but they were young and stupid. Now teetering into becoming teenagers, Zenitsu knew better than to hope for anything more than this from someone as amazing and beautiful as Kamado Tanjirou.

T-T-T-T-T

It becomes a daily routine for them. Every night, without fail, Zenitsu would be called to the office to pick up a phone call from Tanjirou. He'd migrate to the yard where there were less people in order to provide nutrients to the minute (read: tiny) increments of improvement Tanjirou's accursed singing took. The craziest thing was that despite the two of them speaking every day, Tanjirou still took the time to send him letters at the same pace as they always did. Even though it would've been so much easier to say it on the phone, Zenitsu appreciated having his words on legible paper so to stow away and read whenever he was feeling lonely.

It wasn't even two weeks after their new system that Zenitsu received yet another package from Tanjirou. The envelope was much thicker than usual indicating that there was an item inside. After consuming his meal of fruit and rice, Zenitsu hurried to rip the paper apart. He shot the strange item inside a wary glance.

It was a stick of metal with a green and black checkered pattern. He'd seen some of the caretakers lugging one around from time to time in order to store videos for movie nights or lessons. Not knowing if this was some kind of mistake, he turns his attention to the note next.

Zenitsu,

I really want to thank you for the other day. I was originally only going to include myself but then Okaa-san, Takeo, Hanako, and Shigeru insisted that they wanted to meet you too. I hope that you like it. I want you to feel like you're as much a part of my family as I feel like you are. My wish is that you'll see this as me sharing my family with you and that one day we can save up enough money so Okaa-san can adopt you for real. Even though we're in a tough spot right now, we'll never forget you.

The USB is a gift that I got for you from the local store. If you send it back in your next letter, I can keep filming these for you until it's full. It was a lot of fun!

Love, Tanjirou 3

Right, it was a USB. However, he would need a computer in order to watch it. The only people he knew who had computers were Kaigaku and Miss Sakura. Zenitsu padded out of his room, making the decision instantly when he saw the light across the hall turned on. He knocked twice before the familiar figure of one of the now oldest boys at the orphanage leered down at him.

"What do you want, scum?"

"C-Could I use your laptop?"

"Ha...! And let your butter fingers drop it? You'd probably cry at the sight of a pop-up and short-circuit all my keys."

"Please...?" Zenitsu always became a lot more desperate when it came to Tanjirou. He wanted to see what his friend had given him. If that meant begging to his senior, he would do it. "It's only for a minute. You can even monitor me to make sure that doesn't happen."

The blue-haired boy sighed. Reluctantly, he pushed aside his door to let the shorter brunet in. "Whatever. Make it quick."

Zenitsu hurried to the device and the chair propped up in front of it. Meanwhile, Kaigaku loomed behind him with a bored look but one that burned like fire. Some part of Zenitsu didn't want Kaigaku to see whatever Tanjirou had given him. It was supposed to be their little secret. However, between him and Miss Sakura, this was the lesser of two evils. Plugging the USB into the slot that he'd always see the caretakers use, he flinches a little when a window pops up containing nothing but a video titled 'for zenitsu.' He clicks on it.

It's like he's brought into another realm. Zenitsu feels his breath shorten when one single ruby red eye gleams into the camera. Then, shakily, it's brought further back to reveal the gentlest face that Zenitsu has ever seen. This boy's smile is bright, not affected by the scar looming on his forehead. The hanafuda earrings dangle cutely to the side when he greets the camera. It's only when the person says his name that Zenitsu realizes with jolting clarity that this was Tanjirou.

"Hello, Zenitsu...! It's me." This was so unfair. Why was Tanjirou pretty? This would've been a lot easier if Tanjirou was ugly. At least then Zenitsu had a chance with him. Said boy felt himself freeze in place, staring at eyes that glowed red like the embers of the warmest fire. He was like a moth attracted to it, unable to keep his sights off of those eyes filled with unending kindness. "Forgive me for the short notice and surprise. I know you don't like those! I wanted to do something special for you as a thank you! Not just that, I had to show you..." Tanjirou coughs, and Zenitsu has to imagine the way his cheeks redden, "how much I really care about you."

Was Zenitsu dying? Maybe he died. Maybe he's gone already and this was heaven. The checkered-patterned scarf on the boy's neck clashed horribly with his naturally red locks yet somehow matched him perfectly at the same time. "It's really cold right now. Okaa-san said that I can only stay outside for a few minutes so I have to make it quick. This is our bakery!"

The camera turns. Zenitsu is treated to the sight of a quaint little bakery at the side of the street. It looked homey, with warm windows and countless footsteps in the snow to indicate just how many patrons were loyal to the Kamado establishment. Zenitsu thinks his heart melts a little bit when a few customers sitting outside with their bread wave at Tanjirou like he's the town sweetheart. He probably is.

Next, the fogging screen is wiped with a green and black scarf before being brought into the store. The first person it focuses on is a woman behind the counter with a rag on her head. She smiles gently when Tanjirou greets her. "This is Okaa-san. She's the best mom in the world."

The woman giggles between stacking muffins on the display. "It's wonderful to finally meet the famed Zenitsu-kun. Please visit us whenever you can."

Takeo isn't as kind to the camera. As Zenitsu prided himself on being a professional panicker, the flush on his face and awkwardness in his stance has him relating more than he thought he would due to mini-Tanijrou's brash behaviour and snappy words. It's a little jarring when just before leaving the focus of the camera, he blathers something about Zenitsu needing to teach him guitar instead of wasting his time with his nii-chan. Hanako and Shigeru are too young to completely understand. However, Zenitsu finds himself snorting when Shigeru accidentally spills juice on Hanako's hair and the small girl cries about looking like an idiot in front of Tanjirou's special someone (?).

When the video is near its end, the lens is focused on what appears to be a mess of blankets and toys on a carpeted floor. It took Tanjirou getting himself comfortable on the bottom bunk bed for Zenitsu to realize that this is where he slept. Despite being the oldest, his friend had the smallest corner. Anyone else would complain. Anyone else would be bothered. Instead, Tanjirou brags about the puzzle that Shigeru completed the other day. Zenitsu feels his heart ache at the sight. Why was Tanjirou so warm?

"That's it for the house tour. I would've loved for you to meet Nezuko and Otou-san too, Zenitsu. Unfortunately, we aren't heading over there until Saturday. I'll be sure to film another video then! Sorry."

"It's fine, Tanjirou." Zenitsu finds himself whispering to the screen, too engrossed with the fantasy of having a family. His honey eyes swim in tears once more. His heart fills with a longing that stung harder than anything he's ever felt before. "Stop apologizing."

"I'd love to meet you one day, Zenitsu." Tanjirou faces the camera again, just enough so Zenitsu can get a full view of those eyes that shone like rubies. The boy smiles, gentle in a way that no one has ever directed at him. The only thing ruining the perfect picture is when the hanafuda-earring boy's cheeks suddenly bloom red once more at his next statement. No, cross that, Tanjirou was even more perfect with it. "I hope when that day comes that you'll accept me! Th-Thank you!"

The video cuts to black then. Zenitsu isn't sure how long he's left staring at the screen and gaping like a fish. So caught up with what just happened, he forgets that he isn't alone. He forgets until he feels the painful slamming of his head against the floor.

Disoriented, it takes him a second to realize that Kaigaku had shoved him off of the chair. He chucks the USB at his junior, the target of his hatred barely managing to catch the small piece of metal in time. Zenitsu gulps. The older kid looks about half ready to murder someone.

"Get the fuck out."

He complies. Zenitsu scrambles out of there so quickly that he's sure he should've fallen over five times and died already. Normally the encounter would be enough to have him lock himself in his room for the rest of the night. However, this wasn't one of those times. Instead it felt like an insignificant event compared to what just happened to him. Tanjirou... Tanjirou, that moron, had really gone and done that! How was Zenitsu supposed to compete?

He had no camera to send a video back. Either way, with his choppy black locks, bushy eyebrows, and dirty face, he'd rather die than sully such a beautiful family with his horrid appearance. The next best thing would be to invest even more time into their singing lessons. It wasn't the main focus of Zenitsu's music course but he'd throw that out the window and study hours if it meant that he could bring that bit of sunshine back into Tanjirou's life.

Two months later is when Zenitsu finally gives his friend the seal of approval. His voice is still nowhere near where Zenitsu wanted it to be but he'd be damned if anyone dared challenge the fact that Tanjirou's singing had improved immensely. It was tolerable to listen to now, with the off-beat screaming toned down to a soothing melody and sounding more like the way Zenitsu imagined his heart to be.

Tanjirou himself is nervous. He's at a nearby subway station, phone still cradled by his ear and a very reluctant Takeo by his side experimenting different chords on his electric guitar.

"I can't do this."

"Come on, Tanjirou. It's my job to be the pessimistic one here."

"No, really..." Hanafuda earrings jingle as the boy notices the sheer amount of people at rush hour barely sparing the two a glance. "I'm sorry, Zenitsu. I know that you worked really hard to help me—to help Nezuko and Otou-san. I just can't sing as well as you can."

"Ugh, fine." Zenitsu lets out an exasperated sigh. "I'll tell you something but you have to promise not to make fun of me for it!"

"Zenitsu...?"

"Just promise!"

"O-Okay...I promise! I promise!"

"I used to get nervous performing all the time too. Your natural instinct tells you to avoid looking at the audience but that isn't right at all! The key is eye contact. Stare them down. Picture them as live pieces of sweet dango." Just the thought of the small treat that Kie had cooked then delivered to him that one time had Zenitsu's mouth watering. "Delicious, heavenly to the taste buds, and just warm enough to push all your worries away~"

Silence is what answers him.

"O-Oi, don't... don't give me that look!"

"Wh-What look do you mean...?" The question comes out congested, like Tanjirou was trying to hold back his laughter. "I'm not giving any kind of look, I promised!"

Takeo pipes in. "You're just hungry, you fool."

Zenitsu squeaks, not realizing he was on speaker the entire time until the other boy chips in his two cents. He whines. "Tanjirou...! Why is Takeo-kun so mean to me? Make him stop."

"I don't know if the dango imagery will work for me." Tanjirou hums, much to Zenitsu's responding shriek at being ignored. However, the next words that are out of his mouth has the older boy frozen still. "How about I picture singing to you instead?"

Zenitsu blinks. For a second there, he thought Tanjirou was flirting with him. "Yeah, that makes sense. You sing in front of me all the time so I've already heard the worst of it. Good idea, Tanjirou!"

Takeo whistles. "Wow."

Tanjirou halts his glaring at a billboard to send Takeo a pitiful stare. The only response he gets back from his brother is a sympathetic pat on his shoulder as he goes to plug his guitar into the nearest outlet. At least, that's what Tanjirou thinks until Takeo suddenly rounds on him. Before the red head can react, the smaller boy snatches the phone from his hands.

Unlike his brother, Takeo wasn't a complete dunce head. He knew Tanjirou would do well no matter what. It was for Nezuko and their father after all. That didn't mean the older boy didn't need that extra push once in a while. Zenitsu was quickly becoming a source of them. So with all the confidence in the world, Takeo covers the microphone in order to eye his brother. "You know...

I bet Zenitsu is really attracted to guys who can sing well."

The statement is said so innocently, as if Takeo was talking about the weather or suggesting reasons for why the sky was blue. He can already see the gears turning in his brother's head. A crowd is beginning to gather around them, curious at the sight. When he relinquishes the phone back to Tanjirou, it's to the sound of Zenitsu's worried calls.

"H-hello...? Why did it go so silent all of a sudden?! All I could hear was Takeo-kun's heartbeat. Is everything all right?"

Eyes filled with determination, Tanjirou speaks way louder than was necessary into the phone. "Yes! Everything is fine! Please listen closely to our performance, Zenitsu!"

"O-Okay...?" Zenitsu felt like he should be worried.

Luckily, his worries were unfounded. As soon as Takeo began tapping his foot to indicate the countdown, it was like his electric guitar entered a different realm. It pierced through the noise of the crowd, the familiar tune had everyone turning heads almost immediately. Then, right on cue, Tanjirou's voice rings out catching the remaining crowd's attention.

I'm crying under the moonlight.

I can't even call you. It's already midnight.

What should I do with all of these feelings?

My heart is a kaleidoscope.

The crowd cheers the two brothers on as the tune of the opening for Sailor Moon pierces through the mundane cityscape.

Zenitsu felt like crying in embarrassment. He wants to die. He wasn't even the one on stage but he still wants to die! Tanjirou was such a big forehead idiot for choosing this song. He should've stopped him. Every fiber of Zenitsu's being begged him to stop Tanjirou. He didn't. He knew that it was Nezuko-chan's favourite cartoon. Some part of him was strangely filled with pride. And...was it just him or did Tanjirou actually sound really good?

It wasn't just him. From the other end of the phone, Zenitsu could immediately pick up the excited heartbeats of the crowd intermingled with clanks of money being deposited into Takeo's open guitar case. Upon sight of the poster behind them littered with photos of their father and sister in the hospital, the cash inflow seemed to double.

By the time the song was over, Tanjirou was out of breath but not from singing. He looked towards the crowd, all cheering for him and Takeo and happy in a way that brought joy to the eldest brother's heart. Neither of them had ever done something like this before. Both content with simply taking over the family business, it was by chance that they happened upon this new found passion. When Tanjirou looked towards Takeo with a wide grin, he was thrilled to see the same expression—albeit a tad snarkier—aimed back at him.

Zenitsu was still on call when the duo brought the money home to tally up their profits. It wasn't much to make a dent in the bills but it was way more than anyone their age could've ever hoped to earn. When Kie suddenly burst into tears and engulfed her two eldest sons in a hug was when Zenitsu found it the appropriate time to hang up the phone and give the family some privacy.

He leaned back in his spot beneath a tree in the yard. Discarding the orphanage's home phone beside him, he sighed in content. The breeze tickled his bangs. For the first time in a while, he felt completely at peace. There were no doubts, no anxious thoughts clouding his brain.

"He'll abandon you too."

Zenitsu jolted. He swiveled back to see Kaigaku glaring at him from where he was completing homework on an adjacent bench. No—when he looked closer, he recognized those papers as the forms and brochures advertising the senior orphanage on the other side of town. It was where the children, the ones who failed to be adopted when they were considered in the age range most likely to appeal to seeking parents, would go to finish their education.

The navy-haired boy had been quieter the past few weeks. Now that Zenitsu thought about it, this was the first time that he'd talked to him in a while. He let out a breath. As much as the familiar tears wanted to escape, he was beginning to tire of his bully's behaviour. "Tanjirou would never do that. You can talk bad about me all you want, Kaigaku but leave him out of this."

"What do you think will happen once he doesn't need you anymore?" Unperturbed, Kaigaku crumpled up the papers into a ball. "All those rotten dickheads from the outside world are like this. It's always about who has the highest grades or who can jump the highest or who has the brightest future over there. Then when all else fails, it's who can trample on whom in order to get ahead... I know because I'm like that too."

"Stop," Zenitsu stands up from his spot, feeling that familiar anxiety colour his previously flighty mood black. "You don't know who Tanjirou is. Stop talking as if you know him!"

"I don't need to. That's just the way things work for kids in our position."

"I'm done." Zenitsu storms away, fire in his veins. Normally he would tolerate Kaigaku's antics, his fixation on people like Zenitsu in particular. More than half of the reason behind that was because Kaigaku was right most of the time. He was right when he called Zenitsu pathetic. He was right when he told him Sakamoto would soon tire of his talents. He was right when he said that no matter how much Zenitsu excelled at music, he wouldn't be adopted.

But, just this once, Zenitsu wanted to believe that Kaigaku was wrong. He wanted to believe in Tanjirou.

One Sunday afternoon is when it happens. A small group of children, Zenitsu now amongst the oldest, are gathered in the dining area while the news plays in the background. It's only been a few days since the debut performance at the subway station. Tanjirou has yet to call him like he normally does every night for their singing lessons. He's also yet to receive another letter. Zenitsu doesn't pin it against him. After all, the family were still coming down from the high of reviving their hopes to save Nezuko and her father. He'll just be sure to yell at him a whole lot in their next letter or phone call.

His thought cuts off when in the middle of swallowing a bite of stale yogurt, a familiar tune pierces through his ears. He doesn't think he could forget this tune for as long as he lived anymore. It was all that dumb Tanjirou's fault. He's been humming it ever since the sunny boy first sang the theme to him in off-tune huffs.

Quick as lightning, Zenitsu's head shoots up. On the screen and to the backdrop of a news anchor was Tanjirou and Takeo. They were at the subway station. As much as Zenitsu tried to convince himself that hearing their performance through the phone was enough, actually seeing it with his own two eyes was a completely different concept. They were breathtaking. With Takeo's normally bored face morphing into ecstatic movements on the guitar with each drop in beat and Tanjirou's never wavering smile and pure eyes, it was like they cast a spell to anyone who dared listen or watch.

"Last Thursday at the Metropolitan station, two young boys gave the debut performance of their lives, singing a song that very many of you may be familiar with. A passing student took the following video on their phone and posted it online. Since then, the video has gained a record-breaking amount of views."

"Some say that they're even rivaling this month's top singles."

"Well, when you watch the video, it isn't that difficult to see why."

"If that wasn't enough to catch your attention, then knowing that the two boys' hearts were in the right place surely would. All proceeds they've earned are towards treating their ill father and sister taking up residence in the local hospital. Since word has got out, the hash tag Sailor Scouts has been trending and donations have been through the roof."

"Since then, the two have kick-started a new campaign. We'll have to wait and see what kind of future awaits them."

Zenitsu listens. He continues listening even long after the short news story is over and the channel has switched over to a pet rescue team. He's... happy! He truly is. This meant that Tanjirou and his family were well on their way to reach their goal and be together again.

But he's also selfish. He isn't nice like Tanjirou is. He's needy. He thinks about himself and what he can do rather than about others and what he can do for them. So when he catches Kaigaku's eye from another table, he feels a bit of his belief crumble.

He doesn't have long to dwell on it when the head caretaker interrupts the serene Sunday by calling Zenitsu and Kaigaku to the office.

Zenitsu does what he always does. He panics, but it's a nice distraction from whatever dark feeling was twirling in his gut beforehand. After all, Kaigaku and him have almost nothing in common aside from being the orphanage's two longest occupants, both failing to be adopted. Zenitsu wonders if they're both being kicked to the curb. However, what they find on the other side of the door is the exact opposite.

"Well there you are." Zenitsu gaps at the familiar face. The same old man that he bumped into so many weeks ago is standing before them with a childish grin. It's dwarfed by the imposing and stoic smile of the supervising aid associate. "Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Kuwajima Jigoro and I've had my eye on you two for a while."

T-T-T-T-T

Zenitsu felt like fainting. He was a bundle of nerves. One moment, he was on his way to the void of being shipped off without ever finding a home. The next moment, he was dressed in child service's signature suit and tie then pulled into a car so he and Kaigaku could venture to their first house visit.

The entire time, Kuwajima never stopped laughing boisterously about his tiny dojo. It sounded outlandish and like he was delusional. Did Zenitsu accidentally get picked up by someone who was secretly insane? Sure enough, his suspicions are proved false when the supervisor from the orphanage pulled up to a vintage building squashed between a noodle house and a hotel.

Being placed so close to a major intersection, the interior was loud but the wooden floors are beautifully worn. As promised, a row of wooden swords were mounted against the wall. Almost immediately, he can hear Kaigaku's piqued interest in the array. Zenitsu himself was never interested in fighting. However, when Kuwajima aims an almost fond grin his way, the brunet feels his insides turn to mush.

For a second, Zenitsu thought he saw Kie Kamado's proud smile aimed at her son.

They migrate to the two rooms on the second floor next. Zenitsu is ushered to the smaller one that was decidedly much brighter coloured than Kaigaku's dark blue room. He gasps when he spots the newly bought keyboard and violin adorning the corner.

"It's not much. There aren't any fancy brands or doo-dads attached to them." The old man admits. "But I figured it'd be a nice start for now. What do you think, Zenitsu?"

Zenitsu, being Zenitsu, cries.

Because for a moment, he didn't see his own room. He saw the messy array of Tanjirou's bed at the end of the video, squashed in the corner and surrounded by toys and other hints of his siblings all around him.

He's sure that the sobbing episode would convince Kuwajima to change his mind on the whole adoption. But alas, Zenitsu is proven wrong again. The old man that Zenitsu has already begun labelling 'gramps' simply laughs, talking about how he'll let him off easy this time. They don't stay for very long. The two boys return to the orphanage while each completing a private survey on whether they'd like to continue along with the adoption.

Normally the process would spread over six months. It'd start with the visits becoming more frequent and extending to entire weekends. They'd be introduced to the neighbourhood under supervision of the orphanage. Afterwards, discussion on probation would be brought up. However, Kaigaku's situation was special. His birthday was less than a month away and the manager had to hurry along the process. At the very least, they both had to have kick started their trial period before his contract ran out.

As always, that pit of anxiety in his stomach spreads to his finger tips. He's on his bed, his safe place, once again. His roommates have all either moved out or were still in class. He doesn't know if Gramps will resign last minute. For now, however, his mind is screaming yes. He's never felt this way before with Sakamoto or any of the other adults who showed waning interest in him. "But... what about Tanjirou?" His heart would supply next. The survey becomes an uphill battle for him. Other kids weren't pathetic like this. They probably would've been able to make the decision right away.

That's it! He needed a second opinion. He needed to talk to someone he trusted.

Hopping off his bunk bed, Zenitsu pads around the hallways towards the place where that oh so familiar phone lay waiting for him. Without even needing to think about it, his hand types in the number that he's memorized as fluently as the notes on his piano. Excited to deliver the news, Zenitsu waits while bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"Hello?"

"T-Tanjirou! I-"

"I can't come to the phone right now. Please leave a message after the beep. I'll get back to you as soon as possible!"

Zenitsu stared at the receiver. Mind not fully processing it, he's confused. He's never gone to Tanjirou's answering machine before, not even once. It must be some mistake! He tries again.

And again. And again.

"-leave a message after the beep. I'll get back to you as soon as possible!"

He sighed, placing it down and ignoring that pang of disappointment mixed with Kaigaku's words ringing in his head once more. He won't listen to that guy. He'll just call Tanjirou tomorrow when everything has calmed down. He still has a week to make his decision. That was plenty of time.

However, the days pass much the same with his attempts yielding no results. Inevitably, the brunet begins to doubt how much time he actually has left. By the sixth night, he's beginning to feel anxious in a way that he hasn't for a very long time. Tomorrow was his last chance. After that, their probation period would start as Kaigaku and him gradually moved their belongings to their new home. Or, if he rejected it, he'd continue his life here with the bland oatmeal for breakfast and the disgusted leers of his classmates.

The morning after finds him in his little corner by the counseling office once more, dialing in Tanjirou's number. There's a pen in his mouth, the survey papers beginning to crinkle in his tight grip. He was maybe going to get a new family soon. He wanted the input of his other family before moving on with the decision.

Before the person on the other end speaks even two breaths, Zenitsu hangs up to try again. By now, his ears can pick up the amplitude of Tanjirou's voice on the voice message and how it differed from the real thing. It allows him to call at a much faster rate. But by the fourth time that he's brought to the voice inbox again, he gives up.

What was going on? He hoped Tanjirou was okay. Hurrying to check the pile of mail, Zenitsu is dismayed to find that there was no weekly letter either. That was two letters in a row that the other missed. Just his rotten luck, he turns around and nearly bumps into the tall stature of Miss Sakura—

He lets out a scared shriek. Did the gods hate him or something?!

"Oh my, watch yourself, Zenitsu-kun." The woman still gave Zenitsu chills in a way that made him feel awful. He should stop running away from her. He should stop listening to the sound of her dark beat and reacting so horridly to the one who picked him up from the street. And yet- She eyes the phone in his left hand and the empty basket before putting two and two together. "Well, it's best not to beat yourself up over it. We all knew it was going to happen."

And. And. Zenitsu was furious. Why did no one believe in Tanjirou the way that he did? Just like with Kaigaku, Zenitsu felt a part of himself snap in a way that it hadn't before when the insults were simply hurled only at him. "No, you kept thinking it would happen."

Miss Sakura's smile twisted downward. "What was that?"

"This entire time, you've been the one who kept saying that I can't do it or that I wasn't good enough."

"I raised you-"

"—To become the mess that I am?! Thank you so very much!" Some dam deep inside of him broke, and it took everything he had to not cry. "I didn't even realize it until I met Tanjirou. When I have trouble with something, he encourages me! When I fail, he doesn't constantly remind me that it's all I'll ever amount to. I don't have to worry because he'd accept me no matter what! He smiles at me and listens to me. He reprimands me when I do something wrong but he doesn't abandon me. Ever since I met him, I've gotten better and better at playing in front of audiences. I've cried less. A-And I can stand up to people who speak badly of him!"

"So you're in love with him."

"I-..." Zenitsu felt the fire in his gut freeze. His heart beat quickens. How long had she known? "Excuse me...?"

"You can think how you want about the way I raise all the children." Miss Sakura busies herself by rearranging the pot of flowers. There was that hateful tone in her sound again, except this time it increased tenfold like a crawling scorpion. There was something there. There was something there in her feelings that Zenitsu couldn't hope to comprehend at his age. "You can believe in how much you've grown or how much it isn't dependent on him. But at the end of the day, you fell for him. A poor orphan boy fell for him and he left you behind."

"Wh-What are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying that nothing has changed." He's too good for you. Those words are left unvoiced. "You still are that dirty brat whose only hope is to find someone desperate enough to marry you one day."

"Oh? Is that so?"

Miss Sakura whips her head around and down just in time to meet the steely gaze of Kuwajima Jigoro. Zenitsu gaps. So distracted by his veins roaring loudly, he hadn't heard the sound of the walking fireplace sneaking up on them.

"With all due respect, I'd beg to differ. This boy has a lot of potential and I've decided to invest in that future. Do you have any objections?"

Her eyebrow twitches. She's displeased but not enough to not know her place. She bows. "Of course not, Kuwajima-san..." Gathering her basket of laundry, whatever small bit of kindness she has left in her has her swiftly withdrawing back to the hallway and leaving the two alone.

"Geez, what a spoil-sport. Back in my day, the youngling's weren't so disrespectful towards the children and elderly." The old man makes a point of tapping his walking stick on the tile as if to emphasize his age. He turns to the child but Zenitsu isn't looking at him.

Instead, honey eyes were aimed at his own dirty yellow shoes. His vision is glassy. It's only when Kuwajima coughs that those irises clear and Zenitsu even remembers that he isn't alone.

"Well, I heard more of that than I meant to." His tone is a tad sheepish but it doesn't last long when his sound is suddenly coloured in a giddy kind of happiness. Wrinkled cheeks flushed, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that he's excited at his next sentence. "If you want anyone to talk to, your master is here to listen!"

Silence; Zenitsu sniffles.

"L-Listen up, boy! I'm not good at this, okay? I've always wanted grandchildren to train up as the next best kendo prodigies but heavens know by the time I realized, I was out of my youth and it was too late." He grumbles out at a volume that would've been too low to hear for anyone else but Zenitsu. Kuwajima clears his throat. The next line is spoken much louder. "She's a coot if I ever did see one. A clear nut job...! I don't know who this boy you're so enamoured with is but it sounds like he means a lot to you. He means enough for you to finally stand up for yourself. I think that makes everything that happened worth it despite the outcome."

Kuwajima was a spry old man but weak at heart. He prided himself on being prepared for anything that life threw his way. However, what he didn't expect was for the small 12 year old sobbing mess to suddenly fling himself at him. "Gramps...!"

"Wh- DON'T CALL ME GRAMPS!"

T-T-T-T-T

As soon as he finishes unpacking his belongings, Zenitsu is sure he'd collapse from some kind of unknown disease caused by exhaustion. It wasn't like he owned much. However, the weight on his chest made the tiny drawstring bag filled with years' worth of letters feel like lead. They settle into their rooms shortly after the child care services worker sets up the date for their check-ins. Although the two of them are given a night of rest, it isn't even seven o'clock in the morning when they're woken up by a harsh knock.

"Up and at 'em, boys! We have a long day of training ahead of us."

"T-Training...?!" No one told Zenitsu about this!

"Hey, no griping allowed...! You two are just going to warm up a bit before taking your first crack with the sword. I need to assess where your innate abilities are before moving on to creating a proper schedule. Once you get the hang of it, we can increase the swings to a thousand and add more muscle regime such as running laps around the neighborhood! Seeing as you'll both have to start school soon as well, don't expect me to let you dawdle around this late in the morning next time."

Zenitsu felt like dying. He's been here for a day and he's already sure he's dying. "G-Gramps...!"

"Don't call me gramps!" Is the only explanation he's given when a pile of clothes is suddenly chucked his way. It muffled Zenitsu's outcries, smacking straight into his face. Zenitsu blinks down at them. They're new and a pristine white. The hakama and kendogi are just the right fit for him while the tenugui looked to be half a size too big if not for the elastic. But, and then the thought hits him as a brief 'oh.' They're the first pair of clothes he's ever truly owned.

"Wipe those tears away, Zenitsu! Crying is fine but you can't keep reacting that way to every little thing! I think that should be your first lesson."

Zenitsu doesn't complain anymore after that. Whine, yes, but not complain. He puts the mask on and gets a feel for the wooden sword before joining an eerily silent Kaigaku on the mat. He learns a multitude of stretches, even when they crack his muscles and make him want to cry. By the time they've begun their thirtieth set of swings, Zenitsu is a sweating and sobbing mess.

"Oh, shut up already!" Kaigaku throws something at him. It misses. Zenitsu pales in mounting horror when he realizes it was the sword. The loud cracking sound it makes as it collides with the floor and wall behind him cuts through the silence. "Why are you always like this...?!"

"Kaigaku." The blue-haired boy scoffs in response. Kuwajima doesn't let up. "I think we should have a talk."

"Like hell we do. I still don't trust you, old man."

"Why don't you go and explore the neighborhood a bit, Zenitsu? Remember not to wander any further than the pink mailbox two blocks down though. I was hoping to have our first day in town be as a family outing."

Zenitsu gulps. He still feels sweaty and messy but he scurries out quicker than lightning. As soon as he's gone, Kaigaku lets out a frustrated breath and kicks a nearby punching bag.

"Oi, tell me the truth, old geezer."

"It's master to you!"

"Which one of us was getting a higher score?"

Kuwajima went quiet at that. Ah, so that's what was wrong. "Zenitsu."

"Fucking hell-!" Kaigaku would've continued, he really would've if he wasn't cut short by the stout man of the hour. He hadn't hesitated to grab his walking cane and give the teen a thwack on the head. It's not hard enough to hurt but it's enough to piss the other off.

"That's enough cursing from you, young man! I also don't think it needs to be established that throwing a sword at your younger brother is not okay at all."

"That thing is not my brother."

"That thing has a name." When Kaigaku looks away, Kuwajima's eyes soften. He rests a hand on the teenager's arm. "You can try your damnedest, Kaigaku, but I'm not going back on my decision to adopt you both."

"You're crazy."

"Being a little crazy is what makes life fun. You could learn a thing or two about that." Helping Kaigaku was going to be a long and arduous process. He didn't expect raising two children, grown and a little messed up in their own ways, to be easy. However, Kuwajima welcomed the upcoming challenge head-on.

Zenitsu, in the meantime, let out a breath of relief when he stepped outside. It was a breezy day, cooling his cheeks that were red with exertion. That was way too scary. Kaigaku really was trying to kill him there. He doesn't think he could last very long if every day was going to be like this. They were walking disasters on their own. Together, they were hell on earth. What was Gramps thinking?

Almost as soon as he's on the sidewalk, he has to scurry back so to not block the way for three people on their phones. Seeing how busy this time of day was, it was surreal. Just a few days ago, he saw this world through the screen of a television or brochure or photos sent to them by adopted children. To now be a part of it and know that he has a home to return to had his nerves frayed. It should've been scary. Instead, his mind is a pleasant dizzying buzz.

He does just as Gramps suggested and began aimlessly walking. The noodle shop smelled heavenly. There was a movie theatre about only a block down. An electronics store glowed neon in the early morning light. The displays of smart phones and computers were of a luxury that Zenitsu had never owned before.

"Can I help you? Are your parents around? If you'd like, I can tell them about our March promotion."

A woman in her mid-twenties chirps at him. Zenitsu realizes he's been staring at a golden-coloured device with a triangular pattern for way too long and creepily. What if she thought he was a thief? He squeaks. "N-No, it's okay...!" Backing out of the front display, he hurries deeper into the store to gaze upon the flat screens littering the wall. Rounding past the strangely shaped metal, his heart stopped dead cold at what awaits him.

Tanjirou...?

No. It wasn't Tanjirou. It couldn't be. Zenitsu has been trying so hard to forget and distract himself ever since he left the orphanage. He was doing pretty well. Between the overwhelming joy of finally being adopted to the fear of Kaigaku in the vicinity, it was easy to forget hanafuda earrings. It wasn't that hard to keep his mind off of those bright eyes belonging to a person with a heartbeat so kind it made him want to cry. Suddenly seeing his face plastered in front of him was too much.

It was a magazine. Stacked within a rack was the face of Tanjirou Kamado, looking way prettier and much more handsome than Zenitsu could even remember. Was it make-up...? Was it his outfit and the way he smiled at the camera? Counting by the height of the rack versus the one sole copy of the magazine left, the only conclusion was that the issue was selling out.

A poor orphan boy fell for him and he left you behind.

Zenitsu reaches out. However, when someone shoves past him to grab the last copy, he flinches. It's a girl slightly older than them. She's giggling into her palms while cradling the book like a treasure. The sight has his mind run into static.

He's never thought of it before. So caught up in their little world, it never occurred to Zenitsu that there were other people who liked Tanjirou to the extent that he did. He was still young but it was only a matter of time before he grew into those baby cheeks. His face would sharpen, his charm would increase, and soon enough there would be an entire fan base vying for Tanjirou's love and attention.

I'm saying that nothing has changed.

Compared to that, Zenitsu really was pathetic.

"Um, sir...?! Excuse me, whose child is this...?!"

Gramps found him sobbing uncontrollably in the electronics store not even ten minutes later. Face towards the ceiling, the small brunet boy cried in that way that he used to when he was five and everyone couldn't stand his guts for it. The fat globs of tears were obnoxious. The screams were loud. Zenitsu was embarrassed to high hell. This was worst than death. But when Gramps took him into his arms, that pain in his heart became a bit more bearable.

School started not even a week after. It wasn't all that much different from attending classes in the orphanage. The only difference was that everyone's shoes were shinier. Their snacks were more colourful. The kids would talk about how their mom was taking them shopping or their dad bought them that new game. The girl across from him threw a fit while on her phone, something about her brother not buying her the perfect gift. Overall, Zenitsu hated it.

He returned home to practice the violin. For the next hour, their small home was filled with the sounds of a sorrow so profound that no one would've believed it came from a twelve year old. Something officially gave way when the door to his room slammed open.

Zenitsu put down the instrument, sighing. "To what do I owe the pleasure, Kaigaku?"

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

He didn't reply, simply tired of the other's antics.

"Look," Kaigaku began, hesitating in what the brunet could identify as the first time ever. "I know I keep telling you to shut up. I still stand by that but you've never listened to me before."

"Are you still on that?" Zenitsu sighed again. "You win. Happy...? That's just it. Please leave me alone now."

"I can't believe this. You've been whining and crying your entire life but what pissed me off the most about you was how you never gave up. Now you're just going to because, what, that pretty boy broke your heart?"

Zenitsu blinked. Something in his brain clicked at that moment. "Are you...are you trying to cheer me up?"

To his great shock, Kaigaku doesn't answer. Instead, he reaches into his school bag to grab a small object hidden from the younger brother's view. It isn't until it's thrown his way and Zenitsu scrambles to catch it (he fails, it smacks him in the face), that he realizes what it is.

Tanjirou Kamado's face stared up at him. It was the magazine, the same issue that was sold out in all the stores just a week ago.

"Burn it, draw ugly marks on his face, whatever. I've done that before when I'm mad." Kaigaku sounds the calmest that he's ever been. It scares Zenitsu. Evidently, it scares him a little too much when he actually screams in horror.

"WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH KAIGAKU?!"

"Sh-Shut up, you little shit...!"

T-T-T-T-T

Zenitsu is nearly sixteen when he finally admits that he has a problem.

It all started with that magazine that Kaigaku had given him. It was collecting dust on his counter for a full day before Zenitsu finally gathered the courage to pick it up and actually read it. To his mounting dread, he finds the words on the page addicting. Anything related to Tanjirou was addicting. The little paragraphs describing Tanjirou on page 43 complete with photos of him sitting at a cafe or by his bakery send little pangs to his fragile preteen heart. That was the moment when things started going downhill.

Sure, it was only a little strange to own two Dance of the Sun God posters in his room. It would've turned a few heads but that was it. Wearing a limited edition T-shirt with the band logo could've been chalked up to that collector's urge within him that was tapped into when he just so happened to find it hidden underneath a pile of graphic jackets. He may have used a phone case or two with that youthful yet handsome face plastered all over it and were exclusive to people who had attended his performance downtown. However, the pristine golden collection of all twenty-seven point five songs on his shelf didn't lie.

He has become a massive fan boy of the now nationwide idol Tanjirou Kamado.

The tipping point was one rainy weekend. Zenitsu was fed up with all the training that Gramps had put him through when in his frustration, Kuwajima had grabbed the Halloween edition Tanjirou pin right from his hands and chucked it in some unforeseen direction. Unfortunately, neither of them accounted for his aim as it went sailing out the window just like it would in a cartoon.

That left the two of them outside in the tiny yard digging around in the mud to look for it. The storm was getting worse. The wind was beginning to smack his bangs into his eyes. However, Zenitsu wouldn't give up! It was the last pin that he needed to complete his wall. That part of his chest that hurt whenever Tanjirou was mentioned had transformed into an unwavering admiration for the idol. It was weird. He knew, but that was the way that the brunet had learned to keep his heart from splitting in two.

When he spotted it wedged near the top branch of a tree, his Gramps sent him a look. "We can come back for it after!" Because of how loud it is, he has to nearly yell just to hear his own voice. Sometimes the old fart forgets that Zenitsu has good ears.

"Gramps, I can't! What if it blows away or gets lost? It was the last one I needed."

"Ah, I'll never understand the priorities of youth these days—Zenitsu...!"

It was too late though. His grandson was already traversing the two meters needed to reach the hanging branch. However, as soon as wet fingers finally clutched onto their target, a sudden boom of light collided into the tree.

"ZENITSU...!"

The addressed boy wakes up in the hospital a few hours later. Hair now permanently changed to a golden blond and joints in pain, Zenitsu admits that he may have a problem. Especially when the pin is returned to him and he's more upset at how ruined it is than the fact that he was just struck by lightning.

As predicted, Gramps scolds him. "Zenitsu, I let you have this little obsession of yours because it's natural for kids your age to latch onto things like this. But at the end of the day, he's just an idol. It's not worth being a giant idiot for."

The now blond cringes, feeling his eyes moisten. Right, just an idol... "Yes, Gramps..."

The old man softly drops a fist to the top of his head. "Good. Now because I'm a great master, I knew you'd be bored staying overnight so I brought your laptop. You can do whatever you want on it but your music instructor still wants your assignment turned in before midnight."

Zenitsu had already submitted the essay before eating lunch but he greedily makes to grab for it anyways. With tears in his eyes, he cries out in full sincerity. "Gramps, I love you...!"

The man blushes, clutching his chest.

Visiting hours are soon over and Zenitsu is left sitting alone in the hospital bed. He's browsing a playlist, keeping his eye on the official Dance of the Sun God website tab of merchandise just in case there were any new models. He sighs. Maybe just tonight, he'd hold back a little. About to close out of Tanjirou's blog, he jolts still when there's a new announcement posted at the very top that wasn't there a few hours ago.

Surprise live stream at 9pm tonight!

"A live stream...?!" Oh, how the gods must hate him. Just when Zenitsu was thinking that he should start moving on, Tanjirou's public representative had to pull this stunt. It made his head spin a little. The fifteen-year old idol had never done something like this before. This might've been an once-in-a-lifetime (and he's not exaggerating) opportunity here. He giggles. "Sorry, Gramps..."

Just this once, Zenitsu would indulge himself. Then he swears that tomorrow morning, he'd start anew.

By the time it's five minutes before nine, he finds himself excitedly bouncing his leg on the bed sheets. He wonders what this was about. Tanjirou's voice and singing had improved immensely since his debut song in a dirty subway. Ever since he first heard it on the phone, Zenitsu knew that some part of him was hooked. He's always wanted to question the redhead on where the heck that sudden heart in his voice came from but never got the chance to.

Finally, the stream starts. The chat that was active goes absolutely bonkers when the black screen with the band's logo suddenly focuses in on two ruby red eyes. Zenitsu feels his heart clench. It was just like that first video Tanjirou sent him. He was still as wonderful and kind as ever. As if to deliver the final blow, he was in that same checkered green scarf that complimented his smile so well.

"Good evening, everyone...!" He greets. The chat explodes with emoticons and hearts. "It's Tanjirou Kamado here. I'm sure that a lot of you are wondering what this is about."

There's a ping to indicate a donation. Beneath the announcement of the anonymous giver is a question in a textbox. 'When is your next album coming up?'

To Zenitsu's surprise, Tanjirou doesn't directly answer the question. Instead, he smiles. "That's what I wanted to talk about later in the stream. Thank you so much for your patience. Today, I'm not here to talk about that however. There's someone that I want all of you to meet."

Someone...? A girlfriend...?

Zenitsu wipes his eyes.

But instead of the camera turning around to reveal some pretty brunette in a cute bow or a gorgeous older girl in frilly pink, it's instead pointed towards the ground as Tanjirou makes the short trek through the unknown building. The suspense is killing all of them. They could hear the rushing of people passing by but otherwise were privy to nothing else but the dull patterns on the floor. After a few seconds of this, a door is pushed open.

When the camera pulls up, Zenitsu's breath catches.

It's Kie Kamado, lying on the bed with a bundle of blankets in her arms. When she greets her son with a proud smile, Zenitsu can practically hear Tanjirou smiling back at her. What directs Zenitsu's attention and has him gasping though are the other two figures by her side. An older man who looked to be the splitting image of Tanjirou and the petite figure of a pink-eyed girl in a mask hovered over the woman in a worried but kind cloud.

"This is my family, everyone. Please say hello!"

Zenitsu whispers out a greeting through his cloudy vision. However, he couldn't even hear the salutation past his own rapid heartbeat.

Could it be? Did Tanjirou really do it? It's been three and a half long years but the blond understood what this was immediately. That idiot had gone and performed the miracle that he so desperately needed to save his family. Nezuko and Tanjurou Kamado had gone through the surgery and came out of the multitude of physical therapy sessions to make a full recovery. They were amazing, no doubt just like their son. They were so strong. He wasn't the only one to notice as the fans start crying out triumphantly.

As if that wasn't enough, Tanjirou reaches out to uncover the blankets. There's a freshly born baby just within its confines. He opens his eyes and the world gasps. He's beautiful. Little Rokuta reaches out a hand to touch his older brother's finger before letting out a giggle.

"I have a new brother now. His name is Rokuta!"

Adorabuwu

What an angel!

10/10 would see him open his eyes again

Im cryign

Tanjirou continues playing with the baby while his other family members introduce themselves. Zenitsu suddenly feels like he's twelve again, watching Tanjirou share his family with him for the very first time. But, no. He couldn't get carried away again. This wasn't for him. This was for everyone, Tanjirou's fan base and the large amount of people who cared for him. Zenitsu barely mattered in the grand scheme of things.

"Thank you, everyone. For watching me sing, for donating, and for being so supportive these past three years. I couldn't have helped Nezuko and Otou-san without you. There's absolutely no way I can ever repay all of you." Oh no, now that forehead idiot was beginning to cry. There's a moment of silence where he only sniffles. Nezuko lifts a small hand up to land on her brother's shoulder in support. He looks to her before taking a deep breath. Then, he delivers the words that send the room into deafening shock.

"Starting today, I'm resigning as a member of Dance of the Sun God. I'm giving up on being an idol."

Zenitsu drops his mouse.

"I know that a lot of you have high hopes for me. This is my decision and my family supports it." As if to prove that point, his father's hand shifts to comfortingly ruffle through his son's locks. "It's selfish of me but my wish is that everyone here supports me too. The truth is the very fact that I'm filming this video goes against my contract. I'm well aware of this. There were rules to what I can or cannot do and I'm breaking one of the biggest ones right now. For all the trouble that I'm causing my teammates and partners at our company, I'm very sorry!"

The chat that went dead for a full few seconds picks up again. Reassurances that it wasn't Tanjirou's fault begin morphing to questions and worry over what was happening and why he was quitting.

However, Tanjirou ignores them. Instead, he goes to put Rokuta back into his mother's arms. Now with Nezuko's hand clutched into his and Kie Kamado leaning against him, he lets out a teary laugh. "Hello, Zenitsu... it's me."

.

.

"Tanjirou...?"

It was like a dam broke. Like Tanjirou was holding something back all this time and now that he's said those few words, the rest of the burden unhinges. His voice was already like jingling bells before. Now it takes on an undertone so caring, so affectionate, and decidedly wet with emotion. "Sorry for the surprise. I know that you don't like those. I don't think you could ever forgive me but... I'm hoping that you're watching this stream and can understand," same as in that first video, Tanjirou's cheeks redden with a cough, "...how much I really care about you."

"I didn't become an idol for the fame or popularity. I did it to save my family. However, as I kept singing and meeting more amazing people, I realized that I love this job more than I ever thought I would." Tanjirou continued. He squeezed his sister's hand. "But if it means that I'm not allowed to be with you, Zenitsu, I don't want it anymore."

Just the same as before, the chat goes still. The ruby irises of Tanjirou shakily rake over the unresponsive silence of his fan base for only a split second before he continues. "On your birthday, meet me on the street number equal to the number of letters that we agreed we needed to exchange before marrying. I'll be under the tree of your favourite fruit."

At that statement, the chat explodes once more. Not even a minute and there are dozens of speculations. Some people were furious. Others were hysterical with jealousy and heartbreak. Most were in denial. Comments demanding that this Zenitsu person hurry and reveal themselves were prominent. Zenitsu very evidently does not, leaving his heart dangling on a rod when Tanjirou waves at the camera before the stream ends.

For a whole hour, he stares. Even long after the commotion dies out and most of the fans have left the website to spread the news, Zenitsu is left trembling. There was no way that just happened. He must've dreamed all of that. Wait, that's it...! That must be it. That's the only logical explanation. There's no way that Tanjirou, that stupid big forehead idiot, that wonderful boy with a voice as soft as the clear blue sky and locks the colour of flames, would so resolutely give up everything for someone as trivial as Zenitsu.

He clicks off the stream. Almost immediately, the page underneath that was on a random social media site had auto-refreshed and Zenitsu was suddenly assaulted. He was assaulted and beaten by the sheer amount of articles that propagated online like wildfire. The small clip taken from the brief live stream had been uploaded and was gaining views faster than Zenitsu could properly lie down.

He does just that. Zenitsu shuts his laptop and lies down to stare at the ceiling.

His heart was beating so loudly, so fast, that it was competing with the flush on his cheeks for who could send Zenitsu to an early grave faster. It was futile anyway. The winner would always be Tanjirou.

His sixteenth birthday is but a few weeks away. He spends the quiet Saturday with Gramps and Kaigaku, sharing a sweet fruit cake before catching the one-hour long subway ride to the coordinates that he entered into his phone. It's when he's but two stops and a mere ten minute walk away from that tiny red dot on his map that Zenitsu begins properly feeling excited.

He flattens his thin dark jacket and fluffs up his pale yellow scarf. The blond hadn't put much thought into his wardrobe. Maybe he should have. Tanjirou would look amazing. He always did. Maybe they could enjoy a nice evening together catching up before exchanging information. Zenitsu didn't dare hope for anything else other than the red head's friendship. That would be creepy and out of line of him. The excitement of simply seeing him again and in person leaves him in the form of a gross squeal.

Five minutes away from his destination, those thoughts take a nosedive.

Actually, wait, no. What was he supposed to expect from this? Perhaps everything was some elaborate prank that Tanjirou was part of to fool that insignificant memory of a friend as content for a video. It'd be trending for a whole month. Zenitsu would become a laughing stock. He'd die of embarrassment then scurry back to his room to stuff ten gallons of ice cream in his face before resigning to a life under his bed. That sounded more in-tune to the kind of life Zenitsu thought he'd have.

Zenitsu didn't have any more time to think on it when a sound enters his ears.

It was a sound so gentle and kind, its symphony displaying an undertone of summer that was impossible to catch through the phone, that it made him want to cry.

Underneath a peach tree and waiting with a bouquet of roses was Tanjirou. The location was isolated and hard to find. Several times, Zenitsu had to traverse off of the sidewalk and through a random conglomeration of trees to get there. As a result, it left the two of them thoroughly alone. Seeing him, Zenitsu knew there was no way he wouldn't be caught. Some part of him wanted to run away. However, his body moves forward.

As soon as he was close enough, Tanjirou's head shoots up. Their eyes meet and the world stills.

Just like that first time on the phone, somehow and miraculously, Tanjirou knows that it's him before he even says more than two words. "Zenitsu...?"

Zenitsu takes in a deep breath.

Then marches the last remaining steps to Tanjirou in order to give him a piece of his mind.

"You're unbelievable...!" His mouth is running before he can stop himself. The awe that was in his system at seeing Tanjirou in the flesh and not on a stage several dozen meters away was too much for his brain to handle. Not knowing what else to do, he can only scold him. "Why are you so reckless, Tanjirou? You can't just... you can't just throw away your entire future like that! I wasn't mad, you know. I wasn't. But I am now that you pulled this stunt-"

"You're beautiful." Tanjirou blurts out.

Zenitsu stops. Such a comment would send anyone to the afterlife. He can't be blamed when his entire being heats up all the way to his ears. He tries to speak again but fails when he notices ruby red eyes raking over him—his honey irises, his golden hair, and his soft face—with zero shame. When he finally gathers his scattered embarrassment and confusion over why Tanjirou was so star struck into a manageable pile, his voice is higher than usual. "You... look good too?"

Tanjirou lets out some combination of a familiar frustrated grunt and a snort of laughter. Now grown a little and much more equipped to express his feelings, he wastes no time in presenting the bouquet to him. He has that same look on his face like he was beholding something very precious to him. His posture is relaxed but straight, coming off as perfectly suave. If it wasn't for the blush high on his cheeks and the flustered music of his heart, the blond would've been fooled. "Zenitsu, I don't know how I can make this any clearer to you."

The addressed shakily accepts the bouquet, its dark red petals blowing in the wind. His chest feels on fire. "H-huh...?"

Instead of explaining himself, Tanjirou gestures to the tiny picnic that was set up within the shade of the tree. In his haste, Zenitsu hadn't notice it until now. He makes to take a seat but is halted when the redhead suddenly sheds his own jacket to lay it on the ground for him. That... was oddly intimate. Why was Tanjirou playing tricks on his feelings like this?! He tries not to make a big deal out of it. Tanjirou was probably this courteous to everyone. Zenitsu carefully makes himself comfortable on the other's coat, setting the gorgeous and undoubtedly expensive red roses next to his legs.

"Are you hungry? I figured I made you travel a long way to get here." Just like magic, Tanjirou reaches into the basket next to him to produce an array of wrapped sweets. They resembled the ones sent to him throughout the years by mail to a T. Or, actually, and Zenitsu looks closer, that isn't true. The slabs of messy icing were replaced with pristine swirls. The once deformed fragments of mochi were rolled perfectly. This wasn't the project of a seven year old still learning the ropes anymore. It was the craftsmanship of a baker.

However, strangely enough and for the first time ever, Zenitsu didn't feel like eating them yet, not until he had a chance to calm down and figure out what the heck was going on. When the blond doesn't accept them, Tanjirou withdraws with a hurt grimace.

"I-" the eldest brother tenses. His next line comes so abruptly that Zenitsu jumps in his seat. "I'm sorry! I truly am! I have reasons for why I stopped contacting you but no excuses. They gave me a contract and confiscated my phone. Even what I was allowed to say and who I was allowed to talk to was monitored. I had a public representative who edited everything I posted. If I went out of line even once, they said they'd fire me."

This information was new to Zenitsu. He didn't know about the intricacies of being an idol. It never hit him until now what kind of work went into remaining a public icon. This entire time, he thought that Tanjirou was simply done with him. The thought had crushed him. It crushed him but he just couldn't blame his friend for making such a decision. Zenitsu wasn't lying when he said he wasn't mad about it before. Now, hearing this, he couldn't help but feel stupid. "It's okay."

"It's... no, it's not." Tanjirou had a difficult look on his face. He was expecting the other to have more to say than that. Yell at him, maybe throw something at him, but not this. "I missed so much of your life, Zenitsu. By the time I managed to sneak away and call the orphanage, you had already left. I didn't know what your new phone number or address was-"

"You couldn't help it." Really, he couldn't. Tanjirou wasn't a horrible person. Far from it, he was the kindest being that Zenitsu has ever met. Why was he even sitting with him right now? Nothing made sense. "Tanjirou, your sister and father were in danger. Don't ever apologize for doing what you had to."

"I'm not as good of a person as you think, Zenitsu." Tanjirou says it at such an opportune moment that for a second, the older is paranoid that he said all of his thoughts out loud. He hadn't though. "In fact, I'm pretty selfish. I've already achieved my dream and yet I still want more. I wanted it so much that I let everyone down."

Zenitsu lets out a teary snort. "What could you possibly want so badly?"

A sharp intake of breath is his only viable reaction when the other suddenly reaches out to grab his hand. Zenitsu is speechless. He remains as such even when Tanjirou moves to intertwine their fingers with a steaming face. "I want you to tell me about your new home and family... only if you want to, of course!"

The blond opens his mouth but he's cut off before he can utter a word.

"If you choose not to forgive me and say no, I don't blame you!" Tanjirou's voice was rising. Maybe there was some correlation between how stupidly loud Tanjirou spoke and how effectively his unfairly pretty jaw line never failed to make Zenitsu's heart woozy. "I want to hear about everything in your life right now, just like before! I know that I'm not good enough to deserve you. However, I will work very hard to meet your expectations and-!"

"T-Tanjirou, your face is all red. Breathe...!"

The redhead sputtered. "I a-am!"

"Uh no, you aren't! You have to move your stomach, not your shoulders. I thought I taught you this already!" At this point, they're both yelling like idiots. "If you want to meet my expectations, work hard on breathing properly first, you idiot!"

"This isn't about singing, Zenitsu!" Tanjirou, so caught up in years now approaching a decade of frustration just for his feelings to be misinterpreted again are enough to push him over the edge without filter. "I'm in love with you!"

Silence. The declaration is so loud that it echoes on the horizon.

Honey eyes meet ember.

"What...?"

Too late to back down, the hanafuda-earring boy can only plow forward. Even as the embarrassment on his face increases, so does his sincerity. "You said earlier that I threw away my entire future when I made that announcement. I didn't. I just chose a different one, I chose you, over that other future because I want to be with you."

"You..." The blond could already feel the waterworks starting. His heart was so full it was ready to burst. He tries his best to hold it back but try as he might, the tears still escape.

There's no way. This has to be another dream. It was a zero percent possibility that Tanjirou—wonderful, kind, and amazing Tanjirou who everyone loved—would return his feelings. However, the universe proves him wrong when he feels callused fingers touch the delicate skin under his eyes. Confused, he realizes too late that the gesture was made in order to wipe the wetness away. The brief brush of those fingers burn his skin pleasantly.

Suddenly or maybe not so suddenly, Tanjirou was really close. When did he get so close? He was way closer than anyone has ever been to him before. Zenitsu almost forgets how to speak. He couldn't, not when a forehead touches his own and there's a breath tickling his cheeks. From this distance, the blond can see specks of crimson fire in ruby eyes. He didn't know Tanjirou had them. It's breathtaking in a way he can't describe. The single finger that was gently caressing his cheek like a treasure moves so that an entire rough hand is cupping his face, pinkie tangled in golden locks. The other boy doesn't move any closer though, giving Zenitsu the chance to push him away.

He doesn't.

"Do you feel the same way?"

"You're going to be disappointed." Zenitsu answers instead.

"I'm not."

"You'll miss being an idol." He tries again. "Tanjirou, you love singing."

"I love you more."

That's it. Zenitsu can't take it anymore. All his inhibitions scream and die all at once. He surges forward without warning, capturing his crush's lips. Tanjirou is too surprised to respond for all of two seconds. It doesn't last long. When he feels the soft movement against his mouth indicating that Tanjirou was kissing him back, Zenitsu feels a part of him melt. There's something so warm about Tanjirou, like there was life burning in the very essence his soul. Like this, with his hot breaths so close, the fire spreads to him as well. It's wet but pleasant. Soon their awkward kiss turns tender, both caught up in expressing the depth of their feelings to the other.

Now his sound was everywhere. It wasn't just a passing chime of bells over the phone. It wasn't just hints of a choir of chirping birds and running streams so far out of Zenitsu's reach from where he listened to the boy sing on stage. It's here, in his hands, his nervous but soft hands that normally played the piano so well cling to the front of Tanjirou's shirt like a lifeline.

It's when a very strong but comforting arm wraps around his waist that Zenitsu realizes that he practically jumped into Tanjirou's lap. He separates from him in a panic. "S-Sorry!" However, the grip that the other has on him only tightens, pulling him back.

The younger boy won't have any of that. He leans forward to close the space again. Instead of kissing him again though, he aims his affections to that spot on Zenitsu's neck in between his jaw and scarf. The blond lets out a squeaky giggle.

"T-Tanjirou, that tickles!"

"Hmm," he hums. If Tanjirou's sound was content before, Zenitsu can only describe it now as happiness in its purest form. "You smell really nice, Zenitsu."

"Wh-What...? That's super embarrassing, you know! Don't use your nose on me like that."

"No."

"I can't believe you!" He says but the golden-haired boy is smiling.

Eventually, Zenitsu gives up on trying to escape from his spot on Tanjirou's lap. To make the situation even more insufferable, his boyfriend (?!) insists on being the one to feed him since it was his birthday. "I want to" was his only explanation. It was overwhelming. He wasn't used to being spoiled like this, not when he was born without even a blanket or name. Not when he was born without anyone to love him.

Now, though...? Zenitsu had a name and so much more. He had a home, a family to call his own. He had a grandfather who he loves very much and who trains him. He had a brother who tolerated him. He had a future.

And Tanjirou Kamado would become a very prominent part of that future.

T-T-T-T-T

"What did you want to tell me so badly?"

"Ah! Zenitsu, I got a call from my old agency. It's about my contract."

"Oh no. Are they enforcing it on you?"

"No, no! It's nothing bad like that. The old contract is gone. They want a revised one that would work while I'm still seeing you."

"I thought idols aren't allowed to date."

"Normally they aren't. But apparently that live stream I did was so popular and gathered so much positive attention that they worked out a new image for me."

"A-A new image...?"

"Yup! They want permission to make a documentary about us leading up to our wedding."

"WEDDING...?! W-Wait, since when were we engaged?"

"Since we first met. Did you forget, Zenitsu?"

"Oh my god."