Boiling Drain
Note: This story takes place between episode 10 and 11. It's building on my previous The Owl House fics, Own your narrative and Amity's calamity. It's not entirely necessary to have read those first, but things will make slightly more sense if you have.
This is a very venty fic. Surprise! Not. But! For once it's not centered on periods - now that's a surprise.
Summary: Lilith has a rough morning, and her day doesn't exactly get any easier. CW: body pains.
Lilith leaned on the sink and sighed. Today was important. She did not have time for her body to be... so uncooperative. She turned her neck slightly, trying to see if she could just make it crick in that way that made the tension in her jaw and face lessen. She strained a moment, hearing the creak of her muscles. She let the pain build.
Almost, almost... she thought as the corner of her eyes and back of her nose burned, threatening tears. Her mind buzzed like an orchestra tuning up; discordant, chaotic - but she knew that if she just held on... No, she had to stop. It was too much. She hung her aching head and sniffed in frustration. The slight movement jarred her hips and knees into joining in the symphony of aches. That, in turn, made her stomach pinch up and roil. The wave of nausea made her head spin. She had to plant her feet firmly and close her eyes.
Today is not a day I vomit into the sink, she thought angrily. Her stomach slowly settled. Now her attention drifted to the soreness in the rest of her body. The pain in her hips and lower back was particularly unpleasant today. Leaning forward as she was, the pressure was off her lumbar region, but she knew it would be agony to stand up straight. And worse to walk. It would get easier once she was moving, she knew. But getting past that first hump was always a challenge. The mere thought of wearing high heels made her feel nauseated again.
I have got to look my best. I can't show weakness in front of everyone. I can't stay home. I have to be there. I have to.
Today was Noctem primi imperatoris; Night of the First Emperor. As the leader of the Emperor's Coven, Lilith would lead the procession and cast the complicated spell to open the door to the Temple of Unity; an ancient structure in the Forest of Shatterthorn. On this evening every year, the leaders of the covens and their students gathered there to honor the memory of Meserif; the first Emperor of the Boiling Isles.
She contemplated taking a potion of Orcilae; a powerful pain reliever and muscle relaxant. But that would leave her groggy and useless. She could never get it exactly right, no matter how many times she tried; potion making had never been her strong suit. And she refused to go and buy a potion like that. Then people would know she needed it, and Lilith couldn't bear that. She'd have to settle for willow bark tea. At least she could have a warm bath before getting ready.
She slid into the all but scalding water with a hiss that flowed into a desperate sigh of relief. The tension around the pain disappeared in an instant. The aches themselves lessened much more slowly, now that the pressure was off her joints. That feeling of rawness faded, and for a blissful few minutes, Lilith was able to relax.
As she lay there, her arms floating next to her, the scent of the lavender and honeysuckle oil filling her nose, she brought the ritual to open the temple doors to mind. She knew it by heart; this wouldn't be the first time she'd had the honor of performing it. It was beautifully complex. She had been nervous the first time, but she had pulled it off without a hitch. She knew she would do fine today, too. It was just a matter of pushing through the pain. And there would be that... moment. When the summoned magic would course through her, fill her entire being. A perfect moment. She knew it was going to cost her, but she could bear the strain of it. At least, it felt as if she could, lying there in the bath.
She remained in the tub as the water drained. The shock on her body going from floating unsupported to taking the full weight of her again would be lessened if she did it that way. She got up when the water was half-way gone, moving slowly to avoid the potential snaps and stabs of her rapidly cooling muscles. She wrapped herself in a towel and took a few deep breaths before starting to brush and dry her hair.
Her slippers went swoosh, swoosh over the stones in her big, empty kitchen. It was scrupulously clean. Herb and spice jars stood in impressive rows along open shelves, and hung in fragrant bunches from the ceiling. The willow bark stood closest to the stove, ready and waiting for her. She noticed she was running low.
She sat down at the head of the kitchen table while she waited for the water to boil for her tea. She tried to will some appetite into being, but none would come. Not for porridge anyway. She knew she had some honeycomb saved for just this sort of day. She fetched it from the pantry, rubbing her sore back as she went.
The tea was a little too hot as she took the first sip, so she let it cool a few minutes before trying again. She put a large piece of honeycomb into the cup and watched it dissolve as she nibbled the remaining chunk. It was wonderfully sweet and sticky and cool. She tried to treasure this moment of stillness, for the rest of the day would be chaotic and noisy.
Once she had finished her breakfast, she went to get dressed and put her makeup on. Every step of her morning ritual was important for her to feel put together for the day. Perfect charcoal black wings for her sea foam green eyes, hair brushed exactly one thousand times, dress crisp and clean. It made her feel more in control of herself, seeing the result in the ornate, full length mirror in her dressing room. While she was focused on dressing, the pain was kept at bay. Now, however, when she was ready, it came back like crystallized honey trickling over the back of a spoon. The tightness of her bodice helped with her back, but the wide skirt made her hips feel unsupported and exposed. She sat down to put on her boots. They were gorgeous little beasts but they were agony to wear. She rubbed some liniment into the soles of her feet before she put them on. The balls of her feet took her weight and she braced herself for the cold jab and following searing numbness as her sinews resettled. It came and went, and Lilith's face barely showed a hint of discomfort. It was easier to control herself when she was fully dressed.
Her working day was long and hard. She felt weak with hunger, but still had no appetite at lunch. She told her colleagues she had some work to finish, and spent the lunch hour lying down on the divan in her office, wrapped in shawls. She contemplated taking off her boots, but knew that it'd only make putting them back on that much more painful. She had more willow bark tea to take the edge off, and even managed to eat some candied almonds a few minutes before heading back to her classroom.
During the afternoon, she started to feel faint. The pain was grating by this point. She knew she would feel better if she could only eat a proper meal. But she feared that it would have to wait until after the ceremony.
You've been through worse, Lilith, she told herself over and over. A true Clawthorne does not shirk her duties to the Empire. A true Clawthorne... Her mind drifted to her wayward sister. The familiar feeling of shame, hurt and regret wrapped around her stomach and squeezed. If Edalyn could only see sense! Lilith had always looked up to her older sister; the talented potioneer with aspirations to join the Emperor's Coven one day. She still wasn't sure what exactly had changed to make Edalyn stray so very far from their shared childhood dream. With another sting of shame, she recalled how Edalyn's Orcilae potion had never left anyone feeling groggy and useless. She wished she had some now, by the stars how she wished it.
The Hexide students lined up outside the school, all wearing their gray cloaks and the masks they had been working on during the week. Lilith stood by the gates to the school, waiting for the other teachers to wrangle the students. She had donned her coven leader cloak and mask, and was thankful for them both. The cloak kept the wind off her back, and nobody could see her face behind the mask. She could feel beads of cold sweat roll down her temples. She was struggling to stand up straight. It felt as if her thigh bones would slip out of her hip sockets at any moment. Her feet were throbbing; there was no comfortable way to stand. She hadn't had time to eat. Her jaw was so tense it felt as if the muscles in her face had turned to stone. She longed to roll her shoulders, or walk around a bit, but she had the honor students and Principal Bump next to her. Thankfully he was talking to one of the older girls, one of his own proteges, so Lilith wasn't forced to make small talk. She was pleased to see her own star protege stand silent and proud in her spotless cloak and beautifully hand-crafted mask. Lilith remembered the time she had wrapped her own cloak around the girl's shoulders a few months ago, when the poor thing had had that... unfortunate afternoon. Then her heart stung with shame when she remembered the disastrous events of the covention a few weeks ago. She had let her sister get the better of her. And she had put Miss Blight in the middle of it. She knew she should have known better than to do that. Yet she hadn't had the courage to bring it up with Miss Blight. And Miss Blight seemed to pretend like it hadn't happened.
Focus, Lilith, she told herself.
When the school bell began to toll five o'clock, everyone fell silent. As the last echoing gong faded, Principal Bump raised his hands and lit the torches carried by the teachers and himself. He and Lilith turned to face the forest together, then started walking down the wide cobbled path toward the temple.
The procession was supposed to be absolutely quiet as it approached the temple, but a few distinct teacher shushes could be heard from the mass of students. Lilith could see the differently colored flames from the other covens through the trees. They would meet in front of the temple and light the braziers representing each coven. Then Lilith would step forward and perform the ritual.
She had to concentrate very hard to walk straight. She knew she was moving slower than usual. Principal Bump had given her a few glances. And he had slowed down for her. She hated it. She hated him seeing her this way. She was sure there was pity in his eyes. Her heart was beating hard in her chest, and she could feel her pulse in the balls of her feet and the outside of her hips. She gritted her teeth and sped up slightly, pushing through the treacle-like pain.
They arrived at the temple twenty seconds after the other covens. Lilith's cheeks burned under her mask at the susurration of whispers; the leader for the Emperor's Coven was supposed to arrive first.
Principal Bump stepped forward and lit the first brazier. Flames erupted to either side, and soon the temple doors were lit by a rainbow of flickering fire.
All was silent.
Lilith took a breath, then summoned her staff. She strode forward into the middle of the half circle-shaped glade, her steps echoing among the trees. She bowed to the door, feeling her body ping and creak. She didn't make a sound.
She lifted her hand, fingers held like a cat's paw. As she extended and spread her fingers and turned her wrist, each digit created its own spell circle - they slid up her arm, ready and waiting to be used. She began with fire, honoring the first element to be tamed. Then came water, which had quenched the first Emperor's thirst. And the earth that nourished him, and the wind that had filled his lungs. Each elemental globe shone brightly, encircling Lilith. With a flick of her hand, the elemental globes flew together, becoming a streak of golden light that leapt through and joined the nine braziers. Lilith's jaw clenched tightly as she wove the pattern of the first Emperor's emblem, every finger, every breath controlled. She did not blink, she did not waver. As the golden symbol glowed around her, she lowered both hands to the ground. With enormous effort, she called up the power from below, fighting through the agony of the movement. The light swelled in the glade and she bent low again. Another pull, another burst of light. The third time she invoked the power, she felt a surge of euphoria burst forth in her chest - it was almost enough to knock her to the ground. The light billowed around her, her hair danced, her cloak shimmered in the light she had summoned. Her spirit was flame, it was the air, it was the ground and the stars and the trees. She focused her mind back into her body and made the final movement to seal the spell - she boldly thrust her staff into the ground. She gasped as the power drove up her arm and into her chest, then down into her legs and out, away from her. Her cloak billowed in the surge of magical energy as it flowed from her and toward the temple doors. A loud click echoed through the glade, then the doors began to swing open. Panting, Lilith shivered at the pleasure of the ritual's completion. She was tall, she was strong, she was powerful. She strode forward, every step crackling with energy. She held the power inside her, letting it fill her to the brim. It was almost too much to bear, the complete opposite of pain. She strode to the tenth brazier at the center of the stone temple and put her hand into the oil. A golden flame burst forth, but did not burn her. Such was the power of this place. Such was the power of the first Emperor. She was allowed to feel it, to summon and carry it for a little while. Then she had to give it back. She felt it flow out of her fingers and into the flame. It drained away so fast it took her breath away.
When she turned around, she saw the temple filled with the nine covens and felt her heart swell with emotion. Here they all were! To honor the person who first united the Empire, who had forged chaos into peace. To whom everyone owed their lives. Her passion kept the pain at bay, but she could feel it nipping at her heels. Now, her part was over, and she stepped away so that the Keeper of the Scroll could step forward and read the first Emperor's speech to his people.
She stood next to her students, tall and proud, listening to the choir sing the nine verses of Meserif the Valiant. She could feel the admiring looks from the people around her. She gloried in their awe of her.
The aches came creeping back and soon she was in agony again, chiding herself for wanting the ceremony to end.
At long last, she led the procession out of the temple. She was determined to walk faster now. Principal Bump did not glance at her. Once they were outside, people were allowed to break up and mingle. Lilith saw her students run to parents and older siblings. Principal Bump greeted his husband and children over to her right.
A pang of shame struck through the aches. This was when her sister should have been here to greet and congratulate Lilith on a job well done. Or perhaps Edalyn would have been the one to perform the ritual. Her sister was her only remaining family. Their parents had passed away before Lilith was appointed leader of the Emperor's Coven. But she knew they would be immensely proud of her. As proud of her as they had been disappointed in their eldest daughter.
Lilith's hand slipped on her staff. It was slick with sweat. She blinked and tried to steady herself. She wanted to leave now, more than ever. The ceremony was over; so technically she could leave, but the custom was to remain and talk to friends and family, then go celebrate with a meal. The thought of food made Lilith's stomach pinch up with nausea again. She turned to go, and her staff snagged on her cloak - she stumbled into someone much shorter than herself. It was only the blaring internal alarm of DON'T TRAMPLE THE CHILDREN that kept Lilith on her feet. She felt her meager meals of the day try to barge their way up her throat.
"I'm so sorry, Miss Clawthorne!" a familiar voice squeaked from the ground.
Lilith had to blink fast and swallow hot bile before her eyes could focus on the girl lying flat on her back in front of her. Amity Blight looked up at her mentor, looking shocked and terrified, her hands raised in front of her chest.
"I didn't look where I was going, Miss Blight, I'm the one who should be sorry," Lilith said in a thick voice, swallowing again to get the awful taste out of her mouth. She steeled herself, then reached down to help the girl up; it was the least she could do. Miss Blight grasped her hand - that was when Lilith noticed the trembling in her own arm. Their eyes met behind their masks. Neither of them moved. A few month long seconds passed, then Amity's eyes flicked away to the people muttering around them. Without putting any strain on her mentor's hand, Amity used her free arm to push herself up. As she was getting to her feet, she pushed on Lilith's hand, which allowed Lilith to stand up; from the outside it looked a little awkward, but it was convincing enough for the onlookers to write it off as a slightly stiff interaction between a teacher and a student.
"I'm really sorry to have stepped into your path, Miss Clawthorne," Amity said a little louder than was necessary. That made the last onlookers move along. The girl was still holding onto her teacher's hand, then raised it up to her own shoulder. Lilith realized the kindness her protege was showing her and leaned a little more weight on the child than she intended. Behind her mask, Amity's eyes widened. "Would... would you like to walk back to school together, Miss Clawthorne? I wanted to ask you about the ceremony."
"C-certainly, Miss Blight," Lilith said with a bit of effort.
They moved slowly away from the center of the glade. Miss Blight kept up a rather convincing stream of questions that only required yes or no answers until they reached the forest path leading back to Hexside. When they had walked a hundred steps or so into the forest, Lilith took a stumbling step away from Miss Blight and leaned against a tree. She raised a shaking hand to take off her mask. She hated having to do this in front of someone, but she couldn't hold it back anymore - she took a deep breath, gagged, then vomited onto the ground. When she was done, she leaned her sweating forehead against the trunk of the tree and panted.
"A-are you ill, Miss Clawthorne?" Amity inquired carefully. "Should I go get Principal Bump?"
"No!" Lilith panted rather harshly. She took a breath, then said: "No, thank you," in a much softer tone. She tried to make a spell circle to conjure a chair, but the circle broke apart and faded in mid air. She let out a quiet groan of frustration. There was a fallen tree a few steps to the right of her, but she feared she wouldn't make it without falling over. "Could you please help me to the tree?" she asked in a defeated voice.
"Oh, yes, of course," Amity hurried forward and took her mentor's arm.
Lilith sat down rather hard on the trunk of the uprooted tree, placing her staff in front of her. She put both hands on it and leaned her forehead against it. She felt the shame burning her cheeks and neck. She knew the silence had dragged on for far too long already, but at the moment, she couldn't summon the energy to form words. Her feet were screaming at her, her hips felt like blocks of cracking ice, her back was a volcano of broken glass and her jaw and neck muscles and temples were thundering like a beehive in a summer storm. It was agony. It was torture. It was shameful. In the symphony of physical torment, there was a piccolo hornpipe of cold pain centered around her lower stomach. Suddenly it all made sense. Her body pains always got much worse around mid-moon time. Today was particularly bad, but it was nothing... new. She let out an amused breath, then had to close her eyes. Oh stars, she was so tired.
Amity sat down next to her teacher and waited, her chest tight and her hands wringing in her lap. She didn't know what was going on. Miss Clawthorne looked ill. She had thrown up. It smelled awful, but Amity didn't want to embarrass her mentor further. After all, Miss Clawthorne had practically saved her life a few months back. Amity would never forget that. She knew what it felt like to not want any more people than necessary involved in an embarrassing event, but at the same time, she had no idea what to do now. When people were sick they needed... rest. And like... soup. Miss Clawthorne was sitting down, so that counted as resting, but Amity had nothing to make soup with. Or a recipe or anything. Not that she'd be able to make soup even if she had had ingredients, or a recipe. She would mess it up. She didn't want to give Miss Clawthorne any more reasons to doubt her abilities. After all, why else would she have put that power glyph on Amity's neck at the covention? She must have thought Amity incapable of defeating a magic-less human in a magic duel. She bit her lip - she was done crying about that. She had been determined to prove herself worthy to her mentor ever since. Now she was friends with Luz, that made everything even more complicated - her mind raced faster and faster. When Miss Clawthorne finally made a sound, Amity jumped.
"Miss Blight," Miss Clawthorne rasped. "I will be fine, you can leave. Don't miss the feast on my account."
"I don't feel comfortable leaving you like this, Miss Clawthorne," Amity said uncertainly. You don't think I can help you, but I can! I know I can!
Miss Clawthorne sighed and looked up blearily. She found it quite impossible to focus on her student. Of course, it was twilight, and they were in a forest, that must surely be it. She turned her head to look up at the sky and regretted it instantly. The contrast between light and dark made her eyes sting. No, she would not be able to make it even to the school by herself.
"Please," Amity said in a timid voice. "Let me help."
Miss Clawthorne's shoulders sagged as she let out a defeated sigh.
"Do you know," Miss Clawthorne began in a strained whisper. "How to drive stick?"
"I've flown my parents' from time to time," Amity said, frowning slightly.
"Good!" Lilith tried to infuse her words with certainty, to make the situation easier for her student. "Then if you wouldn't mind, could you," she took a shaky breath. "Take me home, please. I'm not well."
"Yes, of course, Miss Clawthorne," Amity jumped to her feet, blushing and wiping her suddenly sweaty hands on her tunic. Her teacher held out her fine white staff. Amity grasped it reverentially. She had dreamed about being trusted with this beautiful and most personal of her mentor's possessions, but she had never imagined these to be the circumstances. The albino raven on top of the staff shuddered and glared down at Amity, its beady eyes narrowed. Amity froze. There was a disapproving squawk.
"It's alright Sapphire," Miss Clawthorne said. She sounded awfully weak, Amity thought.
"Right," Amity nodded, then flipped the stick horizontal and swung her leg over it. Just like her parents' sticks, nothing strange about this... She shuffled closer to the log to make it easier for Miss Clawthorne to get on board. With a stifled groan, Miss Clawthorne shifted over and sat down sidesaddle. Please don't let me crash land, Amity begged any god that might be listening. "Alright, Sapphire, up please."
With a regal flap of its wings, the raven topped staff rose into the air. To Amity's horror, Miss Clawthorne wobbled as their feet lifted off the ground. She threw an arm out and smacked her teacher rather hard across the back.
"Sorry!" Amity squeaked, mortified. "Maybe uh, sit with a leg each side?" She pointed the front of the stick down.
Lilith was terribly embarrassed, but agreed; she was not in a condition to worry about style right now. She shuffled around awkwardly, wincing as she had to bend down and bunch up the skirt of her dress. As they rose into the air for the second time, they reached the top of the trees before things got wobbly again. There was a moment of panic as a strong gust of wind made the stick yaw wildly. Lilith shifted her grip instinctively, her arms ending up gripping the stick around Amity's slender frame.
"I'm terribly sorry," Miss Clawthorne said, sounding exhausted.
"It's fine!" Amity all but squealed, uncomfortable and somehow delighted at the same time. "This - this is probably s-safer! Which, uh, which way do I go?"
"South west," Lilith had to close her eyes. It was too bright up here. The sun had almost set completely. Soon they would be flying in darkness. Which would be better for her, but worse for Miss Blight.
"Right," Amity shook her head and turned the stick about ninety degrees to the left. "Let's go!" She gasped as the staff shot forward - this was a lot faster than any of her parents' staves! Such a magnificent instrument!
They flew on in silence for almost ten minutes before darkness fell completely. The stars provided a little light, but Amity slowed down to wait for moon rise. Its ghostly light soon enveloped them, and Amity dared to speed up a tad. She looked at the shimmering stars, steering toward The Huntsman constellation. She was concentrating hard on keeping the staff steady, constantly wary of any change in her teacher's breathing. There was a nasty wind blowing from the east, which made things more difficult.
A few minutes further along Amity's face was covered in sweat. It was getting harder and harder to keep the stick steady. She kept getting blown off course. A very unwelcome sound came from above and behind; a roll of thunder.
"Are we getting close?!" Amity shouted over the wind.
Miss Clawthorne leaned to one side; the lights of Bonesborough were directly ahead. The thunder rolled again.
"We should land!" Miss Clawthorne said hoarsely.
Oh no, Amity thought in a panic. I can't do this, I can't do this, I've got to do this, I've got to do this, don't crash, don't crash, don't crash!
There was a light much closer - a little house tucked away by a cliff!
"There's a house!" Amity pointed down, then felt Miss Clawthorne nod against her shoulder. She pointed the stick down, trying desperately to keep it steady. Maybe it was one of those inns she'd heard her older siblings talk about; the ones where unsavory characters played dice and cards. Mercenaries and cut-purses and rogue demons. But she would rather rub elbows with thieves than be burnt to a crisp by lightning, or boiled alive by rain.
Steady, steady, Amity thought as they approached the ground. You're further up than you think, wait for the ground to actually touch your feet before anything else, steady, steady, breathe, don't panic!
Amity's boots touched the ground and she let out a triumphant "Hah!" before remembering the seriousness of the situation. She hoped her outburst had been lost in the wind. She got off the stick quickly, then turned to help Miss Clawthorne. Thunder rolled again and lightning flashed across the sky. Together they hurried toward the house. Thankfully it had a generous awning above the entrance. Amity pounded on the door.
"Hello!" she shouted over the wind.
"Hoot, hoot!" the ornate owl carving on the door opened its eyes and peered down at them. "Hello! I'm Hooty! Who are you guys?"
"Uh, I'm Amity and - " but the enchanted creature didn't wait for her to finish.
"We've got company!" it screeched, flicking the lights on and off over their heads. "They look kind of raggedy!"
"Excuse me!" Amity huffed, affronted. Awkward silence fell for a few moments.
"So, how are you?" Hooty asked brightly, as if they had known each other for years. Before either Amity or Miss Clawthorne could answer, the door opened.
"Yeah?" a small, skull wearing demon looked up at them. It was holding a pink bunny rabbit in its little arms.
"Sorry to bother you, but there's a storm coming, can we come in?" Amity asked, wondering where she recognized the creature in front of her from.
"Uh, aren't you that Enmity girl?" the demon squinted up at Amity.
"King! You're letting in a draft!" Luz said as she stepped into view. "Why are you - oh."
"Luz?!"
"Amity?!"
"No, her name is Enmity," the demon apparently named King said, rolling his eyes.
"This is kind of late to be dropping off a book?" Luz said uncertainly.
"What? No, I - that's not - can we just come in please?!"
"Oh, sure, yeah, come in, oh and uh... hello miss... Leila?"
"Her name is Lilith!" Amity snapped indignantly. "I mean, Miss Clawthorne!"
"Right, right, right," Luz stepped aside, shaking her head.
Amity led Miss Clawthorne inside and helped her sit on the atrocious couch at the back of the cluttered room. Luz closed the door behind them.
"Eda!" she shouted. "We've got, uh, guests?!"
"What!" came from upstairs. "Is it that Snazzleclack guy again?!"
"Snaggleback!" King interjected. He scampered off, looking insulted.
"No, uh, iiiiit's... your sisterrr? Aaand Amity?" Luz called in an uncertain, sing song voice.
"Could you please... stop shouting?" Miss Clawthorne groaned from the couch.
"Oh, sorry, sorry," Luz smiled and shrugged. "Is she alright? Did something happen?"
"She's... not well," Amity said, sounding worried now instead of angry. Luz's eyebrows drew together.
"I'll go get Eda," she said in a more serious voice, then turned and ran up the stairs. The thunder rolled again and a heavy rain began to fall.
"Thank goodness made it somewhere safe," Amity muttered, leaning the staff against the couch next to her teacher. She couldn't decide if she preferred this to an inn full of miscreants. This was a house full of miscreants. Were they safe? Amity knew Luz would want to help, but what about Miss Clawthorne's sister? Miss Clawthorne was looking paler than usual, and her eyes were shut. Her expression was closed and tight, as if she was in a lot of pain. Amity sat down next to her, frantically wishing she knew how to make soup.
The sound of arguing preceded Edalyn Clawthorne and Luz coming down the stairs.
"Holy banana bread, it is my sister," Eda said, stopping halfway down the stairs.
"I told you," Luz said, looking at the older witch with frustration in her eyes.
"We're not here to cause trouble", Amity said quickly. "Do you have soup? She's ill, or something. I was trying to take her home, but then the storm hit."
"Soup?" Eda gave Amity a confused, sharp look, then stomped down the stairs, wearing what looked like bunny slippers. She strode over to the couch, then stopped, her hands opening and closing.
"Lilith?" she said uncertainly. Amity turned to watch her teacher. Luz came up behind Eda.
"Don't shout," Lilith mumbled. She moved her head slightly and grimaced. Eda rolled her lips over her teeth, then took a step forward and put her hand against her sister's forehead.
"She's burning up," she stated, glaring at Amity. "Just what have you two been doing?"
"We were at the First Emperor's ceremony - " Amity began, feeling put on the spot.
"Oh, that," Eda rolled her eyes. "She did the opening, did she?"
"Yes," Amity nodded.
"And then?"
"She was unsteady? I helped her away from the crowd, and she threw up, and she asked me to take her home and - "
"And then the storm, yeah, got it," Eda waved her hand dismissively, then put her fingers on Lilith's wrist. She frowned as Lilith grimaced again. "You two, bring me the box on top of the cupboard with the wonky door. The purple wonky door, not the green one."
"Right, sure," Luz nodded and stepped away. "Amity, come on!"
"I'd rather stay here - " Amity protested, feeling extremely unwilling to leave her mentor alone with her unstable, criminal sister.
"Go," Eda snapped her fingers dismissively, not looking at her.
Frowning, Amity got to her feet and slunk away. There was a definite air of kicked puppy about the girl, but Eda had less than a thimblefull of patience for a spoiled, blue blood brat like that one.
Once the girls had left the room, Eda sat down next to her sister.
"Lily?" she said in a much softer voice. She put her hand on Lilith's arm, just above her elbow.
"You body swapped me with a dog," Lilith groaned, yanking her arm out of her sister's grip.
"Yeah, I did," Eda smirked. "Obviously, you got better, so that's not what's wrong with you now, so... what is going on here, exactly?"
"Just... a little under the weather," Lilith said evasively.
"Obvious lie, next," Eda countered.
Lilith remained quiet. The pain right now was overwhelming. It was hard to think straight, let alone hold a conversation.
"Hey," Eda poked Lilith's shoulder, frowning. "I can't help if - " she paused as Lilith recoiled from the touch. " - I don't know... what's wrong," Eda looked her up and down, concern etched in the lines of her face.
"I couldn't take... Orcilae this morning," Lilith raised a hand to rub the place Eda had poked.
Eda's eyebrows raised. "Orcilae?" her eyes searched her sister's face. "That's a little... extreme for you, isn't it?" She paused a moment, noticing the hand across Lilith's belly. "Cramps? Have they really gotten that bad?"
Lilith made a pained grunt and shook her head. "It's... mid-moon time."
"Oh, okay." Eda knew mid-moon time could be painful, but painful enough to need Orcilae potion? "Is this... normal for you?"
"Not exactly," Lilith tried to sit up, but it only made her head spin. "I would have stayed at home, but... the ceremony," she trailed off.
Eda huffed and rolled her eyes, but looked at Lilith with concern. "You've given yourself a fever, you knucklehead. You need to, I don't know, not do stupid things like invoke ancient magics when you're already not feeling at the top of your game."
"Bah... look who's talking," Lilith managed a derisive huff.
"You've got a point, but that's besides the point," Eda admitted, pointing with both hands first to the right, then to the left. "Now you're the one in deep doodoo. What if that brat of yours hadn't been there, huh? You would have been caught out in a storm, in the middle of the dang forest, just because - "
"Just because I don't shirk my duties because of a little discomfort - "
"You call this a little discomfort? You're not even able to keep your eyes open."
Lilith felt the anger rise and managed to glare at her sister. To her surprise, Eda leaned in and looked at her closely.
"You haven't been eating today, have you?" she stated in an accusatory way.
"Not really, no."
Eda bit her lip, her eyes narrowing. "Cast a spell."
"What."
"You heard me. Cast a spell. Any spell."
Lilith raised a hand and drew a feeble circle that fizzled out instantly.
"I knew it! You've only gone and drained yourself! What were you thinking?" Eda threw up her hands, sounding incredulous. "There's one thing that prissy school managed to drill into my head; 'never drain yourself of magical bile, if you do, you're in denial about what an incredible fool you've been'. And that's the kid friendly version."
Could that be true? It hadn't struck Lilith that she could even do that anymore. It had happened a lot when she was younger, but now her reserves were... substantial. She tried drawing another spell circle and felt the tell-tale incompleteness in her mind. This, on top of everything else...
A witch that pushed herself too far, who used up all her magical bile, couldn't cast spells for a few days, or even weeks. And if she kept doing it over and over, it could have serious permanent consequences.
"Drained..." Lilith groaned, grimacing worse than before. The hard pain in her face and neck made it more difficult to speak, so it sounded more like 'rain'. The leader of the Emperor's Coven should not go and drain herself. What a shameful, childish thing to do. She should be better than this. She was better than this. She wouldn't have been in this situation at all if it wasn't for the pain, and she wouldn't be in pain if she knew how to make a proper Orcilae potion - who was she kidding, this was all her own fault.
Eda watched the expression on her sister's face go from closed and stubborn to... close to tears. And suddenly, it wasn't the adult Lilith sitting next her; it was a six year old Lily, so excited to have found her magical ability, that she'd gone and drained herself. And then it was the twelve year old Lily, draining herself over entrance exams. And then the fourteen year old Lily, draining herself over end of year tests.
"You always do this," Eda said quietly. "You push yourself too hard. You'll do yourself a serious injury. You... might already have." Her words didn't have any hint of accusation, but they cut Lilith to her core.
"Is that why I'm in pain, ah-all the time?" Lilith panted weakly. She hadn't meant to say that aloud. Her mind spun away. Had she done this to herself? Had she known all along, but never wanted to admit it to herself? Oh, say it wasn't so, say it wasn't so...
A tear slid down Lilith's cheek. It took the perfect charcoal wing with it, leaving a dark line on her skin.
"Are you in pain, all the time?" Eda asked, her voice uncharacteristically quiet; as if she didn't want to know the answer. Lilith nodded faintly. "Pain like this, like now?"
"No, it's not usually this... excruciating."
Eda nodded, trying to think through the worry that gnawed at her solar plexus. Eda herself dealt with a lot of physical pain, but... that was because of the curse, right?
"Would... taking a warm bath help?" Eda asked carefully.
"Yes," Lilith breathed. How she wished she was at home, in her beautiful tub, with her wonderful oils... She was so tired.
"Right," Eda said. "Then let's get you one. And some Orcilae potion. To start off with."
Eda got to her feet, meaning to go get her potions kit, when she looked up to see the two girls standing at the top of the stairs. Luz had the potions kit in her arms and looked confused and concerned, but the brat behind her had her hands over her own mouth - she looked terrified. How long had they stood there? How much had they heard? It didn't matter to Eda that her and Lilith's conversation had been overheard, but to Lilith... There was no time to worry about Lilith's pride right now. Pride was what had put her in this situation in the first place, Eda thought angrily. She walked briskly up the stairs.
"Give me that," she said to Luz, nodding at the wooden box in her arms. "Go make up the beds in the guest room." Luz handed over the box.
"We have a guest room?" the girl asked in a whisper.
"Yeah, it's the one with the pink ocelot monkey painting."
"Oh, okay. I think that one has... spiders, though. A lot of spiders."
Eda gave Luz a look.
"Go and find somewhere for these two to sleep, I don't care where. Now."
Luz nodded, then grabbed Amity by the arm.
"I think there are a few spare mattresses in King's room," Luz said reassuringly as they walked down the corridor. Lilith's top brat looked miserable. Eda didn't have time to care about it. Instead she headed back down the stairs. She sat down in the couch and rummaged through the potion box. She found a tiny, blue-green bottle and breathed a sigh of relief.
"Here, open wide," Eda said, pulling out the stopper with a small pop. A heavy, cloying scent spread in the room. Lilith opened her mouth slightly and Eda let one drop fall into it. "Now, let's get you that bath. Hands across your chest."
Eda drew a spell circle and Lilith felt herself rise gently off the couch. When the pressure disappeared from her hips, Lilith felt a surge of agony that was quickly followed by relief at the change in posture. She tried to breathe steadily, wishing the potion's effects were instantaneous. She rubbed the tip of her tongue across the roof of her mouth and gums to get it into her bloodstream quicker. She could hear her sister's steps as she drifted through the air. She was so far out of her comfort zone, but at least nobody else was there to witness her shame.
They made it to the bathroom. Eda turned on the tap to fill the tub with hot water. Then came the problem of getting Lilith into it.
Lilith had always been a private person, preferring to use one of the shower stalls with doors in the school changing rooms. Eda hadn't cared about being naked among people.
"Lily, I'm... going to have to undress you now," Eda said stiffly.
Lilith managed to open her eyes a slit. The light stung, but she caught the worried and uncomfortable expression on her sister's face. Seemed neither of them were particularly fond of the idea, but needs must. She nodded and tried to steel herself for the coming pain.
Eda found herself tearing up at the groans and hisses that escaped Lily from time to time. It was heartbreaking to hear her sister in such agony. It was worse that there was nothing visible to treat. It would somehow have made Eda feel better, if there had been bruises or cuts. If there had been physical signs, she would have known where not to touch. When Eda had to remove the final layer of garments, she had to touch Lilith's hips - Lilith had made such a desperate, pitiful sound then - it had hurt Eda terribly, somewhere deep inside.
The moment Lilith's body was submerged in the water, she made another sound, but this time, it filled Eda with a profound relief. She had to sit down with her back against the wall of the tub. Lilith's ragged breathing steadied quickly and Eda let herself relax.
Eda herself had had days where even the slightest touch was excruciating. But she had always attributed it to the curse. Was Lilith cursed too? That couldn't be true. Maybe it was something else? Something that... ran in their family? A family curse. Great. Two curses, one body, Eda thought.
Lilith lay in the water, exhausted. She felt the Orcilae spreading through her body with every beat of her heart. It was... bliss, to not be in pain. She didn't want to think. She didn't want to move. She wanted this moment of peace to go on forever.
Amity followed Luz down the corridor. Luz kept talking in a forcibly bright way, but Amity couldn't really hear her; she was too worried. She was given a sheet. There was a mattress. She put the sheet on the mattress. Now she had a pillowcase. There was a pillow. She put the pillow in the pillowcase.
She blinked.
"Amity? Can you hear me?"
Amity looked up and met Luz's worried eyes.
"Huh?" she said, feeling confused.
"I asked, are you hungry? You said something about soup earlier?"
"Soup?"
"Yeah? I can make some soup. There's even some bread left from this morning." Luz's voice was kind and gentle.
"My... mother always makes soup when I'm sick," Amity said, wrinkling her eyebrows. Things were coming back to her now. "That's... what you're supposed to do, right? Make people soup?"
Luz smiled at her and nodded; Amity could see tears in her eyes.
"My mom makes soup for me too, when I'm sick," Luz wiped her cheeks. "Come on, let's go to the kitchen." Amity followed her out of the room.
As they were walking through the strange and messy house they passed by a door that had several wooden signs on it. Amity stopped at the sound of a voice. Amity couldn't make out any words. She shook her head; she shouldn't be eavesdropping, even if she was worried about her mentor. She was just about to follow Luz when an emotional brick crashed through the window pane of her heart. From behind the door came a brief, heartbreaking whimper of pain. It lashed at her so intensely that it made her want to bolt down the corridor. She instantly wished she hadn't heard it. That she hadn't stopped, why had she stopped - terror was creeping up her throat like a squirrel scurrying up a tree. She had to force herself to move.
Down in the kitchen, Luz noticed that Amity was getting distracted again. She knew she was worried about Lilith. That was fine, it was understandable. It was just that... when Luz had imagined Amity coming over to hang out, things hadn't been... like this. There had been a lot more laughing and joking around, in Luz's imagination. It was very sweet of Amity to want to make her teacher soup, though. Luz had given Amity the task of peeling the vegetables - knives and distraction was a bad combination. Once Amity was out of vegetables to peel, she started doing the mound of dishes that King had let pile up all day.
"You don't have to do that!" Luz said in surprise.
"I feel better having something to do with my hands," Amity mumbled.
As Luz cooked, Amity washed and dried the dishes, wiped down all the surfaces and swept the floor. A pleasant, spicy smell filled the kitchen.
"Does it need more salt?" Luz asked, holding out a little spoon of soup. Amity was surprised to be asked. Luz dipped a teaspoon into the simmering pot for herself and had a taste. Amity took the proffered spoon and blew on it before putting it in her mouth. Her eyes went wide. "Oh, no, is it too spicy?"
Amity swallowed, then turned the spoon over in her mouth to get the residual soup off the back of it.
"No. It's... just really good." Amity said quietly.
Luz beamed at her.
How can she be so... bubbly all the time? Amity thought as she licked the spoon. She realized what she was doing and quickly yanked it out of her mouth. Luz gave her a kind of confused look, then smiled again.
"There's bread in the cupboard behind you," Luz indicated with a nod of her head. Amity turned on the spot, thankful for something to do. "I... don't know how long they'll be upstairs, so... we might as well eat while it's warm. Or, what do you think?"
Amity hesitated as she reached for the half finished loaf.
She was terribly hungry, but the memory of that... whimper from behind the door upstairs made her feel slightly nauseated. It would be rude to refuse an offer of food, especially since Amity was the one who had suggested making it in the first place. Luz hadn't had a reason to cook at all, she had just... started to and now... The soup had been so tasty.
"There's plenty for all five of us. Might be enough for tomorrow's dinner too," Luz said in a gentle way.
"Let's eat," Amity grabbed the bread.
They grabbed bowls and cutlery, then sat down at the table. Luz poured herself a large bowl and began to dip her bread. Amity was used to everyone getting food on their plate before you were allowed to start eating, but that evidently wasn't how things were done in this house. She made herself a bowl of the fragrant soup and pulled it toward her. The first spoonful was delicious. She wondered what that soft orange thing was, and how it could be both sweet and savory at the same time - and what was that spice that rode the tail end of the smooth, buttery broth? A giggle interrupted her train of thought.
"Was it really that good?" Luz asked through a mouthful of bread.
"Uh, yes," Amity said, feeling flustered. Her cheeks burned. And she didn't even have to use a recipe.
"Your eyes have gone all dreamy," Luz giggled again, then continued to eat. She looked... happy.
Amity ate slowly, savoring every mouthful. It was... surprisingly easy to eat with Luz. There were silences, but they weren't uncomfortable, like at dinner at home. They actually chatted a bit, too. Things really got going when Luz asked about Amity's thoughts on book five of the Good Witch Azura series. Amity had finished it over the weekend, reading long into the night. She was very glad for the distraction.
They stopped talking when they heard steps from above. Luz saw the smile drain off her new friend's face. Thunder rolled ominously overhead.
"Do you... want to go check on them?" Luz asked tentatively.
Amity shook her head. Luz thought she looked... scared?
"I'm sure Miss Clawthorne would summon me if... she needed me," Amity said in a quiet voice.
"She's going to be fine. Eda knows what she's doing."
Amity remained silent, looking down at the dregs of soup in her bowl.
"Have you ever... drained yourself?" Luz asked, trying to sound nonchalant. She was terribly curious.
"Once," Amity responded. "When I was very young."
"What was it like?" Luz leaned forward, eager to hear more.
"Awful," Amity grimaced at the memory. "I fainted. Was home sick for a week."
"Cool..."
Amity gave her a confused look.
"I don't mean cool as in, like, uh, awesome, you fainted!" Luz said quickly. "I mean cool as in, like how a broken leg is cool?"
Now Amity frowned.
"I just think it's interesting! How people work, you know, organs and stuff, it's - " Luz drew in a breath. "Cool. And it's even more fascinating to learn about how witches work. I know some things are the same, like lungs and digestive systems and both humans and witches have periods, and - "
"They have what?"
Luz hesitated. "Oh, that's right, you call it, what was it, uh - oh! Moon time. It's such a pretty name."
Amity's eyes went wide and her face flushed.
"Uh, it's like, fine to talk about or whatever," Luz shrugged and rolled her eyes, blushing as well. "Or not, if that's... how you roll." She felt a pang of disappointment. She had hoped that she and Amity could talk about things like that. Like the girls in the movies did, sometimes. Not that the subject was brought up very often in movies. But it was like, a whole thing. Like, girl talk. It was alright, but still kind of awkward, to talk to Eda about it - if Luz could talk about it with someone her own age... That would tick several boxes on her internal friendship bucket list. And they could talk about crushes. And, like, paint each others' nails and have sleepovers. Willow was already her friend and Luz wanted to talk with her about all that stuff too, but... she really wanted to talk about everything with Amity. All this flashed past in less than a second. "Anywa-a-a-y-y, so this magic bile thing, yeah, really cool."
"Uh, yeah, I... I guess," Amity smiled uncomfortably. Sometimes Luz would just say the weirdest things. But that was kind of... endearing, in a way. Amity was tired of knowing what the people around her were going to say all the time. Luz was unpredictable. Not boring. "It's... cool that you can cast magic even without essentia magicae - that's the proper name for it."
"Essentia magicae," Luz repeated, eyes widening. "How does - "
Someone was coming down the stairs. Both Luz and Amity looked up.
"Something smells good," Eda said as she slouched into the kitchen. Her skirt was wet and her hair was frizzy.
"How's Miss Clawth - I mean, your si - " Amity shook her head, she didn't know how to address her mentor to her mentor's criminal sister.
"She's alive," Eda made a complicated grimace (something like an approving sneer) as she opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of apple blood. She pulled out the cork, shut the door with her hip, then took a long swig. "Oh, yeah, that's what mama needed," she sighed and leaned against the sink. She glanced around the kitchen, her eyes narrowing. "Why is it so clean in here?"
"We cleaned! And made soup," Luz piped up. "Well, Amity cleaned."
"Luz made the soup. It's good."
"The one with lumpkin?"
"Pumpkin."
"I like that one," Eda downed the rest of the bottle. "Save me some, would ya?"
"I made enough for everyone. Do you think your sister would like some?" Luz glanced at Amity's tight face.
"Maybe later," Eda looked up to the ceiling and then away. Suddenly she looked very tired. Lightning flashed through the kitchen window.
"But... she's going to be alright, right?" Amity asked with an inquiring nod, obviously wanting the answer to be yes.
Eda looked at Amity, long and hard. Couldn't the kid get the hint? Just the sight of the brat made Eda want to spit. Was that... Was that a freaking star shaped pin saying 'top student' on the brat's chest? She put the bottle down and turned to leave before she said something she'd regret.
Amity's face flushed as Eda turned away from her without answering.
"Hey!" Luz's chair scraped against the floor as she shot up. "She asked you a question!"
"I told you she's alive, what more do you want?" Eda snapped.
"How about some manners? She probably saved your sister's life tonight!" Luz glared at Eda, her face full of indignation. Amity however, stared up at Luz, stunned.
Eda rolled her lips over her teeth, looking furious. Luz folded her arms and leaned over on her hip. After a few tense seconds, Eda made the mother of all eyerolls and let out a frustrated groan worthy of Basha.
"Thank you for bringing her here, you totally saved her life, she'll be fine, yada, yada," Eda waved her hand, sneering her way through it as quickly as she could. "Happy?"
"So happy!" Luz narrowed her eyes and nodded sarcastically. They glared at each other. After a few seconds, the corner of Eda's mouth twitched upwards and she broke the staring contest, throwing her hands up. The tension in the air dissipated instantly.
"I'll be wanting that soup later, kid."
"I'll put a bowl for you on the counter."
Amity was amazed. She looked from Luz, who's stance was relaxed now, to Eda's bunny-clad heels disappearing up the stairs, then back to Luz again.
"Sorry about that, she's not a people person," Luz smiled at Amity in apologetic kind of way.
"Heard that!" Eda called from the stairs.
"You know it's tru-u-e," Luz sang back.
"That's not the po-oint," Eda responded in the same sing-song kind of way.
"I don't know about you, but I could use a cup of cocoa," Luz said with a sigh, her hands on her hips. Amity blinked up at her, then nodded slowly.
"Diiiid somebody say... hot cocoa?" King appeared from behind the door to the scullery. "I want marshmallows!"
"You're a marshmallow!" Luz picked King up and spun him around. The little demon made a "Weh!" of protest at first, then threw out his arms and went "Wee!".
Amity shook her head, not believing her own eyes, or her own ears. Luz had just stood up to her own mentor, or whatever to call her, for the sake of Amity, and then they had argued, sort of, and then... it had been resolved? With the adult, kind of... admitting fault? And, albeit begrudgingly, saying thank you? Amity didn't know adults could even do that. Was that even allowed?
"Do you want marshmallows in your cocoa?" Luz asked from the fridge. She was carrying King on her hip now and holding a bottle of milk. She looked so comfortable like that. So... mature.
"I don't know, what are they?"
"Girl," King said, turning his head to give her a sassy look. "We're about to blow your freaking mind."
Eda headed up the stairs, running her hands through her hair. What had she gone downstairs for again? An apple blood pick me up. The kid and the brat were okay, that was good too. Darn it, she loved that kid. Such sass. She'd do fine in the prissy school, she wouldn't become a brainwashed rule-worshipping dip stick. Speaking of rule-worshipping dip sticks... She was supposed to bring Lilith something to wear. She ducked into a room marked 'Warning: Toxic'. She rummaged around in some boxes before she found what she was looking for.
"Oh, she's going to hate this," she snickered, wrinkling her nose.
"Coming in," Eda announced before pulling open the door to the steamy bathroom.
"Loud," Lilith groaned from the bathtub.
"Ready to come out? You must have more wrinkles than two grannies by now."
"How are we related," Lilith muttered darkly.
"There she is," Eda yanked the shower curtain to one side and gave her younger sister a sarcastic, self-satisfied smirk. Lilith gave her a tired look in return. "Feeling better?"
"Marginally."
"Thaaat's the spirit."
Eda helped Lilith out of the tub and wrapped her in a towel before depositing her on the low stool King used to reach the toilet. Lilith sagged against the wall with a grunt.
"Still kinda floppy, aren't you," Eda commented as she took out a clean towel to dry her sister's hair.
"Yeowch!" Lilith cried out as Eda began to dry it. Eda stopped, took a breath, then continued in a gentler way.
"Sorry, you're floppy and fragile, I'm strong and amazing, it's a bad mix."
"Fmmmtthh-pt-thwwp," Lilith growled.
"Kiss the Emperor's butt with that mouth? Sheesh."
After a lot of swearing and (more or less) good-natured bickering, Lilith was dried and dressed. She could stand on her own two feet now, but she needed help to do anything more than that.
"The kid made soup," Eda said as she walked backwards out through the bathroom, leading Lilith along. "You should eat something."
"You have your human cook for you?"
Eda stopped and glared at her sister. "She is not my human, she's her own dang person and she was sweet enough to make soup for everybody - the correct answer is: yes please and thank you."
"Yes please and thank you," Lilith said in a nyeh-nyeh kind of way. Eda snorted appreciatively.
"Will you manage the stairs or should I," Eda whistled two short tones.
"I'll manage," Lilith growled through gritted teeth. She was damned if she was going to let Eda play around with her more than was absolutely necessary. She wouldn't put it past her older sister to 'accidentally' bump her head against the ceiling, even now.
They made their way slowly downstairs to the kitchen. It took much more out of Lilith than she would have liked to admit, and when she finally sank down on a kitchen chair, she could happily have laid her head down on thetable top and slept. A steaming bowl of soup slid into place in front of her, along with a spoon. She reached for the utensil, having to concentrate very hard to grasp it. She managed to raise it up a few inches, then her fingers just gave up. The spoon clattered onto the floor. Lilith blinked, shocked.
There was a tense moment of silence.
"Aaalrighty," Eda cricked her neck, then sat down on the chair next to Lilith. "Let's not mess about, shall we?" She picked up a clean spoon, dipped it into the soup, then held it out. Lilith glared at her with murder in her eyes. "Who would ever believe me?" Eda leaned forward and shook her head, shrugging one shoulder. Lilith held her gaze. Eda rolled her eyes and waved a finger. The doors leading from the kitchen all slammed shut and locked themselves. "All closed, all locked. Now be a good little Lily and open wide. Here comes the griffon."
"Edalyn, I am - " Lilith's eyes were suddenly brimming with tears. "The leader - of the Em-peror's - coven! I - " she dragged in a sharp breath. "Mmade a mmistake - and I'll thank you - to stop - mmaking - fffun! Of me!" Tears trickled down Lilith's pale cheeks and dripped onto the violently pink shirt she was wearing. It read: What, me worry? In giant, neon blue letters. Suddenly it wasn't so funny anymore.
A few tense seconds passed.
"I'm sorry, " Eda said finally. "I am, okay? It's how I deal with stressful situations; being hilarious. It's a defense mechanism." She held up a hand in surrender.
Lilith sniffed, trying to get herself under control.
"Apology accep-ted," she said shakily. She took a breath, closed her eyes, then looked meaningfully at the spoon. Eda moved it closer to Lilith's lips. There was a dainty slurp. Lilith's eyebrows rose.
"Good, isn't it?" Eda smiled.
It was slow going and awkward, but together they managed to put more soup inside Lilith than ended up in her lap. When the bowl was empty, the youngest Clawthorne sister had regained some color in her cheeks.
"Here, something for you to sleep in," Luz handed Amity some folded clothes. "It's a really big shirt, so basically a nightie."
"Thank you," Amity took the proffered garment, smiled at Luz, then turned her back and started to change. When she was redressed in the very large shirt, she turned around, looked at Luz, then quickly turned around again, her cheeks burning. "Sorry! I thought you were done changing!"
"What? I am. These are my pyjamas," Luz giggled. "I don't like to be too warm at night, makes me have weird dreams."
Amity turned around slowly, keeping her eyes looking down. Luz was not wearing a lot of clothes. The text on her borrowed shirt caught her attention. She grabbed at it and turned her head to read it.
"'Bad girl coven'?!" It even had a picture of Eda on it. She was wearing some kind of ludicrous hat.
"It's a joke. Or, well, I think it's supposed to be a joke," Luz smiled.
"Covens aren't jokes," Amity said, frowning down at the picture.
"I know!" Luz said quickly.
"My parents would freak if they saw me in something like this." Amity trailed off, smoothing down the fabric over her thighs. It was very soft to the touch, though.
"It'll be our little secret," Luz gave her a wink, then bent down to fluff her pillow before flopping down with a contented sigh. Amity sat down on her mattress, looking thoughtful. "Want more pillows?"
"What? No. It's fine. It's just... it feels weird, not sleeping in my own bed. And... I usually have a glass of warm milk before bed."
"Oh? I think we have milk," Luz sat up again. "Let's go make some."
"I don't want to be any trouble - " Amity blushed.
"It's fine, it's fine!" Luz waved her hands and smiled. "Warm milk sounds good. I think there's honey, too."
"I've never had it with honey."
"It's so good, come on!" Luz bounced up and headed toward the door. Amity smiled, then followed. When they arrived at the kitchen, the door was closed.
"That's weird, I've never seen this door closed," Luz said, reaching out for the handle. Before she could turn it, someone spoke from behind it.
"When did the pain start?" It was Eda's voice. Luz froze, then quickly looked over her shoulder at Amity.
"Years ago. I'm not sure when exactly." That was Lilith. A look of fear appeared on Amity's face.
"It didn't start off so bad, but it steadily got worse, didn't it." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. Luz frowned. That sounded almost as if -
"That's... correct." Lilith sounded suspicious.
"And it gets more intense around mid-moon and moon time." Eda spoke fast, as if she wanted to just get it over with. "Or after a big day. Or just... big things happening, both good and bad."
There was a pause, then a sigh. Luz couldn't tell who made it.
"And sometimes... it feels like there's a layer of nasty little gritty things under your skin. Sometimes it feels like your entire body is covered in bruises, even though it isn't."
"Yes." Lilith's voice was more quiet now. Luz's heart was beating fast. This was scaring her. She looked over at Amity again - Amity had gone very pale. Luz reached out and took her hand. Amity blinked.
"And it's not always the same kind of pain, and it's not always in the same place, but it's always there, somewhere, being... annoying."
"Eda, what - "
"Cold weather makes it worse in one way, hot and humid weather makes it worse in a different way. The worst combination is - "
"Cold and humid weather," Lilith finished for her. "Eda, what is this?"
"I thought... it was because of the curse." Luz squeezed Amity's hand. "But you're not cursed. So... I don't know. But it seems like... we've both got it. Whatever it is." Now Amity squeezed back.
There was a pause.
"So I didn't bring this on myself," Lilith said slowly. "By draining myself too many times."
"I may... have been a little harsh back there. You absolutely did drain yourself today, but no, the pain isn't because of that, or not all of it at least."
"I thought it... might be something that happened as you got older," Lilith sounded unsure.
"Have you told anyone?"
Lilith let out a hoarse breath of laughter. "No. They'd throw me in the Confirmatorium!" Luz felt Amity start to tremble. "Constantly moving pain," Lilith continued in a dark mutter. "They'd think I'd gone insane. Even if they would somehow take me seriously, I severely doubt they'd keep me as the leader of the Emperor's Coven."
"Think you're right there," Eda agreed reluctantly. There was a little pause, then Eda continued: "I'm not going to tell anyone, Lily."
"Forgive me if I don't take you at your word," Lilith's voice was frigid.
"Is this about the time I told that Valderson boy you had a crush on him?"
"You gave me your word you wouldn't tell a soul!"
"But this is serious, Lily!" Amity twitched.
"So were my feelings for Ignus!"
Another pause.
"That wasn't very sisterly of me, was it?" Eda said.
"It's not the only time you broke your word." Lilith sounded bitter.
There was a very long pause now. The clock in the living room began to toll, making both Luz and Amity jump. It was eleven o'clock.
"You're right," Eda said, sounding tired and defeated. "Let's just... go to bed."
Luz and Amity looked at each other, then hurried away from the door. They reached the top of the stairs before the door creaked open. Luz pulled Amity into a room, then turned to peek out at the landing. Eda came slowly up the stairs walking backwards. She was leading a pale, exhausted looking Lilith with both hands. Luz heard Amity inhale sharply. Neither of them had seen Lilith since they left her in the living room earlier that evening.
The sisters slowly made their way past the girls, moving down the corridor toward Eda's room. Luz waited for the creak of Eda's door, then let out a long breath. She looked at Amity. She was staring off into the distance again. Just like she had done earlier.
"Come on," Luz whispered. They went into the kitchen. If Luz hadn't needed warm milk before, she certainly felt the need for it now. They brought their drinks with them upstairs. Amity hadn't said a single word.
Luz sat down on her sleeping bag and took a sip of milk. It was so warm and reassuring... She let out a long sigh and felt her tense shoulders relax slightly.
"She could barely walk," Amity said, sounding as if she didn't believe it.
Luz looked at her, then down at her drink.
"Yeah," she agreed. "That was... scary."
Amity nodded. There were so many things whirling around in her mind. She felt worried and scared. She wanted to do something, but what could she do? Her mentor hadn't just drained herself, she was... Amity didn't know what to call it. She could never have imagined her mentor could be this... vulnerable. She was Lilith, leader of the Emperor's Coven, a powerful witch - the most powerful witch in the Boiling Isles... Wasn't she? Amity shivered.
"My mom's a nurse," Luz said with a wrinkle between her eyebrows. "She doesn't really tell me about her job, but I hear her talking to my aunt on the phone sometimes. People... live with all sorts of health problems." Amity looked up at Luz.
"She said she was in pain, all the time. Do you really think she meant... all the time, all the time, or..."
"I don't know," Luz said, her shoulders lowering with a sigh.
Amity looked down at her own hands. She couldn't imagine being in pain all the time. Every day. She got headaches sometimes after studying too hard, or if she hadn't slept very well. And she had cramps for the first few days of her moon time; they could be pretty terrible. Was that the level of pain Lilith had to deal with every day?
Something Eda had said downstairs kept coming back to Luz. About how the pain moved around and changed. She brought out her phone and started typing that and the other symptoms she could remember into Google. Her mom had told her that people could drive themselves crazy looking up symptoms online - what Luz really wanted to do was to call her mom and ask, but she couldn't do that without revealing she wasn't at the summer camp. She clicked the first available link and read the article. It mentioned all the things Eda had said, and more.
"I found something," Luz said, then started to read aloud. "'Fibromyalgia is a disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues. Symptoms include..." Luz read out the long list.
"But that's for humans," Amity pointed out when Luz had finished reading.
"Well, sounds pretty much like what they described," Luz said, smiling uncertainly. "Witches and humans aren't that different." Amity looked at her with a doubtful expression.
"Even if that's what it is... How does that help? It said there was no cure."
"Maybe there is for witches?" Luz suggested hopefully. "And even if there isn't a cure, then... it's much better to have a name for something like that. And you could like, find other people with the same condition. And talk about it. That makes people feel better, being able to talk to someone who's been through the same thing. Someone who... understands."
Amity thought about it a moment, then nodded.
"I think I understand what you mean."
Luz smiled.
"Just... how do we tell them about this, without them finding out we overheard them?"
"I don't think we can avoid that," Luz shrugged, her smile remaining, though it had a hint of sadness in it now.
"Yeah, you're... right." She thought about how Luz had stood up for her in the kitchen earlier; Luz wasn't afraid to talk to adults. The idea of letting their mentors know they'd been overheard during their very private conversation made Amity feel cold and exposed. She pulled her legs up and into the borrowed shirt.
"But that's a problem for another day," Luz said with a yawn. "There's no point worrying about it now." Amity blinked at her in surprise.
"Wow, wish I could just decide not to worry." She blinked again, realizing she had said that aloud.
"Things... generally work out, one way or the other," Luz said with a shrug and a smile. "Like, we became friends, even though it started off... not very good."
Amity blushed, then picked up her milk to avoid having to looking at Luz for a moment. It had gone cold. Without thinking, she drew a spell circle in the air. A small pink flame appeared next to her glass.
"Whoa..." Luz lay down on her stomach to look at the tiny light. "Amity, that is so cool..."
"You're easily impressed."
"You just created fire from nothing - it's like - " Luz mimed her head exploding. "It blows my mind every time I see someone cast a spell."
Amity's blush deepened, then she smiled. Luz looked spellbound by the little flame. She drank her pleasantly warm milk, then stretched and lay down too.
They chatted for a little while, then decided to try to sleep. It must be almost midnight by now, Amity thought.
A thought appeared in her mind as she lay on the slightly lumpy mattress, looking up into the ceiling. How powerful must Lilith actually be if she was able to deal with all of that pain and she still managed to lead the Emperor's Coven perfectly? Her heart swelled with admiration for her mentor. Lilith wasn't weak! She was... probably the strongest person Amity had ever known. That realization made her feel tons better. She vowed she would do everything she could to keep her mentor's secret. People wouldn't understand, they'd assume it meant she wasn't fit to lead. But she obviously was. The memory of her mentor opening the temple doors swam into her mind. She closed her eyes, a faint smile on her lips.
Eda tried to get comfortable in her nest. She clasped her hands over her ribcage. How long had it been since she and Lily had slept in the same room? Decades, surely.
The events of the evening rolled around in her head. She didn't know how to feel about most of it. Though the thought of the soup brought a smile to her face. She had got to feed Lily when she was a baby, sometimes. The thought of that made her feel both happy and sad. It was from before... Before they grew up. And grew apart.
Usually, Eda tried not to think about her family. Mostly because it made her angry, or, at least, that's what she told herself. What she didn't want to admit was how alienated she had felt, even before the curse. Her entire family had been rule-worshipping dip sticks, so wrapped up in the political nonsense and drama of the Boiling Isles aristocracy that they couldn't see just how mad it all was. She'd rebelled against their iron rule as soon as she was old enough to spit. She just wanted to have fun. Be free. Do the things she liked in the way she liked doing them. Living with her parents, being in that school - it had felt like wearing a straight jacket. She took a deep breath. At least now she could breathe. She closed her eyes.
Lilith stared at the wall. It had crooked paintings, papers and random things stuck to it in a way that made her mind itch. It was so... chaotic. She wished she was in her own house, in her own bed, in her own nightgown. She hadn't been able to do her normal bed time routine. Hadn't brushed her hair, or her teeth. They felt unpleasantly... hairy. She put a finger in her mouth and rubbed away the worst of it.
She could feel the fever creeping back. The Orcilae was still keeping the pain at bay, but she knew it would be back full force in the morning. And then some. She sighed deeply, trying not to think about it.
Think about something else, she told herself. The image of Ignus swam across her mind. Think about something else, else. Ignus appeared again, this time with his shirt off. She sighed again, then indulged in the thought. It was only when her hand started to move toward the waist of her borrowed skirt that she remembered where she was. She sighed a third time, this time out of frustration. Now she would never get to sleep. She shook her head, closed her eyes and curled in on herself. The bed creaked, but it creaked in the completely wrong register. It set her teeth on edge. This is all wrong, she thought. Wrong bed, wrong clothes, wrong creak... To her dismay, she felt the tears start to well up. She tried to blink them away, but fighting them only seemed to make more of them appear. Her eyes and nose burned.
Unbidden, the worst parts of the day replayed in her mind. The susurration of disapproval before the first brazier was lit. Miss Blight lying on the ground. Bending over the tree to throw up. Her spell circles fading, incomplete. The spoon clattering across the floor. Eda telling her they shared this ever present, ever changing pain.
She felt so... helpless.
She covered her nose and mouth to try to muffle the sound of her unsteady breathing. Her nose started to run and she tried to sniff quietly, hoping Eda was asleep.
"Lily?"
Lilith gasped, her shoulders tensing up. There was a grunt, then the rustling of twigs and cloth. Having been overheard made Lilith feel overwhelmed. She shook with the effort to keep some modicum of composure.
Eda sat up in her nest and looked over at Lilith's silhouette. She could see her sister's shoulders shaking. She hesitated. The memory of the bathroom earlier this evening spurred her to action. She walked carefully round the bed and squatted down by her sister's head.
"Lily. What's wrong?"
"I want to go home," Lilith said in a cracked voice.
"Yeah, I hear ya," Eda sighed. "Let me... get you something to help you sleep." It was the only thing she could think of. She got up and shuffled out into the corridor, closing the door behind her. Maybe it was wrong to just leave Lilith alone while she was crying, but it hadn't exactly felt like she wanted company, and with how their last conversation had ended, Eda didn't want to... cause any more upset, so... She rubbed her forehead, then tried to remember where she had put the potions kit. She found it quite quickly, but wanted to give Lily some time to... do her thing, so she went to get a glass of water.
Lilith was relieved when Eda left the room. She allowed herself to cry more openly. She sobbed quietly into the lumpy pillow, her mind awash with anguish. Actually letting go and letting herself cry seemed to ease the storm of emotions, and soon her mind had returned to it's usually calm state. She wiped her cheeks, feeling silly to have cried in front of her sister. Again.
When Eda returned, Lilith was facing the other way.
"Here," she said, holding out two little bottles. "Gram gram's night night drops and Orcilae, if and when you need it."
Lilith took the bottles. Neither of them wanted to look the other in the eye.
"Well, good night, then," Eda muttered, stepping into her nest. There was some rustling, then silence.
"Thank you," Lilith said, her voice hoarse.
"Welcome."
There was a small pop as Lilith uncorked the larger of the two bottles. There was only a little left in it, about one doze worth, Lilith estimated, so she drank it down. She started to feel drowsy within a few minutes.
Eda lay and listened to Lilith's breathing. Soon her breaths slowed and deepened. Eda sighed, then rolled over onto her back. What a day. What. A. Day. She was glad it was finally over.
Lilith and Eda jerked awake at the same time - when the door to the bedroom was wrenched open and King proclaimed;
"WAFFLES!"
"Kiiing!" Eda growled. "What have I told you about mornings?!"
"But - waffles!" the little demon whined.
Eda waved a finger; there was a swoosh, a surprised "WEH!", then the door slammed shut again. She threw the blanket over her face and tried to go back to sleep. There was a grumble from behind her, then she remembered the events of last night. She let out a long groan.
Lilith silently groped for the Orcilae, unstoppered it, put her finger against the opening, turned it upside down, then put her finger in her mouth. She got the stopper back in somehow, then she hid her head under the pillow and tried to go back to sleep. She was wildly unsuccessful. Her body felt as stiff as a board and as if it was full of cold pine cones. Every joint ached. Even her toes. She didn't know which part of her hurt the most. Everything hurt the most.
"Y'allright?" Eda asked, sounding groggy.
Lilith let out a stream of muffled swearwords. Eda was actually impressed.
"I'll take that as a no, then."
Eda managed to fall back asleep, but Lilith remained awake. After what felt like hours, the pain started to dull. She gingerly stretched under her blanket, trying to get the stiffness out of her limbs. She sat up and glared blearily around the room. If she didn't know Edalyn, she'd say that someone had broken in and robbed the place during the night, but since she did know her, Lilith knew that this level of chaos was normal.
How can she live like this, she wondered. She waved her finger to clear a path to the door, but the spell circle fizzled out before she could complete it. She groaned. That was right. She had drained herself. It had been so long since it last happened, she had no idea how long it'd be until she could cast properly again. Hopefully she'd get better before the weekend was over. She got out of bed, her legs wobbling a bit. She held on to the wall and made her way to the door. A red bathrobe hung next to a cloak and some kind of... animal costume. She put the robe on over her bright pink night clothes. Pink was really not her color. She wondered what Eda had done with her actual clothes.
Lilith meandered through the long corridors, looking for the bathroom. Eventually she found it. And her clothes. On the floor. Eda hadn't even bothered to hang them up. She bent down gingerly and picked up her dress, gave it a quick sniff, then immediately dropped it with a disgusted 'Oh god!'. Great. She raised her finger to at least hang everything up so it wouldn't get completely ruined, before she remembered she couldn't. She bent down and gathered everything up, then hung things where she could find space.
She spent five minutes looking for an unused toothbrush, then another five looking for toothpaste. How could anyone live like this? Brushing her teeth felt wonderful, though. She washed her face with soap and water, then looked herself in the mirror. She looked haggard. There were dark circles under her eyes and her hair was a complete mess. She looked for a brush or a comb, but the only one she could find was full of short, black hair - probably belonged to the shrieking demon. Hard pass.
After several wrong turns, Lilith found a staircase leading down. She had passed a few windows on the way. It was still raining hard. She made her way down the stairs, one step at a time. There was a sweet smell in the air that intensified the further down she moved. She could hear people talking from the kitchen. She contemplated turning around and going back upstairs, but her stomach was growling. She had barely eaten anything yesterday. Maybe there was still some of that excellent soup left. She was confident she could feed herself this morning. After all, she had managed to brush her teeth! She tried to straighten her hair, but gave up. She took a breath, then stepped through the door to the kitchen.
"Morning!" the human girl greeted brightly. She stood by the counter, poking something that sizzled. "Want some waffles?"
"G-good morning, Miss Clawthorne!" Miss Blight shot up out of her chair. It crashed to the floor behind her. Miss Blight blushed, then bent to pick it up.
"Ha ha! She got startled!" the little demon sang from a high chair.
"You okay, Amity?" the human inquired.
"F-fine!"
"Good morning, everyone," Lilith said, her voice sliding into teacher mode. She hesitated a moment, then strode over to the table and took a seat next to Miss Blight. Out of everything in this place, Miss Blight was the most familiar.
"Oo-ki-day, guys, here we a-are!" the human came over with a plate piled high with golden brown squares. They seemed to be the source of the sweet smell.
"Gimme gimme!" the demon squeaked excitedly. Luz grabbed a smaller plate and picked one of the square things up (Lilith noticed they had a honey comb pattern) with her fingers, placed it on the plate and put it in front of the demon, then she sat down with a sigh and a broad smile.
"Dig in!"
Lilith watched the human grab two squares for herself. There was cutlery on the table, but she obviously saw no need for them. She upended a bottle over the top square thing, then took a big bite.
"What, you don't like waffles?" she said with her mouth full.
"Never had them," Miss Blight said, still red in the face. "What... are they?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, I keep forgetting your food is so different - they're basically pancakes, but square."
Lilith exchanged a quick glance with Miss Blight.
"Pan-cakes?" Lilith asked politely. The human looked from Lilith to Miss Blight and back again.
"Oh, uh... it's... eggs, flour, milk, sugar and baking powder, you can put syrup or jam or butter on them and... eat them." She took another bite, looking at Lilith and Miss Blight rather intensely. Miss Blight reached out tentatively and speared one on her fork, then brought it to her plate. She cut a little piece off and took a nibble. Her eyebrows shot up and she took a bigger bite. The human beamed and pushed the bottle of what Lilith assumed to be syrup toward Miss Blight. Lilith had to smile, then mimicked her student and took a square thing for herself. It had a crisp outside and a soft and fluffy inside. It was sweet, but not overwhelmingly so.
"This is very good, what did you say they were called?" Lilith inquired after she had swallowed her first bite.
"Waffles!" the demon screeched. "More please!"
"Ah, yes. You... were the one who made the soup last night, yes? It was delicious." Lilith smiled at the human.
"Aw, thank you!" the human said, turning her head to the side. "It was Amity's idea." There was a choking sound from Lilith's right - Miss Blight seemed to be having difficulty with a piece of waffle. "I'm Luz by the way, pleasure to officially meet you."
"Likewise."
"So, do I call you Lily, or...?"
"Luz!" Miss Blight hissed.
Lilith felt her smile harden slightly. "Lilith is fine."
"Alrighty - does anyone want tea? I think it's just about ready."
"I want a banana smoothie with sprinkles!" the demon demanded.
"No smoothies today, King."
"Tea would be welcome," Lilith said. Luz got up and took a teakettle from the stove, then passed out chipped mugs. Lilith ended up with one that read '30 and flirty'. How... quaint.
Luz and King chatted and argued, with occasional input from Miss Blight, while Lilith drank the rather strong tea and worked her way through two more waffles. The more she ate, the more she found she liked them. Lilith could almost pretend she was in class, with this level of noise and activity.
Eda slouched into the kitchen like a grumpy thundercloud, clutching a green hot water bottle to her stomach. She plopped down on a chair with a grunt.
"Good morning?" Luz greeted her with a concerned little smile.
"Yeah, sure, whatever," Eda grumbled. She grabbed a waffle and began to eat it with her eyes closed.
"Actually... there's something Amity and I wanted to talk to you two about," Luz said, sitting up straighter.
"Is this really the time?" Miss Blight hissed, looking uncomfortable.
"Is there ever going to be a right time, though?" Luz countered with a soft smile. Miss Blight swallowed, then nodded. Luz took out a rectangular thing from a pocket. "Here, just... read this." She pushed at the surface of the thing, then handed it to Eda.
Eda blinked, trying to focus on the phone in her hand.
"What's this?" She asked, taking another bite of waffle.
"Please just read it."
"'Fibromyalgia is a disorder characterized by widespread... mus-cu-lo-skeletal... pain accompanied by fatigue - '" Eda stopped reading aloud, but her eyes kept sweeping from side to side.
The words 'musculoskeletal pain' had made Lilith look up. She felt suddenly cold. What was happening? What was that device Eda was reading from? What was she reading?
"Lu-uz," Eda said in a slow, uncharacteristically stern voice. "What is this?"
"So, Amity and I might have accidentally overheard you guys talking last night - " Lilith's stomach went into knots and her jaw seized up. "We got really worried so... I looked some stuff up and... Kind of thought you might want to... know?" Luz rubbed the back of her hand with the other in a nervous sort of way.
Amity was sitting on her hands, looking determinedly at her plate.
"What. Are you talking about?" Lilith inquired through gritted teeth. Her words practically tinkled in the air, they were so cold.
"We didn't mean to?" Miss Blight said, shrinking away from her mentor.
"We came downstairs to make some warm milk before going to bed. The door was closed, then we heard you talking and... we - I - " Luz corrected herself quickly. "Got really... scared by what I heard - didn't mean to eavesdrop, I swear. It just sorta happened? Please don't be mad, we were just trying to... help. We're worried about you."
Silence.
Lilith stared at the wall, pale faced and furious. Inside, she felt terribly ashamed, embarrassed but most of all: exposed. She was furious at Miss Blight. And the human. And at Eda. And at herself. She had put so much time and effort into the relationship with Miss Blight! She might have been able to salvage it, if Miss Blight had only seen her throw up in the forest last night - it might have been alright if Miss Blight had only had to fly her home. That could have been explained away by a stomach bug or the flu - but Miss Blight knowing this... Miss Blight's family was powerful and well connected... Lilith saw the life she had fought so hard for burn away in an instant.
Eda looked at Luz in disbelief, then glanced at the brat, then at Lily. Oof, she's about ready to explode, she thought.
Luz rubbed her neck, glancing around the table, then down at the remnants of her breakfast.
Amity's chest felt tight and cold. She had been afraid something like this would happen. She's not going to want to be my mentor anymore.
"Someone please say something," Luz said in a small voice.
Eda took a deep breath. "Dang it kid, I swore I'd never say these words... Go to your room," her voice was tense and angry. "Now."
"But - "
"Do not - " Eda firmly raised a hand. "Argue with me."
Luz got to her feet. Amity followed suit.
"Take King."
Luz picked King up, then grabbed Amity by the hand and walked quickly toward the stairs. When Eda judged them to be out of earshot, she let out a breath and sagged in her chair.
"Is that the sort of thing you teach your student?" Lilith asked, cold fury evident in her voice.
"Lily I swear to god," Eda muttered, shaking her head. "Can we not - immediately - attack each other? Can we just call a truce for now? I can't," she let out a tight breath, shaking her head again. "I'm barely awake, my uterus wants to kill me, yesterday was a mess and I have zero margins. Zero."
Lilith stared at her for a solid ten seconds without speaking. Or blinking.
Maybe Eda has a solution? She has wormed her way out of trouble many times, Lilith thought.
"Fine. Truce."
"Okay." Eda rubbed her temples. "Luz wouldn't do something like that on purpose. Would your brat?"
Lilith frowned. "Her name is Miss Blight. Amity Blight."
"Fine, Amity - would she?"
"No," Lilith responded after a few seconds.
"Luz wouldn't tell anyone something like this. Especially if I ask her not to. King is a different story. But I don't think he was a part of this."
"I doubt Miss Blight... would reveal such information. Willingly."
"You say that as if you think someone's going to torture her for information," Eda scoffed. "That's paranoid, even for you, Lily."
"You don't know the kind of people I have to deal with, Edalyn!" Lilith snapped. "They will use anything and anyone!"
Eda stared at her sister. Lily seemed really serious, not just 'I'm mad so I'm going to exaggerate to get my point across'.
"So what do you want to do? Erase their memories?" Eda countered, knocked slightly off balance.
"You know very well memory manipulation spells are illegal!"
"I was joking."
"This is not the time for jokes! This is serious!"
"I know it's serious!"
"Do you?!" Lilith shot to her feet, her face white with fury. "What is the risk for you?! None! You have no reputation, no status, no position to lose!"
Eda stared at her sister. Lilith looked furious - and terrified.
"Not to mention the danger that the girls are now in - if anyone were to find out that they might know something of value - Edalyn, they could be killed! Or worse!" Lilith panted rapidly - she looked ready to keel over. She sat down hard on the chair, clutching her forehead. Stars, she felt so dizzy. "I think I'm - I think I'm going to throw up," she said in a thick voice. Eda waved a finger and a bucket appeared in the air in front of Lilith. She grabbed it and put it in her lap, trying to take deep breaths. Then the breakfast barged its way up her throat.
While Lilith was... busy, Eda took a moment to think. Lily did have a lot more to lose. And the girls could be in danger. Luz could be in danger. The Blight brat was already connected to Lily, but it'd be hard to connect Luz to Lily. Unless someone saw Luz interacting with Eda, and made the connection to Lily that way. Ohh, what a mess... Eda's uterus felt that this was the best possible time to try to turn itself inside out. She folded over with a groan.
Lilith panted, trying to will the nausea under control. It slowly faded from her. She wiped her forehead with a shaking hand, then put the bucket on the floor and closed her eyes. Countless terrible scenarios presented themselves to Lilith's mind. Each worse than the last. Her heart beat hard in her chest, so hard it hurt. She clutched at the front of the robe, trying to breathe normally.
"This... is a disaster," she managed to pant.
"It's not great," Eda agreed. "So... what do we do?"
"I have no idea," Lilith shook her head, trying to fight the tears that were welling up. She despised feeling powerless.
"I... believe Luz when she said she wanted to help - that's Luz. It's also very Luz to be worried and try to fix something that really isn't her responsibility... Having said that; I think she might have been onto something with what she found. Have a look." Eda held out the rectangular thing. Lilith saw it had writing on it. She took it hesitantly. She had to hold it up close to her face to read the tiny writing.
It's all here, Lilith thought, feeling the cold sweat roll down her neck. All of it.
"This... is a human condition?" Lilith asked. She felt contaminated somehow.
"I think it's something both humans and witches can get," Eda said, holding out her hand for the rectangle.
"It said it has no cure."
"Yeah, well..."
They fell into thoughtful silence. Thunder rolled somewhere above.
"How... do we make it clear to them how... serious this is?" Eda wondered aloud. "They've put themselves and us in a complicated situation."
"They're our students," At least, they are for now. Lilith closed her eyes. "We're supposed to keep them safe."
"There's no way to put the spider back into the griffon's mouth..."
"So, what do we do?" Lilith couldn't think properly.
Eda thought for a long moment. "How about we... just tell them. Let them know the possible consequences that could come from having... this kind of information. At least then they can be prepared," Eda sighed, then continued in a mutter; "I've really got to step up my teaching game."
Lilith made a face.
"What else is there to do? Either we bring them in, or we shut them out. I'd have to send Luz home. You'd have to stop mentoring that brat of yours. Cut off all contact. And even if we were to take that route, someone, somewhere might still make the connection between us and them and try to take advantage - and they'd be on their own."
"Unprotected."
"Yeah," Eda nodded. "People might even take more notice if you were to dump the brat. People would wonder why. So. We... talk to them. Do we punish them?" Eda rubbed her forehead.
"Obviously there needs to be some kind of punishment."
"Okay. There's some nasty stuff in the basement I've been meaning to clean out."
"My garden could use some pruning."
They lapsed into silence, both lost in thought.
"What if... Miss Blight doesn't want to continue her apprenticeship with me, knowing what she now knows?" Lilith wondered aloud. She sounded almost sad now, Eda thought. All the anger had drained away.
"That brat worships the ground you walk on, you dweeb."
Lilith gave Eda a wounded look.
"Come on, Lily," Eda sighed. "You could just ask her, you know. Be direct? And besides, do you still want her as your apprentice?"
"Of course I do," Lilith responded, stung. "Miss Blight has great promise."
Eda huffed and rolled her eyes. So like Lily... Eda could tell there was more to their relationship. There had to be, for Lilith to claim someone as her apprentice.
"Amity, I'm sorry, I didn't think they'd react that way," Luz said as soon as she had closed the door behind them. They were still holding hands. "Are you okay?"
Amity sniffed, then her face crumpled and her shoulders rose.
"Ah querida..."
Luz stepped forward and hugged Amity very, very carefully.
"It's going to be okay..." Luz whispered, stroking Amity's back. Amity drew in an unsteady breath, then began to cry in earnest. "It's going to be okay..."
"She hates me!" Amity sobbed.
"No, no, no, no, she doesn't hate you, Amity, come on... She's upset! They were both upset... I'm sure they both feel... kind of exposed right now. Like," Luz sighed, knowing it was probably not a great idea to bring this up. "When you thought I'd read your diary."
"But you didn't mean to, we didn't mean to..."
"I know," Luz said softly, hugging Amity tighter. Luz was relieved to hear Amity understood she really hadn't meant to read her diary. That was very good to know.
"And we tried to help..."
"I know, I know... They just need time to understand that. They will understand. Eda and Lilith."
"She was so angry..." Amity shivered at the memory.
"Yeah, she was," Luz agreed, blinking hard a few times. "She's one intimidating lady."
"Why didn't we just leave when we heard them talking?" Amity sighed, her voice full of despair.
"I don't know." Luz shook her head slowly. "It was like I couldn't move."
"Me too..." Amity sniffed.
"I was so... scared."
"Me too..."
They hugged each other more tightly.
"They are going to understand," Luz said, and Amity wondered how she could be so sure.
"I hope so," Amity sighed, resting her cheek on Luz's shoulder. Luz leaned her own cheek against the side of Amity's head. They remained in the embrace until there was a knock at the door.
"Come downstairs," Eda's voice came from the corridor, then she walked away.
The girls split apart. Amity wiped her cheeks on her sleeve.
"They are going to understand," Luz repeated, wiping her cheeks too. They headed downstairs, holding hands.
When they arrived in the kitchen, they found Eda and Lilith sitting next to each other on the far side of the kitchen table. Both had their arms and legs crossed. Amity felt an overwhelming urge to turn around and run away.
"Sit down," Lilith said tonelessly. The girls took their seats. Luz scooted closer to Amity and took her hand again, under the table. Amity tried not to blush.
Both the girls looked as if they had been crying, Eda noted. They hadn't meant any harm, she had been sure of that before. Now she was extra sure.
"Right," she began. "Obviously, we are very upset with the two of you. You both know eavesdropping is wrong, but we believe you when you said it wasn't your intention to do so. We also believe you when you said you wanted to help." Luz looked up hopefully. Amity looked up too, not really believing what she was hearing. "But, you... we... oh for crying out loud," Eda's concentration shattered. She had to lean back in her chair while a cramp raged through her. "Lily."
"Listening in was an extreme violation of our privacy," Lilith continued smoothly, her face was rigid and unforgiving. Amity squeezed Luz's hand, and Luz squeezed back. "What Edalyn and I were talking about was highly personal. Besides it being a great violation to both of us - overhearing us, you may have put yourselves at risk."
"W-what do you mean?" Luz asked, stunned.
"Don't interrupt," Lilith focused her cold gaze on the human. Luz shrank back in her chair. "There are people out there who would say and do anything to lay their hands on information like that. People who would not hesitate to hurt you to get what they want."
Luz stared at Lilith, then at Eda. Amity's eyes had gone wide.
"This is not what anyone wanted," Eda joined in, her voice a little strained. "We want the two of you to be safe, but what you did has really made that a whole lot harder."
"It's put us in a very uncomfortable position," Lilith added.
"We're not going to tell anyone, we promise," Luz said quickly. "Right, Amity?"
Amity nodded, her face pale.
"Do you understand why it is crucial for this information to stay secret?" Lilith leaned forward and put her hand on the table. Amity's eyes snapped to it, then up at her mentor's face, then down again.
"Because it's... private?" Luz tried.
"Obviously it is private!" Lilith snapped, her composure cracking. Both girls jumped back in their chairs. Eda put a restraining hand on Lilith's arm. She took a breath. "If it were to get out... that I - that we - have this - this condition, it could seriously damage not only my standing in our society, but also the system that I help maintain. If the public loses faith in my ability to lead - every law I've made, every person I've imprisoned or set free, every person I've promoted - those decisions could all be called into question."
"But... why?" Luz asked. "Just because you've got a condition or whatever, that doesn't mean you're not good at your job? I mean, you obviously are..."
Lilith blinked at her, taken aback. She took a breath, then continued.
"The people I'm talking about don't care about whether I do my job properly or not. They only care about power. And what they can do with that power. If the only thing that stands between them and it is a couple of teenage girls - "
"Lily, that's enough!" Eda hissed. Lilith glanced at her, then sat back in her chair. Luz and Amity looked like a pair of kicked puppies. "They get that it's serious, don't you, girls?"
Luz and Amity nodded quickly.
"As punishment for eavesdropping, you're going to clean out the basement. And prune Lily's garden. When the storm is over, obviously."
Both Luz and Amity nodded again, accepting their fate.
"Can I ask a question?" Luz inquired carefully.
"... Go ahead, kid."
"Did the article I found help at all?" Luz looked up, her eyebrows drawn together.
Eda and Lilith exchanged a look.
"I'm going to have to look into it further, but it... did answer some questions," Eda said slowly.
"Oh, good," Luz smiled, her shoulders relaxing.
"But - this is our problem, Luz, not yours. It's not something I want you to try to fix, okay, kid? It's not your responsibility." Eda looked at Luz sternly. There was a strained kind of worry in her eyes.
"But - " Luz began.
"No, Luz, I know you want to help, but no. This is complicated and difficult enough as it is, I don't want you get even more involved."
"Oh... o-okay." Luz looked down at the table, her face falling.
"Your heart's in the right place, kid," Eda said with a sigh. Luz smiled tentatively.
Amity couldn't hold it in any longer. "Miss Clawthorne, a-am I still your - are we - uh," she began, but lost herself. She blushed furiously.
Eda elbowed Lilith. Lilith's mind shifted gears so quickly she felt as if she'd been doused with cold water. Instead of anger and hurt pride, her mind was full of guilt.
"Miss Blight, Amity - " Lilith faltered too.
"Kid," Eda got to her feet with a grimace. "Let's go get started on the basement. I'll show you how to use the ghoul scrape. And you'll need a helmet."
"Ghoul scrape?" Luz asked, sounding amazed. The two of them left the kitchen.
There was an awkward silence.
"Miss Blight," Lilith began."I realize your opinion of me has... changed. It's not fitting for a teacher to lean on a student as much as I did yesterday - and I realize it must have been... frightening for you... For that I wish to apologize. And I want to thank you. For doing what you did."
"Miss Clawthorne, I was happy to help," Amity said earnestly. "I'm really sorry to have eavesdropped and disappointed you, again... If you don't want me as your student anymore, I... I understand."
Lilith swallowed.
"What do you mean, 'disappointed you again'?"
Amity had to summon all her strength to be able to speak.
"At the... covention. I must have done something to make you doubt my capabilities, why else would you put a power glyph on me in a magic duel... against a human? Unless you thought I wasn't able to do it on my own..." She tried to keep her voice steady, but it was shaking. She looked down at the table, trying not to cry. This is it, Amity thought. This is when she tells me I'm unworthy to be her student. I'll be expelled too. She wouldn't want me anywhere near her, especially since I overheard her talking to her sister...
Lilith stared at Miss Blight. Her most promising student in years. Her favorite student. The guilt she had tried to push away for weeks slammed full force into her chest. Miss Blight had thought herself lacking? Oh, how her heart ached...
"I've... never... doubted your skills, Miss Blight," Lilith said, her voice barely audible. Miss Blight twitched, but didn't look up. "I'm - sorry, I - it was terrible of me to do that to you. I was so blinded by... my need to be right, to prove my sister wrong, that I... acted irrationally. I put you at risk. I put our relationship at risk. All for the sake of my... rivalry with my sister. I... abused my power over you. I am truly, deeply sorry that I did." She fell silent, selfishly wanting Miss Blight to say something to make her feel less guilty. She forced herself to let go of that want, then continued. "I've been wanting to bring it up with you ever since it happened. But I've been too... ashamed of how I acted."
"So... you don't think I'm a... f-failure?" Miss Blight whispered, her narrow shoulders shaking. She was still looking down at the table.
Lilith could see several tears splash down on the wooden surface. Her heart broke. She rose to her feet and hurried round the table. She took Luz's abandoned chair and pulled the poor child into a desperate embrace.
"I'm so sorry," Lilith whispered. "I'm so, so sorry... You're a wonderful student and I'm so proud of you - I'm the one at fault - I'm so sorry, Amity - " she realized that she had rushed to hug the girl again, just like she had done a few months ago - but this time the hug might have been far less welcome, and far less appropriate. But then Amity hugged her back - and Lilith's heart broke anew.
Amity clutched at her mentor, completely overwhelmed with relief and guilt and joy. She doesn't hate me! She's proud of me! She said sorry! She's proud of me! She's... proud of me... She's proud... She doesn't hate me...
Lilith felt the Amity's ragged breath against her chest and gave up on trying to keep herself from crying. She stroked the back of Amity's head, feeling so relieved the girl hadn't just pushed her away. So relieved...
Neither of them knew how much time had passed when they finally sat back. Lilith guessed it had been quite a while, judging by the stiffness in her arms and back. She reached for the roll of paper towels on the table and held it out to Amity before taking some herself. They both blew their noses and wiped their eyes.
Lilith drew in a deep breath, then exhaled slowly.
"May I call you Amity?" she asked carefully. Amity nodded. "Please call me Lilith from now on." Amity nodded again, smiling faintly. Lilith took another breath. "Amity... do you want to remain my protege? I fully understand if you do not - "
"Of course I want - " Amity managed to stop herself. Her pale face went blotchily pink. Lilith gave her a warm, tired smile and Amity took that to mean she could go on. "I've always... been so proud you took me under your wing and now I'm... it's... Knowing that you... You're - " Amity shook her head, trying to get the words right. "You're the strongest person I've ever known."
Lilith's eyes went wide. Then the corner of her eyes and the back of her nose started to burn again.
Amity's cheeks bloomed with heat. She swallowed hard.
"That's... very kind of you to say," Lilith managed before the lump in her throat got too big. Lightning flashed through the window and thunder rolled. Lilith quickly wiped under her eyes with the sleeve of the borrowed bathrobe, completely forgetting she had some crumpled paper in her hand. "You are a tenacious, resilient girl. And oh so very bright..."
Amity sniffed, then smiled. Lilith reached out and straightened Amity's cowl, smoothing it down over her shoulders.
"Now, about your... punishment - "
"Oh, right!" Amity sat up straight and looked toward the door. "I'll go join Luz right away. Thank you, Miss Cl - Lilith." She stood up, smiled, then hurried out the same door Eda and Luz had left through.
Lilith blinked in surprise. She had meant to say that maybe they could forgo the punishment. But that would be unfair to the human, Lilith admitted to herself. Again, Amity had shown herself to be a better person than Lilith. And she couldn't be more pleased. She leaned back in her chair, completely exhausted, and let whatever tears she had left fall.
Note: I did not intend for it to run this long. Well. I didn't have a plan when I started writing this a few days ago. I just needed to vent, and this is the result. I'm seriously considering continuing this story? Because the angst and vent potential are so juicy. Also, I kind of want to see where it goes?
EDIT: This AU is now a series! This is part three. The next part is called There's a Luz loose in my garden. You can find it in my fic list on my profile.
Please review!
