AN: This AU takes place in a stereotypical American high school.

Not for the first time, Ruby Kurosawa felt grateful.

For the adorably shy redhead with extreme social anxiety and a background of perpetual friendlessness, it was the best fortune to have been blessed with such wonderful friends on that fateful day one year ago.

She'd been sitting all alone in the school cafeteria the first week of her freshman year, idly picking at her food as she commiserated her loneliness, when all of a sudden a pair of lunch trays slapped down next to her. She'd startled and looked up into the smiling faces of two sophomores as they introduced themselves. Not long after, their junior friend came to join them. The rest was history.

Sure they could be loud, and crass, and they often dragged her into situations she was not well versed in, but she always had fun and they respected her boundaries. Not once had she ever found herself regretting their friendship.

And yet, today might be the day.

It was a normal weekday for Ruby and the redheaded sophomore found herself sitting at the usual lunch table. Chika and You had yet to arrive, but Kanan was beside her scoping out high school hotties as she was wont to do. As Ruby picked at her generic cafeteria food spaghetti, she heard a sudden gasp from the blunette. She turned away from the unappetizing slop her school called food and looked to Kanan.

"What is it?"

"Ruby. I have just found the pinnacle of girls," declared the blunette with eyes sparkling. "I have no idea who she is, but I swear in the high school world, she is legendary. The holy ground, holy scripture, the origin of life equivalent to the universe!"

"I don't understand what you're saying," remarked Ruby with amused confusion.

"Looking at her, it's like looking at everything I've ever wanted wrapped up in one sexy package. My skin is clear, my crops are watered, my life is average, and I've never been more hydrated."

"So you're saying you're wet?" chirped Chika mischievously as she and You sat down at their table.

"Very," agreed Kanan.

"Oh. Kanan found another one," deduced You nonchalantly as she bit into her sandwich.

"Not just any one," said Kanan with a purr of desire. "I have found THE one!" She leaned in conspiratorially to her friends and nodded a direction. "See the girl by water fountains?"

"...The one talking to the vice-principal?" asked Chika, decidedly unimpressed. Next to her, You felt the same. Not that the girl in question wasn't attractive, but Kanan made it sound like a twelve out of ten. To Chika and You, she wasn't even an eleven.

In high school, that said a lot.

Kanan nodded emphatically. "Look at her! That streaming raven hair, that petite frame, those slender legs... She is a snacc!"

"Yes," came Ruby's clipped, unenthused agreement. "Yes she is."

"She's flat as a board, but I can make do. Just probably means she's more sensitive in places that aren't her chest."

"That sounds about right," came the redhead's deadpan.

"I want her legs wrapped around me as she screams my name in ecstasy," drooled Kanan.

"Her voice can certainly carry when she wants it to," snapped Ruby. "Her scoldings can be terrifying."

"Oh she's like a prim and proper princess! God do I want to mess that!"

"She's extremely intelligent with straight A's and she's the highest ranked student in our entire school for academics."

"Ruby, you sound like you know a lot about her," observed You curiously.

"I'd better," growled Ruby uncharacteristically, sending a harsh glare at Kanan. "She's my sister."

A beat of silence passed as her trio of friends digested that information. Chika slowly nodded her head, immediately understanding as a fellow little sister. You tilted her head in thought, wondering just how far the blunette was going to push. The girl in question didn't react, maintaining her stare at the object of her desire.

Kanan finally turned to look at Ruby, her lips twitching into an easy smile as her face turned suave. "Ruby-"

"I refuse," denied the redhead with crossed arms and a severe frown.

Chika and You broke out into giggles at the sudden shutdown but Kanan remained persistent. "I haven't said anything yet."

"It's not happening."

"It's rude to interrupt people before they've finished."

"I don't care."

"Just hear me out here."

"No way."

The next few minutes passed by uneventfully as Kanan continued to needle Ruby into setting her up with her sister, the redhead shooting her down all the while. Chika and You amused themselves by stealing Kanan's fries while she was distracted.

Eventually, Ruby hit her limit.

"For the last time, I will not and never will set you up with my sister!" snapped Ruby with a huff. "Now stop asking or I'll tell everyone what happened at your cousin's wedding! Which, once again, was nowhere near as fun as you said it would be!"

In addition to putting Kanan off-balance, such an effective threat also caught the curiosity of their friends.

"Huh. We never did find out what happened with that," remarked You with interest.

"Yeah, I wanna know too!" added Chika. "You should definitely keep asking her, Kanan."

Faced with such obviously self-interested encouragement, the blunette deflated to the table, letting out a long sigh of resignation. "Is this really how it ends? With my own friend and partner-in-crime blackmailing me into silence?"

"I certainly hope so," muttered the redhead.

Kanan let out a low groan of lust, her eyes locked on the older Kurosawa as her hands gripped the edge of the lunch table. "That's so not cool! Oh god I just want to bury my face between her thighs while she pulls my hair and moans my name-"

"Stop lewding my sister!" cried Ruby.

"I think this is the first time we've ever seen Ruby genuinely angry," noted You.

"It's really funny to watch," commented Chika as she swiped the last of Kanan's fries. "And unexpected too."

Sighing loudly, Ruby turned to the ginger. "Chika, wouldn't you want to protect your older sisters from a... a..." She eyed Kanan disdainfully as she attempted to find a fitting descriptor.

"Hormonal teenager?" suggested You.

"Horny diver?" contributed Chika.

"Lust addled idiot?" followed You.

"Thirsty thot?" chirped Chika.

"...person of impure intent," decided Ruby.

"Wow. Coming from Ruby, that's practically a condemnation."

"Do you think you'll be able to find redemption, Kanan?"

Letting out another groan, this one of indignation, the blunette slowly picked herself off the table and turned to her friends. "You guys suck."

"Yes we do," remarked Chika.

"And it's such a shame we're not Ruby's sister," grinned You.

Kanan's face met table.

As Ruby continued ignoring this latest display of teenage angst, Chika and You shared a high five. As was typical, Kanan's suffering was their joy.