"Hush little baby, don't you cry,
Daddy's gonna make Tommy Shelby die.
And if that gypsy man won't go,
Daddy's gonna rinse him for a thousand or so…"
Ava walked through the front door and wondered at first if perhaps she had misheard what was going on in the living room. She had gone out with Miriam for a girls lunch, leaving baby Raisa at home with Alfie for a few hours and although she had enjoyed herself, she had been eager to get home to her two favourite people.
"…And if that thousand I don't get,
Arthur Shelby's neck with a noose will have met."
"Alfie!" Ava burst through the living room door and scowled. "What on earth are you singing to our baby?"
"What?" Alfie grinned innocently.
"You know what," Ava pulled a face at him. "You're singing to our daughter about hanging people!"
"Only Arthur Shelby," he muttered.
"I couldn't give a flip if it was about Darby Sabini or Luca bloody Changretta, it's not appropriate and it's downright horrible."
"Yeah but she loves it, don't she?"
Ava rolled her eyes and sighed.
"Love, I'm bein' serious," Alfie reached for her arm, grinning down at little Raisa in his arms. "Proper pisses her little nappy, she does."
"That's a lie because she doesn't know how to laugh, Alfie."
"Yeah, she does."
"No, she doesn't."
"Ava, she's been laughin' at me near enough the whole time you've been gone," he insisted. "Watch;
John Michael Shelby sittin' on a wall,
John Michael Shelby sittin' on a wall,
Then along comes Changretta and John Shelby falls,
Now there's no John Shelby sittin' on a wall."
Just as Alfie said, Raisa let out a little giggle and Ava's eyes widened in horror and delight all that same time. She was laughing. Her baby girl was truly laughing. It was the most beautiful sound and it brought tears to her eyes, especially when she realised her daughter's first laughs were about Peaky Blinders dying.
"Aw don't cry," Alfie cupped Ava's cheek. "I didn't mean for her to do it when you weren't here."
"It's not that," Ava shook her head and sniffed. "Well it sort of is. I mean, if I hadn't have gone out, I wouldn't have missed her first laugh but then if I had have gone out, she wouldn't have done the laugh because there's no way you would have sung those songs in front of me."
"You do make a fair point," Alfie agreed, smiling when Raisa's hand crept up to grab at his mouth and he pretended to nibble at her fingers. She smiled but didn't laugh, not even when Alfie rubbed her face gently with his beard. He tutted at her and shook his head. "Shall we make Raisa laugh again? Shall we? Or is Mummy gonna tell us off cos she don't like our songs?"
"It's not that I don't like them, but I just think they're a bit… morbid for a baby."
"Er have you heard 'ring-a-ring-a-roses'?" Alfie raised an eyebrow at his wife. "It's literally a song about kids dyin' from the fuckin' plague. If that aint morbid then I don't know what bloody is."
"Yeah, but the message behind it is a lot more subtle compared to yours," Ava tried to argue.
"Well, what happened to people bein' up front with their kids, eh? Oh let's have 'em all dance in a circle and sing a nice little song what sounds lovely and when they all fall down, they don't realise they're pretendin' to be dead."
Ava sighed. She wasn't going to win this argument because they both knew Alfie would always have answer. He always bloody did.
"Fine then," she huffed. "Sing her one of your horrible songs but only because I really want to hear her laugh again, and then you're never ever singing them again."
"Apart from when you're not here."
"Alfie!"
"Alright, calm down woman, I'm just jokin'," he exclaimed, before clearing his voice. "Ok, Raisa roo, last one;
Twinkle twinkle little star,
Michael Gray got hit by a car,
Tommy laughed and Polly cried,
Because that smarmy shit had died.
Twinkle, twinkle little star,
Michael Gray got hit by a car."
Raisa laughed again and this time even Ava couldn't stop her lips from twitching.
"You're a terrible man, Alfred Solomons," she grinned, slapping his arm playfully.
"Yeah, but I'm your terrible man," Alfie winked, pulling her against his side and kissing the top of her head. "And you've gotta admit that the thought of that smug little bastard bein' wiped from the face of the Earth aint such a terrible thing."
Ava snorted. He did have a point she supposed. She rested her head against his shoulder and smiled down at Raisa, who only had eyes for her Daddy. Alfie might be a little unconventional in his parenting methods, but she wouldn't change him for the world.