A/N {| So, here is another dirty little one-shot! This one is for Jesica with the prompt idea from the meme: "Ohh so you think I'm cute when I'm angry? Well, get ready because I'm about to be GORGEOUS!" |}

Parenting is one of the most difficult responsibilities known to humankind. This was something that Sheriff Emma Swan had learned firsthand five years ago when her son made a sudden reappearance into her life and dragged her to a town so small that the '80s couldn't squeeze out of it. The scene was rather domestic - if 'domestic' meant trying not to set the kitchen of her small apartment on fire. She was dressed for the occasion in yoga pants and white tank top, hair half in a ponytail and patience all the way gone. While she stared down at the eggs that she had started scrambling, she realized one thing: having a moody teenager was far, far more taxing than having a ten year old boy. While Emma would have appreciated the time to sleep in on a lucky day off - her father was filling in for her considering she had babysat Neal for David and Snow half of the week before - she was at least attempting to keep Henry on the schedule Regina had bitched at Emma about more times than she could count. The only problem was that Henry had all but literally dragged his feet. Arguing with a moody teenager was on the list of her least favorite things to do with her life. She had ended up telling him he either got his ass out of bed on time or she would let the food cook for the same amount of time that Henry remained in bed.

That had been a very, very stupid threat.

The eggs and bacon had smelled delicious, if Emma said so herself! She could whip up the basics with no problem, but waiting for Henry seemed like a recipe for continuing to carry the title of Worst Cook Imaginable from Madam Mayor.

"Henry," Emma bellowed in her utter frustration. "Get your skinny, beanstalk limbed ass down here right now before the house burns down!" She could already smell the bacon getting much more than crispy.

"It's not my fault you can't cook, Ma," came Henry's annoyed bellow back. Emma about threw the spatula across the kitchen. "By the way," he called back down. "The bacon's burning." She could hear how smug he sounded and that just spurred her stubborn nature right the hell on.

"And it'll burn until you get your ass down here," she said, exasperated as she checked the eggs, also on their way to earning themselves an over brown coloring. She could outlast a teen's appetite, couldn't she? She stayed still and perked up an ear, waiting to hear heavy, angsty footsteps on the loft stairs. Instead, all she could hear was the bacon protesting at being set on fire. She tossed the spatula down and took the stairs two at a time, storming toward Henry's small room.

"Henry Second Biggest Pain in My Ass Mills, get your-" and she stopped as soon as she spotted her son throwing the blanket over his boxer clad waist. "Ma," Henry yelled, the redness creeping across his face, anger rising. Emma stood in the doorway, eyes bulging. She knew boys had...morning issues that stood right on up, but she was not prepared for that to involve her son.

"Get OUT," he yelled, having been about to rush to the bathroom before his blonde mother decided to barge in on him.

"Jesus," Emma said as she turned, slamming her eyes closed as if it would clear her eyes and her mind forevermore the way she wished it to be. "Oh God," she said on a muffled, strangled, helpless sound. "Oh God," she kept repeating as she tried not to fall down the stairs.

"Ma," she heard again.

"Nope, kid. Put that thing away and then we'll talk," she declared, wondering how effective bleach was on the eyes.

"You've successfully burned the food," he said unhelpfully as the smell of burned bacon wafted through the tiny loft apartment. Emma released a long, beleaguered sigh.

"I hope you like your bacon crispy!"

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To say that breakfast was awkward would be an understatement. Henry had picked around his burnt as hell food with Emma glaring at him as if it was purely his fault and not also her stubbornness. Emma had tried some of the burned toast, but her stomach had immediately protested, unsettled at the idea of eating the inedible.

"Can I walk to school early," Henry asked into the strained silence. Emma took a sip of her coffee, trying not to look too pleased that she had technically won their little battle. If he had come down sooner, the eggs would have been fluffy, the bacon just crispy enough and the toast not a brick of burned buttery wheat.

"Eager to learn, huh," she inquired with a lopsided smirk that triggered Henry's Regina-like eye roll like a Rube Goldberg machine. He tipped back the rest of his orange juice; it had been the only edible thing set in front of him that morning.

"Something like that," he grumbled as he stood up to grab his backpack that was sitting by the door. Emma watched him curiously before it dawned on her. Regina would kill her if he was going to go do what she thought he was going to do.

"You know your mom doesn't want you dating," she said half heartedly.

"What do you say about me dating," he asked all teenagerly over his shoulder, challenging her.

"Kid, don't pit your mothers against each other," she deadpanned as she took a sip of her coffee and leaned back in her chair. She received Henry's first and only grin in what seemed like a week.

"I can't help it," he shrugged his backpack onto his shoulders before turning to Emma. "Sometimes you let me do the fun things," he said simply as he opened the front door. Emma shrugged at that; he wasn't wrong in the least.

"Try not to take advantage or your mother will kill me and there will be no fun to be had ever again," she chuckled, realizing that that wasn't even completely a joke. After five years, her tense friendship with Regina had come a long way. Sure, the mayor often told Emma she was an idiot and threatened her a minimum of five times a day still, but there had been a lot of progress. They even had breakfast together at Granny's sometimes without Henry. Being friends with Regina Mills was something else, Emma thought as Henry closed the door behind him.

Emma tossed back the last of her coffee and wrinkled up her nose as she collected their still full plates, dumping the charred remains into the garbage can. It looked like she would be having breakfast at Granny's herself this morning, but not until she had taken a nice, long, hot bath. It had been a while since she had had the time to relax into the tub and just let the hot water ease her tired muscles.

She had just finished her long bath and tossed on a clean tank top and jeans when she heard her phone in mid-ring. She had no idea how long it had been ringing, so lost was she in thought, but it seemed like her phone was ringing more insistently than it normally did. She let out a sigh. There was only one person that could make her phone seem more upset and impatient than anyone else. Still, she took her time walking to her phone out of spite - some habits die hard.

Emma had barely accepted the call before she heard the angry husk that was Henry's brunette mother's voice. She put the phone to her ear mid-sentence.

"...and why was my son over at my house eating out of the fridge when it is your week? Are you incapable of taking care of our son after all these years?" Emma sighed into the tirade, knowing no opening to speak was coming unless she forced one.

"I was making a point, Regina," Emma began to defend herself.

"What point was that, Miss Swan? That you cannot cook nor keep your own fridge stocked?"

"No, that your son is a pain in the ass, Regina."

"He gets that from you."

Emma scoffed and nestled the phone in between her shoulder and ear as she looked around for her keys. "Ah, yes. All failures are property of Emma Swan while all successes are purely the child rearing skills of one Regina Mills." She could feel Regina's lips turning up in a smirk.

"Yes, dear. It's only taken you five years to come to that realization, but you didn't answer my first question," she snapped. Emma was at a loss. Apparently, her delay in pressing the phone to her ear for all of three seconds had made her miss a seemingly important part of the conversation Regina was having with Emma as a spectator.

She swallowed, knowing that her next question would only get her in trouble. "What question," she asked, ready for the battle to come.

"Between you and your idiot parents, I have to repeat myself so often it's a wonder I have time for anything else," Regina was in quite the mood, but she repeated herself anyway, to her disdain. "Why did I catch my son outside of Granny's kissing that girl on my way into the office?"

So that's what this was about, Emma mused.

"Honestly, Regina, if you had walked in on his morning salute, you would have wanted him out of the house A-S-A-Motherfuckin'-P too," she defended as she found her keys finally. Regina sighed into the phone, the kind of world weary sound that only a former royal having to tolerate peasants could muster.

"How you can insert vulgar words into otherwise mundane phrases is beyond me, but, unless I have been unclear," Emma prepared herself for the lecture she could repeat herself, which she did, silently, mouthing the same words that fell from Regina's lips.

"Our son is not allowed to date until he's finished college! Education is important and he doesn't need any distractions," Emma stopped mouthing along as soon as Regina finished her usual speech, but was surprised there was a new addendum.

"...that could lead him to becoming as incompetent as his mother who can't even cook scrambled eggs and bacon without burning the house down."

"Jesus, Regina, calm down! He's a teenager, they-" but she felt rather than heard Regina stop listening. When Regina spoke, her voice was dangerously calm.

"Calm down? Just that simple. Calm down. You just say the words, Miss Swan, and I am suddenly calm," and the almost bored, unemotional way she said that scared Emma a bit. The blonde chuckled into the phone, finding her red leather jacket.

"If I had known that would work," Emma laughed as she tugged her jacket onto her right arm. "I would have tried it maybe before or after I took a chainsaw to your tree," she joked, figuring maybe, just maybe, Regina realized she was overreacting over small things yet again. From the corner of her eye, she saw a swirl of purple smoke and rolled her eyes, phone still pressed to her ear as she turned around to see Regina now standing in her living room. Her expression was dark and dangerously miffed - but Emma could only let her eyes take in the sight of Regina in her tall fuck me heels, up her smooth, tanned legs to her form fitting gray dress. When Emma's eyes made their way up to Regina's face, Regina almost smirked - it had not been lost on her that Emma liked to check her out. It was the main reason she tended to pick certain things in her wardrobe. She also knew how much Emma loved her smoky makeup, the way it made her dark eyes even more intense.

Regina stepped forward at the same time Emma stepped backward.

"You can hang up the phone, dear," she crossed her arms over her chest and watched as Emma stood there, jacket half on and phone pressed to her ear with an expression somewhere between dread and arousal. Wordlessly, Emma hung up her phone and placed it into her back pocket, shrugging the other arm of her jacket on finally.

"Now," Regina continued, as if she was still on the phone and had not just poofed into Emma's kitchen. "What are we going to do about this...Violet problem?" Emma shrugged in response, receiving the arch of a perfectly manicured eyebrow in repayment.

"What, Regina? He's fifteen! His hormones are out of control right now," her words started to slow down at the way Regina's eyes were widening. "What," she found herself saying for the fifty millionth time.

Regina huffed in a manner that told Emma she should have known something that Regina thought she should know, but she clearly did not.

"Emma! That's exactly the problem," Regina's hands rested on her hips - and suddenly, Emma was more concentrated on the appearance of Regina's cleavage than her words. Regina continued on in her tirade anyway. "His hormones," she spat the word out like it was poison - or like walking in to see your son's morning salute. "...are what worries me! I am not ready for grandchildren," she huffed, causing Emma to laugh.

"Regina," she motioned to Regina's frame in general. "You're already at MILF status. I'm pretty sure GILF status makes you some kind of...I don't know, pornographic goddess or something." This did not get the laugh she had been hoping for - but who was she kidding? She was talking to Regina Mills. Regina's expression had shifted from annoyed to puzzled.

"Miss Swan. We're discussing the future of our child and all you can think about is porn?"

Emma held her hands up defensively, her stomach grumbling as it remembered she had been on her way to Granny's. This had been fun, the verbal sparring, but Emma was starting to lose patience. She needed a minimum of two bear claws, stat. "Look, Regina," she started in. "I don't want to be a grandparent either. But, we'll be fine. I had the talk with him," the words were out before she could stop them. She wanted to shrink until she could slip between the threads of the carpet.

"What exactly did you tell him during this talk?" It was a question, but one that Regina hoped the answer she assumed Emma was contemplating was not, in fact, the answer Emma was contemplating. The way Emma squirmed told Regina all she needed to know. She was marching forward so fast, Emma fell over the arm of the couch when the backs of her knees hit the arm.

"Whoa, hey," Emma exclaimed as she clumsily sat herself upright on the couch, Regina having adjusted position so her dark brown eyes were boring holes into Emma's, and the blonde was sure she saw a fireball emanating straight from the depths of Regina's eyes, ready to travel the length of her body, sear out from her fingertips and burn Emma worse than the morning's bacon. She spluttered as she tried to answer, realizing that the heat that had jumped up from the pit of her stomach to her chest wasn't actually terror.

"I told him to be safe, you know. To uh, wrap it up, if he couldn't control himself." Emma had had sex before fifteen, so she only somewhat saw the importance of celibacy until adulthood. Though, she certainly was joking. She had been avoiding the sex talk like the plague when it came to Henry. Regina's expression revealed the kind of shock that didn't come often - the mayor had seen and endured plenty in her decades of existence and not much shocked her. As she thought about it further, no, she wasn't shocked that Emma would have had that kind of talk with their son and not even give a thought to the implications. Regina straightened up, arms crossed over that tantalizing cleavage that Emma never seemed to be able to tear her eyes away from.

"To wrap it up, Emma? That's your grand advice to a fifteen year old child?" Her tone was strained as she almost willed Emma to burst into flames with only the heat of her eyes alone. Emma decided her height advantage was a plus and pushed herself off of the couch, not exactly towering over the mayor, but she drew her shoulders up to gain those very valuable few inches. As Regina glared through her, Emma's mouth suddenly curved into a smile, the laugh bubbling up from her stomach.

"Jesus, Regina. You're easy to rile up. I was kidding," Emma crossed her arms over her chest defensively - and she could have sworn the mayor's eyes briefly dipped down to see the expanse of skin her slightly tugged tank top revealed.

When she caught herself, Regina returned to trying to turn Emma to stone with her eyes. "The fact that you can never be serious just might be the most frustrating thing about you," she finally ground out. Emma shrugged one shoulder, as if they were just having a day at the park, discussing the clouds in the sky.

"What can I say? You're cute when you're angry," Emma said nonchalantly, not really having any concerns about how that comment would be received by the often icy former queen. In hindsight, maybe she should have. The transformation of the mayor's features was pleasant at first - the sexy, knowing, devious smirk curved beautifully full lips, but that was quickly replaced with incredulity.

"Cute," Regina finally said after what seemed like ages. "Cute is hardly a word I think any adult should be using to describe anything but puppies, Miss Swan," Regina said with the wave of her hand. She looked nonplussed, though, inwardly, she couldn't deny that she was pleased to hear that the savior thought she was cute. It wasn't what she imagined Emma saying to her in her fantasies. Those usually involved the pale goddess moaning and praising her while Regina hovered above her as she fucked her into babbling nonsense. Regina's eyes held Emma's, causing the younger woman to want to squirm, but she stayed firm nonetheless.

"In spite of your infatuation with me," Regina continued haughtily. "I suggest you try not to anger me further, dear. And," she added as she lifted a hand to make as colorful of an exit as she had entered. "Do try not to be a bad influence on our son. I know it's a big ask." And with that, she was gone in a swirl of purple smoke, a stunned Emma in her wake.

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For a day off, Emma couldn't say she had done much with it. She had had breakfast at Granny's then back home to mindlessly watch TV before she also decided to forego lunch at Granny's as well - her cooking out of spite method had soured her on cooking for the day; or the foreseeable future. When Henry made his way home, Emma was sprawled out on the couch, a bag of chips resting on her stomach, snoring. Henry didn't even remove his backpack as he leaned over to snatch the bag off of his mom's stomach. She was quite the picture, somehow looking like a slob in sweatpants, but still toned and muscular for someone eating salt and vinegar chips out of a bag on the couch.

"Ma," Henry prompted as he lifted a sock covered foot and nudged his mother in the side a few times. "Ma," he tried again, stuffing some chips into his large mouth. When the blonde didn't wake up, he leaned over her and started crunching chips into her ear. He was careful to back up quickly enough not to have Emma's head smack him in the chin and knock him out. His judgment was warranted as Emma sat bolt upright, a look of complete horror taking over her face that had previously been relaxed into the slumber of the lazy.

"Ew, Henry! That's so gross! Close your mouth and never do that again. That's just...eewww," she said, disgruntled at being awakened in such a manner. God, she missed when he was little and cute. Now he was just big and cute and always doing weird shit. Henry munched on some chips obnoxiously in spite anyway, receiving a death glare fit for his other mother.

"Anyway, mom says we're having dinner at her place before I go to game night with Nick because she's afraid you'll either starve me or make me eat charcoal again." Emma let out an aggrieved sigh.

"If you had gotten up like I had asked-" but her son was already walking up the stairs to his room. "Hey," she yelled after him. "No snacking! You know your mom will be pissed if you ruin your appetite."

Henry backed down the steps a few to smirk down at her. "You're just saying that because you want to finish the bag before the next episode of Scandal ends. How can you watch that show?" He didn't wait for an answer as he crunched his way up the stairs.

Emma was paralyzed into sitting in silence. How could he diss her favorite show and steal her chips? The world was filled with injustices.

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Putting pants on had not been in Emma's evening plans, but, if it meant getting to enjoy Regina's cooking, throwing on jeans was a small price to pay. Dinner went well enough, mainly with lots of small talk permeated by Regina chastising either her child or his child of a mother. It wasn't lost on Emma that Regina had cooked more than enough. She probably had a much better chance of heating up the leftovers and getting Henry to eat them than getting him to trust her to cook again in the near future. Dinner had wound down and Henry suggested watching a movie, but Regina had other plans. A clearing of her throat made both of her guests halt in their upward motion out of their chairs. When she was sure she had both of their attention, she cast a glance at Emma first before looking at Henry.

"Your mother and I need to speak with you about something," she said neutrally.

"We do?" Emma cursed under her breath at the kick to her shin from under the table. She should have known that her pre-arranged seat worked more to her disadvantage, having to sit so close to a woman with sharp nails and high heels. That caused Emma's eyes to drop to Regina's hands. It wasn't the first time she had noticed that two of Regina's fingernails on each hand were filed down shorter than the others, not that her nails were that long to begin with. Suddenly, Emma couldn't stop thinking about why that was the case. Was the mayor into women or just into staring at Emma's boobs?

"Emma," Regina snapped, waiting for Emma to join the damned conversation.

"Uh, yes, yes, speak to you...about something, yes." She said it to Regina, the other woman not realizing that Emma was talking about something entirely different. Instead, she gritted her teeth and figured she would have to do all of the heavy lifting.

"Henry, you know that dating should not be a priority right now," Regina began, Henry's eyes rolling so far into his head, they most likely had visited another realm. Emma had just lifted her beer to her lips to take a drink when the topic of Regina's little talk became clear to her. She spat part of the liquid in her mouth out before she caught herself, some droplets landing on the table, a few inches away from those hands Emma had been studying. All with their lesbiantastic short nails on long fingers.

"Emma! Swallow before you speak," Regina gritted out, causing both Henry and his blonde mother to laugh. Emma, being the much more relaxed parent, just looked at her son with a knowing look that only people with dirty minds get as they shared a thought best not said in polite company. Regina was not pleased, but she would not be detoured from her plan.

"As I was saying before your mother so rudely interrupted, you will not be dating until I have physically held your university diploma in my hands."

"Diploma number what," Emma had the foresight to ask the question Henry was afraid to ask. Regina's glare could freeze the Antarctic ten times over at Emma's unasked for interruption.

"Doctorate," Regina supplied without hesitation, receiving one groan and more of that annoying cackle that grated on Regina's nerves when she wasn't in the mood for immaturity. "Stay on topic, Miss Swan." The blonde settled down and nodded, waiting for Regina to get on with it.

"If I catch you with that girl again, you won't only be stuck at home handling any and every chore I can think of, but I will hide your gaming consoles in my vault until I see that diploma as well," she threatened, standing up from the table, passing a glare on over at Emma for yet again not having her back. Her dark eyes whipped in Henry's direction. "I will allow you to go to Nick's tonight, only because I promised his mother so she can have some peace from dealing with him and her newborn. You are to be home no later than 11." They both watched Regina's retreating back as she made her way into the kitchen. Henry shrugged and looked at his other mother.

"She might be madder at you than me," he said on a smug grin. Emma finished her beer and got up herself.

"Oh yeah? Maybe you should try to get to Nick's while she's distracted and doesn't have time to change her mind. I'll go and calm down Miss Mount Vesuvius if we expect any peace tonight." Henry didn't need to be told twice. He about bolted from his seat and up the stairs to safety to grab his bag and walk to Nick's.

She tossed her empty beer bottle into the trash, spotting Regina washing their dishes. Silently, Emma took up residence on the right side of the sink, picking up the towel to dry the dishes as Regina handed them to her. They worked in silence, but Emma could still feel the tension of Regina's disappointment. Even if she hadn't, the furious way Regina scrubbed the pans would have been an indication. "What did that pan ever do to you," Emma couldn't help but ask in amusement.

Regina continued scrubbing as she answered in a matter of fact manner, "Just imagining this being your face, dear." Emma stiffened.

"I do like it rough," Emma admitted as she placed the pan with the others - knowing that Regina had a place for everything and everything should always be in its place. Regina shook her head as she drained the water and washed and dried her hands. Henry tried his best not to be caught virtually running past the kitchen.

"11 o'clock, Henry," Regina called out.

"Yeah, 11. Got it mom," their son yelled back before the door closed behind him.

"Emma," she said in a tone that told Emma she was about to be reprimanded. "Would you like some cider?" The question was clearly rhetorical as the brunette pivoted on her heels and made her way to her study. Emma washed and dried her hands and prepared herself for whatever fresh hell was going to be unleashed on her for being a terrible parent. She could almost hear the death march theme as she made her way down the hallway. When she illuminated the doorway, she could spot Regina already pouring the rich brown liquid into two glasses, but she mostly saw the way Regina's ass looked in that tight dress - could an ass be any more round, perfect, squeezable and slappable? No, no it cannot, Emma answered her own silent question.

"Do not linger in the doorway, Miss Swan. Lurking is creepy." Emma stepped through the door, silently shaking her head. Regina would never pass up an opportunity to belittle her. She liked to think it was foreplay, but was most likely just Regina's stubborn and mule-like personality.

Oooo," Emma cooed. "I do like it when a woman dresses me down instead of undressing me," she quipped. Emma's comments had become more and more flirty the past few years. She figured Regina knew she was joking - or more so, she hoped Regina thought she was kidding, while Emma was pretty sure she would let Regina belittle her easily while dressed in nothing but her fuck me heels and red lipstick. When Regina turned around, both full glasses in hand, Emma wished she could turn back time and figure out if she had said those thoughts out loud - Regina's expression made her think that she either had said her dirty thoughts out loud or Regina was a mind reader. The look settled into Emma's panties - not all that comfortably. The sensation was about to get so much stronger, if the storm brewing behind whisky eyes was any indication.

"Let's get something straight here, Miss Swan." Here it comes, the end of my life, Emma breathed inwardly, holding it in for dear life. "I have been raising our son since he was in diapers. We have agreed to share responsibility that you once threw away," the words were the slap that Regina intended them to be as Emma winced, face reddening in indignation. "And our son will not ruin his life over a night of fun. Are we in agreement," Regina waited, not yet stepping close enough to hand Emma her drink nor had Emma stepped far enough away from the door to reach it herself.

"Go ahead and say it, Regina," Emma said between clenched teeth. Regina's smile turned almost nasty.

"Say what, Miss Swan," Regina said, taking a sip from her glass, still not offering Emma hers in the process.

"You know what you were going to say! I don't need to do it for you," Emma crossed her arms over her chest. Regina looked like the cat who ate the mouse, too damned pleased with her haughty self.

"Oh, but I want to make sure you remember how embarrassing it is so that our son doesn't go through the same thing," the brunette said casually, as if she wasn't calling Emma an irresponsible ex-criminal.

"Wanting to fuck girls his own age is hardly a crime, Madam Mayor, and I don't think we have to worry about Violet, or any other girl, giving birth to our grandchild in a prison cell. God, Regina! You certainly go below the belt when you feel threatened," Emma groused.

Regina lifted a hand, glass still firmly in her palm as she pointed a finger at Emma from across the study. "I know who our son is and I know he has been raised well enough not to make that mistake! That's not to say one of these little sirens won't stick him with a child and have him working at Granny's before he's even eighteen!" Emma was about tired of her young adult choices being tossed back at her whenever Regina felt like being a bitch. She charged forward, getting into Regina's face. She was so close, she could reach up and cup both glasses in her hands, but she kept both arms stiffly at her sides. Regina neither flinched nor reacted to Emma's new proximity.

"Maybe if he didn't have such an overbearing mother, he would feel free enough to discuss these things with you, but you're about as suffocating as a Boa Constrictor with arms," Emma said, just as calmly as could be, though her green eyes were narrowed. Regina's nostrils flared, her eyes darkening. "And, so what? If he happens to get a girl pregnant, we'll figure it out. I don't think we have to worry about that!"

Regina gave Emma the most patronizing look and the blonde wanted to slap it right off of her face.

"Miss Swan," she said, breezily. "I suggest you keep your mouth closed or-" she was unable to finish as Emma was nose to nose with her, invading her space and filling her nostrils with the scent of cinnamon and vanilla that she had come to know as Emma.

"Or what? You'll take away my gaming consoles? Turn me into a rat? Or worse, make me have to listen to your lectures from your pedestal, Your Highness? I guess not having any subjects to kiss your stuck up ass has made you crazy." Regina turned and set the glasses of cider on the table, hands resting on her hips as she turned back to Emma.

"So, you think I'm cute," Regina said out of the blue, her tone eerily neutral. Emma's eyes bulged, feeling the whiplash of Regina's ever changing moods.

"What...what the hell topic are we on by now," Emma felt almost physically off balance. Regina just studied the blonde patiently, as if waiting for her to connect the dots.

"You think I'm cute when I'm angry? Well, get ready because I'm about to be GORGEOUS!" The brunette's lips curled into a snarl as she jabbed a finger into Emma's chest, her eyes whirlpools of irascibility. For the second time that day, she felt the backs of her knees hitting a couch, causing her to fall over and she almost wanted to flail like a child at being forced into such a vulnerable position. Regina loomed over her, making it impossible to sit up without basically head butting the mayor.

"I may have cursed this town, but everything, everything that I've done in the past fifteen years has been for Henry! He will have a better future than either of us, so, either you get behind me, Miss Swan, or I will be forced to-" she never finished the sentence, her words muffled against pale, thin lips. Regina went rigid in shock as Emma's lips left hers. The grin curved those thin lips upward.

"...I think I'll take the 'get behind you' option," she husked out.

They were at a standstill -

Regina's eyes locked on Emma's watching the blow out of her pupils. The darkness in Regina's own eyes changed, making Emma's pussy clench. They stayed in the same position for what felt like hours, Regina's body leaned over an almost prone Emma. Not a single thing in the study moved until Regina was suddenly on Emma, their lips locking, Regina's hands grabbing, roughly. There was a struggle for dominance, Emma trying to force Regina against her body from the bottom, wanting to feel every bit of her at once. Regina pressed Emma down, hard, with a thrust of her hips before shoving a knee between both of Emma's to nudge her legs apart.

The brunette settled onto the couch, nestled between Emma's legs, staring down at the blonde like she hadn't seen food or water in a desert she'd been wandering for weeks. The way Emma was looking up at her in return was no less hungry. Their lips crashed together again, Regina's hands yanking at the blonde curls at the base of Emma's skull. The rough hair pulling made Emma moan into the confines of Regina's mouth, her back arching. Regina smiled against Emma's lips - looks like the savior did like it rough.

Regina trailed kisses up Emma's collarbone, placing a bite where her shoulder joined her neck. Emma moaned, her hand sliding down Regina's back, grabbing a handful of ass and dress. Regina's breath hitched, feeling Emma's stubby nails digging into her skin, even through the cloth of her dress.

Their lips locked together again, Regina started a slow grind of her hips against Emma's center, concealed by her jeans. Both groaned in frustration before Regina's hand was under her shirt, running fingers down her toned abs. She had always found Emma Swan sexually attractive since the moment she had the nerve to land on her doorstep. The want and need to drag her nails down that tight stomach or grip those biceps had come upon her so often that she indulged in those actions now, dismissing the knowing smirk that the blonde was wearing.

She tugged Emma's shirt up, barely giving the woman time to lift her arms up so she could pull it all of the way off, leaving her in a red bra and jeans. Regina's eyes swept over Emma's new state of dress, moving onto her knees on the couch to take her time memorizing her. Emma's hand slid up one of Regina's thighs, intent on ridding the older woman of her dress.

"Ow," she complained as Regina smacked her hand away. "You can strip me but you get to stay fully clothed," Emma huffed in many flavors of frustration. Regina only laughed, the sound might as well have been a tongue stroking up and down Emma's sodden folds; her panties becoming an uncomfortable reminder that she had wanted to fuck Regina Mills for so long that she couldn't remember a time before then.

"Miss Swan," her voice seemed to have dropped even more octaves. "...make no mistake, I am still absolutely furious with you."

Emma looked at her incredulously. "Only you could be mad and horny at the same time," she accused. Regina reached forward and pinched one of Emma's nipples through her bra and was instantly rewarded by a hiss of pain that only made the blonde's look of lust sharper, more dangerous. Good, Regina thought. She wanted Emma so turned on that she would be begging for Regina to fuck her into, if not through the couch.

"This once, I'll oblige you," the dark haired temptress purred. She moved off of the couch slowly, standing before Emma. She reached behind her and began to unfasten the dress. Emma watched the fabric fall to the floor, puddling at Regina's high heeled feet.

"Fuck," Emma couldn't even breathe as her eyes drank in the exapanse of tanned skin, the more tantalizing bits barely covered by a lacy black bra and a tiny, scandalous matching thong. Emma was done. That was it. She probably could just come laying there on the couch, the beautiful, evil, stunning former queen staring at her like she was going to consume her for the rest of their lives. Regina made to step out of her heels and Emma stopped her immediately. "Oh, no, no, no. Those stay on." Regina's laugh was just as evil of a tongue stroke again, making Emma's back arch without even needing to be touched. Regina wasn't surprised - she damned well knew she had that kind of power over men and women.

"I'm finding out all sorts of fetishes of yours today," she said, moving back onto the couch, stealing Emma's breath away. Regina's hand came to rest on the fly of Emma's jeans, unclasping them before slowly taking possession of the zipper, dragging it down so slowly that Emma could swear that it went on for hours and was the only damned sound in the room since she couldn't fucking breathe. Emma was ready to tear her damned jeans off, toss them all the way to Timbuktu and be done with them forever more, but Regina stopped Emma's frantic hands from doing just that.

"Ah, in such a rush," Regina teased, as if both of them hadn't been ready to fuck each other into eternity. Emma scoffed.

"You're going to give me blue clit," Emma said, her anger resurfacing. "Just tease me with a strip show and then expect me not to want to jump all over you? Is this your payback," she asked in her frustration, only making Regina's devilish grin grow more devious.

"Or, you can just be quiet, Miss Swan. You annoy me even once, and I will leave you with blue clit," Regina suggested, tasting the last two words and their vulgarity and finding them bitter yet arousing. Her hand dipped into the loosened jeans, making a tantalizing dance of a rhythm up the length of her slit through her soaked panties. All anger was immediately forgotten as Regina urged Emma's pants down with her free hand, the blonde sitting up for a moment to kick off her boots to wherever the hell they felt like landing and then dragging her pants down until she could pull them off and drop them.

Now that they were both similarly unclothed, Emma pulled Regina into her arms, giving in to the strong desire to take possession of her lips once more. She was rebuffed...again. Emma should have known Regina would find a way to punish her while still rewarding her in the end. She hoped anyway. Regina pushed Emma onto her back and trailed a hand up her taut stomach, pressing their lips together again. Their kiss was slow and curious yet still heated. Regina teased a finger under the strap of Emma's bra, moving horizontally until the strap slid down a pale shoulder. She did the same with the other before tugging the bra down, not unclasping it fully just yet as Emma's breasts and erect, hard nipples came into view. Her almost black eyes stayed glued to Emma's as her talented tongue slipped out from between her lips and flicked, quickly and lightly along a hardened peak. The moan that erupted from the simple action was wanton and loud.

Regina smiled appreciatively at the blonde bombshell underneath her. She dipped her head again and sucked a hard bud between her lips and tongue, grazing her teeth over it before sucking roughly. Emma's eyes squeezed closed, unable to believe the situation they found themselves in - she certainly was not complaining about it! Regina's mouth traveled to her other nipple, forcing a strangled cry from the blonde's lips. Her hands traveled slowly up Regina's curvaceous hips, exploring her body with her hands in the same slow, leisurely pace of Regina's kisses.

Her back arched, her hips moving in rhythm with Regina's slow suckling of her nipple, moving of their own volition. She watched, transfixed as Regina's kisses moved further down, grazing over perfectly taut and toned abdominal muscles. She could swear that Regina was doing this on purpose; touching her slowly and deliberately, yet lightly in an attempt to provoke her. The longer Regina moved as if she were outlining every ab muscle with her tongue was driving Emma crazy! "I'm not," she sputtered out on gasps. "I'm not fragile," she finally declared, urging the other woman to take her hard, though she didn't clarify that. She was already throbbing and needy and her body had moved from keeping her ego intact to wanting this woman she often hated to make her sore enough to walk with a wobble later.

Suddenly, Regina halted movement altogether, glaring down at Emma. She knew damned well she was moving slowly and gently, loving the way Emma's skin flushed and her darkened green eyes glared up at her in frustration. "Now, now, Swan," she purred. "I do not like to be rushed or directed," she said as she sat up, unclasping her bra and letting it fall to the floor as her breasts bounced free. Emma's eyes lasered in so hard that she almost went cross eyed - and Regina enjoyed every minute of the blonde's admiration and lust as the brunette fell back against the arm of the couch, hand cupping her own breast with a sharp intake of breath before she locked eyes with Emma, forcing the other woman to either watch Regina's hand descend or stare into her eyes that were pools of black, unrestrained, animal lust. In the end, her eyes were forced between Regina's legs as the lacy black thong was pulled down long, tanned legs, and pulled off until they also dropped to the floor.

Regina laid back against the couch, Emma only a few inches away, resting her foot on Emma's strong thigh as she parted her legs enough for the blonde to see just how soaked she was; folds glistening in swollen arousal. Emma was powerless to look away as Regina's fingers circled her own clit. The resulting moan made Emma's limbs go slack. It was breathy, unbridled and loud, buoyed on a gasp, as if the brunette was shocked at how good it felt; all while her eyes never left Emma's. Dark green watched as Regina's fingers circled, round and round, moan after moan; testing every bit of the blonde's control. What tattered remnants were left instantly fell away as Regina slipped not one, not two, but three fingers into herself. Emma imagined how those fingers felt with Regina's inner walls clenching in ecstasy against them.

Her eyes were trained on Regina's fingers thrusting inside of herself, wettly. Fuck this fucking unfucked nonsense, Emma thought as her jaw clinched tightly enough to become permanent. She almost ripped her own panties in her efforts to remove them. Finally free, she removed Regina's hand and dropped to her knees, pulling Regina away from the arm of the couch by tugging on her wrists, urging her to lean back against the couch with her feet on the floor. She let her own fingers slip into her. She began a steady pressing against her g-spot while her tongue roughly sucked her clit into her mouth. The thrusts of her fingers matched the efforts of her tongue - hard then easing up just a bit before increasing in intensity, over and over again. Regina spread her legs wider, five fingers slipping into wavy blonde hair; her moan rising at the same speed as her hips as her back arched. Emma couldn't stop the moans that constantly left her lips at Regina's perfectly intoxicating taste.

Emma lifted her eyes to look up at Regina, not wanting to miss the visual cues and not just indulging in the auditory. She let a finger of her free hand slide up Regina's inner thigh, raking her nails down the skin before two fingers drew a tight circle along her anus, teasing only briefly before she let the tip of her finger slip inside, echoing the motion of the fingers of her other hand thrusting into her pussy. The sudden bulging of Regina's eyes would have been comical if Emma could have seen it, face pressed between the brunette's legs, tongue greedily sucking her clit into her mouth at steady, strong intervals.

Regina was quickly a trembling, confused mess as sensations grabbed all of her senses at once. There were moments that Emma thought Regina was trying to speak, trying to say something, but it was quickly interrupted by the brunette's short breaths, pierced by cries of body shaking pleasure. The first orgasm rolled through her as a shock, the second making her smile like she had discovered that sex led to orgasms for the first time, and the third had her pushing the blonde away, only to be stopped by the fourth.

"Emma," she gasped. "If you don't let me fuck you right now, I will magic your hands tied," she finally got out. The blonde peered up from between widely spread thighs, the lower half of her face glistening with Regina's essence.

"Who's the one in a rush now," Emma smirked. Her laughter was immediately silenced as she found Regina's high heeled foot pressed between her breasts. The brunette's voice had gone from weak with orgasm to dark with intent.

"You're not fragile, you say," she growled. She gave a push with her leg, watching as Emma's back hit the floor. Before Emma could right herself, Regina had straddled her, eyes wild and purposeful. Emma felt moisture dribble down her inner thighs, the scent of her arousal sharp. There was no way Regina could miss just how badly she needed to be fucked. This brought a smile to tan features.

"Going somewhere, Swan," she rasped as she leaned down to nip at Emma's earlobe, trailing down until she grazed her teeth along her collarbone.

"Hey, no marking m-" she never got to finish as she felt sharp teeth sink into her skin. She bucked into Regina but Regina used the force of her hips to press the blonde back down to the threads of the rug. Regina would do whatever she damned well pleased, especially to her eager Swan, writhing under her like she was going to implode if her queen neglected her after so much teasing. A mischievous - yet always sexy - smirk emerged.

"How badly do you want to be fucked, Miss Swan?"

Emma sputtered suddenly. "...the fuck kind of question is that right now!? That's not water running down my leg right now!"

Regina had the gall to laugh.

Emma had a mind to buck this woman right off of her and sit on her face instead.

She never got a chance to make good on that promise as Regina's hand lifted, and with a snap, a thick, double sided dildo appeared in her hands. The moan that dragged itself from within the confines of Emma's throat couldn't be classified as anything but lust burning through like fire. Regina crawled off of the blonde, forcing herself not to comment on how quickly and eagerly Emma's legs fell open. She slid fingers up one pale thigh, spreading the moisture further down Emma's legs. "My my," she murmured. "That is certainly not water," she teased; answered quickly by a groan from the butt of her joke.

"Very funny-" Emma was interrupted yet again as Regina's fingers slid through her folds, tracing the length of her starved pussy. Her hips sought out more contact with the darker woman, wanting to feel any bit of Regina against her, inside her, atop her. Regina dipped two fingers inside slick heat, slowly pressing against Emma's g-spot - using it to control the bucking motion of her hips like it was a remote control.

Just as Emma's walls began to clench around her fingers in earnest, she slid them out and slipped them into her mouth, humming at the taste of her enemy turned sort of friend. She slid fingers through Emma's wetness again and began to stroke it along the dildo, watching Emma's eyes follow each motion, back and forth, back and forth, before she slipped one end of the dildo into herself, her sensitive and still wet pussy devouring the toy - Emma was almost sure she had left this realm.

Regina pressed her hips forward, watching the dildo spread Emma wide, both women moaning until their hips met, Emma's inner muscles sucking greedily. The first thrusts were deep, burying to the hilt. Their moans were in unison with each long, slow thrust. Regina leaned down and captured Emma's lips in a kiss as her hips began to speed up; fully aware that the sweet torture was a double edged sword and Emma's desparate cries threatened to make her come in a matter of seconds. They locked eyes, Regina's dark hair forming a curtain as she stayed hovering above the blonde, giving them a sort of small bubble where they were engulfed in each other, eyes locked, hard.

Both of their backs arched in a counter dance, their hips meeting in the middle as the toy brought them closer and closer to the edge, closer together. They seemed to communicate more with their bodies than anything else as strong thrusts became a bit more harried and unsteady. The moment came abruptly, hitting Regina first, seeming to shoot forth from her body and surge up Emma's core until she was coming around the toy so hard that she feared her muscles may never relax again; but loving the thickness buried deep inside of her with the brunette staring down at her, gasping and panting and crying out in ecstasy.

When they both fell back down from the highest of heights, Regina's forehead came to rest against Emma's.

"Holy shit," Emma said on a roughened whisper.

"Always, such a way with words," she chuckled hotly against Emma's lips, making the blonde steal a kiss from them both against her will and willingly.

"...but I was right," Emma suddenly smirked up at Regina, causing the brunette's brow to furrow.

"Right about what," she demanded, still refusing to pull out of the blonde or give her any space as she enjoyed the stillness and satisfaction that came with great sex.

"...you're cute when you're angry." She wasn't able to add much more when Regina's teeth sank into her neck.

"Regina!"

"I am not cute," Regina growled. "Cute is for small children and when you think you're being amusing."

"...are we seriously going to fight after having sex?"

"Are you going to insist on continuing to use such a childish word," Regina challenged, suddenly sitting up, the dildo shifting and causing both of their expressions to change for a moment. They glared for a moment before they both nodded in unison.

"...upstairs," Regina demanded as she pulled out of Emma and then groaned as she pulled the dildo from her swollen walls, standing to her feet. Emma had barely been free for a second before she was darting out of the study. Regina smirked, the purple swirl of smoke transporting her to the bed. Emma had barely made it to the stairs, already feeling the sharp tingle of magic used permeating her being.

She yelled up the stairs, "That's fucking cheating, Regina Mills!"

"And get up here and fuck me," Regina yelled back. Emma stopped two steps away from the top of the stairs. She would be in the room in a matter of seconds if she kept going.

"Fuck it," the blonde said as she disappeared in a swirl of white smoke.