"Haaah!? Purgatory!? Are you fucking serious!?"

"Hey, don't get mad at me, you brought this on yourself, you rude girl! Just be glad this generous goddess isn't sending you to hell. I'll come get you when you've finished doing your time. Now, get going already, I've got another soul waiting to meet me… pffft, what the heck, this next guy died in such a stupid way…"

And with that, the irritating blue-haired girl waved her hand, and suddenly I found myself in a vast space, empty except for a single door. Though I can already guess the outcome, I tried it anyway.

Rattle

Yep, locked.

"Tch. This is bullshit."

First, I died in a stupid motorcycle accident that wasn't even my fault, and now I'm trapped in here for who knows how long. What did I do to deserve this?

I mean, sure, I've been hanging out with delinquents, but it's not like I've committed any serious crimes. Plus, I maintained decent grades and helped that old lady next door with her mail every day. My karma should still be above neutral, right?

… no, wait. I can think of one thing… or rather, one person that I'd horribly wronged.

"Heh, I wonder if he'll be sad when he hears that I died… as if."

I remember hearing somewhere that the deepest part of hell was reserved for betrayers and backstabbers. I silently thanked myself for keeping up enough good karma to avoid that fate.

Well, what's done is done. Let's focus on the present. I took stock of the situation again.

– I'm in Purgatory.

– Purgatory is fucking boring.

… and that about sums it up.

What the hell do I do now?

How long has it been now? Days? Weeks? Months?

I can't even tell. Nothing happens here. I don't eat or sleep, so there's nothing to break the monotony.

If purgatory is this bad, I can't imagine how bad hell is.

Jeez, how much longer am I going to be stuck here?

Click

… it feels like it's been years now. Or maybe just a few weeks? It's all the same anyway.

Purgatory is supposed to clean my soul or whatever, right?

"Hey, am I clean now!?"

Naturally, there was no response. That blue-haired bitch, when is she going to come and get me?

Having literally nothing else to do, I tried the door again.

Creak

… eh?

It opened?

Is it supposed to open?

I was supposed to wait for her, right?

I slowly peeked out. On the other side of the door was a plain-looking hallway.

I didn't see anyone, so I crept out and closed the door behind me. I walked down to the other end of the hallway, where there was a bigger door.

Putting my ear against it, I listened closely.

"– serious!? Why would I go there!?"

Voices. So, there are people here.

"Please reconsider. You'd be helping a lot of people!"

Eh? This isn't that blue bitch's voice. This is someone else.

"Screw that! Just send me to heaven!"

"… very well. Off you go!"

I heard a strange whoosh sound, then silence.

…

… is she still there?

"… looks like I lost another one. How did Aqua-sama get so many to agree?"

She's still there.

"Oh well, I'll get some ice cream and read one of Aqua-sama's manga. That always cheers me up!"

I heard footsteps.

Shit, she's not coming here, is she? Please let there be another door in that room.

Tap tap tap

… oh, thank god, she's moving away. I heard the open and close of a door. After waiting a minute to make sure she wasn't coming back, I opened the door I was hiding behind and entered the room.

It was an empty room, with nothing but an office desk and two chairs, one behind the desk and one in front of it.

Wait a sec. This is the room where I met that blue bitch. I wonder where she went off to.

Well, if I hang around here, I'll probably be caught. And I guess I'd be punished for leaving purgatory on my own. I need to find a way out.

… though, if this is the afterlife, I'm not exactly sure where "out" would be. I went over to the desk and took a look at the piece of paper sitting on top of it.

"Let's see… reincarnation terms and conditions? Eh, reincarnation's actually a thing?"

I read the paper thoroughly. Apparently, this isn't just being reborn. It's being reborn in another world, a world of magic and monsters.

Heh, it's just like those light novels he used to show me… dammit, why am I thinking about that now? I need to hurry before someone comes in here. This world seems like a cool place, so I'll go there.

The paper didn't say how the process worked, so I opened a drawer in the desk.

"Reincarnation System Tutorial for Anyone Covering for the Great Aqua-sama While She's on Vacation: So Easy, Even a Helpless Silver-haired Kouhai Can Do It!"

… this seems like what I'm looking for, though for some reason the tone of that title pisses me off. I pored over the instructions.

"Okay now… yada yada… let them choose a cheat… yada yada… press the blue button to activate the magic circle and send them off… seems simple enough. That button is right here in the drawer, and the cheats are… here, in this side drawer."

The smaller drawer was filled with pieces of paper, each describing a superpower or powerful item.

"Divine Spear Rhongomyniad, Telekinesis power, Super Speed power, Boots of Flight… the hell, aren't these all super overpowered?"

I haven't played video games since… well, since some time ago, but even I can tell these were all game-breaking powers. I placed the ones I was holding back in the drawer and then put my hand on my chin as I analyzed my choices.

These are all so good, it'd be hard to choose just one… wait, who says I have to choose just one? Why don't I just–

"Okay, you can do this! You can definitely convince this next one! Just highlight how much fun that world is!"

Shit! She's back already!? Her voice was coming from beyond the door opposite the one I entered this room through. It was rapidly getting closer.

"Let's see… the hot springs! I'll tell them about the wonderful hot springs… no, wait, they might be turned off when I tell them about the Axis Cult…"

She's practically on the other side of the door now!

Dammit, no time to think! I grabbed a random handful of cheat papers and pressed the button in the main drawer.

A circle of light appeared around my feet.

Rattle

The door's handle moved. Right before it opened, my vision went white.

"Where the fuck am I now… eh? Hey, hey, is this really another world!?"

Looking around me, I saw what appeared just like those towns I saw in those RPGs back then. Western-style medieval buildings, and people are walking around in strange clothing, some carrying weapons and others carrying what could only be magic staves.

"No way… this is fucking awesome! Kiriya lives again, bitches!"

"Hey, lady with the weird hat! Shut up over there!"

Weird hat? I touched my head. Sure enough, there was something on it. Was this one of the cheats I grabbed?

I pulled it off to look at it.

…

It was a fedora.

Of all things, a fedora.

It better have a seriously good power.

Wait, what else do I have on me?

My clothes are the same as what I died in: ripped jeans, t-shirt, a leather jacket, and motorcycle boots. Ah, my belt is different. It has something hanging on it… A sword?

Sweet, I got a magic sword! I unsheathed it… the hell?

It's got no edge! It's just a blunt stick of metal!

Actually, it kinda reminds me of a pipe, so it's not too bad.

I didn't have any other weird items, so I'm guessing the rest of the cheats I grabbed were powers.

… hold on, isn't it a problem if I don't know what any of these cheats do?

Am I actually an idiot?

"Hey, lady over there! You must be new in town, huh?"

I looked over at the grating voice. A blond thug-looking guy with red eyes and a mole on his face was approaching me.

He kinda reminds me of that senpai who gave me my first motorcycle ride years ago… that senpai that I later found out was a serial cheater.

Great, now I'm pissed.

"The name's Dust. Listen, you might not know this, but I kinda run things around here, so since you're new you should pay tribute by buying me a meal."

Ah, so even in this fantasy world there are still delinquents. I'd think that I'd feel kinship meeting one, but I can't help but feel repulsed by this guy. He even reeks of alcohol. Rather than a delinquent, he seems like a straight-up piece of trash.

"Yeah, sorry, buddy, but I'm not interested, so go screw off."

He seemed a bit taken aback. He must not have been expecting me to stand up to him.

"… maybe I wasn't clear. This is a necessary rite of passage, you don't have a choi–"

WHAM

I landed a solid kick right in his solar plexus, sending him sprawling on the ground.

"Y-You bitch!"

He stumbled to his feet, then drew the sword he was carrying. Even though he was armed, I assumed that he was too inebriated to put up a real fight, which was why I didn't hold back with my kick.

Looking at him now, though, his stance is sturdier than I expected. Crap, I think I might've underestimated this guy.

I raised my pipe-sword up.

"You think I won't hit a girl? I'll have you know I'm a man of true gender equality, just like my buddy Kazuma! Now, get ready fo– owowow! Lynn, let go of my ear!"

"The heck do you think you're doing? Sorry, miss, I'll take care of him. Now come on, you dumb drunk!"

"Geh, fine. She's not my type anyway."

The brown-haired girl apologized for Dust and pulled him away, but I was too stunned to respond.

Did… did he say… Kazuma?

"Hello, and welcome to the Adventurer's Guild. Are you here to–"

"Yeah, thanks, but before that, can you tell me if there's someone named Satou Kazuma around here?"

The busty guild woman seemed a bit surprised at my inquiry.

"No, I'm afraid not."

I let out a sigh of relief.

"Oh, thank go–"

"Satou Kazuma is currently on a trip to see a noble. Something about obtaining an ingredient for medicine, I believe."

"Fuck."

He really is here? Wait, that must mean he died in Japan, right? How'd he die if he never left his room… no, forget that.

What matters is that I avoid him at all costs.

"What's the quickest way to get out of this country?"

"Eh? Erm, I suppose that would be to take a carriage to Elroad–"

"Great, and how much is that?"

"It's a long journey, so you'd have to personally commission someone to take you."

… that sounds expensive. Wait, hold on. Do I even have money?

I reached into my pocket. I had a few 100-yen coins, but that's probably not legal tender here, is it?

"… how can I earn some money?"

The woman smiled politely.

"Well, since you're armed, you probably want to register as an adventurer, right? The registration fee is 1,000 eris."

The fuck is an eris?

"… is there any way to register if I don't have money?"

She seemed surprised.

"You have a weapon, but don't have even 1,000 eris?"

I'm guessing most people who get reincarnated here are given starting money. Maybe I missed a step when I did it myself?

The woman put on a thoughtful expression.

"Hmm… how about this. I'll pay the fee for you, and in exchange you can do me a favor."

"Alright, what do you need?"

She pointed to a corner of the guild.

"See that masked man sitting over there?"

The man in question was wearing a bizarre black and white mask and a well-made suit. Near him was a sign saying something about a Consultation Corner.

Wait, I can read that? Come to think of it, I could read the sign on this guild too.

The reincarnation must've given me knowledge of the language here.

"Yeah, I see him. He causing you trouble?"

My hand went to my pipe-sword's hilt as I said that.

The guild woman seemed startled at my aggressive response.

"Nono, it's not like that!"

"Ah, so he's your man then?"

"Gods forbid that."

"Well, then what's the deal?"

She beckoned me closer, then whispered into my ear.

"… mhm… mhm… eh? Really? Why not just ask him yourself? … I mean, sure, I'll do it…"

After receiving her request, I approached the masked man.

"Yo–"

"Moi has it right here."

Before I could even ask, the man handed me the good luck charm that the guild woman had lost. Apparently, she went out drinking with this guy and misplaced it, and was too embarrassed to ask him about it herself, for some reason.

"… well that was easy. Later–"

"Hold on just a second there, young woman who wants to flee because she's afraid to face her past."

What did he just say?

I stopped, and turned back to face him.

"What did you just say?"

He simply smiled at me.

"Pardon, moi has forgotten to introduce myself. Moi is the archdevil that sees through all, Vanir! And this is my consultation corner. Would thou like to try my services? Since thou art overflowing with such powerful dark emotions, moi shall offer thee a free session as thanks."

Did he say he was an archdevil? He's bullshitting me, right? There's no way an actual devil would be sitting in the Adventurer's Guild, right?

… though, I am a bit bothered by how he seems to see right into me.

"… alright, I'll bite. What advice does the all-seeing masked weirdo have for me?"

He folded his hands and rested his chin on them.

"Thou wishes to flee this country after learning the person thou feared meeting most lives here. Thou art hoping that running away will let thee forget thy past mistakes, much like how thee rode recklessly in the streets back in thy previous life for the same reason."

"Wait, what!? How do you know about that!?"

"Did thee already forget that moi is all-seeing? Fuhaha, thy feelings of shame upon being reminded of thy foolishness is simply delectable! Fuhaha!"

This guy is pissing me off. Now that I'm close to him, though, I can feel a strong pressure coming off of him. I don't think things would end well for me if I picked a fight.

"Allow moi to give thee this advice, girl who has become too violent in the past few years to be considered attractive by thy peers."

"Hey!"

He stopped smiling, and put on a serious expression.

"The more thou tries to flee from thy past, the more thou will suffer. Only by facing it head-on will thou find peace."

The hell, that sounds like a generic inspirational quote I'd hear on my mom's favorite radio show.

… but this guy does seem like the real deal.

"… I'll think about it."

I turned away again and started making my way back to the guild counter.

"Fuhaha! Moi is truly glad thou has come here, girl! Moi predicts that thou will provide moi with many dark emotions in the future! Fuhaha!"

Does that jerk ever stop laughing?

After getting back to the counter and returning the charm, the guild woman helped me through the adventurer registration process.

First, I had to fill out my measurements. Height 163 cm, weight 50 kg. Sixteen years old, black hair and eyes…

"Okay, now touch this card. This will display the strength of each of your abilities for reference when choosing your job. After accumulating skill points, you can learn skills that are available for your job."

Ah, this world really is just like an RPG, huh.

"All right, thank you. Akechi Kiriya-san, right? Let's see… Strength and intelligence are average. Vitality, agility and speed are all excellent. Luck is… a bit below average, but not by too much. And your magic is… er, rock-bottom."

Figures. I get sent to a world of magic and I can't even use magic. Below average luck my ass, this is shit luck.

"Your stats are pretty good for both warrior-type and thief-type jobs. I'd recommend… eh? What's this?"

She suddenly looked surprised for some reason.

"It says here you have the Riding skill, and at a high level."

That's probably from my experience riding motorcycles in my past life.

"With this, you have the qualifications for the Cavalier job! That's something that's normally only obtainable by nobles who can afford horses and are taught to ride them from a young age."

Uh, I don't think riding a bike and riding a horse are the same. Then again, this is a fantasy world. I should stop trying to apply Earth logic to it.

"Okay, then I'll take that job."

"Eh, are you sure? Even if you qualify, considering that you don't have–"

"Hey, I'll be fine, I know what I'm doing."

"… alright then."

And with that, I was registered as an adventurer.

I stepped outside of the guild and looked at my new adventurer's card. It has my stats and skills on it, just like a status page in an RPG.

At the top was my name, and nest to it was my job: the rare and powerful Cavalier job, that few outside the nobility have acquired.

A job that excels in mounted combat…

…

… oh. Now I see why she was looking at me funny.

I might actually be an idiot.

I took stock of my situation.

– I'm a mounted fighter who doesn't have a horse.

– My current monetary balance in this world is a big fat zero.

– Kazuma, the one person I wanted to avoid, lives here and will probably return not too long from now.

– I have two weird items and a bunch of unknown powers, none of which I know how to utilize.

…

Yep. I can tell this new life is going to be absolutely fan-fucking-tastic.