Long Goodnight

What's the hardest part for Elsa when they do this?

Is it the denial? The desire? The anger at herself for always giving in? Or is it her commitment to hide this secret?

No...the hardest part for Elsa is that, ever since the first time, she always told herself it was the last time. And yet, everytime she came home, everytime they were alone, she would find herself in her little sister's room. Anna's room. She finds herself placing her hands on the door, right in the center of the sunflower wood carving, and doing the knock they came up with as kids.

And they do things that no two sisters ever should.

"Right there," Anna breathes. Right into her older sister's ear, so that only she gets to hear these words. Only Elsa gets to know what she's capable of doing to the girl that she used to take bubble baths with.

The pounding in her ears can't drown those words out. Her guilt battles with her pride over being able to work her fingers into Anna's center with sickening precision. Exploring familiar territory, fingertips knowing exactly where they need to press.

Elsa groans, knowing that the words she needs to say are right on the tip of her tongue. She needs to tell Anna that this has to stop, that they can't keep doing this, that this is wrong. She needs to say that as much as she loves this, she loves her sister more. And this sneaking around, this forbidden sin that they've been committing over and over again, it's going to hurt them.

They've never talked about this before, not even during those days when they're alone and have all the time in the world to talk. They exchange flustered glances, change the subject, and pretend that they're sisters and nothing else.

They do everything except talk.

Because if they talk, then this becomes a problem. And if it becomes a problem, then there has to be a solution. And they both know that the solution is...to stop.

Do they want that? Does Anna want that? Does Elsa want that?

No, Elsa doesn't want that. But she has to be the older sister and say that it has to stop. It's the only solution, for the sake of their future and their sanity.

She groans, the words right on the tip of her tongue. Anna places her hands on her naked back, kneading and caressing the muscles right below her shoulder blades.

"Agh! Yes...Elsa…"

Anna says her name as if it's the most beautiful word in existence, it tends to the flame burning inside the blonde.

This is her chance, Elsa reasons, her only opportunity to say that this needs to stop. Before they go too far again, before they drown in the essence of this wonderful crime. She lifts up just a little bit, her ear burns from the loss of the redhead's lips, and looks at her dear, sweet Anna.

No! Not her Anna. This is her sister, Anna.

Her sister's glazed-over eyes look at her with both lust and love- she hopes- but also with fear. She has to have seen this coming, every time they're together, Anna's always looked at her with this fear that she's about to say it needs to end.

With her free hand, Elsa cups her younger sister's cheek. Anna kisses her thumb tenderly, and nuzzles into her palm. And while her fingers continue to work in and out, Elsa presses her forehead onto Anna's and speaks: "You're mine."

Of course Elsa can't say it. She couldn't say it after the first time, what made her think she could say it during the tenth time?

And Anna- oh! She whimpers and shudders, trails one hand down Elsa's back and puts another on her cheek. There's a relief, clear as day, in those deep blue eyes, that makes Elsa think the guilt is one-sided. "I'm only yours," Anna responds before pulling her older sister closer to kiss her.

That's the difference between them. Elsa second-guessed herself, she had to make sure that every move was the right one. Anna was impulsive, doing the first thing that came to mind. She didn't have to think about what would feel good for Elsa, she just did. Elsa was tender, treating her little sister's body like a temple that needed to be left better than when she entered it. Anna pressed, kneaded, and sometimes even bit when they knew their parents wouldn't be back until the marks healed.

What they had in common though, was that neither of them could hide their emotions.

Elsa knew that Anna was just as uncertain about this as she was. Anna struggled with hiding her lack of sleep from their parents, she would hold Elsa for a long time after orgasming, and she never initiated. She would happily reciprocate, and enjoyed watching her older sister squirm under her fingers and tongue, but she never made the first move.

Anna swiped her tongue across Elsa's bottom lip, seeking entrance into her mouth. The blonde parted her lips, and allowed that skillful tongue to dance with hers. Before ending the sloppy, wet kiss, Anna bit and tugged on Elsa's bottom lip, sending shivers from the top of her head to the pit of her stomach.

Auburn locks of hair cascade around the pillow underneath Anna as she tilts her head back. Her breathing is heavier, quicker, as she moans the word: "Faster."

And Elsa obliges. She dives down and kisses Anna's neck, adjusting her wrist so that she could comfortably curl her fingers and move them faster. A hand grabs at her hair, and when Anna breathes "Oh yes, Elsa." she can feel the words start from her throat.

"Yes. Please. Yes Elsa, yes."

Elsa hits the right spot with her fingers, and Anna grinds her knee against Elsa's center.

"Fuck," Elsa hisses.

Anna lets out a low chuckle, sexier than it should be, "Feels good?"

"Yesss…"

The redhead lifts up her hips, the blonde lowers her own. More skin on skin, closer than sisters should be. And the pleasure pushes away the guilt when Elsa wraps her arm around Anna's hip and pumps her fingers even faster.

"Just like that, Elsa. Oh god. Just like- ah!"

Elsa begins to grind against her sister's knee as she feels her sister grind against her fingers. Whatever one does, the other mimics. Two sisters, but one mind.

Elsa leans in for a kiss, Anna does the same. The younger girl's breaths are erratic, she yelps into her sister's mouth when a thumb begins to rub on her clit. And there's no more guilt, not anymore. Right now, Elsa doesn't give a shit about right or wrong, all she wants to do is make Anna come.

Fingers in and out, a thumb circling round and round, a knee moving back and forth, tiny yelps and moans.

And then it happens.

Anna lets out whining moans into her sister's mouth until her orgasm reaches its peak. "Elsa…" she whispers as she nuzzles into the blonde's neck and holds her even tighter. Her orgasms are a full-body ordeal, she stiffens and all her movements cease except for the slowing of her hips.

Elsa lets out a low moan of her own as she revels in her work. It's wonderful, and she wants to do it over and over again. She loves her sister and loves what she can do to her, even when the guilt finally settles in once again.

She takes her fingers out slowly and wipes them on the sheets, earning another small whimper from Anna who still hasn't let go. It's always like this and Elsa wonders if this is Anna's way of keeping her own guilt at bay. Maybe she needs to hold Elsa this tightly to remind herself that this isn't wrong.

When Anna does finally let go, she gives Elsa quick yet tender kisses on her neck to express her gratitude. Elsa strokes her hair lovingly, waiting to hear her younger sister speak.

It's...she hates the silence, that post-orgasm silence that brings her back down to Earth. It gets her mind thinking again, now that there's nothing else she's doing.

She knows that this is the next best time to tell Anna they should stop.

They have to, they really can't keep doing this. She can't keep her away from someone who could love her without hiding it. Someone...better?

But then Anna's knee starts moving again, grinding against her center, and she knows that the time's passed again. Well, she can still say that it's time to stop, but it's always the same song and dance. She'll open her mouth while Anna's hands trail down to her hips to hold her down, and she'll say desperately: "Don't stop."

And Anna lets out that sweet chuckle, trailing kisses from her neck, to her collarbone, to her shoulder, and it'll be her turn to say: "You're mine."

And the moment has passed, the guilt is pushed aside again, Elsa's heart beats faster, and her body starts moving again.

All she wants now is her sister's touch.

It's only her knee, her fucking knee, but she already feels like she'll come just like this. Elsa's been so worked up from what she'd done to Anna, almost anything could send her over the edge.

Anna senses it, she pulls back loose blonde strands to whisper in her ear, "Already close?"

"Yes," Elsa says immediately. "God yes."

"Do you want it like this?"

"I-I...hah!"

There's another stark difference between them: Anna loved to tease.

She presses her sister down more onto her knee, hands now resting on her rear, slowing Elsa's eager movements. "What was that?"

Elsa looks at her sister and sees a coyness in her glazed-over eyes. It's clear that she won't move again until Elsa tells her what she wants to hear.

"More," Elsa says. "Please."

Anna bites her earlobe, causing the blonde on top to shudder, "More of what, Elsa?"

Through shallow breaths and needy kisses along her younger sister's freckled collarbone, Elsa's able to say, "More...you...touching."

Then lie down," Anna commands.

Eager to feel her sister's touch and affection once more, Elsa takes herself off the redhead's knee and rolls over onto her back. She's cold and lonely for just a second before Anna's on top, straddling her hips and kissing her.

It's absolute heaven feeling Anna's warm body against hers, feeling Anna's hands roaming her upper body, feeling Anna's hair bundled in her fingers, and feeling Anna's tongue exploring the inside of her mouth. But, again, her mind wanders.

Why can't she just enjoy these moments? They want each other, they love each other, but it still feels wrong. Why?!

She wonders how much Anna thinks about these things, but she knows she'll never ask. What they have going is good, she shouldn't ruin it with stupid questions and doubts.

And there's no denying the chemistry they have with each other. This fascinating connection and ability to make each other feel good, something that sisters shouldn't have. It makes Elsa wonder if this is a sick verdict from fate, like maybe this was always going to happen. Maybe that moment they shared two years ago- when they were laying in Anna's bed the night before Elsa went off to college and they kissed each other- was written in the stars.

One of Anna's hands travels down to her center, and she begins to see stars on the ceiling. She lifts up her hips, wanting more of the finger tracing a line along her folds.

Anna raises an eyebrow and coos, "So wet."

"Y-yeah," Elsa says in a pathetic attempt to respond, "I wonder- ah!" Anna's finger slips inside her, she always loved making Elsa squirm while she was trying to speak.

Anna giggles, "You were saying?" It feels so good to finally feel her sister inside her. Anna doesn't pull out, opting instead to circle it around her inner walls, driving Elsa even crazier as she hits the right spot over and over again. When she does pull out, it's fast and sudden and makes the older sister gasp.

But it's when Anna puts that slick finger in her mouth that really leaves her breathless.

"You taste amazing," her sister says, causing her to blush and look away. "I want more."

Anna begins to trail kisses down Elsa's body, starting from her cheek to her neck to in between her breasts until she reaches her older sister's abdomen. She places Elsa's legs on her shoulder, settling in between hesitant thighs- Elsa doesn't want to put her weight on her younger sister.

But she forgets that right now she's not in control, and the first swipe of Anna's tongue on her clit causes her to plant her feet on Anna's back. Her hips jerk up too, but Anna's quick to place her hands on Elsa's abdomen to keep her down.

After that bold first move, Anna's tongue slows and keeps away from her clit for the time being. She wants to draw this out. And it's not just about teasing Elsa, she really is infatuated by the way her sister feels, sounds, and tastes. Elsa goes back to college in two days and their parents come home tomorrow, it'll be a while before they can do this again.

If they do this again?

Elsa places one hand on Anna's head, and another over her eyes. She doesn't want to think about that, she just wants to feel good. Right now, that's what matters. And Anna knows how to make her feel good. When she can't see what her sister's doing, it heightens the touch of those fingers and the feel of her tongue licking up and down and-

"Ah-Anna!" She whines when her tongue hits her clit again and doesn't move away.

Anna giggles, sending vibrations around her core, and she teases a fingertip at her entrance. Not entering, not doing what Elsa needs her to do, just circling the skin around it. But even that is enough to drive Elsa crazy.

"Oh...oh yes…" Elsa tightens her grip on the auburn locks beneath her, knowing that it won't bother Anna since she has a bit of a thing for hair-pulling. In fact, it just makes Anna groan even louder.

After a frustrating eternity, Anna pushes two fingers inside of Elsa, but slows the circling of her tongue. She introduces one area of pleasure while denying her another, it's maddening. She sets a good pace with her fingers while Elsa does her best to hold on. Even with the shift in pleasure, she can feel herself getting embarrassingly close.

But she wouldn't dare tell Anna to slow down. When it comes to this, she knows Elsa better than Elsa knows herself. This truth is reinforced when Anna doesn't pull out her fingers and begins curling them against her walls.

"Anna!" She cries.

Her sister pulls her mouth away, which makes her gasp. "You're close, huh?"

Ashamed to say it out loud, Elsa just nods.

She feels the bed creak and the sheets under her shift. Soft lips kiss along each of her knuckles and Anna whispers into her ear, "Then let me take you there."

Anna's slinked back to between her legs in seconds, all that time her fingers never left Elsa's center. They start roaming inside her again, gradually picking up speed as Anna places her older sister's legs back on her shoulders and traps her clit in between her lips.

This sudden rush of pleasure overtakes Elsa and she places both her hands on Anna's head to steady herself. She wants this, she needs her sister, she needs these fingers and the tongue that she once turned blue after sneaking blue food coloring in Anna's water bottle.

Why would she take this away from either of them?

Anna's free hand reaches out to one of Elsa's and she squeezes it, telling her older sister to pull her hair harder. Elsa obliges, receiving a clit-vibrating moan for her efforts.

It's so much, almost too much, and the fact that Anna, her sister, can keep doing this to her every time is a testament to how much they care for each other. And that's not wrong, it can't be. Anna puts her hand back on her abdomen to keep her down, but Elsa crosses her legs to bring her sister closer to her center. It's a battle in which they're both fighting for the same thing: bringing Elsa over the edge.

And in the end, they both win.

Anna presses the tip of her tongue on her clit, and hooks her fingers inside as if to coax Elsa to give them what they both want. Elsa lasts maybe ten seconds against this new strategy.

"Aah! Aah! Ah-Anna!" she cries as she's given the privilege of an orgasm. Whereas her younger sister stiffens during her release, Elsa curls into herself. She lets out weak moans, pressing her hands onto her sister's head as she sits up as much as she can.

It doesn't hurt Anna when she does, or at least that's what she's been told. Anna says that she feels too proud of what she can do to feel the pain of being, well, basically suffocated.

As Elsa comes down from her orgasm, Anna slows and straightens her fingers and places soft, tender kisses on her clit. When she pulls her fingers out, Elsa ecks out a breathless yelp and releases her grasp on Anna's head. To show that she's okay, Anna places kisses along her slightly trembling thighs, bringing her legs down one by one off her shoulders.

Anna kisses her way back up Elsa's body, ending with a longer kiss on her damp forehead. Elsa wraps her arms around her sister's waist and kisses her shoulder. "Thank you…" she says softly.

The cleanup is quiet. Anna takes off the sheets and covers them under the rest of her laundry, and they both take showers in separate bathrooms. Elsa's shower is fast and cold, blasting herself with a hose would have had the same effect. She dries herself off and puts on fresh clothes, yet she still smells like Anna. No matter how cold the water is, that scent will linger.

It always does.

When she opens the bathroom door, the long goodnight continues.

She'll think about walking past Anna's door and just going to sleep, she'll give in and open it slowly, she'll see Anna's innocent, already sleeping form and be filled once again with guilt, she'll place a kiss on her forehead, and then she'll go back to her room where she tries not to cry herself to sleep.

Anna doesn't know about this part, she doesn't need to. She knows- they both know- how hard this is, but her little sister doesn't need to be burdened with the knowledge of how hard it truly is for her to keep doing this.

Under different circumstances, they wouldn't have this guillotine over their head and they could love each other freely. But the fact is that they're sisters, they shouldn't be doing this, and Elsa being the oldest should be the one that stops it. And she never does, and it keeps her up at night.

Tonight's...no different. She closes her eyes for a second and lets out a breath, it's time again.

Elsa walks two steps past Anna's door before that sickening magnetic force brings her back to it. She opens it slowly and sees her sister already asleep, body towards the door. With every step that brings her closer, she's reminded of memories of their childhood before this all began.

One step, and she remembers the first time they went ice-skating when Anna fell on her butt.

Another step, and she remembers when they played "Enchanted Forest" with army figures they found at a thrift store.

Another step, and she remembers when Anna stood on the kitchen table and proudly proclaimed that she would marry her someday.

One last step, and she remembers when they camped in their backyard, looking up at the stars and making up new constellations.

Anna's so peaceful when she sleeps, like there's nothing that could wake her. Elsa knows that at some point in the night, though, she'll have sprawled out on her bed, her hair will stick out everywhere, and half the blanket will be on the floor. She lets out a quiet giggle and kneels down to plant a soft kiss on her little sister's forehead, already she can feel the tears forming.

It's best that she gets out. Now.

But when Elsa turns around to leave, she hears a gasp and a hand grip her wrist. It makes her jump.

Elsa turns around and opens her mouth to speak, but Anna- eyes wide open and holding her wrist so tight that it almost hurts- beats her to it.

"Sleep here. Just for tonight."

Immediately, Elsa knows that she has to say no. There's no way she can let Anna see her cry. She sighs, "Anna-"

"Please. I don't…" Anna can't say the rest out loud, but her eyes say it for her. The fear and desperation make it clear as day in this dark room: Anna doesn't want to lose her.

She doesn't want to lose this.

Elsa knows that if she leaves this room, it truly is over. They go back to being just sisters, and hopefully in time this will all become some weird, fucked-up dream. But they'll both lose a partner, a lover, someone who can make them feel a way that no one else can.

But if she doesn't leave, then this continues. They'll have to keep up the charade, and probably find new and better ways to hide their sin. But they'll have each other, as sisters, partners, and lovers. And there will no longer be any doubts about how much they want this.

It's the hardest decision that Elsa has ever had to make. With one more look into her sister's pleading eyes, she sighs and gives her answer, "Okay."

Anna smiles, it's a simple and almost unnoticeable curling of her lips but it speaks volumes. Elsa steps over to the other side of the bed as her sister opens the blanket to invite her in and offers one of her two pillows.

Elsa lays down, settling into the bed and pulling over her share of the blanket. Anna lowers herself a little bit and rolls over, putting her arm across her sister's stomach and nestling onto the top of her chest. And it's then that Elsa realizes that this is what was missing. When they're like this, laying in bed as more than just sisters, it doesn't feel as wrong anymore. In fact, it almost feels right.

Almost.

Maybe in time, the guilt will go away entirely. Maybe in time, this won't be so hard. Who knows? All Elsa knows is this…

"Anna?"

"Yeah?"

"...I love you."

Anna lets out a calm, happy noise and holds her sister even tighter, "I love you too."

The long goodnight is over, probably for good. As hard as this might be for Elsa, for either of them, the love comes easy. And right now, that's enough.