Authors Note: AU - This was a really quick chapter that came out of the blue for me this morning, whilst I thinking about a completely different story. Hope you enjoy it!

The day of the service had been tough, she'd finally got home after a day of pleasantries, handshakes and sympathetic looks. She could almost feel the whispering, the speculation about her, she was no stranger to being the source of many rumours over the years and she was pretty sure her reaction to his death would not have helped. She sunk down into the couch kicking her heals off and taking a deep breath. Now the hard part begins she thought to herself, how could she carry on without him. She had barely spoken to Brian, he had tried to apologies had called several times, but nothing would repair the damage done to their marriage, to her image of him. Losing Michael would not be something that she could really gloss over and pretend she was ok about. She almost didn't answer the door, but eventually dragged herself out to open it when the knocking wouldn't stop.

"Hi" he said looking sheepish.

"Robbie, I don't want to see anyone" he shrugged

"I didn't want you to be alone tonight" he held up a bottle of whiskey. He knew Brian had let her down, and she was thankful that he hadn't told her 'I told you it was a mistake'. She thought for a second to protest, but she really didn't want to be alone tonight. She opened the door to let him in, he slipped his jacked off and hung it up, as if he belonged there.

"Robbie… I just want to say, thank you, you were….." she trailed off. He stepped forward to her and hugged her.

"I can't image how thought this is for you! I just want to help!" She broke off the hug and motioned for him to sit down whilst she got some glasses.

They drank for hours, she told him stories about Michael, stories she hadn't shared in years. "I can't believe he is gone" she blurted out almost from nowhere "I feel like I can't breathe". He moved next to her on the couch and pulled her into his chest. She sobbed into him feeling the embrace she had desperately wanted since the moment Stuart had told her that Michael was gone. "I loved him, Robbie! I never let myself go there, but now it's all I can think of." She simply squeezed her tighter. She looked up to him seeing the sadness in his eyes, she leaned forward and kissed his lips, stroking her hand along his strong jaw. He felt himself melt into a kiss he had wanted for years.

"Jackie, we can't" he pleaded with her. She knew they shouldn't, that she was married, that Michael would never have approved but right now she just wanted to feel something other than grief.

" Robbie, I just want to feel.." she leaned forward and kissed him again, she could feel his body reacting to her. She knew it wasn't fair, that she was using him.

"Jackie" He pleaded as she kissed his neck.

"Robbie, just one night, one night together"

"I don't want to take advantage Jackie" He hands on her arms trying to catch her eye.

"Your not!" she started removing his tie.

"your married!" He stated.

"I know that but where is he?" she looked around the room. "you and I both know my marriage was over the moment Michael died and he didn't come running" He nodded and returned her kiss, she moved on top of him on her couch, kissing him deep he mouth tasting like whisky. His hands firm squeezing her hips. He could feel his excitement taking over.

"I'm not Michael!" He finally said. That stopped her in tracks, the tears forming in her eyes, she moved off him.

"I'm sorry Robbie" she held her head in her hands. "I just wanted to feel something other than this hollowness" she shrugged. He leant forward tilting her head up to look at him.

"Jackie, I want nothing more than to be with you right now, you can see that for yourself" He smiled looking down at his body. She smiled.

"I know this would be a mistake but I have followed the rules all my life, I just want to do something reckless, isn't it better to do that with someone that I trust, my friend that won't take advantage but just wanted to be there for me?" He nodded.

He thought for a second his arousal was evident to them both of them to see, he would be lying if he said he didn't want to. He knew she was deep in grief and this was just a reaction to Michaels death, but she wanted to feel desired and loved. Brian had abandoned her in her time of need and the last thing he wanted to so was to reject her. He was desperately trying to rationalise it, trying to deny the want in him "are you sure, you want this?" he sighed.

"for one night, friends with benefits" she smiled as he placed her hands back on his chest and leaned forward to kiss her.

They never spoke of that night and although they had been tempted they both agreed that they couldn't give into those feelings again.