A/N:  Hi all!  Sagan Fox tries once again to write Trigun fic!  Now that I've seen the whole series I think I have a better grip on the characters.  This fic was also born of a serious case of writers block surrounding my Cowboy Bebop fic "Damn It Ed".  For anyone who reads it, I swear I'll update it soon....eventually...I hope.  ^_^::  Many thanks to my wonderful beta readers, Discordia the Goddess of Irony (read her fiction under than name!  It's good, and I beta-read it myself!) and EarFetishGirl, who I must thank for helping me keep the fluff in this chapter to a minimum.  Even though the next chapter will be pretty much fluff only.  But I'm rambling.

(Spike walks in the room)

Spike:  Saaaaaagaaaan...I'm booooored...come play with me some more.

Sagan Fox:  I lent you to Discordia.  Didn't you have fun?

Spike:  (curls into fetal position and starts to rock back and forth) Pain is pleasure...pain is pleasure...pain is pleasure...

Sagan Fox:  Damn it, she broke his brain again.  (Hugs Spike)  It's ok, honey, you're safe with me....for now... (Cackles evilly)

Spike:  What is that supposed to mean?

Sagan Fox:  Nothing.  Now put the chain back on and get back in the Bishie Box.  I'll come play with you later. 

Anywho, read, enjoy, and review.  All flames will be met with a berserker author clad only in fire wielding a katana.  And that isn't a pretty sight folks. 

Oh.  And I don't own Trigun.  So don't sue me.  Pwease?

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Man, it's too hot today...what does it take to get a little cloud cover on this planet? 

     

Vash had been walking for nearly two weeks now, with Knives slung over his shoulder the entire time.  Although the extent of his injuries assured that he would not be in any condition to walk any time soon, Knives' mind was still active, and just as dangerous as if he were unhurt.  Vash was able to make use of his time in silence and solitude to set up what could only be described as mental controls in Knives to stop him from doing...whatever it was that he did to cause such havoc.  Because he had ignored his innate telepathic abilities as a Plant for so long, Vash had not yet mastered them as Knives had, something for which he was somewhat grateful.  He could only hope that the mental barriers would hold until he could come up with a better solution. 

Setting Knives down in the shadow of a large boulder, Vash stopped to take a drink from his canteen.  The trip to Dimitri had taken only a week, but then Vash had been alone, unburdened by his incapacitated brother, and hell-bent on getting there as quickly as possible.  Now he could take his time, and move slowly to give Knives time to rest, himself time to care for Knives, and to think about where to go from there.  He knew in his heart that he wanted to go back to Meryl.  She at least deserved to know that he was alright, and that, for now, the suffering was over.  He impatiently waited for the day when he would show up at her doorstep and be met with a warm greeting.  

Either that, or she'll hit me for being gone too long, he thought with a fond smile, and glanced over at Knives.  But what if I can't help him in time?  What if he escapes me again, starts the killing again.  I couldn't live with myself if anything ever happened to her, or to Milly. I can't let them be hurt because of me.  If I go back...he'd eventually go after them.  I can't let that happen, but I don't want to just abandon them.  I've put them through too much to just leave them in the dust like that.  What other choice do I have?

He got up and began to check Knives' wounds for signs of infection.  Fortunately, he'd bandaged the wounds quickly with clean bandages, so infection was unlikely, but if he did not get Knives to a real doctor soon, things could take a turn for the worst.  A sound from his unconscious brother drew his attention, and he was amazed to see Knives open his eyes.  He blinked a few times, and his eyes focused with contempt on Vash.  He whispered something, but Vash did not hear, and bent down closer to Knives' face.

"Come again?"

"Who...who is she?" he whispered, his voice raspy from disuse and dehydration.

"Who's who?"

"The woman.  You've been thinking of her this entire time.  Who is she?"

Vash paused, hesitating to tell his brother what he wanted to know.  He sighed, and said "Someone you'll be meeting very soon." 

"You think she's like Rem.  What is it with you and stupid, useless bitches who don't know when to stop preaching and stop interfering with the way things should be?"

Vash felt anger rise in him, but suppressed it, calmly replying, "She isn't exactly like Rem.  She's something different entirely."

"Don't tell me you love her, brother," hissed Knives as Vash tightly re-tied the bandage on his right shoulder.  "She's just another disgusting human, a spider, something to be taken out like trash.  Don't tell me you've fallen for a foolish human whore.  I can see it in your eyes.  You always were the weaker twin."

Vash remained silent, determined not to let Knives raise his ire.  He began to check the wound in his left shoulder. 

"I'll kill her, you know.  Just like all the others.  Just like Rem."

Vash bit his tongue, and continued re-wrapping the wound.  He was determined not to let Knives control his mind, his emotions, or his actions any longer.

"Maybe I'll just make her 'disappear' like so many other hundreds of disgusting beasts you call innocent.  These little walls may stop me for now, but it won't be long before I overcome them.  Pathetic."

No, thought Vash, I won't let him get to me.  He can't govern my actions any longer.  I'm my own man, damn it.  Just ignore him, he'll pass out soon.

"Not just yet, I won't.  Or maybe I'll have a bit more fun with her.  Shoot her right between the eyes?  No, that's too quick.  I'll make her bleed for you, dear brother.  Rip into her flesh every scar these vile humans have etched irrevocably into you.  Only she doesn't heal like you do, brother, does she?  She's a weakling, like the rest of them.  The wounds will kill her."

Stop it.  Stop it now, Knives. 

"Before she dies I'll make her scream, and oh, what a scream it will be.  Have you ever heard the anguished screams of the tortured?  It's almost sexual in the bliss is brings.  She will die filled with hatred for you, because you won't save her.  I won't let you.  She'll die knowing that you betrayed her, let her down, and forsaken her.  She trusts you completely, doesn't she?  Trust can be shattered so easily, one wonders why one should bother to build it at all."

Vash's mind was flooded with images of Meryl, battered and bleeding.  Knives stood before her prone body, watching the life drain out of her by the second as he just smiled his sadistic smile.  Vash was frozen to the spot, tears running down his face as he cried out at Knives to stop, but was powerless to stop him.  It would be wrong to kill him, wouldn't it?  Meryl kept crying out for him, wanting him to make all the pain stop.  He was rooted to the spot as she breathed her last breath, transfixed by her cold, hate-filled eyes.  He could see that she thought he was a monster, just like the rest of the world did.  He softly whispered her name in despair as the images ceased, and he once again saw the smiling face of his brother.  The effort of not just speech, but of launching a mental assault was obviously taking its toll on him, and he grimaced and let his head loll to the side.  

"Or maybe, just maybe, I'll take away her dignity first.  Under normal circumstances I wouldn't even lower myself so much as to even touch a human, but I think I could bring myself to do it, just for you.  I'll invade her, defile her, make her see her own weakness.  Not only is she a human, she's a woman, and a small one at that.  All I'd have to do is overpower her.  When humans see their own powerlessness in the face of a superior being, they turn into mindless beasts governed only by the primordial instinct to survive.  I'll shred her soul, then shred her body."

More tears fell down Vash's cheeks as he struggled to maintain control.  No.  I won't let that happen.  I won't let you hurt her!

"Would that make you happy, dear brother?  Would that make you finally see how frail and bestial these creatures are?  Would you side with me then, once you had nothing left?"

Stop.  Stop it!  STOP! You won't touch her!  I'll defend her with my life!  I'll never be like you!  He could not control himself any longer.  Vash reached back and punched Knives, returning him to unconsciousness.  His heavy breathing was the only sound heard for a long time as he cleared the images from his head and brought himself once again under control.  When he realized what he had done, Vash let his head fall a little out of remorse.  I'm sorry I did that, Knives, but you're wrong.  I promise I'll help you see humans how I do, even if it takes my entire life. 

Sighing, he picked Knives up again.  He set out once more on his slow, solitary march to the small town he had left nearly a month before, where, he hoped, Meryl was waiting for him.  It was still at least another day's walk before he arrived at his destination.  Shifting Knives into a more comfortable position, he thought of what he would say to Meryl, and to Milly, when he returned, and trudged on toward the horizon. 

I won't let him hurt her, or anybody else.  I can help him; I can make him see that he's wrong.  I promise you, Meryl, and you too Milly, that I'll die before I let him lay a hand on either of you. 

I WILL help him see.  He has to see.  I know I'm right; there IS a way for all of us to live.  Even the worst sinner can still repent.

He can be saved.  Everyone can be saved. 

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End of chapter one!  Please review! 

      Vash:  (drops Knives) Man, you're heavy!  No more tomato martinis for you.

      Knives:  (moans in pain)

      Sagan Fox: (shoves Knives into the psychotherapeutic Fuzzy Bunny Room) And stay there until you no longer feel compelled to kill!

      Vash:  Will he be ok?

      Sagan Fox:  (pulls Vash by the collar out of the room) He'll be just peachy.  Come on, you're late for my back rub.