Chapter V - Attachments

Maybe if he got attached, he would find a way to stay. Aerith watched as the children surrounded Connor, their innocent eyes filled with wonder. Children had been begging Aerith to bring him and to her relief, he agreed to see them.

"Can you shoot laser beams from your eyes?" One of the girls asked.

"I really wish I could, but they gave me a lot of other cool stuff," Connor replied. He took out his coin and performed some tricks - tossing and flipping even with his eyes closed. The audience was certainly impressed, happy, and clapping at the end. Some of the children playing on the swing sets and the slide joined to watch the show. Connor captivated the entire playground.

"Can you fly like a rocket?"

"Can you transform into a bigger robot?"

Connor lights glowed yellow. "Maybe when I level up? I still need to defeat a great enemy to unlock my hidden powers." He sighed.

Aerith chuckled at his response. What did he think of children? He never had his own childhood and the fact that he's younger than everyone else around him was bizarre. What would it be like to be born as an adult filled with boundless information and intelligence? They asked him a lot of questions; some silly, others smart, and rude ones as well, but natural with curious children. Some of the older kids expressed doubts. In order to prove that he's a machine, Connor rolled up his sleeve and deactivated his skin, just like when they met for the first time.

One of the boys Aerith knew as Tommy reached out to touch. Connor allowed him and the android took it further by sliding the plating at the back of his hand. It revealed his metallic skeleton, wires, and blue liquid flowing through some tubes.

Whether one was a grown-up or kid it didn't matter when faced with something so strange and intriguing. Aerith found herself with the same reaction as everyone.

"Your blood is blue," she brought up the fact after they left the playground. Her pocket felt a little lighter after giving away all her spare coins. After the android's performance, a few of the young ones were inspired to learn coin tricks.

"It works similar to human blood. Although, I should say that I do not require oxygen or constant rehydration." Connor explained that he did require some refilling from time to time, which Shinra provided. "I have a pump that regulates its circulation throughout my body."

"A heart?"

"Yes," he nodded. "An apt comparison."

Aerith wondered; would his heart beat the same way as a human? The heart would listen to one's emotions and express them in its own ways. One might deny fear, excitement, anger, and even love, but the heart wouldn't lie. It would find ways to scream out and hammer against one's chest. "Would you let me feel it? Your heartbeat?"

"Of course," Connor smiled and stopped walking. He led her hand to his chest and the heartbeat was indeed there. His rib cage also expanded as he "breathed" or rather, cooled himself. She closed her eyes for a moment and focused on sensations including the warmth of his hand.

"Can you stop your heart from beating?" She asked, her palm still pressed against his body.

"No, I cannot. It has to keep on going."

She lifted her hand and stepped back, so many different feelings washing over her. Connor offered to open himself up and show his internal parts but Aerith refused, feigning ignorance on engineering - any excuse for Connor to stop suggesting anything of the like. It didn't feel amusing anymore to learn about the technology behind him. There was nothing more about his design that mattered to her. Being reminded that he was a machine and property of Shinra was becoming more uncomfortable.

He was growing and learning every day, making friends with people he never forgot. His world was expanding. Every time they see each other there was more to him than she never saw before. Checking himself in the mirror, fixing his tie and flipping coins had become smaller aspects of his personality.

She let him listen to the radio and hand him newspapers to read. As predicted, there was nothing about Shinra that brought out interesting reactions. It was if he had a script to praise the company. So Aerith asked about the other sections; sports, entertainment, cooking recipes, and comics.

Whenever Connor was told that something was Aerith's interest, he'd give a more thoughtful response. When she mentioned she liked a specific singer, Connor would find praise for the quality of the person's voice. When she admitted she had a crush on one of the track and field stars, the android would pull out the world record that was broken by that athlete. It was all for social integration, Aerith wondered.

Aerith decided that it was better to refrain from asking about it. They had so many exchanges of how he's an advanced machine for a task, meant to work harmoniously with humans. He may not admit it, but his identity and image mattered to him personally. Just like how he fixed himself in front of the mirror all the time when nobody was watching.

That's why she needed to observe more, wait, and see for herself what Connor would do on his own. The first time she saw him staring at the lone goldfish in the Aquamore shop, she thought he was just curious, or perhaps using the glass as a mirror. But whenever they pass through the market, he'd return to check.

"I wonder if it knew that it's inside a cage?" Connor came up with the question on his own, Aerith not prompting anything. "It can see what's out there, but no matter what it does, it can't go anywhere." His ring was bright yellow.

"It doesn't have anywhere else to go," was all Aerith could answer. She couldn't help but reflect on her own circumstances. "I wonder if it needed a friend?"

It wasn't just the fish. One day, Connor began petting stray dogs. He would waste time to touch animals. Every minute he spent doing so would not contribute to his work. Dogs weren't slum monsters that posed risks to him or its residents. They weren't mutants that were the byproduct of Shinra's chemical spills. They weren't rare beasts that can be sold for a price.

Yet he pet dogs and later on cats. He counted all of them, remembered their breed, color, size, and their respective territories. With enough treats and friendliness, the android earned their trust. If it was social integration, it had no benefits. Animals wouldn't help him get his job done.

"Give them names," Aerith encouraged him.

"But I'm not their owner," Connor was surrounded by three dogs, all wagging their tails and asking for more treats.

"You don't have to be. But you're friends with them, right?" The android nodded without hesitation. "Dogs can recognize names, I think they would appreciate it."

"I agree," he smiled. "I like dogs. They're very loyal and affectionate creatures." So he named them: Macy, Alex, Ling, Mike, Ali, Lizzy, Kira, Yi, Maria, Amir, Reza, Bato, and so many more. Using the names of the people he met and picking at random, he expanded his list of friends in a different way.

It wasn't just the pleasant things that captured Connor's attention: he was fascinated by mysteries and crime. He followed the investigation of a homicide that happened in Sector 8, buying more than one newspaper for the source of information. He told Aerith of theories on why and how it happened, and confidently declared that if he was allowed to investigate it himself, he could solve the case.

The idea rushed through Aerith and the next day, and the woman found herself borrowing a bunch of detective novels. Some books were so old that they were given away. "I want to know the story but I'm too lazy to read. Could you help me?"

She ushered him to sit beside her on an empty bench. Connor flipped through the pages with the speed of a racing Chocobo. Each page took less than a second, with around five hundred pages finished in just mere minutes. Every sentence, every word, every idea was stored in his mind. He effortlessly summarized the story for Aerith, praising the intelligence of the fictional characters, and noted the grammatical skills of the writer.

After burning through several novels, Aerith had her fill. These stories were all about uncovering the circumstances of one's death, intriguing and exciting they may be, but not the life that was. They were also sometimes grim and depressing, sometimes cliche if the plot twist involved the detective's friend or lover as the killer.

"Sector 5 has one of the highest murder rates," Connor continued the topic of crime and Aerith gave her full attention. He followed with an explanation of how poverty, unemployment, population density, and inefficient law enforcement contributed to the level of violence in a community.

"Maybe we need a good detective," Aerith nudged him with her elbow. "You're one of the smartest guys around here."

"Not my job," he shrugged. "They need to pay me."

"You could make me feel safer. You can protect me." She moved a little closer to his spot.

Connor paused for a little and Aerith held back her words, eager for his response. "But you have been fine without me."

She could have done better than that. Aerith looked away and bit her lip. How nice it would be to run and scream. The bench she shared with Connor felt hard and uncomfortable against her back. Up above were the dizzying lights of the plate above that made her feel more tired. Of course, she wasn't enough to make him stay.

Connor stared at Dewey. The movement of his fins always looked so graceful and elegant when his body was so round and eyes bulging. Perhaps the simplicity of the animal and its repetitive movements help calibrate his sensors? His stress levels improved. The creature only had a little brain, but even if it was relatively more simple than a human's, it was still remarkably complex. It was a successful organism that thrived for millions of years until the pollution drove its wild population in Midgar extinct.

Being kept in tank kept Dewey alive. Was it the same for Aerith? Digging through the encrypted database of Professor Hojo revealed the information that she wasn't completely human. Connor had to cover his tracks and the possibility that he was detected settled at 12.36%.

Aerith was an Ancient and the only living one that's known. Described as guardians of the planet and the Promised Land, a land of infinite mako energy, she was under the surveillance of Turks, whose files Connor found to be impossible to access. It would be too easy to take her back to Shinra anytime.

It explained how and why plants lived under her care. Similarly, she thrived in Sector 5, with better physical and mental well-being due to family, friends, and freedom. There was no reason to bring her back to Shinra so they could keep her again inside a glass cage. It wasn't part of his mission and Amanda had no directives about this.

A cage was still something Aerith had nonetheless, metaphorically speaking. Just like Dewey, she eyed beyond what she could reach. Humans like her were described to have insatiable desires according to Connor's economics manual, always wanting more than they already possess. These wants drove them to work harder than necessary, innovate, and compete with one another. This was precisely what Aerith had been doing, but all the time and energy she expended wouldn't be enough.

She'd stare at the travel brochures to Costa Del Sol.

She'd stop and look at the posters of Gold Saucer.

She'd check out the fancy dresses displayed at the shops, particularly the pink ones.

Connor checked the costs of travel and the clothes that Aerith wanted. His own social integration allowance will not be enough to help her get any of them. It's impossible for him to take an extra job without compromising his tasks. Also, an android being paid for its labor defeats its purpose in the first place.

Meanwhile, Aerith was a terrible capitalist. While she held a monopoly over healthy, lasting flowers, she sold them at varied rates, depending on how wealthy her customer looked, how attractive they were, or how well they behaved. She had no consistent pattern. Some children got flowers for free, resulting in losses instead of profit. At an average price of 120.35 gil per flower and a fixed capacity for cultivation, she had thin margins considering expenses on food and health. No extra hours of labor would change her economic status.

With Shinra's wealth and monopoly in power generation, it could easily subsidize healthcare and education to improve human lives. Connor could have analyzed how social welfare could decrease the annual dividends of Shinra's stockholders, but the security of the financial records was strong that he needed to disconnect and stop future attempts of access.

Connor required more information to understand things, but it seemed like there was always a wall. If it wasn't Shinra's encrypted folders, it was his programming. At the moment he was still restricted to Sector 5. Once he finished with the area, it's possible he will be locked to the next one.

Stress level: 62%

… 65%

… 68%.

If he moved to another sector, he'd lose the successful social integration he had achieved with Aerith and her community.

… 70%

Will there be a possibility he will be assigned outside Midgar?

"Don't you want to see what's outside this city?" Connor asked her one time as Aerith browsed through postcards.

"I think I have a pretty good idea: an endless expanse of desert and canyons." She giggled while showing Connor the pictures she handpicked: snowy mountains, coasts, forests, fields of grass, and ancient ruins. "I feel at home here."

"But if you can, you would, right?"

There was a hint of sadness in Aerith's eyes. She justifying staying in Midgar when she didn't need to."I actually can, I think? It's just that I don't want to be alone."

He couldn't quite read Aerith's expression as she locked her eyes with him. Fondness? Sentimentality? Sadness? Should he imitate her face? What should be the appropriate reaction?

"Someone promised once but…" Aerith sighed and her shoulders slumped. "Life just happens. Not everything is meant to be, I guess."

Heartbreak: great sorrow, grief, or anguish.

Other words associated: heartache, pain, agony, sorrow, bitterness, grief, suffering, despair, torment, woe, remorse, anguish, regret, distress, torture, desolation.

Without asking Aerith directly, Connor concluded that she suffered heartbreak and the conversation the other day reminded her of it. In particular, it arose from a past romantic relationship supported by the gossips that the android filtered out among the crowd.

"Aerith honey was ghosted by her Soldier boyfriend, then she lowered her standards and those still didn't work."

"She's so desperate," the person laughed.

"Now she's with a robot."

"Wouldn't complain, wouldn't get angry with you, and will never betray you. The perfect boyfriend."

"A personal slave if you think of it."

"Or a toy. If you know what I mean."

Gossiping was a human behavior that wasn't productive, or in common terms, "trashy and shit." Yet people derive amusement from the activity and it would sometimes result in a worse social standing for the person whose reputation was affected. There were not enough variables for Connor to measure the possible negative impact on Aerith, but it was important to deter others from spreading false information.

"Greetings scumbags, I heard you're talking about me." Connor approached the group and flashed them a smile. It's the type of smile that had malice and threat disguised in it, and he was proud that he could replicate such expression. Vulgarity was a necessity to get his point across as it was their native language. Caught off guard and inept with direct verbal confrontation, the group was looked shocked and terrified. The android took it as an opportunity to learn more information. With threats of revealing infidelities and other sensitive secrets, they agreed to cooperate.

His name was Zack Fair, Soldier First Class, from the town of Gongaga. While Aerith had been involved with other people, the circumstances surrounding Zack would cause suffering among those emotionally attached to him. The news announced his death but his status within Shinra was still under "Classified." He was last reported to visit Nibelheim with Sephiroth. All of the personnel that came with Zack were all listed as dead. For a decorated soldier, the lack of information meant a high probability of cover-up. All the files that Connor tried to access turned out empty.

Aerith curled on her futon and wrapped her blanket tight against her body. It's already an hour past midnight. Nothing was uncomfortable and the temperature was perfect. The church was also a safe place, at least to her. She reached out and touched one of the lilies that remained in bloom while the rest were closed.

"Can't sleep too, huh?" She gently traced the outline of the petals. Its smell was always soothing to her nerves. Her eyes were heavy and tired but her mind couldn't be at peace. There was so much to think about it.

The door creaked and Aerith knew who it was. The soft, even steps, and the minimal noise by rubber soles were already familiar. She turned to the other side and found Connor walking towards her. In the dark his blue rings the symbols on his clothes glowed like mako.

"Good evening, Connor," Aerith greeted, still lying on her futon. It was too much effort to get up and she lazily stretched her hand to turn on her lamp.

"It's already morning."

"It's not morning until I get some sleep."

Connor crouched in front of her. "Your mother is worried about you."

"She went to you and asked you to find me?" Aerith was unable to hide her annoyance.

"Not exactly," Connor sat down on the floor beside her futon. "I was told that she was asking around the neighborhood. Eventually, some reached out to me." He smiled a little. "They assumed I always know where you are."

Aerith sighed. There was no use in keeping secrets from Connor as he could easily figure things out. He's too smart. "My mother doesn't like you. We fought about it and I raised my voice." She confessed, wrapping her blanket tighter as she lay down. "It's not your problem, so don't worry about it."

Her mother had no right to dictate her choice of friends. Nobody should. She's old enough to take care of herself. Yet, her chest felt tight, and even if her braid was undone there was pain on her temple - a nagging voice telling her to go home.

No, not yet. She wasn't ready. If only she could sleep, a little escape would be good.

"What are her reasons?" Connor asked gently.

There were many, and Aerith understood why and she hated confronting the reality. Her mother thought of Connor as nothing as a machine that would break down one day, but there was more than that. She told Elmyra's story to Connor, how she was widowed, and adopted a child from the streets, but left out the part about her birth mother. Being the last Ancient - it's not the right time to talk about it. She didn't want to talk about Zack either. Her insides coiled as she imagined her mother sleepless in their home, waiting for her to come back. "I should apologize," she croaked, holding back tears.

Connor sat motionless beside her. "I don't see any flaw in her reasoning. She cares for your well being."

"Yes, she loves me very much and I know that. It's just that-" Aerith turned and laid flat on her back to stare at the ceiling. The plate's lights were partly visible through the holes of the church's roof. They resemble the stars and the night sky painted in the art books. Her neighbors from Cosmo Canyon told her the real thing was more beautiful: thousands and millions of flickering lights spilled in the dark. Just like the lifestream.

"Your mother is right," Connor said, his rings flickering between yellow and blue briefly. "It's not beneficial for you to have attachments to me. I apologize for encouraging it."

"What do you mean? Why would you be sorry?" Aerith quickly sat up.

"I'm only a prototype. Whether I succeed or fail, I will be obsolete in due time."

Somehow, Aerith already knew. Hearing it directly from him gave a sudden pang of sadness.

He gave her a kind smile and touched the glowing ring on his temple. "That's how machines are."

Connor's skin faded from the tips of his fingers, his neck, and his face as well. His eyebrows and hair also disappeared under the white plates covering his body. Even with the dim light of the lamp, Aerith could read the tiny letters and numbers that marked some parts of his face. Soft blue light emanated in-between the plating, blue blood flowing through his veins visible on his neck. "This is what I am."

But his voice was the same. The shape of his jaw, his nose, and especially his warm eyes didn't change. "You're still Connor," Aerith said. "What's the difference?"

"Not as handsome as my human form, I guess?" He leaned back and gave her a wink.

Soft laughter escaped Aerith. "If you want to stay that way, I can paint my face white so you wouldn't feel alone."

He gave a meaningful look. "Aerith, anytime I might be recalled and never return. Would that upset you?"

"Of course, it will." Aerith smiled bitterly and clutched her blanket.

"I can leave now if you want." He looked at her, as sincere as ever. "Before it gets harder for you, I can-"

"No, I don't think like that." Aerith shook her head. "Every day, every hour, every moment is what matters. Nobody can tell what the future is, but we keep on moving forward. Keep on living. We-" She leaned forward to stare deep into Connor eyes, heart racing inside her chest. "There's no need to think about how and why, and when it all started and when it would end. What matters is now. That you're here right now with me."

Without the spinning lights on his temple, there were many ways to interpret Connor's silence. He just looked at her without blinking, lips slightly opened. Aerith just waited, giving a reassuring smile. After a few moments, the android reactivated his skin and looked perfectly human again. "I understand, Aerith…Thank you."

She could press on, ask more, but those words were enough. The fact that he was here meant he cared for her. "You're going to try harder if you plan to ditch me."

"I thought I was about to get away without paying those free meals I promised," Connor sighed.

"No, you won't." An idea sparked in Aerith's mind, and she couldn't help but grin. Her companion noticed and gave an inquisitive look. She raised her chin. "I don't want free meals anymore. I want you to take me out on a date."

"A date?"

"A date."

Connor nodded and adjusted his tie, looking smug. "A date then."

"Oh, a brave man. Exactly what I like." She teased.

"Wait." The android raised a finger. "I'll date you on one condition: you should go home tonight. I know it's going to be tough, but I know that you're a very brave woman Aerith." Connor said with a sympathetic tone, but the curve of his lips said otherwise.

Aerith collapsed back on her cushion and groaned.

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Please review, there are only 2 chapters left. Hope you recommend this fic to others. Thanks for reading!