A/N: This is slightly inspired by the Vampire Diares/The Originals. Most of it was written August 2019 but I've only just gotten around to finishing it. I hope the time jumps aren't too confusing! Title from a song by 8 graves which goes by the same name.
Summary: 60 years. A lifetime for some. A flicker in time for them. Yet she looks at him just like the first time, with raw emotion in her emerald eyes. But this time it is not in inexplicable yearning. It's in rage.
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In a world full of temporary things, you are a perpetual feeling
- Sanober Khan
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Sasuke never expected to see her there. Hell, he never thought he would see her again in his long, doleful life. She had made sure of that with the way she had told him she would move to the ends of the earth if it meant staying away from him. The betrayal in her voice had been sharp then, and it was still just as sharp in his memory. He understood what he had done had been unforgivable. Selfish. But there had been no way to take it back, and so he had given her the one solace he could after causing her so much agony. He stayed away.
And for Sasuke, that was no small feat. Because the way she had always looked at him, he had looked back just as intensely. Drowning those feelings all these years had been strenuous. And now – it was as if every wall he had put up came crumbling down with one look from those brilliant emerald eyes.
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60 Years Ago
Sasuke had been stood amongst the shadows when she entered. Later, he could blame it on his boredness, but the moment her green eyes caught the light he couldn't stop staring.
And it seemed that she couldn't either. As if feeling his gaze on her, she turned to glance in his direction.
Her look was full of curiosity, watching as he watched her. Throughout the night, she would glance back over her shoulder from her seat by the bar to find his eyes still locked on her. The third time caused a blush to adorn her cheeks – he caught it even though she had quickly turned away again as if to hide it.
When she had had enough drinks to cause confidence to bloom in her chest, she made her way over to him. His eyes didn't leave hers once as she stopped barely a foot away and cleared her throat as if to establish who had the upper hand in this conversation.
"I can see you staring. You're not that stealthy," she announced.
Sasuke was mildly surprised by her tone, and more than a little amused. "I wasn't trying to be."
"Well, quit it. I feel as if something is boring into the back of my head."
"Hn," he smirked, his interest in her increasing. His eyes were alive with energy as he watched her every move, every emotion that went through her head.
"What are you doing in this bar all alone?" she asked, probably trying to make conversation.
Sasuke tipped his glass up in answer. Drinking. The girl flushed.
"Of course, that was a silly question…" she studied the ground, avoiding his eyes.
"What of you? Approaching me all alone without the safety of a chaperone?" he tsked, teasing. "Shouldn't you know better than to approach men stood in the shadows?"
Sakura was caught off-guard. "Uh… I just wanted to know why you kept staring at me."
Sasuke lifted an eyebrow, her honestly was refreshing. "I was intrigued."
"By- by me?"
"Tch. Who else?"
"I…I'm flattered." She avoided his eyes again, but he could make out her genuine pleasure from the compliment, if the soft blush on her cheeks wasn't telling enough.
Sasuke said nothing in response, lifting his glass once more to sip from the beverage that would do nothing to his lifeless system. She almost turned around to leave, but his hand shot out to catch her delicate wrist.
"Sasuke," he introduced.
"Sakura," she said, a smile on her lips that wouldn't be there for long.
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Present
She looked just as stunning as the first time he had seen her. In all those years, her hair had not lost its lustrous glow, and her eyes still shone like stars in the dark. The one difference was her skin, which had been his fault. The life that had once caused her cheeks to bloom in colour was pale, taut and stretched over her bones like paper. Yet it did not take away from her beauty. It was a different kind of beauty though, one that gave her a regal air. Still, he mourned the way she used to look even though he knew he had no right; he was the one who caused such difference.
He didn't know how they had ended up in front of each other, but soon there were only inches between them, the closest they had been in decades.
"Sakura," he breathed, dumbstruck at the same time her eyes unfurled with an inferno of hatred.
"How dare you come near me again."
There was a coldness in her voice that spoke years of experience, a life lived without the innocence of a young woman experiencing everything for the first time. He didn't know what to say. That it was an honest mistake? A chance out of a million that he had turned up in the same establishment as she, let alone the same country? How was she to believe any word he said?
"I feel sick…" she said, clutching at the fabric above her stomach, knuckles white. "You make me sick!"
Sasuke was used to her hostility. Their last moments together had been calamitous. It hadn't always been like that; before he had turned her, things between them were always ardent. He found himself missing their old dynamic and loathed himself for his own selfishness. In his own hope for an eternity with her, he had inadvertently shortened their time together instead.
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60 Years Ago
"Sasuke…" she giggled, her bright pink hair fluttering attractively around her as she teasingly twirled away from him.
Sasuke caught her waist, spinning her around to face him, a playful smirk on his lips.
He lowered his face to her neck – a mistake – running his tongue from the base of her throat to her jaw. The heady scent of her caused a shiver down his body as he mouthed her delicate skin.
And oh god, her blood.
He berated himself, pulling on that long-upheld discipline. He didn't want to feed from her, Sakura wasn't for that. His knuckles whitened as he clenched his fist, breathing shortly from his nose.
She wasn't helping, fingers running through his hair, nails scratching gently on his scalp. "Sas-Sasuke-kun…"
He wasn't sure if he could control himself, and dreaded to think what the outcome would be if he ripped through her neck. They were never complacent, and Sakura, who had let him come near her with such trust…
Reluctantly, he pulled away but not before deciding to continue the charade of teasing to not arouse her suspicions.
"Next time," he promised, trailing a finger down her delicate cheek.
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Present
Even though he had ruined her life, she could not deny the undeniable magnetism between them. His dark eyes pulled her in just like they had all those years ago.
She hated herself for being so easily influenced. In all her years, she had never met anyone else like him again. The feeling was encompassing, her blood felt like it was alive once more but she knew that could never be true. Sakura guessed it was because the last time she had been alive it had been with him. It was the only plausible explanation she could come up with and she tried hard to believe it.
Unbidden, the painful memories flooded back to her, ones she had kept locked up for years and vowed to never relive again. Once again, he had ruined everything by stepping in front of her just when she had begun to heal.
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60 Years Ago
"Sasuke…" she breathed, feeling his hardness against her thigh as he licked her earlobe.
She shivered, unaccustomed at the feeling, her hands at his back pulling him nearer.
Sasuke grip tightened on her waist in turn. He was sure he would be panting by now if he could still breathe.
Sakura's hand drifted to tangle in his dark hair, wanting him closer.
She knew he was holding back.
"…do you want to…?" It took a great amount of courage for her to even offer. They weren't married, she didn't even know what their relationship was. But right now, she wanted nothing more to feel all of him.
His eyes shot up to hers, surprise and desire evident. He didn't have to ask whether she wanted to, too; it was clear in the intense way she looked at him and how she had bucked against him moments before.
"Take off your dress."
Sakura blushed at his order, looking at the ground she unlaced her dress and pulled it off her body, exposing herself to him.
Her nipples were visible beneath the lace of her underdress. If his heart could still beat, he swore it would be thrashing in his chest. She looked so innocent…yet sultry at the same time. The blush on her cheeks had heightened, and there was a nervous glint in her eyes as she bit her lip in shyness.
His hand reached out to caress her cheek, and as soon as she looked back up at him, he brought her plump lips to his mouth.
Soon he was buried in her, grunting as Sakura clutched his arm and squirmed to try and rid the discomforting feeling, before he was moving to a rhythm she struggled to keep up with. His head burst with so many emotions. Sakura had made him feel so intensely, in a way he hadn't in a long time.
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"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura giggled as his arm snaked around her waist. His mouth moved to leave a flurry of kisses on her exposed throat, and she tilted her head to give him better access.
"I have to go soon," she sighed, linking her fingers with his at her stomach.
Suddenly, he stopped his ministrations, his body tightened behind her. She whirled – she didn't mean right now –
"Why do you always have to go?"
She looked up at him, expression softening. "I'll be back, Sasuke-kun. You know I can't stay forever."
She had no idea what her words actually meant to him.
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"What…what have you done?" her voice was shrill, a high-pitched fury that he had never heard from her before.
Sasuke stood motionless as the weight of his actions shackled his ankles and pulled him low low low.
"Do you think I want to live this long? Do you think I would take joy in watching the people around me grow old and die when I cannot?"
Sakura's face twisted in pure agony. Her body had died. She could feel the space inside her chest where her heart would have beat but now only stood stationary and hollow. She somehow knew she could not bear children anymore. The deadness of her organs was hard to ignore as her body once so ripe of life was now a mere skeleton encased in skin.
She could no longer have a family. The thought brought prickly tears to her eyes and unknowingly she clutched at her abdomen and mourned for her unborn children. The life she had always wanted no longer in her reach.
And he had robbed her of that.
"Get away from me. I don't want you anywhere near me! Can't you hear me? I said go!"
"Sakura, I can explain – "
She was sobbing now, tears rolling freely down her face like a waterfall.
"You have ruined me. I never want to see you again, or so god help me what I will do to you then!"
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Present
"Sakura, please –"
"Please?" her voice was piercing, an echo of what it had been all those years ago, "You don't get to ask anything of me, Sasuke. You took my life."
He hated the way she phrased it, as if he had murdered her with no remorse. He didn't correct her that technically he had extended her life because he knew what she meant. She would have been eighty now. She would have had children, and grandchildren and maybe even great-grandchildren. Her life would've been content. He wasn't sure how she had lived since then, but it couldn't have been the same as it would have been had he not interfered. Who would have wanted their partner to have an eternity of youth while they aged and withered away?
"I'm sorry, Sakura."
He cringed at her incredulous laugh. Sorry? Her eyes said, sorry can't fix anything.
Sasuke grit his teeth. "Can you at least understand why I did it now? It was selfish, but I couldn't live with the fact you'd no longer be in my life –"
"Yet you survived," her voice grew colder, referring to the years they had spent apart since. "God, you don't care about anyone but yourself, do you? You say you're sorry yet you keep justifying your actions. Let me tell you now that I would have never done what you did to me."
Sasuke clenched his fists, anger slowly building inside him. How dare she claim that when she didn't know what he had gone through, the loneliness and emptiness he had endured for the whole of his long, pitiful life. "Do you know why I was turned, Sakura?" he drew out her name dangerously. "It was for no reason. You think your life was ruined for the sake of it. Do you know how old I am? Dammit, I loved you. Forgive me for ever thinking you loved me back."
Sakura stood frozen. "I did love you, Sasuke," she whispered sadly.
"But not enough to love the rest of eternity with me," he concluded, bitterness in his tone.
Sharp tears gathered in her eyes. "Don't you get it? I never wanted eternity. All I wanted was to have a family, and to one day die. Didn't you wish the same, once?"
"You could still have a family," Sasuke pleaded, "I… I could be your family."
She could sense the desperateness in his voice. She wanted so badly to run into his arms and succumb to his wishes. But how could she forgive the man who had destroyed her life?
Sasuke could see the war raging behind her eyes. He reached out to her, hoping to sway her decision. He knew, if she told him to, he would leave her again. Even if it would break him. He would do anything to make her happy again.
"Sakura…" he gently tilted her head up to face him. The unshed tears still shone in her eyes. Carefully, he leant to press his mouth against hers, lips brushing hers tenderly.
Sakura felt the tears finally spill down her cheeks.
They were transported to the past, to the first time they had kissed and how electrified they had felt. It felt the exact same now, decades between them unable to extinguish the pull.
"Stay with me, Sakura…" Sasuke breathed against her mouth.
"I can't…" she whispered, the tears continuing to stream down her cheeks. "I can't forgive you Sasuke…"
Sasuke drew away from her, his face a controlled mask, but she could still see the utter anguish in his eyes. "I have been alone for decades. Decades more than you have lived, even with your eternal life now. You still don't understand? Decades, Sakura!"
"I'm sorry Sasuke, I really am, but you didn't have to drag me down with you! I do understand. To some extent, at least. Like you said, I've been here for decades too. I've watched my family and friends grow old and die. I have stood alone as life has moved past me without a single look back."
"Please… please don't make me go again," he choked.
Sakura's gaze fell to the floor. She didn't know what to do. She had trusted him once and he had taken what he wanted from her without even asking. He had ruined her life.
But then, what more did she have to lose?
"Sakura…please…I love you. I have nothing else."
The words sunk into her desolate heart. She knew, somewhere in there, she still loved him, too.
She wondered what their life would have been like if they had met under different circumstances. Would they have had a family together? Would they have stayed together until they were old and withered? It was a dream she could no longer fulfil. But love was a once in a lifetime thing, wasn't it? If she could have nothing more, couldn't she have this?
"Stay with me," Sasuke said again, hands placed gently on either side of her face. She could read the desperation in his words, the want to never be away from her. More than that, she felt the familiar pull she always did when she was in his presence.
Looking up to meet his charcoal eyes, she nodded slowly, hating herself even as she did. "'ll stay with you, Sasuke. This time, I'll stay with you."
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60 Years Ago
Sakura's blood coated his hands. It was still fresh and the scent was pungent. He stared down at her lifeless form waiting for her to awaken. Already, the blood had left her skin, the warmth had gone forever.
He remembered the time he had awoken to find himself dead. It was a hard thing to endure. But Sakura was strong, he knew she could endure it. And he was here to help her.
Eventually, her eyes opened and Sasuke relaxed. He looked down at her tenderly, glad to see her sparkling emerald eyes once again. He had known this would happen, but it was the first time he had turned anyone so he couldn't be sure. He could never bring himself to impose this life on anyone else. But Sakura… It was all worth it.