Finn was snoring loudly from the co-pilot's seat as the Falcon dropped out of hyperspace. The shadow of a smile crept onto Rey's features. Finn was such a sound sleeper, even the ship shuddering through the Coruscanti atmosphere was not enough to disturb his slumber.

Rey's skin prickled as she became slowly overwhelmed by the tremendous amount of life buzzing around the planet. She had to raise her shields, dampen her connection to the force, normally so open. Trillions of beings lived on the city-covered planet, more life than there were stars in the sky, and Rey had never been comfortable here, it was one of the many reasons she left.

She reached over and gently nudged Finn's shoulder. He snorted and sputtered as sleep left him and Rey had to suppress a laugh.

"We're here."

As the Federation had already been expecting them, they were quickly given permission to land in the hangar of the former Jedi Temple turned Imperial Palace turned current, though likely temporary, Galactic Federation headquarters. Poe and Rose were already waiting for them in the hangar, their faces eager and excited, wrapping both Rey and Finn in a tight four-way hug the second the entry ramp hit the ground.

"What are you two doing here?" Poe asked brightly the second the welcoming embrace ended and all four of them pulled away. "I thought you were off floating rocks on Jedi Island?" He laughed.

"Yeah, some of us floating more rocks than others." Finn said, nudging Rey playfully in the ribs. "Were actually here on Jedi business." He added, puffing up his chest slightly. Rey couldn't help rolling her eyes.

"What?" Rose gasped, her eyes flying wide. "What's happened?" Rey could feel the fear rolling off of both Poe and Rose. To them, Jedi business meant saving the world from some unspeakable evil.

"Oh, Finn's making seem a bigger deal than it is." Rey said placing a hand on her friend's arm to soothe her. "We're here looking for books." Rey threw a chastising look at Finn who offered an apologetic smile.

As relief settled over them, Rey took in the two friends she had not seen in far too long. In her memory they were all still roughing it on Ajan Kloss, dirty and hiding from the First Order, but they looked so clean. Poe wore a uniform befitting a general of the army of the Galactic Federation and Rose was dressed in a soft pink suit, the tails of her jacket hanging around her ankles, apparently having left her delegate's robes in her apartment or office. Rey knew that Rose missed the life of an engineer, but political life suited her just as well.

"What kind of books?" Poe asked, eyebrow quirked.

"We have reason to believe that some Jedi texts may have survived the Empire's purge." Rey explained.

"How would you know that?" Rose asked.

Rey struggled to suppress as smile as she imagined the looks on her friends faces if she were to tell them that Darth Vader himself had given her that information. Before Rey could come up with a plausible reason, Poe saved her.

"Rose, I've found it's best not to question anything about the Force." Poe turned to Rose and shot her a knowing smirk. "You're never going to get a satisfying answer."

"We were hoping to look through the Imperial archives, do you know where those might be?"

"Um," Rose began with a grimace. "I don't think those are something that's necessarily open to the public. You'll have to speak with the Premier."

"I'll comm Sara, see if we can't get you in to see Paila." Poe stepped away, pulling his commlink up to his mouth, a smile on his mouth as he spoke.

"It is so great to see you both," Rose said, placing one hand on Rey's shoulder and the other on Finn's, then she turned to Rey directly. "How have you been?" She asked pointedly. Rey wondered how tired she must have looked.

Before Rey could answer and lie to her friend by assuring her that she had been just fine, Poe, ever her savior today, strode back over to the group, a satisfied smile playing on his lips.

"Turns out Paila wants to meet with you right away, here, I'll bring you up to her office. She had to choose the room the furthest out of the way, of course, at the top of the highest kriffing tower." He laughed, but his usual lighthearted nature had dulled slightly. "Gotta make sure everyone knows who's in charge, I guess."

"She is in charge, Poe." Rose warned, Rey suddenly felt very lost, like there was a history here she was not aware of.

"That she is," Poe agreed flatly. For a moment, he looked like there was more he wanted to say. Instead he turned around and gestured for all of them to follow him. Lower ranking officers stopped what they were doing to salute General Dameron as he left the hangar.

Rey and Finn had been walking side by side down the hall following Poe and Rose's lead when Rey noticed something shining on Finn's belt. It was long and thin, silver and copper - a lightsaber. It looked like he had been trying to hide it beneath his jacket. She placed a hand on his chest, putting distance between themselves and the two ahead of them, slowing their pace slightly.

"What is that?" She hissed, pointing to the hilt on his hip. Finn's eyes went wide when he realized what she meant.

"A lightsaber…" He admitted bashfully.

"I know what – Where did you get it?" Rey asked, rolling her eyes.

"I found it, on Ahch -To."

"You stole from the Jedi temple?" Rey accused, scandalized.

"It wasn't in the Jedi temple." Finn explained as if that made it okay. "It was just in a storage hut on the island."

"You stole from Master Skywalker, then." Rey crossed her arms in front of her chest. She had seen where the Lanai caretakers had moved Luke's things after his death. There hadn't been much, really, a few piles of robes, a familiar looking pair of golden dice, and a silver and copper lightsaber, the design so much like Leia's it had made her double take at the sight of it.

"It's not like he's using it." Finn said, shaking his head. Rey was about to remind Finn that Luke's things deserved more respect, but he continued the second she opened her mouth. "And I don't have a lightsaber yet, what if I need to defend myself?"

Rey was speechless for a moment.

"Defend yourself?" Her whispered voice raising an octave or two at the ridiculousness of it all. "We're going to a library! What do you think you'll have to defend yourself from, a rouge archivist?"

"That's where were going now." Finn agreed defensively. "But what about afterwards? What if we run into Sith cultists or a First Order remnant or…"

"Stop." Rey said, holding out her hand, desperate to stop the insanity spewing from her best friend's mouth. "Just -" She sighed, exasperated.

"When I end up needing this," He gingerly patted the saber strapped to his side. "I'll be sure to say 'I told you so.'"

Poe turned and led them through a few more corridors and towards a turbolift. All four of them packed into the lift as it took them up to one of the top-most floors of the former temple. Even through the dampening of her connection to the Force, Rey felt a cold chill walking through these hallways as though the walls themselves had memories. She felt like she had when she had held Ochi's blade – terrible things had happened here.

A young Twi'lek sat at a desk just outside of a large set of double doors, one pink lekku draped over her shoulder. She stood gracefully and smiled warmly as she noticed the group approach and gestured with one hand towards the doorway, allowing them entrance.

The Premier's office was in a round room with windows on all sides, the mid-day sun streamed through making the place seem light and airy even if the dreadful past that haunted the Force here left it feeling stuffy and clogged. A lone desk sat in the middle of the room, with just two chairs on the opposite side. Data pads covered one side of the desk, arranged neatly.

The Premier, Paila Orum, stood as the four former Resistance fighters entered her office, she gestured for them to come closer and smiled tightly, though not unkindly. She was older than Poe, though perhaps only by a decade and she was pleasant to look at, a narrow face with delicate features. Her hair, grey before it's time, was cut short, tightly framing her jaw, and she wore a plain head piece which matched her blue robes perfectly.

"Welcome," the Premier said, her voice light and pleasant, a good trait for a politician. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" She gestured towards the seats with a graceful wave of her hands, but Rey declined the invitation as politely as possible. She did not plan on this conversation being a long one if she could help it.

"Thank you for meeting with us on such short notice, Premier Orum." Rey said, with a slight but respectful bow of her head. "I'm sure you're very busy, I won't take too much of your time. We were only hoping to look through the old Imperial archives," She gestured towards Finn, "I believe that there may be some information belonging to the old Jedi Order that may be useful in our…" Rey paused, her brain scrambling for the right word. "Studies." She concluded lamely.

"Oh," The Premier's smile never faltered though her silver-grey eyes held no warmth. Rey did not know what to make of this woman. She had not been part of the Resistance, instead she was a left-over from the New Republic collapse nominated by both groups to lead the fledgling government. "Yes, I do believe my secretary mentioned something about that." She said tightly.

Rey waited a moment, but the Premier did not continue.

"Rose – I mean, Delegate Tico, informed me that we would need your permission as the Imperial archives are not open to the public so -"

"The Federation archives are not open to anyone, currently." Premier Orum said with a smile that did not reach her eyes. "They are locked down until our archivists can sort through everything. I can have them inform you when and if they find anything pertaining to the Jedi, of course. That would be no problem."

The Premier nodded as if that was what Rey had asked for.

"I was actually hoping we could look through them now, if that would be no trouble." Rey said as politely as possible. Her insides squirmed with anxiety.

"That would not be possible." The Premier responded plainly.

"I could pass your request along to the other delegates." Rose offered helpfully.

"Yes, that would be perfectly acceptable." Premier Orum replied. "Though, of course that could take some time."

Rey glanced over at Rose who was nodding slowly. Rey didn't have the time for her proposal to look through a few old holobooks to go through the collection of delegates only to be denied months down the line. She sighed.

"With all due respect, Premier Orum, those texts belonged to the Jedi Order and seeing as -"

"My apologies, Master Jedi – or, are you a master?" The Premier said, her tone light to offset the sharpness of her words. Rey felt all of the disrespect that was intended and did her best not to allow the frustration building inside of her to show on her face, a trick she was quite unskilled at. "But, at this time, the Galactic Federation recognizes the authority of no Jedi Order, so, I'm afraid, being the last Jedi offers you no jurisdiction here." The Premier was still smiling but her eyes were cold and sharp, like durasteel daggers.

Rey bit her tongue, not wanting to make a fool of herself by offending the Premier of the Galactic Federation by telling her exactly where she could shove her authority. Luckily, Poe was there to do it for her.

"Paila, Rey saved the galaxy last year, surely that gets her a free pass to browse the old Imperial holobook collection?" Poe's brow was furrowed, a mirror of Rey's own emotions. Rose's face went white as a sheet at Poe's outburst, Finn just curled his hands into fists.

Something flashed on the Premier's face then that looked suspiciously close to genuine regret and sincere appreciation, but Rey was far too busy trying to cool the blood in her veins to notice.

Rey disliked Poe playing the whole 'hero of the galaxy' card in her favor, but he wasn't really wrong. It wasn't even like Rey was asking for her small 'Jedi Order', if it could be called that, to be recognized by the Federation or for any claim on authority, she just wanted to look through some old, forgotten texts! Suddenly Rey felt she was back on Ahch-To trying to convince a stubborn old Jedi master to return to the Resistance base with her.

"Unfortunately, it does not." The Premier said, if Rey didn't know any better, she would think genuine sympathy was seeping into the woman's tone. "The archives are locked, I cannot allow favoritism to anyone, no matter how heroic their deeds." Orum's mouth set into a straight line as she concluded.

Rey poked around in the Force. She could feel the stubborn resoluteness radiating off of the Premier. There was no changing her mind.

"This is -" Finn started, but Rey placed a hand on his arm to stop him.

"I understand, Premier Orum." Rey struggled to keep her tone neutral. "I will speak with Delegate Tico about starting a proposal. Please let me know if your archivists do find anything." If the Premier was shocked by Rey's sudden acceptance, she did not show it. Rey's friends on the other hand seemed very confused, Poe shaking his head at Rey slightly, his mouth agape.

"Thank you for your time." Rey said, inclining her head slightly before turning around and leaving the Premier's office. Her face contorting into an angered grimace the second Orum could not see her.

"What was that?" Poe asked catching up with her just outside of the Premier's doors. She grabbed his wrist and led him further down the hall and around a corner until they were far enough away that she was confident they would not be overheard.

"Rey, what's going on?" Finn asked as he and Rose caught up with them.

"Do you really want me to help you start a proposal?" Rose asked, slightly nervous. "My plate is already pretty full, but I would be more than happy to help if you wanted to come by my office, we could -"

Rey cut her friend off with a tight smile.

"Orum wasn't going to change her mind, we'll just have to find another way into the archives." Rey said, determination building as she could feel the bond whip and snap within her.

"A heist!" Poe whispered, his eyes bright and shifting around the empty corridor conspiratorially.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that." Rose said, sighing, though Rey could see a sparkle of mischief in her friend's eyes.

"We're going to break into the Federation archives?" Finn asked, his voice barely audible.

"Yes." Rey said decisively.

Ben stood alone in the darkness; his eyes closed. The whispers whirled around him, a storm of sound. The pull of the distant doorway became a nearly physical thing, he could feel its tendrils wrapping around his form, trying to draw him closer. He sighed, his heart sinking in a kind of resigned defeat he'd felt only once before. If he concentrated hard enough, he could still hear the temple burning around him, could hear the screams of the students trapped inside.

I never… I didn't want this.

And you did not choose it, Ben. The Jedi did. Skywalker.

Ben shook his head. He would not allow Snoke to invade his mind ever again, even in memory, not when he was two years dead by Ben's own hand. Oh, how he wished he could feel pleasure from that, but everything his victory over Snoke represented was tainted by Ben's own greed and by Sidious. Ben's mind had been plagued by the voices of that old corpse for longer than he could remember and now even his emancipation from his supposed 'master' had been poisoned by the revelation that the former Supreme Leader had been nothing but a puppet, much like Ben himself, a pawn in a larger game.

Anger curled in his chest, hot and painful and familiar. He turned to the doorway, his eyes burning, dark coals blazing with dark fire. The fury that unfurled in him was painful, it always had been, but he understood this pain, he found it almost comforting, he longed to wrap himself in it. For just a second, he let his soul bathe in the violent passion he once relied on so completely. Rage sizzled through every fiber of his being and for a fleeting moment he felt like Kylo again, trapped in a prison of dark metal and furious anger.

That thought alone felt like an icy bath, Ben's nerves cooled in an instant and he shuddered, momentarily afraid of himself. After everything how had he allowed himself to slip so easily back into that monster's skin? He'd done it in the forest on Starkiller earlier as well, let Kylo take the reins. Fear coiled around Ben's heart, but he did not allow himself to explore that. Instead, he rushed headlong towards the doorway, desperate for distraction from the fear and regret and remorse of his former life.

Wherever Ben was, truth be told, he was still partial to calling it 'hell', seemed just as eager to grant him that distraction as he was to take it. He plunged himself through the doorway, the silvery light licking at his frame with a cool touch as he did so.

Ben found himself in shockingly familiar surroundings – the living area of his family's apartment in Hanna City. Everything looked just as he remembered from the walls lined with art to the soft white carpet to the clean, modern furniture. The room was bathed in golden-pink light from the setting sun outside.

How long had it been since he had stepped foot in this place he had once called home? He'd been fifteen, given short leave from Luke's temple for his birthday. His mother had been busy nearly his whole visit, helping to plan a gala or ball, perhaps, to celebrate the fifteenth anniversary of the signing of the Galactic Concordance and the end of the Empire, conveniently this anniversary fell on Ben's birthday. Han had had to leave early and had missed the celebration entirely. It was the last time Ben had asked for leave to go home.

As Ben looked around, things were not as neat and orderly as they always were in his memory. Broken dishes littered the kitchen floor, some piece of furniture, now too demolished to tell its original purpose, laid in pieces against a dented wall. Ben could hear shouting, a familiar sound in this dwelling. He followed the sound down a well-known hallway.

His parent's door was closed but he could see light leaking through the cracks and shadows moving and the solid durasteel door did little to dampen his parent's voices.

"He's not well, Leia, he needs a doctor!" Han shouted; Ben's heart twisted more at the mere sound of his father's voice than the words he said.

"This is the Force, Han, there isn't a doctor alive who will know how to handle that, not like Luke can."

Ben' jaw worked hard as his mind supplied him with just how his uncle had tried to handle Ben's particular issues.

"I'm not sending my son away to become some monk like your brother."

"If you're so worried about your son, maybe you should spend more time at home with him!" Leia's own personal brand of diplomatic calm slipped in the way it always seemed to do around her hot-headed husband.

"Oh, you're one to talk, your Worship!" Han scoffed, he only called back to his wife's royal lineage when he was well and truly worked up.

"Don't you call me that, laserbrain!" Ben could practically see his mother's face growing red through the thick door. "I have a job, it's not like I'm off galivanting around the galaxy just for the hell of it."

"I'm sorry I'm not the perfect stay-at-home husband you wanted, Leia. You knew who I was when you married me." Ben imagined his father sticking his finger in his mother's face in a way that was infuriatingly Han Solo. "Did you even ask him what he wants to do? Does he want to go with Luke?"

"This is bigger than what any of us want, Han." Leia's voice quieted, growing sad and resigned. "I just want what's best for him. I can feel the darkness around him, I'm worried for him – and he could have hurt you."

Hot, sharp pain pierced Ben's heart at his mother's words. His lower jaw was trembling uncontrollably with old fear and new regret.

"I dodged, Leia, I'm good at that." Han's voice calmed a bit.

Ben ripped himself away from his parent's door. He couldn't bear to listen any longer. Without thinking, he found himself headed towards his old bedroom. Ben slid the door open to find a storm.

A ten-year-old Ben sat on his bed, long arms wrapped around knobby knees, his face hidden behind a curtain of dark hair he liked to keep long to hide his ears. The boy's chest heaved with quiet sobs. Toys and kick-knacks flew around the boy's head without purpose, understanding, or control.

Why are you troubled, friend? I can sense your distress. Snoke's voice rang through both Bens' heads like a roll of thunder. Ben could feel himself shaking and saw his younger self become more at ease.

"They're fighting again." Young Ben said aloud, too upset to simply respond to the voice in his head with just his mind.

Oh, I'm sorry, my boy. I know how that upsets you. What is it about this time?

Young Ben sighed and let out a pitiful sound, burying his surely tear streaked face in his arms.

"I think I messed up real bad this time." Young Ben whined. "I got mad 'cause my dad is leaving again and he wouldn't let me come with him and I – I got so angry – I couldn't control it! All the plates got smashed up and I almost hit my dad with a chair, I didn't see him there, I swear!" Young Ben's voice was frantic, he looked up and around the room at the toys that floated there, he shrieked when he saw them and they tumbled to the ground.

You know I believe you, Ben.

"I don't know what to do," Young Ben cried. "I think they're going to send me away."

Ben approached the bed cautiously. Young Ben could not see him, he knew that, but he wished he could shake the boy, make him see that this voice in his head was not his friend. Make him see that he was being manipulated, groomed for terrible, awful things he could never take back.

Send you away, what do you mean? Ben could hear the sick pleasure in Snoke's voice. He wondered if it really was Snoke or if it had actually been Palpatine in his younger years and his head started to throb.

"To train with my uncle, Luke. They said he could help me control it, but I don't want to leave! I don't want to be a Jedi!"

No, I don't blame you. Snoke crooned. I'm sorry to say this, friend, but it sounds to me like they are afraid of you.

"What?" Young Ben squeaked.

Through no real fault of your own, my boy. Snoke reassured him, his deep voice a nauseating purr. They are afraid of your power, of your potential. They don't understand you, how could they? They see what you could become and, foolishly, they fear it. Those without power are terrified of those who possess it, my dear friend – I am not afraid of you.

Young Ben did not respond, he buried himself under his blankets and wept.

The scene changed around Ben, colors whipped and swirled, and he felt dizzy. He closed his eyes to stem the nausea, when he opened them again, he found himself in the grassy clearing outside of Luke's temple on Yavin IV which served as sparring grounds.

He saw an older Ben, maybe eighteen, it was hard to say, his wooden stave pressed against the practice blade of another Padawan, a young woman of about the same age, Voe. She pushed hard against his blade; her face contorted in frustration. Young Ben merely smirked at the girl. Ben had always been Luke's strongest student and Voe had always been jealous of his connection to the Force. On particularly bad days, Ben had liked to rub it in.

He shrugged her off easily and Voe tumbled back but regained her footing quickly.

"Tai, Hennix, give me some help!" Voe called out to the two students behind her. The young Quarren, Hennix, jumped in quickly pulling his own stave towards him via the Force, but Tai stayed back.

"Come on, Voe, three on one is hardly fair!" The young man called out, worry etched on his face. Tai had always been kind, compassionate and patient. He would have been a great Jedi, Ben thought mournfully.

"Don't worry about me, Tai." Young Ben called out with a laugh; his posture relaxed in stark contrast to the two students circling him. "I can handle it. I'm just glad Voe realizes she can't take me without help."

The young woman growled and rushed Young Ben, her white braids flying behind her. She jumped up, calling on the force to propel her higher, her blade raised high above her head. Ben laughed as he blocked her, their blades hitting each other with a loud thwack, throwing her down onto the ground with a hard thud. Hennix came around from the right and Young Ben whipped around to meet his strike. Thwack!

Young Ben reached out with the Force; his blade still locked against the wooden blade of the Quarren. He let the tendrils of the Force wrap themselves around the body of his opponent, freezing him. He threw the padawan back onto the ground, though he took care not to throw him hard enough to hurt, not really.

"Ben," Luke chastised from the side lines.

"What?" Young Ben called from over his shoulder. Use of the Force was a legitimate tactic in lightsaber combat.

Distracted by his uncle, Ben nearly missed Voe's attack on his left, but he whirled around to meet her, thwack, pushing hard into her stave's blade, dropping her to her knees. He had to jump out of the way when Hennix rushed him. He met the Quarren's attack and knocked the blade from his grip. Young Ben grabbed the second stave as it fell and held it in his off hand.

He whipped around to meet Voe who was charging again, he used both blades to push back against her. Thwack, thwack, thwack! The hard hits of wood on wood rang through the sparring grounds. The chorus of their blades clashing was so loud they had drawn a crowd out from the temple to watch their match. Voe was relentless, coming at Young Ben with all she had, but it simply wasn't enough.

Ben trapped the blade of Voe's stave in between both of his, trapping her momentarily. He then took that opportunity to kick out with his right foot, hitting her in the stomach, knocking her onto her back and her weapon from her hand. He lowered both blades towards her chest.

A vison flashed before Ben's eyes, Voe on her back before him, a red lightsaber – Ren's lightsaber – run through her chest, the life leaving her eyes. The original Master of the Knights, had been Ben's first 'good kill', Ren had called it, one you wanted, Hennix hadn't counted. Voe had been his second.

Ben… You killed him. You killed the Knight's master. Ren.

Of course I did. I'm a murderer, remember?

You're not a Jedi, Voe, and you never will be. There's no one left to train you.

No… Oh no…

Why do you even want to live?

The death of Voe.

The death of Ben Solo.

The birth of Kylo Ren.

"Yield?" Young Ben asked with a cock-sure grin. He tossed Hennix's wooden stave back to its owner and used his off hand to flick a bit of imaginary dust from his shoulder, a gesture Luke would later use to taunt his nephew on Crait. Ben bristled at the sight of it even now.

Voe said nothing. She scrunched her face up at him and scrambled to her feet, collecting her stave which had fallen to the ground. Tai, who had never joined the fight, shook his head, but he was clearly suppressing a laugh.

"Ben," Luke placed a hand on Young Ben's shoulder, the younger man grimaced, well versed in the lecture he was about to receive. "Showboating is not the way of the Jedi." His uncle smiled and his blue eyes glinted with a hint of humor. "And try to go easy on your fellow students." Luke added with a whisper meant only for his nephew.

"Why?" Ben asked, rounding on his uncle. "Darksiders won't go easy – the Knights of Ren wouldn't go easy on them! Isn't that what we're training for? To fight them?" Ben and his uncle had met the knights on a mission years ago and they had been at the forefront of Ben's mind ever since.

Kid, you ever want to try something different, learn more about your shadow… come look us up. And years later, Ben had done just that.

"We don't train to fight, Ben, we train to defend. The Jedi are meant to be peacekeepers, not warriors." Luke said with a serious frown. Young Ben rolled his eyes.

"Sometimes you have to fight to defend, right?" Young Ben asked, furrowing his brow. "You blew up the Death Star to defend the Rebel Alliance, you fought Darth Vader to defend the galaxy!" Ben argued. Luke Skywalker blanched at the mention of his father, his mechanical hand working beside him nervously, but Young Ben hardly noticed. "Did Darth Vader go easy on you?"

"You aren't going to be fighting Darth Vader, Ben." Luke said flatly, his blue eyes lost to visions of the past.

"No, but we should be training like we will be!" Young Ben's off hand curled into a fist. "You never know when the next Darth Vader wannabe is going to –"

"I think that's enough for today." Luke said, his tone dripping with finality. Young Ben glowered at his master but did not argue.

Ben's vision began to swim again, he blinked rapidly. When the world solidified, it was clear that he was still in the Jedi temple. He was in the dining hall. Normally, students would be scattered about, chatting idly among their friends, but today nearly everyone was gathered around one table, whispering heatedly. He made a step to approach when the door swung open. Ben knew this day, remembered it with startling clarity. It was burned into his memory like a brand.

An even older Ben, about twenty-three-years-old, entered the hall, light streaming in behind him, and the room fell deathly quiet. Tai, who had been in amongst the large group of padawans shot up and rushed over to Young Ben, placing a hand on the taller boy's chest.

"Hey, Ben, I think Master Skywalker was looking for you," Tai began with a strained smile. Though he was across the room from them, Ben could practically feel Tai's hand on him now, trying to lead him away from the chaos – but chaos had always called to Ben. "Let's go find him."

Young Ben looked at his friend quizzically before noticing the large group of students staring at him with rapt attention. No one spoke save for the occasional whisper Young Ben could not make out. It was clear they were looking at something.

"What's going on over there?" Young Ben asked, trying to shake Tai off. Tai's insistence that they leave only growing by the second, the young man's blue eyes flashed with warning as Ben tried to approach the group.

"Nothing, man, they're all just being idiots, let's go find Master –"

Young Ben pushed his friend off and charged headlong into his doom, Tai stumbled behind, desperate to stop him. The students were gathered around a datapad. As Young Ben drew nearer, the other padawans skittered back. Some, especially the younger ones, watched him carefully. He could feel their fear and confusion radiating off of them in the force.

He picked the datapad up. Tai tried to rip it from his grasp, kept up his insistence that they needed to go see Luke, but Young Ben couldn't hear him anymore.

SCANDAL IN THE SENATE! The headline read. PRINCESS LEIA SKYWALKER ORGANA SOLO… VADER? The New Republic Senator's true parentage revealed in shocking… But Young Ben couldn't read anymore, his vision had gone fuzzy, his breathing came in sharp bursts. He threw the datapad to the ground where it sparked and broke. A few students behind him let out an audible gasp, he whirled around to look at them.

Their eyes were wide, a few trembled – but Young Ben was trembling too. This couldn't be real, it had to be a dream. His family wouldn't keep this from him, it couldn't be true. He could hear his fellow student's whispers; he could hear their thoughts.

No wonder he's so angry all the time.

It makes so much sense.

I was always afraid of him, have you seen how he fights?

I could sense the shadow in him.

Anakin Skywalker had become Darth Vader, Darth Vader was Luke and Leia's father, Darth Vader was Ben's grandfather. The students were afraid of his family, they were afraid of him… everyone was afraid of him. If Anakin Skywalker, hero of the Clone Wars, could become such a monster, what would his sullen, stormy, quick to anger grandson become?

Young Ben ran from the temple, he ran straight to his hut and locked himself inside. He had heard Tai calling after him, but Young Ben had ignored his friend. Ben's mother had sent him a message, a message! She clearly hadn't considered this revelation important enough to warrant a visit or even a call. He never ended up listening to that message and wondered for years what she might have said.

Luke had been at his door minutes after the scene in the dining hall, desperate to speak with Ben, but he couldn't talk to anyone, no one but Snoke.

Ben could hear his younger self's thoughts, or maybe he just remembered them. Snoke had been right all along. They were afraid of him and this was why. They could see the darkness inside of him, his grandfather's legacy. They could see that he was meant to follow in Vader's footsteps, that he was built for it. Snoke understood, Snoke had known all along and was still his friend. He could go to Snoke, but he couldn't abandon his family, could he?

The choice was made for him by his uncle late one night only weeks later. Young Ben awoke to his master and uncle standing over him, green lightsaber held aloft, crazed look in his eyes, murderous intent clear on his face and in the Force that surrounded him.

"Ben, no!" Luke had cried out as Young Ben had defended himself.

Those words echoed around in the nothingness as Ben was shoved from the memory and back into the void.

Ben just stood there as the quiet whispers engulfed him once again. Normally these visons left him feeling angry or terribly broken, now, he just felt naïve, embarrassed, stupid and strangely hollow. He'd allowed himself to be so thoroughly manipulated and controlled, had any point in his life ever truly been his own?

Yes. A smile crept onto his face as he remembered Rey in his arms, his life dragging hers back from the great beyond. He had chosen to bring her back. It had not been part of a larger plot, had not been the scheme of some hidden master lurking in the shadows, it had been all Ben and it was the one good choice he had made in a lifetime of terrible ones, one he could be proud of – nothing could take that from him.