Chapter 12

Balancing three pizza boxes and a case of beer on his own, Javi showed up at the loft after work that night, kicked his foot against Rick's door a few times, absent a free hand, to announce his arrival.

Rick let him in after a matter of only seconds and started in on him just as swiftly.

"You couldn't just use the buzzer like a civilized person, Esposito? I half expected to find SWAT standing there with the ram when I opened the door."

Javi moved inside, stopped in the foyer beside him, slowly turned his head. "Ram this, bro, okay? Grab the case before it crushes the damn pie. If the cheese ends up being all jacked on the top one, it's got your name on it."

Rick lent a hand, albeit with reluctance. "They all do, actually. I paid for them."

"What's your point?"

Javi's scowl had him immediately pivoting course. "So, Ryan's not with you?" He opened the box of beer, pulled out two bottles, and slid the others into the fridge.

"He ducked out early. He and Jenny had some appointment to make goo-goo eyes at each other or whatever, I don't know. Something for the wedding. He'll be here." He gave the place a sweep. The poker table wasn't set up, nor was there anyone else around. He'd expected both. That's why he'd come. "Where's your boys at, Castle? Not that I can't polish off three Authentic Nick's by myself, but our case is shit, and taking everyone's money tonight was going to help me sleep."

"Hey, Jav."

The voice came from across the room, from Kate, who'd stepped out of Rick's office without drawing his attention.

His eyes shot first to Rick, who returned a half-smile, then he shifted his surprise to her. "Beckett, girl, what? You're here?" Kate crossed to him and they embraced, not as partners in blue, but as the dear friends reuniting after too long that they were. "Castle never said anything. I didn't know you were back. Damn, considering everything, you look good."

"Thanks, Espo. I feel good. Or better, at least." Her eyes traveled Rick's way, and not subtly. "And don't worry. I'm not pissed anymore about you helping this one to find me."

"It was Ryan!" Rick exclaimed and earned a glare from both. "I swear. I really tried, Esposito. She wouldn't buy it. I-okay, why don't I just go… away," he stammered, "let you catch up?" He went back into the kitchen, allowed the two a moment alone.

"You really do look good," Javi told her, gentler the second time. He wore his relief openly. "I missed you, girl. You know you could've-" He cut himself off. She knew. "I'm glad you're back. We could use you down at the house. Things are different with the new captain and everything."

"Castle told me about Gates kicking him out. I hope you guys celebrated," she joked.

"Naw, we give him a hard time, but we love your boy. It was rough. Castle's been going non-stop for you since the shooting. He didn't deserve the axe."

Kate looked over and watched Rick playing at being busy. Her eyes smiled.

"Yeah, I love him, too."

"He know that now?" he asked on the other side of a pause, and she gave a single nod. "Good for you. I mean you could obviously do better, but you know me. I'm all about the support."

She giggled.

"I'm going to talk to Gates. I got cleared by my doctor today. I'm back at the 12th next week, and I'm going to talk to her about Castle. If I need it, would you jump in for him, Javi? He belongs there with us."

The door buzzed and Rick scooted to tend to it.

"Don't worry. I got you," he said. They both heard Kevin's voice. "Partner does, too."

"Holy cow, Beckett!" She and Javi met him halfway, and he put his arms around her. "I can't believe you're here. This is a much better surprise than the cannoli Jenny bought for us." Rick flipped open the box of pastries and his eyes widened. "God, we've missed you."

Javi swatted him on the arm. "Quit blubbering, bro. She gets it. Let the woman breathe."

"Right, sorry. It's just, wow. It's you. Here."

"Pizza's getting cold. Who wants in?" Rick called out and flagged the crew over. "Ryan, beer's in the fridge. If Jenny's letting you have beer, of course. If not, we'll all enjoy pointing and snickering at you while you drink juice."

"I've missed you less, Castle," Kevin mumbled.

Kate quietly rounded the counter to Rick and curled an arm around his waist, while the other two dug into the boxes. She rested her head on his chest and he leaned in, touched his lips to hers.

"Whoa!" Kevin blurted at the sight. "That's new. I mean seeing it is new," he added when Javi scolded him with a look. "We've known for, like, a while, obviously."

"What can I say, boys? She finally wore me down, threw herself at me." Rick shrugged. "I guess begging does actually work sometimes, and it was just her lucky night."

Javi shook his head. "You sure you want this clown back at work with us, Beckett? I'm cool without him, as long as he leaves the badass coffee behind."

Kevin washed down his mouthful of pizza with a gulp of beer. "Wait, Gates said you could come back, Castle? That's awesome."

Kate kissed him again softly when he couldn't say yes.

xxxx

They'd spent the night before at Kate's place. They'd been trading off, going back and forth from his loft to her apartment as they fancied, but she'd wanted to wake up in her own bed on that morning, one of the most meaningful mornings of her career. Of her life.

Standing in the shower at dawn, she was like a kid on the first day of school following summer break. She felt so many things at once, and each so distinctly-the excitement, the uncertainty, the hope-each pumping through her with every beat of her heart, and the beats were screaming around the track.

There was also fear, and though she tried to deny it its place, there was a thing about fear: it wasn't always such a great listener.

Rick came up behind her as she stood at the bathroom sink, brushed her wet hair from her neck, and pressed his lips against her skin. Her robe hung from her shoulders, open, both ends of its sash dangling free, granting passage for his hand to wander and settle atop her warm breast.

"Tell me how you feel," he said, and their eyes met in the mirror.

Kate could see only to his waist in the reflection. He was still naked from sleep and the tease of it titillated her with a bang. It pained her there wasn't time to visit, but the wicked place she shot off to plucked a noteworthy string that would no doubt reverberate all across the day's hours.

She flashed a glance downward, at his fingers tickling beneath the silk, and then came back to him. "You tell me," she countered in velvety tone.

His foggy, morning smile faded into solemnity. "You're going to be okay, Kate." He shifted aside the fabric and exposed her scar, traced over it affectionately. "You're still here. You're still you, and that's the strongest, bravest person I've ever known."

She rotated her body, pulled him into a slow, deep kiss.

"Will you come with me? Just be with me until…"

"You don't even have to ask. I'll be whatever and wherever you need me to be." He tapped her gently beneath the chin until she raised her eyes to his. "Remember, first, last, and everything in between, and I love you more than there are words."

"I love you, too," Kate whispered against his lips, and the beat of her heart raced with it.

xxxx

Along the way, Rick slipped into his usual morning joint and grabbed them each a coffee before they continued on to the precinct. Kate held his hand in the elevator when they arrived, didn't let go when the doors opened to what had always been for her another home.

It was the scent of it that flooded her first. She'd grown so accustomed to it over the years, she hadn't realized its absence would foster such nostalgia, but it instantly soothed her like a touch.

The pair stepped out together, paused for a moment at the edge of the bullpen. She observed with reverence her second family buzz around the floor, the family she'd come an inch from being ripped from, and tears welled up in her eyes before she could stop them.

The applause was what pulled her out of it. They all stopped along their paths and greeted her return with supportive cheer.

"What the hell is going on out there?"

Inside her office, Captain Gates pulled off her glasses and dropped them onto her desk in a snit. Kate's partners, seated opposite her, exchanged shrugs but jumped up right behind her when she got up to investigate.

"It's Beckett," Kevin said and pushed around the two.

"Our girl's back," Javi followed and likewise headed off.

Gates stood alone in the doorway, observed the scene. She knew Kate only on paper, her voice from a single phone call, but she'd already earned her respect-admiration even-simply by walking back through the door.

"Detective Beckett," she called over the buzz, "a moment? In my office." She watched Kate turn to Rick, watched him tenderly kiss her forehead, whisper something in her ear. "Now, please."

"Close the door, Detective," she instructed when Kate walked in. "Sit. That was quite a welcome. It seems you've been missed around here." It wasn't a question, so she didn't get an answer. "You've been through quite an ordeal. Are you sure you're up for being here? Are you sure you're ready for this?" she posed calculatedly.

Kate didn't like the tone of it, the suggestion of doubt in the words of a woman she'd never even met. Hell, Kate didn't enjoy having her capability questioned by anyone, no matter the circumstance.

She gave her captain a dead stare.

"Did you hear me, or do I need to repeat myself?"

"I wouldn't be here if I weren't ready. And whatever you read about me in that file," she added having noticed it there, labeled with her name, before she sat, "doesn't even begin to tell you the kind of cop I am."

On her elbows, Gates peered over the rim of the glasses she'd propped back up on her nose.

"Is that so? And what kind of cop is that, Beckett?"

"The kind that doesn't need to prove to anyone that this is exactly where I belong." Without a word, Gates leaned back in her chair. Their focus remained fixed on one another. "I want to talk about Castle."

She hadn't intended on bringing him up in minute one. In her amped state, it'd just come out of her, and with the cocked brow of a cue she drew, she kept going.

"As much as Esposito and Ryan are, Castle is my partner, and I'd like for you to trust me when I tell you he should be here, that we're better when he's here."

Gates folded her arms across her chest. "The man has zero training in police work or procedure, Detective, and from what I've gathered, a very loud mouth. One of those could get my people killed. The other just pisses me off."

"Join the club," Kate muttered. "Look, you're right, Castle may not have run through the academy obstacle courses or read the textbooks, but, as the best detective you've got, I'm telling you he has a mind for this. He comes at things in a special way, and sometimes he can see the full story where we can only see pages."

Gates sat quiet a moment.

"And you and Mr. Castle are…"

"Yes." The inference was apparent, and a lie would've been foolish. "What we are will be kept out of the job. I promise you that."

"I can promise you, Beckett, that if just one of his toes crosses a line and I hear about it, he'll be out of my house again so fast it'll make his loud mouth spin. And another thing, if you want me to trust you, you have to trust me. That road travels both ways. Now, he was a fine man and a solid captain, but I am not Roy Montgomery. You may not always like it, but whether you do or you don't, you and I are in this together now, Detective." She pulled back into her desk. "You're excused. Tell Mr. Castle I'll be watching him, so he best watch himself."

Kate got up, walked to the door, and turned over her shoulder. "Thank you, Captain," she said, still somewhat in shock.

"We're all glad to have you back here, Detective Beckett," Gates replied without granting her eye.

A small group was gathered around her desk when she came out, Rick among them. She'd expected he'd have gone. She certainly hadn't expected he'd now be able to stay.

It took a few seconds, but they found one another across the room and through those people she'd missed. Kate smiled because she had a secret. He smiled back because he no longer had one.

XX

"May it [Castle] be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out." J.R.R. Tolkien

Thank you all, for everything.

Take good care of yourselves and each other.