Izuku tilts his head up, grey clouds shrouded over the dorm buildings and Mutatsufu. Despite being just after lunch, the sky is dark and everything seems faded in color. He shivers as wind starts picking up, goosebumps rising on his skin. All voices seem to be silenced except the scratching sound of dried leaves, twirling in circles on the ground. Izuku can almost feels it in the air. The stillness before a storm.

Somehow, it makes him harder to breathe. Not only because of the chillness, or the humid air around him that's suffocating. It's the anticipation - the foreshadow of something to come. Clenching his hands into fists, he lets fingernails dig deep into palms before forcefully releases them again. Trying but failing to ease the anxiety curling at the pit of his stomach.

A storm is coming. And Izuku dreads it.

"Midoriya?"

The voice jolts him out of his thoughts. Turning around he see spiky red hair, Kirishima waving at him.

"Em. Hi, Kirishima-kun!"

"Just saw you sitting here alone, thought I'd come to say hi," Kirishima gives him a friendly grin. "Aizawa sensei just came in to told us there's a storm coming up."

Glancing back, Izuku can see the back of their teacher in the common room through the windows. Being dinner time, classmates gather to chat and eat. It's good. After all the things that happened, class 1-A have finally settled down in the dorms. It has only been a month since the summer camp, but it feels like a year to Izuku. They went to the trip in early August. Then there's the kidnapping, Kamino, All Might retiring, new living arrangement, license exam, his fight with Kacchan, and now the internship…

Listing them out makes it sounds worse. He had been fine. He felt fine. So why does his heart feels like constricting now of all times? Belatedly, Izuku realized he'd forgotten his classmate until a hand waves in front of his face.

" - doriya?" Kirishima looks worried. "You alright? You zoned out."

"Oh uh, sorry, I'm…" Izuku is about to say he is fine, but no, he isn't, is he? "There's just a lot on my mind."

Understanding dawns on the red head's face. "You thinking about the mission?"

Seeing Midoriya's nod, the boy adds quietly. "To be honest I'm having a hard time to stop myself from thinking about it, too"

Looking at his classmate troubled but sincere face, a lump form at Izuku's throat.

"It's just that," Izuku clear his throat before continue in a more steady voice. "I just can't stop thinking back when I met Eri during the patrol and — " The guilt that he let someone slipped from his fingertips, again, bubbles up to his throat. Eri sounded scared, her body trembling, small fists clutched tight to his hero costume.

"We need to save her, Kirishima-kun." His voice catches, staring at his marred hand.

"Yeah," despite the slightly shadowed gaze, the look on Kirishima's face is determined, which kind of reminds Izuku of his explosive friend. The thought almost makes him smile, because Kacchan always got the power to push through the toughest situation. "I know the pro heroes are working on this. We'd have to give our best too, right?"

Izuku returns a grateful smile to his friend, ignoring the tiny traitorous voice at the back of his mind, what if his best isn't enough?

"Oi, Shitty Hair!" Kacchan unmistakable voice startles the two of them. Turning around, they see the blond has come out of the dorm, hands holding a plate. "You want this or not, or I'm fucking throwing it away."

Confused, Izuku glances down to the plate. A steaming curry rice, and from the colour of it, super spicy as well. Raising his eyebrows, is Kacchan cooking for his friend? That's... surprisingly nice of him. Kacchan and he had been much less hostile around each other ever since the fight, but Izuku doubts he would be cooking anything for him soon.

"What are you muttering, nerd?" Growls the blond.

"Eep, nothing! Kacchan."

Kirishima laughs. "I'd better get going before he throws away my dinner," giving a pat on Izuku shoulder before picking up the dish from his friend, gushing about how manly it is to be able to cook such a delicious meal for his friend.

"Whatever," Kacchan deadpans before turning around to shout at the retreating back of spiky red hair, who just gives them a lazy wave. "You do the dishes, you hear me, Dipshit?"

Izuku watches the interaction with amusement. But then the pause in their conversation brought him back to reality. The fear, the guilt, are back in full force. He pulls his gaze back on Kacchan, who is staring him down with a frown. Is he angry about something? But he don't remember doing anything that'd make him angry. Why is he —?

"Fuck, stop muttering," Izuku clenches his mouth shut. "Is All Might dying or something?"

"Wh—what!?"

"You look — Ugh, just tell me, is something wrong with him or is it your damn quirk?" Kacchan demands.

Did Kacchan notices how worked up he is? Oh right, Kacchan knows about his quirk now.

"Uh, no. It's not about One For All," swallowing, Izuku answers. "It's — you know about Sir Nighteye, All Might's former sidekick?"

"Of course I do. He was All Might's only sidekick."

"It's just that I am interning with Sir Nighteye right now. And I know I'm not allowed to talk about the details," He pauses, thinking how to say. "In a way, it's related to All Might so... "

"We've got this mission coming, where Sir Nighteye don't want to use his quirk, and I think I am the only one who realize the reasons behind it, which involves All Might? I wanted to tell All Might about it but I can't. I keep thinking maybe if they can talk to each other, then the mission can go much more smoothly with Sir Nighteye willing to use his quirk. I know this sounds so selfish because I know he'd got his own reason for not using it. But this mission is so important. We can't fail. I can't fail again."

Izuku knows he's rambling, he tried but he can't stop.

"Kacchan, I —There's this little girl I met in patrol, she was so scared. She came to me for help but I couldn't do anything. It was dangerous and I let her go, I sent her back to the place where she wanted to escape the most. This mission — what if it's already too late, Kacchan? I was this close to saving her, and I missed the chance, again. If only I had been stronger, if only I didn't hesitate. She wouldn't have been suffering right now or worse! Maybe — maybe you were right all this time, Kacchan. All Might must have make a big mistake. Did you know I wasn't the first choice of One For All's successor?. Because how can I be the next symbol of peace when I am such a useless Deku — "

"—FUCKING. STOP!"

And Izuku does. He is panting heavily, hands clutching his chest, body folding forward. He feels raw, the words has tumble out of his mouth like a broken dam. He looks up but he can't see Kacchan's expression, because all that flashes through his eyes is the image of pale hand grabbing the throat of his childhood friend, slowly disappearing through a portal. Stay back, Deku.

"I wasn't fast enough. I was too damn slow, and too stupid to hurt myself to a point that I couldn't reach you—"

"What are you even saying—?"

"You were right next to me, and I didn't notice until it was too late — and how could I save anyone if I couldn't even save my oldest friend!? I thought I'd lost you!" Izuku cries, burying his face in his hands. He remembers the pain, and the fear. The horrifying realization that he could've loss Kacchan, the symbol of victory that he has always look up to all his life. Despite all the rough pushes and cruel words, that blond kid that he'd always followed. Izuku had screamed then, because he couldn't handle it. The possibility of losing the one thing he'd been chasing since he could barely walk, taken out of his reach forever right before he can finally catch up. He just couldn't.

"...And now I fail to save another little girl again." His voice breaks, and Izuku feels tears stream down his face. Silence rings out with the words just said hanging in the space between them.

Then the raindrop falls.

Izuku feels the rain hit the back of his neck, water seeps through his t-shirt at his hunched back. Oh god, what a mess. Did he just shout all of that at Kacchan? He doesn't know how long he sat there just like that, head bowed and out in the rain on a bench just outside of their dorm building. He could've gone inside but he wants to stay, letting the rain to wash away his pain and tears. Distantly, he's aware the person sitting next to him hasn't leave. Silently, but still there.

"Deku."

Izuku looks up.

Kacchan is staring straight ahead, arms crossed without locking eyes with him. He is soaking wet too, water drips from his blond hair and red eyes watching something he can't see. The sound of pouring rain between them.

"It was you, wasn't it?"

—what?

"The one who came up with that feat in Kamino."

Izuku's eyes widen.

"I knew it. It looks like something that come straight out of your stupid notebook."

Embarassed, Izuku flails. "Eh!?"

Kacchan doesn't give him any reaction, instead he says,

"I am not dying, nerd."

And Izuku breath catches.

"Really, who the fuck do you think I am?" Red eyes locks with green ones, and Kacchan smirks.

And just like that, Izuku eyes are blurred with tears again. But no, they are not sad tears, not anymore. He feels lighter, much lighter than he'd been for awhile. Frowning as Izuku starts to cry again, Kacchan just sighs. He shakes out his totally wet hair before standing to leave, muttering something about crybaby, which makes Izuku smiles through his tears.

Before he enters the building though, he turns around.

"Hey, you still planning to surpass me?"

Before Izuku can scramble an answer, the blond continues.

"I'm not gonna sit around and wait for your sorry ass. So keep the fuck up, nerd."

Izuku gives him a teeth-showing grin, with all the snot and tears on his face.

When Izuku has gathered himself enough to go back into the common room. Kirishima stops him .

"Oh hey, Midoriya!" The boy waves at him from the kitchen. Curious, Izuku follows the boy in. To his surprise, he saw a plate of uneaten curry rice at kitchen counter.

Kirishima scratches his head sheepishly. "I was washing the dishes and found Bakugou cooked some extra curry. I don't know why he cooked that much but he'd kill me if I just throw it away."

Clapping his hand in front him, the red head looks at him with pleading eyes. "You haven't had dinner yet, right?"

Stunned, Izuku nods automatically. Kirishima thanks him profusely and gives him the plate. Did Kacchan cooked for him as well?

As Izuku sits by the window watching the rain hit the window pane soundly, he promises himself that he'd do his best in the mission. No matter how hard it's going to be, he'd do it with a smile on his face, just like the number one hero. He grins before swallows another gulp of super spicy curry, fighting through the burn on his tongue.