Chapter 3: Reality

The air was thick and clung to your skin as if it were the reeds in the swampy waters. First Sergeant Jefferson pulled out a necklace around from inside his shirt and pressed the cold star around his neck and across his forehead before placing it back in his shirt on his heart; the ice providing him a momentary reprieve. He glanced down the tree line to his right, no signal yet. He leaned back on his steed stretching out his back, the war was in its third year and showed no sign of ending. Since his leave back in the first year of the war he has not been able to get home. He missed his family so much, little Clara had been a baby of a few months of age when he saw her last, now she would be a toddler of 2 years. Most of all he missed Elsa, they were still corresponding, though letters had become few and far between, his company was moving around often and she was dodging council members and suitors as well as running all of Arendelle herself.

He was ready for this war to end. He's seen too much, lost to many friends and brothers. This war was beyond brutal, it was fought in a farm field, amongst trees, through creeks and rivers, brother vs. brother, father vs. son. Elsa had been right when she wrote note one would escape

this war unscatehed. He's seen limps blow off men, intestines falling out of stomachs, vacant eyes staring into nothingness in fear. He'd held boys and men alike in their waning moments of their lives as they cried for their wives and mothers.

Movement to his right caught his attention, a red flag, they were about to charge. William looked to his left, " Captain, the red flag is waved." His Captain, Captain Sheon who'd been with the company as long as William when he was a Second Lieutenant. "Give the order, sergeant." William turned to his company and raised his hand "Company advance" he shouted and the company began to move forward as one. William urged his horse forward, keeping the line and advancing across the field at a trot, as they came over the crest of the hill and the field he saw the enemy line advancing the Republic's infantry. William's company had been ordered to flank the enemy to their right coming from the river and over the hill. "Charge, Sergeant" Captain Shoen ordered and William shouted to the men before pushing his horse in to a gallop, as the neared the enemy they picked up speed, artillery began firing at them, cannon balls flying at impossible speeds across the field trying to slow them down, William pushed forward, soon we was crashing into the enemy lines, William fired his carbine as fast as he could as he entered the fray, and as the enemy came closer he switched to his pistol, firing rapidly. A cannon blasted in front of him, causing his horse to rear, sending him to the ground, he lay stunned for a moment before recovering and rolling just as he felt a wizz go by his ear, he reflexively raised his pistol, shooting the southern in the gut. Scanning his surroundings he saw his Captain had lost his horse too and was laying on the ground.

William thought quickly, he moved towards his Captain, pulling him on his back and moving towards a low group of boulders and laying his Captain down. "Where are you hurt, Captain?"

"My leg." The Captain gestured. William nodded before scotting around them, he saw a southern approaching and shot him down. Using the moment of reprieve he pulled out his scarf and wrapped in around the Captain's leg above the wound. Then William peaked out again, the battle field was moving, unfortunately it appeared back towards them, the Republic losing ground. He heard a moan and saw a young private trying to pull himself away from the advancing Southerners. Loading his rifle and pistol William fired at an advancing southerner and ran for the boy. Grabbing him under the arm he began pulling while backpedaling. A southern man to their left lifted his gun, but William beat him to it and the man fell. William lended the private next to the Captain who'd managed to lean himself against the rocks. William noticed the private was clutching his lower belly, taking the boy's handkerchief and then used his belt to keep it tight.

For the next few hours William kept the advancing southerners from their position while recovering two more soldiers. It was late in the evening when the Republic finally turned the tide of the battle again and drove the southerners into retreat. William was exhausted and leaned back against the boulders as the sounds of battle faded to nothing. His Captain, pale but still breathing, looked at him; " You did good today Jefferson."

"Thank you Captain." William smiled gently before reflexively pulling out Elsa's token and gripping it in his hand as if he squeezed it tight enough that maybe Elsa could feel him, knowing he was letting her know he had survived another battle.

"Are you ever going to tell me where you got that odd medallion?" His Captain asked. He was tired looking but he was content looking as well, allowing them a moment before they would have to resume their duties.

William sighed at the thought of Elsa, "She made it for me." He said, pulling out the picture of Elsa he had and giving it to his Captain. He shouldn't but for some reason right now he wanted, needed somebody to know about her, to know that she was his, even if it wasn't official and they hadn't seen each other in years.

The Captain's mouth fell, "Isn't that….." he couldn't finish the sentence.

"Queen Elsa of Arendelle, yes." William beamed.

"How'd you, your girl is the Snow Queen?" The Captain was baffled and confused.

"My father is the Republic's Ambassador to Arendelle, we met while I was there with him for Crown Princess Anna's first child's christening. We met a few times and then started correspondence, we've continued throughout the war."

The Captain shook his head again, "She's waiting for you?"

William's heart jumped, "I believe so, she's had many suitors come for her hand since we met and the war started and she has turned them all down. I just hope I will be able to return to her."

Captain Shoen nodded in camaraderie, likely thinking of his own wife and his two sons and daughter, whom William knew he hadn't seen since they were 1, 3, and 5 respectively.

"If anything happens to me, you'll write to her for me? Send her back the medallion?"

"It'd be my honor, Sergeant." They relaxed next to each other a moment longer before Captain Shoen spoke once more. "Alright Sergeant, get Private Tompkins to the medical tent and then bring back help to get the rest of us."

"Yes sir.

Elsa stared down at the missives in front of her, and rubbed her temples, war was cropping up all over the world. The civil war in the Passic's was in its fourth year, the countries of the Rhine and Caucasus were fighting over some dutchies that made up there borders, and she even had word that Tiber nation was building its army up along its northern border. She prayed that war would stay far from Arendelle; they had good relations with their neighboring countries so it would be surprising.

Reaching next to her she picked her now luke warm tea and took a long sip, it was late in the evening and she should be heading to bed soon, Anna would be furious with her if she stayed up again too late, but with Eirik and Brandt Anna was unable to be on top of her like before.

Elsa smiled at the thought of her two little nephews, Eirik was four and half and Brandt was just three last month. The two boys had their mother's endless energy and their father's build; both boys were tall for their age with broad shoulders. Eirik took after Kristoff the most in looks with golden blonde hair and light brown eyes. Brandt was Anna through and through, he had light auburn hair and bright blue eyes, and unlike Eirik had the same smattering of freckles on his cheeks. It filled Elsa's heart with joy to hear the pitter patter of their little feet as they ran through the castle on various adventures. The castle finally felt like the home it had been in her very early childhood.

"You're supposed to get to bed at a reasonable hour." Elsa looked up to see Anna leaning against the door frame of her office. At 27 Anna was truly coming into her looks, her face had thinned, losing what had remained of her "baby fat" in her cheeks, she had an new air of confidence that came not only with being an Ambassador (to Corona, Heir presumptive, but with being a mother. She looked more and more like their mother with each passing day; she'd even taken to wearing her hair in the same way as their late mother had.

Elsa leaned back in her chair stretching slightly; "Just finishing up reading these last letters." Elsa held up two remaining envelopes.

Anna walked up to the desk, placing her hands on the end of the it she leaned forward; "I'm sure they can wait until tomorrow."

Elsa shook her head, "They'll take me not 10 minutes to read, then I will go to bed."

Anna rolled her eyes, "Ten minutes to read and two hours to contemplate."

Elsa picked up her letter opener and sliced open the first of the letters, "I think you are exaggerating." Anna placed her hand over Elsa's as she tried to take the letter out of the envelope.

"I'm just worried about you, you've been working yourself too hard, I know you're doing it because you haven't heard from William in six months, but working yourself to bone, is not going to get a letter here any sooner, let alone him."

Elsa looked away and swallowed. It was true she hadn't heard from William since he sent her a letter 6 months ago letting her know he'd completed his three month officer training course and was now a Second Lieutenant. She'd sent him a letter congratulating him on his achievement. She knew he wouldn't hear of any praise, he'd sent a letter when he'd started the course, explaining that due to the high number of casualties among officers during the war, the military had implemented a program to put enlisted men with university degrees through an officer training program, and he'd been selected. She'd told him that despite the reason for the program, the fact he'd been chosen said much about his skill and ability as a leader. She never heard back from him. It was hardly the first time there had been months between his letters, she just continued to write as if he had responded, but this had been the longest stretch. Elsa feared what it could me, but every night she went to be without hearing from William's father gave her enough hope to start the next day.

"I know that Anna. I'm not working hard because of that, I am working hard because it is my duty to Arendelle to be the best Queen that I can be. The other nations may have finally accepted that I would not be marrying any of their proposed suitors, but that does not mean they are making things easier for me, if anything most are making negotiations harder. I'll be 30 in December; everyone assumes if I am not married or engaged by then, that I will be a spinster queen for life, that is not appreciated among other nations, they think that I think I am superior to them and their chosen suitors."

Anna had a sad look on her face, "Then why not tell them of William."

"Because…." Elsa started as her eyes fell first to the picture of William in his uniform that he'd sent her with his last letter then to the letter she'd just opened, her eyes grew wide, hand going to her mouth.

"Elsa?" Anna moved quickly around the desk to her sister, placing her hands on the slightly shaking shoulders, Elsa barely registered her sister as she read the letter before her.

Your Majesty Queen Elsa of Arendelle;

My name is Lucas Sheon, Lieutenant Colonel in the 2nd Regiment,

1st Calvary of the United Republic of Passic. I've had the honor

to serve with one, William Jefferson, since the beginning of the

war, I've watch him move up the ranks from a Private to a Second

Lieutenant, with honor and impeccable service. He has fought

bravely in battle and has saved many men, myself included, with

his selflessness. It was during a battle over a year ago when I was

wounded and William risked his life to save mine and several other

soldiers, that he entrusted me with the secret of your correspondence

with him. It was at this time that he asked me, should anything happen

to him, that I write to you myself.

I regret to inform you that William has been severely injured in our

latest campaign, as I write to you now, we do not know if he

will survive his injuries. I write hoping that the next time I write

to you that it is with good news.

Please know that William sustained his injuries as he single

handedly saved the lives of 10 men. I am unable to go into details

of the events that transpired, but be rest assured, if it weren't for

William's quick thinking and his perseverance, not only would those

10 young men have lost their lives, but many others, as I am sure that

his action helped to turn the tide of the battle in our favor.

Your Grace, I truly hoped that my first correspondence was on better

terms, the way William speaks of you, I can only wish more of our

leaders were as thoughtful and devoted as you.

Sincerely

Lieutenant Colonel Lucas Schoen

Anna looked at Elsa trying to read her; "Els?" Elsa stood up letting the letter drop and stepped away from her sister.

Anna tried to step towards her again; "Elsa?"

Elsa shook her head, ther arms going around her midsection, tears pooling in the corners of devastated eyes, "Please no, I just…" She shook her head again, " I need to be alone right now, please Anna."

Anna smiled sadly, "Alright, but I'll check on you in a while."

Elsa said nothing as she moved out to the balcony in her office. The lanterns glowed softly along the streets of Arendelle, there was light mist coming off the harbor, Elsa sighed. How could she feel so devastated at the news of William, it still puzzled her how she could feel so deeply for someone she barely knew, yet was that even true anymore, four years of correspondence, even if inconsistent, was a long time to share intimate thoughts and details with someone. Elsa felt tears roll down her cheeks and for once she didn't try to stop them, she let herself feel; feel the fear over William's injuries, the worry over whether he would survive his injuries, and the loss, the utter loss of what might have been if he never returned to her. Maybe she would be a spinster Queen for life.

The Grand Ballroom was decorated in the classic Arendelle Yuletide manner. In addition to beautiful evergreens, red ribbons, and white candles, there were banners with the Queen's profile around the sides. The ballroom was filled with laughter and music as the guests floated around the dance floor or indulged in drinks and sweets at the various buffet tables spread out around the perimeter of the ballroom. Today was a day to celebrate in all of Arendelle, for it twas the Queen's 30th birthday. While the Queen didn't often humor her sister with large celebrations for her birthday, even Elsa could not deny that this was a milestone birthday, so a grand ball for the citizens of Arendelle and visiting foriegn delegations was held.

While the whole of the party was merry and jolly; the guest of honor was finding it difficult to celebrate; the morning after receiving the Lieutenant Colonel's letter, Elsa had visited the Jefferson's to find Mr. Jefferson pale and Mrs. Jefferson in tears, they'd received a similar letter from the Lieutenant Colonel. It had been a long three and half months since that day. She'd just spoken with Ambassador and Mrs. Jefferson; they'd yet to hear any word on William's condition one way or another, though they had shared that William's younger sister had just had her first child whom she'd named William.

Elsa glanced back out to the dance floor, where Anna and Kristoff were swirling around jovially, Anna would be taking advantage of this night, she'd just informed Elsa that the couple was expecting baby number three, come early summer next year Elsa would be an Aunt three times over. Smiling gently at her sister, Elsa then moved to the balcony off to the right of the ballroom. It was the same balcony that William had first spoken to her, she could still remember that day as if it was yesterday, his nervous smile, his kind gentle words, his calming presence. She desired to be within it once more.

Elsa heard someone approach, though the steps sounded odd to her, then she heard a voice, a voice she was starting to believe she'd never hear again. "I'm sorry for disturbing her Majesty, I was hoping to enjoy the coolness of the evening." Elsa took a deep breath holding it as she turned around to see if it was true, that her ears, her memory had not deceived her; but there he stood before her. He was the same yet different; he was still an imposing 6ft 3in with lythe frame, his hair jet black with light brown highlights providing texture to his silkiness, his cooper skin, his dark brown eyes with flecks of gold in the center, but those same eyes were more weary then before, some of the joy and youthfulness slipped away. He seemed to be leaning to the right slightly, no quiet as straight and tall as before, but she could still feel the calmness radiating off of him.

"William?" she gasped, she stepped towards him but then hesitated.

"Elsa," he breathed out and moved swiftly towards her and suddenly she was in his arms, they'd never hugged before, but being in his arms, feeling his strong arms wrapped around her it was like coming home. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew they couldn't be doing this, that it was highly inappropriate, but she didn't care, William was back.

Eventually she pulled back from him, finally realizing he was in his uniform, the epaulettes, collar and sleeve insignia of a First Lieutenant rather than a Second Lieutenant. There were multiple medals hanging on the left side of his chest. She looked up at him, his smile bright and big. "Your Majesty," he smirked before bowing to her.

"Mr. Jefferson," she reciprocated with a slight nood of her head, and then began to laugh.

"I can't believe you're here, I thought…" her laugh started to turn to tears, William stepped up again pulling her to him, she rested her head against his chest this time, hearing his heartbeat strong beneath her ear."

"Shh, I'm fine. I'm here. I promise we'll talk but now is not the best time."

Elsa took a moment to compose herself, before stepping back and putting on her regal face once again in case someone should come looking for her. "Are you always one for a grand entrance."

William moved to look out on to Arendelle as he had once before with her. "I only just got in on the last boat; I had time to go to my parent's home, get refreshed and dress and come here. I am lucky that Kia remembered me and allowed me in without an invitation." Elsa was never more thankful for Kia's omniscient knowledge.

"Have you seen your parents?" She asked.

"No,I saw you slip out as I entered, I came straight here, I had to see you." They stared at each other for another moment, there was some much to say yet neither knew how to start.

"Your Majesty," it was Kia, "some of the guests are wondering where you are." He didn't seem like he wanted to be interrupting them but that it was a necessity.

"Shall we?" William offered his arm, Elsa slid her arm on his and allowed him to escort her back to the ballroom. Elsa knew that all eyes would be on them immediately but it still didn't help the anxiety she felt rising, "Perhaps we should go see your parents." She suggested quietly. William nodded and veered towards his family on the other side of the ball room.

Mrs. Jefferson could barely hold in her tears as they neared, Elsa pulled her arm from William's and stopped a few steps from the couple, allowing him privacy to reconnect with his parents afters so long. A smile crept to her lips as William unabashedly pulled his Mother, whom he was a good foot taller than, into a hug before turning and shaking the more reserved Amassador's hand. Elsa felt a light touch on her elbow and turned to see Anna and Kristoff had joined her, Anna appearing to be close to tears herself. "How are you?" she asked.

"Overwhelmed," Elsa admitted, "he surprised me on the balcony, we've barely been able to say anything to one another." She glanced back at William who was again holding his mother, though the woman had composed herself, as he shook hands with other members of his countries delegation. "I'm just so happy he is safe. We should join them, it would look odd for me to be escorted here by him and not actually speak with his family."

"Your Majesty, Your Highnesses." Ambassador greeted lighter and happier than Elsa had seen him in months.

"Ambassador, I am overjoyed for you that your son has returned," she said professionally, no one but Anna and William's parents know how close he had become to Elsa, so she needed to keep things polite and distant.

"It is a wonderful surprise. I know my wife and I will sleep well for the first time in years tonight." Elsa couldn't imagine how they had felt, with their son in the war for so many years. It is unfathomable to even think of losing a child before yourself, yet war makes it a very realty possibility in the families of soldiers.

Elsa, Anna, and Kristoff engaged in some more civility with the Passic dignitaries before having to move to speak and entertain other guest, though Elsa's eye was never off William for too long, fear that he may disappear for her life again gnawing at the edge of her thoughts. Tomorrow she would speak with him, tonight she would sleep easily once again.

He found her in one of the more secluded areas of the garden, despite it being nearly Christmas, the evergreens kept prying eyes from the couple. He paused a moment to drink her in, she'd only become more beautiful in the five years since they first met. She was more confident yet serene. It appeared to William that she may finally be comfortable with who she was and what she wanted from her life. He just hoped he was still part of that life.

"Will you be joining me soon or should I keep pretending you aren't there" came her velvet voice. He laughed and moved towards her, the light now crunching under his feet. He wondered if it was natural or a result of any emotions she may have been having before he arrived.

"I was taken a moment to once again take in your breath-taking beauty my queen; " he quipped a twinkle in his eyes.

She slid over on the bench and patted next to her, he slid down next to her, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her close. They sat once again in silence, taking in their new reality where they were together in the same place.

"Lieutenant Colonel Shoen said you were injured badly." Elsa finally breached the topic that had been on her mind since last night when he showed up at her birthday ball.

William was quiet as his mind wondered back to places it never wanted to go to again. He could still hear the gun fire, the cannons exploding, the screams of men as their lives were drastically changed forever. He could feel the explosion so close, the agonizing pain in his left leg, the sight of it torn to pieces. Her touch on his arm brought him back to her. She gazed at him, her sapphire yes filled with worry. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

Instead of saying anything he lifted his pant leg, revealing a wooden prosthesis up to his knee. There wasn't really anything to say, he felt embarrassed, ashamed at his new disability, he turned his face from her, he didn't want to see the rejection in her eyes. They'd just been reunited, he wanted to court her properly, he, though he knew it was too early, wanted to marry her, but he felt like half a man now, and if she rejected him, it would kill him.

A soft gentle hand came and rested on his cheek, it was so cool, yet still comforting, it pulled his face back towards her. She looked at him and he saw no rejection,revulsion, only kindness, understanding, and compassion. " This doesn't change how I see you, it doesn't change how I feel about you." She gave him a loving smile.

"How do you feel about me?"

She leaned back resting her hands on the back of the bench; "I've never felt for anyone the way I feel for you. I don't know what it is or what it means; I've spent most of my life shutting out my emotions, not letting myself feel, I feel inexperienced." she admitted when she looked at him she was suddenly so small, so vulnerable, so lost. She took a deep breath, "What I don know is that I've never been good at expressing myself, even with Anna, yet with you it is so easy, and I want to know what that means, I want to learn about you, see what this is."

He felt his chest warm, he pulled her into his embrace, laid his head on top of hers; "I want that too, I've never felt this way before either. When I was at war, it was only the thought of you that made me keep going, not give up. When I was in that hospital, fighting for my life, I thought of you and how I didn't want to leave you, when I was learning how to walk again with my prosthetic leg, all I wanted was to walk over to you. I feel the same, I want to know what it is that is between us."

"It'll be hard," she admitted, she didn't want to she wanted to stay in this bliss, in his arms forever, but he deserved to know the truth, "our laws, they don't prohibit a Queen from courting or marrying a commoner or a foriegn one, but there is no precedent for allowing it either. I maybe Queen but I can decide who is a suitor or whom I may marry by myself, the council must agree, and that will be difficult. Royalty is meant to marry Royalty, it was hard enough getting permission for Anna to marry Kristoff, and if we hadn't been so young, if they hadn't assumed I would find a suitable husband, I doubt they would have ever approved. I am tired though, I am tired of living in fear of what may or may not be seen as appropriate, I am tired of being alone. I will fight for us, if you want this."

He placed his fingers under her chin; "More than anything." He moved closer to her, pausing to allow her to stop him, and when she didn't he kissed her gently, feeling her cool supple lips on his. His who body shivered as they connected. It felt perfect, right, like he was coming home.

When they parted he could see her eyes shining in joy. He pulled her back into his embrace and they remained there, enjoying one another's company until Kai came to fetch her, reminding her of one of her many meetings that afternoon. As the parted she promised to speak with the council soon, and to send for him when the time came to make courtship official.

He hadn't been what was expected, traditional, or appropriate, but he had been what was needed. Elsa's fight to officially court William hadn't been nearly as hard as she had expected, apparently having an unwed 30 year old Queen was more of a scandal to the council than a foriegn born commoner prince consort. It helped that he was a highly decorated war hero and a lawyer to boot. The courtship was announced the first week of the new year. William, though now permanently residing in Arendelle hadn't forgotten his home land, he'd been asked discreetly by the President to help draft a constitutional amendment to allow rights, including voting rights, to all Passaic citizens, regardless of race. William tried pushing woman's right to vote but was told it would be hard enough for the amendment to pass as it was. So when not with Elsa, he worked on the law, wanting to finish before things became too serious with Elsa and word made it to Passaic, he didn't want to given the President's political enemies any reason to block the law, especially the illusion of foriegn influence.

Anna gave birth to a little baby girl in June of that year, Ingrid was the apple of her mother's and aunt's eyes, a perfect mixture of her parents with strawberry blonde hair and hazel eyes. She was a calmer baby then her brothers had been, which everyone including the castle staff thanked God for every day.

In July of that year the engagement of Elsa and William was announced and they wed in November six years to the day they met. Elsa was stunning in a pure white silk gown with an intricate lace cathedral length train. William wore his Passaic Army uniform for the last time. Lieutenant Colonel Shoen was his best man while Anna was Elsa's matron of honor. Later that evening he'd be made Duke of the North Mountain, and crowned as Prince Consort to the Queen.

At the age of 33, after a difficult pregnancy and labor, Elsa gave birth to a little baby boy, Aaron William Agnar, Crown Prince of Arendelle. The boy took after his father in many ways with light copper skin and dark brown eyes, yet his hair was a caramel blonde. Two years later Aaron would become a big brother to a little sister. Idunna Anna Calla, Princess of Arendelle was born three weeks early, and was a very small baby. She was the spitting image of her mother with platinum blonde hair and sapphire eyes, though her skin tone was more creamy olive. Elsa had struggled again during the pregnancy and labor, and it was decided the Queen would have no more children.

It was not uncommon to see the royal family out in town on Saturday afternoons, and anyone who saw the Queen remarked that she'd never been so happy until the Prince Consort entered her life.