My Reason for Living


Kagome sat at the edge of the well, staring into its depths, she wanted to jump, but something was holding her back, something...important, though she didn't' know what it was, it was on the tip of her tongue.

She felt something deep within her pulse. Something inside her was longing for something else, but she wasn't sure what it could be, it was distressing, knowing that she couldn't place an actual reason to why she would go wobbly at the knees for no apparent reason; mostly it was when Inuyasha was near her.

She'd loved Inuyasha for a long time, but she'd never felt like this before, like without him near her she would cry but she couldn't stand to be near him without her heart clenching to the point it was painful to breath. Was this what love was like? A feeling of helplessness for something so deep you couldn't understand?

Kagome felt herself begin to cry. It was happening again, every time she thought of Inuyasha she would shed tears like nothing else mattered in the world. And in a way, it didn't. If he asked, Kagome would give up everything just to see Inuyasha happy. She'd give up her family, her friends, her powers, anything, just to be loved by him, to see him smile at her, and only her.

'Damn, I'm head over heals.'

She hated that feeling; know that the one who holds her heart doesn't even give her the time of day, not that he would know anyway, treating her like dirt. In a way she felt dirty. She would always envision him when she was home in her time. Envision him inside her.

She brushed away the tears that were collecting in her oceanic orbs. She couldn't face him, but she couldn't leave him, she felt as if she were being pulled apart into two pieces, and only he could mend her. But if that were so, she'd remain two for many, many years, because...Inuyasha didn't want her…like that, only for the shards.

Even if it were reality, she couldn't delete her dreams, dreams of him holding her against his naked chest, mumbling sweet nothings into her ears, saying how much he needed her, wanted her, couldn't live without her, loved her, even.

More tears fell, just when she thought that she was through with tears, they came overflowing from her orbs, like it was all part of an endless waterfall.

She fell to her knees at the base of the well. Sniffling she stood, she stood up straight and arched her back, "There is no way I'm going to let him control me like that!"

She stood again, only to feel her legs go wobbly as she reluctantly fell to her knees again, staring at the clouds that drifted into the sky, she sighed heavily, this was such a beautiful place as long as youkai didn't attack, or they weren't searching for the shikon shards.

Speaking of shards, Kagome could sense two shards coming directly towards her. She groaned, Great...him.'

As if on cue, Kouga appeared in his blue whirlwind and stood, looking at the sobbing collapsed Kagome at the base of the well.

"Ah, my woman, why do you shed tears?" he asked as he walked soothingly towards Kagome. He took a deep inhale and cast his eyes around before grinning wolfishly and walking towards her. She tensed as he approached, she didn't want to talk to him right now, she wanted Inuyasha, "No doubt it was dog turd right?"

Kagome glared, "don't call him that, Kouga." That had been the first time, she realized, that she'd ever defended Inuyasha from Kouga's insults. Kouga looked pained, Kagome hadn't added the '-kun' which she usually did, "He isn't a dog turd, he can be a jerk, but his hearts in the right place."

"Oh no! Kagome, he's brainwashed you hasn't he? Kami, how could I let that happen to you, come Kagome-Chan we will go back to my pack and make you forget dog turd," he grabbed her wrist aggressively, and Kagome could see the lust in his eyes. Suddenly, it came to Kagome why Kouga had sniffed around. He was making sure Inuyasha was nowhere near by and that he wasn't coming any time soon. She'd never seen Kouga like this, his usually beautiful dark eyes dulled to a lustful murky blue.

Kagome paled, 'Kouga isn't thinking of taking me, is he?'

"Kouga. Kouga let go of me! Now!" she slapped Kouga with her free hand, barely raising concern in the youkai's stunning blue eyes.

"Kagome, I will revive you from dog turd's evil!" He would, she realized. He wasn't releasing her, he wasn't listening to her. The usual charming and calm youkai had lost his sense in his lust.

"Leave me alone, Kouga, please," she whispered. He clamped a hand over her mouth and started to drag her away.

"Kagome this will hurt me a lot more than it will hurt you," Kouga raised an arm and knocked the back of Kagome's neck, causing her to start to drift off into unconsciousness.

The last thing she saw was a blur of red before it went black.
Kagome sat straight up and was about to scream at Kouga before she realized that she was in her bed. Her actual bed from her time, in her home, in her...she looked around, who had brought her here? How did she get here? How did she escape Kouga? Had it all been a dream?

Her eyes rested on Inuyasha, who sat at the foot of the bed, his hands of his sword protectively, he looked at Kagome with a calm look, and actually smiled when he saw she was awake, "Hey, glad to see you finally awoke," he said softly. "How you feeling?"

Kagome blinked in confusion and looked around, "What happened?"

Inuyasha shrugged, "I came to the well to get you to come home, but Kouga was knocking you out, I attacked him." He blushed slightly. "I hope you don't mind...I know how you don't like me fighting with him, he is your friend after all," he cringed at the thought of Kouga being Kagome's friend now.

"Inuyasha..." she said softly, if it weren't for him, Kouga could be persuading her to have sex with him, or worse, raping her now, "Why'd you bring me back here?"

Inuyasha looked out the window, he was silent for a moment before looking at Kagome again, "I knew you'd be safe here, Kouga nor any other youkai can't follow you, except me, Kagome."

Kagome flung herself into Inuyasha's arms, she hugged him tightly, moving her hands behind his back, clasping her delicate hands together, and making a death grip.

She began to sob.

Inuyasha panicked, "Hey, Kagome why are you crying? I hate it when you cry, please stop!"

Kagome shook her head against Inuyasha's shoulder, "I'm just so relieved, if you hadn't come, he could have...he would have...I mean...." She began to sob again.

Inuyasha patted her head with one hand and rubbed the small of her back, "Shh, I know Kagome, I know, I'm here now, I'll never leave you, I'll protect you."

Kagome looked up at his golden eyes and smiled, tears still ran down her cheeks and she felt that yearning inside her again, why wouldn't it just leave her be?

Inuyasha lifted his hand from the small of her back and rubbed the tears away from her eyes, he kept calming her by rubbing her back, even after hiccups replaced her sobs.

"Inuyasha..." she murmured quietly against his shoulder, she felt so relaxed with him near her, holding her, he smiled and patted her head silently, understanding her plea.

"I'll stay."

"Where's my mom?" Kagome asked suddenly.

Inuyasha blinked and then smiled a warmly tender smile she'd rarely ever seen, he sighed and shook his head as if he didn't believe what she was asking.

Kagome looked at him, expecting an answer.

Finally he said, after collecting what her mother had told him, "she went...to a friend's? She told me to tell you when you woke up to call her."

Kagome perked up and left the bed, "Thank you, Inu."

Inuyasha blushed at the sudden new name as she left the room, her shining and beautiful hair billowing out behind her.

He blinked and smiled slightly, "You're welcome Kagome-Chan," he whispered, knowing perfectly well that she couldn't hear her.
Kagome rushed down the staircase, wanting to stay with Inuyasha yet having to ask her mother something very important.

She practically threw herself into the living room searching for the cordless phone so she could go to a place in the house she was sure that Inuyasha wouldn't overhear.

The phone rang three times before her mother's cell phone picked up and her mother's cheerful voice overcame Kagome's senses, "Hello?"

"Mom, I have something very important to ask you?"

"Kagome, oh I'm so glad you're awake, Inuyasha seemed so worried, and he convinced me to go to my friend's, I was afraid to leave, but he's such a nice boy."

"Mom?"

"Yes Kagome?"

"I think I love Inuyasha," she whispered, not surprised if her mother didn't hear.

"Really, wonderful, when's the wedding?"

"Mother!"

"Really Kagome, it's rather obvious that you love him and he loves you."

"Mom, he loves someone else, at least I think he does, but how do I tell him without really telling him?"

Her mother was silent for awhile before her lovely voice, resembling twinkling bells rang out, "Kagome, follow your heart, this is something I can't help you with."

"Mom..."

"I have to go Kagome, I'll see you on Monday maybe?"

"What Monday, but today's Friday!"

"I know, it's a weekend trip, I wasn't expecting for you to be home, so Grandpa, Souta and I are staying for the weekend, bye Kagome dear, remember follow your heart."

The clicking of the cell phone told Kagome that her mother was gone.

Kagome sighed; she was really hoping her mother would be able to help her, but obviously not.

She walked towards the living room to put the phone back in its cradle and found Inuyasha staring at the TV.

He looked so innocent, so carefree; his expression was one of wonder and curiosity as he stared at the thing in front of him. He reached a finger out and touched the picture frame atop the TV. Kagome then realized that he was looking at a picture of her, not at the TV.

Kagome walked up beside him and smiled at him, he grunted but continued to look at the picture of Kagome smiling from last year's festival, she was wearing a traditional Kimono, blue and white, bringing out her eyes beautifully.

"Inuyasha?" Kagome asked after a moment Inuyasha jumped as if he didn't see her, he looked at her, blushing and embarrassed about being caught staring at her indirectly.

"Yes?" he asked softly.

Kagome beamed and grabbed his hand dragging him over to the couch, "Want to watch a movie?"

Inuyasha blinked but nodded.

Kagome smiled and trotted over to the TV, she pushed the DVD for Princess Mononoke and smiled in satisfaction as the opening music played.

Inuyasha stared in amazement as the scene played out, showing the story roll amid the living room.

Kagome giggled at his perplexed look.
Hours later, Kagome and Inuyasha still sat on the couch looking off into the darkness. Inuyasha's mind was screaming at him to do something, Kagome was there, she was there, alone. He shook his head quickly, shooing away such thoughts. How could he think of fucking Kagome at a time like this, after almost being raped by Kouga?

But he couldn't get rid of the thought of fucking Kagome, it excited him, to have her sweaty body rubbing against his when he…

'No'! he shouldn't be thinking about this, not to Kagome, but, he wanted too, he couldn't deny his love for her.

Love?

Was this was love felt like, going wobbly in the knees and wondering what the other is thinking about? Yeah, that must be love, and he wanted it, he wanted....no he needed Kagome.

He glanced at her and watched her stretch, her shirt exposing her belly, beautiful and tan. She stretched her arms above her head, her arms were long and slim, and with them above her head, he could see her fine rounded breasts. They weren't too small or too big so that they'd sag with old age. Round and bouncy, he liked that.

'Damn it, I'm still thinking about that, baka no hentai!' he thought to himself as Kagome noticed his stares and smiled.

'Wow, he's so handsome,' she thought to herself as she looked deep into Inuyasha's golden eyes. She just wanted to fling herself onto his lips and take him right then, but something was holding her back.

What if he didn't except her?

'Damn it I hate it when she looks at me like that,' Inuyasha thought to himself, that look made him want to just rip her clothes off. Since when did he become so sex hungry? It disgusted him. But he truly wanted to mate with Kagome, and make her his.