One day John Phoenix woke up and he was in heaven.

"Hmm? How odd, I didn't notice dying, there was no pain so I must have passed away peacefully in my sleep"

Then he realized his head was cut off. John Phoenix simply whistled and his pet falcon flew all the way to Khurain mountain and got a magical root (like in the "Twin Brothers" Grimm fairy tale) and then John Phoenix tied the root around his neck and put his head back on.

"Good work, John Phoenix Jr.," said John Phoenix, and he petted his falcon. Then he lifted his angel robe and found some stab wounds! Obviously this was the work of Shelly de Killer, because the knife wounds were consistent with the wounds he saw on his guilty clients after Shelly assassinated them.

John Phoenix was pissed off at dying, so he went to the gun store and bought a sniper rifle. He moved the clouds out of the way and started blowing Shelly de Killer's limbs off one by one.

"Heh heh," smirked John Phoenix. "This is what you get for betraying me."

Suddenly Shelly de Killer materialized in heaven. John Phoenix demanded to know who had ordered the hit.

"Phoenix Wright, he's sick of you always abusing him" said de Killer.

John Phoenix got very angry so he blew de Killer's head off again, this time de Killer respawned even higher above heaven in SPACE and he blew up from lack of oxygen.

Then John Phoenix went to the pearly gates and shot the lock off, and he jumped back to Earth. He ripped his angel wings off to become human again and went to his uncle's house to murder him.

"Y-you!" cried Uncle Phoenix. "But I killed you!'

"Let's just say I rose from the ashes. Like a phoenix." Then he pressed the barrel against his uncle's heart and fired! Blood splattered everywhere! Trucy was upset.

"Don't worry, stupid cousin, this isn't actually Phoenix Wright." He pulled of the dead man's Phoenix Wright mask and it was actually Phoenix's evil identical cousin Evil Phoenix all along!

"Obviously the real Uncle Wright would never hire an assassin to kill his beloved nephew," he explained.

Suddenly there was pounding from beneath the floorboards! John Phoenix removed them and Uncle Phoenix came out!

"Thanks John Phoenix, Evil Phoenix trapped me in those secret underground caverns you made that connect to every house in Los Angeles. You know, the ones you made to spy on people!"

Then John Phoenix punished his uncle for getting kidnapped by locking him underground for another week.

THE END!