So, this was originally part of the Aussie fires compilation. Thanks to the organizers and everyone who donated.

Author: MrsSpaceCowboy

Beta: MariahajilE

Banner Maker: Lizzie Paige

Fandom: Twilight

Title: Fly Me Home

Summary: Bella Swan doesn't believe in regret, but if she did…

Genre: Romance

Rating: M

Pairing: Bella/Edward

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Everyone knows airports are hell the week leading up to Christmas. Lines stretch at every service counter and security checkpoint. Children cry. Parents, too, sometimes. And soft jazzy renditions of holiday tunes pipe through the building from hidden speakers to occasionally be interrupted by generic announcements or targeted paging.

Bella Swan pauses to wait for the automatic doors to slide open and turns to wave goodbye to her mother and stepfather. Renee blows her a kiss from the rolled down window of Phil's Tahoe, and Bella plants one on her own fingers before the traffic officer waves them into traffic. Bella steps into the chaos of Orlando International Airport and bypasses the hustle and bustle for the Known Crewmember checkpoint on the west side of Terminal A.

This is her last flight of the year. Tonight, she'll sleep in her own bed with Jake wrapped around her head and purring. God, she's missed that fat fucker. Her neighbor, Ms. Cope, has been checking in on him for Bella and making sure he's got fresh food and water every day. She reads her morning paper at Bella's kitchen table and lets Jake coil around her legs as she sips her coffee and catches up on the news.

This time tomorrow, Bella and her chunky love will be saying goodbye to Ms. Cope until after the holidays. Then they'll be on their way to Forks and Charlie, who happens to be both Bella's father and Jake's least favorite person in the world.

Merry Christmas, indeed.

Getting ahead of herself is Bella's thing. She slows down a few feet away from the TSA checkpoint and fishes blindly in her purse as she approaches a scruffy agent. His scowl eases into a smile when he spots her coming.

"Heading home?" he asks.

Bella holds out a mini-candy cane wrapped in clear plastic and drops it onto his upturned palm. "Long enough to close my eyes for a few hours and pick up Jake," she says, pressing the pad of her thumb against the print reader. A green light flashes, and she grins. "Then we're off to Forks to spend Christmas with my dad. I won't see you again until after the first of the year."

He waves her through to get her bag from the x-ray belt. "Well, you have a good one, then."

She waves and steps through the metal detector. "You, too."

A harried CSA is pacing behind the small desk at gate 112. He stops long enough to shove a stack of paperwork into her hand. "Be right back," he says.

Bella takes it from him and glances out the window at the 737 parked at the gate. She sighs and makes her way to the jet bridge door, punches in a code, and pulls the door open when it unlocks. The wheels of her rolling suitcase are muted by the terrible carpet lining the bridge. She packs her bag away in the crew rest area at the front of the cabin.

Once she's settled in, she checks her supplies to make sure Cabin Service has them stocked up and ready to go. The other crew members trickle in one at a time, and her friend Alice stops long enough to say hi before heading past the premium section and back to economy.

"It's done," a harsh voice barks behind Bella. "Of course. I'm boarding my flight to Seattle now." A moment later, something hard knocks into Bella's calf. She winces and turns. "Excu…"

A pair of startled green eyes meets her widened gaze. Her mouth goes dry at the familiar golden flecks near the pupils. Then her heart tries to pound its way out of her chest. She forces a blank smile and shrugs off the injury. She can't look at him another minute.

Instead, she examines the flight manifest to confirm that Edward Cullen's cologne is real and not a figment of her imagination. Neither is the rest of him, unfortunately.

"Excuse me. I'm… sorry," he finally says from behind her.

She nods without facing him, hoping against hope he doesn't recognize her. After all, twelve years is a long time.

"Hey, man. Are you gonna go or what?" another voice belts near the door.

Edward leaves, taking his subtle forest tones with him, and Bella exhales. She leans forward to grip the counter in front of her. The few memories she has of Edward do not do him justice. She's seen uglier underwear models.

She turns to watch the other passengers as they board and leans forward to glance at the first class cabin. Edward is leaned forward in an aisle seat three rows back, his eyes narrowed in her direction and hand gripping the armrest.

She knows she should ask if he'd like a drink or if he needs anything. He's a first class passenger and a frequent flyer, so she waits for a break in the line and steps out of her safe haven and into the first class cabin.

A woman in the first row looks up and opens her mouth, but Bella keeps going. She stares at Alice's short black hair in the distance as she walks by Edward's seat and only spares a quick glance back to study the haphazard bronze curls on top of his head and the perfect cut of his charcoal gray suit.

Alice is too busy rearranging carry-ons in an overhead bin to see Bella coming.

"Hey," Bella whispers on approach, reaching up to help. "I just ran into the guy I lost my virginity to. How's your day going?"

Alice stops moving, except for her mouth which drops open. "Where?"

"In first class." Bella shakes her head and laughs under her breath. "3C."

Alice cranes her neck to look around her friend, but the only thing visible from here is a long arm covered in an expensive suit and a flashy watch. "What are you going to do?" she asks.

"I'm going to beg you to take first and let me handle the back." Bella gives Alice her most hopeful expression and a fake smile that shows her teeth. "Please."

Alice nods without pause, because taking care of 16 passengers is a hell of a lot easier than dealing with 138 in the back for the next 6.5 hours. "Okay," she says. "But we're having a drink when we go back to your place tonight. I want details about 3C."

"Okay." Bella nods, because talking to her friend about him is going to be a million times easier than serving Edward Cullen anything.

Alice walks away, and Bella throws herself into pre-check and helping passengers find their seats. The rows fill slowly, and Bella can't shake the sensation she's being watched. The hair on her neck stands on end, but she keeps moving.

"Good morning, folks," Alice's chipper voice rings out in the cabin. "The captain has turned on the 'Fasten Seal Belt' sign. If you haven't already done so, please stow your carry-on luggage underneath the seat in front of you or in an overhead bin. Please take your seat and fasten your seatbelt. Make sure all seat backs and folding trays are in their full, upright positions."

Bella spaces out for the rest of the customary greeting announcement she should be making in Alice's place.

Edward Cullen.

She hasn't thought about him in years, which is crazy since there was a time she missed him so much she thought it might actually kill her. She laughs to herself and holds up a seatbelt in the air to demonstrate the proper way to buckle and unbuckle it. She shakes her head and points to the emergency exits on either side of her.

And now she's hiding. In coach. And holding an oxygen mask to her face to show a bunch of people whose faces are buried in their phones how not to die in case of an emergency. A couple of worried folks glance up when she puts a flattened life vest over her head and mimics pulling the cord to inflate it.

She owes Alice more than one drink, since Bella's doing this in front of dozens of strangers instead of the guy she wasted her first time on.

Finally, the captain's voice temporarily puts her out of her misery. "Flight attendants, prepare for takeoff, please."

Bella moves to her seat and buckles in. There's still the buffer of the premium economy section between her and first class, which is some relief, but she's out of her element. She doesn't believe in regret, but if she did… If she did, Edward Cullen would be her #1.

She sighs and plucks a Santa hat from her shoulder bag and pulls it onto her head. Then she pops a stick of gum to help her eardrums with takeoff and closes her eyes. A smaller Edward Cullen dances behind her lids, spinning her around in a field of wildflowers and soft grass.

Her lips turn up at the corners. Maybe it wasn't a complete waste.

Alice's voice brings her crashing back to reality. "Ladies and gentlemen, the captain has turned off the 'Fasten Seat Belt' sign."

And Bella knows it's time to get to work, so she leaves those memories in the meadow and in the past—where they belong. Tyler and Bella work together to serve refreshments, and midway through the flight, a man gets up with a cranky toddler and paces back and forth to try to calm her. Bella holds a mini-candy cane in the air behind the child's head in a silent offer. The father nods gratefully and turns the little girl in his arms to take the candy herself.

She looks up and points at Bella's hat. "Elf!" The tears disappear, and they're able to return to their seats without any additional fuss.

It's the slowest six hours of Bella's entire life. Being trapped in a flying box with the person responsible for your first broken heart is funny like that. She tries not to crane her neck to catch glimpses of his elbow or hair, but she does it anyway.

Bella breathes a sigh of relief when the end-of-flight announcements begin. She and Tyler collect trash, check seat backs and tray tables, and eventually end up back in their own seats, buckling up for landing. It's bumpy, but Bella's seen worse. She yawns a couple of times to help ease the pressure in her skull.

And she slips another tiny candy cane to her new toddler friend when her family passes by and the little girl waves goodbye. Bella waves and heads to the very back of the plane to make sure the lav is empty and in reasonable condition. She checks overheads and under seats and gets so caught up delaying her departure from the plane that she doesn't hear the heavy footsteps approaching from behind.

But there's no escaping that perfect cologne.

Bella freezes and swallows. She closes her eyes for strength and turns on her heel with a carefully blank face.

Edward looms over her, still and calculating, as his gaze sweeps over her legs to the end of her skirt and then up. And up. He pauses to study the buttons of her shirt and lapel of her jacket before continuing up to her face.

"How long are you going to act like you don't recognize me?" He stares down at her lips, and she can almost taste the scotch on his breath in the air between them.

She inhales, because it mixes well with that stupid earthy cologne, damn it.

"Isn't it a little early for Dewar's, Mr. Cullen?" she says.

He frowns and drops his gaze to the floor. "Don't do that," he says.

"Do you need help with your carry-on?" Bella asks. "Need a mini-bottle for the road?" She smiles, bright and fake.

"I…" Edward shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair. He turns and practically runs back to first class.

Bella follows slowly and catches up to him the moment he frees his bag from the bin above his seat. Alice peeks around the corner from the galley.

Edward doesn't meet Bella's eyes again, but she doesn't let him off that easily. "Merry Christmas, Mr. Cullen," she says. "Thanks for flying Alaska Airlines."

Alice giggles loud enough to catch Edward's attention on his way by her. "Happy holidays," she says with a wave. Then she watches him deplane and disappear around the corner of the jet bridge. She turns to Bella with raised eyebrows. "You have a lot of explaining to do. I thought he was going to break his neck spying on you. That was the creepiest, hottest thing I've seen in a while. You must've really broken his heart."

Bella's body sags a little, relieved for the first time in hours. Then she laughs. It's loud and a bit hysterical, but she's earned it. "Hardly," Bella says. "You've got it backwards."

Alice's smile disappears. "I'm sorry."

"It was a long time ago," Bella says with a shrug. "The first one's always the hardest, right?"

"So they say." Alice nods.

Tyler and the rest of the crew join them, pulling their bags behind them. "We're good," he says. "Ready to go."

They say their goodbyes to the captain and first officer, and Alice leads the way up the carpeted gangway and opens the door to the lobby. The other flight attendants scatter off to catch flights to jumpseat back to their home cities. Bella and Alice take their time since their only plans for now are Thai takeout, Bella's apartment, and wine.

Bella's Outback beeps when she slides her fingers behind the door handle and the hatch, unlocking the doors. She and Alice load their bags in the cargo area and walk to the front of the car. Alice waits until the doors shut to make her demand. "Okay," she says. "Spill."

And Bella knows she has no other choice, because she already promised Alice could crash in her spare bedroom before deadheading home to Dallas tomorrow morning. There's no escape.

"He was just a boy," Bella says with a shrug, backing out of her parking spot and doing everything she can think of to avoid Alice's intense gaze. "His parents were going through a nasty divorce, so he spent a summer with his aunt and uncle in Forks."

"Ohhhh," Alice says. "Do you think that's where he's going now?"

Bella slams on the brakes to keep from hitting the car in front of her on the way out of the parking garage. "God, I fucking hope not," she says.

Alice shrugs. "Well, it is Christmas. Maybe his aunt and uncle still live there."

"They do. Charlie would've told me if they'd moved."

"Then, maybe…"

Bella shakes her head. "I'm not even going to entertain the thought. And so what if he does go to Forks? His family lives on the outskirts of town and runs with a different crowd. They rub elbows with other doctors and academics. Charlie eats pie with his fingers and goes fishing for fun. I doubt we'd even see each other."

"Where's he from?" Alice asks.

Bella shrugs and merges into traffic. "Back then, he lived in Chicago. Now? Who knows?"

"So he stole your heart and your virtue all in one summer?"

That small smile comes back before Bella can stop it, and a rosy blush stains her cheeks. "He did all that in the first couple of weeks," she says.

"How'd you meet?" Alice asks. "Don't make me pry this out of you. Did you get a good look at him? I mean, I love Jasper—he's my cowboy—but Mr. 3C is insanely hot, and you hit that."

"Honestly, it was more like a hit-and-run. At least wait until I can have wine, okay?" Bella laughs so Alice won't think she's being mean or evasive, even though the latter might be true.

Alice drops the subject and calls in a to-go order for pad Thai and satays. They fall back on the easy topic of Christmas gifts and run down what they've bought and for whom. Next comes a heated discussion about which Christmas song is the absolute best, and they end up agreeing to disagree.

Alice insists on buying dinner since it's saving her a night in a hotel room on her own dime. There's no crew rest when you've reached your home base. Commuting's a bitch. There's a spare room at Alice and Jasper's place in Dallas available to Bella anytime she overnights in their hometown.

It starts to rain as Bella slows to a stop in front of the restaurant. She reaches into the backseat and grabs an umbrella. Alice plucks it from her hand and rushes out of the car to the building. Bella finds a holiday playlist on Spotify and closes her eyes at the very first notes of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas."

Decembers have never really been lucky for her. This time last year, the ink had still been drying on her divorce papers. Two Christmases before that, her grandmother died. People have always had a way of leaving Bella in December.

But she still has Renee and Phil, Charlie and Sue, Jake, the steps, and too many wonderful friends to count.

Alice yanks Bella back from melancholy by pulling open the passenger door and throwing herself into the seat. "Let's go," she says. "It's fucking freezing."

It's a short drive to Bella's place in Belltown, but she cranks the heat up anyway to help warm Alice. She finds a parking space in the lot attached to her building, and the girls make a run for it after retrieving their luggage. They're soaked before they hit the entrance, and they both shiver in the cool, dry air inside.

A few people eye their uniforms and overall bedraggled appearance, sparing sympathetic glances, like it was holiday travelers and not a sudden rain shower that left them in this state. They giggle in the elevator on the way up to Bella's floor and bemoan how good the food smells from the bag wrapped in Alice's arm. The sound of voices on the other side of Bella's door gives them pause, but only for a moment.

Bella turns the knob, and her door swings inward. A mop of gray curls stirs on the sofa, and a black ball of fluff dive-bombs Bella's leg. The television clicks off, and the room goes silent.

An older woman stands and claps her hands together. "Welcome home, dear," she says. "I was keeping Jake company until you got here."

"Hey, Mrs. Cope,"

Bella greets her. "Thanks for taking care of my boy." She scoops the chunky kitty from the floor and rubs her face in his fur. Jake's whole body is limp but vibrating with the force of his content purr. "I'd hug you, but we got soaked on our way in."

Her neighbor nods and reaches for a shoulder bag. "I see."

"I have something for you," Bella says. She crosses the room and plucks a medium-sized wrapped box from the pile of gifts stacked next to the small ceramic tree on the table in the corner of the room.

"Oh, you didn't have to do that," Mrs. Cope says, stopping to take the gift from Bella's outstretched hand. Her wrinkled hand pets Jake's head behind his ear. "There are a couple of things I left for you and this handsome fella in that stack." She points to the tree, and Bella looks over her shoulder.

She turns back with a smile. "Merry Christmas, Shelly."

"Merry Christmas. When are you heading home?"

"We're leaving for Forks tomorrow morning. You?"

"My son will be here to pick me up the day before Christmas Eve, and I'll be with his family until January."

"Have the best time with those grandbabies," Bella says.

"I will. Safe travels, girls."

Her sweet neighbor closes the door to Bella's apartment behind her on her way out. Bella and Alice look at each other the moment they're alone and start to strip out of their wet clothing. Jake jumps on the couch to wait patiently for the humans to throw on robes and break out the food.

Bella grabs a bottle of wine and two glasses and joins her friend on the floor. They eat in silence for a few minutes.

"I met Edward at the top of a cliff on the LaPush reservation when I was sixteen," Bella finally says. "It was the third week of my summer break, and I'd spent almost every day driving out there to cliff dive. There was this other boy named Jared I was crazy about, so I made my best friend, Rosalie, go with me every time one of us could get a parent's car." The wine warms its way through her veins and returns the pink glow to her cheeks. "He was cut. His hair was black and kind of long, and he ran track and almost never wore a shirt in the summertime." She smiles. "He was always jumping off rocks and into the surf. So I followed…"

"Right off a cliff?" Alice asks.

"That's kind of my M.O." Bella nods, and her friend laughs and pours more wine into both of their glasses. "Then, one day, Edward shows up with our friend Mike Newton."

"And was Edward insanely hot then, too?" Alice asks.

Bella smiles, and her eyes fall out of focus for a split second. "No. He was kind of on the skinny side and all the way awkward because of his height. He walked right up to me and studied every inch of me from head to toe. He licked his lips, let his shoulder brush mine on his way past me, and then hurled himself off the cliff without pausing."

"Whoa."

"Yeah. He was intense. Good to know that hasn't changed."

"So you just… followed?"

"I don't think there was ever much hope for me," Bella says. "Edward was relentless."

A shadow crosses Alice's face. "And by relentless, you mean…"

"It was flattering." Bella can say that now with hindsight. "No boy had ever shown any interest in me, and there was this instant attraction. He was sweet, attentive. He'd show up at my house at 2:00 in the morning and ping my bedroom window with pebbles, knowing full well my father was sleeping on the other side of the window a few feet away from him."

"Oh," Alice says. "So not in a creepy way."

Bella sighs. "Not at all." She shakes her head. "I don't even know how many times I climbed out of my window and into the tree in my dad's front yard to sneak out with Edward."

"You little delinquent."

"Yeah, that's me," Bella deadpans. "Anyway, it was a breathless crazy summer." Bella lifts her glass and chugs her wine gracelessly. "Then he left for Chicago a week after his parents' divorce was final. He was there long enough to pack before heading to Dartmouth for his freshman year of college." Bella pauses to drain the glass in her hand in one long, slow sip. "He came back for Christmas that December, and…"

Her throat closes at the memory.

Her first broken heart. Days before Christmas.

Alice frowns. "I'm sorry."

Bella shakes herself out of the past and laughs. "I'm fine," she says. "It was just strange seeing him today."

"I bet."

Bella lifts the remote and turns on the TV to change the subject. She's had enough of Edward Cullen and doesn't want to think about his stupid chiseled jaw for one more second. There's nothing awkward about him now.

They stay up too late, drink too much wine, and watch two corny Christmas romances in a row. Eventually, their eyes start to close against their wills, and they have to call it a night.

Bella wakes early, before the sun and long before Alice stirs. She stays in bed, with Jake acting as a sleeping crescent crown around her head. Nights long forgotten returned in her dreams and stayed behind to haunt her waking moments.

Edward fucking Cullen.

Even when sex was new and awful for her, he'd done his best to make her feel good with his fingers and tongue beforehand. And sometimes after. He'd held her, fully clothed, under the stars and told her how much he hated his parents for not loving each other anymore. He'd said college scared him and so did the idea of doing nothing instead. He'd read God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater aloud to her while she stripped on First Beach and wrapped them both in a blanket before taking what she wanted in the moonlight.

"Ugh," she says. Jake shifts, and Bella forces herself out of bed. A hot shower gives her purpose and other things to think about.

There's a text waiting for her when she steps out of her steamy bathroom.

New Year's Eve in Sun Valley?

Alec has attached a picture taken from his back porch of snowy mountains in the distance. Bella smiles and taps out a reply.

Don't tempt me.

She tosses the phone on her bed, drops her towel on the ground, and steps into her closet. Her lips turn up at the ping indicating a new message, but she takes her time dressing and putting on her makeup.

Her cheeks heat when she finally checks his reply.

That's exactly what I'm trying to do. I'll come and get you.

Dating a pilot has its advantages. Alec owns his own plane and a few homes he got to keep after his divorce.

Bella touches her fingers to her lips and reads the offer again. She taps the picture to enlarge it and studies the snow. Rain pelts her bedroom window, and she sighs.

She taps out a reply and lets her thumb hover over the send button before she hits it.

Maybe.

There's a hot tub. And a snowmobile. And skiing. Her arm is half-twisted already, but there's no need for Alec to know that. He's a runner. And a rower.

And an unselfish lover, despite being a bit on the clingy side.

That's the only thing holding her back. A year on the market isn't nearly long enough after being off of it and married for four long years. She's not ready to settle down again, not that she ever really had in the first place.

Her phone pings again. It's a picture of the mountains again, but it was taken from an angle that includes the hot tub.

"Bastard," she mutters under her breath.

Alice is awake and leaning against the kitchen counter with a steaming mug already in hand. "Morning," she says. Bella holds out her phone and shows Alice the offer and pictures from Alec. "You've been busy." Alice scrolls the conversation and nods her approval. "Go. Have fun. Invite us."

They both laugh.

"I'm kidding," Alice says. "But only about the inviting us part. You should go."

Bella shrugs. "Maybe."

An hour later, she says goodbye to Alice at SeaTac and starts the trek home for the holidays. Jake howls occasionally from his carrier in the backseat, but for the most part, it's Christmas music and the tap of rain on the roof of the Subaru that fills the almost four-hour drive to Forks.

Charlie's waiting on the front porch swing, huddled in a thick hunting jacket and wrapped in a blanket with a mug of steaming coffee to keep his hands warm. He stands when Bella turns onto his driveway and makes his way across the yard before she cuts the engine.

He pulls her from her seat and into a hug. "It's been a while, kiddo."

A year to be exact.

"I'm sorry," Bella says. "I moved, and then I worked a lot…"

He smiles down at her. "I get it," he says. "I'm happy you're here now." He walks around to the back of the car and lifts the hatch. "How's your mom? Phil?"

"They're good." Bella stops to rescue Jake from the backseat.

Charlie grunts. "Cat."

Jake hisses and lunges in his crate.

Bella holds him up and tries to calm him. "Jake," she says. "Be nice to Grandpa."

Charlie and Jake both growl.

Sue laughs from the porch, and Bella waves. It takes two trips to get Bella's things, Jake's things, and all the gifts Bella brought with her, but Charlie helps and laughs away the long months that have passed without each other's company.

"Where are Leah and Seth?" Bella asks her stepmother.

"Leah will be here Monday, and Seth…" Sue shakes her head. "He said he'll be here by Christmas Eve, so who knows?"

There's warm soup and hoagies for lunch and a can of wet food for Jake that he scarfs before wandering away to explore the house Bella spent half her teen years in. Bella settles next to her father on the couch in the living room and rests her head sideways on his shoulder. Her eyes close in the next instant, and Charlie covers her with a blanket and lets her sleep while he channel surfs and shops on his phone.

She wakes not long after the sun sets, and the shadow of the woods darkens the room. It takes a couple of disorienting moments to place Charlie's Old Spice and the glow of the gigantic television on the opposite wall.

"Good nap?" Charlie asks.

Bella blinks and stretches. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep."

Charlie waves her off and stands with a yawn. "You, uh, mumbled a bit. Is everything okay?" His mouth presses into a hard line.

"Fine," she says. "Everything's good."

He studies her a moment longer and eventually nods. "All right. I'm going to get ready for work. Emmett asked for the night off."

Bella lifts her phone to check the time. "Shit," she says. "I'm supposed to meet him and Rosalie at Mable's in an hour." She rolls her neck and takes a deep breath. "Think she'll kill me if I cancel?"

"Go," Charlie says. "Even if it's just for a little while. They've missed you too."

She nods and stands. "I'm going to take a quick shower. Maybe that'll wake me up."

It helps. The chill in Bella's old room after the shower seals the deal. She's wide awake and ready for a night of booze and fun with her bestie. She chooses an ivory-fitted top that compliments her cleavage and the hazel flecks in her mostly brown eyes. She adds a long cardigan that brushes the tops of her black knee-high boots.

She draws bold smoky lines across her eyelids and smooths plumping gloss on her lips.

"Don't wait up," she says to Charlie and Sue on her way out the door. "Jake…" But the cat's nowhere in sight. "Be good."

The parking lot at Mable's is full, and a wave of nerves hits Bella the second before she opens the tavern door. The smell of peanuts and spilled beer is familiar, as is the awful country ballad blaring from the ancient jukebox across the room.

Bella cranes her head and searches the tables for Rosalie's blonde hair and Emmett's bulky frame. They're in a corner booth, and her best friend looks up at the exact moment Bella spots them. Rosalie lifts her hand in a lazy wave and stands up as Bella gets to the table. They hug without words or preamble and then slide in next to each other across from Emmett.

"Hey," he says. "Welcome home."

"Thanks," Bella says.

Rose flags a passing server and orders a pitcher of beer and bottomless nachos. Bella asks about their parents and their jobs. Rosalie bitches about how short-staffed the hospital is these days, but she's also thankful for the overtime since they're trying to buy a house. Charlie is Emmett's boss, and a good one at that, so Emmett never complains.

Then it's Rosalie's turn to ask questions.

"How's the apartment?"

"Are you still seeing that guy?"

"Have you talked to Jamie?"

"Anything new with work?"

Bella answers each one, in turn, and hesitates before she tackles the last. "You're never going to believe who was on the flight I worked on my way to Seattle yesterday."

Rosalie's eyes narrow. "High school or college?"

"Edward Cullen."

The smile falls from Rosalie's lips, and they press together in a tight line. She takes a deep breath and a moment to consider her words. "Wow…" is all she comes up with.

Bella smiles and reaches for her best friend's hand to give it a squeeze. "It was fine," she says. "I was fine. I'm still fine."

"Really?" Rosalie watches Bella's cheeks. The happy pink stain doesn't fade.

The mention of that name used to prick every part of Bella. The color would drain from her face a few moments before she'd curl her arms around herself and try to disappear. Eventually, it started to work. Pounds Bella didn't have to lose had shed, and her cheekbones had sharpened as her face thinned.

The smile on Bella's face now had disappeared for longer than Rosalie cared to remember.

All because of Edward fucking Cullen.

"Did you talk to him?" Rosalie asks, working hard to keep her voice even, neutral, like she wouldn't wring that fucker's neck if she had the chance.

"I asked if he needed help with his carry-on and thanked him for flying Alaska Air."

A wide smile breaks out on Emmett's face, and he nods. "Good for you," he says.

Rosalie pours three beers and lifts her glass in a toast. "Auld lang syne."

They clink to that and dig into the gigantic plate of nachos when it's delivered. Bella relaxes into her seat and opens up about Alec and the invitation for New Year's Eve.

"You have to go," Rosalie says. "Give me your phone."

Bella unlocks it and pulls up the picture with the hot tub Alec sent.

Rosalie's eyebrows lift. "How is this even a question?"

"I don't know," Bella says. "He's a little clingy. I think he thinks we're more serious than we actually are."

"You don't like him?" Emmett asks.

Bella shakes her head. "It's not that. I just don't want anything serious right now. New Year's Eve is a loaded holiday."

Rosalie nods. "You're not wrong." She shrugs. "Let's look for a rental nearby with a hot tub. We'll get fucked up and pass out a few minutes after midnight."

"Now you're talking, babe." Emmett kisses the side of her head in agreement.

"That's a plan," Bella says.

Emmett cuts himself off at the hour mark, but the girls keep going. They share another pitcher, order a cheeseburger to split, play every Britney song in the jukebox, and dance obscenely to the horror and delight of every guy in the place.

Eventually, the drinks catch up with them, and a trip to the ladies room is necessary. Bella loses her balance and whacks the crown of her head on the stall door as she's pulling down her jeans and underwear.

"Fuck," she says.

Rosalie's laughter rings out from the next stall over. "You okay in there?"

Bella takes care of her business and waits until they meet at the sink to answer. "I'm good."

They leave the bathroom with their arms hooked at the elbow and stumble down the long hall back to the bar. Bella stops short, and her heart stutters in her chest for half a beat when she spots Edward Cullen tucked away in a corner booth across the room.

"No," she says out loud.

Rosalie follows her friend's horrified gaze. "Well, fuck." She tugs Bella forward and back to Emmett and their table.

Bella sits, steals one more glance for confirmation, and lifts a fresh beer to her mouth. Emmett reaches across the table with an upturned palm. She sighs, fishes her keys out of her purse, and drops them into his fist.

There isn't enough beer in the world now that Edward Cullen is back in Forks.

He's traded the suit for jeans and the only starched dress shirt in the building. He doesn't look particularly sad or happy, simply engrossed in the amber liquid in the glass in front of him.

Bella stares without meaning to or even realizing it until he lifts the glass for a drink and she's busted. He holds her gaze over the upturned tumbler and drains it. He sets it down without breaking eye contact.

"I'll be right back," Bella says.

She's up and out of her seat, mug in hand, before Rosalie can blink and say "shit."

Bella stops short at the end of Edward's booth, and he loses their staring match by dropping his eyes to her tits, which, in fairness, are right at eye level. She takes a step back and considers dumping the beer on his head.

She instead slides onto the bench seat across the table from him and takes a long pull from her beer before she puts it on the table. "What are you doing here?" she asks.

"The same thing you are," he says. "Visiting family for Christmas."

"Oh, please. You haven't been back here since—"

"Carlisle's sick. Dementia."

Bella swallows some of the irrational ire his face dredged up long enough to apologize and mean it. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"Is that Rosalie?" he asks, gesturing to her glaring best friend across the room.

"Yeah."

"She looks like she wants me dead."

Bella shrugs. "Her husband's a deputy, so you're probably safe."

His lips quirk in an almost-smile. "Lucky me."

"Well… Good to see you," Bella says, already scooting herself out the way she came.

"That's it?" Edward asks.

"What were you expecting?"

"How've you been?"

Bella laughs and picks up her mug.

Not enough beer in the whole fucking world.

"Are you kidding me with this shit?" she finally says. "How have I been?"

"That's usually what people say when they haven't seen each other for a few years," Edward says. He looks up at the server, holds up two fingers, and then waves at our empties.

Bella's mouth hangs open, and she blinks. "That's what friends might say, sure."

"We're not friends?" he asks, narrowing his eyes and tilting his head.

"Stop that," Bella says, her cheeks heating. "You're not as charming as you think."

"We had a lot of fun."

She swallows and draws in a painful breath she hides with a smile. "Fun," she repeats. She leaves her glass on the table and scoots out of the booth. "Like I said, good to see you, Edward."

There's a shot of something clear waiting for her back at the table.

"What the hell?" Rosalie asks.

"I don't know." Bella shakes her head and lifts the shot in the air. "Definitely gonna need a lift," she says to Emmett.

Emmett nurses his second beer slowly and orders an appetizer sampler. Bella and Rosalie escape to the dance floor to burn off the liquor and some pent-up steam. They don't do this nearly often enough.

It's fun, until Bella catches Edward staring again.

"Be right back," Bella says to Rosalie.

Bella's eyes narrow as she stalks toward Edward. He leans back and cocks his head to stare at her. She sits down, thumps her fingers on the table between them, and shakes her head. "When are you leaving?" she asks.

"Well, I just ordered the steak and baked potato special, so not for a while."

She inhales and presses her lips together to keep her mouth shut. "I meant Forks," she finally says.

Edward frowns. "I'm not sure," he says. "I'm helping Esme settle a few things and find a place…"

Bella's eyes drop to his watch. "What do you do, anyway?"

"I'm a lawyer." He bends his arm to give her a better view.

She smirks. "Nice watch."

Then she leaves again before he can get a word out. She doesn't look back or waste time wondering if he's watching her. She knows he is by the scowl on Rosalie's face.

Bella orders another round of shots, because the last one's already starting to wear off and that won't do. The girls lick their wrists, and Rosalie pours the salt. One lime wedge later, they're back on the dance floor.

An actual burst of cold air dims Bella's smile. She glances over too late to see his exit, but Edward's table is bare, save an empty plate and a signed receipt.

Emmett cuts the girls off after the next round. He lifts his phone to check the time. "Babe, you've got to work tomorrow."

"Not until 2:00," Rosalie says. "It's early."

Her husband nods and holds out both hands. "You made me promise after last time to never let the two of you have more than three rounds of tequila. I pinky swore."

Rosalie frowns, turning to Bella. "He did."

"I remember," Bella says. "Still… I love this song."

Emmett leans back in his seat and waves them away. "Go. Dance. Just take it easy on the tequila."

He doesn't have to tell them twice.

Bella's almost completely sober by the time her friends drop her off at Charlie's. They wait in the driveway to make sure she gets in okay, even though Bella's an expert in getting into this house quietly in the middle of the night. She knows which stairs to avoid on her way up to the bathroom.

She stops long enough to brush her teeth and wash her face before slipping into her old room and under the quilt her grandmother made for her when she moved to Forks.

The room spins a little, so Bella closes her eyes and counts out loud in a whisper until she drifts off to sleep. It's the heavy kind, without dreams, until the silence is broken by a soft tap on her window.

Bella fights to stay asleep, because the reality of the now-patterned tapping noises can only mean one thing.

Persistent fucker.

She drags herself out of bed and across the room. Sure enough, Edward Cullen is standing in the middle of Charlie's front yard. She unlocks the window and lifts it enough to duck out of it to address him.

"You have got to be kidding me," she says.

"Is your dad still a cop?" Edward whispers, eyeing the window below Bella's.

Bella nods. "Still the chief, yeah. What are you doing here?"

Edward runs a hand through his hair. He looks left, then right, and then down at his feet. "I don't know," he says.

"You put a lot of thought into this, huh?"

He looks up and smiles. "You do that to me."

"Edward…" "Leave" is on the tip of her tongue. She knows she should say it. She should make him go and save herself while she still can. "Gimme a second," she says instead. She lowers the window and tiptoes around in the dark. She adds a sweater over her pajamas and carries her boots down the stairs.

"Ahhhhhhh!" Bella squeaks at the sight of a huddled figure lurking near the front door.

"Bella," Sue whispers. "Get Charlie. There's a man in the yard talking to himself."

Bella winces. "I know. I mean, no. He was talking to me."

Sue examines Bella in the light from the window. "Oh," she says. "Sneaking out at your age?"

Bella rolls her eyes. "Believe me, this is completely unexpected."

"Should I be worried?"

"Only if I'm not back by morning," Bella says on her way by. "Pretty sure this one's not a serial killer."

"Is that who I think it is?" Sue asks, looking out the window.

"Yes," Bella says with a sigh.

Sue wraps her sweater tighter around her body and walks over to her stepdaughter. "Are you sure this is wise?"

Bella shakes her head. "Not at all."

She opens the front door before Sue can talk her out of it. Edward's still there, but he's moved to the shadow of the small porch.

"No tree?" he asks.

She sits on the top step and pulls on her boots, deliberately taking her time. "I thought you were worth a broken neck when I was sixteen."

Edward shoves his hands into his jacket pockets.

Bella stands and pauses on the top step, enjoying the temporary feeling of being bigger and mightier than Edward Cullen. Or her stupid memories of him.

Even if both make her heart race.

It's so loud in her own ears that she's sure he must be able to hear it when she makes it down to solid earth and comes face-to-face with him. He looks down at her lips but doesn't step forward to close the distance between them.

"Will you come with me?" he asks.

"Where?"

"Not sure." He shrugs but takes a step away and pauses to see if she'll follow. And she does. It's her M.O., after all—following this pretty boy off the nearest cliff. He leads her to an Audi parked down the street in front of a neighbor's house. Bella's brows lift, and she stares at him over the hood. "It's Carlisle's," he says.

She never would've guessed that, since the inside is an intoxicating swirl of Edward's cologne and new leather. He pushes a button to start the car, and the inside goes dark, except for the soft blue glow of the controls on the dash.

They ride in silence. Edward's still in the same jeans and button-up, and Bella's in her Christmas llama pajamas and a gigantic tan sweater. She pulls the sleeves down over her fists and watches the forest go by in a blur of blackened shadows.

The car slows, and Bella draws in a quick breath. It's been years since she's been to this reservation.

A dozen, to be exact.

Edward takes the winding road down to the beaches and parks the car as close to the water as possible. He leaves the engine running and opens the sunroof so they can hear the crashing waves against the shoreline.

"It's so beautiful here," Edward says. "I'd forgotten."

Bella smiles. "Me, too. It's been a while."

"How long have you been flying?" He swings his head around to look at her, and the skin around his eyes crinkles with the grin that follows once he takes in her favorite jammies.

She breaks eye contact and watches the ocean in the moonlight instead. "Almost ten years," she says. "I spent most of my time in the air between Florida and Forks, anyway, so…"

"Do you like it?"

"I love it." She nods and rests her temple against the cool glass of the window. "I can go almost anywhere. I can see my parents as much or as little as I want. I have the seniority now to work as much or as little as I want and take the holidays off if I feel like it. I have… a lot of freedom."

"No one to tie you down?"

Bella smiles. "Just a chubby black cat."

Edward pushes a button, and his seat reclines until it's almost flat on the backseat. He looks up at the stars through the sunroof. "I figured you'd be married with a white picket fence and 2.5 kids by now," he says softly.

Bella swallows. She reaches down and pushes a button to recline her seat too. "I was married for a while." She focuses on the pillow-y clouds spaced across the sky. "He wanted all that, but I wasn't ready to be grounded," she says. "I'm not sure I ever will be." She draws in a slow, deep breath. "What about you? Last time I saw you, you wanted to be an English professor."

He barks out a hollow laugh. "God… I'd forgotten about that."

"You lived with a book in your hand."

He shrugs. "I still listen to books every day when I run."

"And is there a Mrs. Cullen?"

"Not on my part, but there are three thanks to my father. I was in Orlando hashing out the final details of his most recent divorce. Now I'm working on living wills and power-of-attorney papers for Esme because he can't be bothered with it." He lifts an arm and rests it beneath his head as a pillow. "No rest for the wicked."

"Still in Chicago?" Bella asks.

He nods, then turns his head to look at her. "What about you?"

"Seattle's home."

"Makes sense," he says.

"What kind of lawyer?"

"The kind that helps bad people get away with questionable things because they have money."

"Oh."

"I did get that degree in English, but Dad wanted me to join his firm, so I went to law school."

"Do you do everything your father tells you to do?" she asks.

His eyes soften at the corners in a way that makes her ache. "Yes."

"Are you happy?"

The question takes him by surprise. "I'm not unhappy," he says. "At least I don't think I am."

"That's not the same thing as being happy." Bella tucks her fist under her chin and turns in her seat to give him her full attention. "That's… existing."

"Are you?" He turns the question on her. "Happy?"

"Sure," she says with an easy smile. "My family's healthy, and thanks to a job I love, I can see them anytime I want. I have good friends. I love my cat. I can pay my bills and take days off. I'm living my best life."

Edward's whole face lights up with his smile. "Good," he says. "That's exactly how it should be."

The sky starts to lighten in the distance, and Bella's eyelids get heavier with each blink. "We should probably go," she says. "I told Sue I'd be home by morning."

He adjusts his seat and closes the sunroof. "Who's Sue?"

"My stepmom."

Edward nods. "Then we'd better go. I don't want to cross the chief of police."

The Audi pulls up in front of the Swan house at daybreak. "We're late," Bella says.

"Sorry about that." Edward brushes his fingers down her cheek. "Can I…? Can I see you again?"

Bella swallows. "Merry Christmas, Edward."

And she gets out of the car, closes the door, and walks away as fast as she can from him. The front door isn't locked, so Bella thanks Sue and her lucky stars, slipping into the house without looking back.

No. She can't see Edward Cullen again. Nothing good could come from that.

A loud snore scares a small scream from her, and a mop of mussed black hair moves on the sofa. "Damn, Bell." Her stepbrother, Seth, turns onto his side and buries his head under a pillow.

"Sorry," she whispers.

Charlie steps into the room from the kitchen, coffee pot in hand. His eyes narrow. "Going or coming?" he asks.

Her mouth goes dry for an instant. Then she lets go of the sleeves she's been gripping all night and lifts her chin. "Coming," she says. She looks up the stairs longingly toward her bed. "And now I'm going to bed."

She's asleep the second her head hits the pillow.

Seth forgives her, hours later, after they've both gotten some sleep and had a filling brunch, thanks to Sue. He catches her up on his classes, new job, and love life in the time it takes them to wash the dishes.

"What about you?" he asks. "Where were you before you came creeping in at dawn?"

"You're one to talk," she says, cracking the damp dishtowel against his arm. "You definitely weren't on the couch when I left after 2:00."

"Now I have even more questions."

"Well, ask them on the way to Newton's," Sue says. "We need a tree."

"Or you could mind your own business," Bella says.

Seth grabs the keys to her old truck from the hook by the backdoor. "Not likely," he says. "I'm driving."

Their playful bickering continues during the ride. Bella dodges the questions, thankful it's Seth and not Leah who busted her this morning. She hangs back after he parks the truck, digging for lip gloss in her purse.

"I'll meet you over there in a sec," Seth says. "Mom asked me to pick up something she ordered for Charlie while we're here."

Bella waves him away, puts on a fresh coat of strawberry vanilla gloss, and pauses to check her emails. Every store she loves has everything on sale, but she's already blown past her Christmas budget by more than she cares to admit, so she swipes and deletes the notifications one by one.

A light tap on the truck window makes her jump.

Edward Cullen stares back from the other side of the glass. She exhales slowly and tosses her phone into her purse. Before he can move, she whacks him with the door and steps out of the truck.

"Oh, sorry," she says.

"I'm surprised that thing's still running," Edward says, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets. "It was a million years old when I knew you."

Bella pushes her hair behind her ear and scowls. "I love this truck."

"I remember."

She nods and tries to walk away, but he follows her over to the section of the parking lot cordoned off for the maze of live trees that haven't sold.

"You never answered my question," he says.

Bella continues to walk and inspect trees while the memory that haunted her early twenties trails behind her in a coat that costs more than her monthly rent. "I did. I'm not interested in being your ghost of Christmas past, Edward."

"That's not what this is."

"I'm not some wrong for you to right," she says. "Sure, you broke my heart, you may have been the first, but there've been plenty of others since. It's fine."

"We decided a long-distance relationship wouldn't work out."

"We?" Bella stops and turns to face him. "I remember things a little differently."

Seth catches up to them with a huge wrapped gift under one arm. "Find one?" he asks.

"Not yet," Bella says.

Edward's eyes narrow, and he holds out his left hand, forcing Seth to shift the box to his other side in order to shake. "Edward Cullen."

Seth's grip tightens, and he leans forward with his teeth bared in a menacing smile. "Seth Clearwater, little brother."

Edward winces and shakes out his hand when Seth releases it.

"Now, boys," Bella says. "Be nice. It's Christmas."

"I thought you were an only?" Edward asks.

"Seth and Leah were part of the marriage package my dad picked up when he and Sue got hitched."

"I think we should finish this discussion over dinner," Edward says.

Seth snickers and wanders off to let Bella finish whatever this is with Edward. She sighs and tilts her head. "It would be so easy to let you break my heart again," she finally says.

"Dinner?" Edward's jaw sets stubbornly.

"Are you even listening to me?"

He nods. "I hear you."

"Fine," she says. "Diner. 7:00."

"Okay." His lips turn up at the corner, and he stays put as she backs away from him.

"And it's not a date." Bella points at him.

He keeps his hands in his jacket pockets and nods again. "Of course not," he says.

She has to make herself turn around and search for Seth. She finds him in front of the most bedraggled six-footer in the lot.

"This one?" he asks.

Bella studies it from tip to trunk and agrees it's the worst by far. "Yep," she says. "This one."

There's no sign of Edward or Carlisle's Audi after they've paid. Bella looks everywhere.

"So… That's the guy, right?" Seth asks when they're back on the road and headed home. "The one who left you in the woods?"

"He didn't leave me there," Bella says. "I got out of the car all on my own."

"But it was his fault."

"I guess."

"Is he the reason you were creeping around at dawn?" Disappointment drips from every word before Bella even answers.

"Yes."

"Ughhhhh." Seth draws out the groan for effect. "Does Charlie know?"

"Hell no! Are you kidding?"

"Look at you, riding the drama train home for the holidays."

Bella scowls. "Shut up."

That's the last thing she wants, especially when it comes to Edward.

Charlie meets the truck in the driveway, and Bella ditches them for a long hot shower. She shaves everything since it's been a while and definitely not because this dinner is a date.

Because it's not.

She hides out in her room and texts Rosalie while her hair dries. She knows her best friend wouldn't approve of Bella being inside the same city limits as Edward, let alone whatever this non-date dinner is, so she doesn't mention it.

She wastes as much time as possible and puts off getting ready until she's down to the last moment. An oversized sweater pairs nicely with skinny jeans and ankle boots. Bella doesn't bother with makeup, because this is still her vacation. Dinner with Edward Cullen be damned.

And it's not like she's out to impress him, anyway.

She runs a brush through her hair and sprays her wrist with some herbal spray Renee put in her Florida stocking this year. She stares at herself in the large mirror attached to her closet door and starts to second guess everything from her natural brown waves to the shade of her jeans and whether or not it looks like she's trying to be sexy.

Ugh.

She tries to sneak out without notice, but Seth catches a glimpse of her at the bottom of the stairs. "Damn," he says. "Where are you headed?"

Charlie's head whips up from the couch and studies Bella at a distance. "Going out?" he asks.

Bella nods. And lies. Sort of. "I'm meeting a friend at the diner. No big deal."

Her father nods and turns back to the hockey game on his big screen. "Have fun. Call if you need a ride."

"I'll be home early," she says, because there's no way she's going out drinking with Edward. She laughs out loud at the thought.

"Yeah," Seth says. "Have fun." He waves and gives Bella his patented "WTF?"face.

She waves and slips out the door into the cool night air. The diner isn't far away, which is good because it's less time for her to obsess and freak out about whatever this is or isn't.

The Audi's already parked in the corner of the lot, and the diner's mostly empty. Edward's not hard to find. He looks up from the booth nearest the kitchen and grins.

Bella stalls. That grin. It's too much. Dammit.

Damn him.

She shakes herself out of the temporary stupor and walks to the table with quick, deliberate steps. She slides into the booth across from him and reaches for a menu.

It's been a while.

"I wasn't sure you'd actually come," Edward says.

"It beats you showing up in the middle of the night again."

"Yeah… That house is a little more crowded than I remember it being."

"And Leah won't even be here until tomorrow. There's no sneaking out with Seth on the couch."

"Who's Leah?"

"Stepsister."

"Wicked?"

Bella shakes her head. "No. She's cool. Very cool."

A server interrupts them to get their orders, but Edward has lots of questions about Bella's new family situation, so the conversation picks back up without pause when they're alone again.

It's easy—too easy.

Their burgers and onion rings come out right away, and Bella dips a ring in her chocolate peppermint milkshake. Edward's entire face scrunches in disgust.

She shrugs and dips another. "What about you?" she asks. "All those wives… Any steps?"

Edward shakes his head and laughs. "Not on my father's side. He hates kids. I was a fluke."

"And your mom?"

He nods. "Her husband, Marcus, has a daughter, but Chelsea's not even out of high school yet, so we don't talk much. She seems nice, though. Smart kid. Lots of scholarships lined up."

"Do you see them a lot?"

He shrugs. "I see them when I can."

"When you're not busy helping terrible people get away with questionable things," Bella says.

"Right."

"I still can't get over that. You pictured me with 2.5 kids, and I always pictured you as a frumpy weed-puffing lit professor in holy sweaters with much dirtier hair."

Edward laughs. "So you've been picturing a full-grown version of eighteen-year-old me?" He shakes his head. "Sorry to disappoint you… And I didn't mean to break your heart," he says. "Do you remember the last time we talked on the phone?"

Her mouth drops open, and she slowly shakes her head.

"I do." Edward leans forward and pushes his near empty plate to the edge of the table. "I asked why you weren't hanging out with Rosalie, since it was a Friday night, and you told me she was at the school's Christmas dance."

A flicker of recognition lights in Bella's eyes. "I do remember that, now that you mention it."

"Why didn't you go that dance?"

Bella's nostrils flare, and her lips purse. "Because my boyfriend was across the country."

"Exactly," Edward says. He leans back in his seat and looks down at the table between them. "You were going to miss out on so much more than just one dance if you sat around waiting for me. I wanted you to go out, have fun, and do all the things you couldn't do while waiting on phone calls from my sorry ass."

She lifts her milkshake and reconsiders her vow to avoid alcohol tonight. She sucks in the fragments of frozen chocolate and tries to work out what she wants to say without resorting to name-calling or throwing napkins.

Because what a bunch of shit.

"I would've waited forever for you," she finally says without looking up at him. She pulls $20 from her purse and tosses it on the table. "I guess you did us both a favor."

"Bella…" He looks up in a panic when she stands. "Please stay. Finish your shake. I didn't mean to upset you."

"You were a really dumb kid, Edward," she says. "Despite that $1000 watch on your wrist, I don't think much has changed. Not really."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asks.

"I loved you. It was a silly, obsessive kid love, but it was real enough. You could've said you were breaking up with me for my own good so I could've called you an idiot and been pissed off. But instead you…" She pauses to take a deep breath, because crying is not an option. "You let me think it was me. And that hurt."

"I'm sorry," he says. "I was stupid."

"Please wish Esme a merry Christmas from me."

Bella walks out with her back straight and only a slight tremor in her hands when she grips her steering wheel. Edward doesn't move from the table. She sits in the lot with her car in reverse and her foot on the brake for a couple of minutes, at least. And he sits still as a statue, with unfocused eyes turned down to the money she left on the table.

The audacity of that man.

She could've been cruel and told him she missed all those dances anyway and didn't date again until after she left Forks and enrolled in community college in Florida. But it's none of his business, and none of this has even mattered for at least a decade.

How can these brief encounters make it all raw again?

His head turns, their eyes lock for a moment, and Bella pulls out of her parking spot and heads in the opposite direction of home. She takes a lazy ride through the neighborhoods closest to the high school and lets the lights and Christmas decorations ease her mind. She hums along with the Christmas tunes on her playlist until fat raindrops spoil the mood and send her home.

Charlie, Sue, and Seth are gathered at the kitchen table, sipping spiked apple cider and playing UNO. Bella pulls up a mug and a chair. They keep dealing until Charlie's eyes get heavy and Sue starts to yawn.

"Movie?" Seth asks.

"Sure," Bella says.

She changes into pajamas and meets him in the living room. They each grab a blanket and an end of the couch.

"Rom-com?" he asks, lifting the remote to turn on the TV.

"Christmas comedy," she says firmly.

"Excellent."

They start with Christmas Vacation and fall asleep midway through Elf.

"Well, isn't this cozy?" a voice asks from above Bella a few hours later.

Bella opens her eyes and grimaces at her stepbrother's dirty sock and gigantic foot a few inches away from her face. Next, she notices the pain in her neck from the weird angle her head is tilted. "Ugh," she says.

Leah laughs and offers her a hand. "Come on," she says. "I'll make coffee."

Bella's joints protest when she climbs over Seth's legs and her feet hit the cold hardwood floors. "When did you get in?" she whispers on their way to the kitchen.

"A few minutes ago," Leah says. "I think Mom and Charlie are still sleeping. Want to make breakfast?"

Bella nods and heads for the fridge while Leah fires up the coffee pot and stove. It only takes a few minutes of bacon frying in the pan to coax the rest of their family out of bed. Leah makes eggs. Bella flips pancakes. Sue and Charlie let their girls spoil them.

Rosalie calls after breakfast to ask if Bella is up for a shopping trip in Port Angeles. "The day before Christmas Eve?" Bella asks.

"Oh, I'm in," Leah says. "There are still a few things I need to pick up."

"Fine," Bella says to them both. "Pick us up in an hour."

Bella and Leah fight over the mirror in the bathroom since it has better lighting than either of their bedrooms. Then they trade sweaters at the top of the stairs and kiss their parents goodbye on the way out after Rosalie honks in the driveway.

Bella gets shotgun since she's the best friend, but Leah takes over the music because neither of the other girls are feeling Bella's Christmas groove. The drive to Port Angeles is dreary and gray, but the little town itself is lit to the hilt for the holidays. Shop windows have strands of twinkle lights accenting their goods. Street lamps have wreaths and tinsel candy canes hanging from them. Every parking lot is packed.

Rosalie stops at AutoZone first to pick up some Jeep parts she ordered as part of Emmett's gift, since he's restoring an ancient CJ that belonged to his granddad. Next up is the yarn store. Leah fills a handbasket with every variety and color for Sue, and it happens to be next door to the cannabis shop, which is also on Leah's to-do. She picks up some edibles for Seth's stocking and some for her own. Bella and Rosalie look but can't touch.

After a few more stops, they decide to break for coffee to rest and refuel. They carry their bags and boxes and wait in the longest line of the day, but the pour over is worth it in the end. They head for the sofa closest to the fireplace, and Bella doesn't notice the figure in a nearby rocking chair until the girls are already seated and settled.

She leans over to Rosalie. "Is that… Esme Cullen?"

When Bella had known Edward's aunt, she'd had shoulder-length auburn hair and skin so perfect it practically sparkled. The woman a few feet away is grayed and frowning at the flames.

Rosalie's mouth drops open, and she nods. "It is." There's one shopping bag at Esme's feet and a purse on her lap, and she's managed to tune out all the noise and bustle around her. "I haven't seen her since Dr. Cullen's retirement party a few years ago."

"He's sick," Bella says. "Edward said he's suffering from dementia."

"I know." Rosalie turns in her seat and narrows her eyes. "When did you talk to Edward?"

Bella cringes. "I'll tell you later," she says. Before she can stop herself, she stands and walks the short distance over to Edward's aunt. "Esme?"

Esme blinks, shakes her head, and looks up. "Oh, my," she says. A slow smile spreads across her face. "Bella."

Bella smiles, too. Edward's aunt has only ever been kind to her. "Getting some shopping done?" Bella asks.

"Yes," Esme says. "It's the first chance I've had since… Well, I don't get out much. Thank goodness for Amazon and UPS."

Bella's smile falters. "May I?" she waves at the chair next to Esme's.

"Please." Edward's aunt lights up as she waves to the seat in welcome.

"I'm so sorry about Carlisle," Bella says. "Edward told me he's not well."

Esme reaches out and squeezes Bella's hand. "Thank you. It's been a very difficult year."

"I can't imagine."

"Edward forced me out of the house today. He told me…" Esme looks around and lowers her voice. "He said I needed a break."

Bella tightens her grip on Esme's hand. "We all need a break sometimes. You're only human. You can't do it all."

Esme's shoulders fall, and she exhales. "Thank you for saying that."

"I mean it," Bella says. "In fact, we're having a little Christmas Eve thing tomorrow night at my dad's house. It's silly, really, but you should come. Growing up, Charlie and I always procrastinated buying Christmas trees because we both hate decorating them, so it kind of became a thing to wait until the last minute, buy the ugliest tree we could find, and then host a 'party' so our friends can decorate for us while we ply them with food and booze."

"Oh, I don't know…"

"Come. Bring Carlisle." Bella almost chokes out the rest. "And Edward."

"But Carlisle—"

"He'll be fine. I promise."

"I don't know, but thank you for the invitation," Esme says. "It's very sweet of you."

"Any time after 6:00 is fine."

"I appreciate the offer so much." Esme pulls her mug up to her lips and finishes the last of her coffee. "If I don't see you there, I hope you have a very merry Christmas."

Bella stands when Esme does, and they share a quick awkward hug. Bella stares after her and makes her way back to her friends.

Rosalie's eyebrows are buried in her thick bangs. "Okay, Bella. What the fuck?"

Bella waits until Esme has left the shop to spill her guts. She confesses the middle of the night drive to the beach and the run-in at the tree lot. Rosalie's mouth is set in a straight line by the time Bella gets around to the dinner non-date.

"And I may have just invited Esme to bring him and Carlisle to the tree party tomorrow night," Bella finishes with a flourish.

The other girls stare at her, stunned into silence.

"Dammit," Rosalie finally says, shaking her head. "Here we go again."

Bella smiles. "It's Christmas. They shouldn't be alone."

Leah opens a pack of cannabis fruit chews. "Seth says he's hot," she says. "I can't wait to see what all the fuss is about."

Rosalie rolls her eyes. "Yeah, he's pretty. But he's a dick."

Leah's lip curls into a wicked grin. "Those are my favorite."

"Let's go," Bella says. "We still have a couple of shops to hit."

Their previously scheduled programming resets, and they leave the shop refreshed and on a mission to finish their Christmas shopping today. No matter what.

They succeed, and the sky darkens during their drive back to Forks. Rosalie stays for dinner since Emmett's working. Sue doubles recipes every time the kids are home, so there's always more than enough food.

Charlie flips through the channels after dinner, surfing until he finds what he's looking for. It wouldn't be much of a Christmas without the infamous leg lamp. Charlie and Sue settle in their recliners. Bella, Rosalie, and Leah take the couch. Seth stretches out on the floor at their feet with Jake curled up at his side.

When the movie's over, they call it a night because Christmas Eve is by far the most hectic day of the year for the Swan-Clearwater family. Bella walks Rosalie to the door, watches her drive away, and hesitates on the front porch. She checks left and right, but there's no sign of a black Audi.

She carries Jake up to her room, plops him onto her bed, and walks over to the window. Their yard is small, but it's somehow empty without a lost boy in it looking up at her.

She goes through her nightly routine and slips under the sheet and quilt. A rain shower rolls through sometime after midnight. Bella closes her eyes and tries to focus on the steady beat against the roof above her, but sleep is elusive when every noise sounds like a tap against the pane. Wishful thinking turns into dirty dreams that aren't memories and star a sexy lawyer in the best-fitting suit she's ever seen. It's a fitful sleep until daylight, when her body seems to recognize he won't be showing up this time. Then she oversleeps.

The house is already engulfed in chaos when Bella stumbles down the stairs, still in her pajamas, just before lunch.

"There you are," Charlie says. "You feeling okay, kiddo?"

Bella nods. "Just tired, I guess."

"Perfect timing." Sue hands her an apron. "We're just getting started."

Charlie and Bella make feta and spinach tartlets while Sue chops rotisserie chicken for lemon chicken soup. Leah and Seth take the easy way out and focus on adding glaze to store bought meatballs and making brownies. They snack as they go and eventually fill every inch of counter and island space with various reception-style foods.

They break at 3:00 to shower and get ready. Well, most of them shower. Seth freshens his deodorant and runs a hand through his jet black hair. Then he falls asleep in Charlie's recliner watching an old episode of Ancient Aliens while waiting for the others.

Bella takes the quickest shower of her life. She tells herself it's to save some hot water for Leah, but it's an amped version of her normal Christmas Eve excitement. She curls her hair and tries on three outfits before ultimately choosing a simple red sweater dress and tall black boots.

Rosalie arrives early, as usual, and nods her approval at the holiday glow lighting her best friend's face.

Bella tries not to watch the clock, but when the doorbell rings and she pauses to see who it is, she tries not to look disappointed that Leah's cousin, Emily, and her husband, Sam, are next. Then Charlie's BFF, Billy, wows them all with a date on his arm. Two dispatchers come bearing wine, and some of the guests bring finger foods, even though it's not required.

At 6:30, Bella gives up and heads for the dining room. Esme basically told her they weren't coming. Bella's only surprised about the sinking feeling of the reality. She scoops artichoke dip and hummus onto her plate, adding a variety of sliced peppers and celery for dipping.

Rosalie nods at the empty spot next to her on the sofa. Bella sighs and sits. Rosalie doesn't say "I told you so." She just pats her best friend's leg and hands over her wine glass, since Bella appears to need it more at the moment.

The decorating begins with a trickle of friends who need a refill and notice the open storage bins lining the wall in the dining room. The excitement is contagious, and the rest of the guests don't hesitate to get in on the action.

"Alexa," Bella says, joining them around the tree. "Play Christmas music."

Charlie winks at her from across the room and smiles. Bella smiles back and makes her way to the closest tub. She lifts a couple of wrapped ornaments from the pile and peels away the tissue paper. She hangs the wooden fish a few branches away from her grandmother's glass pickle.

A loud series of thuds silences the room, and Bella turns on the spot when her father opens the front door. Shock doesn't begin to cover the look on his face.

Bella steps forward and reaches for Esme's hand to pull her inside. "I'm so happy you made it," she says. Her eyes go wide and focus on Edward behind his aunt. He's got his arm hooked through Carlisle's, and he's holding a cake carrier.

"Merry Christmas," Charlie says.

Esme looks around nervously and finally smiles. "Merry Christmas."

Bella takes her coat, and the rest of the room resumes pre-knock activities, with the exception of Rosalie who steps forward to take the carrier from Edward.

"Hey, Dr. Cullen," she says.

Carlisle's eyes narrow for a moment, and then he says, "Rosalie! It's so good to see you."

"It's been a while," Rosalie says. She turns to Esme who hugs her next. "I'm so happy you came." And Bella can tell she means it despite the "eat shit"look she's giving Edward over his aunt's shoulder.

He looks down at the floor, but Sue rescues him. "You must be Edward." She holds out her hand to shake his and offers to take his coat. "I'm Sue."

"Thank you," he says. "Nice to meet you." He gives her his full attention and a 100-watt smile that makes Sue and Bella flush.

"Come in," Bella says. "There's so much food. Helping with the tree is actually optional."

"That's my favorite part of the season," Esme says. She takes Carlisle's hand and makes a plate of the foods he points to.

Only Bella and Edward are left standing at the front door. His green cable knit sweater hugs his chest, and dark jeans accent the rest. Bella swallows and catches herself before she leans in to sniff him. Because he's wearing that stupid sexy cologne again. And he shaved probably just to show off that perfect jawline.

"She's so happy," he finally says. "Thank you for this."

"You don't have to thank me." Bella steps closer and lowers her voice. "She looked like she needed some fun."

"You don't even know."

Bella smiles. "Come and eat. Drink and be merry." She waves him over to the spread of food on the table.

Leah waves her over to the tree and hands her a pack of silver bells to hang. "Not bad," she says, eyeing Edward from across the room.

"Yeah," Bella agrees without looking.

"He keeps looking at you."

Bella's cheeks go pink. "I'm the only person here he knows."

"Like he wants to eat you."

Bella pretends to scratch her shoulder with her chin so she can peek over her shoulder. Her stepsister isn't wrong. Edward knows he's busted and has the decency to look away.

Emmett doesn't bother knocking when his shift ends. He walks into the Swan home like he's family because he is. He kisses Rosalie and playfully shakes a few fresh raindrops from his curly brown hair onto her. Next, he reaches for Bella, and she gets a chilled hug and a warm "Merry Christmas."

The aroma of mulled cider spills from the kitchen, and Sue brings a fresh mug for Emmett. He kisses her cheek and takes it with a smile.

If he's surprised to see the Cullens in the mix, he doesn't show it. He knows Carlisle and Esme already, and she takes a moment to introduce him to their nephew. Bella watches the two men shake hands and the easy way Emmett welcomes her ex into the fold.

The real traitor is Jake. He wanders over to Edward and weaves between his legs, purring and arching his back for attention. Bella moves to collect her rogue kitty, but Edward scoops him up before she can get to them.

"I think your dad's cat likes me," Edward says, smiling and rubbing the spots behind Jake's ears as the cat lifts his head in agreement.

"He's mine," Bella says. "This is Jake."

"Yours when you're home, or…?"

"Mine all the time." She pauses to accept two mugs of cider from Seth when he approaches them.

"Technically, you timeshare him with Mrs. Cope," Seth says.

"Okay, that's true. My neighbor takes care of him when I have to overnight somewhere away from home."

"You guys want whiskey?" Seth asks, pulling a small bottle of Jack Daniels from his hoodie pocket and shielding it with his body.

"Hell yes," Bella says at the same moment Edward replies, "No, thanks. I'm the designated driver tonight."

Seth pours a hefty amount into Bella's cup, screws the lid on the bottle, and tucks it away in his shirt. "Don't say I never gave you anything," he jokes as he walks away.

Bella holds both ciders until Jake shifts in Edward's arms, interested in something on the other side of the room. Edward lowers him to the ground, and Jake takes off like a shot, leaving the ex-lovers alone again. Bella offers Edward his mug, and he takes it with both hands so the tips of his fingers graze her skin.

"Thanks," he says.

She takes a quick sip and savors the burn on its way down. "I didn't think you were coming," she says. "Esme seemed hesitant yesterday."

"She was. That's why we're late. She changed her mind several times today."

"Well… I'm glad you're here." His eyes drop to her lips, so she hides them by taking another drink.

"So…" Rosalie greets them, sliding between them with a wine glass in her hand. "Edward, long time no see."

Edward tips his head forward in greeting. "Rosalie."

"Bella tells me you're some big-shot lawyer now."

"I was," Edward says. "I quit this morning."

"What?" Bella asks.

He shrugs. "I wasn't happy."

Rosalie smiles and tightens her jaw. "Got any plans?"

"Some." He lifts his mug and turns to check on Carlisle.

Rosalie gives Bella a look that goes unnoticed. Edward's profile is far more interesting.

"I bet," Rosalie says.

"I'll be right back," Edward says.

Carlisle seems settled and comfortable on the sofa with Emmett and Billy. They're watching the Hawaiian Bowl with the volume turned down in favor of the Christmas music playing through the house on Charlie's wireless speaker system. Edward kneels in front of his uncle on one knee and leans forward to ask if he needs anything.

"I hope you know what you're doing," Rosalie says, touching the back of Bella's hand.

"I have no idea," Bella admits, still watching Edward's every move. The opening strains of a familiar Dan Fogelberg tune bring her back to reality, and her phone vibrates in her hand. Alec's name flashes on the screen. She winces and hands her glass to Rosalie. "Be right back."

She leaves the way everyone else came in, steps onto the front porch, and closes the door behind her. Instead of answering, she lets the call go to voicemail and inhales the crisp, damp air.

Bella stares at the forest at the end of the road.

Sun Valley's beautiful this time of year.

But so is Forks.

The door opens and closes behind her, and she doesn't have to turn to know it's Edward.

"Why'd you quit?" she asks.

"I want to help someone who really needs it for a change. I'm going to stay with Esme and Carlisle for a while." A coat that smells like him engulfs her frame from behind. "It's cold out here. I thought you might…" He trails off when she lifts one arm at a time to stuff them in the sleeves.

"Thanks," she says, shoving her hands in the lined pockets, because he's not wrong; it's definitely cold out here. "How long?"

Edward steps next to her but keeps a few inches between them. "Not sure. But I do know I'm done in Chicago. For good."

"And your dad's okay with this?"

"Hardly, but he'll survive."

"Wow," Bella says. "Chalk this up on the list of things I never thought I'd see: Edward Cullen is moving to Forks."

Edward smiles. "It's not all that surprising," he says. "Some of my best memories are here."

Bella forgets how to breathe when he steps closer and lifts her chin with a crooked pointer finger. She's been here before, at the edge of a cliff with Edward a breath away. And it wasn't a waste. Not even close. She steps into his embrace and brushes her lips across his… once, twice… and then sighs and presses a full kiss on his mouth.

It's nothing at all like she remembered, but they were fumbling curious kids the last time they did this. This is something else. Edward waits for her to part her lips and smiles against them.

Voices carry on the other side of the door, ending the kiss too soon for Bella's liking.

"I don't want you to be Christmas past," Edward breathes against her temple, still clinging to her. "I want a future… or at least the possibility of one."

"I don't live in Forks."

"Seattle isn't far."

"I don't know how this could work," she whispers.

"We can figure it out this time. It's my turn to wait, forever if I have to."

Thanks to Iris for fixing my mistakes. Thanks to Lizzie Paige for a beautiful banner I adore. And thanks to my sister for pushing me to write my own little version of a Hallmark Christmas movie with a beginning as the end. There may be more someday. Who knows?

Thanks for reading. xoxo

MSC