Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Good thoughts in. Bad thoughts out. Remember that Obi-Wan is alive. Forget that he died.

It was impossible.

Ahsoka ignored the cold Coruscant breeze that blew across her bare arms. She looked at the different scars on her forearms, each one marking a significant event in the last week in her life. Even when the injuries healed, she would never be able to forget what had happened.

There was a fading bruise on her left elbow from where she had scooped up Obi-Wan's still form and hadn't expected a dead body to feel so heavy. Before she even took his pulse, she knew he was dead, and the pain of her elbow hitting concentre had gone unnoticed.

A burn across her knuckles on both hands were from the crash on Orondia. She only registered the injury when she felt the burned skin stinging as she gripped her lightsabers, stood over Anakin's unconscious body. She had pushed past her head injury as well, refusing to lose a second Master in less than 72 hours.

The third injury was from Naboo. Evacuating Senator Amidala and the Queen from the grounds, she tripped on a stairwell and caught the underside of her right forearm. The carpet had grazed her skin, whilst the ledge of the stair cut a thin line across her skin. It had leaked blood onto the Queen's dress, but in the moment, it was ignored.

Ahsoka had felt more ignored in the past week than she had at any other point in her entire life.

Her montrals picked up vibrations behind her, and the Force told her exactly who it was. Where Obi-Wan's presence used to soothe her, now it just distressed her. She was too afraid of seeing his face, or hearing his voice, and mistaking him for Rako Hardeen.

"I've found her, Anakin…" She heard him say, "On the roof, of all places… no, no, she's just sitting here… Leave it to me."

The footsteps got louder, and then they stopped. She turned her head away to watch the city lights instead of looking at the man sitting beside her. A sob got stuck in her throat when he wrapped his cloak around her shoulders; it smelled like him.

"Would you rather speak to Anakin instead?" He asked. Ahsoka shrugged her shoulders in response; she didn't want to speak to anyone. Even after Obi-Wan died, she had resigned herself to silence for 24 hours, just like Anakin, despite Master Plo's desperate attempts to get her to open up.

If the Council wanted a reaction from them to prove that Obi-Wan was really dead, then they certainly got one. All they needed to do was publish the recordings from Ahsoka's quarters of her screaming Obi-Wan's name in her sleep as she constantly saw him laying lifelessly on the ground.

"Did you run away to force Anakin and I to speak to each other?" Ahsoka bit down on her lip; appalled that he thought she was that selfish. "Because if you did, it worked."

"After Master Qui-Gon died, I'm sure you wanted some time to yourself." She kept her voice cold, refusing to look at him. It was too painful to think about what his face looked like- his real face. "And you never had anyone dragging you around the universe to avenge his death."

Obi-Wan had killed Maul on the spot, even if he had been unsuccessful. Ahsoka wished she had been on the top of the building when the real Rako attacked. She wouldn't have stood any more of a chance than Anakin at capturing the bounty hunter, but she could've tried.

She barked a laugh, "I hate to admit it, Master Kenobi, but it would've been easier if you just stayed dead." She had to make one thing crystal clear: "Easier, but not better. For what it's worth, I'm glad you're alive."

He paused in whatever he was about to say; he hadn't been expecting that. Eventually, he spoke, "I don't think you know how good it feels to hear someone say that." He sounded hurt, but so had Anakin for the past week whenever he spoke, "I'm glad to see you alive as well. Anakin shouldn't have brought you into this mess, and I'm sorry you had to get involved."

"You expected me to sit by and watch him suffer alone?" For the first time, she turned her head to look at him, "Don't blame this on Anakin. The fault lies with you and the Council."

"I know." Obi-Wan's eyes were full of regret, but he had proved that anything can be an act of deception. "And I'm sorry."

She rested her chin on her knees, staring straight ahead into the city. "Sorry doesn't erase the memory of holding your dead body."

"I know." She hated it when adults said 'I know' just to shut children up. "I won't ever forget the feeling of holding Master Qui-Gon's body, and I deeply regret putting you through that experience because I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy."

That stung. Obi-Wan's worst enemy was the one who killed his Master.

"But you didn't have a choice." She sighed quietly. "How would you feel if Master Qui-Gon's death was just one of the Council's schemes, and they were counting on your reaction to seal the deal? How would you feel?"

Obi-Wan was silent for a while before he spoke. "I would feel very heartbroken and betrayed, Ahsoka. I certainly would not run in Qui-Gon's arms and forgive him. I think that makes you a better Jedi- and friend- than me."

Before they left Naboo, Ahsoka saw Obi-Wan for the first time since his 'death'. She had jumped into his arms, crying tears of joy because the nightmare of losing her Grandmaster was finally over. Obi-Wan told her that he was sorry, and she had instantly forgiven him before thinking over what he had done. How could she have just forgiven him after he shattered Anakin's heart? And how did that make her a good friend?

The sob strangled through her throat and escaped as a whimper. There was no stopping the tears now.

She heard Obi-Wan shuffle closer, "Would you like a hug, Ahsoka?"

Something told her that Obi-Wan needed the physical support more than she did, so she nodded, not trusting her voice to sound strong.

Slowly, two strong familiar arms wrapped around her, and Ahsoka felt the unmistakable feeling of facial hair brush against her montrals. The stubble that was just starting to grow back grazing against the sensitive organ. Through his robes- Obi-Wan Kenobi's robes- he felt warm, and Ahsoka shuddered into his chest.

"There, there, little one." He hushed her sobs that ripped through her chest. She clung onto his robes like her life depended on it, "It's alright now, it's okay."

"W-What if you die again?" She cried, revealing her worst fear. "And you don't come back?"

"We must not dictate our lives by 'what ifs', Ahsoka." He said, rubbing her back which calmed her panicked breaths, "The only thing I can promise for certain is to never participate in another mission like this, ever again."

Pulling away slightly to glance at her Grandmaster, Ahsoka wondered how much he meant that. The Jedi were expected to serve the Republic, not matter the costs.

"I mean it." He enforced, most likely picking up on her line of thought, "I will not participate in harming you and Anakin ever again." He gave her one last tight squeeze, "Speaking of Anakin, I better take you back to your quarters before he blows a fuse."

Nodding, Ahsoka wiped her face dry and accepted his hand up, "You're feeling a little shaky, Master? Afraid of heights?"

His chuckle was dry, "I won't be running across the tops of buildings for a long time, Ahsoka." He placed his hands firmly on her shoulders, "I really am sorry for what I did, my dear. What can I do to earn your forgiveness?"

Touched.

She and Anakin barely received an apology from the Council, and even that only consisted of 'sorry you had to figure it out mostly on your own'. As much as she wanted to instantly forgive him, this experience had taught her that forgiveness could only be earned, not given. "I'd appreciate it if you fixed things with Anakin."

"You have my word." He promised, and she knew he meant it. "But I would like to do something for you, Ahsoka, anything at all."

"You would be." There was nothing she wanted more than to watch her two Masters exchange banter like they used to. "But if you insist…" She gave him a sly smile, "Anakin refuses to teach me the advanced forms of reverse grip."

"I would be more than happy to instruct you." He said, smiling down on her, "And I'll speak to Anakin about encouraging you to use a grip that feels natural for you."

Ahsoka lunged forwards, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist and murmuring into his chest, "Thank you, Obi-Wan."

"You're welcome, little one. Thank you for being so tolerating and putting on a brave face through this. You're on your way to becoming an honourable Jedi Knight." Her chest swelled up with pride from his praise; even Anakin hadn't ever said that to her. "Now, let's get you back to where you belong."

She squeezed him close for just a moment longer, "I'm glad you're back where you belong, Master Kenobi."

I think it would've been so interesting to see Ahsoka react to Obi-Wan coming back after 'Crisis on Naboo' as I'm sure she had some strong opinions about his deception. I was so angry with that arc for the way it hurt Anakin and Ahsoka, so this is a little tribute to those emotions that I felt after watching the final episode.

Hope you liked it!

Yours truly, dieFabuliererin