This chapter is named after the Arctic Monkey's song 'Do I Wanna Know'.

BPOV

It didn't take me long to figure out where we were driving to. "Port Angeles?"

"Yes," Edward replied, smiling. His honey eyes swept over my bare legs, as they had several times throughout the journey.

I mused over this. I had this feeling that the location should give me a clue, however I came up short. Edward and I went to Port Angeles occasionally, usually just for a change of scenery or for something relating to the wedding. There was also this ice cream place that I had grown to love. Surely we were a little overdressed for ice cream.

I glanced over at Edward's face, ready to drink him in after an afternoon of separation. His eyes were already on me, studying me, even as he drove. I didn't bat an eye, having grown accustomed to his psychotic driving by this point. Besides, I was being hypnotised by my favourite crooked smile, illuminating his face.

"Any guesses yet?"

"No," I pouted. "Is it glaringly obvious and I'm just not seeing it?" Like prom.

He shrugged, eyes alight with humour. "Not overly. I feel like my idea of keeping it a surprise has perhaps overstated things. It really is nothing extraordinary."

I relaxed at this. "That's fine by me. You know I don't like a big fuss." I placed my hand on his leg and was surprised when he tensed at the contact. His smile faded and he turned attentions back to the road.

"Well you'll definitely be okay with tonight, then," he said, his eyes betraying the casual tone of his voice. I surreptitiously removed my hand from his leg to tuck my hair behind my ear, noticing his posture relax immediately.

What the hell? He was clearly uncomfortable with my touch. It was strange, after sharing such an intimate experience only last night, that he had reservations about something as innocent as my hand on his leg. It was hardly explicit.

It occurred to me then that we hadn't even discussed this monumental milestone of our relationship. I had thought about it plenty, yet for some reason neither of us had brought it up. In fact, now that I thought about it, Edward hadn't shut up for the entire drive. Was he filibustering? I opened my mouth to say something but he beat me to the punch.

"I have something I want to say, but I don't want you to be difficult," he murmured, a smile in his voice.

"Yes?" I replied warily.

"I have a very small, very unexciting gift for you. In fact, it doesn't even qualify as a gift. I made sure it was nothing flashy."

I was so relieved that I forgot to be upset. "Oh. Okay...what is it?"

He seemed pleased by my mild reaction. "It's in the glove box."

I reached forward and opened it up. I automatically scrunched my face.

"Thank you, Edward, but I really don't need a cell phone."

He rolled his eyes. "Please, that is not a cell phone. It's a plastic cube at best. I just want something to talk to you on, if I'm hunting or Alice is compelled to kidnap you again," he grinned.

He had a point. It certainly had more appeal than talking on the home phone, where Charlie was often within earshot. I made the very mature decision of accepting my gift gracefully.

"Okay, you've sold me on it. Anything that gives me more access to you works for me." I put the thing in my purse.

I leaned in to kiss him, and he gave me a chaste peck, drawing back as quickly as was polite. I had a bad feeling about all of this. As we entered Port Angeles, I studied his face. What was he thinking? Did he have regrets? No, how could he feel that way, when he so clearly enjoyed the experience as much as I did? I saw his face last night. I heard his words.

I love how wet you are for me, Bella.

I bit my lip, feeling my cheeks warm. Hearing him talk like that was the single most erotic gift I had never thought to ask for. Just thinking about it sent a fluttering sensation in between my legs. I did my best to rein myself in, knowing that if I fantasised too much I would inevitably get wet, and he would know. I didn't want to distract from his surprise with my insatiable arousal.

Once Edward had parked up, I only had eyes for him. Something about the way I was looking at him must have given me away, because his eyes darkened a shade. The moment was broken by the shrill giggling of two women nearby. Edward exited the car, swiftly whipping around to open my door for me. I took his hand, taking pleasure in the shiver his touch sent through me.

I looked up at the row of business across from us. La Bella Italia looked back at me warmly, lit up with twinkly lights, sandwiched cosily in between two other buildings. I smiled widely, immediately understanding.

"I thought it would be nice to return to the place where we had our very first date. That night was very special to me," he murmured tenderly. "I've wanted to bring you back here for a while and I figured it won't be long until human food no longer appeals to you," he chuckled. I could hear that he was trying to keep his voice light, but the undertones of emotion were evident.

I squeezed his stony hand. "It's perfect," I said. "That night was very special to me, too."

His whole face lit up. We walked across to La Bella Italia, hand in hand. "I can remember wishing you would hold my hand that very night," I said. "Look at us now."

He chuckled. "I wanted to touch you constantly. It was rather a chore, trying to keep my hands to myself." He brushed his thumb against mine, tantalizing me as we went inside. I tried to ignore the way his words affected me as we approached the hostess. She looked to be lagging, but as soon as Edward entered her field of vision, she perked right up.

It was like being in a time warp. If Edward's hand wasn't firmly in mine, I would almost believe I had been taken back to those early days. For a moment she said nothing, simply staring at my fiancé with open mouthed astonishment. I had to hide my amusement. I remembered all too well how it felt when I laid eyes on him for the first time.

"I have a table booked for Cullen," Edward informed her politely. She seemed to remember herself and did her best to collect her wits, finally noticing me beside him. I remembered the doubtful way the staff looked at me last time, taking my obvious plain looks into account. This time around, there didn't seem to be the same reaction. Alice had obviously outdone herself.

She quickly seated us in one of the booths, just like last time. I would bet my fancy new Mercedes that he had specifically asked for a booth when he booked the table. We sat across from each other and it wasn't long before our waitress – a different girl from last time – was sashaying across the room towards us. I smirked at Edward. Here we go.

She was already fluttering her lashes at him before she even opened her mouth, licking her lips in hungry anticipation. Although I found the stunned reaction of the hostess funny, a surge of irritation swelled as I witnessed this waitress actively trying to attract my Edward. A primal urge to mark my territory came over me, and I unthinkingly followed an impulse.

I immediately reached out to Edward, who opened his hand to me automatically. Her eyes zeroed on the contact as I trailed my fingers along his palm as sensually as I could, taking my sweet time with it. It drew her attention to my engagement ring and her face fell. Good.

"I'll have a Coke," I said, with all the false confidence I could muster. I wasn't a lamb anymore.

I saw Edward's cheeks lift in the corner of my eye. "Okay, miss. Anything for you, sir?" she wrapped around the word 'sir' like it was a stripper pole.

"Two Cokes," he said, eyes on me. Ah, the nostalgia was delicious. I decided to do one better.

"We won't be needing a menu. I know what I want." I trailed my fingertips up Edward's smooth wrist.

"Yeah?" she muttered petulantly.

"Yeah. I'll have the mushroom ravioli." Edward was grinning at me now. The waitress glanced between us like she was beginning to question our sanity. She turned to him, eager despite her obvious doubts. Edward waved her away. "Nothing for me, thank you."

She hesitated. I gave her a not so subtle look and she scurried off. What has gotten into me?

"That was thoroughly entertaining, Miss Swan," he chuckled, his voice coloured with admiration. "You are full of surprises. I had no idea you could be so commanding."

I blushed. "Me neither. I guess I just don't have much tolerance for attractive waitresses fawning all over my fiancé," I shrugged. He glowed with satisfaction, as he always did when I used the dreaded 'f' word.

"Thank heavens it wasn't a waiter. With the way you look tonight, I might have been compelled to stake my claim." His voice was smooth and dark, like warm honey. His gaze was alight with suggestiveness, and my ever growing desire latched onto it.

"What a pity," I sighed. "That sounds like it could be fun."

His face darkened. "I'd make sure of it."

We watched each other silently, measuring the heat of the moment. I knew exactly what messages my expression and body language were sending, because I could see them reflected back at me in his eyes. I wanted him and I knew he wanted me. There was an undeniable atmosphere of lust, and all I really wanted was to crawl under the table and please him just as he had pleased me.

I hadn't realised how hard my teeth were digging into my lower lip until the waitress unceremoniously slapped our Cokes down on the table. Edward raised a brow as she sauntered off and I giggled. "You will tell me if she spits in my food, won't you?"

"You have my word."

The restaurant was relatively quiet, so it didn't take long for my food to arrive. Edward and I laughed over the nostalgia of it as I ate, sharing our respective memories of that night. He expressed his wonder that I had willingly spent time alone with him, when I knew what he was. "You accepted me," he murmured, awe colouring his tone. "You knew I was a monster, and still you stayed by my side."

"You are not a monster. I could see that, even if you couldn't." I reached over to him, squeezing his hand to emphasise my point. His gaze warmed as he returned the squeeze, ever so gently. I was reminded of his touch last night, the delicate way he handled me. It occurred to me then that we were once again deep into a conversation of his making, stoked by his prompts, filling any and all silences.

Enough was enough. I was growing weary of his evasiveness. We had agreed not only to loosen our boundaries, but also to communicate more openly. After having had our first real sexual encounter last night, surely he had something to say about it?

I opted for playfulness. Maybe I just needed to get the ball rolling, break the ice.

"So," I said, casually sucking a pull of Coke through my straw. "Did last night make it onto your top ten?"

When my query was met with silence, I cast my eyes up from under my lashes. He was eerily still, his stoic gaze giving nothing away. I waited patiently, trying to suppress my negative assumptions about what his unresponsiveness meant.

He recovered himself, wearing a tight smile. I felt a prick of unease as I observed the guardedness in his expression, something unknown lurking in the depths of ochre his eyes. He must have noticed my uncertainty, because he lifted my hand in his to his lips, ghosting them over my knuckles. Despite his tenderness, his voice came out a little rough. "Most definitely."

Then why do I feel like you're running from me?

His gaze lowered from mine as he pressed his lips to my fingers softly, before gently setting my hand back down, on my own side of the table. I looked down at it numbly, wondering what I was missing. Hurt blossomed in my chest, filling me to the brim and threatening to spill over. Why did this feel like rejection?

I looked from my hand up to Edward, unable to adequately clear the confusion from my face. I read the hint of indecision in his gaze for a split second, and then he closed himself up like a book, completely unreadable. I knew it. I knew there was something wrong, and here he was, evading me. My heart sank to the pit of my stomach as my mind finally thought the words that I had been pushing away all night.

He's changed his mind.

I didn't have it in me to demand any answers from him, for fear that he would confirm this. I waved over a different waitress and calmly asked for the cheque. I did my best to ignore the hurt and disappointment I was feeling. I just needed to get home.

After we settled the bill, I half expected him to ask me what was wrong. It was clear that he was well aware and avoiding all conversation. I observed the wall he had put between us diligently, ducking away from his touch as he opened the door for me to leave. I didn't wait for him to open the car door for me. I just kept my eyes on my lap as he slowly made his way to his side.

He started the engine, and in the corner of my eye I noticed him hesitate, torn. "Just take me home," I muttered. Whatever he had to say, I didn't want to hear it. I knew what was coming. He had regrets and now he intended to regress back to our virtuous ideals. I could not help but take it to heart. Was I so undesirable? What had I done wrong? His only stipulations were avoiding sex and keeping me safe, and I didn't have a scratch on me. At no point did I feel like we had even come close to losing control, so what in the world had caused him put the brakes on overnight?

As he drove us out of Port Angeles, the starless night sky bathed us in darkness, away from all of the city lights. I kept my eyes trained on the blurring trees as we sped towards home. The silence was deafening, and I longed to go back to the previous night, untainted by Edward's new, inexplicable change of heart. I had felt so safe, so secure in his capable hands. The way he had looked at me while he touched me hadn't left room for any doubt: he revelled in my pleasure. This didn't make sense.

As I listened to his quiet breathing, something unseen fizzled on the surface of my skin, a tingling buzz that commanded my attention. I was abruptly transported to a memory, once again feeling a sense of déjà vu on this very strange day. I was back in biology, seated in the dark with Edward while some educational film flickered dim light against us. That was the first time our intense chemistry came to life, a palpable electrical pull charging the hollow space between us. It was a familiar sensation, I knew it well. It was reignited now, forcefully magnetic in the dark.

Things had changed so much since then, especially with last night's tryst. It was as though the fabric of our relationship had been woven with a different kind of thread, and there was no undoing it, regardless of his reservations. The urge to reach for him was difficult to suppress, and when I allowed myself to glance at him, one arm was resting on his thigh. As I observed the tautness of his arm, I realised that 'resting' was perhaps the wrong word – straining seemed better suited. I watched covertly from behind the curtain of my hair as his fingers closed into a tight fist, skin stretching over bone. Was he feeling it too?

At that moment, with the memory of his fingers deep inside me fresh on my mind, I didn't care that Edward was clearly at war with himself. I didn't care that we weren't speaking and I didn't care that I was hurt. All I wanted was to follow the thread, go with my instincts, and get as close to him as was physically possible. There was an elephant in the room, and it was our mutual attraction. It demanded to be felt by us. It demanded to be acted upon.

My heart was thrumming as I purposefully turned to look up at him, taking in the tortured expression on his beautiful face. He mirrored me, his eyes constricted with something I couldn't comprehend. I unleashed every bit of my lust into the look I gave him, taking the risk, communicating my need. The whole night had been tinged with undertones of blatant desire, and I was done smothering it. I let my lustful gaze travel along the strong frame of his body, noticing the increasing tension in his muscles, quickly drawn to his lap, where his erection was visibly straining against his pants.

I blew out a breath, burning in the heat of my own desire, and was immediately wet. I closed my eyes as the ache between my legs increased to the point of pain. I heard a low hiss, and then jerked a little in my seat as though we had swerved. My eyes snapped open to see that we were pulling over onto the roadside, in the middle of nowhere.

My head spun dizzily as Edward reached for me, easily putting me in his lap so that I was straddling him. It only took a moment for me to realize what was happening. We both moaned in unison as we collided, lips mashing together, hands everywhere. As our kiss deepened, I deliberately ground myself against his hardness, revelling in the sound of his gasp against my lips. Edward's cool hands travelled from my hair, stroking down the length of my back, finally settling on my ass. He used his hands to rock me against him again, using his hips to grind against me so that I really felt the length of him.

He held me so that he could tilt me back slightly; using the position to press icy, open mouthed kisses along my collarbone. When his lips found my cleavage, I had the presence of mind to remember that I wasn't wearing a bra. Before he could even dare to stop me, I pulled down the front of my playsuit, freeing my breasts. There was no objection, he simply hummed his approval and continued. I raked my fingers through his hair, holding on as he used his tongue on me. I moaned, my back arching, pressing myself against his lips. I heard and felt his resonating growl against my sensitive skin, which only stoked the fires of my arousal.

"I want you," I whimpered, so quietly that only a vampire could catch it. I kept rocking against him, feeling him get impossibly harder each time my centre came into contact with him.

I gasped in shock when he flung his door open; curling me protectively in his arms as he lifted me out of the car. I wrapped my legs around his waist to keep myself from falling as he opened the passenger door to the backseat, only releasing them once he laid me down there. I leaned on my elbows to watch him as he joined me, closing the door behind him. His eyes were ravenous as he drank me in, splayed half naked on the back seat, gasping for breath. I briefly wondered if I looked ridiculous, but the look on his face told me he didn't think so.

Although I wasn't strong enough to pull him down to me, he felt the intention within my grip and complied willingly. I wrapped my legs around his hips, and when he resumed that incredible dance between us, I bit my lip to quieten myself. Through hooded eyes I watched as he brought his thumb to my chin, pulling my lip free. "Don't," he urged. "I want to hear you, Bella."

My mouth fell open at his words, but he was otherwise occupied with my clothes. He wasted no time in tugging my playsuit down the length of my legs, trailing his fingertips along my skin as he went. I could hardly stand it, the immense pleasure coupled with tauntingly soft touch. He slipped the article over my shoes, leaving them on. I didn't have it in me to be embarrassed by my loud, frantic breaths as Edward hooked my ankles over his shoulders, placing more feather-light kisses against my skin.

He began his torturous journey on the inner part of my ankle, gently clasping his hand around my high heeled foot as he pressed his smooth lips on that sensitive little spot. I could feel my panties getting soaked through as he trailed his lips higher and higher, his eyes pitch black against the white of his beautiful face. His lips came closer and closer to my centre, and my heart was trying to jump out my chest as writhed. I watched in aroused disbelief as he wickedly returned his lips to my other ankle, starting the entire process all over again. His breathing was as ragged as my own as his lips once again came close to my panties. I whimpered, desperately clutching the leather interior, enraptured by the unbelievable sight before me.

And then he pressed his lips against the centre of my panties. He nudged his nose against my clit, inhaling deeply. I moaned loudly, barely able to stop myself from grinding into his kiss. When he spoke, his voice was like liquid velvet between my legs.

"When it's safe, I am going to make you come with my tongue."

Oh. My. God!

His words made my toes curl, and fresh rush of wetness flooded into my panties, right where his lips were. He groaned, closing his eyes for a moment, opening them to give me a look so raw, so hungry that I could only stare back. He pulled away slowly, reluctantly, and as he hooked his fingers around my panties I saw him lick his lips. Before I could process how much the sight turned me on, Edward had me completely naked. I readily accepted his kiss, while he wasted no time in exploring me with his fingers, moaning quietly as he did. He teased me for a moment, brushing against my clit, circling my entrance lightly.

"Edward," I panted. "In...inside please."

His breathing was ragged in my ear. He wasted no time in granting my request, easily sliding two fingers inside me. The sound that escaped me should have been embarrassing, but I couldn't stop myself as he repeated that same technique from last night, curling his fingers upward. It felt so good that all I could do was moan over and over while he pleasured me. His eyes were almost wild as he watched me, watched his fingers work their magic.

It wasn't long before I could feel it, that twisting, tensing rise in every bit of me. My orgasm was building, bunching my insides tightly, getting ready to release the most intense pleasure. My legs shook and trembled, and I could feel myself getting wetter against Edward's insistent fingers. I heard a deep growl rumbling and gathering deep in his chest as he brought me closer to the edge.

"Oh, Edward," I whimpered. "I-I'm gonna..."

"Do it, Bella," he growled darkly, bringing his thumb to my clit.

I cried out, writhing helplessly against him as the unbelievable pleasure took me. He held me as I came down from my orgasm. Once I had come back to earth, I opened my eyes to see him gazing at me in wonder.

"I will never tire of making you do that," he whispered. His eyes were wild. I had fully come to, and ran my gaze over him. How the hell had I ended up naked and coming, when he was still fully clothed?

My turn.

I clumsily got myself to my knees, ducking in the tight space of the back seat. I reached for Edward's face, hungrily capturing his lips in mine. Our tongues danced for a moment as I let my fingers drift up his thigh, feeling him stiffen against me as my hand searched the front of his pants, feeling his erection.

And then I was abruptly seated on the other side of the car, as far from Edward as the small space permitted. Confused, my eyes found his in the dark, and the perfection of his face was marred by an expression that made no sense to me. Here I was, about to return my pleasure, and he looked horrified. He immediately rearranged his features, shutting himself away from me, just as he had earlier.

"I'm sorry," he said.

I shook my head, perplexed. Hurt seeped into my voice. "What's wrong, Edward? What did I do wrong?"

He shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut. "No, no, you've done nothing wrong. It's me."

"I just wanted t-"

He interrupted me with a pleading look. "I'm sorry," he said again, but this time with an air of finality. "I don't this is working. I feel completely out of control."

I frowned, suddenly feeling exposed in my nudity. I crossed my arms over my breasts. I had thrown myself into this was so much enthusiasm, and here he was, having doubts.

"I don't understand, Edward. You seemed in plenty control to me. All I did was try to touch you and you-"

"We agreed that if I felt this was too risky, we would stop." His voice had a sharp edge to it. He kept his face turned down, away from me. My eyes were wet with inexplicable tears and I knew that they weren't just from the pain of rejection. I was angry. He was lying to me. I could feel it.

Afraid I would say something I'd regret, I snatched up my playsuit and got out of the car. I was so upset that I didn't even bother with the fact that I was stark naked out in the open. I tugged my outfit back on and got back into the front seat.

"Please don't be angry with me," he whispered, already in the driver's seat. I ignored him, knowing that if I opened my mouth, the tears would flow.

As he drove me home, I tried not to think about what the truth of this was. I just watched the trees go by, waiting for him to say something. Waiting for him to make this right.

...

Oh Edward, so complicated. Let me know what you guys think!