A/N: RAVEN BOYS WAAAAAAHHHH *ahem*

Ravens Don't Babysit

"A walk," Ronan scoffed. "Sure, take it for a walk. But that means someone's gotta pick that thing up." He glared at Gansey, booted feet firmly planted on either side of Adam. It's not going to be me, his posture screamed.

Gansey's regard flicked to Blue.

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Don't even think about bringing gender roles into this." Her hand hovered over the pocket Gansey knew secreted her pink switchblade.

Gansey chewed hard on his mint leaf. "You're right; being a woman has nothing to do with being good with children." Blue's eyes went wide, glaring at him. Ronan smirked. "That is, just because you're female doesn't mean you know how to— should have to—" He begged Ronan silently for help.

"Go on, Dick," Ronan said. "Should have to what?"

Noah had faded away, and not for the first time Gansey wished he too could be ether.

"Should have to come with me as I take this child on a walk," he said finally, scooping the screaming kid up under its arms. He dangled it in front of him, a thick line of drool dangling in turn from its chin. "Right. Here we go. Two hours."

The door burst open again and Henry strode through, an overstuffed purple bag slung across his chest. "Paternal instincts developing beautifully, Gansey," he said, slinging the bag into the floor.

"Has it been two hours already?" Gansey asked hopefully, still holding his human bundle aloft.

"Good Lord, no. Maybe five minutes. Put that thing down, it seemed quieter on the floor of my car."

"You drove here with the kid on the floor?" Blue gasped, moving to sit behind it.

Henry laughed explosively but didn't answer. Blue looked worriedly at Gansey, her mouth moving: He didn't right? Gansey shrugged. Blue rolled her eyes.

"Thirteen," Adam said, studying the flash card in his hand.

Gansey sat the kid down, wiping his hands on his pants. Blue handed him another mint leaf. "Well then. Five minutes."

"Thirteen," Adam said again.

Gansey looked sideways at him. "Henry man, what do you suggest?" he said.

Henry shrugged. Blue took a mint leaf for herself.

"He's been here thirteen minutes," Adam said, picking up another flash card. "Not five."

"How can you possibly hear with that blasting your brains?" Blue asked. Adam shrugged, his shoulders rubbing an immensely proud-looking Ronan's knees.

"Five, thirteen: we need a plan if we are to survive," Gansey said.

Henry snapped his fingers, pointing hand guns made of hands at Gansey. "Good man, keep the aim low. Survive, not thrive. So, what does the Cabinet suggest?"

"You taking your rando drool bucket back and disappearing," Ronan said.

"I'm afraid that's not an option," Henry said with a smile. "His dad is gone."

Ronan and Adam stiffened. Gansey realized something about Ronan, about Adam, and about himself in that moment.

"To the store," Henry clarified, clearing the darkness from the air.

"Right," he said. "Well then. A walk?"

Blue sat on the floor, the neon green sports jersey she'd cut the sides out and retied with vibrant orange ribbon distracting the kid. It stopped crying and stared wide-eyed at her shirt.

"Ronan," she said, plucking the front of her shirt to make it move. The toddler cooed, but it's pink and puffy eyes screamed how close it stayed to a meltdown. "Surely you have something."

Adam's fingers pressed lightly on Ronan's shin. Ronan stood with a scowl, whacking Adam's head with his leg as he stepped over him. "Maybe. Don't count on it." He stalked to his room and slammed the door.

Gansey threw his arms in the air. "Great. Very helpful." The toddler scooted closer to Blue, climbing into her lap to ball her shirt in tiny grubby fists. She poked it gently on the side of its head, a small smile on her face. The toddler looked up at her and lunged suddenly for a pink butterfly clip. Blue shrieked as it ripped out clip and hair. The toddler fell backwards, startled. The sudden thump scared it into a full-blown tantrum, a mini-Henry or Henrietta made of flailing arms. tears and snot.

"Ronan!" Blue called. "Quickly, please."

Ronan didn't answer, but Noah did. He appeared at Blue's side, then vanished. The toddler blinked, confused out of its tantrum by the flicker of skin and color.

"Boo," Noah whispered, materializing right next to the baby's face. Blue grimaced and Gansey prepped a scolding but the baby giggled. Bright, chesty joyful noise making a snot bubble fill and burst.

Noah grinned and disappeared again. The baby's smile wavered; fell. He fell backwards to the floor in a dramatic tantrum. Noah met him there, thrashing and rolling about with a distorted looseness to his movements. For a sickening moment Gansey thought they'd lost him to his death and stepped forward to grab the baby but then Noah froze, arms splayed— and the baby cooed. Gansey rocked back on his heels, transfixed by the otherworldly game of peekaboo unfolding before him.

"It makes a certain twisted sense that the best surrogate parent among us is the dead one," Henry remarked.

Blue wrapped her arms around herself. Gansey sat down beside her, his eyes still on Noah's game, his arms draped protectively around Blue. She was chill to his touch; he nuzzled her ear, whispering, "How long?"

Blue shrugged. "Not sure. He's pulling a lot of energy to do this. But look," she said, cocking her head at the pair on the floor before her as Noah burst into view in front of the toddler. "He's so happy."

Gansey didn't have to ask her which one she meant. His laughter filled the room, more lasting than his form as he flickered back out again.

Henry settled onto the couch with a comment about the luxury of owning truly vintage furniture, "nothing could mimic the way the springs jab you in the ass." He pulled out his phone and restarted the Final Fantasy VII game walkthrough he'd been bugging Gansey about for days. Blue leaned back against Gansey's chest, her foot stretched out just far enough to Noah to touch each time he materialized. Gansey buried his face in her short hair, his nose rubbing against a shiny turquoise turtle clip holding up the wisp of hair beside her ear.

Time passed quietly, punctuate by giggles. Blue shivered, leaning farther back into Gansey.

"Your lips match your name," Adam said.

Noah's smile was soft as he patted Blue's ankle then disappeared. The toddler sat, chubby arms waving, staring at the spot where Noah had been. Adam stretched his legs out. The toddler looked about, rocked forward on his hands and knees-- and screamed.

"Richard man," Henry said, his phone still chattering away about Cloud Strife in a dress but his eyes on the cherubic screecher, "Plan B?"

Blue turned slightly so her cheek pressed against Gansey's chest, her hair tickling his chin. She yawned and pulled her legs up. Gansey smiled at Henry around his lower lip, snagged between teeth.

"Right," Henry said, shoving his phone in his pocket. "My lead. Do we have any sustenance on here? Something more nourishing than week-old crust?"

"Should be some hamburger buns in the kitchen," Gansey offered.

Henry's bottom lip stuck out but he nodded and strode off. The toddler pushed up on its stocky little legs and chased unsteadily after Henry.

"Thirty," Adam said.

"Minutes?" Blue said into Gansey's chest. "Or units of something."

"Minutes," Adam said.

Blue nodded. Gansey thought it may take Henry that long just to find the hamburger buns, if they were lucky. He could hear pots and pans banging in the kitchen, reassuring him that Henry was on completely the wrong track. The crying grew and faded as the toddler chased Henry around the kitchen, closer and farther from the door. A minute or so passed and Henry emerged, the toddler on his shoulders and his magnificent hair flattened. Gansey stifled a laugh. Adam didn't.

"Couldn't find buns. Did find a set of clean wooden utensils, however. Hopefully clean, at least," he finished as the toddler whacked him in the face with a spoon.

"Genius. You weaponized the twat," Ronan said, emerging from his room. "Give it to me." He walked over and pulled the child down off Henry's shoulders, blocking a wooden spoon attack with one hand as he settled the kid onto his hip. Adam slid off his headphones.

The child stared at Ronan, eyes wide, bottom lip quavering as Ronan stared back. He reached a long, pale finger up and bonked the kid on the nose. "Jackass," he said. The toddler blinked. Grinned. Ronan reached into his back pocket and pulled something out, holding it in his loosely closed fist.

Adam stood slowly, flashcards sifting off his lap to the floor like falling snow. Gansey rubbed Blue's shoulder, silently pointing for her to look up.

Ronan held his hand up, letting the toddler unwrap his fingers one by one until his palm lay open. A butterfly quivered there, bright wings folded tightly. Ronan whispered in the toddler's ear, the blow of breath and soft words making the child giggle with delight. The butterfly's wings opened at the sound, their crystal patterns filling the room with an effervescent glow of reflected light. The toddler clapped, shoving against Ronan to be set down. He chased after the butterfly, it's pace just slow enough to be followed but just quick enough to stay ever out of reach.

Blue and Gansey gazed in wonder at the lights dancing on their ceiling.

Adam gazed in wonder at Ronan.

"Aurora borealis," Henry breathed.

"Auror-up your ass-is," Ronan said, clearly pleased with himself. "Who's the best babysitter now?"