Cullen's hands were balled into fists as he leaned over his desk and stared at the lyrium vials. He hadn't taken lyrium for several weeks now but for some reason, today was harder to resist than most. Part of him knew that he would be more efficient for the inquisition with the lyrium in his veins, but the thought of turning into a red templar if the substance was corrupted was more than he could bear.

The thought of the empty look in the eyes of the red templars at Haven was all that made him resist it right now. He held his hands up bore his face and saw them shaking. He needed something to distract him from the withdrawal.

"Cullen?".

He swore under his breath and turned around. He hadn't even heard the heavy door to his study open. The inquisitor was standing in the doorway, halfway into his study, with an uncertain look in her eyes.

"Inquisitor". He sighed and wiped his brow with the back of his hand in embarrassment. The last person in the world he wanted to see him in his weak state was her. He turned around to face his desk again, cursing his bad luck that she had chosen this moment to walk in. "What can I do for you?".

"What's wrong?". He heard her walk up behind him and stop next to him. He kept staring at the vials, knowing she would be seeing them too.

She didn't say anything, but he could feel her hand coming to rest on his shoulder. He sighed.

"Are you in pain?". She sounded so concerned, and that made it worse than the pain itself. He didn't want her to think that he was weak.

"I can manage". He said it rather curtly but really hoped that she wouldn't take her hand away.

She didn't. She stepped closer and he could feel the heat from her body even with the fabric of their clothes in between them. Her hand moved from his shoulder across his neck and came to rest at his other shoulder, pressing her body against his own.

"I wish I could make this easier for you". Her voice was little more than a whisper but he clearly heard every word. One part of his brain noticed that his attention was not focused on the vials of lyrium anymore. He was standing very still so as to not make her move. They had never been this close to each other before.

"You are". His voice sounded more husky than he had intended.

The inquisitor was a formidable woman; beautiful and deadly. Yet he had never tried to catch her attention as he had seen some of the other inquisition members do. He didn't have any illusions about what they had to face and knew that there was no place for personal feelings. Yet he couldn't bring himself to walk away now that she was standing so close.

She reached up and turned his face towards her. He looked into those brilliant green eyes that seemed to be searching his own grey ones for something. Whatever it was, she seemed to have found it, as she leaned forward and pressed her lips against his.

Time seemed to have stopped. Cullen's mind had gone completely blank and the only thing that seemed important was to not break the contact between them. Without thinking, he turned around and faced her, grabbing her shoulders with both his hands and pressing them closer together while keeping his mouth locked on hers. Her hands travelled around his back and held him just as firmly against her.

Cullen could feel her mouth opening slightly and, without thinking, he opened his mouth to let their tongues meet. A burning sensation started building in the pit of his stomach as their tongues danced around each other, warm and moist. His hands were roaming up and down her back, not knowing where to settle. He wanted to feel more of her against him, wanted to be even closer.

A quiet moan escaped her mouth and Cullen walked her backwards so that her back came to rest against the wall, and pressed himself against her. The kisses started getting rougher and more passionate and their breathing was getting heavier. Her hands grabbed the clasps of his cloak to unfastened it, and a second later he could feel it fall to the floor behind him. Her hands then moved to his tunic and continued further down, to his belt. She tugged on his belt, making her wish easy to understand. A small voice in his head told him that this was not a good idea and they should stop this. Cullen knew that the voice was right, but he couldn't bring himself to stop. The feel of her lips and body against his had chased all thoughts of reason and self-control from his mind.

He broke off the kiss and took a step backwards to quickly drag the tunic over his head as she did the same. His hands fumbled with his belt and finally got his trousers off. He looked up at her and saw that she was already naked. His eyes roamed over her body just as eagerly as her eyes did to him. One step and he was pressed against her again, and no fabric in between them this time. His hands found her hips and he could feel her hands digging into his back, pressing her even more firmly against him. His lips left her mouth to kiss his way down her neck.

"Maker's breath, you're so beautiful". His voice sounded so husky that he didn't recognize it himself. He thought for a fleeting second hat they should try to move this up the ladder to his bed, but the urgency of the situation made the thought vanish. He couldn't wait that long.

She moaned as he kissed the nape of her neck and with one smooth motion, he lifted her up and sat her down on the desk. She wrapped her legs around him, and his throbbing erection was pressed up against her, creating a wet patch on her lower belly.

She reached down and grabbed his member, making him take a sharp intake of breath. She guided him towards her wet opening and with one push, he was buried inside her. Cullen couldn't help the moan that escaped him as his whole length was sheathed deep inside her with the tight, moist walls pressing against him from all angles. He moved instinctively, grabbing her to hold her in place and rocked his hips against her. He tried to stay at a slower pace but his hips seemed to be moving without his consent. By the sound of her ragged breaths and the moans that she was making, he could tell that she didn't object. He couldn't slow down even if he'd wanted to.

He could feel the tension building in his groin and knew he couldn't hold out much longer. His upper body was slick with sweat and so were her thighs, making less frictions as their bodies moved against each other. He put one hand in between them to stroke her, hoping he could somehow send her over the edge before he came himself. Her moans got louder, encouraging him to stroke her faster and with more pressure.

She had her hands behind her on the desk and leaned her head backwards as she made sounds of pleasure. He stared at her and tried to get one part of his muddled brain to focus on the view in front of him and take it in, so he could remember it forever.

Cullen had trouble coordinating his hands as his climax came closer but desperately tried to keep his hand and hips moving at the same pace. Finally, her whole body shuddered as she made a high-pitched noise, something in between a moan and a yell, and came. He could feel her inner walls clamping down on his length and the tension inside him became too much. He grabbed her hips with both his hands and rocked against her at a furious pace for a few seconds, before burying himself deep inside her as his release washed over him. He held his eyes closed and himself still inside her as wave after wave of pleasure coursed through his body.

When he came to, their mingled heavy breathing was the only sound in the small study. He opened his eyes and saw her lying down on her back against his desk, scrolls and bits of parchment strewn all around her. She opened her eyes and looked back at him, smiling contently. He smiled back and, even though he didn't really want to, pulled himself out of her.

He went to the small wash basin in the corner of the room to clean himself and heard her getting up from the desk. The reality of what they had done started coming back to him and he could feel the old worries starting to gnaw at him again. He would be lying if he said that he hadn't thought about the inquisitor in this way before, but he should never have acted on it. If the thoughts of the lyrium didn't muddle his brains enough, the thoughts about her definitely would after this. Cullen squeezed the washcloth hard until all the water was seeping out from it.

She walked up to him and put her arms around his waist and pressed her mouth against his sweaty back.

"Stop worrying so much". He could feel her smile against his back. "I thought it was a good distraction".

He relaxed his muscles under her touch and took a deep breath. She seemed to have a calming effect on him.

"Come on". She tugged on his arm and led him towards the ladder. "Let's go lie down for a bit".

Cullen smiled and followed her. Maybe a distraction like her was just what he needed.