The disclaimer telling you that I don't own any Archer characters has run off to Hollywood. Just some more madness from my tiny mind on how Pam and Cheryl could have made money in California. Think about it. It's plausible. Those two are…

Just A Couple Of Characters

"Seriously Cyril?" Lana sighed as she sat down in the bullpen with Krieger and Ray. "Another pointless meeting?"

"It's not pointless Lana!" Cyril snapped. "This is a very important meeting concerning our financial situation."

"That's what almost all our meetings are about," Ray told him. "Well except for the odd intervention." He and Lana looked at Krieger.

"I haven't raped any food for over five years and you know it!" Krieger shouted.

"And every single one of those meetings," Lana spoke up. "Has devolved into something completely stupid. Every. Single. One."

"Not every single one!" Cyril defended. "Okay I admit nine times out of ten. But the tenth one isn't completely stupid!"

"He's right," Ray remarked. "The tenth one is unbelievably stupid!"

"This meeting isn't going to be stupid!" Cyril snapped.

"Want to bet?" Ray quipped.

"Even money," Lana nodded.

"This meeting will not be stupid," Cyril protested. "Speaking of which where are Cheryl and Pam? They're the ones who said they had an idea for making more money."

"The odds for stupidity just went even higher," Ray said dryly.

"99.9 percent," Lana folded her arms.

"This is not going to be a stupid meeting!" Cyril shouted. "Pam! Cheryl! Where are you?"

"We're here! We're coming!" Pam's muffled voice was heard. "Phrasing!"

Just then two costumed characters walked into the room. One looked like a pink Minnie Mouse with blue eyes and a purple dress and bow. The other looked like a green Scrooge McDuck wearing an orange outfit and top hat.

"You're right Cyril," Ray remarked. "This isn't going to be a stupid meeting. This is going to be one of those unbelievably stupid ones!"

"Called it," Lana smirked.

"What in animation hell is this?" Cyril shouted.

"Our new idea!" Pam grinned as she took off the duck head. "You know how people dress up like celebrities and famous cartoon characters on Hollywood Boulevard?"

"Dear God I see where this is going," Cyril moaned.

"Right into a courthouse," Lana groaned. "You guys can't go out and let people take pictures of you for money!"

Cheryl took off her mouse head. "Well we already did so…Technically we can."

"You two went out there dressed up like Disney characters on acid?" Krieger asked. "Now why didn't I think of that?"

"No," Cheryl took off her costume. "I'm Muffy Mouse and Pam is Grandpa Mac Stingyfeathers."

"Totally different," Pam nodded.

"Not that different," Ray remarked.

"Great," Cyril groaned. "Now we're going to get sued for copyright infringement!"

"Put it on the growing list of all the other illegal things we've done," Ray told him.

"Hey you wanted a creative way for us to make money for this agency?" Pam snapped as she shed her costume, revealing her bra and panties. "We found one!"

"Man, these costumes are hot as balls," Cheryl did the same. "I mean it's fun walking around in them. And I got felt up three times. Bonus!"

"How much did you get?" Lana asked.

"About seven hundred and fifty bucks," Pam said as she pulled out some cash from a hidden compartment in her costume. "By the way, if a group of Michael Jackson impersonators comes by, we were here all day."

"What?" Ray gasped.

"Where do you think the extra five hundred and thirty dollars we got came from?" Cheryl asked.

"You stole from a group of Michael Jackson impersonators?" Lana was stunned.

"Among other things," Cheryl shrugged.

"What did you do?" Cyril snapped. "So that I can prepare an adequate defense!"

"Well…" Pam paused.

"What?" Cyril snapped.

Cheryl spoke up. "You know how Michael Jackson's hair caught on fire during that Pepsi commercial?"

"Oh, dear God you didn't?!" Ray's jaw dropped.

"Relax," Cheryl waved. "I only did it to the white guy. Who by the way looked nothing like Michael Jackson. Well maybe after he gets plastic surgery?"

"Sounded like him but didn't look like him," Pam said.

"Especially at the end with the high notes," Cheryl giggled.

"Oh lord…" Ray groaned.

"That part was not my idea," Pam said. "Stealing the money while everyone was distracted was!"

"But they soon noticed," Cheryl admitted. "It is not easy to run in a costume let me tell you."

"Harder to drive in a stolen ice cream truck for a getaway," Pam nodded.

"You stole an ice cream truck?" Lana was shocked.

"Technically the word is carjacked," Cheryl corrected. "That's what that guy in the back kept saying."

"He got real quiet when we got to the freeway and accidentally sideswiped that Mercedes," Pam said.

"Of course, you did," Cyril's eye began to twitch.

"Don't worry," Cheryl said. "He was like eighty and thought we were both dudes. And when he passed out we stopped and put him on a lawn somewhere."

"We also ran over somebody's lawn," Pam added. "Well technically three lawns. Boy that one gardener was really pissed."

"How did the cops not catch you?" Ray asked.

"Well for starters that minor three car pileup I caused was a pretty good distraction," Pam said. "And we managed to ditch the ice cream truck when we crashed it into a closed strip club. But don't worry! We got a cooler full of stolen ice cream in the back!"

"Lucky Pam was able to hot wire this other car so we could get away," Cheryl added.

"You stole another vehicle?" Cyril's jaw dropped.

"It wasn't easy wearing those mittens that came with the costume," Pam said. "Don't worry we ditched the car when we crashed it into that empty building down the block. We took the back alleys to get here so I'm pretty sure nobody saw us. I think."

"Let me recap," Cyril took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "While dressed up as illegal cartoon characters, you two committed arson and assault, stole money and ice cream, carjacked someone, stole two vehicles, caused a traffic accident as well as massive property damage…"

"I also ran a red light," Pam added. "That's what caused the three-car pileup."

"Massive driving violations," Cyril winced. "Anything else?"

Cheryl thought. "We ran over either a very small dog or a very large rat. I think it was a rat."

"It had a freaking collar!" Pam snapped. "And that rich looking lady was screaming bloody murder at us! It had to be a dog!"

"So, we can add canine homicide to the list," Ray quipped.

"I think it's technically animal cruelty," Lana corrected him.

Krieger remarked. "The copyright infringement does seem a little tame compared to that,doesn't it Cyril?"

"Not if Disney's lawyers track us down!" Cyril snapped.

"Aren't we already owned by Disney?" Cheryl asked.

Lana realized something. "You're talking about that imaginary TV show you think you're a part of, aren't you?"

"Don't engage her," Ray sighed. "I'm more worried about the cops tracking us down."

"Not if we get rid of the evidence," Krieger told him.

"On it," Cheryl pulled out a lighter from somewhere and before anyone could stop her set fire to the costumes.

FOOOM!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!" Cyril screamed as the costumes blazed up instantly. "CHERYL!"

"On it!" Ray shouted as he used his bionic legs to get to and grab the nearest fire extinguisher. He put it out quickly.

"Murderer!" Cheryl stomped her foot.

"Dog murderer," Ray looked at her.

"You nearly murdered us!" Lana snapped.

"One can dream…" Cyril muttered under his breath.

"What did you say?" Lana looked at him.

"I said what a scheme…" Cyril covered.

"That's not what you said," Cheryl said. "I heard you say…"

"Shut up, you insane arsonist!" Cyril shouted. "You nearly burned us all to death!"

"Man," Pam looked at the pile of ashes. "Those cheap ass costumes are really flammable, aren't they?"

"Why do you think I wanted to dress up in them?" Cheryl asked.

"Once again, another stupid meeting comes to a close," Lana drawled. "And ends pretty much like all the other ones."

"With violence, criminal charges and an arson incident?" Ray asked. "Oh, dear God that is how almost all our meetings end!"

"No more schemes!" Cyril shouted at Pam and Cheryl. "You Not So Dynamic Dumbasses!"

"They're a couple of characters," Krieger quipped. Everyone else glared at him. "Too soon?"