Trigger Warning:

- Bullying

- Suicidal Thoughts

- Nervous Breakdown

"Mom, one day I'm going to have a super awesome power like All Might, right?" The young Midoriya looked up at his mother, both of them watching the All Might rescue video for about the millionth time. She looked down and gave him the warmest smile, put her hand on his head and gently stroked his curly hair.

"Of course," she started to say, holding her son tightly. "you're going to be the greatest hero who ever lived!" Izuku turned from his mother and looked back at the screen. Not wanting to look away any longer than he had to. He had an All Might action figure in each hand, and moments like these filled his heart with hope and light for the future.

...

It's a shame it didn't last.

...

"Sorry kid, it's not gonna happen." This was the first thing that had ever been burned into Izuku's memory. "Sorry kid, it's not gonna happen." The way the doctor said it was so plain, so matter of fact, so simple; yet the effects the words had were anything but. Izuku couldn't move, he could barely breathe. The room around him got blurry, and the sound of the doctor's office was replaced with the pounding of static. Izuku looked around the room, at his mother. Tears began to form in his eyes as he felt his body grow stiff. Every fiber in his being had given up, and at age five, this was a lot to process.

When Izuku got home that day he sank into the sofa and just stared off into the distance. His mother looked at him with a deep concern.

"Izuku, please honey… say something…" She sat down next to him and put her hand on his head, running it through his curly hair. Izuku's head slowly turned to look at his mom, tears rolling down his face. He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out, just whimpers and moans of sorrow. He quickly leaned into his mother, holding her tighter then he'd ever held someone. It was a good few minutes until the words finally reached Izuku's mouth.

"M..mom- can… can I ever be a hero?" The words dripped from his mouth like the last few drops of rain after a storm. There was a stark silence before his mother said anything, and for Izuku, this felt like forever.

"Son, I… I don't know." She said, holding him tighter. The rain storm that was Izuku's mind didn't clear, but it stopped raining. The clouds just stayed there, motionless. The landscape was covered in darkness, and Izuku didn't know the next time the sun would shine.

...

I wish she had said nothing; it might not have affected me as much.

...

Izuku stayed home for the next few days, his mother telling preschool that he was sick, and for all intents and purposes, he was. Izuku's mother had a child psychologist stop by, taking a look at him. She didn't know what exactly they talked about, but the doctor came out and looked at the mother, his face in a frown.

"Midoriya-san, I'm sorry. He's not doing the best right now." After hearing this, tears rolled down her face; she didn't want to think about what is going through Izuku's head right now. It's not often that a child's dream is crushed so thoroughly. "But don't look so down. After talking with him, I think your son should make a full recovery. He might go through life with a different attitude, but right now are some of the most important times in determining the personality of someone. If you show him the right support and nudge him, I'm sure he will turn out an amazing person, quirk or not." She nodded her head slowly after hearing this. "Just make sure that both his life at home and at school is good. I'm sure he'll turn out fine."

...

My school life being fine? Fat chance.

...

Later that month Izuku was at school hanging out with Bakugou and his friends. He had a strong admiration for Bakugou and his quirk. Explosions could be used to fill the world with such good. He kept rattling off all of the uses for it in his head; destroying rubble, deflecting attacks, propulsion, shooting projectiles, and so many combat purposes. He would often ask his blond-haired friend about what he envisioned using his quirk for.

"Silly Deku, I would use it to beat the villains to a pulp!" That was Bakugou's usual answer. However, answers like that always made Izuku pause for thought, even at his young age. There was so much more one could use that quirk for; in fact when they were both around the age of seven, Izuku wrote a five page pamphlet about all the uses and applications he could think of for Bakugou. It contained detailed strategies (for a seven year old) and situational applications. It even outlined possible flaws of his quirk.

While Bakugou was reading it his expression was one of happiness until he reached that last section. This was the first time that Izuku did anything but praise his friend. Bakugou's face turned sour, and what could be considered a sneer started to go across his face. This was also around the same point that it was revealed that Izuku was quirkless, and for the most part no one really brought it up. Well, until now.

"Listen here, Deku." Bakugou spat out, each word carrying with it the same power as one of his smaller explosions. "I do not have any weaknesses." Bakugou reached out and grabbed the poor Izuku by the collar of his shirt, pushing him back until he was pressed against the wall.

"I-I'm sorry, Kacchan..."

"Do not call me by that weak-ass name anymore." Bakugou's face looked intense as he said this. Sure, Bakugou had a short fuse (this fact was even in the weaknesses section), but this was nothing that Izuku or anyone else had really seen before. "I will not allow quirkless squirt Deku to call me, someone who will one day be the number one hero, anything less than the best." Bakugou's grip tightened around Izuku's shirt. It was that day that Izuku learned that Bakugou sweats more when he's angry; drips and drops of sweat fell from his fist and landed on Izuku's chest. He whimpered and winced in pain as tiny blasts went off on his skin.

"Kac-... Katsuki-chan, let go please… You're hurting me." Izuku managed to say, finally getting over his nerves. What happened next was the second thing that was burned into Izuku's memory. That smile, that rotten smile. Bakugou looked happy that he was doing this; Izuku was at eye level to him, and his expression sent a bolt of fear throughout his body. He dropped the boy soon after though; it was time for class to resume. Bakugou looked back at Izuku with a glare, and Izuku found himself flinching. Bakugou smiled before turning away.

...

That marked the change in Kacchan, or Katsuki-sama as he forced me to call him.

...

When Izuku was 14 and finishing up middle school, he and Bakugou's relationship was strained to the point of snapping. Bakugou would call Izuku "Deku" most of the time but when he was particularly upset he would call him "Quirkless" or "Squirt." Unfortunately for Izuku, they both were in the same class all the way to the end of middle school. It seemed that every year Bakugou got more and more fierce in his bullying while also becoming more and more bold in his claims of heroism.

"I'm going to be the one to surpass All Might!" Bakugou would shout. He was surrounded by his friends and Izuku. They would all shout in agreement to his claim, but Izuku would just look at him.

"Y-yes! I'm sure you will Katsuki-sama." Izuku would finally say after Bakugou glared at him enough. Bakugou would smirk at the poor boy before reaching out and aggressively ruffling his hair. This once peaceful and calming act became one of malice and pain for Izuku.

"Good squirt. If you're lucky one day I might let you be my tactician. After all, that's all a quirkless is good for; helping those who have power."

The only time that Izuku had any freedom from this while at school was during classes. He and Bakugou had far apart seats, and he enjoyed it to its fullest. Bakugou would still try to distract him during class, but Izuku simply got better at focusing on the lesson. He poured his heart into each subject. Even through his bullying he got top marks in each class, but something was still strange. None of the teachers ever seemed to acknowledge his accomplishments; when announcing that someone got top marks they would simply skip Izuku, and when he brought this to the principal they shrugged it off. Saying that it was simply Izuku blowing things out of proportion. For Izuku this was another way that life was against him, that reality was unfair simply because he was in the twenty percent. Well, not every teacher was bad; there was one that seemed to be on his side.

Kadachi-sensei was, in many ways, his only friend that he had at school. He taught biology, and it quickly became Izuku's favorite subject. Kadachi always made a point to state that Izuku got top marks where applicable, in addition to everyone else who did. For the first time in his life, Izuku found someone who treated him fairly, who didn't punish him for being quirkless, nor did he baby him for it either.

Izuku and Kadachi had many talks with each other. Izuku loved spending time in his office before and after school. It was a peaceful place away from Bakugou, and Kadachi could see it in Izuku's eyes that he needed the company.

"I'm sorry for spending so much time in your office, Kadachi-sensei." After Izuku said this Kadachi looked up from his work books and gave the student a warm smile.

"Don't think anything of it, Midoriya-kun. It is my duty as a teacher to protect my students."

"You almost sound like a pro hero talking like that." Izuku's voice had a fondness in it, a great admiration for his teacher.

"There are other types of heroes other than pro heroes Midoriya-kun." Kadachi began, setting down his work books as he felt a conversation arising. "A hero is someone who fights for what they believe in for the good of the society." Izuku thought for a moment, before coming to a realization.

"But Kadachi-sensei! Don't villains do that as well? There are tons of villains who fight for what they believe in." Kadachi nodded his head at that remark.

"Yes, but the main difference is who is going with the status-quo versus who is going against it. That is how society determines who is a hero and who isn't." A look of concern crossed Izuku's face.

"So it doesn't matter how bad a person is as long as they are on the right side of the status-quo?" Izuku had put down his notebook and stood up. Kadachi thought for a moment before looking at his pupil and shook his head.

"I'm afraid so. This is how it has been and how it will be unfortunately. Many people have tried to change it, but none have succeeded." Izuku looked down at his hands. They were holding each other and wiggling around; he felt ansty and noticed a tickle in his throat.

"Sensei… is-is there any hope for someone like me?" Izuku's voice was cracking, and he was visibly shaking. Kadachi stood up and moved around his desk until he was standing next to the young Midoriya.

"Listen to me, Midoriya-kun. This world is unfair and harsh and cruel. This world needs those to fight the cruelty and the harshness. Only someone who has lived and survived through it can truly fight it though." He put a hand on Izuku's shoulder. "I believe in you, Midoriya-kun. You might not have a quirk, but you have so much potential. You see this world differently from others, and that is both a curse and a blessing. Because you don't have a quirk, you might feel weak, but there are so many ways you're strong. Fight it, Midoriya-kun, fight the demons inside of you who want to drag you down into despair. Fight that feeling of hopelessness, but most of all I want you to promise me something." Izuku looked up at his teacher, his eyes welling with tears.

"W-what is it, Sensei?" He could barely make out, his voice broken.

"Promise me that I can look up the name Midoriya Izuku and see a long list of accomplishments, and someone who is fighting for the rights of everyone." Izuku nodded his head slowly, trying to not look like a complete mess. "Let me hear you!" Kadachi shouted, gripping their shoulders tighter.

"I promise, Sensei! I will do it!" Izuku shouted back, there was still sorrow in his eyes but it quickly became overwhelmed by joy and motivation.

...

It felt good to have someone believe in me, but it feels like even that is against the status-quo.

...

Bakugou saw Izuku leave Kadachi's office with tears and a smile on his face, and something felt off. Izuku looked overjoyed, and this pissed him off. He slammed his hand on the wall and decided to wait. He would let Izuku enjoy this high, at least until lunch.

When it finally came time for lunch Izuku intended to sit down alone. Some days he actually had the luxury of doing so, but today was most definitely not one of those days. Bakugou and the rest of his gang all set their trays down. Izuku was surrounded, and worst of all, Bakugou was right next to him. He tried to not look at any of them, opting to stuff his face and look down at his food. At first, through some miracle, he thought his plan was working until he heard Bakugou's familiar voice.

"Quirkless, you should look at your superiors when they sit down with you." His words erupted from his mouth; each of them was dripping with contempt. Izuku slowly lifted up his head, his mouth still full of food. He looked around, still trying to not make eye contact with Bakugou. He felt a hand on his head as it was forcibly turned. "Over here, Quirkless." His eyes came face to face with the blond's. Izuku felt his muscles tense and his nerves scream. Bakugou scowled at him. "Thank us for gracing you with our presence." Izuku was scared of what would happen to him, and quickly blurted out what Bakugou wanted to hear.

"Thank you for being here, Katsuki-sama." Unfortunately for the young Midoriya, his mouth was still full of food. A few pieces flew out from his mouth and landed squarely on Bakugou's face. Izuku's face turned white as Bakugou's face turned red. He could feel the boy's anger start to burn; and if looks could kill Izuku would be several feet deep. Before Izuku could react, a sudden strike hit his stomach. He didn't look but knew it was Bakugou's fist. Bakugou turned Izuku's head so when he retched the food that was in his mouth landed on his plate.

"Apologize, Deku." The words traveled through the air like lightning. Izuku tried to flinch, but Bakugou's grip on his head was only getting tighter.

"I'm sorry, Katsuki-sama." Izuku said, his eyes welling with tears; he bowed his head slightly.

"You can muster more feeling than that, Squirt." The hand holding Izuku's head started to sweat, and his eyes grew wide. He knew what could happen if he didn't give Bakugou what he wanted.

"I'm sorry, Katsuki-sama!" He said louder, his body starting to shake.

"You are nothing, you hear me?" Bakugou's iron grip somehow got tighter. "You are quirkless and worthless, and will never amount to anything. I bet your dad somehow knew you were quirkless, and that's why he left." That was the third thing burned into his memory. He had no way of proving the validity of Bakugou's statement, but in a way that made it worse. Before he could even start crying, the bully continued. "I bet your Mom wishes you were less pathetic. Imagine how long she had to put up with your quirkless bullshit." That was the fourth thing burned into his memory.
"I.. I… No — She cares for me bec-" Izuku tried to say, to counter what was being told to him. To try and remind himself that this was Bakugou trying to push him to the edge.

"If you go home and ask her about this, of course she'll say it's wrong. She's been lying to herself and you for years, so why stop?" Izuku could feel his head heating up, pleasantly at first before it started to burn. A bunch of tiny explosions all going off on his scalp. Slight trickles of blood oozed down his head.

"You're- you're hurting me…" Izuku moaned, his voice barely a whisper.

"Good. Quirkless people like you deserve nothing. You exist to make those who are better than you have easier lives." Bakugou growled, his words came down like a chisel on soft stone. Etching their meaning on the surface.

"That's… that's not true." Izuku muttered, but barely a sound came out through his tears.

"What's that Quirkless? I can't hear you at all." Bakugou finally let go of Izuku's head. "Go run off and cry to Kadachi-sensei. I can't believe you made him your babysitter." Izuku tried to get up, to run, to leave, but his body didn't listen. He wanted to say something, to fight back, to push this all off. Izuku started to rock back and forth slowly. He was searching his mind for something, anything, that could calm him down. His breathing grew more rapid and uncontrolled. His head turned upwards, eyes darting around the room. He saw people and faces, but no friends, no allies. He thought about running to Kadachi or home. He thought about everything he could do in this situation. The world around him started to spin, he felt dizzy even though he hadn't moved an inch.

Slowly Izuku stood up, his muscles creaking and his body rigid. He got up from the table and started to walk, just anywhere. He could hear laughter, joy, and merriment from Bakugou and his friends. Izuku collapsed, landing with his knees on the ground, trying to keep himself supported with his arms. He could feel a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and saw a blurred face of a teacher. His ears were ringing so loudly that he had no idea what the teacher said.

Then he felt more hands on his back. They yanked him up, moving him onto his feet. The hands seemed to drag him, pulling him somewhere. He could hear more talking, but the words are so far beyond what he could reason right now. He could feel his body ascending, moving through the school. Everything felt both too slow and too fast. His body felt hot and cold; he was shivering but sweating. After what seemed like eternity he finally reached where he was being taken. The roof. The hands let go of him and he fell to the floor again. He spun himself around, looking up at the blue sky.

Breathing in and out, Izuku managed to regain some composure. The fresh air and calming sky helped him greatly. He wondered why he was brought here, and who brought him here. He sat up, slowly, his body still not entirely sure if it wanted to move yet. His heart just about stopped; the next few minutes were the fifth and final thing burned into his memory. Bakugou was standing on the roof with him, only several feet away from him. He was hoping Bakugou would apologize, to make right what had happened, but for Izuku, no such luck existed.

"Ask yourself this," the bully began, a scowl on his face, "should someone as worthless as you exist?" That was all Bakugou said, leaving Izuku on the roof. There was a loud slam as the door closed behind him.

...

This is it. Izuku's thoughts ran through his life up to this moment. He stood up and walked over to the edge, peering over the side. Here I am. Alone, as I usually am. The wind blew through the air, the young Midoriya shuddered at the wind's cold edge. Should someone as worthless as me exist? Bakugou's question ran through his mind repeatedly. His mind flickered through the people who would miss him. Kadachi, his mother, and…. Was that it? Was that the extent of the impact he'd had? No. I can't be that lonely…. Izuku put a hand to his head. At this point the blood had dried. He started scratching at it, picking at it more and more. I can't be that lonely, that small. I had to have caused some change… He continued to scratch, soon breaking through the dried blood and then skin. As he looked out over the edge of the building, the bright sky above him and the busy world beneath, he felt nothing. No fear, no anger, no happiness, no joy. The numbness flooded his body, and he felt nothing as he took a step up to the ledge.

Am I worthless right now? The boy's arms fell limp to his sides. Blood covered his right hand, but he didn't care. Why should he? I am. He thought to himself, those two words all the encouragement he needed to take one more step. I am... He repeated to himself again, but this time he noticed he left space for a word. Why would he though? Unless...

"I believe in you, Midoriya-kun." The voice of Kadachi rang in his head. Izuku's eyes grew wide. The memory of their conversation flooding back to him as if to help fight what he's going through.

Do I deserve anything…?

"A hero is someone who fights for what they believe in for the good of the society." It was like Kadachi was standing behind him, but these words weren't coming from the area around him. They came from somewhere more important, deeper.

Am I worthless…?

"Because you don't have a quirk you might feel weak, but there are so many ways you're strong."

I.

"Fight it, Midoriya-kun, fight the demons inside of you who want to drag you down into despair."

Am.

"Promise me that I can look up the name Midoriya Izuku and see a long list of accomplishments, and someone who is fighting for the rights of everyone."

NOT. The words screamed themselves in Midoriya Izuku's head. He could feel his blood moving and his heart racing. He clenched his fists. He would fix this world, and he would do it by himself if he had to. The status-quo needed changing, and from this point onwards, he vowed he would do whatever necessary to change it.