What is love?

Many philosophers and men of great standings have devoted their time to explore the never ending topic that is love. Despite all of their efforts, love still remains a mystery to the world. People may choose how they would like to see love. There are the romantic types who view love as the feeling that only other people can invoke. On the other hand, there are those that view love as the result of a chemical process that happens inside the body.

I tend to be the former in this case.

For the first time in my life, I have fallen in love.

The feeling that I have experienced cannot be explained through science. It is one thing to know how dopamine, oxytocin and vasopressin affect the body in regards to love. But it is another thing to feel it firsthand.

The way my chest tightens and my emotions shift whenever I'm near that person is simply… magical.

How absurd. The person that was me in the past would never accept such a shallow explanation, nor would condone being so open to vulnerabilities.

However, that was in the past.

The me from the past would see this as nothing but weakness. But that person was lonely and hurt. That person has never felt something like this before.

That's why I can say with certainty that I have changed.

Because the me right now can smile and express myself in ways I have thought impossible before.

Thus in regards to love, it is true that it can change people.

The doorbell rang once.

I got up to my feet and towards the door in hurry. I paused just I arrived in the doorway and checked if I was presentable. I fixed my bangs and straightened the crease in my clothes. While I was sure that I have done this half an hour ago, I cannot guarantee that everything was done perfectly.

Ah, what about my hair? Should I have done something different?

The anxiety that was nonexistent just a minute ago was now making sure that I cannot decide what to do first.

Calm down. Get your act together.

Everything is fine.

But what if-

The doorbell rang for the second time.

My attention that was divided into several thoughts returned. Ah, not good. Why did this happen now of all times?

I forgot whatever troubles that held me back and opened the door.

What greeted me was the sight of my partner dressed in refreshingly informal wear that made my heart skip a beat. Clad in a dark shirt and a brown jacket with matching leather shoes and gray pants, he made quite a dashing figure.

He even fixed his hair to match his smart looking get up.

Truly this person can be quite a looker when he puts in the effort.

"Wow."

But it seems that I was not the only one taken aback.

I watched his eyes roam over me and felt a rush of something when he sighed in astoundment.

If I'm not mistaken, this is the first time that he had ever seen me wear a kimono. Normally, I would only wear them whenever my family and I are attending an event that required something different from western dresses.

That I am wearing one right now meant that there was indeed an event that required so.

"Hello, Hikigaya-kun. Have something to say?"

I flashed him a teasing look that made his face turn a little red. Oh no. I meant to ask that when we're inside at least. This is not good, I am feeling too excited to even act normally.

"You look great."

I could not suppress the smile that overcame my face. His compliment was nothing compared to the other people who sang me of nothing but praises. But his honest answer was something else. It was something that made me crave for more.

"You look quite different from usual too."

I can't deny the charm that he radiates. Even his rotten eyes cannot hide the youthful look overflowing from him right now.

"This is the first time I'm dressing up like this. Do I look weird or something? Komachi just kept laughing whenever I ask her."

No amount of good clothes can take away this boy's awkward nature.

"You don't look weird at all. In fact, I'm surprised that you pull it off quite well Hikigaya-kun."

I sent him an assuring smile. In any other day I would have teased him and make some comments that would prevent him from having a big head. But today was different. I don't want him to feel any kind of doubt, no matter how small. But I am not lying either. He truly looked different from usual.

"Really?"

Oh you silly boy.

"Believe me, Hikigaya-kun."

He made a small and warm smile the sent shivers down my spine. Only a year ago, this boy would only make self deprecating smiles that made his features even more miserable. The image of that boy and this person made me aware just how much effort he was putting.

Forget about propriety.

I took a step forward and wrapped my arms around his torso. I could feel him take in surprise as our body melded. The feeling of my chest on his made my heartstrings strung pleasantly.

Sometimes, I just lose reason and act on impulse.

This continued for a minute before he coughed in embarrassment.

"Yukinoshita, not that I'm against this but… maybe we shouldn't do this here?"

My eyes opened and remembered that we were still in the doorway. My head snapped in my surroundings and saw my neighbors staring at our public display of affection.

W-what a blunder.

I released him from my embrace and pulled him inside my apartment.

The two of us made it in the living room in silence. There were snacks and cool drinks already prepared in the table. He took a seat in the sofa and I sat beside him. What happened outside was a little embarrassing. Ever since we started going out, I would sometimes do things without thinking that would result in the two of us walking away from humiliation.

But never once did he complain.

In fact, he was looking quite amused right now.

"What was that all about?"

"Nothing, just felt like it."

That was not entirely true. He was acting cute and appealed to me. What choice did I have but to pamper him?

I poured us a glass of cool tea to dispel the incoming questions. Curses. I have forgotten to bring out the swirly straws. Maybe next time.

He took the glass and sipped the contents.

"So when are we leaving?"

"In less than an hour. Our driver is on his way."

Today was different from our usual outings. Although we could still consider still this a date, the fact that we are going to have lunch with my mother would ruin the mood.

"So, another meeting with your mother… this is getting frequent."

"She has taken a shine at you, better get used to it."

That much was true. My mother was fond of Hikigaya-kun. I had no idea how it started or the explanation behind it. It doesn't help that Nee-san was on the same boat as me. I have no idea what to feel about this development.

Because of this, it was not strange if Hikigaya-kun would meet my mother once or twice a month, usually on weekends. Every time that they would meet, I was present. My mother would always chat with Hikigaya-kun about mundane stuff about Chiba…

Can it be…? No it was impossible. Mother isn't like that. Right?

I sighed at the ridiculous thought and focused at the person beside me. Hikigaya-kun was fiddling with his phone.

"Hey, make a smile."

I paused in curiosity at his request before I noticed that his phone was pointing at us, our reflection visible in the screen.

Snap!

"W-wait a moment, I wasn't prepared…"

True to my words, the photo showed me looking a little lost. It was a very picture worthy shot.

"What was that again? Oh yeah, the world waits for no one, Yukinoshita."

There was a smug look on his face as he recited the line that I always threw at him whenever I caught him off guard and he complains. This was a defeat for me, but I wasn't going to let this slide.

"I sure hope you're not planning to call me like that in front of mother…"

"Oh yeah… last time was awkward."

Last time Hikigaya-kun called me by my last name, mother had insisted that he call her by her first name on the duration of his stay. She said that since he failed at such a simple step, he needs to learn how some people might react. To say that I was jealous when he kept calling her by her first name and addressed me always was an understatement.

"It's actually hard though. Your first name is a part of your last name, so I always continue instead at stopping."

"Then you need to work twice as hard. Really, why do you always make things harder than it needs to be, Hachiman?"

"It's your fault for having such a weird name."

I frowned in response to his teasing. It was weird to imagine how the boy in the past who would do nothing but mock everyone around him was now lounging in my apartment and about to meet my mother. Mysterious is the way fate works. My enemy yesterday was now my lover today.

Love…

Such a deep thing that seem to have no end. To think that I would fall in love with this person, I still find it strange until now.

But what's not to love about him?

Aside from the remaining 80% that was rotten? Heh.

"Yukino. Yukino. Yukinoshi- damn it. Yu-ki-no. Yukino…."

Even the sound of his voice repeating my name was alluring to my ears. Just how deep have I fallen for this person?

I dropped my body to the sofa and rested my head on his lap. Not breaking his silly practice, one of his hands found the top of my head, gently caressing my hair.

What is love?

Love is something that makes you silly.

But I'd rather be silly than alone.

End