Homelander can't put into words the way he feels about Madelyn Stillwell. Looking at her makes his stomach tie itself up into a knot like his insides balls of wool unravelled then all tangled up. It's more than lust; lust he could handle.

He has known her for three months, two weeks, and three days. In that time, she is all he can think about, one word from her can make or ruin his whole day. His time is spent seeking out her company or spying on her. It's an obsession.

Last week she ignored him. Going to events for other heroes, being there for them and in her downtime, she's with some puny, random normal who smells like beer and sweat too much. It fills him with rage; anger flows through his body along with blood.

It's why he made a mistake. It's why those people are dead. Now he has her attention as she cleans up his mess, but he doesn't like the sighs of disappointment. It makes him want to cry for the first time since he was a boy, alone locked behind a door.

He can imagine her telling everyone at vought, how the powerful Homelander cried like a baby in front of her.

"You are the one I'm supposed to be able to rely on, the one who doesn't make mistakes or give into vices yet ten people are fucking dead on a really easy job. What happened?" Madelyn asks her voice like honey but her words like venom.

It feels like verbal disembowelment.

"While you were busy holding the hand of that snivelling little weasel Ice Spikes or whatever his name is I was left with some useless idiot who advised me badly," he half whines, half snarls. He was lying, Sandra, had done her job well. Ensuring multiple times he knew the plan.

Everything was going great until the tv in the background in the room the hostages were being held Madelyn appeared with Ice Spikes at her side. He lost it. There was no other way to describe and by the time he regained control, everyone was dead.

"I'll have her contact terminated, no one knows you were there today. Pay off the police, and hush money to the families. This should all go away," Madelyn tells him and her voice so soft, that all familiar feeling of want returns. "But this can't happen again".

She moves towards him slowly, like a snake getting ready to strike out. Her hand reaches up and caresses his cheek. It's the first time she has ever touched and it's the sweetest of torture.

"I need to know there is one person I can trust, one person that can help me make vought everything I know it can be,"

He finds himself nodding along. Words trapped his throat.

"I know packaged the right way you'll be good for this company, good for me".