Lucifer was sitting on Chloe's desk, bouncing so much that she thought her poor little plant was going to vibrate into the floor.

"Someone's happy today," Chloe mused as she sipped her coffee.

"Oh, that's because my boyfriend's coming into town".

Chloe spewed her coffee all over the desk.

"YOU'RE WHAT?!".

"Did I stutter, Detective?" Lucifer asked slyly.

"Since when do you have a boyfriend?!"

"Oh, Johnny and I have been together for years,ever since he first stumbled his lovely little arse into Hell," he sighed.

"But...but..." Chloe stuttered,as she desparately tried to get her brain back online, "you sleep with all of those people?".

"We tend to keep open borders on that front, someone has to fire up the incinerator when he's traveling".

"YOU WERE MARRIED!" She yelled.

"Ah yes,well,that was just for mum's benefit,"Lucifer explained," you see, our Darling Candace is a professional actress. Even Johnny has used her as a fake wife on occasion".

"I am not drunk enough for this," Chloe muttered.

Lucifer handed his flask out to her. She gave him a dirty look, before snatching it and downing the contents.

"Detective! That was a twenty-five year old scotch!".

"Pfft, you can afford it".

Their debate over alcohol theft was interrupted by the stranger coming down the steps of the precinct. The man had dirty blonde hair and a swagger that did nothing to quell Chloe's growing libido. She was certain that trenchcoat wearing figure was definitely going to star in some late-night fantasies of hers.

The visitor turned his head in their direction, and his brown eyes twinkled as he looked at Lucifer.

"Luci!".

"Johnny! You made it!" Lucifer rushed over and grabbed him into a passionate kiss, earning a few whistles from the bullpen.

They finally broke apart for air. John laid his head against Lucifer's shoulder, while Lucifer kept his arms around him.

"I've missed you, Darling".

"I've missed you too, luv," John said before getting a strange look on his face at something behind the devil's shoulder, "Uh...Luci...is that bloody Cain standing up there?".

"What?" Lucifer looked back long enough to see Pierce flee into his office, "Oh! Oh yes, it is. The wanker's posing as a police Lieutenant this century, can you believe it?".

"Are you seriously telling me that the father of murder...actually runs the homicide division?".

"Ironic I know, but nevermind him," Lucifer took John's hand and lead him over to Chloe's desk," I want you to meet Chloe. Chloe, this is John Constantine, my boyfriend".

"It's nice to meet you, John," Chloe says as she stands up to shake his hand.

"Pleasure's all mine, luv, Luci's told me alot about you".

"Really? Cause he did not mention you at all," she chuckled.

"Ah, well, my line of work does make it difficult for us to advertise our relationship".

He handed Chloe his card, and she read the information with a look of disbelief.

"Master of the Dark Arts?".

"I really need to get new ones made," he sighed.

"Darling, you've been saying that for years".

"We can't all be rich Devils, Luci," John chuckled.

"So, you're one of those," Chloe sighed...so much for Lucifer dating normal people.

"One of what, exactly?".

"Oh, the detective doesn't believe I'm actually the devil" Lucifer supplied cheerfully.

John gave him an incredulous look. "You're kidding".

"Fraid not, Johnny. She thinks I just talk in metaphors".

"So, if I'm understanding correctly, you want this woman," John looked from Chloe and back to Lucifer, " who thinks you're an absolute nutter...to be our third?"

"Third what?" Chloe asked confused.

"Why third partner of course! Terribly sorry for not explaining this earlier , Detective, but Johnny and I are looking for an additional person for our relationship, and naturally I recommended you".

Chloe looked at her partner like he'd just grown a third head.

"What on Earth made you think I'd ever...EVER...be interested in a threesome?".

"I was referring to a full relationship, Detective, the threesomes are a bonus," Lucifer drawled,"As for where I got the idea, Daniel provided me with some lovely stories about your college years whilst being intoxicated".

Of course, Dan chose just that moment to walk up to Chloe's desk. If looks could kill, they would be scraping deep-fried douche of the precinct floor at that moment.

"Aaand on that note, Johnny and I are off. We'll see you at our date tonight, Detective!".

"Wait!" Chloe called out as they headed towards the exit, "what date?!".

"I'll text you the time and address!".

With that, the devil and the exorcist fled the station, leaving a certain douche at the mercy of his annoyed ex-wife.

*

Chloe arrived at the address that Lucifer had sent her. She really wasn't sure she wanted to go on this date, but, as Maze so eloquently reminded her, "if you don't get those cobwebs cleaned soon, you're gonna need professionally fumigated".

So there she was, standing in front of one of the best restaurants in LA, wearing a little black dress, her hair down in loose curls, about to go on a date with two men...two very hot men,but still.

She didn't have to wait long before an arm wrapped around hers.

"Luci's already inside, he sent me out to fetch you," John said.

"Oh, thank you".

"Tell me something," he asked as they walked into the restaurant , "Does he always call you Detective?".

*

Dinner turned out to be a wonderful affair. Chloe found John to be just as fascinating, if not more so, than Lucifer. There was another part of her, a much lower part, that was also intrigued by the exorcist.

By the time they all made it back to Lux, she'd made a decision.

Once in the elevator, Chloe laid a deep kiss, first on John, then on Lucifer.

"Detective, are you sure?".

"Shut up," her and John said at the same time before they tackled the devil.

The three of them stumbled out into the penthouse, clothing flying in various directions. By the time they made it up the stairs to the bedroom, everyone was completely naked.

The men each kissed Chloe, before gently laying her on the bed. She took a moment to admire both of their physiques. John was slightly shorter but had similar, lean muscles. Lucifer was a tad paler and didn't have any tattoos like his boyfriend did, but was still gorgeous.

John kissed Lucifer hard before turning his attention to the woman on the bed.

"Bloody hell, Chloe, Luci said you were beautiful, but his description didn't do you justice".

They climbed onto the bed, Lucifer on the left of her and John on the right. Starting at her ankles, they kissed their way up Chloe's body, sending shivers down her spine. She gasped when Lucifer took one breast in his mouth and John took the other. While they suckled her nipples, each ran a hand down to her sensitive mound.

Chloe gasped as Lucifer inserted two fingers inside her, while John deftly rubbed her clit. She grasped their free hands in both of hers, needing an anchor for the sensations rippling through her.

Chloe came with a loud cry as the men continued to work her through the aftershocks. When her breathing leveled, Lucifer removed his fingers and John removed his. The devil climbed over top of her, and pressed their lips together in a searing kiss as he positioned his cock over her dripping core. John lubed his own member up and positioned himself at Lucifer's entrance.

John entered Lucifer at the same time he entered Chloe. A collective gasp sounded as they all moved at the same time. It was a little awkward at first, but they soon found a rhythm that had them all crying out. Chloe tipped over the edge first, taking Lucifer with her. The combined vibrations soon had John spilling his orgasm as well.

Slowly, everyone pulled out and collapsed on the bed, careful not to squish Chloe at the bottom of the pile. John spooned her from behind, while Lucifer embraced them both from the front.

"So Chloe," Lucifer said as he kissed her gently, "how did it feel to be a Detective sandwich?".

"Pretty good actually," she sighed," and I think I'd like to explore this triad relationship...but with a few ground rules".

"Oh?"

"For starters, no more sleeping with anyone outside of the three of us, I refuse to share myself with a constantly fired up incinerator...and you," she said as she rolled over to face John, " you need to relocate to LA permanently, so I can get to know you better".

"You drive a hard bargain, luv, but it'll be worth it to have this again. What do you say, Luci?".

Lucifer smiled as he kissed him, then Chloe, " I say this makes me the happiest Devil alive".

They snuggled into each other's embrace, and Chloe was nearly asleep,when she heard Lucifer talking to himself.

"I wonder which one of us gets to be the urchin's stepfather?".